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First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Praise for My Man

In my life I've had the experience that when I'm feeling a cruddy way, it's sometimes good to focus on the opposite and then that will become the most predominant reality/feeling. And so, I'm going to focus on how wonderful Jess is and can be right now. This is meant to be public because I have, regularly enough, complained about him. So, you can remind me of his good qualities if ever I complain. However, if I complain I probably just need someone to commiserate with for a few moments. I usually get over it pretty quickly... usually.

Some Wonderful Things About Jessie

Jess is a wonderful Daddy most of the time. He plays with our girls in a way I feared he wouldn't when we were dating because he wouldn't goof off with me. He is silly with them and rough houses with them.... The rough housing is REALLY good for them, but beyond that, he stops before anything rotten happens almost every time! In my memory of the same when I was a kid, something rotten happened to stop the play EVERY time. At least, that's what I remember.

More than play, though, Jess actually sits down and cuddles and talks with our children. Even Tea, though she doesn't say much back as yet. She certainly tries. Kat is in the stage where she says a lot, much of it understandable, but key parts totally incomprehensible. Jess still listens and tries to understand.

Jess is totally on board with homeschooling! There are plenty of Dads out there who agree to the program, but don't DO anything to support it. While that's understandable, in a way, I'm sure that's not how it was when our Founding Fathers were almost all homeschooled! I am certain that Mamas and tutors did most of the educating, but I'm equally as certain that Daddys of that day were very involved in some way, shape, or form.

When I was less able during the end of the pregnancy, Jess took over almost all reading classes with Ria. He also helped her with some Math when it was available. He picked all of the reading books, so he would make sure there were some Science as well as History-type reading books in those that Ria would (and did) read! I hadn't even really focused on diversifying and multitasking her education in that way!

Obviously, helping with the homeschooling is support. But Jess also supports me in various other ways that many/most guys wouldn't even consider if they were asked! My most special birthday present from Jess this year was his service to me first thing in the morning. Usually I get everyone except for him ready to go to the temple each month (a HUGE support thing he does that most any non-member husband would NEVER do!), but this time - on my birthday - he got everyone except for Tea and me ready to go AND had plenty of water and snacks ready as well!!! I was totally thrilled, touched, and well pleased by that gift of service!!!

I've missed church a lot in the last few months. I was Primary Secretary and missing many Sundays because of illnesses of varying types. Jess basically took over the distribution and collection of roles during the last 2 months of my pregnancy as well as doing it whenever I wasn't at church. He also remembered to knock on doors as a reminder to go to the Primary room most Sundays when I was there and couldn't run around to do it anymore (at the end of the pregnancy).

Already mentioned, but bearing repetition, Jessie helps me go to the temple every month with my family. This is SUPER special and valuable to me because I want the temple to be a REAL place to my children. I want them to know it's importance to me by my efforts to get there consistently, work there, and treasuring their presence with me. Ria spontaneously starts to sing "I Love to See the Temple" as we approach it, often enough. That song is Kat's very favorite Primary song. And they both are SUPER excited when we tell them we'll be going to the temple the next day.

At first Kat just sort of observed the excitement over the subject of the temple trip. But she has become just as excited and vocal about her excitement to make temple trips. In her pretend play she often goes on trips. Where? Almost always she's leaving to go to the temple! Jess makes their knowledge of and excitement about the temple possible. I've taken them by myself only 1 month and that was simply because of confusion and difficulty in scheduling our trip amidst Jessie's full schedule of work.

Even when Jess was working 4, 5, and sometimes 7 days a week (between TWO jobs!), he still helped me get to the temple. We'd leave around 5 in the morning on a morning he had off and get home around noon-ish and he would have to leave for his night work at 2:30pm. This service to me is super precious because I know how much this man wants and enjoys sleep! Granted, he would sleep on the way there and home, but still he was there making the trip possible and spending time with the girls while I was IN the temple. *Just as a note, the trip is 2 hours one way. While there are longer trips, I think this one is the most I could get out of Jess (God is good!).

To Provide for our Financial and Spiritual Needs
Most of the time, Jessie really tries hard to fully provide for our family. He rarely complains about the amount of work he needs to do. He tries to work as much as possible to make the money necessary to fully provide for our family. He tries to make provide (the Princess Scooter as a good example) for some of the wants as well as necessities. He wants to provide for our family completely and works hard to that end.

Tries to be the Peacekeeper
Jess really tries hard, a good deal of the time, to avoid confrontations. For whatever reason, I actually want to argue some times - so this can be bad.... Not that I want the Spirit of contention, but, rather, I want to know that he is expressing himself fully and allowing me full expression of opinion when they differ. Often enough, in his effort to avoid contention, he will just shut down rather than hear me or express himself. VERY FRUSTRATING and sowing of discord in my heart, at least. But I do recognize that he's trying hard to be kind and loving in his effort to avoid confrontations... at least, I think that's why he does it! ;)

Tries to be a good Husband/Partner
He tries hard to be a good partner. He does ask me how I feel. He asks about my day. He tries to listen, most of the time, I think. He tries to respect my wishes and help me as much as he's able. He really tries hard. Many men I've heard of hardly try... I guess it's human nature to always want more... to always strive for perfection. This is good. But it's also frustrating and sometimes depressing.

Tries Hard to Become Better
Change is difficult. Jess is trying hard to make good changes. He has made a few strong attempts to become a non-smoker, which is AWESOME. He tries hard to be completely virtuous, completely honest, honorable, and full of integrity. It is in the human nature to be contrary to these things... and in Jessie's nature to "protect" me from things by being contrary to some of these things. But he is striving. And therein is the most wonderful gift he can give me... EVER... is to continue striving. I just hope he will have hope enough to continue his efforts to discontinue the cigs because I believe that each time he does try, he gets closer to being done for good. This last time he quit for longer than ever before! That's progress in my book!

A Good Man

Man, he's a good man! I'm blessed beyond measure to know that he's THE one for me and to have such hope in my heart that we will be an eternal family. He's certainly on the path. I just hope he will desire to know....

I'm blessed that he's my man - even when I'm mad at him or generally frustrated. Even more, I'm blessed to know that he's THE man for me... confirmed to me before I was back in the Gospel (I wasn't praying and being sensitive to the Spirit at the time). You know it's right when the Lord speaks to you through the only mouth you'd listen to!!!

I hope this hasn't been too disgusting for you. And, perhaps you'll remind me of some of these points in the future... after commiserating with me a bit (at least). ^_^

1 comment:

vicki said...

One more item, probably stated differently by you...He sure does come thru when he understands your needs. Prime example is his recent excellent work as your birth partner.
love, mom

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