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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Sunday, July 20, 2008

The Need For...

Kat has had a number of accidents in the last few days, but she's still progressing pretty quickly in her potty training. She actually does REALLY well at telling us she needs to use the potty when she's actually wearing a diaper. The trouble is, if she's in clothing she can take off, she pretty much does and then the diaper is off, too. After 3 accidents, she's in a diaper and a onsey-type outfit and then she tells me really well when she needs to pee. The pooh is pretty okay, though she did have an accident with that one the other day.

Oh, and she tried to strip at church today! UGH! I'm glad I was in nursery as a helper because she probably would have been able to otherwise. And the worst part was her timing... at the end when all the parents are picking up their little ones. It would have been really funny, but totally unacceptable to Mama.

Dress Up
I swear Ria NEEDS to dress up! I actually told her I would take her dress up clothes away if she put on another dress up dress one particular day that she wasn't being obedient about lots of things and I'd already told her not to wear the dress up things. Well, she put another dress up outfit on - so they were ALL taken away. She didn't have them for 4 or 5 days, but each day she was still dressed up! No, she didn't sneak the dress up clothes, THANKFULLY! However, her favorite derss up attire consisted of whatever she was given to wear (preferably a dress!) and then a baby blanket tied around her shoulders or under her arms and a hat of some sort (like her princess hat or Daddy's South Park hat). She even managed to find a necklace that was not confiscated and wore that a bunch. When asked about her attire, she explained that she was a princess or a mermaid or some such character which would, of course, need something to CREATE the image other than just her own clothing. :) Pretty funny... very sweet, to me!

Books books everywhere. Seriously! Ria takes books on our walks, there are books in the van, when we borrowed the car she brought books in it the couple of times she actually rode in it. This morning Ria read most of one of the Cat in The Hat books on the way to church. It's amazing how much I heard that I don't remember reading (even though I've read the book about a zillion times) as I listened to her read.

Her fluency is really amazing! I'm super impressed and feel pretty confident in saying that, for the most part, her reading ability AND comprehension levels are solidly in the first grade level.

Today I was actually asked, by a sister in my Ward who I really like, about the book I've used to teach Ria. She heard about it from a lady in the community with whom I shared the title. The funny thing about THAT is that the lady, Shannon, actually told me she really wasn't interested because she was already using something that she really liked and was working for them. I shared anyway because I love speaking to other parents who are interested in taking an active role in their children's education at home and she subsequently checked it out and has been sharing it all over town! I've actually told some people about it and they told me they heard about it from her! Those people have no idea that it originated with me, but it's SUCH a pleasure to know that I'm spreading A good word and getting some active parenting going! ^_^ Isn't that awesome?

I was really excited to talk to the sister who asked about our reading book. She was pretty interested and we had a lovely conversation about teaching reading and reading comprehension! It's really WONDERFUL to teach! I miss it and wish for opportunities to actively teach people who are truly interested. I think I will someday return to educating others as a profession... but I'll have to get my doctorate first because I think I will not be okay with any level other than college (and high level at that). We'll see. Time will tell. Perhaps there is some way I can teach now, on a larger sort of scale, that I don't know about yet. :) Or, perhaps, I'm meant, in this season, to simply share what I can where there is interest. My difficulty with that lies in the problem I have with discerning between active interest and idle curiosity. Like another lady I really like at church asked me about why we don't do ultrasound and I explained a little and she commented and I explained more. Long story... long... she basically didn't want to hear the truth as I perceive it, she was just idly curious. Ya know? anyway... Another skill set to work on!

This trimester is often characterized by nesting. It is my natural tendency, I believe, to be in that phase (at least based on the last two). Unfortunately my last nesting phase was disturbed by the fact that I had to PACK not just organize, and plan, and clean the corners of my home with a toothbrush.... I fear the same may happen (or should be happening already) again. I haven't yet started packing, though I feel like I should have by now. How annoying!

I have, however, received yet more pressure from my husband about the order of the home. Keep in mind, after the last blow up we had about it I have kept the living room, dining room, kitchen, hallway, and even Ria's room practically spotless. No, SERIOUSLY! I have been in process in our bedroom and trying to get the energy and feel the motivation to focus on the laundry room (where most of our books are kept). So, what does Jess poke at me about (in a rather not so nice way)? The closet in our bedroom, the laundry room, Ria's toys in her room/closet, and the garage! :( I'm very frustrated, even now (two days later) about it. I tackled Ria's toys yesterday (with her) instead of doing school... which has been a regular occurrence here lately. Instead of school I'm cleaning... Instead of school I'm taking care of laundry. Instead of school I'm washing dishes and getting things cleared off counters.... It's getting absolutely ridiculous. I mean, I like having a clean home just like the next person, but for me the priority is getting the rest that this ridiculous belly requires and taking care of the girls ESPECIALLY the education I have planned for them.

The main problem, I believe, lies in the unrealistic picture of life that husbands often have of what occurs when they are absent. Additionally, there are the little things that they add to the daily burden... not putting one thing away... not taking care of another thing they are either responsible for or asked to do. It's just very frustrating to me because I am so VERY tired and he seems so completely unwilling to understand the issues I was raised with and how they impact our lives. And there was a time, not so distant, when he told me that he felt one thing we BOTH needed to work on was acceptance of one another. I took that TOTALLY seriously and have REALLY worked on that and I feel like he's said it for only my benefit. Like he's the freakin' goose, or something!

I mean, if I have to choose (WHICH I DO because otherwise I'm just going CRAZY!) I would rather NOT pass on the anger issues of my upbringing and try to help my children deal with clutter as adults than feel sorrow over their struggles with yelling, spanking, and feeling generally angry all the time as adults!! Since the big blow out about a month ago I have spanked, I have yelled, and I have been generally angry SO much more than I was when I was trying NOT to care about the house so much. I'm just frustrated!!! Complicated, I'm sure my my need for:


I haven't been able to go for a walk for the last two days. The weather was dreary and drippy both Friday AND Saturday, but yesterday my back was horribly painful after working on the toys. So, no walks! I feel like my body is falling apart as a result. It's probably also due to the back pain caused by yesterday... but I'm absolutely sure that the non-walking and less good movement of the past two days is totally NOT helping. On top of the body feeling CRUDDY, I also feel like I'm WAY less able to deal with the whining and fussing that inevitably comes from my girls at various times of the day. So, I DEFINITELY feel the need for a walk! I try to refrain on Sundays, but I think it's definitely a need and will benefit me AND my family if I take care of myself in this way. So, we're going for a short one in a little while.

DINNER TIME must run.

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