Blessings of Love and Tithing

"I believe with all my heart that if they will accept the gospel and live it, pay their tithes and offerings, even though those be meager, the Lord will keep His ancient promise in their behalf, and they will have rice in their bowls and clothing on their backs and shelter over their heads." A statement by President Gordon B. Hinkley in a missionary meeting, Philippines Cebu Mission, 1 June 1996. (“Inspirational Thoughts,” Ensign, Aug. 1997, 3)

Malachi 3:10 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

I felt so very sad and down when, last month, I couldn't put any money toward any of the charitable offerings we can do through the LDS church. Normally we don't do much, we do just enough to stretch (keep things from being too "cushy"), which is the point as I understood it from this one article/talk I read. Anyway... I was so sad and even cried about it and wondered in my small and silly way if I would be reprimanded for not being able to maintain those efforts I'd been making. Well, I have to say, I think NOT!

We've been blessed constantly to have our food storage tremendously supplemented with fresh fruits, veggies, bread, and milk for the past many weeks. If that's not blessings falling from heaven (and confirmation that I'm not being reprimanded), I don't know what is!

In addition to ALL of that, in the last couple of days we've been blessed by living angels! Yesterday, Jess called me from work to let me know that his co-workers had purchased 3 bags of newborn diapers for us! Then today, my dear friend, Heather, showed up to check on me because I'd sounded down on my voice mail. AND another of my dear friends, Sage, came by with pizza (which I've been TOTALLY craving for the last 2 weeks), root beer (my favorite soda!), vanilla ice cream (can you say root beer floats!?), and pickles (just because I'm preggie!) because she'd just been thinking about it for the last few days! Aren't those acts of service and love just the sweetest? I think I have room enough in my heart to receive all that love and I'm certainly trying to accept it without reservation, but it certainly does feel a bit overwhelming.

Ya know, I really feel I have to share (and I want to) that the most awesome part of all this is that when I was feeling my most desperate this past weekend, over the whole CRUD with Jess, I did have some fierce arguments with myself on many topics. One of those subjects of internal debate was regarding Heavenly Father's love and whether I deserved it or not... I thought that perhaps I'd done something wrong and wasn't a cherished daughter anymore. I know, I know... pretty silly and totally lame, but I was SUPER down. I was able to talk myself away from that stupidity, but it still FELT sort of real, even though I KNEW it wasn't. Ya know? Well, then these things happen... and I totally FEEL the love and FEEL cherished... and it makes me feel so totally and completely grateful! What an AWESOME Father in Heaven we have!!!!

Oh, and yes, I'm still preggie
I think the heading says it all! :) My across-the-street neighbor yelled across to ask if I'd had the baby. I think I look totally bloated and pregnant, but I guess not to everyone. Of course, she just realized I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago! (I seriously think I've looked pregnant for AT LEAST the last 2-3 months!) In answer to her query, I turned to the side and held my huge t-shirt over the belly so she could see for herself. She did, as most people do, the pitying facial expressions and then suggested I go for a run on the beach.

And THAT, my friends, is why I haven't left the house lately! I know people mean well, but seriously... pity and weird suggestions for inducing labor?! OF course, they don't know that I can barely walk because of either hip or back pain... and most recently because I'm feeling super front heavy! but if I went for a run and it caused labor to start, I wouldn't be able to labor in motion, which would cause the whole thing to drag out forever! The only really safe and sort of possibly effective methods of self-induction are: pressure points (acupressure, but I don't know enough about it to avoid the points that could cause the baby to pooh in utero!), acupuncture (OFTEN works, but we can't afford it), massage (could work, but can't afford it), and sex (which was just causing false labor and I just am not interested in it anymore for various reasons). So, possibly TMI*, but... I suppose that's still a bit "Tori" for ya. I really have improved in that regard, but it seems, on this subject especially, TMI goes with the territory.

ChaCha
I've maintained my Top Guide status thus far. I'm happy about that and pleased with my performance; especially when I accomplish a number of searches at 30 seconds or less! But even though my searches have improved, I haven't worked as much primarily because I'd felt guilty about working when the girls are awake and decided to curb that (and pretty much stopped it most of the time).

Even though I worked a lot less during the day, I've still maintained either a very heavy part-time job status or a light full-time job status (between 20 and 32 hours each week). My payout for the month was about half as much as last month... HOPEFULLY, though, I can purchase the Math program I want to start Ria on, but I'll have to make sure things work out in the budget as far as everything being covered by Jessie's paychecks. It should because we've still got another 2 checks coming for the month, which means catch-up money and rent... hopefully it'll work out so we can "officially" start Math in a way that doesn't scare the bejeebers out of me (and Jess, for that matter). My goal is to work for a piano in the next month... we'll see how that goes, of course. And if I have to cover bills, it won't happen. :(


*Too Much Information