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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Thankful Thursday: Week of January 19 - 25

Thursday, January 19, 2012:  I'm thankful for the peaceful good day we've had today.  I'm especially grateful for those things Jessie did of his own desire and motivation.  I'm especially thankful that among the things he accomplished today he did dishes!  What a help to me!  He also fitted out our newest bunnies in a safer location (on our patio and in the pet-like hutch we sort of bought).  Additionally (an no less importantly), he fixed the current rabbit-keeping get-up to be more firmly attached and in place.  Hopefully whatever is predating our rabbits will be UNsuccessful in the future!

Friday, January 20, 2012:  I'm thankful for the cleaning, letter writing and story-writing I was able to do today.  What a productive (though in small ways) day!  I love to see results of my efforts!  I'm grateful that Jessie took some time out of his work day to get the tags for our vehicles and deposit our paycheck.  Unfortunately, he didn't have everything he needed to do the job....  ahwell.  He certainly tried.

Saturday, January 21, 2012:  I'm thankful for the quiet day at home and the things we were able to accomplish (not much, but also a lot).  Shifting the "media/craft room" around.

Sunday, January 22, 2012:  I'm thankful for health and the opportunity to go to church together as a family. YEAY!  We are all well and hopefully we'll stay this way for a while!

Monday, January 23, 2012:  I'm thankful for Peace in my heart even when the world seems to run a-muck around me.  I'm grateful to be able to accomplish much (never enough, but still happy for what does get done).  Today, phone conversations to resolve ICES stuff and empathize with a Sister are the accomplishment of the morning.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012:  I'm thankful for the errands Jessie ran today, which will decrease the stress of running those same errands with all our kiddos.  I'm grateful for the work he does, generally.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012:  I'm thankful for the serving of our family Jessie did today.  He dropped by Tractor Supply to get some chicken wire, then off to the dirt store to buy some more good stuff, then back home to bust his bum some in getting the awesome dirt in place.  We normally work together as soon as he gets home with the black stuff, but today I was working on something when he got home.  He got right to work, for which I'm super grateful because doing so enabled us to have a more leisurely lunch together before he had to go to work for the night.

Although I am not happy that what has happened HAS happened, I'm so beyond grateful for the opportunity to serve (in my capacity as Compassionate Service Leader) a really wonderful family in my Ward.  I have felt some moments of pure joy in service for them, for which I am tremendously grateful!

I'm also grateful for the awesome experience of receiving what felt like to me, a download of information from Heavenly Father which I have high hopes may help the person it is meant to bless.  "Oh, use me God!" my soul joyfully cried, when I learned from my friend that the information I'd received sounds good to her!!  I'm so grateful to feel to be an instrument in His Hands!!!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Thankful Thursday: Week of January 12 to 18

Thursday, January 12, 2012:  I'm thankful for the garden work we were able to get going today.  We now have almost double the space we started with before our efforts!  YEAY!  I'm hoping I'll have a good planting plan sometime soon!

I'm grateful for the writing I've been able to get done.  27 pages in the past 3 days (not including today).  Pretty awesome, yes?  :)

Friday, January 13, 2012:  I'm thankful for answered prayers.  I've been praying the Lord to bless me with Quantum Leaps in my progression... mostly Spiritual, but also hoping for other things and other ways of becoming better... I realized just recently that the Lord has answered my prayer by blessing me with numerous trials.  The most recent trial of ill health has been cumbersome, to say the least.  Each time I think my sweet babies are better, they barf again.  :(  It's exhausting.  Emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually exhausting.  I pray I am truly Leaping... but fear I am barely baby stepping along!

Jessie made some suggestions about writing effort he would like to see me make and since then I have met or exceeded his suggestion.  He said it was not an expectation, per se, but I have felt it to be just that.  Good progress in the THE story that has been gestating in me for the last eight year is such a joy.  I feel such excitment in learning what is happening in the lives of these characters that are almost like friends in my mind!  If you don't write, I realize that could sound crazy, but it's really quite normal.  I promise.  :)

Saturday, Januaray 14, 2012:  I'm thankful for all the work my children and I were able to accomplish this afternoon!  Kat and Tea did help, but really it was mostly Ria and me working hard to get some more of our front garden area defined so we can pack it full of good dirt.  (Our soil here is mostly sand with a little dust-like dirt mixed in.  When I dig down far enough, it's a bit of clay mixed with dirt.  Amazing, right?)  We did get the area completed.  It was wonderful to accomplish so much with my kiddos!  Jmy was a sweetie almost the whole time.  He crawled back and forth, following his sisters in their efforts to gather dirt in a little bucket and move the liner stones we used.  I got the easiest work today.  I'm still super tired for the 26 hours awake last Sunday....  Anyway... hopefully we'll be able to get the dirt on Tuesday.  I'm sure we'll be able to spread it over the whole area, but I think we'll have to make one more haul to fill in the area to the depth we need.  I still haven't planned out the plantings....

Plus we have a long strip area in the back that needs work.  We're making that area into huglekulture (as well as the third 8x10 bed we fixed up a few weeks ago).  I'm hoping this kinda of garden will help us with the dry hot summer!

Sunday, January 15, 2012:  I'm thankful for the Sacrament.  I went to church to partake and then back home because Ria barfed Saturday night and Kat barfed twice this morning!  "/  I'm grateful for the peaceful and enjoyable day we spent together as a family.

Monday, January 16, 2012:  I'm thankful for how helpful my girls can be when we have work to do. I'm grateful for their loving dispositions.  I'm grateful that I was able to get some work done in our front garden area and then salvage some screws for future projects.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012:  I'm thankful for the awesome work Jessie did in getting another load of mushroom compost for our gardens.  We've got the front area we've been working on completely covered... just have to get another load to finish it off.  We'll probably also be able to start adding soil to the LONG garden box in the back in which I hope to plant lots of peas for eating (and, if I'm truly blessed: canning!).  ^_^

Wednesday, January 18, 2012:  I'm thankful for Jessie, my husband.  Jess is a good human being.  He's strong (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually).  He is talented: plays guitar, teaching himself to sing, writes well when he sits down to do it (stories and songs, etc) and he's got a most amazing and enjoyable imagination!  Jessie is very VERY skilled!  He is a Chef, a musician, a mechanic, a handy-man, a good planner (when he puts his mind to it), a great play-mate for children, and a hard worker when he chooses to be.  He is just a really good person.  I'm grateful he found me on matchmaker.com these 11 years ago!  I'm even more grateful that, even though I wasn't a praying girl or doing right in many ways, that the Lord whispered loud and clear that I should break some of my "rules" to meet this guy.  Even with all the troubles, he's really worth it all!  I'm grateful for the Father he is and is becoming.  I'm grateful for the provider he is and consistently tries to be.  I'm grateful for his efforts to become a better man.  I'm grateful that he is my husband and pray WE will both continue to successfully  KEEP CHOOSING US!  ICU, JessieWho.  I really do.  And I still choose you.

I'm grateful for those things that were accomplished today, especially what Jess chose to do without being asked: fitting a light up in our computer room.  It's so much brighter in there at night now.  I'm grateful for the time we were able to spend together as a family.  It was a GOOD day!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Thankful Thursday: Week of January 5 to 11

Thursday, January 5, 2011:  I'm thankful for all the work we were able to accomplish toward the garden.  It was really nice to have a family meal before Jessie went off to work, too!

Friday, January 6, 2011:  I'm thankful for my sister-in-law, Anni.  Today is her birthday.  Although she dislikes me with a vehemence I don't quite understand, I am grateful for her because without Anni in Jessie's life, I know my husband would not be exactly who he is.  And since he's my Man, and We
Keep Choosing Us, I'm grateful for who he is and what part she has had in making him HIM!  I'm grateful for all those who have been in Jessie's life who have contributed to the man he is.  So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Anni.  I'm grateful for you and hope you have a wonderful day!

I'm also thankful that, even though the day started out difficult, it has been a peaceful day.  Kat awakened for the first time around 3 or 4am to throw up, then again a few hours later, another time or two after that.  She hasn't hurled for a few hours now, which is wonderful.  Hopefully she'll remain well and we'll be able to go to church on Sunday.  We'll see.

Saturday, January 7, 2011:  I'm thankful for productive and peaceful days like today.  I created an "event" in Facebook for Ria's birthday party/activity.  I did a tiny bit of organizing food storage to free up some cardboard boxes we're using for gardening.  I was able to purchase a couple things from Emergency Essentials with some gift cards I earned (so exciting!).  And finally made some headway in getting some information for my ICES job.  YEAY!

Sunday, January 8, 2011:  I'm thankful for more time as a family than we normally have on Sundays....  I missed going to church to partake of the Sacrament, but illness has been upon us.  Kat started throwing up on Friday.  Diarhea Saturday and today.  Early this morning Tea started throwing up.  Jess is feeling nauseous and I have a horrible headache.  I honestly do not feel thankful for the illness anymore.  Trying to be grateful about what the illness has caused/brought with it.

Monday, January 9, 2011:  I'm thankful for an easier day than I expected after Tea and Jmy being ill yesterday.  Neither of them threw up again today.  YEAY!  Praise the Lord for His mercies.

Tuesday, January 10, 2011:  I'm thankful for a lovely day trip to Orlando with my family.  The children wore their balck and white clothes Brother Kelly gave them for Christmas.  Their appearance and enjoyment of dressing alike warmed my heart tremendously.  I'm so grateful for my family!

Wednesday, January 11, 2011:  I'm thankful that I was able to accomplish some work that needed to be done.  I'm grateful for encouragement to write - in the last two days I've written sixteen pages of my story!  (That's one long-ish and two short chapters!)  ^_^  Jessie heard about Amanda Hocking on the radio Sunday night and has encouraged me to try for similar success.  So... I am.  :)  I hope you may choose to purchase my book and spread the word once I've released it via ebook formatt.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Believed In

How can words describe the joy
that flexed its wings in my heart
when I realized your words were no ploy?

I think that they, sweet though words are,
fall short in effort to deploy
this hope you've renewed; to describe this new star.

To believe in self is good; and yet
it will carry you only so far.
The light from this star's birth will long be felt, I bet.

A few simple words and suggestions made.
Radiant beams; this star will not set.
It's the most wonderful compliment paid.

Don't you see,
the foundation laid?
A new way to be.

These wings will grow stronger and are sure to flap hard.
The new being burst forth into Light is still me.
Yet not, for the chrysalis has been marred.

A new me filled with this star begins to emerge.
The old doubtings begin to be charred.
Various wings and Ways begin to merge.

Questions, plans, and hopes rise up
as the joy within me continues to surge.
And I am that which runneth over: the cup.

Gratitude falls short to gather the sum.
Am I thankful?  Yup!
I hope I'm no bum.

So the tank begins to fill.
Though starved long, this is no crumb.
The adventure begins anew, if God Will.

Friday, January 6, 2012

A Birthday

January 6, 2012.

Happy Birthday, Anni.  I hope it's a lovely day in every way.  Truly.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 29 - January 4, 2012

Thursday, December 29, 2011:  I'm thankful for  Jessie's hard work in our garden.  I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness and consideration in providing us with a great dinner so I could continue to rest and recooperate!

Friday, December 30, 2011:  I'm thankful for good shopping with my children.  We went to 3 stores in 4 hours.  They were TROOPERS!  Kat said, while we were in the third store, "We've already been here today, Mama!"  Nope, we hadn't... they just all look the same.  Different prices, though... by a LOT, amazingly enough!

Saturday, December 31, 2011:  I'm thankful for a peaceful day and Jessie coming home much earlier than I expected!  I'm grateful to still be married... 9 years married 11 years together now.

Sunday, January 1, 2012:  I'm thankful for good talks and lessons at church today.  I have not, as is MY tradition, set any "New Year's Resolutions".  When I used to, I always failed to keep them very long and felt like a failure.  So, I simply set and work toward goals all year long... I just refuse to set or start or re-start any the first week of January!  ;)

Monday, January 2, 2012:  I'm thankful for a peaceful day... for the most part.  Spent some money on seeds and such... hoping to get this Florida gardening thing down this next season.  I'm good at growing green things... just not much PRODUCE coming from it.  :(  I REALLY hope to have to can up some good stuff from the Spring gardens!

I spent the day managing my lil' brood and trying to teach what is important.

Life is trial, but I sure DO love it and I'm SO grateful for it... ALL!!!!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012:  I'm thankful for the productive day we had today.  Off to the Post Office to mail a very small package... hoping it'll be well received.  Then off to my midwife's office to finally get Tea and Jmy's blood tests done.  Found out their blood types.  Neat to see that process... and they were both courageous troopers in getting poked by the lancet!  Then off to a treat on the way home.  The girls were very well behaved!  (As was Jmy!)  I'm so grateful for the many blessings the Lord sees fit to bestow upon me!!!!

I'm looking forward to receiving some recent purchases (family gifts, really) in the mail.  We're waiting for beneficial nematodes (these are our latest effort to deal with the fire ants naturally... they are such a deterrant to my efforts to work in the garden... the horrible pimple-like welts the ant bites cause and the months-long itching that follows.... then the bite spots are visible indefinitely...  ugh!  Hopefully these tiny guys (the beneficial nematodes) will make the difference I've read they can!), red wigglers (worms; we're finally beginning our worm composting project!), as well as lots more heirloom open-pollintated seeds. FINALLY I was able to buy some comfrey!  YEAY!  I'm praying we'll have a great deal of success in our efforts!  Pray for us, if you think of it!  :)

Wednesday, January 4, 2012:  I'm thankful for all the work we were able to accomplish outside.  We're getting new garden areas prepared and ready for Spring planting.  I'm also grateful for the enjoyable 4-H meeting we had this evening.  Planning for our big Service Project went well as well as work on the children's Community Unity Project book (which they'll turn into the Extension Office by the end of the school year).  They are enjoying the work, which is a pleasure to see.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Sunbeams and other Small but Special bits around Here

Our youngest daughter is Tea.  She is three.  For the first time ever, she went to Primary this past Sunday.  I was sitting sort of looking at her later that day and that fact struck me so profoundly that I had to express it with a declaration: "Tea! you are a SUNBEAM!!"  She, very calmly and peacefully smiled and said, "Yep."  She loved it.  As it happens, she was in class with Kat.  I'm sure that's the best for my Tea since she's rather slow to warm up to new things and new people... just like her Daddy!

She loved it, though.  She was quite happy to be in "Sunbeams," even though she really wasn't in a special class just for Sunbeams.  They don't have enough teachers to support a seperate class for the youngest Primary goers right now.  Soon, I'm sure, they will.  But she's happy to be a Sunbeam!  And I'm amazed that three of my four kiddos are in Primary!  ^_^

Ria will enter the waters of baptism soon.  I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she'll soon be eight!  EIGHT!  My children are growing up way too fast!

Time.  It's doesn't seem to be linear for me lately.  It's been interesting... the way I feel to perceive time.  Strange and wonderful.

Gardening is big in my world right now.  Even as the weather has turned rather cold (for us here).  I've got worms coming in the mail as well as beneficial nematodes.  Last week Jess went to a near place to buy some mushroom compost.  Good deal for what seems to be really good dirt.  It's a pain that we have to buy and bring in dirt, but the cultivated food stuff we'd like to grow will not produce much in the sand that is our land.  So, we're building it up as best we can.  Hopefully we'll have the additional 2 raised beds I've been working on and we've worked on up and going when it's time to put seeds out in the yard!  I started a 4x8 a couple months ago and Jessie helped us get another 4x10 almost compeltely ready last week.  I've also got to 1/2 blue barrells - mostly full of weeds currently, but still.  I'm hoping to get another VERY long and 1 foot deep bed set up right against the house for vining food stuffs... and maybe some vining flowers I was blessed to receive from someone.  I've also got some good flower seeds from varios places I want to get planted... hopefully in the next 6 weeks before the Spring weather sets in well.  We'll see.  I'm so hoping that the gardens will produce more this time around... lots of green from our most recent planting... lots of radishes, but nothing else.  I almost had one zucchini, but something ate it before we got to pick it.  grrr...  That's the way of it here... great for growing, but hard to collect from my efforts - it seems.

Jess has been able to have more consistent time away from work recently.  He's still working too many hours, but it's beginning to improve.

Ria is progressing WELL in all of her studies.  She is becoming quite the little baker, too!  She's also a wonderful pancake maker!  ^_^  She loves to make PB&J and anything else I allow her to try her hand at.  She's amazing.  She's a wonderful helper and tries so very hard to choose the right.  She's getting tall, too.  I can hardly believe my little Ria is so TALL.  She isn't compared to other children her age, but she IS to me!!  She's read and LOVED Eldest (the second book in the Inheritance Series).  It's been fun and funny for me to hear them pretending to be dragons and riders, as per Ria's reading and imagination resulting from her reading of Eragon and Eldest!  And then Kat, with her input of Fairies, in particular our visiting faries.  SUCH fun!!!

Kat is not far behind her big sister, who she adores, of course.  She is reading WELL now and voraciously reads anything she can put her hands on.  She loves pretend play, too, of course.  Though some might think otherwise, these little girls are not book worms.  They simply don't spend hours in front of electronic devices... and spend the time that other children may use computers or whatnot READing!  Kat doesn't stick to harder reading material without some encouragement, but she's also only 5... and harder material is a book like Eragon!  She WANTS to like it because Ria and I enjoy the series so much, but it's difficult for her to wade through at this point.  I have heard her declaring quite a few times recently that she wants to be called Kate... interesting!

Tea is trying so hard to work and produce.  She's an amazingly hard worker for a 3 year old!  She is moving along in her efforts to learn to read.  She wants very much to do her handwriting class, but I'm holding her back because her hand-eye coordination is quite low and I know the frustration that would ensue (on both our parts).  Also, I know, from experience, that allowing my children to desire something for a while before I allow it creates a longer-lived effort/endurange in them.  So, she'll wait a while.  I'm impressed and have been quite surprised by what she is retaining!  She may be my earliest reader yet... if she has HER way!  ^_^  (Latest walker... earliest reader... hmmmm.)

All three girls have LOVED the painting project I've allowed them to begin and/or work on.  They have each created materpieces on our walls.  And Jmy has had his hand at coloring on the walls, too... he used crayon, but still!  This may sound odd, but it's an exciting project!  Each of our girls has been given some painting space, taped off, and they have went at it and created beautiful paintings right on our walls.  There are going to be a few more... and then they'll be framed by actual wood (if I have my way) and then a chair-rail will go up, rather high, between the paintings.  In my mind's eye it is wonderful... and what already IS is also wonderful!  ^_^

Jmy is wonderful. He's a sweet lil' guy.  He's usually happy and if he's not there is usually a VERY good reason for it!  ^_^  He's still nursing well and strongly, but he LOVES table food, too.  He's eating basically everything we eat (less peanut butter, eggs all by themselves, strawberries, and things like that which he may be sensitive to).  He LOVED the mixed greens and black-eyed peas we had for New Year's Day party.  He's on the verge of being a toddler.  He totally CAN walk, he just chooses NOT to for the most part!  It's so fun and funny to observe his efforts.  He walks well and confidently along things (cruising), but to take two steps away from something... u-uuuhh! no way!  He is also a very hard worker.  He likes to observe how things work (like the wheels that keep turning after being pushed slightly on his monster truck) and take things out (like folded clothes from drawers), and watch things fall (like when he drops something on purpose.  You know, all the wonderful sweet baby-learning things.  He's a smartie!

I'm doing well.  After the two illnesses in December... because of?... I fell off the daily exercise habit wagon.  :(  grrrr... Before that fall I started to stay up to see Jessie when he came home from work.  THAT was more because I was concerned for his job (again!) - our boss had threatened his position and I felt super-duper uneasy...  So, I was staying up at night to listen to and try to discern how our position was (firm or almost lost, etc - so I could prepare, at least mentally, for unemployment and the financial difficulties that would follow - should the worst come to pass).  Hopefully the reason for my concern is firmly behind us because I desire to regain the two steps I feel to have back-stepped (sleep and exercise)!  I also hope for continued improvement in our financial "house"!  I dislike how I've been feeling since I've been staying up late, not getting enough sleep, and not being able to exercise daily!

Life is good.  Even amid the trials, difficulties and muck of the journey... LIFE is GOOD.  I'm so grateful for my family, my life, and the favor I see the Lord let fall upon us!  God is Great!!!!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 22 - 28, 2011

Thursday, December 22, 2011:  I'm thankful for time as a family.  I'm grateful for productive afternoons and family time to work together!  I'm grateful for the smoked turkey (our turkey he brought to work) Jessie brought home.  YUM!!!

Friday, December 23, 2011:  I'm thankful for productive days with my children.  I'm grateful for actions that prove words.  I'm grateful for loyalty and familial love!

Saturday, December 24, 2011:  I'm thankful for the wonderful baptism with beautiful talks this morning!  I'm especially grateful for it because Ria and I (mostly Ria! with me as overseer) spent some time on Wed, Thursday, and Friday baking in preparation for this dear Sister's Baptism.  Ria has 'graduated' from her MUFFINS portion of her Baking Adult Skills Class!  ^_^  She (and I did help) made: cranberry sauce muffins, carrot muffins, applesauce muffins with cream cheese frosting, pumpkin muffins with cream cheese centers, sweet potatoe muffins with cream cheese centers, corn muffins, zucchini muffins, and I think there may have been another type, but I can't remember what!  hahaha ^_^  What a pleasure!  And what a joy to use some of my old Pampered Chef items to make a slightly pretty display of the food.  ^_^  We had so many left over, we were able to bring a gift of muffins to Jessie's work for the employees there.

I'm grateful for the blessing of having Jessie home for the evening.  The restaurant closed early.  I'm grateful for the gift opening time we enjoyed and the wonderful reactions and enjoyment of our children.  They each received three gifts; not very expensive, but they were WELL pleased with them!  Hopefully family pictures will follow soon... WalMart picture center, here we come!  ;)

Sunday, December 25, 2011:  I'm thankful for Jesus Christ and all He has done for us!

Monday, December 26, 2011:  I'm thankful for another illness?  Yep.  Just me this time.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011:  I'm thankful for indoor plumbing!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011:  I'm thankful for Jessie being home in the morning.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to rest while he was home.

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