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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Saturday, June 25, 2011

On Requesting (or accepting) Service

So, the other day I was speaking to a really wonderful lady.  She has just had a surgery and must take some time to rest and heal.  I'm Compassionate Service Leader in my Ward and so I was asking her what I could gather our Sister (the ladies in our Ward) together that we might do to help her while she is less able and in recovery.  She welcomed meals, which is kind of standard operating proceedure when someone is going through a rough patch.  We of the LDS faith LOVE to bring in food.  Well, at least I do!  It just makes everything more endurable, doesn't it?  Good food.  Delivered by a smiling Brother or Sister!  It's basically LOVE in physical form!  :)

Well, during the course of the conversation I was trying to ascertain any other need and did.  But when I asked for permission to schedule Sisters to come in and meet those needs I met resistance.  And I feel that same way!  But I spoke of what I believe.  What do I believe?  I'm glad you asked!

I believe that Father God blesses us with weak times so that those around us may gather together to strengthen and fortify us.  In my mind I see it as a chain.  Each link gets a chance to be weak.  What is meant to happen is that when the chain knows a link is weak, they bunch up around that weak link and give of themselves until the weak link is strong.  Then, the chain is stretched out and it is ALL strong.  Now, this wouldn't work QUITE this way in the solely temporal world, but Spiritually, when we give Love away (in any of it's various forms, including Service), there is actually MORE Love in the giver than there was before the giving.  I know you know it.  It's a God thing.  ;)

So, I said all these nice words.  And I TRULY believe them.  And my Sister was slightly swayed.  I told her I would give her about 2 days to think about it and get comfy at home and then let me know when she would allow the "cleaning party" of Sisters to come.

During that same time the Spirit was working on me.  Almost constantly for 2 days.  You see, I'm having a hard time myself.  Things look just fine from the outside.  I'm able to feel Peaceful and even happy out and about and even at home when certain things are where they should be... namely one person I will leave unnamed.  But if you come to my home... some days everything looks good.  Generally, the livingroom is in order most of the time.  The kitchen and dining room are, too, for the most part.    Even the kids' toy room is quite ok.  Sometimes toys are out and about and all, but that's what a TOY room is for, right!?  The computer room is a bit messy, but that's really only because I haven't figured out where to put things... where they belong.  However, if you were allowed to walk down the hall and into my bedroom, which, for the most part, is not allowed because we have a thing about bedrooms... you would see my need plain as day.  My need is, currently, in the form of MOUNTAINS of laundry.  Literally.  Okay, maybe they are small mountains.  But mountains they be.  Especially considering that I was keeping laundry COMPLETELY done for a good while (including after Jimmy's birth).

Having a hubby unemployed and home really just sets a girl off track.  It just does.  Maybe it doesn't for YOU.  But it HAS and DOES for me.  I'm not proud of this, but it is what it is thus far.  I'm hoping to overcome this problem, but it has not happened thus far so I just have to deal.  Right?

Well, that's the subject about which the Spirit was working on me.  Finally toward the end of the second day, I realized that my words were pretty words, but until I did something different than what I was doing, they were just words and did not reflect who I really AM in deed.  So, I'm feeling Led.  I am going to get permission and all, but my plan is to stand before my Sisters in Relief Society tomorrow and invite them to a cleaning party at my house.  Mostly it'll actually be a laundry folding party.  But I do also have a really pretty couch and chair, new-to-me, which are dirty and with which I need help (I've already scrubbed the chair at least two times and it still need scrubbing and I've only started on one arm rest on the couch and it still needs SCRUBBING)... so I'll be asking for help with cleaning those, too.  Father has laid it heavy on my heart that if I expect others to ask for and/or accept help, then I need to do what I'm asking them to do.  Now, generally, they will not have to do what I'm being told to do.  They will not have to ask for help for themselves.  And let me tell you.  I am completely dreading it.  I've got my Pride.  But Father is saying I should not.  So He is guiding me to submit and humble myself and ask for help with that which I cannot seem to manage currently.

And why can't I manage it??  Jess is home, afterall!  HE should be able to help, shouldn't he?  Well, one would think so.  But, you see, there are ALL these jobs around the outside of the house that need done.  And I literally canNOT handle all of it.  So, he's either been job hunting (computer or out and about) or working on the fence or working outside in some other way.  Also, it's much better for him to NOT be in the house.  Especially lately.  I'm not going to go there, but TRUST me.

Heck, I should be doing it right NOW instead of writing.  In my head, though... if you were or could be in my head, you would understand why I do this and not that.  :(  Not a good reason, but there it is.

Others, about other people, might say: They have a husband and an older/adult child at home.  Those two (or however many) can totally handle it together.  Yes, they SHOULD be able to handle it, more than likely.  BUT, wouldn't you acknowledge that, even in YOUR life, SHOULD and what really DOES happen are really far divergent over some things at some time or another?  I mean, I SHOULD exercise EVERY day and I SHOULD eat mostly veggies.  DO I do those things?  Ummm... I want to.  I mean to.  But no.  I do not.  Isn't there something in your life like this?

I can say, unquivolcally, that we canNOT know what is going on with those others who SHOULD be able to carry the burden that they are not carrying well.  So, do we allow our Sister to be burdened in an unweildy weight, or do we step in and lift up her hanging hands?  Do we sit in our currently comfortable life and think. "She should be able to handle it.  I've handled the very same situation in my life just fine.  She'll be able to handle it.  I did.  I'm sure she can!  I'll let her handle it."  I know, and you know, that we have been charged with doing some lifting rather than judging.  So, let's get to and DO!  Let's identify and then step in to make life easier for someone else.  I'm sure that our own life will be easier on our mind and heart - even if our difficulties truly ARE greater than those we perceive in another.

1 comment:

Wonder Woman I'm Not said...

I also struggle with asking or accepting help even though I would be the first to offer it to someone else. I think it's because as females we've been programmed from a young age that we can have it all - we can't!

Hang in there with your unemployed husband and try (I know - it's difficult) to look for the positives. My husband was out of work a few years ago and I can actually say now that we've come out on the other side that it was a blessing. Losing a job can be a real blow to their self-esteem and unfortunately it is usually taken out on the ones they love.

Hang in there - hopefully you've had your cleaning party and it's gone well :)

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