Life

Life just moves right along, doesn't it?

I'm currently in between 34 and 35 weeks along in this pregnancy and feel like I have so much more to do than I have time to do it in.  I guess that's what I get for my first experience of "nesting" ever!  ahwell...  I mean, I've felt that I wanted/needed to get some crocheting done before a new baby... but nothing like I've been feeling in this last trimester of this pregnancy.

The other day I pulled up this annoying short fence in my side yard.  Yeah, I just pulled it up.  Exhaling whilst pulling REALLY adds some strength - even in this preggie belly!  I was so super tired after that lame exertion, though, that I didn't get much at all done the next day.  Unbelievable!

I DID finish this baby's blanket, but have not made a jacket, shoes OR doll yet.  :(  I figure I'll aim at having the doll done by the time s/he is 18 months old... my girls haven't really noticed their's until around then.  Hopefully that'll hold.  I can't afford to get the yard right now anyway.

I'm working toward a goal of completely writing 12 Lessons of Life for this year.  I figure if I can get 8 done before the baby comes, I should be able to manage 4 in the 8 months after... at least, I think I will.  And I can be a bit like the Little Engine That Could when I put my mind to it.  So far...  dum-da-da-duuuumm... I've completely written 5 (or 6... I think it's 6, but if it is I didn't write down the title of the last one so I can - some day - print them out at the library or somewhere else).

New Year's resolutions and I don't do well together.  However, I do have a tendancy to start new things all year long... if I find something that I want to tackle, I go ahead and try.  If I find something in December of that sort, I make a point to begin on the tast/challenge/goal BEFORE the new year because I know how averse my psyche is to long-term effort on "New Year's" goals.  So... I started working on something I have long been very NOT good at doing with consistency.  Housekeeping.  I consider myself a homemaker and most of my homemaking efforts have, historically, been in making, not keeping things.  heeheehee  So, I'm striving to continue in the making (as much as possible) whilst adding in some keeping.

This week has been a bugger-boo, but I've still been doing all right.  Today I had to catch up on my schedule for sweeping (that's my single biggest job with the square footage of this house and all).  I think I've shared that I'm been maintaining well with laundry.  While there have been a few hiccups (laundry piling ridiculously - especially around the time the washer died and we took laundry to the mat... but even so, I was able to catch that mess up inside a week and I've kept it up really pretty well since then.  I've NOTHING to brag about considering I'm 35, I've been responsible for doing this (solely) for the last 5 years (or a little more) and it's only now that I'm even beginning to get a handle on it.  My point in sharing is this: if TORI can get it under some sort of control, I can tell you that ANYone can... and I mean anyone!!!  Seriously.

One thing that has helped me is my TJEd planning.  I haven't really mentioned that here.  A Thomas Jefferson Education has seriously rocked my world.  My paradigm for homeschooling (education in general) has been significantly ordered.  I say ordered because the principles in A TJEd are things I've been learning and feeling for some time, but didn't have a whole "system" in place to incorporate it any synthesize all that I believed.  Now I do and going through the process of getting it going is a sort of world rocking experience.  I'm glad.  It is what it is.  And it has been difficult, but glorious.  And I'm sure I will continue to experience the rocking for quite a while as the changes necessary are being implemented bit by bit... line upon line... and as I'm able.  It's SO liberating to be forgiving of oneself!

So, I've got a planner.  And in my planner I have a schedule for the basics of my day.  I have it written in through Feb and into March.  The basics include: morning and evening Devotionals, laundry (almost daily), dishes (daily; though they have YET to get completely done by me on a given day... my back starts screaming after washing about 1/4 of the dishes waiting for me on most days), FHE on Mondays, FGN on Sundays, Family Reading Time (daily), feed the chickens, piano practice (daily and, yes, for me... Ria has been doing HER practices MUCH more willingly since I started to catch up to her in skill!... I'm not happy that she's so very HIGHLY competative, but I'm trying to use what I know to inspire rather than require (with yelling too often in the requiring, at that) as TJEd suggests!!), and an area of my home to sweep each day.  The days that the area is smaller, I also have BIG MESSES right in there, so I can't give myself an excuse to leave those alone until the particular area rolls around the following week.  I know FLY LADY has some really great info on home maintenance... I did try her way... it just didn't work for me.  Perhaps jumping in to that program was a bit of going from 0-60mph in 2 seconds for an old Ford Pickup... (the pickup being me, of course).  I could do it, but then I'd fall apart after trying to maintain 60mph for a really unreasonably short amount of time.  So, I'm doing what I can do.  :)  And it's working for me, which is REALLY the key, afterall!

I did have to play catch up today, but I did almost catch up (dishes still not staying done... must work on that...).  It feels really quite good.  Oh, and I've decided to take trash back.  I'm not putting it by the door for Jess anymore.  Why should he be greeted by trash?  I mean, I can empty it and have the girls walk it out.  They may not love it, but neither do I... so we can do something we don't love together!  ;)

Obviously, I'm really happy about this subject... and, really, who IRL is interested?  Probably you aren't either... but if you've made it this far... THANK YOU!  :)  I appreciate your kind interest and care in/of me!

The baby is lovely.  S/he is a good mover and that is ALWAYS a comfort.  Baby also doesn't seem to ride in my lungs this time around.  NICE!  I'm curious to see if this is another girl after Kat's mold (I think she did  not ride in my lungs) or a boy - who would likely be a lot like Kat.  My midwife, when preggie with Tea (we do have the same midwife now, YEAY!) came to our home for a visit toward the end, as homebirth midwives do so they know where you live... and saw Kat REALLY as she is and told me, "You don't need a boy, you have HER!"  And that was after teasing me incessantly about needing a boy.  So, I bet, when we do have a boy, those two will be PEAS in a POD!  It should be interesting to see.  Kat just LOVES boys!!!

Ria is doing well.  She's getting tall.  I know it's inevitable, but it just feels like she's SO much taller lately.  I know her height does not compare to others her age, but it's all relative!  Her self-education is going well.  I'm planning out some ways to teach her better.  She loves Botony (we use Apologia for science and it ROCKS), which is the branch (pun intended) she's been studying this year.  She's read the book at least 9 times now... and it's not a teeny tiny book, either.  She is NOT hating piano currently, though she does try to complain here and there.  But then I point out that I'm doing _____ better than her and she needs to practice to catch up and she gets right to it.  hehehe  I know... not the best motivator.  I'm NEW to this whole inspire not require.  It's a WHOLE new paradigm for me... it's gunna take some time!

Kat is doing well.  She's more than half-way done reading the books listed at the end of How to Teach Your Child to Read In 100 Easy Lessons.  She LOVES to read and is doing well with it.  I'm excited for her to get into chapter books, which will probably happen by the end of next month!  She's still stumbling a lot and guessing a lot, but we just remind her that she's a GREAT reader, but a bad guesser and she works on sounding-out again.  Thankfully.  She loves handwriting class and has begun piano (with Mama).  I'm hoping to get up the guts to ask Ria's piano teacher to take Kat on some day... but I can at least get the really slow and painful stuff done since I can remember how Ria did it and work through it with Kat.  Kat definitely has more initiative and gets to work without a word from Mama.  Actually, she asks for permission and I often as not tell her no... I think this increases her desire.  I'm cool with using reverse psychology.  SO nice that it works!  :)  Especially since most of the time I say no it's really because my head or brain cannot handle another background sound.

My little follower is also a good leader.  Tea is a very good example of choosing the right, most of the time.  She does tend to follow her sisters' bad examples more than I would like, but for a 2 year old, she really does choose better than they do more often than not.  Prayer time is the exception lately.  We're working on that.  Tea LOVES to work.  She asks for piano practice almost every single day (which, in her case, means getting the book that she identifies as "her lesson book" out for her and putting it in place so she can gently pound the keys with a book in front of her), she also must work on handwriting and/or planning (in her planner) on a daily basis... especially if we are sitting down to do any of it.  Tea loves to read and if I sit down to do a reading lesson with Kat, I must also make sure to have the time to do a lesson with Tea.  So far we are on lesson 13 in the 100 Lessons book.  She is NOT reading that well, but I'm going to keep going for a bit longer before I start the book over with her.  We'll see what happens.  :)  She's had a LOT of peepee accidents lately.  I'm not sure if it's a behavioral, physically caused regression or emotional... I haven't been acting all that much differently, so I don't think it's emotional (at least not with me as the cause)... she's very good when we're out of the house, but has a tendancy to pee on herself a LOT when we're at home.  So much more laundry when she's as accident prone as she has been.  ahwell

Must run for now.  If you made it through all that, let me know!  ;)

Dear Anni

Dear Anni.

Since Jess called to wish you a Happy Birthday on your birthday, I have dickered over whether to write to you here or not.  Since this is the only way I can think of interacting with you... as I do not have your email address (it was lost during my email address change), do not have your snail mail address, and only have your phone number via Jess... and you told me not to ever call again, so I am trying to honor your requirement.  Finally, today, my courage has won out.  So I write.

Anni, how could we know there was anything wrong?  You wrote???!!???  Jessie's email address has been the same for some time (years even).  I changed mine because the hotmail address was hacked and I didn't like the feeling of it being easy prey for future hackers... so I'm with another carrier, also free, but  it feels safer.  Jess never received an email from you in his gmail address.  He doesn't get to check it daily, but he does check it often enough that we would've heard about your difficulties if you'd written where he could receive it.  Do you have a Gmail account address for him?  You could always write to me here via a comment... I DO moderate, so I would not publish yours should you write any personal information.

I know I have not felt any kind of guilt over you or regarding you.  I believe Jess when he tells me he has not, either... He has, though, told me (and I can plainly observe that he has felt) just anger toward you, which I sorrow over greatly.  I don't know why you would think we would or should have guilty consciences since YOU made it very clear that you haven't wanted anything to do with me and fuss at Jess everytime he tries to interact with you via the phone.  I have felt sadness, even great sadness, especially at the beginning of your determination not to have anything to do wtih me, for sure, but not guilt.  Anni, why should be feel guilty?  You have expressed your desire and I have honored it!

Jess called for Christmas and your Birthday because I urged him to do so thinking that you might be kind and willing to communicate in an open and receptive manner.  I have felt urged to contact you (via Jess) because my girls keep asking me to let them write to you for _____ reason... most recently they wanted to write you a birthday letter and send it.  Since I don't have your new address, I haven't made the time for them to write the letters they desire to write.  If I had, they would only get their hopes up of hearing back from you... and since I can't send it, they couldn't hear back from you!  :(  I'm absolutely certain the only reason Jess ever broke down to call you on either Christmas or your Birthday was because of my urging on behalf of our daughters.  I have asked him to call you again, but he refuses.  Our girls have asked when he's going to call you and he gets aggitated and even angry and tells them he'll deal with it when he feels like he can deal with you - so saying in an angry manner.

Honestly, Anni, I feel that you have been most unfair to us.  We have been trying... Jessie has, since you made it ultra clear you didn't want to have anything to do with me - while I attempt to honor your request.  Even now I feel that I am honoring your desire to have nothing to do with me because, although I'm writing to you, it's really passive since I'm writing to you in my own blog.  *sigh*  I honestly cannot figure out what you want from us, Anni.  We love you and would like to have a friendly familial relationship with you, but our every overature is pushed back at us violently... or, at least, that is how Jessie feels.

You have our phone numbers.  They have not changed.  If you truly wanted to get in touch with us, that would be a sure-fire way to do so.  I know you hate me, so don't call me, I'm okay with that.  Call Jess.  Relationships require two parties to participate... not just one making all the efforts while the other rejects them.

I'm very sorry for the tiny bit I comprehend of your difficulties.  I'm sad to hear that you've endured surgeries and we had no idea.  I'm sure we could have only listened, but I, certainly, would have been happy to listen!  I hope we might reconnect in familial friendship and that you will feel able to share about your trials.  Please reach out, Anni.  That's all you need to do.  I am willing.  Jess will be.

With Love,
Tori (and the rest of the Gollihughs here, too)

"Towards" versus "Away From" Motivation

This past week I read a post by a blogger I really like.  She also has a second post, sort of a follow-up, about the same topic, which I recomend.  But the one to which I've linked is the one that started me in the new mental direction I'm pursuing.  Another paradigm shift to rock the end of my 2010!!!  ^_^  The information containted in that post has been causing many "after shocks" in my mind and conversation since.  I'm so interested in and profoundly effected by the recognition of truth and subsequent efforts to synthesize it and create some change in my mind and life resulting from the recognition, that I feel a desire and even need to share the info with those few who may read my meanderings here.

So, here I go!

Motivation is the thing that gets us going in a given direction.  That's basic.  Everybody knows it.  Well, I would assume so anyway.

Have you considered the KIND of motivation effecting your efforts?  The kind may well determine, at least in part (probably large), the outcome of your efforts to move in the direction of your choice.  How?  Let's look at some examples from my life.... just cause you probably know me some and  may be able to identify with some of the examples or, at the very least, will surely be able to comprehend the message that pertains to you from my story.  Stories are awesome that way, aren't they!?

So, let's say you know this perpetually fat girl.  And, since you know me, you DO know at least one!  :)  Now, most people, to look at me, would not call me morbidly obese, but according to the charts I am.  And, at the very least, I feel morbid about my obesity.  ;)  Seriously, though.  I started getting fat, far as I can tell, when I was 10.  Since then I've had two pretty good runs at being thinner.  My thinnest each time saw me a size 10, but not able to drop the numbers on the scale below 160.  Even when I was running 6 miles a day 5-6 days a week.  Yes.  I'm serious.  So... how does this pertain to motivation?  Well, what has always been the "inspiration" when motivated to lose weight?  To get away from being fat, of course.  Okay, so the "of course" really should not be OF COURSE, but for me it has been.

For a good part of my life (most of it!), I've been trying to move "away from" being fat.  I've been motivated away from being fat.  Well, the thing about "away from" motivation (and I can definitely tell you that in my life this truth is hard, cold, and basically a FACT and not just when it pertains to weight issues) is that when our psyche is far enough away from the source of it's motivation, the effort to move "away from" becomes less and less and eventually most "away from" motivated people (me, me, me!) will stop moving "away from" entirely and slowly slide back into habits that caused the problem from which the away to move "away from" motivation arose at the start of the whole process.

On the other end is our family decision to homeschool.  Okay, so in the beginning it was a TORI-decision.  But after Jess saw some of the fruit (Ria reading at 4 years old), he decided to embrage the hog and hop on board.  ^_^  So, since then we've definitely have "towards" motivation working here in our hearts and home.  And how do I know the difference?  Well, when it's gotten very difficult and I've wanted to give up... we haven't.  We have not stopped homeschooling even though the going has gotten VERY tough at times.  We?  Yes.  Jess has pep-talked me back to determination to keep on keepin' on.  It's definitely a team effort here in the Gollihugh home... whether he actually does any "teaching" or not... which he does do, actually quite often, I need my primary cheerleader!!!!  I was and still am definitely motivated by some "away from" sort of inspiration, but the primary reason we keep going is because our Father in Heaven has communicated to us that this is the Path He would have us follow.  And who would want to move "away from" Him!??!!!??

Another example of "towards" motivation for me is our birthing choices.  Sure, there's the desire to move "away from" interventions and "away from" strangers in the process... but for me the first and foremost motivation has always been TOWARD the best experience for my baby, my man, and me (and now our girls, too, of course).    And, of course, needing to confess Christ in ALL things, I must confess that His direction in this is THE last word. 

In my own self, I have always been motivated toward the healthiest (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) way to give our babies the best very first start.  I have been motivated toward doing what I know my body is capeable of doing and doing it in the best way possible, which, for us, has meant: at home, quiet, with our family, midwife, her assistant, and a close friend and/or my Mom to attend to the needs of littles.  Yes, we have out young ones present to watch the birth because we desire that they should see their siblings born that they may know there are no if, ands, or buts about the new one's belonging in our family.  Once again, this has definitely been a choice for which TOWARD motivation must necessarily be within Jess AND me.  Last time (Tea's birth) my midwife had me so riled up and worried that I asked the Lord many times if I could please go to the hospital.  He said no.  I asked Jess if we could go to the hospital and HE said no.  So, the two most important men in my life urged me TOWARD what I wanted most and we three pulled it off with our midwife present to pull the baby out to prevent shoulder distocia (since she was supposed to weigh upwards of 11.5 pounds according to the ultrasound.  :p)  Ain't God GREAT!??

Currently I am working to change my thinking in lots of ways because of the most recent pradigm shifts I've experienced, this whole motivation thing being the most recent one.  One thing I'm really trying to change to TOWARD motivation is how I think about money.  As a result of God's grace and provision for us, we were able to pay off our credit cards prior to becoming unemployed.  Now, during this down-time (when Jess is working, but his income is NOT entirely sufficient for our needs) I'm striving to change my fiscal mind so that when the time comes and we have sufficient and some excess, we will be able to use what we have to great benefit of our family's future fiscal life.

Of course, I'm also working on TOWARD motivation regarding my body.  And then maintaining the TOWARD motivation!

How about you?  Can you see any goals you could apply a change of TOWARD motivation to increase the probability of long-term success?  I hope you experience some mental earthquakes as a result of this info.  I'm sure it'll only be the good kind... to shake your world up and enable you to make it TONS better!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Helpful Weight Related Links

T-Tapp

Explanation and tiny demo

Leg Lift thingy ANOTHER more complete

Back Fat butterfly exercise

Thread the Needle - lower body, about 4 minutes

Lunges the T-Tapp way

Twist the T-Tapp Twist; midsection

Turbo Charge Fat Burning all day

Tricep tightening And another

Foot Fitness the T-Tapp way

Walking workout to step away inches

Balance with T-Tapp

With the Broom



YOGA

A Great Yoga Sequence for weight loss.

Hatha Yoga Flow 4: 55 minute class.  Lots of longer classes in the side bar, too!  :)

After-Baby Body Full Program

Low Impact Exercises

The Firm for weightloss

Interesting Yoga for Weight Loss

Yoga for Weight Loss: Beginners (not my favorite teacher)

Tamilee Webb

Buns of Steel 2000 on YouTube 55 minutes

Abs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 55 minutes

Thighs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 54 minutes

Arms and Abs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 55 minutes

Other
Bikini Body Workout free online

Flirty Girl Fitness Upper Body

Legs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 56 minutes


Zumba Basics 1 hour

Zumba one version

Freelea interesting fruit vegan and what she has to say.

Crazy Guy Exercises... I'm gunna try to get to doin'!  :)

Abs

Crazy Fast Cardio

A Very Merry and totally Miraculous Christmas!

It all started back in late October or sometime in early November.  Projecting our finances, especially after the demotion at River Grille on The Tomoka, I knew we wouldn't be able to afford our "regular" $10 gift Christmas (giving each person $10 to spend on each other person in our little family).  While our norm is really quite reasonable, when you do not have enough coming in, there isn't anything else to go out!

While, in truth, this was at first sort of depressing to me, I came up with a plan that was exciting to me and would include wonderful lessons for our whole family...  The plan?  To allocate only $50 ($10 each), which would be a stretch but much easier than the alternative, and spend it on gift certificates which we would then give to individuals at the homeless camp near-ish our home.  When we discussed this plan as a family, the girls were, at first, sort of disappointed about not getting any presents themselves, but then they caught the vision and were excited about giving to those who need so much more than we.  Ria even came up with a plan to have an art show to sell their art work so that they could have more money to buy gifts for those in need.  Jess agreed with the plan.

Unbeknownst to me, Jess began to reconsider our family agreement.  He was trying to figure out ways he could have gifts to give our girls on Christmas.  Then he was fired from RG and he became, it seems to me, even more anxious to provide gifts for the girls even though the way for him to do so in and of ourselves was even more impossible.  All this without telling me a thing about his thoughts or feelings.

Then, one day in early December he received a phone call from our midwife.  He was out grocery shopping.  She told him about an organization that chooses 100 Chef's in the area each year and then provides gifts for theChef's children.  (My midwife did not know Jess had been fired from RG.)  Jess told me he was in shock when he heard her tell him this and then ask if she could submit wish lists for our girls.  He thanked her while on the phone, but the magnitude of the magnitude of the blessing only hit him when he got to his car, where he promptly began to shed tears of gratitude.

He came home and told me all about it.  I felt angry at first (because he started by telling me he'd been trying to think of how to get gifts for the girls), but as I listened I became aware of the blessing and miracle.  My reaction: "You know this is not about our girls.  This is about YOU.  This is a gift from Father to YOU for our girls because He knows your heart and the wishes of it and He wants to show you that He loves you and that you are worthy in His sight."  I think Jessie heard me this time....  He acknowledged the truthfulness of what I said, at least.

There's more.

My Ward family (earth angels, in my sight) gave us gift certificates to use at Wal-Mart for the girls.  A lot of them.

There's more.

A really sweet family in our Ward was given dresses (just about the sizes of our daughters), which they wrapped and gave to our girls as well as a matching shirt for Mama.  Then, Christmas Eve that same thoughtful family came over to deliver gifts for the girls (2 each, I believe, plus a few gifts for all three)!  A whole family of earth angels, that!

So, our Christmas Tree, when we moved all the gifts to places around it, was so very FULL of gifts.... More full than any Christmas I can remember from my childhood... and I have 5 siblings!  More full than any Christmas Jess can recall (though he does have only one sib).  The only "match" for this Christmas is the Christmas Jessie's sister Anni visited and my sweet, dear friend Heather came to deliver more than 3 large black garbage bags full of presents for our family on Christmas Eve back in 2008 (I think)....  We are so very blessed!!!

Now, some might consider all this story a series of sweet coincidences.  Some might write it off to synchronicity.  Others might say it's a chance collaboration of unlikely events.  Another might say it's luck, or a happy accident, fate, or some other such verbal "write off" of what is REALLY miraculous.  You see, to see miracles, I have learned, it takes an Eye of Faith.  It requires Spiritual Eyes, which are only ever opened BY Fiath, to see what can not be seen by those who would name away that which is plainly seen through Faith... who would close their eyes to what is real and readily before us, but easily explained away.  Yes, it IS easy to explain away!  I used to do it.  Jess has only recently stopped!  But let's call a miracle a miracle and open our dimmed eyes to see the fine threads, invisible without Faith, of Father's awesome plan.  Let's see them as they intertwine and combine to create this magnificent tapestry we live, it makes up our lives!  God's got it!  For sure.  Let Go, Let God.  He will bring so much more than we can provide, if we'll just WAIT ON THE LORD in ALL things!

And so, seeing with my Spiritual Eyes, opened by Faith, I proclaim that THIS, my friends... this Christmas is for Jessie (as well as our daughters, of course... and for me, too, I'm sure, but I just feel SO much that it's FOR Jessie most of all cause it's the wishes and hopes of HIS heart that was answered upon the heads and into the hearts of our children!).  Do you see how the Lord loves him??  And our Father loves us ALL this way!!!  Isn't His Love amazing??!!!??  The way our AWESOME God knows the wishes and hopes of our heart and manifests them in the world when we are simply TRYING to live as He would have us do to the best of our ability at any given time!??!!

Our God is a personal God.  He knows us as individuals and Loves us no matter what.  He knows what we are capeable of right now... as well as what we MAY do in the future if we'll just submit to Him and His knowledge and His guidance and do our best understanding of His Will!  And He blesses us so tremendously for our pitiful and puny efforts to be like our Dear Savior, Jesus Christ.  I must confess Christ in all things.  We are commanded to do so and so I do: This is ALL from Him and we are SO VERY THANKFUL!!!  We are so thankful to those who have acted as instruments in His hands to bless our lives, to bring such temporal manifestations of God's Love into our world this Christmas.  THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you, God.

Merry MERRY Christmas!  I hope His Birthday was a lovely day for you and yours and that some of the wishes and hopes of YOUR heart were manifest in this temporal and saddly fallen world of ours!  :)

This is my truth.  This is my testimony.  And I bear this, my testimony, in the name of our Savior and Risen Lord, Jesus Christ.  AMEN!

End Times: Interesting Stuff

Apparently I did not share much on this when I learned it about a year or so ago. I wanted to fix that especially since my Dad showed interest in this particular aspect of the Path Father has had me on in learning things to bring me to Peace (also more completely to Christ who is the only true bestower of Peace, of course).

What's New With You

As for us:

Jessie is no longer employed at The River Grille on the Tomoka. Good riddance, but I wish it had been under our own choice more than it was. If you're not "in the know," this place of employment has been a pain in the keester for some time now. The "big boss" is not the best of characters and worked hard to manipulate and generally just treat Jessie poorly while he was still the Executive Chef. Jess made it to 18 months in that position, which is about three times longer than any other in a similar position under the "big boss". What does that say about "the man"? Well, I won't even go there, unless you'd like to call and see what I have to say. Surely you can imagine it's not the kindest of stuff.

Yet, we have thanked the Lord for an steady source of income enough to pay for food and gasoline. And now, no more as of Friday.

But then... the Lord steps in. Seriously. God is GREAT. Jessie has a meeting/interview at the work place of a friend's and to our best understanding, he will have a job there with the strong probability that he will be able to work 40 hours per week AND get paid as much or more (hourly) than he was making at The River Grille after he was demoted to a line cook and until yesterday. So, even though it won't be a long-term position (Chef job), he'll be a line cook, we'll be better off than we have been by at least a little bit! Isn't God awesome!?? He turns the bad the world intends, around to the benefit of those who love Him. I BELIEVE this and we have experienced the truthfulness of it over and over. What a GIFT to have such a loving and Faithful Father as our Heavenly Father is!!!

Do not mistake all this praise for a doubtless daughter. Unfortunately I endure darkness of mind and doubts galore. Yet I struggle to argue the deceiver down and out and strive to remain faithful to our Lord. I'm so not terribly successful, but I keep on keepin on... at least. :)

Ria is plugging along with her studies. She is still studying: Language Arts (spelling, parts of speech, how to write, etc), Math, Spanish, Piano, Handwriting, Science (Botony currently), and History (Greek). Hopefully we'll add in an art class soon. Oh, and, of course, she reads daily.

Kat is almost through with the How To Teach Your Child To Read in 100 Easy Lessons book. She's on lesson 88 as of Monday. How exciting, right? She's actually a very good reader and should really be finished by now, but she is a VERY determined little lady and she has wanted for quite a while to NOT learn to read.... So, we couldn't very well make much progree without her participation! ;) What changed? She wanted to learn to write. She started to sort of try to teach herself by tracing letters from books (like Ria's Math book). She did this for a couple weeks. Then I showed her that I had a special HANDWRITING book just like Ria's and all she had to do to be able to do lessons in there with me was to do a reading lesson each day. And what-do-ya-know... Kat WANTS to do her reading lessons now! Amazing, right?

So, just this past week (Wednesday, I believe), Tea decided that she was not going to be left out and left behind. It took me a couple days to understand what the fuss was all about, but Wednesday I finally got it. She was determined that SHE should also do reading and handwriting classes JUST LIKE KAT. She is just SO tickled when I sit with her and work on doing school with her. She is now in lesson 4 of the 100 lessons book. She is two years old, by the way. UH-ma-ZING, right? ^_^ Fun stuff.

As for me... I'm enjoying the movements (STRONG) of our newest addition. I'm very much looking forward to welcoming this one to our family. As of tomorrow, I'm 25 weeks... so I still have a bit to wait. I definitely have enough to keep me occupied. Between my number 1 calling: wife, my number 2 calling: mother, my number 3 calling: compassionate service leader... and then still trying to be a friend, visiting teacher, and so forth.... Well, life is pretty busy.

I'm super happy to have a Washing Machine as of today. An angel had it delivered by two fellows this morning. We were out a wash machine for a couple weeks cause the one we were given soon after we moved here completely died in a way Jessie could not resucitate it. ^_^ Let me tell you, I've been SO very VERY thankful for the "over"abundance of clothing the Lord has seen fit to provide for my kiddos (especially Kat and Tea cause they run through clothes like I don't know what!).

Your turn. What's new with you?

Another of the Things

Tonight I was outside sitting near where my girls were hanging out. Both Ria and Tea had sticks slightly taller than they are - giving them the appearance of shepherdesses. Ria was sort of leaning on her stick (which is actually Jessie's walking stick brought here from our last residence) and Tea was mimicking her posture.

Then Ria got a really dreamy expression on her face and she began, "It's just so lovely here. We're so blessed to live in this beautiful earth and have this wonderful house. We are just so very blessed, aren't we!?"

"YES!" my heart screamed and I told her quietly, so as not to freak my kid out. ^_^ And the spirit whispered, "Singing hymns is really sinking in!" And WHAT a gift and treasure THAT is! I'll share more about the singing hymns thing, in November. It's part of a bit of a project. ;)

Yes, Mom, you know what it is. Please don't give it away in comments - or I won't publish what you write!! ;) heehee ^_^

The Things They Say

Jessie wears glasses because he cannot see well without them (of course).

This morning Ria asked Jess why he wore glasses. He told her he needed them because things looked fuzzy without them. And then her suggestion: "Maybe you see things fuzzy because you haven't cleaned out your eye buggers!"

Jess just looked at her with an sardonic expression. I LAUGHED!

What do YOU think?

Fun Day

Saturday the 24th was a fun day. It was the third annual Water Day sponsored by the Primary of my Ward. It was quite cool. The most entertaining activity was a slip and slide. Now, if you have in mind one of the small narrow blue plastic 'slip and slides' like that which I remember from my youth... well, you wouldn't have a good idea of it by more than half. The actual slip and slide that was employed for much water fun was a white-ish/clear plastic of about 12 feet wide and probably 100 feet long. It was set up in a nicely sloping area of the church yard. It was SERIOUSLY cool.

There were two water hoses held by adults to keep the slide slick AND, said adults, squirted watery dish soap into the mix to make the slide more slick. The kids had a GREAT time with it and it was quite enjoyable to watch. The most fun was had, it seemed, by those adults who took a couple turns to go down.

Tea was not much interested, so I was spared the indignity of trying to skid down for a slide and, instead, landing plop, kerplunk and immovable. Now, I know remaining steadfast and immovable is a commendable trait. It is one I am ever striving to attain and maintain, but on a slip and slide to be as successful at it as I would surely be, well... that's only degrading! ;)

While that all was fun and funny enough, I have to say my greatest enjoyment came from a private experience. Tea, Kat, and I had to use the potty. We rushed around to find a door open, only to realize that the building hadn't been disturbed yet. Thankfully a dear brother came rushing over after someone alterted him to our impending danger! We made it to the bathroom in just the nick of time... for ME! Well, it was not QUITE in the amount of time I would've needed to help Tea AND take care of myself as per our normal routine.

So, since Tea has been doing SO well using the potty on her own, I put her in place and went to the stall right next to hers to do my thing. Just as I finished my stream, I heard, "Yeeeaaauuuuhhhh." It wasn't a rejoicing or a talking noise. It was a distressed one. I asked what was wrong and Tea just sort of whimpered. I consoled her telling her I was geting up right then. Before I even pulled myself together, I checked on her cause she just sounded so pittiful. And what did I find? My youngest and smallest sitting IN the toilet, looking up at me with worry and a sort of disgust in her bright blue eyes. And ALL I could do was laugh! Seriously, I couldn't even pull her up out of the toilet for the first 3 seconds 'cause I was laughing so hard!

When she saw me so full of mirth, her expression slowly changed. First her eyes got a bit crinkly and eventually she smiled, too. Thankfully only a small part of the bottom of her shirt was wet by the toilet water (and her pee-pee). But her shorts protected her from constant contact with it. Perhaps that's really odd to some, but I rarely carry extra clothes with us because my girls have really rarely ever needed such a thing. And I guess I honestly just don't think about accidents of the toilet kind! ^_^

What fun we had on Saturday morning!

Happy Anniversary

Check 'em OUT! ^_^

Happy Anniversary you two!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday Ben!

Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to YOU! Happy birthday, DEAR Be-en! Happy birthday to YoooOUUUuuu!

I hope it's a lovely day in every way!!

We love you down here! ;)

The Same, but Progressing

I've begun to get a sense of the whole "one eternal round" thing that is one of the major phrases used to refer to our Lord. Life is a bit of that, isn't it? I mean, there are lots of minor differences, but mostly lots of similarities... hopefully with some progression stuck in here and there. *_* Yet another way the Lord has us in training to become like Him, seems to me! :)

The things that are the same are the majority.

The new things include, but are not limited to: my calling in my new Ward. I've been called to be the Compassionate Service Leader. I've always thought of the Compassionate Service Leader as a RS calling, and technically it is, but when Bishop set me apart he referred to me as the Ward's Compassionate Service Leader. So... interesting. I've been officially in the calling (with sustaining and setting apart done) for about 1.5 weeks. Apparently a mother of a member in my Ward seems to be on death's doorstep. It will be interesting to see what I'm asked to do after she passes. It could be a lot... or barely anything. Just depends on how much they want to turn over to me, it seems. There is no handbook for the Compassionate Service Leader. That's a tough thing for me because I'm big on following the rules and enjoy being able to see responsibilities I'm meant to fulfill and working to fulfill them. So, I kinda have to make up my own guidelines and such along the way and accept those give me by my Bishop and my RS Presidency. Should be interesting! :)

So far I've sent out a couple cards to Sisters I've felt could use the support/encouragement. The cards were homemade, which I hope makes it more special. I've made a couple calls. Not a big deal thus far. I'm super glad to have a calling again, though. I was feeling SUPER itchy... spiritually... cause I didn't have a VTing route or calling. Still don't have a route, but I know why, so that's all right.


New things for me/us also include a trip to LA on the horizon. I'm so blessed with a Mom who wants me to go with her to see her family there. So, if we Golly's pay out anything for the trip it will be really minimal. My only sorrow over the whole thing is that the girls and I will have to go without Jess... AGAIN. He'll stay home and continue to be overworked, underappreciated, and underpaid. :( I'm still hopeful that we'll ALL get to VA for Christmas! If Jess canNOT go this year, the girls and I will stay home. But if he CAN get vacation, which he's technically eligible for since he's already in his second year at The River Grille, then we'll all go! I hope and pray so!!!

Additionally, but not less importantly, of course, we are 14.5 weeks preggie. I've waited longer than ever to share the news this time because during the first two weeks after I found out (weeks 4 and 5), I had a good bit of spotting and have been worried about the viability of the pregnancy since then. Additionally, though less importantly, yet still a factor, one can never tell, after having two children, how people are going to react to the news about another addition. Why is this important to me at all? Well, I don't want to cast my pearls before swine (and my children - even in utero!- are DEFINITELY pearls of GREAT worth to me!). So, if I wonder if someone will be even a bit negative when learning that I'm preggie, I'd rather note tell them because I want to continue to enjoy the anticipation of meeting my new little person without the negativity of others - including those who have been deceived about the populations' sustainability and/or those who do not believe in God and/or understand His first great commandment and the fact that it is still en-force. So, I keep my joyful news to myself, for the most part. I have started to share the news with a few people who I believe will rejoice with me and/or who I like a lot and believe they will at least pretent joy at seeing my joy. :)

Brace yourself because this next bit may come as a surprise to you: At 11 weeks we actually had a 3 minute ultrasound (I KNOW!) so we could see if the baby's heart was beating. It was. The ultrasound was used because we could not get a heartbeat via the doppler and I'd had some horrible thoughts/feelings (especially the night before the appointment) that the baby was dead, but because I wanted the baby so very much, I was not allowing my body to release. Since we're out of the first tri-mester, I feel more confident that the baby will come along and be born healthy and whole at it's appointed time.

No, we will NOT find out what we're having until the baby arrives. (Due date: early March.) So, don't ask what we're having. We have thoroughly enjoyed finding out which gender baby we just made by looking between the legs at each previous birth thus far.... For me it provides extra motivation during the whole labor and pushing phase. With my history of LONG labors (and not just prodromal!), I need the incentive! ;) At this point, we're simply expecting another girl. If we get a boy... well, that'll be just fine. But we know we make 'em smart and pretty when we make 'em female, so we're totally fine, happy, and excited about that likelihood and eventuality. Based on personal revelation, I expect at least a few more girls who will arrive in our family over the next 8-10 years. So, if one comes along in March (hopefully on Ria's birthday... how FUN would that be!), then it'll be one of the few more we're expecting to welcome. ^_^ Ria wants a brother. I don't mind if she gets what she wants, but I'm rather leaning toward preferring a girl. THAT desire makes me think we'll have a boy simply because I rarely get what I want when I want it. I'm okay with that. Seriously.

If we have a girl, her name will be Evelyn. I've decided on middle names, too, but Jessie has not officially approved them. But we'll call her either Emi or Emm... depending on the middle name(s). I was sure it would be Emi at first, but now I REALLY hope for Emm (because of the middle names I want Jess to approve/like.

Let me tell you about our girl's name and our naming process in general. I've sort of chosen the names all our children. I have these specific ideas about the names I would like and why. I share them with Jess and he approves immediately if it's a go OR he'll say something like, "I don't know... we'll see...." if he doesn't like it. Well, I had suggested any number of girls names after Tea was born for the next girl to join our family. He said no, in his way, immediately to all of them. I was becoming frustrated because for each of the other girls (the ones we already have) Jess was immediately cool with the names I'd carefully considered and presented. Well, I thought really long and hard and finally suggested my sister's first name "Evelyn." Jessie IMMEDIATELY loved it and said YES. So, that's how our fourth daughter has become Evelyn. Now, he has, thus far, disapproved all middle names I have suggested. So, I'm REALLY hoping when I make the suggestion I have carefully considered for some time now, he will immediately jump on board. I have such a strong feeling that Jessie is immediately on board with certain names because he has a sense of who that child is/will be and what his/her name should be. My husband can be a truly amazing and inspired Captain of our little family's ship!

Thus far, should we experience the surprise of a boy, his name will be John Matthew (Mark). Mark is not officially approved by Jess, but I'm hoping! We will call him Jim(m) either way. :) Both Jess and I have Dads whose names are John. Additionally, I have a brother John and a great Uncle John. Matthew is the name of my Uncle who is most like an Elder brother to me and Mark is the name of another Uncle who has been super good and loving to us. I also have a great Uncle Jim who has passed. So, we honor those who have loved us so very much and/or we who love... at least, that's one of the reasons we name our children after members of our family! :)

Progressing... I can see progression in me - especially through the difficult trials I have faced recently. It seems it is true that as we progress, the trials become more intense. Yet, even though that is true for me, my ability to cope and deal is far greater than when the trials were less and easier. The only explanation for this is the strength of the Lord, which I experience in far greater abundance as I apply myself to His Will and turn to Him in all things.

I've been learning in such personal ways the truth of "my yoke is easy, my burden is light" (a quote from the New Testament... I have been striving to make His Word a part of me and will, in the future, learn where I found His Word). I remember a lesson I heard when I was a youth. It was about yokes. Basically the yoke was described as a wooden long thing with two grooves (rises/dips) in it for oxen. The oxen were strapped/tied in and then both stepped in time to pull the load to which they were attached. Father has been showing me how I get in the way of the "machine" by raising my "shoulders" up to bare too much of the burden and/or stepping out too fast, which results in the same effect. Because I am a believer in Christ and His Atonement for everyone, Jesus is in the other yoke right there next to me. He is always in perfect accord with Father's Will, of course, so he will step forward in time with Father's Will. If I do not, I will bare too much of the load or cause the journey to stall (if I'm lagging). Not that the load/burden is not all mine anyway... cause it IS, but because I believe in Christ, I am able to rely on His strength, as I do things in His time, to bring to pass His eternal purposes. It's amazing stuff. And though I've KNOWN these things for basically my whole life, I have come to a deeper and greater understanding of them these last few months. My heart is learning the lessons poignantly!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy happy birthday Mo-om DEAR! Happy days will come to you all year! If I had a wish, then it would be: a HAPPY happy BIRTHDAY to you, from ME! ^_^

You are an amazing person. You provide a tremendous example. I am ever priviledged to consider you and call you my friend. Thank you for loving me the way you do and always striving to be the best person you can be. I love you, Mom!

I plan to/hope to call. Just wanted to make sure some of my thoughts were here, too! :)

Living Without AC: mold

It's something most people don't think about because we don't have to think about it. But air conditioning is a form of slight refrigeration, which is a preservative. If you do not use AC, as we do not use AC, you will learn, at some point during a tremendous summer as we have down south, the truth of "moth and rust doth corrupt" and understand more fully why we should not lay up our treasures on earth where those things (AND MOLD) will destroy those things we value.

The mold started about a month ago. August hit and so did the mold. On the walls. In kitchen cabinet. In boxes: on shoes, clothes, and other random things. It showed up on cavas containers, inside of plastic containers, on containers.... It's everywhere. And it doesn't smell good. Of course, it doesn't look good either. The most upsetting place I found it, though, I think, is on my couch. Behind the big cushions. I found it on a Sunday. So I broke the Sabbath. I felt like it was an"ox in the mire" issue because I was told as a youngster that I am allergic to mold. I would imagine my kiddos may be as well. Anyway... It's been interesting. Frustrating... and on top of all the other trials that have hit over the last month or so... almost debilitating.

Thankfully, as I write, I have begun to feel a lightening of the heaviness and darkness that has hung around our home and the peoples within it. So, things are still difficult (mold is showing up in new places), but I'm managing better.

I hope you can use AC. It's SO much nicer NOT to have to deal with THIS issue!