A Very Merry and totally Miraculous Christmas!

It all started back in late October or sometime in early November.  Projecting our finances, especially after the demotion at River Grille on The Tomoka, I knew we wouldn't be able to afford our "regular" $10 gift Christmas (giving each person $10 to spend on each other person in our little family).  While our norm is really quite reasonable, when you do not have enough coming in, there isn't anything else to go out!

While, in truth, this was at first sort of depressing to me, I came up with a plan that was exciting to me and would include wonderful lessons for our whole family...  The plan?  To allocate only $50 ($10 each), which would be a stretch but much easier than the alternative, and spend it on gift certificates which we would then give to individuals at the homeless camp near-ish our home.  When we discussed this plan as a family, the girls were, at first, sort of disappointed about not getting any presents themselves, but then they caught the vision and were excited about giving to those who need so much more than we.  Ria even came up with a plan to have an art show to sell their art work so that they could have more money to buy gifts for those in need.  Jess agreed with the plan.

Unbeknownst to me, Jess began to reconsider our family agreement.  He was trying to figure out ways he could have gifts to give our girls on Christmas.  Then he was fired from RG and he became, it seems to me, even more anxious to provide gifts for the girls even though the way for him to do so in and of ourselves was even more impossible.  All this without telling me a thing about his thoughts or feelings.

Then, one day in early December he received a phone call from our midwife.  He was out grocery shopping.  She told him about an organization that chooses 100 Chef's in the area each year and then provides gifts for theChef's children.  (My midwife did not know Jess had been fired from RG.)  Jess told me he was in shock when he heard her tell him this and then ask if she could submit wish lists for our girls.  He thanked her while on the phone, but the magnitude of the magnitude of the blessing only hit him when he got to his car, where he promptly began to shed tears of gratitude.

He came home and told me all about it.  I felt angry at first (because he started by telling me he'd been trying to think of how to get gifts for the girls), but as I listened I became aware of the blessing and miracle.  My reaction: "You know this is not about our girls.  This is about YOU.  This is a gift from Father to YOU for our girls because He knows your heart and the wishes of it and He wants to show you that He loves you and that you are worthy in His sight."  I think Jessie heard me this time....  He acknowledged the truthfulness of what I said, at least.

There's more.

My Ward family (earth angels, in my sight) gave us gift certificates to use at Wal-Mart for the girls.  A lot of them.

There's more.

A really sweet family in our Ward was given dresses (just about the sizes of our daughters), which they wrapped and gave to our girls as well as a matching shirt for Mama.  Then, Christmas Eve that same thoughtful family came over to deliver gifts for the girls (2 each, I believe, plus a few gifts for all three)!  A whole family of earth angels, that!

So, our Christmas Tree, when we moved all the gifts to places around it, was so very FULL of gifts.... More full than any Christmas I can remember from my childhood... and I have 5 siblings!  More full than any Christmas Jess can recall (though he does have only one sib).  The only "match" for this Christmas is the Christmas Jessie's sister Anni visited and my sweet, dear friend Heather came to deliver more than 3 large black garbage bags full of presents for our family on Christmas Eve back in 2008 (I think)....  We are so very blessed!!!

Now, some might consider all this story a series of sweet coincidences.  Some might write it off to synchronicity.  Others might say it's a chance collaboration of unlikely events.  Another might say it's luck, or a happy accident, fate, or some other such verbal "write off" of what is REALLY miraculous.  You see, to see miracles, I have learned, it takes an Eye of Faith.  It requires Spiritual Eyes, which are only ever opened BY Fiath, to see what can not be seen by those who would name away that which is plainly seen through Faith... who would close their eyes to what is real and readily before us, but easily explained away.  Yes, it IS easy to explain away!  I used to do it.  Jess has only recently stopped!  But let's call a miracle a miracle and open our dimmed eyes to see the fine threads, invisible without Faith, of Father's awesome plan.  Let's see them as they intertwine and combine to create this magnificent tapestry we live, it makes up our lives!  God's got it!  For sure.  Let Go, Let God.  He will bring so much more than we can provide, if we'll just WAIT ON THE LORD in ALL things!

And so, seeing with my Spiritual Eyes, opened by Faith, I proclaim that THIS, my friends... this Christmas is for Jessie (as well as our daughters, of course... and for me, too, I'm sure, but I just feel SO much that it's FOR Jessie most of all cause it's the wishes and hopes of HIS heart that was answered upon the heads and into the hearts of our children!).  Do you see how the Lord loves him??  And our Father loves us ALL this way!!!  Isn't His Love amazing??!!!??  The way our AWESOME God knows the wishes and hopes of our heart and manifests them in the world when we are simply TRYING to live as He would have us do to the best of our ability at any given time!??!!

Our God is a personal God.  He knows us as individuals and Loves us no matter what.  He knows what we are capeable of right now... as well as what we MAY do in the future if we'll just submit to Him and His knowledge and His guidance and do our best understanding of His Will!  And He blesses us so tremendously for our pitiful and puny efforts to be like our Dear Savior, Jesus Christ.  I must confess Christ in all things.  We are commanded to do so and so I do: This is ALL from Him and we are SO VERY THANKFUL!!!  We are so thankful to those who have acted as instruments in His hands to bless our lives, to bring such temporal manifestations of God's Love into our world this Christmas.  THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you, God.

Merry MERRY Christmas!  I hope His Birthday was a lovely day for you and yours and that some of the wishes and hopes of YOUR heart were manifest in this temporal and saddly fallen world of ours!  :)

This is my truth.  This is my testimony.  And I bear this, my testimony, in the name of our Savior and Risen Lord, Jesus Christ.  AMEN!

Babies Babies Everywhere and Not a One to Touch!

Dance class day.

A little girl, a bit younger than Kat, comes with her Mama and big sister to dance class. The almost 1 year old ALWAYS sits in her stroller, doesn't interact much, and definitely doesn't talk. Probably a month ago Kitty Kat identified her as a baby and has been so attentive to her every Wednesday since, much to the little girl's chagrin! :(

Sage's daughter Mary is another "baby" Kat tries to love. Now, I have to say that Kat is AMAZINGLY gentle! She has been ever since I can remember. People have even commented about how gentle she is and how much she loves babies. But Mary is NOT interested what-so-ever! Sage tells me that at other activities there are toddlers about Kat's age and size who love her not-so-gently, so she thinks Mary is just sort of afraid of the "look" now. Makes sense to me. But try to tell Kitty Kat!

Another Mama of two dance class girls had a baby a month ago. She AND her hubbie brought the girls to dance, so, of course, the new baby was there. The baby was sleeping the whole time, so it took Kat a while to notice her. But when she did she wanted to pet and love her!!! It was sooo sweet. Kitty doesn't say many words really clearly, but she enunciates BABY sure as shootin!!! :)

Poor Kitty Kat has so much baby love and not a baby interested! If you couldn't guess by all of that, Kat is so VERY excited about the baby coming to our family.

Ria informed me today that she knows for sure that we're having a girl. She even told my belly, "I love you, baby Theresa!" I thought this was sweet of course, but tried to convince her to call the baby "Baby" since I won't know that the baby is a girl until I see the baby.

The funny thing about the name is that Jess and I decided on that name quite a while ago. I'm not sure we ever really talked about it with the girls. I'm pretty sure we DID talk about the boy's names a while ago. Well, out of the air one day Ria told me, "I think that if the baby is a girl we should name her Theresa and if it is a boy, we should name him John." The context was that she had asked Daddy if she could name the baby and he told her to ask me. She was asking what I thought of those names. I told her I thought they would be PERFECT. So, Ria is naming our baby! ;)

On to a disturbing incident.

I've been walking the bridge this week for my hour long walks. It's about 4 miles total and I finish it in about 64 minutes. Pretty good for a preggie fat girl!!! ;) Today was my third day on the bridge. It's a great workout! Today, however, I saw, as it were, my daughters' lives flash before my eyes!

Upon coming DOWN the bridge into my town I get to a light. I always push and wait for the little crossing man and then shoot across. Well, I won't be doing THAT anymore! There are a bunch of scrub palms that are set against a fence, which is around a pond, but because of those palms walkers and drivers cannot see each other at this corner. Today, even though the little man (WALK) went up right away I was moving really slowly, for some reason, compared to normal. It actually felt like I was walking in mud.

This is a tremendous blessing because, had I been moving as normal, the car that ALMOST hit us would have either hit the my girls in the buggy or me AND the buggy!

A stupid young female driver almost hit us. And I don't use stupid much to describe people, in general, anymore, but she DEFINITELY was! She had a red light. Rather than stop at the line appointed for stopping at red lights, she zoomed right through the pedestrian crossing area and stopped close enough to the corner that someone in oncoming traffic would have likely been VERY close to hitting her! (Since the little accident I was in when I was preggie with Ria I am a very careful driver and can honestly say that I am pretty darn sure I always stop at the line or before it before I continue driving.)

I was already crossing the street when this girl did her stupid deed and if I hadn't pulled the buggy back she totally would have hit the front wheel, which would have put an end to my walks. (Bad enough, but I've already illustrated the worse outcome!) Anyway... I yelled at her and almost cursed (which you will recognize, I hope, as a sign of how distraught I was!!)! :( But, thankfully, I did not actually say the bad word that shot across the stage of my mind. I said something like, "What the freakin' heck are you freakin' thinkin'???!!!" Loudly enough that I'm pretty sure she heard me even though her windows were rolled up.

A young guy and an older lady were behind me on the bridge, so they saw the whole thing. Right after she almost hit us I think I was overwhelmed by shock, or something, because as the guy crossed the street I totally lost it and started shuddering and crying hysterically. (This reaction is probably explainable by the fact that I'm preggie! heehee ^_^) The guy finished crossing, but then totally stopped and kept checking to make sure I was okay. The older lady was behind him and stood with me while I caught my breath and calmed down. She talked to me a bit, which helped me refocus.

The good from this very bad situation is that I felt deep concern from two complete strangers. This is really wonderful to me because sometimes it feels like people just don't care. So, that was heartening and uplifting to feel. I really feel like I was touched by two angels (as I feel people in our daily lives are the angels most of us see, but, perhaps, don't recognize).

A surprise... and then another....

So, I saw Jess walking toward the front door at about 4:30pm today. My heart did some flops. I felt like I was getting a little hot. (OK, so I just re-read what is written previous to this note and it sounds like something other than I meant it to. SORRY about that. Please continue to read and you'll understand where it's going, I think!)

He comes in the door and very coolly and calmly I say, "What are YOU doin' home?!" He explains that tonight is actually his night off. 'Oh,' I think and I'm sure my whole countenance fell because tomorrow is our Ward social and the first one I thought Jess would make it to with us. I'm sure my face fell also because Jess went on to quickly explain that he was origionally scheduled for tonight not tomorrow night off, but when he was talking to Steve, his boss, Steve asked how many nights Jess was on this week. After Jess told him SIX, Steve told him to go ahead and take tomorrow night off as well!! So, we actually have TWO nights in a row with Daddy!

Of course, does that actually mean he's conscious for the whole time? Uh... do you KNOW Jessie???

If you haven't been able to figure out why my heart was flip-floppin and I got all hot feelin' it's because this scene felt like a re-run of experiences we had WAY too many times before we moved here. Jess was let go from, like, 4 jobs within a year up in VA. It was very upsetting. Each time he was home earlier than I expected him. So, I thought (since I'm a worst-case-scenario-ist, according to our councelor) that he'd been fired. Not that I thought he'd done anything wrong, but I was worried that this was sort of pointing out to me that Jess really SHOULD be doing something different, which has been a focal point of many prayers... trying to make sure we're in the right path, ya know?

Back to the story.... Of course, Jess came home and subsequently fell asleep as he was supposedly doing reading class with Ria. *sigh* I wish I could just randomly fall asleep and the girls actually leave me alone - regardless of what I was SUPPOSED to be doing! But, I suppose Mamas are the tortured... I mean 'totally adored'! hahaha ;)

Instead of fussin at Jess to spend time with us, I fussed at him to go lie down in bed so I wouldn't get even more upset to see him sleeping when I thought we would have some family time. He did. And I took the girls out for our hour-long walk. This is the 4th evening this week of this. And let me tell you, it is NOT very much fun for me! I just wish, so often, for time to just be me... I don't get it on the potty, not while I'm sleeping, not while I prepare food, not while I eat, not while I excercise. But... I shouldn't complain, right? I'm a MAMA, afterall.

Obviously I'm feeling a little peeved about the whole ability my husband has of leaving his job. Ok, so maybe that wasn't so very obvious.... Well, that's the root of all the complaining. I would REALLY like to leave my job for a little while. I wish the hotel thing had happened... but then, of course, I would wish for more than that. But seriously, I think after 4+ years of never leaving my job (and over 1 year of that I was also teaching) I should be able to have ONE day off, right?? ahhh... My fickle fickle heart!

Anyway.

Today has been productive and exciting for me in my "studio." (Right! As if! You know, of course "my STUDIO" is actually our dining room table and if you didn't know, you could just scoot yourself on back to a past post and find out - with pictures even! Back in the day when uploading them didn't totally freeze up my computer!) I worked on, primarily, another team challenge piece. This one is for my SHE team. (Schooling at Home Etsians) And I'm a perfect candidate for that team with my smarty daughter who is only 4 and reading at an almost fluent kindergarden level and even higher with less and less fluency! Can you tell I'm just so totally thrilled with her reading progress?? So, this challenge is "Robin's Egg Blue" and that's all the direction we've had.

If you know me, you will easily guess - and correctly - that this has been torture for me. I really had no idea where to go with it. That is, until yesterday on the hour-long walk. I saw this thing hanging from someone's mailbox and thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to make something like that and call it MAIL BOX JEWELRY?" So, I thought and thought, while I walked and walked and came up with the general idea of what I put into clay today! I'm very pleased with it!! It is baked, but unfinished as yet. The challenge isn't due until May 15th, so you'll have to hold tight for photos. I'm having problems with Flickr, so you'll definitely have to make sure to get added to my friends to see 'em in Photobucket. (Mom, you're already allowed to see those pics, under caregi.... You know the rest. You just have to contact me for the password!)

IN ADDITION to that, I also started AND finished another nursing Mama. I'm very pleased with this one as well. Perhaps more? I'm not sure. It's really great, though. Oh, and I'd previously made the angel that is going to shelter this Mama and IT is very cool, too. :) Not finished... You'll just have to wait for pictures. heeheehee

Man, I love Florida! I'm already getting a really great light tan. Just from walking while the sun is setting! Nice, right!?? Ok, so I know that was totally random, but I thought I would just sort of tempt you... perhaps you want to visit more now? Love it if you did! Try NOT to come in October (like at all!!). If you want to come for OUR Thanksgiving or Christmas, make sure you contact me in advance because we make up our own holidays! You know, you sort of have to do it when hubby works in a field like Hospitality. And, since we don't have family here to dictate that we STAY WITH THE DATE, we just DON'T! Such a priviledge, really.

Ok, so I'm TOTALLY overblowing how wonderful making our own holidays is because I've been feeling a bit down about being away from my extended fam for so long (only 10 months, I need to be strong, this hasn't been all that long. I will surely be away MUCH longer than this before I can get back there!). ahwell....

My First Sale and Other Thoughts

Can you imagine my surprise and pleasure when, as I was going through my items to record the number of views, I found an item missing!?? "Oh, no," you might say, "something way missing?" And I would respond, "It was SOLD!!!" I was (ok, I still am!!) really excited and immediate got to work. So far I've made the inner packaging box, painted it, but still need to complete the paint work. Then I'll have to package it for the mail... a bit larger box and protective stuffing. I'm sooo happy! If you have offered prayers in my behalf for my shop, I thank you. I'm so grateful and very very hopeful! Now, you may wonder what it was that someone bought. Well, I'm happy to show you!

Today I've posted a new item in my shop. I'm very pleased with it for a few reasons. One of those reasons is that I just felt SO good when I was making it! I was thiking about my Mom and her dreams for a rose garden and rose bathroom... and how much she enjoys gardening and how that has influenced me. So, I was pretty happy with it after it was baked and in process of completion. But then Jessie saw it out and he asked if that's what I had made that day. I told him I'd actually made it the day before, that it had taken ALL day, and then asked what he thought. He picked it up, looked at it more carefully, and then told me that he was really impressed with it and that he thought it looked really pretty. (I'm so glad I have a hubbie who is comfortable saying things that are meant to be pretty ARE pretty!) Then, today I asked for his opinion on pricing it. He told me, "At least $20. It took you so long!" And I knew the other unsaid compliment was that it was so good... you see, he'd already told me that part, so he didn't feel it needed re-iteration (though I would have loved to hear it anyway!). :) Next are a few pictures of that piece. I'm calling it Garden Angel.

I couldn't manage to get the smile in the marbeling to show up when I wasn't using the flash on our camera. So, that's why the last picture is so bright and shiny. I love shiny, though! :)




I've learned about three other girls that I knew in my youth, who are ETSIANS. It's been really neat to realize the little world of ETSY is pretty well-known. :) I'm so excited to have found it and started my own little place in this big business world. Keep wishin me some luck!!! And the prayers are even more awesome! Maybe we can replace one of Jessie's jobs with me work!!! Oh, to have my husband home....

I have a crush! I already told Jessie and he's ok with it. See, I found this amazing artist on ETSY and I want this person to be my friend! But how do you ask someone with whom you are potentially a competitor to be friends? I had it all worked out. I was going to write to the artist and say, "I LOVE your work!! Would you be my friend? Oh, and by the way, are you a boy or girl?" That last bit is only important because I TOTALLY have a crush and would feel way more comfy if the crush is on a FEmale artist than a MALE one. Ya know? Are you curious? Well, I'm not sure I should actually share the info... since this person really IS my competition... especially because I was planning to make cake toppers and such... but I REALLY admire their work, so I'm going to share the link anyway! http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=7403869 This should bring you right there. BUT if it doesn't, http://boogiebabys.etsy.com/ really should!

So, I did mention that I had some other thoughts (not ETSY related). I'm just so enamored!

Ria is all about working now! It was so funny. Yesterday, she kept asking to make something with clay. I did explain to her that we weren't going to do any play or anything with clay or the computer since that's what we did for work, even though we love doing it, because it was the Sabbath. Well, she didn't like that at all. Then, she asked if she could play with playdough. I had to then explain that even though it's a different medium, it's too similar to what we use for our work. I'm happy and excited that she loves to create! It IS a joy!!!

Kitty Kat also enjoys working with the clay. She will actually sit for up to 45 minutes, in her little desk/chair, and work with sculpy! Now, if you know Ria you may not think this much of an accomplishment. So I feel it important to explain that Kat does NOT sit still. She is a much more active child than Ria. Her attention span is shorter and pickier! She's just a different girl, as she should be. So, the fact that she's sit there and work on anything for longer than 20 minutes it SERIOUSLY amazing! Oh... and usually Kitty will stand up like she's finished, but then see how intently Ria and I are still working, and then sit back down and work some more! Her work habits are also unusual in that she doesn't try to get my attention every 2 minutes to show me what she's made. She will work the ball of clay I give her until she has her desk area covered with smaller odd shaped pieces, then get my attention to show me one particular item and after I comment on it she will look down at her other work and then up at me and wait for my comments! Isn't that hilarious!??? I LOVE IT!!!!

So, even if the work I'm trying to do now does not blast off, the experiences I am gaining of and with my daughters are treasures!!!

hmmmm.....

I will have to do some work on pictures so that I can share some more of the girls. We have some great bubble pictures that we took yesterday with and of Daddy. It was his special time with the girls before he went to work. I have not yet uploaded those pictures to my computer.

So, Heidi, my best friend since I was 12!!! Checked out my shop and gave me some more ideas of things to make. So, today I went shopping and now have some shadow boxes. She suggested I made some shell scenes, like my 2 Beach Angels and the Snow Angel and put them in shadow boxes. The reason for the suggestion is really smart, so I'm going to fly with it. That particular item will not appear in my shop for a while, though, because those shell scene are very time consuming and I need to be able to put my thoughts together for a larger scene than 3" diameter! But I'm excited about that. I'm also going to make free standing angels, rather than just ornaments. (Also a suggestion by Heidi!) She thought that some people might like the angels because they collect Angels, but prefer something that is not an ornament. So... Do YOU have any suggestions or ideas for me?? If you let me know what they are and give me a reason or a couple for the idea and why it could be good, you may see your name in my Blog!! hahaha, not that I get terribly much traffic... but still! You can email me at secretsshallebb@hotmail.com

Ria Is 4!

Can you believe I have a four year old? It's hard for me to believe it's been so long, yet not. She had a really wonderful birthday, thanks to lots of calls from family and many Happy Birthday wishes. She even heard a few folks sing the birthday song just for her! It was really sweet and she has A BIG smile on her face as she listened.

We are carrying over a tradition my Mom started with her own children. She gave us our choice of dinners for our birthday. Ria chose enchiladas. Now, these are not Mexican-style, they are cajun... and my own personal favorite, by the way. :) She has very good taste, my daughter. They entree takes quite a while to prepare and Jess had to purchase a few of the ingredients FOR the dinner AND cake/icing, plus he still had to work that evening, so yesterday morning was a bit busy to say the least. I was only able to prep a few things, so once he and Ria got home from grocery shopping (their special "date") we were very busy for a few hours. But we were able to enjoy a family lunch for Ria's birthday and it was really lovely! She was so very pleased with everything for her and still smiles SO big when Daddy comments on her new age. She is so very pleased to be 4!

I'm ever so slowly getting things rolling for my newest venture into online selling on ETSY. I'm very excited about it and very hopeful, still. Since being back online, I've been able to reconnect with a friend from Australia and found out that she is a seller on ETSY! What a small world, eh? So funny... and exciting! My seller name is going to be Torimade and I've actually joined under that, so it sort of exits, but I haven't posted anything for sale. Like I said, I'm going very slowly. Ria got me back into working on angels and my other clay creations because she really wanted to make an angel for her birthday. So, we did that for family home evening last night and talked while we worked. Then she wanted to get right back into it this morning first thing. So, as a result, I've got 3 angels made and a baby picture frame almost finished. The picture frame is pretty new for me. The first one I made I gave as a wedding gift to Evelyn Pieper just this last summer. I was pretty please with it, but I don't know if it's a kind of thing others will buy. We shall see, right?

Now, I don't know if I would like to live in a small town that was isolated from others by time and space, but I do have to say that I have learned some nice perks of living in a small town. For instance, our librarian knows us by name and knows our routine for visiting our little library in town. Last week was THE worst for our icky stuff illness and we totally missed both of out library trips (skipped the crochet teaching night and story time). Friday, the day after story time, Ruth called to check on us! Can you believe it? I was so touched. I finally called back today (library is closed Sunday and Monday) and thanked her for the call and let her know we HAD been sick and appologized for having items out late. She told me not to worry about it at all and let me know she had renewed everything because she'd figured something had come up to keep me away. Isn't that the coolest? Well, I thought it was pretty awesome, myself.

We are still fighting the lingering effects of the CRUD we've had. Our sleep schedule is totally out of whack, to boot! UGH. We girls ended up taking a THREE hour nap this afternoon, which is totally unusual under normal circumstances. As a result we woke up right before SEVEN PM! BLAH! *sigh* But, we are slowly improving. The snotties are slowly clearing and maybe diminishing. The girls still wake in the night coughing a bit, but I think it's less often now (maybe... hopefully!).

I'm afraid Jess might be catching the funky junk we've had. He was up coughing a lot last night. If you would, send a prayer that he stays strong and healthy. It's a hard thing being an hourly worker and the sole breadwinner!

We are not happy about a change approaching for Jessie's morning job (The Almond Blossom Cafe). The owner is planning to join her establishment to a gym in The European Village. There are MANY reasons we are unhappy about this change. For one, the new location is quite a distance from us. If Jess were to continue working there, he would have to drive an additional 24 miles each day, plus pay a toll every day to get to his night job, AND not be able to come home between jobs for lunch. Now those are our personal problems with it. There are many other reasons this move is, as we see it, a detriment to the business in general, which Jess cares about because he has a lot of time and effort invested into this thing. The move would mean fewer seats for potential diners and also, because of the venue, the likelihood of selling full-on meals would decrease, so too would revenue. The boss is saying that she's unhappy with the current state of things because she's only breaking even. SHE's ONLY BEEN OPEN EIGHT MONTHS!!!! Most retaurants LOSE money for the first YEAR (if they are lucky they'll break even during year two and then possibly make money year three). And she's unhappy. Ignorant, is really the truth of it. She's never known what to REALLY expect from this industry, which is one thing she said she wanted Jessie for - to inform her about the food industry. But he tries and she totally ignores him! Very annoying!!!! So, those are just a few of the issues. I could continue to rant, but I think I'll leave it alone for now.