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First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Friday, August 3, 2012

Another Mirror

It happened within the first day or two of learning of these mirrors (July 21, 2012; at night).  I just decided to put off sharing it until now.

I'd been feeling pretty cruddy about myself for a few days... my phsycial appearance particularly.  There was a very specific trigger and as a result of a single moment and a comment made, I allowed myself to feel like I was hideous.

I hadn't been consciously thinking about this feeling I had about myself, but it was there.

It was Kat's turn to spend an extra 15 minutes (or so) with me after everyone else went to bed.  She was SO excited and I felt really happy to have some quiet time with her.  Somewhere in the midst of our few special minutes, she had to run to the toilet really quickly.  When she came back she said to me, "Mama, I think I'm really ugly."

Oh, the horror.  The pain.  The mirror was up quicker than chickens on a baby mouse.  Seriously fast.  I saw myself.  She was mirroring to me how I felt about me.  This one is a First and Second Mirror, a combo, for me.

We had a long talk about her comment.  And I tried to listen and really pay attention to what I was saying to her, because I also need to internalize the words I said to my girl and felt with all my heart when I said them to my Kitty Kat.

By the by... in case your a curious one like me: she thought she was ugly because of the newly aquired scar as a result of our exciting run in with a real life emergency situation in which our practice of drills came in super handy.

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