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First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

A Light Bulb Moment?

So, I wanted to write about this before, but forgot and then didn't have time. But I made mention in the last post about the two times Jess became pretty aggitated since he's become a non-smoker. Well, one of them is kind of funny to me, a SAHM (stay at home mom).

Okay, so Saturday (the one just past) Jess took BOTH of the girls to the grocery store to get a few items. This was a pretty short list. I would say about 1/4 the length of my norm because I didn't want to spend as much money as I had been and I wanted to be kind to Jessie. ;)

Well, they were gone for at least 2 hours, which is pretty normal because Walmart is about 30 minutes away. When Jess came home he was obviously aggravated and he made short mention of the difficulty of dealing wtih the girls while shopping. I've learned how to sort of let Jess cool down, so I did for a little while. I guess the time I let him alone was not quite long enough OR he was stewing. Either way, it doesn't much matter, really.

The point is that when I went over to talk to him he was REALLY snappy and mean (relative to Jessie normally). I asked him if he wanted to tell me abouthis trip with the girls and he snapped about just wanting to be left alone. There was another exchange, I was trying to change the subject, but continue to interact with him and he got REALLY snappy with me.

I stopped the snappish comment before he finished it and asked if he was upset with me. And he just went off about how Ria acted in the grocery store and how he was still frustrated about how it was to shop with both of them. I responded, "Welcome to my life!" He didn't really say anything for a minute, but when he did talk again he was snappy at ME for being in the way or something. So I got right back at him and told him that I could completely understand his aggravation, but that I (TORI) had not done anything to him, so he owed me an appology because I was only trying to spend time with him. I also made mention of the difficulty of not treating our partner poorly when the kids are frustrating, but that I'd been striving to make theat differentiation, so I deserved the same consideration in return. Then, I walked away.

Ria tried to do something with me and I asked her to leave me alone to use the potty by myself because I didn't want to snap at HER for the way her Daddy was acting. When I came back I went back to what I'd been doing and interacted with Jess like normal. It took about 5 minutes, but he did appologize for snapping at me and he did see that he wasn't behaving kindly toward me. YEAY!!!!

I so very much hope that Jess had a light bulb moment. There is really no way for a SAHM to explain the mundane frustrations of life at home with the children to the hubbie who isn't there much. But the best lessons are those learned under fire, I think... and the girls definitely had Daddy cookin' in the grocery store! ;) heeheehee

Anyway. I look forward to the week (at least one that I like to think of as DADDY BOOT CAMP) Jess will be home after the Baby's birth because he's going to get to do all of my jobs AND take care of the girls for that first week! My midwife is adamant that I have one week to do nothing but rest. I'm actually really looking forward to it. I think this will be the first time, in my life, that I will have such an experience (other than the times it has happened unplanned due to depression... but I can guarantee that those were NOT restful OR enjoyable times of doing nothing!!!). I'm excited to hear his frustrations (the ones I feel daily) and try to give him pointers, the way he does now. (Is that totally sick??) Of course, my pointers will be tried and true.... ^_^ Should be interesting!

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