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First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Thursday, September 6, 2012

Because My Husband Asked

So, Jessie suggested today that he might like some No Bake cookies.  Since chocolate has been, almost without exception, out of the house for 21 months now, and both Tea and Kat want chocolate sweets for their upcoming birthdays... we broke down and bought some carob powder.  Now, if you're a heavy chocolate eater (addicted) as I was (read: eat chocolate daily and compulsively through the day), then you will probably not like carob-anything as a chocolate replacement unless you've been uhooked from chocolate-deliciousness for a good long while.

The first time I had carob-anything was a few months ago and I couldn't tell the difference between it and what I remember of chocolate.  At that time, I'd been chocolate-free for around 17-18 months.  It also helps that my taste buds are not wonderfully refined in the ways my husband's are.  I can barely tell the difference between similar tasting things, while he looks at me in horror because they are light-years apart in flavor, texture, umami, mouth feel... all that jazz.  We're a bit like the main rat and his brother in Ratatouille.... except that we are, obviously not rats... and, of course, I'm a gal and he's a guy. You know the two I'm talking about, though, right?  Anyway...

So, I made the No Bake cookies for Jess.  They look exactly the same as No Bake cookies made with cocoa powder.  Amazingly (since my taste buds are not refined), I think I can discern a slight flavor difference, but it's so close for me (now nearly 2 years off chocolate!) that I purposely gave myself permission to pretend it IS chocolate.  And I enjoyed it a great deal!!  Had the crumbs (just like I used to when my Mom made it, though back then I had to sneak, now I don't! ^_^), ate a cookie, and ate another one a while later.  I still want some more because it's sweet... but I don't feel driven to eat more the way I used to when I was actively consuming chocolate.  I'm still a chocohaulic, I know, but thankfully not under its control!  Hopefully, I'm not feeling controlled by my desire for chocolate more because of lots of changes going on in my brain and not just because the carob cookie isn't a chocolate cookie... but I don't feel confident enough in my hope of brain changes to try even a tiny taste of chocolate.  Perhaps I never will.

Why?  Because I have an addictive nature.  If I like something, I have a tendancy to over-induldge without even thinking about it.  I just do it.  (nike... never can get away from them)  So, since I know this weakness in myself... why go to the edge of the cliff to see if I'm still afraid of heights, get vertigo and fall over??!  I mean... I totally used-to-would've done such a thing.  I just care about myself more now, I guess.  That's something nice to learn as I've written it!  ^_^

As a result of this successful experiment (and I'm sure Jessie will enjoy the cookies immensely... even though we didn't have any vanilla for them), I'm excited about the confections my girls have requested for their birthdays!!!  :)

1 comment:

vicki said...

Good for you!
Glad you could enjoy the carob no bake cookies. They'll be even better with vanilla, too.

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