Thankful Thursday: My Baby Girl

I am thankful that, even when sick, my baby girl is super sweet and a happy little one!  She is truly amazing!

She's still got a hanger-on cough and snot nose, but she's getting better.  I'm so thankful she is healthier than she was.  I'm also thankful to know now what I didn't understand or believe when I was a younger mom, which is: overcoming illness strengthens my children's body-systems.  With the way this world is, currently, we have to get sick to get stronger.

I am thankful for all of my children.  They are, even when among my trials, my greatest gifts in this life.  Praise the Lord for life and them in it!

My Family

 

My three girls love babies... even before they are born! 

Me and My Family

The Etch-A-Sketch has become very popular around here.  It seems that all of my girls really enjoy it.  One seems to have something akin to a gift in this medium.  She can sit down and produce a picture in under 5 minutes.  Which daughter do you think I'm referring to?  Let me know after you check out these pictures!  :)

Ria showing her reindeer with spots.

Kat with her first ballerina.

 

Tea with her squares.  ^_^

 

 

If you think Kat may be the prodigee, then you and i think alike.  She has produced MANY of these ballerinas.  Each takes no longer than 7 minutes, with most taking a lot less time than that!  She has also produced some other pictures i seem not to have taken pictures of.  I'll do better and share them wtih you in the near future.  Maybe we'll make an Etch-A-Sketch post a regular thing!

If you would like an official print of one of these creations, i KNOW my girls would love to sell them.  They have so many goals and business ideas... all of which require money to begin their ventures.  So, if they could sell pictures of their etch-a-sketch creations... that would definitely help them!  Oh... and each picture will be available only in a limited number of prints... these could easily be REALLY valuable in the near future!  Don't miss out!!!  ^_^

On Being Disbelieved

It's just a small annoyance, really.  A blip on the radar, compared to lots of bigger and more troubling things that have occurred in my life.  But, unfortunately, like on a radar, the blip keeps popping up every time that sweeping arm circles 'round again.  And so I wonder, "Why is it that my intelligence is so frequently quesitoned/tested by males with whom I interact (real life/FB/doesn't matter)?  Why is what I say/write so often disregarded or disbelieved by males with whom I have contact?"

Please do not mistake me.  I am not the smartest girl in the world... blog-o-sphere... block... in my church group... circle of friends... whatever.  I know it.  I'm totally okay with this truth.  Honestly, the other day I was thinking about a lady I admire who is MUCH smarter and generally intelligent than me and I just kept thinking how wonderful it was to feel such a desire to emulate her and become smarter than I am now.

When individuals who tend to be male seem to believe that I haven't got a bit of sense in my head... well, it's pretty annoying.  It's just annoying to me.  Would that annoy you in any way, shape, or form... ever?
 "Why in the world would I think such a thing?"  I can practically hear you wonder this question as you read.

Well,  I'm glad you asked, cause I wanted to explain that a little.

I'll start with my good man, my husband.  Obviously I love him.  He IS a REALLY good man.  And he says he knows I'm smart.  That's one of the reasons he loves me, from what he says.  However, when I learn things... things that are contrary to the mainstream way of doing or thinking, especially... he discounts the value of the new information I have learned because... why?  Because I, tori, share it with him.

"Why would I think THAT?"

Well, because he fights me on decisions which impact our family which I have made about these unpopular (often generally unkown bits of information), which I have gained as a result of personal research and witnesses of the Holy Spirit until...

wait for it...

Until he hears the same thing from another male... whether a friend, aquaintance, voice on a podcast... doesn't really matter.  He finally believes me when he hears the same thing from another male.
How freakin' frustrating is that?  I mean, would you feel frustrated by that behavior from your man?  Well, it's frustrating to me.  Seriously.
And this has now been going on for, at least, the last 5 years.  Honestly, it's been going on since we got married and maybe even before, but MUCH more pronouncedly since I began to learn greater amounts of "alternative" information with greater frequency.
But it's not just him.  If it was limited to my husband, well... I guess I could understand because of issues from his childhood and the whole man-want-dominance-thing.  But it's not.

I guess, though, that last sort of phrase with the hyphens could explain a good bit of the problem across the board, eh?

I shared some info with a couple/few brothers of mine (literal brother from the same Mother) and they didn't believe a bit of it.  When they found similar information online and then dug a bit and found lots more of it they changed their minds.  But they didn't believe me.  And my Dad is in the mix, too.

Okay, so family... well, they know me too well, so I could just explain it away with that.

But no.  It's not just male family members.  (Yes, some female family members just don't believe me, either.  But it's pretty much across the board with the guys.)

I make Public posts on Facebook.  Some on purpose, some because I forget to change the little thingy at the top (or is it the bottom) to Friends only.  And there is one fella with whom I've now had two experiences.  And having two is pretty important because they played out REALLY differently for a rather exasperating (to me) reason.

The first experience: I shared something that is a non-mainstream perspective.  I have researched it and believe strongly that the mainstream perspective is kinked.  It's been spun so much that there are knots in it that cannot be unknotted.  Anyway... this fella commented on my post.  So, I commented back with further information.  He commented back in such a way that I knew this guy wasn't going to back down and was already basically saying I didn't know what I was talking about.  So, I didn't respond again.  He's going to believe what he believes both about the subject and me.  I can't (and don't want to try) to change his opinion because I don't need or want the excitement (aka: drama).  I increasingly feel a GREAT distaste for conflict and arguement.
Next time I posted something similar (non-mainstream perspective)... This time I was simply not going to respond to his comment (which seemed to me to be another push to try to engage me in reparte which would lead to nothing because he wouldn't change his perspective because of ME).  This first comment of his looked like the first comment on the other post... relatively non-confrontational.  But I have used up my patience for other people trying (or seeming to try) to convince me that I don't really know what I'm talking about.  As it happened, Jessie was home and looking at my FB and I shared my annoyance with him.  Then, I offhandedly asked if he wanted to comment on my post.  So, he went into his FB and commented.  Wanna know what happened?

Nothing.

Yep.  That's right.  That fella who pressed me in a testing/disbelieving sort of way after my response to him in the first instance, totally backed down when Jessie responded to him.  He made some comment about how he lived in Cananda (so he wouldn't know about that subject because it was USA contained).  WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

I actually really put a great deal of thought and effort (read: pondering and prayer) into the things I believe and position I take on every subject on which I have a position.  I don't just go willy-nilly grasping onto ideas that are different just for the sake of thier difference.  I know there are those who believe this of me.  I've had this very accusation verbally flung at me face-to-face, as a matter-of-fact.  Not a pleasant experience, I can guarantee you.  Very painful, actually.  I've never been shot, but I have accidentally cut myself pretty deeply... and the pain is almost exactly like that!

Whoever originally came up with the foolish little childhood ditty:  "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me," obviously never experienced attacking words flung at them from a loved one.  Cause you know, this can easily be true of words flung at us from those we are not wide open to (wide open referring to our hearts and energetic systems).  Anyway...
My question at the outset remains: why is it that the men in my life... family and not... seem to think information from my mouth is not worth much?

So I Do, For Much The Same Reason

When a Partner Refuses Children

I don't have all that much experience with this subject, but felt like I must write something about it.  I'm really not sure why because I don't think there are all that many people (other than my fam) who read here, but here goes!  ^_^

So, I know of some folks who are not in agreement.  It's so very difficult to be in a place of not agreeing with your spouse.  I DO know a LOT about THAT, unfortunately.

Anyway... I know a couple ladies... good Christian ladies, strong in the LDS Faith (at least, seems to me they are) who refuse to have any more children even though their husband desires more and feels strongly that they should have more.  I know, for sure, that at least two of the ladies I know of  are afraid of having more children.  One of them is afraid because of health reasons.  The other is afraid because of a combination of health and financial reasons.

I love all the people I know who refuse more children.  I'm not standing in judgement of them.  I simply do not understand their refusal.  I used to feel angry about this lack of understanding on my part and I'm sure others may have misunderstood and thought I was angry at them...  But, you see, I think I'm pretty okay in the intelligence arena.  I'm not the cream of the crop, or anything, but I can wrap my mind around some pretty interesting and possibly even dificult subjects.  But I simply cannot wrap my little brain around refusing more children.  I mean, I understand the words these folks speak, but I just don't get how those words jive with their Faith.

Don't get me wrong.  I have my own issues where Faith and trust mash and don't mesh.  I have begun to remember something from my childhood and it has caused some seismic shocks unlike any of the transformational psychic shifts I've experienced in the last 8 years.  And the shock waves issuing forth from the partial memory remembrance have, combined with other experiences (a plethora, actually), created the circumstances in which I have made certain choices about trust.  To trust or not to trust, that is the question.  And I've chosen to cut way back on trusting as a result of my experiences.  There are those who would say that this is counter to having Faith and I would simply respond that they don't have enough information... and, sorry to say, but I'm not sharing the pertinent data.  In fact, I would say that I have been Led (of our Father God) to cut way back on trusting.  He is teaching me to be other than my nature.  Makes perfect sense, really.  The natural (wo)man is an enemy to God.  My nature just happens to be a bit too open as far as God is concerned.

However, when I ask whether the decision (among those I have ventured to probe this deeply) to refuse children was inspired of the Lord, I have yet to receive an affirmative answer.  The responses rest heavily on the understanding of men... the philosophies of men, if you will.  I know of one couple who recently had their final child.  I never asked, because it came up in the course of conversations, but this family truly believes that Heavenly Father has approved their family size.  And to the extent that I understand this family, it seems likely that they are absolutely correct.  I understand that.  I feel sorta sad that they are so young (younger than me and not having more children just seems young... silly, but still!),

Dear Anni

Dear Anni.

Since Jess called to wish you a Happy Birthday on your birthday, I have dickered over whether to write to you here or not.  Since this is the only way I can think of interacting with you... as I do not have your email address (it was lost during my email address change), do not have your snail mail address, and only have your phone number via Jess... and you told me not to ever call again, so I am trying to honor your requirement.  Finally, today, my courage has won out.  So I write.

Anni, how could we know there was anything wrong?  You wrote???!!???  Jessie's email address has been the same for some time (years even).  I changed mine because the hotmail address was hacked and I didn't like the feeling of it being easy prey for future hackers... so I'm with another carrier, also free, but  it feels safer.  Jess never received an email from you in his gmail address.  He doesn't get to check it daily, but he does check it often enough that we would've heard about your difficulties if you'd written where he could receive it.  Do you have a Gmail account address for him?  You could always write to me here via a comment... I DO moderate, so I would not publish yours should you write any personal information.

I know I have not felt any kind of guilt over you or regarding you.  I believe Jess when he tells me he has not, either... He has, though, told me (and I can plainly observe that he has felt) just anger toward you, which I sorrow over greatly.  I don't know why you would think we would or should have guilty consciences since YOU made it very clear that you haven't wanted anything to do with me and fuss at Jess everytime he tries to interact with you via the phone.  I have felt sadness, even great sadness, especially at the beginning of your determination not to have anything to do wtih me, for sure, but not guilt.  Anni, why should be feel guilty?  You have expressed your desire and I have honored it!

Jess called for Christmas and your Birthday because I urged him to do so thinking that you might be kind and willing to communicate in an open and receptive manner.  I have felt urged to contact you (via Jess) because my girls keep asking me to let them write to you for _____ reason... most recently they wanted to write you a birthday letter and send it.  Since I don't have your new address, I haven't made the time for them to write the letters they desire to write.  If I had, they would only get their hopes up of hearing back from you... and since I can't send it, they couldn't hear back from you!  :(  I'm absolutely certain the only reason Jess ever broke down to call you on either Christmas or your Birthday was because of my urging on behalf of our daughters.  I have asked him to call you again, but he refuses.  Our girls have asked when he's going to call you and he gets aggitated and even angry and tells them he'll deal with it when he feels like he can deal with you - so saying in an angry manner.

Honestly, Anni, I feel that you have been most unfair to us.  We have been trying... Jessie has, since you made it ultra clear you didn't want to have anything to do with me - while I attempt to honor your request.  Even now I feel that I am honoring your desire to have nothing to do with me because, although I'm writing to you, it's really passive since I'm writing to you in my own blog.  *sigh*  I honestly cannot figure out what you want from us, Anni.  We love you and would like to have a friendly familial relationship with you, but our every overature is pushed back at us violently... or, at least, that is how Jessie feels.

You have our phone numbers.  They have not changed.  If you truly wanted to get in touch with us, that would be a sure-fire way to do so.  I know you hate me, so don't call me, I'm okay with that.  Call Jess.  Relationships require two parties to participate... not just one making all the efforts while the other rejects them.

I'm very sorry for the tiny bit I comprehend of your difficulties.  I'm sad to hear that you've endured surgeries and we had no idea.  I'm sure we could have only listened, but I, certainly, would have been happy to listen!  I hope we might reconnect in familial friendship and that you will feel able to share about your trials.  Please reach out, Anni.  That's all you need to do.  I am willing.  Jess will be.

With Love,
Tori (and the rest of the Gollihughs here, too)

"Towards" versus "Away From" Motivation

This past week I read a post by a blogger I really like.  She also has a second post, sort of a follow-up, about the same topic, which I recomend.  But the one to which I've linked is the one that started me in the new mental direction I'm pursuing.  Another paradigm shift to rock the end of my 2010!!!  ^_^  The information containted in that post has been causing many "after shocks" in my mind and conversation since.  I'm so interested in and profoundly effected by the recognition of truth and subsequent efforts to synthesize it and create some change in my mind and life resulting from the recognition, that I feel a desire and even need to share the info with those few who may read my meanderings here.

So, here I go!

Motivation is the thing that gets us going in a given direction.  That's basic.  Everybody knows it.  Well, I would assume so anyway.

Have you considered the KIND of motivation effecting your efforts?  The kind may well determine, at least in part (probably large), the outcome of your efforts to move in the direction of your choice.  How?  Let's look at some examples from my life.... just cause you probably know me some and  may be able to identify with some of the examples or, at the very least, will surely be able to comprehend the message that pertains to you from my story.  Stories are awesome that way, aren't they!?

So, let's say you know this perpetually fat girl.  And, since you know me, you DO know at least one!  :)  Now, most people, to look at me, would not call me morbidly obese, but according to the charts I am.  And, at the very least, I feel morbid about my obesity.  ;)  Seriously, though.  I started getting fat, far as I can tell, when I was 10.  Since then I've had two pretty good runs at being thinner.  My thinnest each time saw me a size 10, but not able to drop the numbers on the scale below 160.  Even when I was running 6 miles a day 5-6 days a week.  Yes.  I'm serious.  So... how does this pertain to motivation?  Well, what has always been the "inspiration" when motivated to lose weight?  To get away from being fat, of course.  Okay, so the "of course" really should not be OF COURSE, but for me it has been.

For a good part of my life (most of it!), I've been trying to move "away from" being fat.  I've been motivated away from being fat.  Well, the thing about "away from" motivation (and I can definitely tell you that in my life this truth is hard, cold, and basically a FACT and not just when it pertains to weight issues) is that when our psyche is far enough away from the source of it's motivation, the effort to move "away from" becomes less and less and eventually most "away from" motivated people (me, me, me!) will stop moving "away from" entirely and slowly slide back into habits that caused the problem from which the away to move "away from" motivation arose at the start of the whole process.

On the other end is our family decision to homeschool.  Okay, so in the beginning it was a TORI-decision.  But after Jess saw some of the fruit (Ria reading at 4 years old), he decided to embrage the hog and hop on board.  ^_^  So, since then we've definitely have "towards" motivation working here in our hearts and home.  And how do I know the difference?  Well, when it's gotten very difficult and I've wanted to give up... we haven't.  We have not stopped homeschooling even though the going has gotten VERY tough at times.  We?  Yes.  Jess has pep-talked me back to determination to keep on keepin' on.  It's definitely a team effort here in the Gollihugh home... whether he actually does any "teaching" or not... which he does do, actually quite often, I need my primary cheerleader!!!!  I was and still am definitely motivated by some "away from" sort of inspiration, but the primary reason we keep going is because our Father in Heaven has communicated to us that this is the Path He would have us follow.  And who would want to move "away from" Him!??!!!??

Another example of "towards" motivation for me is our birthing choices.  Sure, there's the desire to move "away from" interventions and "away from" strangers in the process... but for me the first and foremost motivation has always been TOWARD the best experience for my baby, my man, and me (and now our girls, too, of course).    And, of course, needing to confess Christ in ALL things, I must confess that His direction in this is THE last word. 

In my own self, I have always been motivated toward the healthiest (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) way to give our babies the best very first start.  I have been motivated toward doing what I know my body is capeable of doing and doing it in the best way possible, which, for us, has meant: at home, quiet, with our family, midwife, her assistant, and a close friend and/or my Mom to attend to the needs of littles.  Yes, we have out young ones present to watch the birth because we desire that they should see their siblings born that they may know there are no if, ands, or buts about the new one's belonging in our family.  Once again, this has definitely been a choice for which TOWARD motivation must necessarily be within Jess AND me.  Last time (Tea's birth) my midwife had me so riled up and worried that I asked the Lord many times if I could please go to the hospital.  He said no.  I asked Jess if we could go to the hospital and HE said no.  So, the two most important men in my life urged me TOWARD what I wanted most and we three pulled it off with our midwife present to pull the baby out to prevent shoulder distocia (since she was supposed to weigh upwards of 11.5 pounds according to the ultrasound.  :p)  Ain't God GREAT!??

Currently I am working to change my thinking in lots of ways because of the most recent pradigm shifts I've experienced, this whole motivation thing being the most recent one.  One thing I'm really trying to change to TOWARD motivation is how I think about money.  As a result of God's grace and provision for us, we were able to pay off our credit cards prior to becoming unemployed.  Now, during this down-time (when Jess is working, but his income is NOT entirely sufficient for our needs) I'm striving to change my fiscal mind so that when the time comes and we have sufficient and some excess, we will be able to use what we have to great benefit of our family's future fiscal life.

Of course, I'm also working on TOWARD motivation regarding my body.  And then maintaining the TOWARD motivation!

How about you?  Can you see any goals you could apply a change of TOWARD motivation to increase the probability of long-term success?  I hope you experience some mental earthquakes as a result of this info.  I'm sure it'll only be the good kind... to shake your world up and enable you to make it TONS better!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

A Very Merry and totally Miraculous Christmas!

It all started back in late October or sometime in early November.  Projecting our finances, especially after the demotion at River Grille on The Tomoka, I knew we wouldn't be able to afford our "regular" $10 gift Christmas (giving each person $10 to spend on each other person in our little family).  While our norm is really quite reasonable, when you do not have enough coming in, there isn't anything else to go out!

While, in truth, this was at first sort of depressing to me, I came up with a plan that was exciting to me and would include wonderful lessons for our whole family...  The plan?  To allocate only $50 ($10 each), which would be a stretch but much easier than the alternative, and spend it on gift certificates which we would then give to individuals at the homeless camp near-ish our home.  When we discussed this plan as a family, the girls were, at first, sort of disappointed about not getting any presents themselves, but then they caught the vision and were excited about giving to those who need so much more than we.  Ria even came up with a plan to have an art show to sell their art work so that they could have more money to buy gifts for those in need.  Jess agreed with the plan.

Unbeknownst to me, Jess began to reconsider our family agreement.  He was trying to figure out ways he could have gifts to give our girls on Christmas.  Then he was fired from RG and he became, it seems to me, even more anxious to provide gifts for the girls even though the way for him to do so in and of ourselves was even more impossible.  All this without telling me a thing about his thoughts or feelings.

Then, one day in early December he received a phone call from our midwife.  He was out grocery shopping.  She told him about an organization that chooses 100 Chef's in the area each year and then provides gifts for theChef's children.  (My midwife did not know Jess had been fired from RG.)  Jess told me he was in shock when he heard her tell him this and then ask if she could submit wish lists for our girls.  He thanked her while on the phone, but the magnitude of the magnitude of the blessing only hit him when he got to his car, where he promptly began to shed tears of gratitude.

He came home and told me all about it.  I felt angry at first (because he started by telling me he'd been trying to think of how to get gifts for the girls), but as I listened I became aware of the blessing and miracle.  My reaction: "You know this is not about our girls.  This is about YOU.  This is a gift from Father to YOU for our girls because He knows your heart and the wishes of it and He wants to show you that He loves you and that you are worthy in His sight."  I think Jessie heard me this time....  He acknowledged the truthfulness of what I said, at least.

There's more.

My Ward family (earth angels, in my sight) gave us gift certificates to use at Wal-Mart for the girls.  A lot of them.

There's more.

A really sweet family in our Ward was given dresses (just about the sizes of our daughters), which they wrapped and gave to our girls as well as a matching shirt for Mama.  Then, Christmas Eve that same thoughtful family came over to deliver gifts for the girls (2 each, I believe, plus a few gifts for all three)!  A whole family of earth angels, that!

So, our Christmas Tree, when we moved all the gifts to places around it, was so very FULL of gifts.... More full than any Christmas I can remember from my childhood... and I have 5 siblings!  More full than any Christmas Jess can recall (though he does have only one sib).  The only "match" for this Christmas is the Christmas Jessie's sister Anni visited and my sweet, dear friend Heather came to deliver more than 3 large black garbage bags full of presents for our family on Christmas Eve back in 2008 (I think)....  We are so very blessed!!!

Now, some might consider all this story a series of sweet coincidences.  Some might write it off to synchronicity.  Others might say it's a chance collaboration of unlikely events.  Another might say it's luck, or a happy accident, fate, or some other such verbal "write off" of what is REALLY miraculous.  You see, to see miracles, I have learned, it takes an Eye of Faith.  It requires Spiritual Eyes, which are only ever opened BY Fiath, to see what can not be seen by those who would name away that which is plainly seen through Faith... who would close their eyes to what is real and readily before us, but easily explained away.  Yes, it IS easy to explain away!  I used to do it.  Jess has only recently stopped!  But let's call a miracle a miracle and open our dimmed eyes to see the fine threads, invisible without Faith, of Father's awesome plan.  Let's see them as they intertwine and combine to create this magnificent tapestry we live, it makes up our lives!  God's got it!  For sure.  Let Go, Let God.  He will bring so much more than we can provide, if we'll just WAIT ON THE LORD in ALL things!

And so, seeing with my Spiritual Eyes, opened by Faith, I proclaim that THIS, my friends... this Christmas is for Jessie (as well as our daughters, of course... and for me, too, I'm sure, but I just feel SO much that it's FOR Jessie most of all cause it's the wishes and hopes of HIS heart that was answered upon the heads and into the hearts of our children!).  Do you see how the Lord loves him??  And our Father loves us ALL this way!!!  Isn't His Love amazing??!!!??  The way our AWESOME God knows the wishes and hopes of our heart and manifests them in the world when we are simply TRYING to live as He would have us do to the best of our ability at any given time!??!!

Our God is a personal God.  He knows us as individuals and Loves us no matter what.  He knows what we are capeable of right now... as well as what we MAY do in the future if we'll just submit to Him and His knowledge and His guidance and do our best understanding of His Will!  And He blesses us so tremendously for our pitiful and puny efforts to be like our Dear Savior, Jesus Christ.  I must confess Christ in all things.  We are commanded to do so and so I do: This is ALL from Him and we are SO VERY THANKFUL!!!  We are so thankful to those who have acted as instruments in His hands to bless our lives, to bring such temporal manifestations of God's Love into our world this Christmas.  THANK YOU!!!!

Thank you, God.

Merry MERRY Christmas!  I hope His Birthday was a lovely day for you and yours and that some of the wishes and hopes of YOUR heart were manifest in this temporal and saddly fallen world of ours!  :)

This is my truth.  This is my testimony.  And I bear this, my testimony, in the name of our Savior and Risen Lord, Jesus Christ.  AMEN!

Sometimes It's Okay to be Sick

Okay, so it's really not okay... but I can more easily see some purpose to it... perhaps. :)

The girls (starting with Tea, then to Ria and finally getting Kat) ended up with another cold type thing with upper respiratory congestion and such. Herbs are awesome. ^_^ Jess has come to value the education I am trying to give myself on the "medicinal" application of culinary herbs. I decided to start there because they tend to be the easiest to access AND grow. I do hope to start my own herb garden before too long. What a pleasure THAT will be....

Tea is basically fine now, but the girls were still coughing up a storm last night. Tonight neither has coughed a bit. YEAY!

The purpose I see? Well, it has forced us to lay low. We had SO much going on the two weeks before. While all of it was quite nice and fun and educational and everything, it was SO much! We had to cancel a few things this week. We missed participating in them, of course, but the time to cool it down was really good, too.

Today was especially nice. The girls and Jess missed church today. I went with the baby. Jess actually stayed awake more of the time time he was home. And then he went to work. Ria and Kat read and played all afternoon. And then time for the sun arrived (we tend to prefer evening time because the weather is much more temperate AND we can actually get outside then most days without interrupting "school"). Since that is really part of the flow of our days (most days), we stick with it for Sunday.

Well, the past few times we've spent hanging out on the driveway, Tea actually investigated the inside of the garage. She was SO excited to have a whole new area to crawl around in and SO many new things to look at. She even crawled over, under and through... there's not a real way to do that much in the house. But today was THE coolest, by far.

Ria and Kat were riding scooters and trikes (Kat on the latter, both on the scooters). Tea started to crawl around in the garage, but then sat for a while and watched her sisters. Eventually she made her way over to a sort of trike (but not the high red flyer kind) and started pushing it around (almost like a push toy, but she was pushing while holding onto the handlebars!). It was so sweet and fun to watch. After a while she even tried to climb to sit on it. Well, that didn't work terribly well. I decided to put her on it and see if she would allow me to push it for her. This particular model (^_^) has a sort of stick thing that you can put in a hole in the back to make it easier on the parent's back to push the thing AND a little drop down foot rest for the child! Nice, right? Another of Father's gifts to us through an earth-bound Angel! :) Well, she LOVED it! She even stood up on the little foot rest as well as bounced to get me to push her more. It was really fun for me. After many revolutions around our driveway we even went on the street. The street is sort of uphill when you go East. So, we did that. I was worried that Tea might not like the faster ride on the way back to the house. Well, I was totally wrong. She LOVED it! So funny to me because she tends to be a bit of a scardy cat.

Well, after I was finished pushing her, Ria took a turn. When Ria was done Tea decided to continue working. And, MAN, she was TOTALLY working! She was so intent and intense. She resumed her efforts at using the "trike" as a push toy, holding the handlebars. She fell a few times. But not once did she fuss!! I decided to try to make things easier (cause she kept running the back wheel into one of her feet), so I positioned her behind the trike. She was really rolling then! And she seemed to REALLY enjoy it. Not in a grinning sort of "This is FUN" sort of way, but more of a "This is really enjoyable work" sort of way. And she worked SO hard!

It was really awesome and interesting to watch. For a while now I've known that Ria likes to work hard... of course, NOT always, but she tends to focus more easily and works hard when she's into something. Kat enjoys watching and DOing. When she was a baby she wasn't too interested in books. Ria was sitting for me to read to her at 6 months old and bringing books to me for me to read to her at 9 months old. Kat didn't bring me a book to read to her until she was around 15-18 months old. Tea brought a book for me to read to her at about 7.5-8 months old. She enjoys sitting and watching her sisters for bits of time, but then she'll get right in the middle of things (just like Kat, our cat!). ^_^ Today seemed to me to be another confirmation of my idea that Tea is sort of a cross between Ria and Kat, leaning toward Ria.

Given all that, it probably will not surprise you to learn that Tea took her first hands-free steps the other night to Ria. :) I'm sure you guessed as much already. My Mom got it right!

Not Done Yet

So, amazingly, the van was repaired in time for Jessie to get to work by 3pm on Wednesday. He was supposed to be there at 8am, as normal, but because of the van problem, the General Manager reworked things and he was able to be in later. The guys at the shop Jess took the van to (via a tow) were awesome and moved our job to the head of the que and finished it lickity-split. YEAY! Another miracle. And if you question THAT, you obviously haven't had to take your vehicle to a mechanic lately!

Thursday we took Jess to work because it was Ward Council day. We stopped at the grocery store and purchased the diapers (among other things) that we were ABLE to afford thanks to Heavenly Father and the miracle of the Publix gift card, which wouldn't have happened if the van hadn't broken down. Then we had a friend over for a little while before Story Time and played at the playground for a little while after, then on to Dance later in the afternoon. Ward Council was canceled. Probably that was best for me cause I'd been feeling a bit groggy and had a slightly swollen right neck lymph node. (This particular swollen node seems to indicate, in my body, the setting in of some illness. When the other is throbbing or swollen, I usually need to drink some water. Interesting, eh?)

Friday we took Jessie to work again because we had a homeschool group Firehouse visit. What a GREAT time. The Firefighters did acceptable talks (could've been more specific and clear, but it was still good). The tour was great! Nice Firehouse!!

Today we went AS A FAMILY! to work for Coastal Cleanup (it's a national thing) here in our area. We really enjoyed it. We received two of the fabric grocery bags with equipment for picking up trash including gloves and some claw-like reaching tools. We joined up with two other homeschooling families and spent about 2 hours cleaning up with them. Among our families, we had 6 girls! Jess kept watch, counting: 1-2-3-4-5. He didn't have to worry about Tea, she was in the sling. It was funny to me, but also very sweet! He didn't learn the other little girls' names, but he sure had an eye out for them!

TEA
So, in the last week (or maybe a little less), Tea has cut two teeth! They are located in the bottom front. Totally normal, but SO exciting for all of us here. She's been pretty aware of her sisters' pleasure and Mama and Daddy's excitement over it. Jess actually found the first one! And I was lucky to find the second... a couple days later! So, our baby is totally growing up! heehee ;)

KAT
Today Kat made friends with the oldest girl child present. It was REALLY sweet to see how those two seemed drawn together.

Just some interesting Kitty Kat tidbits.
Kat has a tendency to name people (mostly adults) "teacher" and SOME kids her age "friend". The Wednesday that we worked at bag stuffing, Kat said, as we were leaving, "By mine friends!" Those were all adults. Today she named the oldest girl her friend. It was really sweet.

On Friday we went to Publix** to buy diapers and groceries. As we were leaving, she said, "Bye cuties." to the ladies that had been helping us. This is one of the funniest things I've heard her say to adults. She really is a funny little girl.

RIA
This little girl had a BLAST today! Talk about a dream come true... TWO little girls, right around her age to hang out with for hourS. She was thrilled. They worked hard, too, which was a pleasure to see.

Ria is learning how to ride her bike without training wheels. Say a prayer for us all! ^_^




**In the checkout for Publix the cashier was very encouraging (like a pusher?) of purchasing some cookies that were on sale. I refused, not giving a reason initially. But she insisted it was a good deal and showed a bag we would get for free. I said we couldn't because we were gluten free. She continued, saying we could use the bag. I told her that I would like to buy them just to give them away, but honestly didn't have money for it at all. She asked something about government assistance. Now, honestly, I'm not totally against asking for help. Heaven knows we've asked MANY times and received abundantly. But I really feel government assistance is a LAST resort, thus my steering away from it even though I know we are technically eligible for any number of things we could get.... Anyway... I said something like, "I REALLY don't want any help from the government." As I said it I felt a sort of anxiety because when this sort of conversation has come up before, whomever I was speaking with would sort of try to argue me into using the assistance. Truly, I want them to accept assistance if that is what they feel is best for their family... but why pressure me. My choice is NO reflection on them or any opinions I may have about their choices. The cashier pleasantly surprised me. Her body language was sort of shocked and then she said, "That's just like I was!" She continued on into an explanation of how she had worked to make ends me. (And she'd done a good job from what it sounds like.) I had to respond, "Well, I can't brag in my own strength or worth, but I know Heavenly Father works it all out for the good of my family." And I proceeded to explain how we had the gift card I was preparing to use. She was impressed and went on to tell me that I shouldn't ever let anyone take my Faith and that I had to make sure to guide my children to have it and never let it go. What a great and encouraging conversation, huh? Well, as I was leaving, and right after Kat made her cute little comment, our cashier was bustling to get us 3 coloring books with crayons... like she wanted to help us as much as she could think to do because she was impressed. What a good feeling!

Watch

One Watch

Have you heard of Family Watch International? They have a great newsletter that can help you stay "on top" of the news relating to family interests. Primarily, the focus of late has been on law maintaining the form of marriage (meaning between a man and woman). They also mention the CRC (UN Convention on the Rights of the Child). As a matter of fact, the most recent newsletter contained some interesting tidbits... like children being removed from their families and being put in foster care because their parents DARED put them in TIME OUT. Seriously. There was another bit about how the CRC is already being used in other countries. In my opinion its usage is nigh unto terrorism on the family.

And why not? The Deceiver and his Group: Gadianton know that the family is the foundation of the Society, so if they can undermine FAMILY, they will control the society. Of course, you already know I believe that TGG (The Gadianton Group) has a fall back plan. They know that if they can control people by means of that which they consume, they control the world. So, they are breaking apart the very foundations of Society (the world) and working to control us through complacency and fatigue.

Have I previously mentioned Weather Modification? How about fluoridated water? Well, if not the latter, then surely the former. They are certainly two prongs of the multi-pronged fork they have aimed at the majority (of the population)... another prong, of course, being control via food supply.

*sigh*

I feel such alarm. And I'm trying to do my part to take a STAND. Will you, too?

Do you?

Another kind of WATCH

Well, there is a great VIDEO I want to share. It was in the Family Watch newsletter. I hope you will take the few minutes it takes to watch it.

And yet another way to WATCH

Would you like to WATCH your Congressperson's choices more carefully? I certainly will. If you're interested in more information that they will vote on and how they voted, check out THIS and sign up for the newsletter. There is also a newsletter link from that page. You can get more info on the issues you are most concerned about by signing up there.

There does not seem to be such a helpful sort of information source for the Senate, from what I can tell. BUT, you can go HERE to see "Active Legislation" there is going on and one column is for House and the other for Senate bills. Somewhat helpful.

Not Exactly a WATCH, but something to Watch out For

Do you think it's possible that powers-that-be might work toward changing the wording of the ACTUAL Constitution? Would you like a copy for yourself so you can better learn and understand the founding document of our Country? You can get one FREE, HERE. Awesome, right?

Made It Through The Weekend

And now I have THE worst kink in my upper back! UGH! It's not a nice feeling. Nope. It sure isn't! I think I slept wrong....

So, we made it through Saturday without a single arguement. There was a group of minutes when I was particularly perterbed. You see, my dear husband rarely says what he actually means. I think it's a guy thing, really... at least a guy-in-relationship thing. Or, perhaps more specifically, it's those guys who are in relationships with strong women and don't like to deal with anything uncomfortable. Anyway! So, I was working online a lot on Saturday. It was nice to have the girls otherwise occupied and I was taking advantage of their focus being somewhere other than on ME! Perhaps I was on the computer a bit long, but it was refreshing for me, so difficult to stop. So, what's the point? Well, after a bit Jess calls to me and tells me he thinks he's ruined the macaroni.

He was supposed to be working on the Macaroni Salad for the social. Instead of completing that, he stopped and did something else, and then swept the floor, then we had lunch, after that he vaccuumed up the piles... so he'd left the macaroni for a little while. When he finally got back to it it was a while later. So, the CHEF calls me? I'm like, "Uh. Ok, so you forgot about it. What am I supposed to do??" He calls back that he's frustrated and would I please come and take a look at what he's dealing with.

So, I go to the kitchen. The macaroni is definitely stuck together. I'm wondering, 'What does he think I can do about it that HE can't?' I say something about that, but without the 'tude and he sorta whines that he doesn't know. So, I suggest (which I think is pretty obvious) that he rinse the macaroni and break it up under the water, "I really don't think it's entirely ruined," I tell him. And here comes one of the two REAL reasons he's called me out. "Well, would you do something to help me because I can't really DO that with the dishes in the sink. I'll just ruin it more than I have!" Ok, so, why couldn't he ask me to just do the dishes? And the other (probably main) reason he called me, which he didn't allude to in a verbal way, was that he just wanted me to hang out with him in the living spaces rather than hole myself away with the computer.

Perhaps I'm wrong. But I doubt it. We'll likely never know the truth because if Jessie were asked he would tell you I AM wrong, definitely... but then you'd have to ask him if Bulgar is a different variety of wheat or just a preparation!!

See, Jess and I used to have this thing... well, perhaps it's more something I did. But you'd understand if you knew how Jess ALWAYS thinks he's right. Often times ALL of the proof is RIGHT in front of him and he will refuse to acknowledge that he is wrong. He started saying some bull, "I'm not wrong, just misunderstood!" Well, when you say Bulgar is a variety of Wheat and then learn that it's a prepration of it, there's not much arguing that you were misunderstood! (And that is just THE most recent example.) I used to keep track, on a calendar that I still have, of every time Jessie admitted he was actually wrong. It's important that one not lose sight of one's own fallability - if we don't, we begin to have pride greater than others can tolerate! Trust me when I tell you, I readily admit when I'm wrong and often appologize for making an assumption or presumption! It takes a GREAT deal of proving and then provocation for the same to happen with Jess.

The incident with the Bulgar was the closest we came to actually having an issue, so to speak, this weekend. Oh, and Jessie was off from the Club (pm) on Friday, off Almond Blossom (AM) Sat and Sun, AND off the Club on Sat. So, we ended up having about 2 whole days together. Pretty sweet, huh? :)

A surprise... and then another....

So, I saw Jess walking toward the front door at about 4:30pm today. My heart did some flops. I felt like I was getting a little hot. (OK, so I just re-read what is written previous to this note and it sounds like something other than I meant it to. SORRY about that. Please continue to read and you'll understand where it's going, I think!)

He comes in the door and very coolly and calmly I say, "What are YOU doin' home?!" He explains that tonight is actually his night off. 'Oh,' I think and I'm sure my whole countenance fell because tomorrow is our Ward social and the first one I thought Jess would make it to with us. I'm sure my face fell also because Jess went on to quickly explain that he was origionally scheduled for tonight not tomorrow night off, but when he was talking to Steve, his boss, Steve asked how many nights Jess was on this week. After Jess told him SIX, Steve told him to go ahead and take tomorrow night off as well!! So, we actually have TWO nights in a row with Daddy!

Of course, does that actually mean he's conscious for the whole time? Uh... do you KNOW Jessie???

If you haven't been able to figure out why my heart was flip-floppin and I got all hot feelin' it's because this scene felt like a re-run of experiences we had WAY too many times before we moved here. Jess was let go from, like, 4 jobs within a year up in VA. It was very upsetting. Each time he was home earlier than I expected him. So, I thought (since I'm a worst-case-scenario-ist, according to our councelor) that he'd been fired. Not that I thought he'd done anything wrong, but I was worried that this was sort of pointing out to me that Jess really SHOULD be doing something different, which has been a focal point of many prayers... trying to make sure we're in the right path, ya know?

Back to the story.... Of course, Jess came home and subsequently fell asleep as he was supposedly doing reading class with Ria. *sigh* I wish I could just randomly fall asleep and the girls actually leave me alone - regardless of what I was SUPPOSED to be doing! But, I suppose Mamas are the tortured... I mean 'totally adored'! hahaha ;)

Instead of fussin at Jess to spend time with us, I fussed at him to go lie down in bed so I wouldn't get even more upset to see him sleeping when I thought we would have some family time. He did. And I took the girls out for our hour-long walk. This is the 4th evening this week of this. And let me tell you, it is NOT very much fun for me! I just wish, so often, for time to just be me... I don't get it on the potty, not while I'm sleeping, not while I prepare food, not while I eat, not while I excercise. But... I shouldn't complain, right? I'm a MAMA, afterall.

Obviously I'm feeling a little peeved about the whole ability my husband has of leaving his job. Ok, so maybe that wasn't so very obvious.... Well, that's the root of all the complaining. I would REALLY like to leave my job for a little while. I wish the hotel thing had happened... but then, of course, I would wish for more than that. But seriously, I think after 4+ years of never leaving my job (and over 1 year of that I was also teaching) I should be able to have ONE day off, right?? ahhh... My fickle fickle heart!

Anyway.

Today has been productive and exciting for me in my "studio." (Right! As if! You know, of course "my STUDIO" is actually our dining room table and if you didn't know, you could just scoot yourself on back to a past post and find out - with pictures even! Back in the day when uploading them didn't totally freeze up my computer!) I worked on, primarily, another team challenge piece. This one is for my SHE team. (Schooling at Home Etsians) And I'm a perfect candidate for that team with my smarty daughter who is only 4 and reading at an almost fluent kindergarden level and even higher with less and less fluency! Can you tell I'm just so totally thrilled with her reading progress?? So, this challenge is "Robin's Egg Blue" and that's all the direction we've had.

If you know me, you will easily guess - and correctly - that this has been torture for me. I really had no idea where to go with it. That is, until yesterday on the hour-long walk. I saw this thing hanging from someone's mailbox and thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to make something like that and call it MAIL BOX JEWELRY?" So, I thought and thought, while I walked and walked and came up with the general idea of what I put into clay today! I'm very pleased with it!! It is baked, but unfinished as yet. The challenge isn't due until May 15th, so you'll have to hold tight for photos. I'm having problems with Flickr, so you'll definitely have to make sure to get added to my friends to see 'em in Photobucket. (Mom, you're already allowed to see those pics, under caregi.... You know the rest. You just have to contact me for the password!)

IN ADDITION to that, I also started AND finished another nursing Mama. I'm very pleased with this one as well. Perhaps more? I'm not sure. It's really great, though. Oh, and I'd previously made the angel that is going to shelter this Mama and IT is very cool, too. :) Not finished... You'll just have to wait for pictures. heeheehee

Man, I love Florida! I'm already getting a really great light tan. Just from walking while the sun is setting! Nice, right!?? Ok, so I know that was totally random, but I thought I would just sort of tempt you... perhaps you want to visit more now? Love it if you did! Try NOT to come in October (like at all!!). If you want to come for OUR Thanksgiving or Christmas, make sure you contact me in advance because we make up our own holidays! You know, you sort of have to do it when hubby works in a field like Hospitality. And, since we don't have family here to dictate that we STAY WITH THE DATE, we just DON'T! Such a priviledge, really.

Ok, so I'm TOTALLY overblowing how wonderful making our own holidays is because I've been feeling a bit down about being away from my extended fam for so long (only 10 months, I need to be strong, this hasn't been all that long. I will surely be away MUCH longer than this before I can get back there!). ahwell....