The title of this post is a very specific thought I had a few days ago when considering all the blessing in the form of gifts we've received since Tea has arrived. A few people told me they wanted to have a baby shower for me. Initially I asked to postpone it until we knew the gender of the babe. Once we had another girl I sort of hoped it wouldn't be mentioned again. By the time it was, so many people had given us gifts that I asked if I could NOT have a shower just because I had everything from the two girls before... Anyway. I thought the subject was sort of done. Come to find out, it wasn't.
I mentioned that I was released from the calling of Primary Secretary. I have mourned the loss of the calling as well as the sort of camaraderie I felt at the end of my time in that calling. I know I'll receive another call, but I RARELY ever feel like I belong. I was in that calling for around 18 months and it was only in the last 6, maybe, that I felt that camaraderie. I went to Relief Society with not much excitement because I really wished to still be in Primary.
The sister conducting started the meeting by saying that the guest of honor was actually in Relief Society. I was looking around wondering who was new when what to my wondering ears should I hear but my name!! I felt this weird shock... like, "How did they know I was going to be in here!" I now know they didn't, actually. Anyway, she continued by telling me that the items on the front table were for me for Tea. They wanted to give us(my family), as a Relief Society, a gift because they loved me and my family so much. At first I didn't think or feel anything, I was just sort of in shock. Before she was done talking I burst into silent sobs and covered my whole face with Tea's hat. I think my reaction really surprised and slightly upset the small group of ladies present.
A few of them immediately came and surrounded me to touch and comfort, as sisters do. When I could breathe again, I choked out that I was just so grateful for such a gift that felt like a "Welcome Back" because I'd been mourning the loss of my Primary calling so poignantly. There were some noises of understanding and then some comments about using Tea's hat to collect my tears (I'd gone from covering my face with it to mopping up the wetness there).
As I reflect upon it now, I'm amazed at the miracle of the Lord's timing! You see, the Primary Presidency had submitted my release (and the replacement call to a new sister) around THREE MONTHS ago and it only just came through to me and my replacement last week. While my sisters in the presidency were anxious to have the change occur, the timing of my transition was perfect for me in two ways. #1 If I'd been released any sooner, my sadness would have been tremendously magnified by the horrible hormones I'm feeling less cumbered by currently (though, unfortunately, still experiencing). #2 The other part of the miracle of timing is that this gift my sisters prepared for me in secret was set out in the front of the room for presentation to me TODAY (they were going to get me from the Primary room to present it) on my FIRST day back in Relief Society. The Lord knew my need and He orchestrated it all to play so nicely for me! I'm SO grateful. I don't need any of those THINGS (except, maybe, the diapers and wipes), but I definitely needed to feel the love of my Ward Family in the way they hoped to communicate it through those gifts.
A New Friend
As an added bonus I resumed my self-determined calling (for when I don't have an official calling) of introducing myself to anyone I don't recognize. Is that sometimes embarrassing when I find out that they've been there longer than me and I've either never noticed them, never spoken to them, or have been so far gone and self-centered during my pregnancy that I didn't bother to try to meet them and they've been coming since then... well, yeah, ALL of those situations would be really upsetting to me. Thankfully, I haven't experienced them, though it's TOTALLY possible!
Today I met 3 groups and I think I completed my goal for my "calling" because I DO think I met everyone that was new. What a nice feeling! One of the groups I met was Dominique and her boys. She has THREE. Neat, huh? Her boys are all older than my girls and may be closer in age as well. The similarities continue. We both lack consistent transportation of our own. We both feel, intensely, the loneliness of being at home 24/7 with few to commiserate with or even to have adult conversations with.... Additionally, I learned in Relief Society that she may have some of the same hormonal freak issues that I have during the postpartum period.... She's also VERY spiritual. I'm not sure that I am. I think, often, than I'm not. But... I'm told pretty frequently that I others consider me very spiritual... so, that may be a similarity. I would like to think so, at least. :) She's just seems like a really neat person.
During Relief Society Dominique actually contributed a really pertinent and thoughtful comment to the lesson. I was so impressed and excited and almost immediately I asked her when she was going to get baptized. She seemed embarrassed and asked me if I thought she should. I'm pretty sure I told her I thought she should. A little later I added that she should pray about it and make sure that she didn't let a lack of knowledge stop her from getting baptized because she can learn specifics along the way.
I had a silly little thought... but hopeful. I thought that perhaps, even if I seem unable to help my husband recognize the truth of the Gospel, I can help someone else along the way. And then I thought something about how funny it would be if Dominique was baptized really soon....
I know the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the physical manifestation of the FULLY restored Gospel of Christ on earth today. I'm grateful for the hope and joy that the knowledge of that truth provides me. I believe all those who truly want to know, search, ponder, and pray on the question of its truthfulness will come to know that it IS true as I do (or with an even surer knowledge!). I'm grateful for the peace and comfort that the Book of Mormon brings me. I also believe that anyone who hopes to experience peace from reading and studying the Book of Mormon WILL! I know Jesus Christ IS our Savior AND He lives! What joy that sweet sentence gives and provides me... and CAN for you, too (if not already). ^_^
Today has been a good day....
4 months ago