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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Friday, May 1, 2009


So, after I wrote the last poem and before I went to bed;
I checked on Ria because I had the real fear that she's be dead.

(Yes, I know this is extreme.
It's a problem, these things I see in my waking dream.

I've had these waking dreams
as long as I can remember, from my mind beams.)

Well, when I checked on her,
her breathing was odd and I caused her to stir.

She happened to wake up and she was struggling to take in air.
I was alarmed, Jess woke up... MAN, we were a pair.

Jess comforted her for just a little while,
then handed her to me to hold her in Mama style.

In my mind I prayed for heavenly permission
to bring my eldest babe to Earth's own perdition.

Yes, the generally unwanted place - hospital,
was my hearts great desire - oh, so tall!

But the answer was a firm NO.
Yet, stubborn as I am, I couldn't let go.

I asked a few more times.
I can't think of more rhymes.

But each time I asked Father responded in a definite way.
And after a few tries I came to accept that a trip would not be today.

Ria and I began to, together, pray.
And she almost immediately began to breathe in an easier way.

She and I felt tremendous comfort.
Such joy in feeling answer to prayer of that sort.

Jess had been busy
gathering information in a tizzy.

He wanted to be ready
in case I wanted to make the trip, and was, in my decision, steady.

We both felt calm,
Gilead's own special balm!

A bit a rollercoaster for Mama since.
Over-all Ria seems to be better, I say to, me convince.

It's so difficult for Mama-at-home-all-day
to tell when there are changes either way.

Her breathing really did seem easier through most of our day.
She even felt well enough to, with Kat, run and play.

I have hope that all will be well.
Regardless of the overactive-fear-hole in which I fell.

Thank you for your prayers after reading.
I hope you'll continue to send them our way, speeding. :)


Our family said...

Addie's been sick too, ever since we came back from our trip. We've had a week and a half of diarrhea and since Monday she's had a fever on and off. We took her to the doctor and didn't get much out of it, then she got worse, not wanting to eat or drink (only nurse), extremely fussy, more consistent fever. It's been the pits. She woke up this morning with little red spots all over, and seems to be tons better. We think it was roseola.

I guess the gist of this is: I feel your pain. Obviously, they are different illnesses, scaring us in different ways, but it's no fun having a sick baby! I'm sorry you've been dealing with it too!

Heidi said...

Joshua had sleep apnea when he was a baby. It was so scary. He slept in our bed more than the others because I was tired of getting out of bed every couple of hours to check on him.

Hopefully this was just a one time thing and she is feeling better.

vicki said...

So-o sorry! Get well with love, mom

vicki said...

I'm missing postings. I hope it is because you are mending! love, mom

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