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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Anxiety Decrease and a Talk With Sage

If you couldn't tell already, my entries here are pretty much about my obsessions and our daily activities. I mentioned a couple times already my anxiety about our food storage situation. Well, today I made a purchase of some things for our supply that has decreased my anxiety a little. The items I purchased are not the staples, but since we have lived off our food storage exclusively for a month and almost exclusively for MANY months, I know that these "extras" will keep me feeling a little more normal. That's SUCH a huge thing when trouble hits the fan... at least for me! I found this site MANY MANY moons ago and revisited it since the anxiety hit a few weeks ago. I made my anxiety decreasing purchase from this site and HIGHLY recommend it! http://internet-grocer.net/ They have the basics, of course, but they also have a wide variety of extras I haven't found elsewhere. In particular, I haven't found the canned cheese or butter elsewhere. And while I have seen canned meats elsewhere, they never sound as appealing as the developers of this site make theirs sound. Also, REAL SALT is a pretty big deal. I know there are lots of places to buy it, bt I felt like the price here was quite good. Jess is going to check on his prices and I'll let yall know how they compare (assuming I can remember!).

Joy School this morning at "our" little playground near the library. It was really nice! Sage was there with her girls and another sister from the ward came. I was so happy about that!! :) We had a really nice time visiting and chatting and the kiddos LOVED their playtime. So, basically, Joy School has become a "Morning at the Park." Mostly it's evolved to this because we wanted to welcome younger children (and parents), but also because it's less stress for Sage and me and the girls (our most regular attenders) just love playing together!

Sage brought me home (the whole two blocks). I felt so lame accepting the ride, but it was SO sunny and hot. I already had a bit of pink, so I'm sure I would have ended up with a GOOD burn had I walked the girls home. And Ria is wearing a long-sleeved dress today. She doesn't care about the heat, she says... and I warn her not to complain because she's made the choice. BUT I can't help but feel concern when her cheeks are really pink and she's not drinking enough water. *sigh* What to do! I'm trying to help her/let her learn from her choices rather than strong arm her.

Sage let me borrow her FHE book (TOTALLY going to buy one for myself!!) and I was reading the dark section yesterday and just bawling. Actually, the tears were flowing, but I was not audibly crying because I didn't want the girls to know I was upset. They were playing SO nicely. I was so upset because I've been feeling more and more that I'm doing things the wrong way as a Mama and the things I was reading was just sort of confirming it. :( So, I'm striving to make some pretty significant changes. And, as we all know, change is so totally NOT easy. Especially if there are others involved. I totally understand! I mean, even though the way I have been has not been as wonderful as I should be it's what Ria is used to. So, she's resisting my change. I just have to endure... to the end. And WHAT a challenge! Perhaps THE challenge of life, right? ahwell

That last bit was not where I was planning to go, but anyway! Back to my initial "TRAIN" of thought: I put my stroller into the back of Sage's van and noticed some rice. I asked her a question and that got us talking about food storage and the food issues in the news. I think I have expressed my deep admiration for this lady before. She is the mother of 6 and completely plans to have more. She, herself, is the second child (I think) in a family of 10. And she is just an AMAZING Mother!!! I mean, gosh... I hope I can grow up to be like her!! She's also a return missionary, which should give you a good idea of how spiritually mature (etc) she is. I think her name is just perfect for her. Not only is she wise (like a Sage), but she's also neat and interesting and just really cool (like a spice in life!). Anyway, I was able to share with her this really great guide for buying food storage from the grocery store. It's a monthly guide and by the end of the year you'll have around a year supply of most of things. Some things are higher and others lower. Basically, from our conversation, I felt a confirmation of the urge I feel to compile our "legal limit" of a 3 month supply for each person in my family. So, the rest of our tax return (after the purchase made today) will be spent at the grocery store and on air-tight storage containers for food storage.

I highly recommend http://www.beprepared.com/ for really good gallon buckets, air-tight lids, and metalized bags (though I don't have a sealer... there ARE some for sale on http://providentliving.org/ I believe is the name of the site. I know for sure, as of today, that if you go to http://www.lds.org/ and look on the front page for the bit about home storage you can jump to the correct catalog pages that include a sealer! It's pretty expensive, but you could make it a sort of community purchase! I would love (AND HOPE) to do that. Of course, you could also use the church storehouse OR possibly borrow one FROM the Bishop's storehouse. The info is pretty easily available on the providentliving site. Anyway... I'm going to stop rambling about my current obsession and CATCH YA LATER! :)

1 comment:

Heidi said...

We all have our moments as mothers where we stop and think, "I shouldn't have said that" or "That was a little harsh of me." Look at your blog and all of the things you do for your girls! You spend a lot of quality time with them. They are going to look back on their childhoods and remember all of these great times. When I think back to my childhood, all I can remember are the really great experiences I had and the really bad ones. The ones in between are all lost somewhere in my head.

You are a great mother! If there are things you want to change, then work on changing them while you recognize that you are a wonderful mother. If you have to, tell yourself this every morning in the mirror. Or, tell yourself, "I am doing the best I can right now." Also, I have learned the importance of being willing to apologize to my children when an apology is owed.

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