I wondered, when I experienced miscarriage last year, if the baby's estimated due date would be upsetting at all.
Since today is that day, and because it matters to me, I wanted to share how I feel.
I feel better.
I am super grateful to be pregnant on this date. I think it would be a more difficult un-birth-day if I wasn't. Truly. If I wasn't preggie, I would only mourn and not be sure I would have the opportunity to look forward to holding a new little person.
Since lots of ladies I know have shared that they are glad to hold others' babies, but equally glad that they won't have to deal with one of their own, I can only imagine that I will feel similarly some day. However, I am NOT there yet. I ache to hold, nurse, and feel even more fatigue (assuming this new baby is like my girls) than I do now. Obviously, I'm not done having babies! And since I'm preggie, I don't have only mourning on my mind.
God's wisdom is far greater than my own! At the time we conceived, I did not want to get preggie. I was feeling overwhelmed by certain things going on and didn't think I could emotionally deal with a pregnancy only 3 months after pregnancy loss. Well, in a way I was right... but in the longer-term, I was definitely wrong. I'm so glad God is able to know the end from the beginning!!!
Given the above, I'm WAY better today than I was in the early months of pregnancy. Being half-way through and not knowing when I'll get home is pretty interesting. I want to clean my nest and cannot... so I'm trying to satisfy myself in my parents' nest. ;) I sure am glad God knows how this will all play out!