THANK YOU so much for thinking about us, worrying about us, and praying for us. I KNOW that your thoughts and prayers have helped and even sustained us (me!). I went from extremely depressed and totally giving up on myself on Tuesday (after the ultrasound and subsequent talk with Karen), to peaceful, hopeful, and assured by Thursday morning when I went into labor (again) naturally.
Just so you don't have to read the whole labor story if you don't want to, I'll share with you our daughter's birth stats right away. The labor story will be told completely for my own record as well as to share with the you (as you're interested) the wonderful tale. ^_^
Our Daughter's Stats
Our little girl was born at 10:36pm.
Her name is Theresa Diane Gollihugh. We are calling her Tea (pronounced like Ria). ^_^
She is 21 and 3/4 inches long.
Her head is 15 and 3/4 inches around AND my midwife never felt sutures (which form when the bones of the skull overlap as they are made to do). That means that Tea's head wasn't much smaller than normal through the birth canal, though it probably closed over the fontanels during the trip through the canal... her head was totally round as soon as she was out!
She weighed in at 10 pounds 4 ounces, which is more than 12 ounces less than the ultrasound predicted!!!! Darn ultrasounds... and if you know me, I'm sure you can imagine I would like to add some stronger language, but am trying to be Christlike!
Comparison Reference Info you may find interesting to think about as you read THE STORY
Just for comparison/reference purposes, Ria was 8 poounds 4 ounces and Kat was 9 pounds 8 ounces. I pushed Ria out in 13 minutes while it took about 45 minutes to get Kat out. Labor with Ria was 21.5 hours from the very first to the delivery. With Kat it was right at 48 hours, with a few hours break during the first night, during which time I was able to sleep. With both of my first two labors I didn't eat much at all, IF at all from the time I started labor until the end. I vomited with both of them. I wasn't able to drink much water because it made me feel queasy even more... Very exhausting to not drink or eat!!
THE LABOR STORY and it IS long... just warning ya!
Because I'd had so many "false starts" with labor, and we'd already had a plan to see Karen on Thursday about some natural inductions, we did go to her office for 1:30pm on Thursday afternoon. Natural labor did stall after I started the homeopathics, but I was 4cm so it started back up quite easily with the remedy Karen gave me. Though I was in labor, it wasn't terribly taxing, so I don't count Thursday as a day or labor, really, because I don't think the labor produced much effect at that point. That night I didn't sleep much because I woke up regularly to pee and decided to keep taking the homeopathic remedy through the night in hopes of helping labor along more quickly.
Friday was a lot more active, but still not taxing the way heavy labor is. I know there was some effective work done on Friday, but not a huge amount. That night Jess worked at the club for a few hours, which was quite stressful for me... but we made it through. We had a "date night" and watched Cruso (not sure about the spelling, but it's a new show on Prime Time, though we watched it online) because we figured it would be the last chance to do so without a babe in arms. We both slept about 3 good hours.
Saturday morning I dreamed of experiencing contractions and having full-on labor and awakened at 5am to some! I timed them and felt assurance that this was the day. The contractions were lasting about 1.5 minutes with 4 minutes from start of one to start of another, which was awesome to me because that's when Karen told us to call her to come out to us. I was hopeful that this would be a faster labor than either of my first two, so called her with the info after I'd had the contractions going for an hour that I was aware of. She lives in DeLand, which is about an hour away, so she arrived around 7:15am. Everything was good when she arrived. I was dilated to a 4 or 5 on the outside part of the cervix, but the inside was only ONE centimeter and the baby was still very high! I was bummed, but figured things could go quickly since she could actually feel the inside part of the cervix (she'd not been able to previously).
I'd called my dear friend Sage soon after I spoke to Karen. Sage had offered to help me with my girls during the labor, many months ago. I was a naked birther for my first two labors and deliveries, so I'd been really troubling over who I could feel comfy asking to attend to my oldest daughters while I was labor. I wanted me children to be present to witness the birth (as Ria did Kat's). It would have to be someone I could feel comfy looking at after she'd seen me in all my naked "glory." She would have to be someone I could feel trust in the idea that she would not represent me unkindly to others afterward.
After just the first Sunday of seeing Sage and observing her with her children, I knew I wanted to know her and, hopefully, be friends with her... I was blessed tremendously to have the opportunity to forge a wonderful friendship with her as our daughters (both Victorias!) played together for Joy School. When she made the offer to take care of my daughters during my labor, I felt this HUGE surge of joy and thanksgiving and almost immediately accepted her offer. My delayed acceptance was due to my concern over the fact that she might have a difficult time leaving her baby (who is 20 months old now and still a nursling, which, if you know me, I TOTALLY love and aprrove of and think VERY highly of!!).
While talking to Sage there was some concern over her schedule for the day and some illness in her family recently and, basically, the conversation ended and I was going to call my visiting teacher (who I also felt comfy with because she's VERY beliving in natural living and so-forth). I didn't call Judy, my visiting teacher, right away because she lives closer to where we are and I knew it wouldn't take her as long to get to us. Before I made the call to Judy, Sage called me back and let me know that if I still wanted her, she could come out to us. YEAY! Of course I still wanted her!!! No matter how much I may love any of my friends (and Judy is definitely one!) a first choice is still a first choice, ya know! :)
Sage arrived around 8:30am (I think... my time reference could be a bit off through much of this story... it's approximates). When she came in, we were blown away because she was carrying at least 4 grocery bags and 2 Burger King bags! She relayed the idea that she just wanted to try to make the waiting special for the girls and had brought treats to help to that end. And boy, did she bring treats! She brought Mama/baby of almost everything. A huge box of goldfish, indivudual bags of goldfish; regular bananas, tiny bananas; muffins; and large juice boxes & small juice boxes! Burger King was breakfast for the Gollihughs! She also brought a box full of breakfast sausages to keep in the freezer, crustables, and a bowl of prepared fruit! Isn't that amazing? We felt overwhelmed and tremendously appreciative... touched and deeply grateful for her compassion, thoughtfulness, generosity, and love!
Ria was awake already and Kat awakened very soon after Sage arrived. Sage took over with the girls right away and kept the girls away from me during contractions, which were pretty intense already at that point, though still around 4-5 minutes apart. Sage did reading class with Ria and the three of them headed off to watch a movie.
It was around 10:30am that Karen checked me again to discover that I'd gone from a 1cm to 4/5cm on the inner cervix! YEAY!
Jess and I went for a walk to the beach so I could climb the stairs in hopes of helping the baby descend. Her head was above a 0, which is not such a good thing because it takes longer for the cervix to develop without the pressure of the head on it. We also completed a walk around our block. Although the exertion was minimal, I was sweating profusely and felt a bit tired when we arrived home. I took a shower.
By around 11:30am, soon after my shower, the contractions were petering out and I was feeling REALLY tired. :( I felt like I really needed a nap and conveyed that idea to Karen, who suggested that I could consider the idea of asking Sage to take our girls to her house so I could have some quiet time to nap and Sage could get to and attend to Mary. Sage had previously expressed some concern over being away from Mary too long, which was totally understandable to me. Sage was happy to oblige and BOTH of my daughters headed away from me with my dear friend. I'm not absolutely sure... there may have been another time that Sage took both of them, but if she did, it was for only a couple hours. I know Sage has taken Ria a couple times, but I'm pretty sure this was the first time Ria AND Kat left me. It really was a huge blessing. (I labored through the night with Kat, so Ria wasn't distracting or anything for the majority of that experience.)
I did head off for a nap (Jess, too, of course). Contractions completely stopped. (Had I been in hospital for this sort of thing, this would have been labeled "failure to progress" and I would have been put on pitocin!) I was able to actually SLEEP for about an hour, which was a deep, real, energizing, and renewing sleep (unlike a few other nights this past week!).
I awakened to realize that the contractions had truly stopped and felt sad, frustrated, and depressed. I was praying and crying over it when Karen returned. She'd taken the time for a break as well (as she should!). I began nipple stimulation almost immediately and contractions started soon thereafter. Karen again started me on the homeopathics and labor was well on it's way again within an hour.
After the nap (can't remember how soon) I was up to 6cm dilated and 90% effaced, which is totally good, but not as far along as I'd hoped, of course. (I, obviously, still need to work on my patience... I think that's one very possible HUGE lesson my long labors are meant to help me with, don't you?)
Another few hours and I was 7cm.
Another couple hours and I was feeling really weepy over the duration of everything. I do want to add, just because it's a HUGE differnce in this labor from the others, that I'd been drinking lots of water AND eating bit by bit here and there through the whole day! I felt queasy a few times, but after burping I was totally cool. No barfy-butt stuff!!
It was after around 5+ hours from the time that Ria and Kat left that I began to feel this surging sadness over being away from my girls for so long... I missed them TONS!!! I wanted to hold them in between contractions, but I knew I would get frustrated over the distraction of them during contractions. AND to make things even more upsetting, frustrating, and depressing for me, I'd hoped we would have the baby in time for Jess to take the girls to our Ward's Trunk or Treat party (6:30pm last night). Sage took them and they had a BLAST! Sage also took our girls to the McDonald's and a grocery store, at some point during their day together. Ria told me they had some food (MikkyD's), ice cream treats, and soda (all of which are HUGE and rare treats for both our girls, but were facts shared with great joy, secrecy, and almost reverence by Ria to me! ^_^). Sage had conveyed her desire to make the day special for Ria and Kat... and BOY did she do a BANG-UP job!!!! :) I think that Sage is a most precious angel-friend!!! I'm so grateful for ALL the angels in our lives... know that, if you were praying for us and/or wishing us well, YOU are among the angels who have blessed us!!!
If you haven't experienced labor, you may think I'm nuts...but in labor MANY women experience the full range of human emotion. I'm DEFINITELY one of those... perhaps to the extreme. Even worse, because I have a difficult time removing my mind from the experience, I go through a full-range of thoughts on the situation, what I should do, how I should do it, what the baby is doing, how I can influence it... I could go on and on AND on! It's detrimental in many ways, but I know I'm not the only one like me. Anyway... that's just a little rant about myself and something I feel I need to change. :)
A Bit About Jess
I've not written much about Jess because I'm going to ask him to write the birth story from HIS perspective and share it in my blog, for you to read! I think he'll do it since he asked for my password last night 'cause he was planning to share some info himself! HA!!! I wasn't having that since this is MY "world". But his perspective is very different (obviously) and I would like to see it more clearly myself! ^_^ So, I'm not going to write what I think he was going through and such, but I do want to share that my sweet husband has COMPLETELY changed from our first birth experience to this one. When we had Ria... it was and should have been truly described as TORI went into labor and birthed Ria. (As opposed to the common description young lovers use of "our" for everything, including labor and delivry.) Jess was present for the whole thing in body, but he didn't DO anything beyond stand near me and pet me, which I fussed at him to stop regularly. I'm VERY easily overstimulated during heavy labor and much of any touching is very difficult for me/on my skin. Weird? True, though! The problem with Jessie's lack of DOing, for me, was that we'd regularly attended birth class together AND practiced partner led relaxation techniques and then he didn't do ANY of the things we'd learned or practiced! I was so bummed about it, felt WAY let down, and (yes, unreasonably) MAD about it for a LONG while afterward.
With Kat I knew, as a result of the experience of Ria's birth, that I had to tell Jess exactly what I needed. I did and it was all right. I was still sad that he wasn't as attentive as I wanted... he slept a LOT during the whole process!!! THIS time, though... OH MY GOODNESS!!! Can you say, "A changed man!??" Well, if you think you can, DO... because THAT is what I experienced! I feel all teary-eyed and full of gratitude and thanksgiving over the man who attended me as I worked to bring our child into the world!!!
Truly the process of labor to bring Tea into this world was a joint partnership between my Jessie and me! While I labored in a less mobile, less "doing" way, Jess was ever present, working in our home to prepare things, clean things, keep things moving and as everything progressed he sat with me (reading a book to stay awake during the less intense hours) and he held my hand tightly (which is the best and almost only physical touch I can tolerate during contractions) when I needed him. There were times when he wasn't right next to me and a contraction would start and then he was there and I knew that he knew I needed him. MANY fewer times (this go round) did I have a need to call out to him because he was already THERE for me!!! He was awake (physically, mentally, and emotionally) through the WHOLE thing (except for our nap time, of course) and he was present and attentive to me AND DOING anything he could for me! I feel such thanksgiving and gratitude for the partner he is for me!!!!
STILL ABOUT JESSIE
The miracles of prayer and potatoes
I experienced two things that I do not lightly name miracles during this experience of labor WE went through together, my Jessie and me. You can laugh all you want, but the first I'll share is about potatoes. Jess fed me as much as he could yesterday. He regularly suggested things and prepared them in due haste (even though he knew I couldn't eat them quickly, or even immediately) and presented them to me to eat ever-so-slowly (because that's how I've been eating everything for the past 1.5 weeks of feeling almost constantly queasy).
At one point Jess popped out this idea of making some mashed potatoes the way he'd made them the other night. I thought it sounded like something I could eat later, so he made them. I heard him share the info with Karen and she was very pleased because the calories would be very good for me. Did you know, women burn at least 200 calories during every hour of JUST labor (not including walking and other activities)? I was happy to hear she was so pleased, but wondered if I would be able to eat it. RIGHT when Jess brought me the mashed potatoes with a HUGE puddle of butter in them, I felt absolutely famished! I didn't eat them quickly, and I couldn't finish the whole bowl, but they were there right when I needed them. Why a miracle? During the whole last week and a half, if I didn't eat right when I was hungry, I would get really queasy and even go into dry heaves sometimes!! Not a pleasant experience with a huge preggie belly, I have to tell you! So, to me, the mashed potatoes were a huge indication of my husband receiving AND acting on revelation on my behalf! WHAT A BLESSING!!! The miracle of the potatoes is very precious to me! Laugh if you want, but it's HUGE to me!
Then there's the miracle of prayers. If you laugh at this one... I would have to say you might be a little sick because it's not funny. Seriously, it's not meant to be funny at all. Jess has recently begun (within the last 9 month to a year) to pray for our family prayers and such. That development was wonderful and precious to me. Even more recently he has begun to pray formally, which, to me, means using THEEs and THYs to adress Heavenly Father. For me, this a hugely important and is almost equally as precious as Jess praying at all! Well... yesterday my Jessie suggested we pray, offered to say the prayers, and said some of the most beautiful prayers for/over/with me and our baby MULTIPLE TIMES.... I feel all weepy thinking about it because I remember a few years ago just aching that my husband would pray over something with me and he wouldn't. And now he's suggesting we pray AND saying the most sweet, thorough, insightful prayers!!! He is an amazing man and a tremendous blessing to me and our girls!!! So, that's the miracle of prayer that I experience with Jess yesterday. On top of the fact of his prayerfulness, I want to share that each aspect of his requests was granted! Isn't that a bunch of miracles all tied together by the miracle of my husband praying!??!! I'm so grateful, what more can I say!??
Back to Labor Land
I think I finally hit 7cm by around 6pm. 7 is considered entering transition, which, I will add, is also entering in through the gates of hell on earth... whether you do it fast or slow, it's rough going! Unfortunately, transition lasted a FEW hours this time around!!! At least I didn't go through it a FEW TIMES this time as I did with Kat!!! UGH!
Andrea, our midwife's assistant, arrived a little bit before I hit the hard stuff, so I was able to speak with her a little bit. Jess had previously prepared a roast, which was actually uncut Rib Eye steaks! Karen, Jess, and I had already eaten some so Jess served Andrea a steak and some potatoes. Lucky ladies, aren't we?
Transition began shortly thereafter. I can't begin to properly explain that part of labor. It's different for everyone. I got the shakes really baddly at one point. The shakes lasted until I got into the birth tub, which Jess had prepared for me (which required bleaching the hose, filling it with water, as well as boiling water to complete the filling process). The tub helped a lot with pain management during transition, I think, but I wasn't able to birth in it because it was way too hot for me. When I chose to get out, I was 9cm dilated... YEAY! That was probably around 9:55pm-ish. It took, what seemed like forever to me, just a little while (until around 10:20pm) to get almost all the way to 10... I had a front lip that Andrea helped me get rid of during some pushes prior to pushing with all my might (the effort to push a baby out).
Believe it or not, it only took me 16 minutes of pushing like you're trying to get a baby out, to get my baby out! Consider the size of her head when you look at that length of time, if you would, please. Can you say, "She-Ra?" heeheehee ;) I felt and still feel super accomplished about the whole shebang, but, perhaps, especially about that pushing time - considering the baby's head size, especially. One thing that natural childbirth is good for, in my opinion, (perhaps even more the kind of LONG labors I have had) is that it teaches you exactly what you're made of!!! Would I prefer the lesson in another format? Probably... surely... if I could, but it's a tremendously worthwhile lesson, all the same!
My pushing this time was really low again... like when I pushed Ria out. I was actually able to do it WELL, unlike when pushing Kat out. The unfortunate side effect of both good efforts are these strange little red dots all over my face and neck. Broken capillaries or something, I suppose. I think my pushing SO hard with Ria was sort of overkill, in a way (I pushed her out in 13 minutes), but with Kat it was necessary because she was experiencing late decelerations and Karen was really verbally pushing me to work as hard as I could to get the baby out. Understandable under the circumstances: the expected size of the baby (including HUGE head and supposedly more than 11 pounds of baby, according to the ultrasound) added fervor to Karen's commands.
Almost immediately upon actually beginning to push Tea was crowning. WooHOO!!! So Karen called out to Sage that if they wanted to see anything, now was the time. I know they came, but things are very hazy in my memory for that period of time. The one distinct memory I have is of Kat standing in a place that I could actually see her and looking on with wise, wide, eyes and looking very serene and slightly excited. Both girls were completely cool with what they saw. Neither of them freaked out or ran away crying, "Baby go back" (as Ria did when she saw Kat's birth)! I think it was hugely beneficial to have the birth pictures of Kat's birth to share with the girls... it seems that the whole experience was somehow familiar to them as a result. What a blessing! And there can be no question in their minds that this new little person belongs in our family because they've seen exactly how she entered it! ^_^ One of the multitude of blessings I call HOMEBIRTH!
Another believe it or not for ya... While Tea's head is 15.75 inches around and I did tear, only TWO sutures were required to patch me up. No crazy rippage. No rip through the bum. No longer-term healing required! What a blessing!! And Karen was very impressed with my healthy perennial tissues. Happy to know it, aren't ya!? ;)
Jessie Continues to Blow Me Away
After the birth I sat with the baby and tried to stop shaking. Almost immediately Jessie resumed his physical DOing by breaking down the birth tub. Then he ended up with this huge mess in our laundry room because our washing machine totally flooded it... it's slightly temperamental! He said goodbye to everyone as a good host. He made some phone calls to share the news (only our parents because it was around 2am by then!). By then he still was pretty wound up, so he couldn't go to sleep (plus he'd not had any cigs all day because I couldn't tolerate the smell or his absence from me for that long, so he had to get his fix).
Today, he got up with Ria and Kat and occupied them quietly while Tea and I slept until somewhere around noon. I'd like to note that Jess got to sleep by 3am-ish, while I couldn't sleep until sometime after 5am because Tea stuck true to her uterine schedule of GREAT activity from about 2am until sometime right around 5am! So, although I did get more sleep, it wasn't by as much as if I'd been able to sleep when he did. And of course, it wasn't solid sleep anyway, because Tea nursed regularly through the time we were "sleeping". But what a service that my husband willingly took over with our elder daughters!
Upon waking, he presented breakfast, made sure I had water, took care of Tea so I could use the bathroom (still a long drawn out process as a result of the muscle pain and lochia), got me more to eat because I was still REALLY hungry and welcomed our first visitors (Mary Kat and Tim... Remember they live in our town. They served us tremendously on Saturday night by walking our girls around to trick or treat at the Trunk or Treat Ward Social so that Sage could spend the time with her own children!! Such sweet consideration! And Ria and Kat just love BOTH of them!!)! Soon after Tim and Mary Kay departed Judy, one of my visiting teachers, arrived and visited for a short bit. Leslie is out of town, otherwise I know she would have come by as well because they are both AMAZING, thoughtful, concerned, and loving friends and visiting teachers! That ended our visitors for the day, sort of. Mary Kay and Tim came by again to bring us dinner!! I heard them and was totally up and about for many hours by then, so came out wearing Tea in my sling when I heard, as I approached, Mary Kay asking Jess how I was doing. She was VERY surprised to see me walking around and looking so much better! :) One of the HUGE benefits of natural childbirth: REALLY fast recovery time, usually! Jess was the main host during all of these exchanges.
He also dealt with the girls, for the most part, most of the night. No easy task with the large and small revolts they each conducted once Tea and I were actively on the scene. Ria was definitely having a more difficult time, but I think that's more because she had less sleep than because she's actually going to have the most difficult time overall. Honestly, I really believe they are going to adjust beautfiully to having a new sister. The both adore her already. They want to hold her ALL the time... and when they have her, no amount of time, thus far, has been long enough! And, just as a frame of reference, Kat has held her for more than 5 minutes at a go!!!! No, SERIOUSLY! Amazing, right?
Tea Nurses
Oh... and just a note on this "little" nursling. The first time I offered her the nipple she seemed uninterested because she didn't op her mouth when I put it above her upper lip. So I was trying to figure out what to do, the nipple was right next to her mouth, when what to my wondering eyes should transpire, but a little fist pushed and FLIP... there goes the nippy right into a ready mouth. And she began, immediately, to suckle like a TOTAL pro! And, although that feat of fist gymnastics has not been repeated, she has nursed strongly every since. I'm so thankful! The problems I encountered with Ria and Kat caused me to wonder (when they were brand new to the world) if I could or even should breastfeed them! Imagine that... especially if you know that Ria nursed until she was just older than TWO (when I went dry from my pregnancy with Kat) and Kat nursed until she was 19 months old (which is when I went dry from Tea's pregnancy)!
I, personally, think every new mother (and each time you have another child you're new at it with that child!) doubts their abilities as a mother in just about every way imaginable. Don't you!?
Sage's Continued Blessings Upon Our Family
I honestly don't know when it transpired, or how, but somehow Sage was preparing to depart with a list of things to purchase for us. Karen required us to get a thermometer (because the one we had was caput) and some Motrin by today (Sunday). As far as I'd understood, Jess was going to go out to get those things. But Sage was leaving to do it? Well, she did. But she didn't return with the list. She returned with the list, plus an extra thermometer (just in case), a "baby's first present" (which was actually a huge pink bag that contained outfits, hats, a doll, diapers, and wipes!), and a balloon to hang on the mailbox announcing our new arrival!! Can you blieve her sweet service and huge generosity!? I feel that I haven't done (nor could ever do, really!) anything in my life to deserve such marvelous and sweet thoughtfulness!
Phone Calls
I finally called my Mom around 5pm-ish Sunday evening after leaving messages on my two brothers phones. I have to say today has been a rather wearing/draining/exhausting day. If I haven't called you yet, it's not for lack of desire or effort, but I haven't been able to call all that many people yet. I hope you will know that I don't mean any offense by not calling! And that, in fact, I'm not really sure WHO I should call beyond my family and those who've left messages recently (and I've not even called all of them back yet!). So, if you want to chat about the whole thing, please feel free to call me!
A Sneak Peak
This is a shot of Tea, held by Karen, during the newborn exam. Do you see that mane of hair? Also, just as a note, Tea was rooting NOT crying. She cried, briefly, immediately after birth and once right after waking up (a bad dream, I think) and once because of some really uncomfy bubbles in her belly, but has not cried other than those instances to this point! SWEET baby!!!
(Actually finished writing this at 12:18am on Monday.)
1 comment:
I know my prayers were answered and I am ever grateful! love, mom
Post a Comment