Have You Heard of It?

I'm referring to the movie "The Business of Being Born" a documentary produced by Ricki Lake. It's AWESOME! I think my Great Aunt Milli would advocate for it, which is very high praise of it because A. Milli is probably the most highly educated woman I know on the subjects of birth and early childhood education. She's amazing!

Anyway, check out the movie if you can and if birth is of interest to you. Also, there's this really great blog I found in connection with TBOBB. It's called "A Mama's Blog." The author has a wonderful way of describing things. The post/review of the movie was written in February 2008. Her most recent post would, I hope, be of great interest to those who support Obama... you might second guess yourself, so maybe you won't want to read the October 12th post on the blog I've just mentioned!

I've watched TBOBB and it is really truly AWESOME! I didn't expect to cry because I've done the natural hospital birth (against the odds) as well as successful home birth, but I totally cried! It's just such a miracle... birth! And even more, in my opinion, unmedicated birth because of the complete with-it-ness of the Mama involved!! They didn't use these words, but one message I took from the movie is that natural childbirth is transcendental. It reveals you to yourself and, in all the best and worst thoughts and feelings you may have during the whole process, you realize that no matter how little (or much) you think you can do, you can do more if you just keep going! I've certainly felt that, for myself, with my daughters' births! It's like that Country Song by Rodney Atkins:

"If you're going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared, don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there"

That, RIGHT THERE, is what it's like at the worst points in natural childbirth. You don't think, you just keep on going!! I know there were MANY times during my births (especially Ria's) that I was super scared. But I was determined not to show it because I didn't want Jess to doubt me and the process and then not support future home births! Weird? I seriously thought that!

Anyway, all of this 'empowerment' stuff is really coming at a PERFECT time for me because I've had so many more fears as I approach this birth. Karen, my midwife, has told me that it's really normal for women with a couple good births to have this sort of experience because it's almost like, "It's gone really quite well already with my previous births, how lucky can I get?" And that's exactly what my underlying concern was! It's amazing how perfect, for me, Karen is as a midwife!

Then, on top of those fears, the extended duration of this prodromal labor has been wearing me down. Much of the time I feel like my nerves are raw and I'm just trying to coast through the day. I'm sure that's also partially due to fatigue, but more due to the regular (and often constant) pain of light to middling contractions. I'm grateful for moments and times when I don't have contraction related pain. It's such a relief!!

The Baby and This Pregnancy
We had a midwife visit on Monday afternoon. I didn't have her do an internal check my progress because I was afraid of being frustrated by it. Everything is normal. Baby seems to have dropped more because the belly measurement didn't change from last week. Normal... check. Movement is still strong and regular. I'm still tired and crampy.

Starting REALLY early this past Tuesday morning I thought I might be actually starting labor. I even stopped working ChaCha to get to bed because I was just sure that I would need the rest. It was difficult to fall asleep, but I was able to do so by convincing myself that the contractions would wake me up later. Imagine my disappointment when they DIDN'T!

I have had lots of "action" today, but nothing constant or intensifying. Bummer.

If this baby hasn't decided to grace us with her/his presence by Tuesday, I'll have to go in for an ultrasound to buy me another 5 days of non-interference. If you feel so inclined, I would appreciate prayers that the baby arrives on his or her own before an ultrasound would be necessary on Tuesday, October 21. Dog-gone-it, I've made it this far without one! It's not an extra expense, other than gas, at least, but I'd still rather avoid it completely.

The thing is, with both Ria and Kat I had relatively non-invasive and natural interventions to cause labor to start and it wasn't good for me mentally because the WHOLE time I knew I was in labor. I don't want to do it that way this time! I want to keep wondering and hoping and then KNOW at some random point in time. Ya know? Anyway.... Karen's all for that and doesn't even plan to try anything at 42 weeks, which is awesome. (Of course, I'll have been for the ultrasound the day before, but that's not part of any induction process unless some problem is discovered there.)