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First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Saturday Soliloquy 63: When My Dad Was Transfered to Virginia from Tennessee

I had just finished sixth grade.  I had two "best" friends: Amy Turner and Rhonda Lopozer.  I'd already experienced some of the misfortunes of "socialization" in public school.  (The messed up way that children learn to interact... 'clicks'... and the cool and not cool kids, etc.)  I'm not sure where I fit in, but I think I was part of the cool kids because Amy, Rhonda, and Angela were pretty dang cool.
We performed a skit in the gym to the song: "Leader of the Pack".  That's how cool we were.  No one else got to do that!  I honestly don't remember if we were just part of a talent show.  But in my memory it's more of a 'Only We Got To Do It' sort of thing.  We had so much fun doing that skit!  Amy was the main singer: We met him at the candy store...  Rhonda and I were back-up singers.  Angela was "The leader of the pack".  She even rode a bike to represent a motorcycle in the gym!
So, I was looking forward to starting seventh grade with my awesome friends.  I had no idea we were moving.  And then we were.  And I hadn't said goodbye to my friends!  I was so sad.  And I tried to talk my parents in to letting me go and say goodbye.  Maybe they took me to Rhonda's because she was also Navy, but I didn't get to say goodbye to Amy or Angela.  I still don't understand that... how I didn't know so I could tell everyone goodbye.
It was that move that began my belief that Heavenly Father moved us because I was bad.  I was just sure that I'd done something wrong and that's why we had to move away from my best friends and I'd never see them again.  I felt like each move after that was just more of the same.  I was bad and doing wrong things, so we had to move.
I also remember, I think, my parents being so angry at me for being sad about the move.  Maybe my Dad even yelled at me as we were driving away.  I think that was a normal reaction... anger/yelling when I cried.  

I have done poorly in perpetuating that as a parent.  I hope I will change enough so that my children will remember very few instances of it (and maybe only Ria, Kat and Tea will remember it at all?). 

I'm working so hard to change.  I hope to be a new Mama in Christ very soon!

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