On Obedience

This post has been a few weeks in the making.  Probably longer, really... but a few weeks ago i read a post on the blog of a woman in my Ward (church group).  There are many things i greatly admire about this particular woman, i am glad, as with almost all the women in my church, to call her Sister.  She has some very different perspectives and political positions from me, but, for the most part, i really respect her.

Unfortunately, my respect did diminish slightly when i read the post about which i'm thinking and have been pondering.  My concern is for her, a little... mostly, though, i feel greater concern for/that any youth in our Ward or the Church at large may find her blog, admire her, read this particular post and then make wrong and detrimentally life changing choices as a result of her and their admiration of her and potential acceptance of her ideas (particularly the one about which i'm thinking and preparing to write about now).

My blog is not popular or well visited, for the most part, so i'm relatively certain that she does not read here, but if she does (you do), please forgive any offense.  Truly, my intention is not to offend or pass judgement or be mean or anything like that.  My hope is to correct in love - but not necessarily the Sister (you?) who wrote the blog, but more specifically: the ideas presented therein.  It seems unlikely that anyone who reads her (your) blog would also read mine, but i rather hope that if there are any youth that read hers, they will also stumble upon this particular post.

The topic of this post is rated R movies.

This is the topic my Sister addressed in her blog.  It saddens me to say that i almost desperately disagree with the dangerous position she presented, which is, basically, that she's smart enough to ignore our Leaders' direction, suggestion, warning... that we should NOT watch rated R movies.  This direction is not age specific.  I do believe the warning pertains to all members of the LDS Church.

One thing i know is that the R rating currently is much worse than it was years ago.  When the Leaders of my Church began to warn against viewing movies of this rating, the contents were bad enough, but as our society descends ever farther and faster into thinking and practicing evil ways as a matter of course, the rating goes right along with it.  Today, PG-13 is comparable to the rated R of years ago.

Confession.  I am ashamed to say that i went against a decision i made when i began to attend church again to avoid rated R movies and watched one a few months ago.  Another confession: while away from the Church, i was exposed to pornography.  These two confessions come together because there was nothing soft about a particularly graphic scene that was also pornographic in the rated R movie i watched.  My regret over having this particular scene now in my mind with all the other crud i have there available for replay at completely inappropriate times, is tremendous.  The movie was neat... but to me, at this time in my life and Spiritual progression, it is and was not worth the price i pay.

Perhaps the Sister whose blog i keep referencing doesn't have such a brain as mine.  A brain that has such issues with images and recall (especially the random remembrances).  But i believe there will be someone who does who is or will be influenced to do what will harm them by her position, which is put and argued eloquently (as is basically all of her writing).   Perhaps watching the movie to which i refer would not be a trouble or a harm to this particular Sister... but that doesn't mean the choice to watch it is right.  Disregard of direction is still a form of disobedience, isn't it?

Bad stuff is still bad stuff regardless of how the world may esteem it.  My position and arguement is not cool.  It's not popular.  It's not pleasing unto the eyes and minds of men.  But i truly believe it is what the Lord would prefer for us.  He has our VERY best interests at heart.  He wants only the best for us.  If we ingest poison - whether into our body or mind - it will harm us eventually.

While watching the rated-R movie i confessed about above, i was very uncomfortable sitting alone during the pornographic scene. Given my recent history and experiences, i would have probably violently turned the movie off and run away crying if i'd watched it with my husband. As it is, it sickens me to know he saw it at another time.  If my Savior had been visible to me, sitting next to me as i watched that movie, i would have been VERY uncomfortable to watch the pornographic scene.  Who am i kidding?  i would've never turned it on if he was visibly next to me!  (Thus my guilt over my wrong choice.)  The most important of these discomforts is how i would feel watching it with Jesus Christ, of course.  I should not have done it.  Knowing this (and i really knew it before i watched), i yearn to "preach it" to others... that YOU may avoid the guilt and necessary repentance and that you may completely avoid the potential replays you'd not prefer to have in your head.

Please be wise!

As Elder Sorensen said in 'You Can't Pet a Rattlesnake' back in a April 2001 General Conference address, "Don’t allow the poison to touch your souls, brethren. Remember, “He that is righteous is favored of God."  Those words, 'brethren' and 'he,' by the way, are as readily applicable to women as men.  It's universal in the context of the talk even though he was speaking to men... it's not just for the Brothers of the church and/or world.

i pray you will receive this in the Spirit in which i have written it.  Love.