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Wednesday, February 12, 2014

What the Heck Wednesday?

No, I'm not really planning to start another series... just thought that title was more appropriate than my normal one.

So, it's been a while since the "Strike of the pink-haired-woman" and I think I may be able to write about it reasonably now.  I sure hope so.

Have you ever met someone that thought the world was sour no matter how much sugar was actully in it?  I think this woman might be like that.  And I'm pretty sure I used to be a bit like that... so, given what we can learn from the Essene Mirrors, I needed to meet her so I could more completely see myself.

However, I believe, even at my worst, I have avoided speaking to children the way she spoke to my child.  Maybe I'm wrong.  The only way I can know that is if someone who has known me for a while tells me.  So, if there is such a person out there, please do let me know.  I ask that you be kind because I am tender-hearted, as much as folks seem to think otherwise.  I work hard to refrain from choosing to be offended, but I do feel hurt when folks are mean when they say things that are true.

So, it was two weeks ago that the pink-haired female passed our lil' shop at the Farmer's Market.  I'd seen her before, but I guess the girls had been engaged in greeting others.  We certainly didn't have an interaction before two weeks ago.

My eldest daughter greeted the pink-haired old woman just like she does most folks.  I think she actually said, "Hello, how are you today?" since the woman has super short died pink hair.  The woman turned and said, "Well what are you doing out of school?"  Ria said, "I homeschool!"  The woman with the pink hair said, "Well, that's what's wrong with you.  That's why you don't have social manners.  You need to go to school to get some social manners."

ummm.... REALLY?  That's a case of the pot calling the kettle black, dontcha think?  Not that I think she's correct about my child having no social manners.  In fact, the very fact that my daughter did not respond shows, at least to me, that she has a few manners more than that old woman.

I really did attempt to leave it be and let her pass by without saying anything.  The more I sat silently on, the more sick to my stomach I felt.  Especially when my girl looked at me like, "Why in the world would she say that me, Mom?"  She didn't speak the question, but it was heavy in her questioning looks my way.

As a result, I got up and went to the woman.  She was just about to walk away from another lady's shop, so I said, "If you actually stopped to talk with my child, you would find that she is very smart and sweet."  The woman turned and seemed a bit flustered.  She sorta asked what I meant.  I gestured to my child and said, "If you actually spoke with my child, you would find that she has social manners and then some."

The conversation was not good beyond that.  Basically, the old woman with the pink hair attempted to argue her point by changing her position numerous times.  I live with someone who argues that way... unfortunately for her.  As a result, I am very skilled at putting down new points while still sticking to the original.

Among her arguements, she told me that the world was a mean place and the children needed to go to school so they would learn how to deal with the mean world.  She told me that they had no social manners because they weren't exposed to society.  She told me that they couldn't be productive in society because they weren't gong to school.  She said that they were not learning how to socialize in the market, that they were only learning 'the hard sale'.

I did refute each point well, but she is entrenched in her fallacious position and so determined to protect her incorrect assumptions that she couldn't respond to my logic and, thus, presented increasingly nonsensical positions.

Why in the world would parents put children in school to be treated poorly?  I mean, really?  The world will be mean to them as it will... they don't need tons of experience with that to learn how to deal with it!  You just learn as you go no matter how old.  At least, if they are able to be protected and sheltered from the nastiness of the world they might end up with a more unshakeable hope!  Maybe not, but it's possible!

As my husband said, "Why in the world would you take a child out of society to learn how to be part of society??  They are IN society, learning how to interact with people of all ages.  She doesn't know what she's talking about."  I completely agree with him.

Regarding productivity in society... hmmm... so, teaching them how to work in sales, how to interact with people in a genuine manner while hoping they appreciate your product enough to buy it... teaching them how to understand unspoken (body) language and interact with people in a way that is mindful of their desires... all that is contributing to what?  A totally unproductive member of society, apparently.

Selling, if you are an entreprenuer, is part of socializing.  Business owners are who they are and they have something they hope others might appreciate/like/want.  It is what it is.  That doesn't mean that when we speak to someone who only care about whether they want to buy a Flexi or not.

In fact, I have come to believe that this business (Lilla Rose) is in my life to get me out into the world.  I'm a BIG home-person.  I would rather be at home than anywhere else MOST of the time.  However, as a Christian, I should be out and about sharing the Light of Christ with all I meet.  Well, going to the market, I'm in a position to do that.  I believe that's why Father led me to this business.

Each morning before we go into the market, the girls and I have a prayer that Father will bless our efforts and help us know what we need to do and say and if there is someone that needs us especially.  We ask Father to help us shine forth the Light of Christ.  Going to the market is first about doing what Heavenly Father would have us do.  We hope that while we are about our Father's work, we will sell some hair jewelry because we could really use the money... but that is not the first or primary focus.

I would like to add, a point I did convey the the little old woman with pink hair.  I'm relatively sure she didn't hear me.  If she did, she knew she didn't have an apporpriate logical arguement because she changed her aguement again after I said, "School is not a normal socializing environment.  It is not normal, anywhere in life, to socialize with those who are mostly and/or only within 10 months of your age.

The way my children interact with others is much more like real life, in that they socialize with people of all ages."  Homeschooling really does offer many more opportunities for normal socialization.  Sometimes, as the parent/teacher, we have to seek out additional opportunities to socialize, but when there are many children, it's amazing how much social-manners education goes on EVERY day.  And it's normal socialization (interacting with many ages!), not the weird concoction that is public school.

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