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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Monday, May 25, 2009

Tea and Fam Update

TEA IS SEVEN MONTHS OLD TODAY!!!! ^_^ To celebrate, here is an update post:

Have I mentioned that Tea gave me an awesome Mother's Day gift? She crawled well for the first time that day!!! Since then she's become a pro. Sunday evening she left the kitchen (where I was working) to hang out with her sisters in the dining room. It was a relatively short distance, but THE first time she has willingly left my presence! :)

Did I tell you that she has been cruising for the last 2 weeks or so?

She's pulling up to stand on anything she can reach (including trying to pull up using clothing!).

Tea has gotten brave about letting go of things to test her balance. As an example of her balance testing, she now leans her belly on the tub (I put her in it when I use the toilet) and then she lets go of the sides!

Tea has also become the little standing-turner. For instance, she'll stand at the open dryer door and slowly turn, let go, and hold on to the dresser behind it. She's also done a similar move in my bedroom between my bed and some shelves, which I recently rearranged. (I changed our bed area all around to make more room for Food Storage!)

My youngest is no longer an easy baby and I totally look forward to her full-on walking days! She doesn't sleep in her stroller any more. She won't sleep longer than about 15 minutes alone in bed. So, if I want her to sleep well, or nap enough, she's on me. I guess this is probably what happened with Kat and Ria... but with Ria I didn't have anyone else to care for and I had to work so when I was around her I wanted her on me! With Kat I pretty much always wore her in the sling so I didn't really know when she was sleeping. It's always different, this Mothering thing! We sure can say that for it, eh? :)

This girl has a Dr. Jackie, Mrs. Hyde thing going on!!! Seriously, one day she's SO sweet and loving to all of us and the next she doesn't want to cooperate with anything and is mean and nasty to Kat all day. It's alarming how much like my 12 year old self this little 5 year old of mine is! I love that my kiddos are advanced and all, but this is ridiculous! She doesn't want to do school even on her good days. Glad for some consistency, just not glad about the issue over which she's consistent!!!

I love her endlessly, even on her bad days. She's a helpful a wonderful girl more often than not and I'm lucky she's my first! It's just amazing to me, this "new development."

I'm not sure if she's having growth regression or emotional... but Kat has been peeing in bed at night and some naps lately. After washing way too much laundry (and being EXHAUSTED because of the extra food prep and other stuff) Kat is back in diapers at night. I'm not happy about that, but I am happy not to have as much laundry!!!

Kat has definitely learned how to throw a temper tantrum. They are JUST like Ria's. When Kat does what she does, I look at Ria and she's got this look on her face like, "Oh, THAT's what I look like?" I've told her enough that she knows it is.

Kat has adopted a habit of doing just like Ria. Ria might tell me about a booboo she just found or got. After Ria has finished, and usually walked away, Kat will come right over and mimic everything Ria just did: body posture, tone of voice, and repeat what Ria has said and done. It's amazing. I can't help but think my Kat is a kinesthetic learner and body intuitive! I do feel for her because I've realized I'm the latter, though not the former.

Kat and I are working VERY slowly at reading class. She tolerates it relatively well, especially when a movie is on the line. My kiddos and movies!

My sweet husband is still working hard and sleeping hard. :) Actually, he's been striving to be awake more on his days off. At least, when I'm up he does. I appreciate that SO much because he usually sleeps at least 6 hours straight... I can only dream about such luxury with all my issues combined with night nursing. On nights like Sun, Mon, and Tues, he usually sleeps at least 9... Oh, how I WISH! So, it's was extremely frustrating when he has (in the past) fallen asleep every time he'd sits down. It's SO much nicer to get to actually INTERACT with him when he's home. I only get so much adult-speak most days. It's wonderful to have my partner around as a companion, too! I love my three little companions... and Ria is ever more interesting to chat with, but conversation with her is just not the same as iwth another adult quite yet. :)

He actually loves his job. His short day is 8 hours, if he's lucky. But the other 4 days of his work week are still 12-15 hour days! Saturday night he conducted his first firing. He didn't like it at all. Especially because the guy reminded him of one of my brothers. He was obviously down and sort of sad when he got home, as a result. So, I gave him a pep talk about good business and stuff and he seemed a little bit better. One of the negatives to take with having a job that is a move in the right direction for his career. On a more positive note; because he's a Manager at The River Grille on the Tomoka, Jess gets a nice discount. Plus, right now, Monday nights kids eat free!! So, we're planning to eat out sometime soon as a Family Home Evening thing and it'll probably only cost around $20 WITH tip!!! Isn't that awesome? A perk for all the time he's gone, I guess.

Oh, did I tell you... they made cards for Jess? You know, business cards with the company logo and EXECUTIVE CHEF under his name. It was a pleasant surprise to both of us. You see, they have a policy of a 90 day trial. This step seems (combined with getting Health Insurance soon) to indicate a determination to keep him beyond the 90 days. Of course, there's every reason they SHOULD, but still....

My biggest news has already been mentioned in a previous post. The whole 'trying to figure out how to heal naturally' stuff has been consuming my available time. I was planning to start reading the Harry Potter series (I told Ria what it was about and she almost tried to take one of the books out of my hands she was so excited!). But I haven't begun yet because of the learning curve on this celiac and SCD stuff (especially SCD).

I've been feeling a greater peace and wellness since getting off sugar and ESPECIALLY since starting this SCD. I think it's likely and very possible that my anxiety/panic/depression issues were, in part, due to hormones as well as bad gut flora die off after I went off sugar. My limbs still feel pretty weak a lot and I feel out of breath too much sometimes... but then there a moments like Sunday night when I was getting out of bed and felt like I jumped because I overestimated the energy necessary to get up from where I was. That could also be partially due to losing 14 pounds in 4 weeks... but who knows. :) That last little tidbit is some good news! I keep hoping and praying that I will be able to get down to or nicely below the weight I was after Ria was born before I get preggie again. It totally seems possible at this point! Thankfully. YEAY!

We Keep Choosing Us
Jess is praying with me at night as well as reading the Bible to me now. I would guess that his agreeing to pray with me has been just to please me, but he was reading the Bible on his own. I just asked him to read it out loud. This activity is one of my favorite times of the day. And I feel like it's done some good beyond the few minutes the actual activities require. YEAY!

Today's Destroying Angel

Could it be? You know, the destroying angel from Doctrine and Covenants Section 89? "verse 21: And I, the Lord, give unto them a promise, that the adestroying angel shall bpass by them, as the children of Israel, and not slay them. Amen."

I've been pondering much on food. It shouldn't surprise you since I currently have to prepare 2 meals for every ONE we eat... plus snacks, of course. Why? Well, I guess I haven't shared that, huh?

Okay, so here's the deal. You know those poop problems I've been having for YEARS? I've been trying to remember when they started. And, for the life of me, I just can't. I'm thinking maybe when I was... 23? So, that would be 10 years now, at least! Can you believe I'm 33? Well, I am and I have EARNED every one of the gray hairs on my head!!! :)

Anyway... I know I also told you about how my Mom suggested that I might have Celiac Disease. Well, I think that's a strong possibility. Actually, I think my whole family has Gluten Intolerance, at the very least. Since most Docs won't test for the disease unless you've been consuming gluten for at least 3 months prior to the test, we won't be able to be diagnosed even though Jessie's Health Insurance will probably start early next month (that will be about FIVE months early!!!). *sigh*

After realizing that my Mom's suggestion was probably spot on (like when she said I should marry Jess!), I took us off flour, rye (what?!), and barley (we actually DO have that one). It made a difference! It SERIOUSLY made a difference! My kiddos moods were more even... Kat is still pretty unpredictable and a little wild, but I think that's her "mama-ness" coming out. ahwell I forgot to bring a special snack for them to Story Time on Thursday and did NOT feel like fighting them away from the snacks (a Mama can fight only SO much). So, they had gluten (it's in almost EVERYthing!!). OH MY GOODNESS!!! The next day was hellacious. I'm sure it could have been an off day, but it just felt way TOO off, if you know what I mean. And I forgot about the gluten until I was reviewing the day later on and trying to figure out where I went wrong. *sigh* So, no more of that as much as I can possibly make it so, anyway.

As I was reading and researching Celiac Disease and trying to figure out what we were going to do about food, I kept coming across this SCD thing. So, I looked into it further after seeing it more than a dozen times. After reading about it, I ordered the book and decided to begin the Intro Diet. Have you heard of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet? So far it's great for my weight... but other than that, I feel like it's helping me heal. Today is the best day yet with only one small diarrhea at 6:05am and NOTHING SINCE!!!! The last time I shared that I had a solid poop, I had diarrhea after it and nothing but diarrhea for days following that. Who knows... maybe tomorrow will bring another one! I'm hoping so.

So, it's the Specific Carbohydrate Diet that creates the need for double meals. Not only am I almost always hungry, but the girls can eat way more variety than I can, so I make things for them to eat. Because I'm feeling SO strongly about the importance of our food, I've been working on lots of wholesome and tastey treats. Did I mention that the girls have been off sugar for a couple weeks now (except for Saturday night when they had some chocolate stuff I made for a missionary fireside)? They have. But they still want "dessert" items to eat. Ria has determined that an apple after a meal is dessert. I'm TOTALLY cool with that and it reminds me of Japan, which is a really good thing!

I have to tell you. This SCD is no joke! It's been REALLY difficult for me. I'm very much an omnivore with vegetarian tendencies. But the Intro Diet days (2-5) of this thing you can eat only meats and WELL cooked carrots. I couldn't eat the carrots, though, because they caused me additional crampiness! :( So, I've been eating WAY more meat than I've eaten in the last couple of months! But... since it seems to be making a difference, I'm sticking to it. I decided to give it a go of 3 to 6 months. Probably more like 6, though. And by then, hopefully, I'll be able to eat raw fruits and veggies again and the whole diet will be less difficult than it is today (and more like a celiac diet, which I believe we need to maintain).

So, why do I think my kids are gluten intolerant? Well, beyond the mood issues? Here's the run-down:
Ria has always had continents on her tongue. (check out symptoms) She's always been small (tiny when she was younger).
Kat has really rough teeth (enamel not good?). Her stools have been REALLY loose since we'd been eating more bread (homemade even).
Both girls have been complaining about being hungry ALL the time. Literally, they would eat and 15 to 30 minutes later they wanted another meal (NOT a snack)!
So far the only sign I observed in Tea that I think is related were some patches of skin irritation that I think might fit the description of the skin form of CD... no tests, again, so I'm not sure in that way. The one on her face has completely gone away and the one on her arm is almost gone now, though... seems like a sign that I'm moving in the right direction. I've been off gluten for over a week now.

Back to SCD. It's good for lots of bowel issues. If you do even a little reading around you'll find lists like this: Crohn's disease, Ulcerative Colitis, Diverticulitis, Celiac Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Chronic Diarrhea, and Autism. One of my favorite web sites in my efforts in this thing is one created to help parents of Autistic children do this diet for their kids. I'm following the steps they have outlined on one of the pages. The whole site is very informative, though.

So, do you know someone that might benefit from this sort of diet? I do. I told one of the two who came to mind, but the other doesn't want me to write to her. I've argued with myself that maybe I should send her an email in hopes that this information might be helpful. But after much internal back-and-forth, I decided that I won't do what she doesn't want me to do: write to her. So, I just hope she reads this and knows I'm thinking about her and hoping she might find some relief from the Destroying Angel.

Well, at least that's what I'm coming to believe food can be! If we eat the Standard American Diet (and we Gollihughs certainly did!), then we're likely going to be what we eat: SAD. But if we eat to heal and then eat to live (rather than live to eat as I totally did!), we will be marking our door with a spotless first lamb's blood, as it were. I've also thought that healing through food may be the way that we become a people no longer in need of Doctors! Wouldn't that be lovely!?? It totally IS possible. So, food could be two sides of a "coin": both deliverance and death... at least, that's what I think.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Wanna Try Some Coconut Ice Cream for Free?

If you want to try some, then hop on over the Coc.nut Girl's blog. She's got a giveaway goin' on. I'm in!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Nothing to Add

Edited 6-27-2012 to Add:
If you like this, you might like another Obman song. Check it out! ^_^

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Could It Be?

My Mom called last night and left a voice mail. In it she shared the idea that, perhaps, my issues of the gut could be celiac disease. Last night I looked it up as well as a few of the other big gut issues (read: Crohn's Disease, Colitis, Ulcerative Colitis, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, IBD, etc.). Of all of them, it seemed most likely, based on the symptoms lists, that I might have IBS. Without the money for a diagnosis, I figured, "What the hay! I'll see if Mom's on to something anyway!"

Perhaps I should give a little back info now. I've been experiencing some MAJOR anxiety these last couple weeks. I was worried that I was entering PPD (it can start immediately after a baby's birth, all the way through 6 months post-partum). I was feeling SUPER depressed and having ALL kinds of death-thoughs. I mean, seriously depressing thoughts! I felt sure that the red spots that have been increasingly numurous, all over my body!, were cancer eating away at me, unbeknownst to me and that I would die and leave my family without a Mama. And that's just the easiest stuff to write out! I've been having a rough time, to say the least.

Now, it is possible, I suppose, that today could just be a blip. A sort of cosmic joke, "Oh, you think you have it all figured out, DO YA? Well, here's one on YOU!" That's entirely possible, though I pray that is NOT the case.

But today I haven't had any anxiety. I've felt my normal... no BETTER than MY normal!!! The only difference between yesterday and today is that I did NOT have honey nut cereal for breakfast. Instead, I made oatmeal with apples. I did NOT have a sandwhich for lunch. I had some potatoes (actually it was leftover warm potato salad Jess made on his last day off: YUM!). And then for dinner I had a rice stir fry instead of something else with wheat/gluten in it. I feel more awake, less belly-achey, and MUCH less depressed/anxiety ridden than I've felt in a LONG time!!!! And the coup de gras... the only poop I've pooped was solid!!! Okay, so you may think that's a bit much, but if you're someone like I've been, poop is a pretty big issue! It's a JOY to have a solid movement! And to be able to FART!!!! YIPPEEE!!! ^_^ No, SERIOUSLY! I haven't had to run to the toilet just to fart!!! Okay, so when I'm preggie I can usually pass the stinky gas without a bathroom visit, but it's been such a long time since I've done it without concern otherwise!

If this is it, it makes SO much sense why I was having SUCH physical problems after Kat was born. We were almost exclusively living off our food storage... grinding our wheat to make bread and everything else! And I had SUCH problems. Oh, I hope this is it!!!

Needless to say, I'm going to continue this experiment. And along with it comes a new list of blogs I'm gathering. If this really is a thing for me to deal with, I have to make quite a few changes. I'll need to add on more non-wheat items to our Food Storage, learn how to bake without wheat, and figure out if I am SUPER sensitive or just a bit (some people can't eat oats that have been processed around gluten)... so much to do. Of course, I'm just going to continue on with the experiment at first, but there's no harm in learning more... especially since I think Kat and Tea might have gluten sensitivities, too!

THANK YOU MOM!!! You are an awesome Mom with a true Mother's heart: endlessly concerned with her children's welfare. I hope to emulate your awesome example!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

I Was In Denial

Mother's Day was a difficult day for me. There was the wonderful baby's first crawl and the awesome surprise that Jess was ready to be picked up at around 4:30pm (when I thought he wouldn't be home till MUCH later), followed by a family dinner. I LOVE family meals and try to make them happen as much as possible, to that was a GRAND gift to me. On top of that Jess made a card for me with the girls. (Read: he took them to the back room and I had, like, FIFTEEN whole minutes with NO ONE near me. I love my kids, but 5 days of no one else around since they've been sick, Daddy leaves for work before they get up, and we haven't been around others... well, I think you might feel similarly.) The card was wonderful because in it he wrote the things he doesn't say. Oh, how I NEED those Words of Affirmation! I felt it keenly (and still do) when my heart got all achy over his sweet compliments and acknowledgments!

I was in denial, though. Jess had to be at work at 5am. I could've asked for a ride to church, but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to go (or stay for all the meetings). So, I had to drive him. Thankfully I did or I wouldn't have been able to go to church for just the sacrament (which is what I did do). The expectation was that he would work ALL day (as he closes on Sundays). So, I was in denial about having to deal with a worse-than-normal-day on Mother's Day.

But if I had been in any way able to mentally deal with the whole concept of Mother's Day, I'd want to have written something like this: My Mom is My Sunrise! I hope you will read it. It's awesome and wonderfully written and, basically, says what I would like to say. I think Terresa put it much more wonderfully than I would have! But still.... Oh, and make sure you scroll down and see how she labels a picture of her children! Oh, and I love her mudflaps (a little further down)!! And if you scroll way down, you'll find a cute picture with a little note-quote about how she probably thinks of family. And then, a little further down, look for a quote by Anne Frank. She's my kind of gal! And I totally only just read her blog for the first time tonight because she commented on one of my posts. What a wonder this web!!!!


Yes, she is! Tea is officially crawling. She took her first successful crawl (with legs moving forward as well as hands!) on Mother's Day!!! What a precious gift, right!! Her crawl is still not totally confident and she takes lots of breaks, but she's ON THE MOVE! Can you believe it? She's my earliest crawler!!! (She's 6 months old now.)

Did I mention that she started pulling up on things a couple weeks ago? I was amazed and totally pleased (in case I didn't share it). This is basically what Ria did, too. Though Ria was a couple months later in the pulling up and she crawled that same month (7 months old). Ria was walking at 9 months. I still have hopes that Tea will walk before her next month birthday (on the 25th) for selfish and selfless reasons. Selfish: She won't be as needy. Selfless: She'll be more independent and able to begin playing with her sisters rather than watching with longing as they scamper about! (I'll lose my constant companion!) It's little bits of losing them their whole life, I guess. But, to lose them is a joy because I gain wonderful companions in the end (if my Mom's opinion of her kiddos is my success as well!).

One of the greatest compliments I've ever been given was by my Dad. He told me, outside a teacher training meeting, that if I was trying to be a Mom like my Mom, I'd succeeded. I didn't accept the compliment at the time. I still don't, mostly. At the time, in my mind I said something like, "I can't be like my Mom. Ria's only __(however many months old she was)___ AND I only have ONE child, my Mom has SIX! I don't know ANYthing about being a Mom yet. But, maybe one day I'll deserve that compliment."

Well, Dad, I'm still working on deserving it. I feel that, on my good days, I might be getting closer! ^_^ Of course, those days aren't terribly often... BUT they are getting more frequent. YEAY!!!!!

Back to Tea... she's getting well. I'm so relieved because that means we'll be done with this crud soon. Oh... I DO hope so!!

Now, for Kat!

Monday, May 11, 2009

Do You Hear What I Hear?

This is very interesting to me. It's about homeschooling.

Perhaps a bit much... but perhaps not!?? The contents are not all in line with my personal beliefs. I just thought it was interesting and something to think about.

What do you think?

Steps or a Hurdle

I know Heavenly Father knows me best, so obviously steps are best for me. I say so with regard to illness amongst my daughters. Ria is better, Kat and Tea are sick. *sigh* I'm tired of my girls being ill, but feel hopeful that we'll be through this mess really soon. Jess seems to have caught it, too... which is REALLY unusual! I'm confident, though, that he'll sleep all night tonight and some tomorrow and be fit as a fiddle again. (Why do we say a fiddle, anyway??!!) I think it would be a high hurdle for me to deal with all three sick at the same exact time. I hope I will continue to be blessed with steps even though they extend the duration of our isolation.

I know Father has all power to heal and that we only become well through Hope, Faith, His Will to that end, and perhaps some properly applied remedies (including meds) & nutritional adjustments might make a difference. If anything I do makes a difference (either through placebo effect or actual), then I'd have to say I'm newly in love with Cold Pressed Castor Oil and vegetables. I also have a greater respect for the detrimental effects of sugar on the body. Cold pressed castor oil has really seemed to give some relief to my daughters breathing as they have worn compresses through this nasty bug they've had. I'm so grateful!

Additionally, I've been using it as a pack on my lower belly. I've had some pretty unreliable bowels in the last many years. Often it's been easier to be preggie, amazingly enough, because my bowels would be more regular and less full of pain. Though whatever the problem has been does not seem to be completely fixed as yet, my body is feeling better and there's a lot less pain. I wear the pack for about 2 hours at night with some heat on it for about 1.5 hours. An added plus is that stretch marks I've had in that part of my abdomen for as long as I can remember (before kids!) seem to be almost disappearing. What a pleasure! I'm on day 6, tonight and will repeat tomorrow and then take a short break and begin again. I'm not sure how long I will continue, but I have great hopes that this is information Father has put in my way to help me on the road to recovery!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Lift Up the Hands that Hang Down

My hands have been feeling quite low to the ground for a few reasons. On of them is that my girls have continued to be sick. :( Kat started with a fever again at around 12:30am today (Thursday morning). Ria is almost better (YEAY!!), but still has a slight cough. Tea is quite a bit better (I think), but still coughs here and there. On top of that Jess is working lots. Monday it was 15 hours. Today it'll end up around 14 or so. It's been rough to bear the burden of our kids needs without him able to come home at a call.

Ria is significantly improved enough that I felt she should be able to go to Dance today, but I did NOT feel good about taking Kat into a crowd with a fever and all. So, I racked my brain for someone I could ask to help me. (Note: I do not enjoy asking for help. I actually dislike it quite passionately as I'm a pretty darn independent girl. I'm sure my family will nod their heads in agreement.)

Finally I realized I should call my Visiting Teachers. So, I did. I didn't get to speak to either, though. Lesley called back soonest and, even though I didn't feel all weepy or ANYthing when I picked up the phone, as soon as I tried to just lay it out and ask for help I started to have an uncontrollable voice. No tears, but I was certainly crying in my voice! Tears would have been easier cause at least she wouldn't have been able to SEE them! *sigh* I couldn't even get anything comprehensible out of my mouth and she was asking if she could come over and help me! What a sweet and wonderful Sister! I eventually communicated that I was really asking if she could take Ria to Dance and she said she would totally be happy to and we were talking about the time of the class and when she'd need to be by. I guess there was something in the way I was talking with her because she asked if she could come over after she made another phone call. I felt SUCH a wave of relief flow over and through me as I told her I would love it if she did. And she did!

I planned to ask her to hold Tea so I could take care of a mess I found in my room yesterday. But do you know what she did? She totally took care of the WHOLE thing!!! She worked and we talked. I helped a little, but ended up holding my fussy, hungry, tired baby almost the whole time! As we talked and spent time together, I felt more and more of the burden I'd been feeling these last many days lift from me. Seriously, I've never felt anything quite like it before. It took her a little more than an hour, but she cleaned that mess up. And, I should add, she did it better than I would have thought to do! What a blessing! In her service to me, which she poohpoohed many times, Lesley lifted my hands up mightily!! I felt that I should share an experience with her and since I'm not sure if I've written it out before I'm going to do that here, too. It's lovely, so even if I have, I think it's worth repeating - especially for myself.

So, when I still lived in VA, my Mom and went to the temple, just the two of us, 1 time. It was a wonderful trip! We talked SO much and it was just WONDERFUL (at least it was for me). One of our main topics of conversation was Angels. I shared with my Mom that I thought it would be really wonderful if I could actually SEE angels in general... and that I'd heard that it was even more possible to see them in the temple. In my heart I was wishing really hard to see an angel that day.

Well, in the DC temple you can climb stairs or take an elevator. Usually (the few times I went there) we would climb the stairs. The stairwells are lovely with stained glass and it feels just as wonderful there as in the rest of the temple. This time my Mom was walking toward the stairs and I felt almost as if I couldn't move away from the elevator. My Mom asked if I wanted to take the elevator and I said I thought I did. So, we were waiting for the doors to slide open and I'm standing there wishing and hoping so hard that I'll get to see and Angel sometime while we're in the temple. Then the doors open. Before me I see a small crowd of temple workers. All dressed in pure white. Almost all with white hair. And the voice of the Holy Ghost whispered to my mind, "These are
your angels." And I realized that I didn't NEED to see an angel that day or any day - ever - not the kind I'd been wishing to see, anyway. I realized that I just needed to open my eyes to the angels around me every day!

So, I try.

After I shared that story with Lesley, I told her that she was definitely an angel in my life and especially right then and there. She denied it saying that she wasn't good enough for that. And I explained that Earth Angels aren't perfect, but they are no less angelic in their ministrations. She may have blushed, but she accepted the compliment after that.

I've felt so much better since that time with her today! I've known for a while now that there are hormones/chemicals released in the body of those who serve, those who receive service, and those who observe service in action... but it's not been terribly often than I'm on the receiving end of this kind of service... desperately needed and personally requested!!

Anyway, I just wanted to share my angel experience. ^_^ I hope that if you have hands that are droopy, you might feel able to request some lifting. It's totally worth the discomfort (if you're like me and feel that you should be able to manage on your own).

Tuesday, May 5, 2009


I didn't realize, the last time I wrote, that I was out of my poetry month. WOW! I did it and didn't even know it. :) YEAY ME!

Now that Poetry Month is no longer, I'm back to my regular thoughts and sharing. You may prefer not to linger. If not, I'm sorry to lose ya! If you want poems, let me know and I'll try to write some with some regularity. ^_^

Us Lately
So, things are starting to seem all right, regarding my kiddos health. Hopefully.

I was on the computer the last few days, but I didn't feel up to processing my thoughts and feelings into a post. I was, admittedly, very stressed about the illnesses.

Thank you for praying for us, if you did. Ria still as some cough stuff going on, but it is clearing up. Hopefully we'll be able to go to Story Time and Dance on the day appointed for them! ^_^ I'm grateful for God's mercy and willingness to allow me to be the Mama to these wonderful girls (even when I feel they aren't so wonderful, I KNOW they are!).

I administer a number of natural remedies to help us through our illnesses. Have I ever mentioned that? I usually do not use all of them every time. Have your heard of Colloidal Silver? Ester C? Echinacea? Cold Pressed Castor Oil? Breastmilk? (Actually, on that last one... THE perfect natural pharmacopia if ever there was one!!!!!!!! Makes me glad I lactate for so long after each babe!!)

I have a hunger and yearning to "attend" an online school I found a while ago to learn herbs and their uses and become, first a Family Herbalist and then, perhaps more. I'd also like to study some other "alternative health and healing" type stuff, but money is the missing link in all of that hunger and yearning. I do hope that Father will see fit to provide for my studies at some point - as He has in all else - because I would like to do what this lady I recently learned about does. She's a Reflexologist and charges a really minimal fee for visits and wholesale for supplements because she says that Father gave her the gift and she believes she should only require as payment that which is necessary for her basic needs. That's my kind of lady! I actually hope to go see her before too long. I'm super interested in that study, but also interested to see what she'd say about me... and her cost is WAY less than any Doc!! :) Now, that doesn't mean that I believe I have a "gift" for healing or anything. But I think, sometimes, Father bestows desire as our gift. I definitely have THAT.

Anyway, I mention the natural remedies we use because these "things" are, in a big way, sort of crutches for my Faith. I always feel myself like the man (in the Bible) who brought his afflicted son to Jesus and said something like, Please work on my unbelief. *sigh* Perhaps everyone feels this way and I'm just sensitive about my own Spiritual development because I spent a good chunk of time off of the path I know is right. But there IS this one verse in the Book of Mormon that says something about the people using herbs that Heavenly Father had provided for the treatement of fevers. And that makes me feel even more like I want to know herbs and help people use them (as good stewards, of course).

Currently I'm learning more, through an awesome book, about Cold Pressed Castor Oil. We were introduce to this item via our Birth Class Instructor back in VA: Claudia Souther. She's A-MA-ZING! She was actually the lady who introduces Jess and me to some other non-mainstream parenting ideas... and then it was sort of a big ol' snowball that kept on-a-building after that. Anyway. It's an awesome book. I'm looking forward to sharing more as I learn and experiment.

I just realized it's CINCO DE MAYO! ^_^ hehehe

Friday, May 1, 2009


So, after I wrote the last poem and before I went to bed;
I checked on Ria because I had the real fear that she's be dead.

(Yes, I know this is extreme.
It's a problem, these things I see in my waking dream.

I've had these waking dreams
as long as I can remember, from my mind beams.)

Well, when I checked on her,
her breathing was odd and I caused her to stir.

She happened to wake up and she was struggling to take in air.
I was alarmed, Jess woke up... MAN, we were a pair.

Jess comforted her for just a little while,
then handed her to me to hold her in Mama style.

In my mind I prayed for heavenly permission
to bring my eldest babe to Earth's own perdition.

Yes, the generally unwanted place - hospital,
was my hearts great desire - oh, so tall!

But the answer was a firm NO.
Yet, stubborn as I am, I couldn't let go.

I asked a few more times.
I can't think of more rhymes.

But each time I asked Father responded in a definite way.
And after a few tries I came to accept that a trip would not be today.

Ria and I began to, together, pray.
And she almost immediately began to breathe in an easier way.

She and I felt tremendous comfort.
Such joy in feeling answer to prayer of that sort.

Jess had been busy
gathering information in a tizzy.

He wanted to be ready
in case I wanted to make the trip, and was, in my decision, steady.

We both felt calm,
Gilead's own special balm!

A bit a rollercoaster for Mama since.
Over-all Ria seems to be better, I say to, me convince.

It's so difficult for Mama-at-home-all-day
to tell when there are changes either way.

Her breathing really did seem easier through most of our day.
She even felt well enough to, with Kat, run and play.

I have hope that all will be well.
Regardless of the overactive-fear-hole in which I fell.

Thank you for your prayers after reading.
I hope you'll continue to send them our way, speeding. :)

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