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First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Life Without...

So, I've willingly given up a lot pretty recently. They were things I would've had to let go or do without (once I got the electric bill!), but giving it up of my own accord certainly made it easier. I definitely know the difference since we lost AC in the house we used to rent about 2 months before we moved out of it. So, I already knew what it feels like to lose something I like and didn't want to give up.

As of today... I am without phone. Oh, the pain! No... SERIOUSLY! My anxiety level has about tripled. So, what did I do? I watched a movie. I've said for some time now that TV is the middle-class man's opiate. So, once more I prove myself super weak and ineffective. But at least I didn't do what I first thought about doing! Wathing the movie definitely DID the work I hoped it would do. Now... need to borrow many more movies from the library... No, not really... but maybe. *sigh*

Obviously, it has not been easy for me to lose my phone. One of my first thoughts was that I would just return to FaceBook use a little earlier than I'd planned. Well, I've talked myself down from that skyscraper, but it's still really tempting! So, you see, I really have done better by watching a movie than my first thought!!!! ;)

Don't we all feel a bit safer because of phones? I mean, we can call for help at home or abroad and know that someone will answer almost immediately! We can call and check on our loved ones when they have been absent a bit too long. We can SPEAK to another adult using large-ish words AND be completely understood... or at least, with a phone we have the ability to do so at any given moment.... Even if we don't actually make any of those kinds of phone calls... we could! Now, I can't. I think that's among the top reasons my anxiety has increased so dramatically. Thankfully my modern-day opiate is still effectively working even though the movie ended a few hours ago.

I was able to return to my current "extra" work with the opiate soothing my jangled nerves. The work? Helping Jessie find restaurants to which to apply in person as well as and applying on his behalf online. It's time consuming work and the online applications can require some writing (but not the fun kind)... so it can be stressful on top of the effort to simply maintain things around the house.

Pray for us. We are praying for a miracle, really, at this point. Jessie will submit his two weeks' notice in about 5 or 6 days. So, I'm sure you can now understand more fully the number one reason for my anxiety level to be anything more than the regular mild stress of home-stay-Mama-ing.

The Lord directs and we do. THAT is the reason for the upcoming submission of notice and that's all there is to it. I honor my patriarch and must trust in his understanding (after questioning much). So, I'm sure it'll be all right. But I'm equally as sure that your prayers will carry us some... or, maybe, I'm hoping they'll lift me. I could really use it right now. Thank you, in advance, for caring enough to send a few good thoughts and words of support to our Father in Heaven on my little family's behalf!


vicki said...

OH, No! why no phone?
Did you actually lose it? I hope you FIND it.
Prayers your ways ASAP!
Gotta get to work or I'd be writing more.
love, mom

Tori said...

I'm sorry I wasn't clear in the post... the phone was left in a bathroom and subsequently walked away from the bathroom on its own. :( So, no phone.

Just for you, Mom, I am thinking about one of the "terrorist" phones for emergencies... but it would be REAL emergencies... not just "Mama feels the crazies comin' on," kind of emergency.

Thank you for the prayers!

Markovitz said...

Tori!! I just want you to know that I love you and I've totally been praying for you, before I read about this post. It seems that I'm finally doing something right! :)
I miss you, sister!! I hope your days will continue to get better and stress-free.
xoxo Tae

Markovitz said...

p.s.- I've been meaning to give you my blog address and of course have been brain dead for the past couple of weeks.
I'm going to send you an invitation because I set it to private not too long ago.

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