Showing posts with label homeschooling. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homeschooling. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Monday, May 11, 2009
Do You Hear What I Hear?
This is very interesting to me. It's about homeschooling.
Perhaps a bit much... but perhaps not!?? The contents are not all in line with my personal beliefs. I just thought it was interesting and something to think about.
What do you think?
Monday, March 30, 2009
But You Won't Get a Break
I had a brief conversation with my neighbor and during the course of it she asked if Ria would be starting preschool next year. (I guess that goes to show how petite Princess Ria is. ^_^) When I told her NO, that I was homeschooling and that Ria had already started, my neighbor just looked horrified. I couldn't quite figure out why she looked so upset until she spoke those words, "But you won't get a break! When will you get a break??!" I responded with something like, "Well, I'm a home-stay Mom anyway...."
My real reaction: WOW!
You see, I know many women feel this way and would never consider homeschooling because they look forward to the idea of decreasing their responsibility for a few hours a day when the older child(ren) goes(go) off to school. But no one has ever SAID this to ME. I was rather disappointed that someone did.... I know it's a very clear window into her feelings about being a home-stay Mama, but still.
To be completely honest, I have felt very poignantly the endlessness of being with my children. Actually, up until about a year ago (maybe a little more than that) I was a pretty miserable home-stay Mom. By miserable I'm referring to the feeling I had that I didn't EVER get enough time alone... blah, blah, blah. I don't know exactly what changed, bu I'm going to guess it has a tremendous amount to do with something my dear friend Sage said to me. Her words (as many of them do) made a DEEP impact and I've been changing bit by bit ever since, I think. And, the best part, the biggest part of the change has been without much effort.
How? A weight has been slowly lifting.
Would you like to read her profound words? (Profound to me, at least.) And, please, keep in mind these words are uttered by a woman who is an easy and NATURAL Mother who loves to BE with her children and cuddle and hold them. I was expressing frustrations over a number of different home-stay-Mom issues (like not having time to myself and being over-touched). I said something like, "I feel like a bad Mom. I don't feel like I like being a Mom at all, but I WANT to like it. This is the only job I want at all, EVER... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!???" I probably didn't exactly yell that last bit, but I'm sure I said it with some hysteria and probably tears, too.
What did Sage say? She said after a brief pause in which I was sure she was agreeing in her mind that I was a horrible Mother, "I think that it takes time, sometimes, to grow to love being a Mom." We discussed this idea. She confessed that she'd not had to grow to love it, but that it wasn't a horrible thing if someone did. Sage words from a most loving Mama, to me (at the time I felt like the antithesis of her!).
I'm not sure if I felt it in that moment, but I certainly have felt this pressure of self-depreciation and personal haranguing lift bit by bit ever since she said that to me! The effort on my part; perhaps I'm forgiving myself more daily and allowing myself to change in due time. Maybe I accept my bad moments with a little more grace and try to visualize myself as the Mama (Sage-like) that I want to be.... especially after a bad moment. I've been trying to re-run the scene with me behaving differently immediately following Mama acting baddly - not always successful, but trying.
Currently, most days I love being a Mama even though I still fuss too much and threaten various forms of punishment too often and send my kiddos to their rooms too often. Now-a-days, I actually spend moments of just sitting with Tea and Kat (sometimes Ria, but she's often busy with something on her own) and cuddling. This is something I didn't allow myself time for and could barely tolerate a little over a year ago. I still have a lame touch limit (too low for a good Mama), but it's getting better.
I know Father gave me this HUMONGO blessing when he put me in the way to know the sage my friend Sage!!!
So, even though my neighbor said something that would have hurt because of it's truth speaking a year or so ago, it doesn't hurt now. It just surprised me. There are moments, for sure, that I still want more time alone or something. But I do have time to myself (mostly at night and not quite completely by myself because I have Tea), but it's enough most of the time.
Isn't it wonderful, to be able to see self-improvement?
In what ways have you changed in the last year that you feel really good about? Of course, there may be something (like this one for me) that you won't even realize until there's a magnifying glass of someone's words placed over it... but still. I'm sure you've progressed in some wonderful ways and I would love to learn of those that you are aware of! ^_^
My real reaction: WOW!
You see, I know many women feel this way and would never consider homeschooling because they look forward to the idea of decreasing their responsibility for a few hours a day when the older child(ren) goes(go) off to school. But no one has ever SAID this to ME. I was rather disappointed that someone did.... I know it's a very clear window into her feelings about being a home-stay Mama, but still.
To be completely honest, I have felt very poignantly the endlessness of being with my children. Actually, up until about a year ago (maybe a little more than that) I was a pretty miserable home-stay Mom. By miserable I'm referring to the feeling I had that I didn't EVER get enough time alone... blah, blah, blah. I don't know exactly what changed, bu I'm going to guess it has a tremendous amount to do with something my dear friend Sage said to me. Her words (as many of them do) made a DEEP impact and I've been changing bit by bit ever since, I think. And, the best part, the biggest part of the change has been without much effort.
How? A weight has been slowly lifting.
Would you like to read her profound words? (Profound to me, at least.) And, please, keep in mind these words are uttered by a woman who is an easy and NATURAL Mother who loves to BE with her children and cuddle and hold them. I was expressing frustrations over a number of different home-stay-Mom issues (like not having time to myself and being over-touched). I said something like, "I feel like a bad Mom. I don't feel like I like being a Mom at all, but I WANT to like it. This is the only job I want at all, EVER... WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!!!???" I probably didn't exactly yell that last bit, but I'm sure I said it with some hysteria and probably tears, too.
What did Sage say? She said after a brief pause in which I was sure she was agreeing in her mind that I was a horrible Mother, "I think that it takes time, sometimes, to grow to love being a Mom." We discussed this idea. She confessed that she'd not had to grow to love it, but that it wasn't a horrible thing if someone did. Sage words from a most loving Mama, to me (at the time I felt like the antithesis of her!).
I'm not sure if I felt it in that moment, but I certainly have felt this pressure of self-depreciation and personal haranguing lift bit by bit ever since she said that to me! The effort on my part; perhaps I'm forgiving myself more daily and allowing myself to change in due time. Maybe I accept my bad moments with a little more grace and try to visualize myself as the Mama (Sage-like) that I want to be.... especially after a bad moment. I've been trying to re-run the scene with me behaving differently immediately following Mama acting baddly - not always successful, but trying.
Currently, most days I love being a Mama even though I still fuss too much and threaten various forms of punishment too often and send my kiddos to their rooms too often. Now-a-days, I actually spend moments of just sitting with Tea and Kat (sometimes Ria, but she's often busy with something on her own) and cuddling. This is something I didn't allow myself time for and could barely tolerate a little over a year ago. I still have a lame touch limit (too low for a good Mama), but it's getting better.
I know Father gave me this HUMONGO blessing when he put me in the way to know the sage my friend Sage!!!
So, even though my neighbor said something that would have hurt because of it's truth speaking a year or so ago, it doesn't hurt now. It just surprised me. There are moments, for sure, that I still want more time alone or something. But I do have time to myself (mostly at night and not quite completely by myself because I have Tea), but it's enough most of the time.
Isn't it wonderful, to be able to see self-improvement?
In what ways have you changed in the last year that you feel really good about? Of course, there may be something (like this one for me) that you won't even realize until there's a magnifying glass of someone's words placed over it... but still. I'm sure you've progressed in some wonderful ways and I would love to learn of those that you are aware of! ^_^
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Thursday, June 12, 2008
What Husbands Don't Know
And how can they? They rarely, if ever have an opportunity to feel the constant weight of all that being a Mama entails. I know that working Mamas do NOT have THE life, but it's not all bon-bons and sugar snaps on the stay-at-home front, either! I'm thinking about the difficulties of my SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) life because of the confrontation with Jess of the other night. I try to express to him the weight of the responsibilities I carry as well as the actual time consumption aspect of them. But I honestly feel that my DH (dear husband) really just does not hear me most of the time I speak, much less get the full meaning of the details I share. I have felt that he may, perhaps, read this blog, though. So, perhaps some of what I'm able to convey through writing (sometimes I think it is my best mode of communication, anyway) will reach him as my words when spoken have and do not.
The jobs of a Mama (SAH, specifically):
--------------Spend time with the child(ren). This, I believe is THE most important job a Mama (any) has and can fulfill. However, as you will see (if you're a dude; I know the Mamas reading already know all this!) there isn't all that much time for a SAHM to fulfill this aspect of her calling if she is expected to maintain every other job she may be (usually is) expected to juggle solo if the juggling is supposed to be maintained to HIS satisfaction (even her own degree of perfection/satisfaction however far from his that may be)!
--------------Stay/get fit by exercising to the degree necessary to lose the baby weight, lose other fatness gained over time, and/or maintain Mama's own physical comfort level. This is REALLY difficult for lots of women... especially new Mamas. It's difficult to find activities that work the body enough to accomplish the results sought after and be okay with spending the time doing that work either away from the kiddo(s) OR ignoring him/her/them long enough to get the exercise in. This is emotionally taxing for any woman and even more so for women like me who feel UBER responsible for their children (meaning that turning them over to others' care feels hyper uncomfy - even Daddy in the first 6 months!!!).
--------------Stay sane and emotionally "full" by accomplishing something each day or week that enables the Mama to relax or feel individuated. (In the last conference (LDS) one of our leaders addressed this, OH SO IMPORTANT, issue!!!!) This is so very important because an empty Mama has nothing to give the kiddo(s) much less the Daddy! Yet, even if the Mama knows the necessity of this it is still difficult for any woman in a situation in which she would either have to have a babysitter when Daddy is at work (and they don't have money for that OR she feels like she really shouldn't turn the responsibility of her children over to someone else) OR they have to have Daddy watch the kiddo(s) when he IS home. This is not a problem for Jess, but I still feel sort of guilty SOME of the time asking/requiring more of him after he's worked two jobs all week. The only thing I do with any semblance of regularity when he's around to watch the girls is exercise, which is totally beneficial, but not exactly relaxing. So it doesn't really accomplish the staying "full" bit to the degree that completing an activity that I enjoy that is also really relaxing and mentally stimulating does/would. After going through this situation (Jess working two jobs) I would totally NOT allow myself to feel guilty asking him to take care of our kiddos while I get out of dodge for an hour or two if he had only one job!
-------------Keep the house up to par. While this IS important it is, to me, the least important of many other "balls" I keep in the air at any given moment. It is also one of the most time consuming and emotionally draining (stressful!) of most issues facing any Mama. This item encompasses so many separate items. While I will not cover every mundane item, I'm going to list some and my personal feelings about them/issues with them.
--------------------------Laundry: one of the NEVER-ending jobs. The moment it is caught up with, there is more to do! This job is particularly annoying to me BECAUSE it never ends... and only gets BIGGER as there are more children to clean up after. My problem here is not the children, but the fact that I'm the only one cleaning after them. Not only does a Mama have to remember to wash (not so difficult since the piles are sitting there in front of you), but we also have to remember to get them into the dryer in a timely fashion, (otherwise they start to smell like an old person - no offense to old people!) and then to make time to fold them AND put them away in some sort of order that makes sense to the other partner AS WELL as self since he will, hopefully, be helping to dress the child(ren) once in a while, if not regularly! And then there's the SUPER annoyance of the partner or child(ren) not giving a witches wart whether the items previously folded STAY in any semblance of order. This whole section was so totally NOT a problem when it was just Jess and me or even when Ria was the only child. But I can see this area of my life becoming super huge and what I already have to deal with is overwhelming enough - day in and day out!
--------------------------Dishes: the OTHER of the never-ending jobs that I, personally, despise. I know women who actually enjoy dishes. GOOD FOR YOU! I, however, am NOT one of them. I have, even, tried to change my mind into one like those who enjoy this task. I failed miserably! I think I could even go so far as to say that I hate to do dishes.
Jess and I had a deal early on that if he cooked, I would clean up... and vice versa. If I was lucky I may have seen the realization of that deal a whole handful OR two times! It's not happened consistently. (Of course not, you're thinking if you're a woman married longer than 18 months!) It is no longer reasonable for me to expect it to happen according to our deal anymore. I realize this. However, I also realize that when Jess IS home he sleeps a REALLY lot. And he cooks. And he STILL thinks I should clean up after him/us!!! After I have cooked ALL week (and yes, I usually DO cook for the lunches we share as a family!!!) AND cleaned up afterward. Seriously, people! Ooops, I meant: SERIOUSLY Jessie!
NOTE TO READER: these things I'm pointing out as gripes do NOT usually bother me. By this I mean that I'm not all down in the mouth and angry all the time because of all that I have in my head and weighing me down emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (to some extent)... at least I'm not anymore. I just recognize them as parts of life to deal with and feel happiness in the things that are happy to me (and there ARE plenty, truly!). I am simply illustrating for other clueless members of the male "species" those things than trouble lots of women (I think I should know since I am one, after all... AND since I also happen to speak with lots of them!). I just want to make it clear that I actually love my life most of the time. While I do love my life, I still want to make these issues very clear to the member of the Mars Clan who is most important to me: Jessie.
BACK TO THE ISSUES
-----------------------------General ORDER: This is hugely annoying to Jessie because he just doesn't seem to be able to ignore the little things on the floor. I'm sure it's also annoying because he thinks, "All she has to do it get Ria to pick it up!" But, you see, there-in lies the problem! What child WANTS to pick up their toys regularly? Okay, so regularly in our home because of Daddy's schedule means twice a day... a little excessive for any kid. But if she wasn't such a snotty butt about it I would totally be okay with asking her to clean up her stuff an hour before Jess gets home at 2pm and then before bed. But I really dislike fussing at my daughter. I have anger issues I'm trying to overcome, remember?!! There are plenty enough stupid little things I have to mentally wrestle with myself over so that I don't blow a fuse every hour on the hour... I don't want to add fussing at Ria to pick up twice a day. But, I have. It's an issue to Jess, so I'm trying to get Ria to clean up her stuff so it won't be on the floor when he gets home (TWICE A DAY!).
----------------------------Sweeping/Mopping: To be totally honest, I don't even bother mopping with any regularity. Ria gets to earn some money sometimes by cleaning spots. We barter for the price of each spot, then we work with money after the jobs are done. It can be quite fun. I don't mind that so much. But when the whole house is troubled (as in dirt actually STUCK to the floor rather than just hanging out there) that job is so much more frustrating than simply mopping would be. You see, I have two small children who sleep like me. So what? you say. SO... that means I can't do much of anything that makes any sort of noise anywhere near them - especially since our house echoes a bit. And sweeping is only half as frustrating as mopping. The girls will, for the most part, stay out of the way in the room I'm working on. The previous sentence is where the problem with mopping lies... they think they can play in the room I've finished. But, of course, they really can't because the floor is WET. Ah the minute annoyances that combine to drive a Mama MAD!
----------------------------Maintaining extended family relations AND contact with local and long-distance friends. Admittedly the friends are a part of a Mamas way to stay sane, but for an LDS lady they are also very likely part of her responsibility, too (like VTing, which I LOVE, but is also a stressor, however positive, at times). While this area of responsibility is one of the most enjoyable of the many jobs a/this Mama has, it IS exhausting at times because there are periods of days, at least for me, when I just don't want to talk to ANYbody! (Like the last couple days, for instance!) But if one who communicates suddenly goes incommunicado, even if for only a few days, people start to worry that you've gone all weird like you did after 9-11. Just as a source of comfort... even during my worst and darkest months of PPD (post partum depression) I don't think I was as bad as I was at my worst after 9-11! This is a key bit of info for anyone who knows me. Let me break it down. YES, I DO get depressed. Sometimes, even, REALLY depressed. But if it doesn't get to the point I was at in during the PPD I suffered with after Ria, then I'm really REALLY quite okay (because it's no where near as bad as I've visited in my life!). No matter how long it takes, I DO (usually with the help of God and/or a loved one) pull myself up or kick my own butt out of it! I cannot foresee an event (barring Jessie cheating, beating any of us, or a child's death) that would put me over the edge I've already visited regularly! Since PPD I haven't been anywhere near that edge. After 9-11 I was, admittedly, bungee jumping off of it with a faulty bungee (thankfully it didn't fail completely while I was jumping!), but I'm quite okay! Aren't I? haha just a joke. I totally AM okay!!!
--------------------------------BLOG could actually be part of the last section or part of WORK FOR MONEY, but since the latter is not so much pertinent and the former doesn't really qualify (since most of my extended family does not read my blog) I'm making it a separate area. I think it's appropriate to include because it's pleasurable for me, but I also feel sort of like I NEED to do it, too. Jessie's family keeps up with us through it, after all, and he has shared the URL with more people from work than I have with my own friends!
--------------------------------BILLS are not necessarily a woman's job, but they are THIS woman's job. I'm not saying, at all, by any of the following that I do not want this job. I know the I'm more capable, so I do it and I try really hard not to complain often or loudly about it. However, I am going to enumerate the difficulties for my DH and any other man whose wife silently bends under the weight of THIS responsibility. #1 problem: it's ALWAYS there (unless you're super smart and have no debt whatsoever!). #2 problem: not wanting to mention it as much as it nags at the sides or stage of my brain because I don't want to stress my DH out as much as I feel stressed (at least, not most of the time). #3 problem: it's ALWAYS there! #4 problem: Did I mention it's ALWAYS there??? #5 problem: oh yeah, THERE it is AGAIN! Seriously, though... the worst of the #ed problems is the constant fear (or resurfacing of the reality) that there will not be enough money to cover the requests and requirements for said money!
-------------------------------HOMESCHOOLING--------------------------------------
Yes, this is NOT a job every SAHM undertakes, so perhaps it shouldn't be considered at part of the tasks inherent to the work. But since this is MY Blog, it IS! Also... I do believe a majority of parents who value their child(ren) and those child(ren)'s education over the things they could otherwise do or have FOR their children will one day choose to homeschool.
Now, I do NOT mean School at Home, here. I mean HOMESCHOOL! There is a HUGE and fundamental difference. One is MUCH easier than the other. Can you guess which is easier? If you said School at Home, then.... ding-ding-ding... you are RIGHT! And this is only ONE of the many issues a prospective homeschool parent, who is also a responsible parent, need inform themselves about. (Do you see the invested time studying, reading, and learning inherent in reading between the words of that last sentence???)
Homeschooling is FULL of issues that, to be responsible in the undertaking, a parent (at least one of them) has to read up on and make firm decisions about. I have only begun to scratch the surface on this area (researching issues and making decisions). In only 2 days I spent more than 8 hours in that research. Okay, so that's technically "only" part-time work. But combine it with all the other things I need to/should/want to do each day and there is WAY more to do daily than can BE done in the 16 hours I'm awake... which should really only be TWELVE since I'm preggie. Did ya know THAT? Pregnant women are SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED to sleep at least 12 hours a day. That's how TAXING pregnancy is!!! (Yes, I know, if you are a woman you are laughing your butt into shapely sexiness at the idea of regularly sleeping 12 hours each day - even IF preggie... but that's what the reading I've done suggests!)
Note to self: add pregnancy as another of the many exhausting (mentally, physically, emotionally, AND spiritually) things I do as a woman/Mama!!!!!
BACK to HOMESCHOOLING
So there are the issues to research= TIME and MUCHO TIEMBRE!!!
Then there's the actual preparation of WHAT to teach. (Did you see more hours of research and decision making inherent in that first/only sentence?? Yep, it's HOURS and not just HOURS once in a while, but, I'd say, at least once a week to figure out the week ahead If you're that organized)!!!
--------My personal first step into this realm of actually focusing on homeschooling (rather than just teaching reading as I have been doing) as someone who believes herself to be a responsible homeschooler, is to determine WHERE to go and WHAT to do with my homeschooling child. HOW does one do that?? Well, a really great starting point (I think) is to figure out what the state or commonwealth in which you reside expects of a child at any given grade level; perhaps first focusing on the grade the child would next enter as a result of their numerical age. This means both the minimum standards AS WELL AS what the parent has to do to jump through the hoops established by TPTB (the powers that be) for those who choose to go against the mainstream TO homeschool!
Now, you could probably get your local librarian to help you locate all the pertinent info (online or off), but that requires the time and opportunity to do such a thing during normal operating hours. Do you see the futility of such a proposition if you have a toddller or more roaming around??? You could get the URL(s) from a teacher you know (if you know one with whom you feel comfy speaking about the alternative education of your child) OR you'll have to do a little digging for the information on your own. (Did you hear another bit of minutes piled together to get that info!??)
Once you find said info you have to either export it, copy and print it, copy the info into a safe notebook, and/or print it out for regular access/planning purposes... Then you have to read and evaluate what is in front of you. Do you think TPTB make it easy for a layperson to understand the establishment's expectations of their educational system. Uhhh... NO!!!! Why the heck would they make it easy!!?? They don't WANT you taking their tax money away by keeping your child home! And if you think I'm just being paranoid, you have NOT informed yourself!!!!
Back to the subject: thankfully I do have a background in education, so most of the benchmark info is pretty easily decipherable, but it took me a few minutes to sort of alter my brain to function in teacher mode to GET what was written "plainly" in front of me! And I, given my teacher training, am still a little confused on some of the benchmarks for Math and Science (since my background was English THAT section, at least, made sense to me). I feel so sad for someone who doesn't have the background a trained teacher would (even if they never taught in public school)! There would be even MORE research/TIME! involved for translation purposes for such a person!!!!!
The next step is to determine how to present the material you've determined your child needs to learn/understand. More than likely, if you are homeschooling, you do NOT plan to stick to the basics required by your state, so there's more research into additional kinds of education and things developmentally appropriate for your child at their given stage. In this step is the decision about prepared curriculums vs. piecing it all together one's self... A whole cirriculum is attractive (possibly easier?!), but there-in lies a problem of money (for poor homeschoolers like muuuaaa). And if you do decide to use some existing material, you have to figure out if there are any inappropriate parts. Even Christian materials for a Christian (like myself) may contain questionable material (like the trinity, for instance, since that does NOT fit the cosmology/diety I know!).
Then there's presentation. Thankfully, for me! Ria (and most children, really) just loves to learn so MUCH that I could totally botch this section and she would still come away from the whole thing a much smarter chickie. But this step also requires some time. Often time spent on the preparation of presentation materials, thinking about how to share the info with the child, and then the actual DOING. Which brings me to:
Last, but CERTAINLY NOT least, there is the actual time spent on the education of the homeschooled child(ren). While this is, or at least, SHOULD be, enjoyable time spent with one's child, it is often fraught with annoyance and frustration - especially in the early days (after the first few really fun ones)! The child doesn't necessarily want to sit for extended periods of time (and I'm not even talking the kind of time they would have to sit in their desk at school - even for Kindergarten!) doing something other than what they actually CHOOSE/WANT to do at that moment. Ria LOVES school, but her fidgeting and fussing get really annoying really quickly. Okay, so you already know I've had anger issues... the previous sentence as an example of one of the many times during the day that I am extremely careful (since quitting the yelling about 4 weeks ago)!
The actual time spent on 1 subject (reading), for us, is usually only about 30-45 minutes. Sometimes even less, actually - like when I accidentally choose a WAY TOO EASY book for her to read! But since I've been feeling the need to really get INTO school we've been doing 3 and 4 subjects/learning lessons, which easily puts us up to 2 hours. Yes, this could (in theory) be split up through the day, but, in reality, the splitting doesn't work so well most days. I am most assuredly NOT complaining about this time. I'm simply illustrating the issues for the dude most important to me (and any curious by-standers that have made it this far).
---------------WORK to make MONEY--------------------------------------------
In case you're wondering, since I haven't mentioned it in quite a while, I have officially give up working my ETSY shop like a real business. I still intend to try to sell a bit around Christmas, but I'm not even hyped up about that any more. WHY?? Well, because Jessie made it SUPER clear that he was so totally not supportive of my efforts (because the house was the ball dropped when I added the WORK ball to the juggling). It's been really sad letting go of that dream of a way to get Jess home more, but it's also made my life easier. I honestly cannot imagine how others juggle it all WITH a creative job! And since Jess was totally unsupportive (he didn't DO anything to help, but he also was not okay with me letting the ball roll away from me either) I have completely dropped that ball. I even threw away the business cards associated with it. The store is still open, but I'm not advertising or trying to move prospective buyers my way.
However, when someone is involved in such a pursuit there are myriad time drains attached. I will list without explanation since it's not super pertinent to my life any longer. Creation of product, packaging of product, self-promotion (SO MUCH TIME!), market research, product research, comparison shopping to improve marketing, self-education on techniques to improve product, and so much more!
OUTSIDE CLASSES for CHILD(REN)
This is critical for the homeschooled child. Not only for the social interaction it provides and stimulates, but also for the change of environment inherent in GOING TO CLASS. While the activities are chosen by parent and/or child, there comes a time in every child's experience when they just want to quit. Ria arrived at that point very early in her dance year. Jess and I have decided how to deal with this situation and that's what we did. For every time a given child wants to quit something we will allow them to do so only after a give period of time. Ria was 3 when she wanted to quit and we never really had a conversation about this whole subject with her because by the following dance class she was excited and wanted to go and NEVER wanted to quit during the remainder of the school year. Currently she is asking when she will get to go back to dance class (we're off until September).
So, even though the parent gets to choose class times (for the most part) we have to live according to anothers' schedule for those classes. This past year Ria has attended Dance class, Story Time (not officially a class, but counts to her), and Joy School (which turned into Play At The Park). Because of shortage of fundage I could not enroll her in Karate (which I TOTALLY wanted to do!). And because we don't have a piano as yet (also no fundage) she has not started piano lessons (which would also be taxing if not imposible due to lack of money). I'm hoping to have enough money to start Ria (at least), but hopefully also Kat in swim classes. So as of August I WANT to have them both in swim class and the following month they will both start Dance! That's a significant amount of time AND money devoted to only two classes (for two children)!!!!
So, is there any wonder that a Mama feels overwhelmed on a regular basis? And, please, Jessie, (or random dude trying to learn a bit more about his Venus Bride) don't think this is a comprehensive explanation. These are only the things that are most present (CONSTANTLY) and pressing on THIS Mamas mind RIGHT NOW. There are more issues that are a bit more philosophical and troublesome more mentally and emotionally than these highlighted and verbosified upon. (Yes, verbosified is probably NOT a word, but I like to make things up... I'm a creative person, after all!) ^_^ I'm sure I've also forgotten one or two that troubles me regularly, but I forget things REALLY regularly. Can you imagine WHY!!?? After this tutorial, I would have to say you are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY HOPELESS if you answered the last question to the negative!
The jobs of a Mama (SAH, specifically):
--------------Spend time with the child(ren). This, I believe is THE most important job a Mama (any) has and can fulfill. However, as you will see (if you're a dude; I know the Mamas reading already know all this!) there isn't all that much time for a SAHM to fulfill this aspect of her calling if she is expected to maintain every other job she may be (usually is) expected to juggle solo if the juggling is supposed to be maintained to HIS satisfaction (even her own degree of perfection/satisfaction however far from his that may be)!
--------------Stay/get fit by exercising to the degree necessary to lose the baby weight, lose other fatness gained over time, and/or maintain Mama's own physical comfort level. This is REALLY difficult for lots of women... especially new Mamas. It's difficult to find activities that work the body enough to accomplish the results sought after and be okay with spending the time doing that work either away from the kiddo(s) OR ignoring him/her/them long enough to get the exercise in. This is emotionally taxing for any woman and even more so for women like me who feel UBER responsible for their children (meaning that turning them over to others' care feels hyper uncomfy - even Daddy in the first 6 months!!!).
--------------Stay sane and emotionally "full" by accomplishing something each day or week that enables the Mama to relax or feel individuated. (In the last conference (LDS) one of our leaders addressed this, OH SO IMPORTANT, issue!!!!) This is so very important because an empty Mama has nothing to give the kiddo(s) much less the Daddy! Yet, even if the Mama knows the necessity of this it is still difficult for any woman in a situation in which she would either have to have a babysitter when Daddy is at work (and they don't have money for that OR she feels like she really shouldn't turn the responsibility of her children over to someone else) OR they have to have Daddy watch the kiddo(s) when he IS home. This is not a problem for Jess, but I still feel sort of guilty SOME of the time asking/requiring more of him after he's worked two jobs all week. The only thing I do with any semblance of regularity when he's around to watch the girls is exercise, which is totally beneficial, but not exactly relaxing. So it doesn't really accomplish the staying "full" bit to the degree that completing an activity that I enjoy that is also really relaxing and mentally stimulating does/would. After going through this situation (Jess working two jobs) I would totally NOT allow myself to feel guilty asking him to take care of our kiddos while I get out of dodge for an hour or two if he had only one job!
-------------Keep the house up to par. While this IS important it is, to me, the least important of many other "balls" I keep in the air at any given moment. It is also one of the most time consuming and emotionally draining (stressful!) of most issues facing any Mama. This item encompasses so many separate items. While I will not cover every mundane item, I'm going to list some and my personal feelings about them/issues with them.
--------------------------Laundry: one of the NEVER-ending jobs. The moment it is caught up with, there is more to do! This job is particularly annoying to me BECAUSE it never ends... and only gets BIGGER as there are more children to clean up after. My problem here is not the children, but the fact that I'm the only one cleaning after them. Not only does a Mama have to remember to wash (not so difficult since the piles are sitting there in front of you), but we also have to remember to get them into the dryer in a timely fashion, (otherwise they start to smell like an old person - no offense to old people!) and then to make time to fold them AND put them away in some sort of order that makes sense to the other partner AS WELL as self since he will, hopefully, be helping to dress the child(ren) once in a while, if not regularly! And then there's the SUPER annoyance of the partner or child(ren) not giving a witches wart whether the items previously folded STAY in any semblance of order. This whole section was so totally NOT a problem when it was just Jess and me or even when Ria was the only child. But I can see this area of my life becoming super huge and what I already have to deal with is overwhelming enough - day in and day out!
--------------------------Dishes: the OTHER of the never-ending jobs that I, personally, despise. I know women who actually enjoy dishes. GOOD FOR YOU! I, however, am NOT one of them. I have, even, tried to change my mind into one like those who enjoy this task. I failed miserably! I think I could even go so far as to say that I hate to do dishes.
Jess and I had a deal early on that if he cooked, I would clean up... and vice versa. If I was lucky I may have seen the realization of that deal a whole handful OR two times! It's not happened consistently. (Of course not, you're thinking if you're a woman married longer than 18 months!) It is no longer reasonable for me to expect it to happen according to our deal anymore. I realize this. However, I also realize that when Jess IS home he sleeps a REALLY lot. And he cooks. And he STILL thinks I should clean up after him/us!!! After I have cooked ALL week (and yes, I usually DO cook for the lunches we share as a family!!!) AND cleaned up afterward. Seriously, people! Ooops, I meant: SERIOUSLY Jessie!
NOTE TO READER: these things I'm pointing out as gripes do NOT usually bother me. By this I mean that I'm not all down in the mouth and angry all the time because of all that I have in my head and weighing me down emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (to some extent)... at least I'm not anymore. I just recognize them as parts of life to deal with and feel happiness in the things that are happy to me (and there ARE plenty, truly!). I am simply illustrating for other clueless members of the male "species" those things than trouble lots of women (I think I should know since I am one, after all... AND since I also happen to speak with lots of them!). I just want to make it clear that I actually love my life most of the time. While I do love my life, I still want to make these issues very clear to the member of the Mars Clan who is most important to me: Jessie.
BACK TO THE ISSUES
-----------------------------General ORDER: This is hugely annoying to Jessie because he just doesn't seem to be able to ignore the little things on the floor. I'm sure it's also annoying because he thinks, "All she has to do it get Ria to pick it up!" But, you see, there-in lies the problem! What child WANTS to pick up their toys regularly? Okay, so regularly in our home because of Daddy's schedule means twice a day... a little excessive for any kid. But if she wasn't such a snotty butt about it I would totally be okay with asking her to clean up her stuff an hour before Jess gets home at 2pm and then before bed. But I really dislike fussing at my daughter. I have anger issues I'm trying to overcome, remember?!! There are plenty enough stupid little things I have to mentally wrestle with myself over so that I don't blow a fuse every hour on the hour... I don't want to add fussing at Ria to pick up twice a day. But, I have. It's an issue to Jess, so I'm trying to get Ria to clean up her stuff so it won't be on the floor when he gets home (TWICE A DAY!).
----------------------------Sweeping/Mopping: To be totally honest, I don't even bother mopping with any regularity. Ria gets to earn some money sometimes by cleaning spots. We barter for the price of each spot, then we work with money after the jobs are done. It can be quite fun. I don't mind that so much. But when the whole house is troubled (as in dirt actually STUCK to the floor rather than just hanging out there) that job is so much more frustrating than simply mopping would be. You see, I have two small children who sleep like me. So what? you say. SO... that means I can't do much of anything that makes any sort of noise anywhere near them - especially since our house echoes a bit. And sweeping is only half as frustrating as mopping. The girls will, for the most part, stay out of the way in the room I'm working on. The previous sentence is where the problem with mopping lies... they think they can play in the room I've finished. But, of course, they really can't because the floor is WET. Ah the minute annoyances that combine to drive a Mama MAD!
----------------------------Maintaining extended family relations AND contact with local and long-distance friends. Admittedly the friends are a part of a Mamas way to stay sane, but for an LDS lady they are also very likely part of her responsibility, too (like VTing, which I LOVE, but is also a stressor, however positive, at times). While this area of responsibility is one of the most enjoyable of the many jobs a/this Mama has, it IS exhausting at times because there are periods of days, at least for me, when I just don't want to talk to ANYbody! (Like the last couple days, for instance!) But if one who communicates suddenly goes incommunicado, even if for only a few days, people start to worry that you've gone all weird like you did after 9-11. Just as a source of comfort... even during my worst and darkest months of PPD (post partum depression) I don't think I was as bad as I was at my worst after 9-11! This is a key bit of info for anyone who knows me. Let me break it down. YES, I DO get depressed. Sometimes, even, REALLY depressed. But if it doesn't get to the point I was at in during the PPD I suffered with after Ria, then I'm really REALLY quite okay (because it's no where near as bad as I've visited in my life!). No matter how long it takes, I DO (usually with the help of God and/or a loved one) pull myself up or kick my own butt out of it! I cannot foresee an event (barring Jessie cheating, beating any of us, or a child's death) that would put me over the edge I've already visited regularly! Since PPD I haven't been anywhere near that edge. After 9-11 I was, admittedly, bungee jumping off of it with a faulty bungee (thankfully it didn't fail completely while I was jumping!), but I'm quite okay! Aren't I? haha just a joke. I totally AM okay!!!
--------------------------------BLOG could actually be part of the last section or part of WORK FOR MONEY, but since the latter is not so much pertinent and the former doesn't really qualify (since most of my extended family does not read my blog) I'm making it a separate area. I think it's appropriate to include because it's pleasurable for me, but I also feel sort of like I NEED to do it, too. Jessie's family keeps up with us through it, after all, and he has shared the URL with more people from work than I have with my own friends!
--------------------------------BILLS are not necessarily a woman's job, but they are THIS woman's job. I'm not saying, at all, by any of the following that I do not want this job. I know the I'm more capable, so I do it and I try really hard not to complain often or loudly about it. However, I am going to enumerate the difficulties for my DH and any other man whose wife silently bends under the weight of THIS responsibility. #1 problem: it's ALWAYS there (unless you're super smart and have no debt whatsoever!). #2 problem: not wanting to mention it as much as it nags at the sides or stage of my brain because I don't want to stress my DH out as much as I feel stressed (at least, not most of the time). #3 problem: it's ALWAYS there! #4 problem: Did I mention it's ALWAYS there??? #5 problem: oh yeah, THERE it is AGAIN! Seriously, though... the worst of the #ed problems is the constant fear (or resurfacing of the reality) that there will not be enough money to cover the requests and requirements for said money!
-------------------------------HOMESCHOOLING--------------------------------------
Yes, this is NOT a job every SAHM undertakes, so perhaps it shouldn't be considered at part of the tasks inherent to the work. But since this is MY Blog, it IS! Also... I do believe a majority of parents who value their child(ren) and those child(ren)'s education over the things they could otherwise do or have FOR their children will one day choose to homeschool.
Now, I do NOT mean School at Home, here. I mean HOMESCHOOL! There is a HUGE and fundamental difference. One is MUCH easier than the other. Can you guess which is easier? If you said School at Home, then.... ding-ding-ding... you are RIGHT! And this is only ONE of the many issues a prospective homeschool parent, who is also a responsible parent, need inform themselves about. (Do you see the invested time studying, reading, and learning inherent in reading between the words of that last sentence???)
Homeschooling is FULL of issues that, to be responsible in the undertaking, a parent (at least one of them) has to read up on and make firm decisions about. I have only begun to scratch the surface on this area (researching issues and making decisions). In only 2 days I spent more than 8 hours in that research. Okay, so that's technically "only" part-time work. But combine it with all the other things I need to/should/want to do each day and there is WAY more to do daily than can BE done in the 16 hours I'm awake... which should really only be TWELVE since I'm preggie. Did ya know THAT? Pregnant women are SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED to sleep at least 12 hours a day. That's how TAXING pregnancy is!!! (Yes, I know, if you are a woman you are laughing your butt into shapely sexiness at the idea of regularly sleeping 12 hours each day - even IF preggie... but that's what the reading I've done suggests!)
Note to self: add pregnancy as another of the many exhausting (mentally, physically, emotionally, AND spiritually) things I do as a woman/Mama!!!!!
BACK to HOMESCHOOLING
So there are the issues to research= TIME and MUCHO TIEMBRE!!!
Then there's the actual preparation of WHAT to teach. (Did you see more hours of research and decision making inherent in that first/only sentence?? Yep, it's HOURS and not just HOURS once in a while, but, I'd say, at least once a week to figure out the week ahead If you're that organized)!!!
--------My personal first step into this realm of actually focusing on homeschooling (rather than just teaching reading as I have been doing) as someone who believes herself to be a responsible homeschooler, is to determine WHERE to go and WHAT to do with my homeschooling child. HOW does one do that?? Well, a really great starting point (I think) is to figure out what the state or commonwealth in which you reside expects of a child at any given grade level; perhaps first focusing on the grade the child would next enter as a result of their numerical age. This means both the minimum standards AS WELL AS what the parent has to do to jump through the hoops established by TPTB (the powers that be) for those who choose to go against the mainstream TO homeschool!
Now, you could probably get your local librarian to help you locate all the pertinent info (online or off), but that requires the time and opportunity to do such a thing during normal operating hours. Do you see the futility of such a proposition if you have a toddller or more roaming around??? You could get the URL(s) from a teacher you know (if you know one with whom you feel comfy speaking about the alternative education of your child) OR you'll have to do a little digging for the information on your own. (Did you hear another bit of minutes piled together to get that info!??)
Once you find said info you have to either export it, copy and print it, copy the info into a safe notebook, and/or print it out for regular access/planning purposes... Then you have to read and evaluate what is in front of you. Do you think TPTB make it easy for a layperson to understand the establishment's expectations of their educational system. Uhhh... NO!!!! Why the heck would they make it easy!!?? They don't WANT you taking their tax money away by keeping your child home! And if you think I'm just being paranoid, you have NOT informed yourself!!!!
Back to the subject: thankfully I do have a background in education, so most of the benchmark info is pretty easily decipherable, but it took me a few minutes to sort of alter my brain to function in teacher mode to GET what was written "plainly" in front of me! And I, given my teacher training, am still a little confused on some of the benchmarks for Math and Science (since my background was English THAT section, at least, made sense to me). I feel so sad for someone who doesn't have the background a trained teacher would (even if they never taught in public school)! There would be even MORE research/TIME! involved for translation purposes for such a person!!!!!
The next step is to determine how to present the material you've determined your child needs to learn/understand. More than likely, if you are homeschooling, you do NOT plan to stick to the basics required by your state, so there's more research into additional kinds of education and things developmentally appropriate for your child at their given stage. In this step is the decision about prepared curriculums vs. piecing it all together one's self... A whole cirriculum is attractive (possibly easier?!), but there-in lies a problem of money (for poor homeschoolers like muuuaaa). And if you do decide to use some existing material, you have to figure out if there are any inappropriate parts. Even Christian materials for a Christian (like myself) may contain questionable material (like the trinity, for instance, since that does NOT fit the cosmology/diety I know!).
Then there's presentation. Thankfully, for me! Ria (and most children, really) just loves to learn so MUCH that I could totally botch this section and she would still come away from the whole thing a much smarter chickie. But this step also requires some time. Often time spent on the preparation of presentation materials, thinking about how to share the info with the child, and then the actual DOING. Which brings me to:
Last, but CERTAINLY NOT least, there is the actual time spent on the education of the homeschooled child(ren). While this is, or at least, SHOULD be, enjoyable time spent with one's child, it is often fraught with annoyance and frustration - especially in the early days (after the first few really fun ones)! The child doesn't necessarily want to sit for extended periods of time (and I'm not even talking the kind of time they would have to sit in their desk at school - even for Kindergarten!) doing something other than what they actually CHOOSE/WANT to do at that moment. Ria LOVES school, but her fidgeting and fussing get really annoying really quickly. Okay, so you already know I've had anger issues... the previous sentence as an example of one of the many times during the day that I am extremely careful (since quitting the yelling about 4 weeks ago)!
The actual time spent on 1 subject (reading), for us, is usually only about 30-45 minutes. Sometimes even less, actually - like when I accidentally choose a WAY TOO EASY book for her to read! But since I've been feeling the need to really get INTO school we've been doing 3 and 4 subjects/learning lessons, which easily puts us up to 2 hours. Yes, this could (in theory) be split up through the day, but, in reality, the splitting doesn't work so well most days. I am most assuredly NOT complaining about this time. I'm simply illustrating the issues for the dude most important to me (and any curious by-standers that have made it this far).
---------------WORK to make MONEY--------------------------------------------
In case you're wondering, since I haven't mentioned it in quite a while, I have officially give up working my ETSY shop like a real business. I still intend to try to sell a bit around Christmas, but I'm not even hyped up about that any more. WHY?? Well, because Jessie made it SUPER clear that he was so totally not supportive of my efforts (because the house was the ball dropped when I added the WORK ball to the juggling). It's been really sad letting go of that dream of a way to get Jess home more, but it's also made my life easier. I honestly cannot imagine how others juggle it all WITH a creative job! And since Jess was totally unsupportive (he didn't DO anything to help, but he also was not okay with me letting the ball roll away from me either) I have completely dropped that ball. I even threw away the business cards associated with it. The store is still open, but I'm not advertising or trying to move prospective buyers my way.
However, when someone is involved in such a pursuit there are myriad time drains attached. I will list without explanation since it's not super pertinent to my life any longer. Creation of product, packaging of product, self-promotion (SO MUCH TIME!), market research, product research, comparison shopping to improve marketing, self-education on techniques to improve product, and so much more!
OUTSIDE CLASSES for CHILD(REN)
This is critical for the homeschooled child. Not only for the social interaction it provides and stimulates, but also for the change of environment inherent in GOING TO CLASS. While the activities are chosen by parent and/or child, there comes a time in every child's experience when they just want to quit. Ria arrived at that point very early in her dance year. Jess and I have decided how to deal with this situation and that's what we did. For every time a given child wants to quit something we will allow them to do so only after a give period of time. Ria was 3 when she wanted to quit and we never really had a conversation about this whole subject with her because by the following dance class she was excited and wanted to go and NEVER wanted to quit during the remainder of the school year. Currently she is asking when she will get to go back to dance class (we're off until September).
So, even though the parent gets to choose class times (for the most part) we have to live according to anothers' schedule for those classes. This past year Ria has attended Dance class, Story Time (not officially a class, but counts to her), and Joy School (which turned into Play At The Park). Because of shortage of fundage I could not enroll her in Karate (which I TOTALLY wanted to do!). And because we don't have a piano as yet (also no fundage) she has not started piano lessons (which would also be taxing if not imposible due to lack of money). I'm hoping to have enough money to start Ria (at least), but hopefully also Kat in swim classes. So as of August I WANT to have them both in swim class and the following month they will both start Dance! That's a significant amount of time AND money devoted to only two classes (for two children)!!!!
So, is there any wonder that a Mama feels overwhelmed on a regular basis? And, please, Jessie, (or random dude trying to learn a bit more about his Venus Bride) don't think this is a comprehensive explanation. These are only the things that are most present (CONSTANTLY) and pressing on THIS Mamas mind RIGHT NOW. There are more issues that are a bit more philosophical and troublesome more mentally and emotionally than these highlighted and verbosified upon. (Yes, verbosified is probably NOT a word, but I like to make things up... I'm a creative person, after all!) ^_^ I'm sure I've also forgotten one or two that troubles me regularly, but I forget things REALLY regularly. Can you imagine WHY!!?? After this tutorial, I would have to say you are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY HOPELESS if you answered the last question to the negative!
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Homeschooling
Ria and I did our regular reading class this morning. She read another pretty tough book, though this one was shorter than yesterday's. I was pleased with her efforts. This afternoon we worked on writing numbers AND started Math class! She's so excited to add another class (and movie; for a while) to the day! :) Her penmanship was quite good. We didn't work on the divided lines for teaching writing, but she had the shapes of the numbers almost right away and they looked almost perfect! I'm so pleased.
I'm research reading a lot more again. It took me a while to get my brain in gear to resume the heavy reading that tends to come when I'm researching. Today I've resumed delving into the subject of homeschooling and issues facing homeschoolers. It's really quite amazing how much we have to take into consideration as we make choices as homeschoolers! It's definitely a LOT more involved than sending the kids off to public school. I mean, I already knew that would be the case as far as the whole bit about teaching my own kids, but it's SO much more than that! Anyway, I wanted to share the articles I've been reading, in case there are others who are looking in to homeschooling and would like to be responsible about what kinds of choices they make AS homeschoolers. :)
I have to say, before I share what I've been reading, that I before altering my behavior drastically about 3.5 weeks ago, I was really dreading the never ending-ness that is the life of a homeschool Mama! I mean, what a relief it must be for most Mamas to have the break of Public School to look forward to. I mean, they get to sending some of the kiddos off to school and having more quiet time with the younger ones! I can totally understand how many (most?) Mom's look forward to the onset of the school year after the months of summer. The changes I have, with the support and guidance of FATHER, brought about in myself have really helped me tremendously in EVERY way. One key way those changes have helped is that now I don't dread always having my children around at home. It's still tough, but I don't wish I could send them to public school, like I was for a while there. I mean, I don't need the break from them that Public School would have provided because I'm in control of me! It's such a relief and I only pray that I'll be able to endure to the end in this wonderful change FATHER has wrought in me!!! ^_^ However, I'm grateful for the understanding I have been blessed with by those very psychologically difficult moments over the course of many months that I wished for PS. I'm also VERY relieved and even joyful in knowing that homeschooling my children really isn't some random personal choice, but what FATHER REALLY wants me to do with/for my family!
Okay... moving on: This is just from today and I'm sure I'll be reading on this topic regularly. So, check back often for more links to even more articles if you find any of these interesting! :) Oh, and as of today, these are all from one site. But I've got quite a few other resources to look into... so there will be more diversity of voice in the future as well. ^_^
Your Homeschooling Decisions Affect My Homeschooling Freedoms
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/182/match.html
Practical Ways to Claim Responsibility for Our Homeschools
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/203/mjtch.html
Working for Homeschooling Freedoms: Chore or Opportunity?
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/171.00/jf_clmn_tch.html
Why the Question of Homeschoolers' Playing Public School Sports Affects All Homeschoolers - Larry and Susan Kaseman
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/173.00/mj_clmn_tch.html
I'm research reading a lot more again. It took me a while to get my brain in gear to resume the heavy reading that tends to come when I'm researching. Today I've resumed delving into the subject of homeschooling and issues facing homeschoolers. It's really quite amazing how much we have to take into consideration as we make choices as homeschoolers! It's definitely a LOT more involved than sending the kids off to public school. I mean, I already knew that would be the case as far as the whole bit about teaching my own kids, but it's SO much more than that! Anyway, I wanted to share the articles I've been reading, in case there are others who are looking in to homeschooling and would like to be responsible about what kinds of choices they make AS homeschoolers. :)
I have to say, before I share what I've been reading, that I before altering my behavior drastically about 3.5 weeks ago, I was really dreading the never ending-ness that is the life of a homeschool Mama! I mean, what a relief it must be for most Mamas to have the break of Public School to look forward to. I mean, they get to sending some of the kiddos off to school and having more quiet time with the younger ones! I can totally understand how many (most?) Mom's look forward to the onset of the school year after the months of summer. The changes I have, with the support and guidance of FATHER, brought about in myself have really helped me tremendously in EVERY way. One key way those changes have helped is that now I don't dread always having my children around at home. It's still tough, but I don't wish I could send them to public school, like I was for a while there. I mean, I don't need the break from them that Public School would have provided because I'm in control of me! It's such a relief and I only pray that I'll be able to endure to the end in this wonderful change FATHER has wrought in me!!! ^_^ However, I'm grateful for the understanding I have been blessed with by those very psychologically difficult moments over the course of many months that I wished for PS. I'm also VERY relieved and even joyful in knowing that homeschooling my children really isn't some random personal choice, but what FATHER REALLY wants me to do with/for my family!
Okay... moving on: This is just from today and I'm sure I'll be reading on this topic regularly. So, check back often for more links to even more articles if you find any of these interesting! :) Oh, and as of today, these are all from one site. But I've got quite a few other resources to look into... so there will be more diversity of voice in the future as well. ^_^
Your Homeschooling Decisions Affect My Homeschooling Freedoms
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/182/match.html
Practical Ways to Claim Responsibility for Our Homeschools
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/203/mjtch.html
Working for Homeschooling Freedoms: Chore or Opportunity?
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/171.00/jf_clmn_tch.html
Why the Question of Homeschoolers' Playing Public School Sports Affects All Homeschoolers - Larry and Susan Kaseman
http://www.homeedmag.com/HEM/173.00/mj_clmn_tch.html
Friday, April 18, 2008
A surprise... and then another....
So, I saw Jess walking toward the front door at about 4:30pm today. My heart did some flops. I felt like I was getting a little hot. (OK, so I just re-read what is written previous to this note and it sounds like something other than I meant it to. SORRY about that. Please continue to read and you'll understand where it's going, I think!)
He comes in the door and very coolly and calmly I say, "What are YOU doin' home?!" He explains that tonight is actually his night off. 'Oh,' I think and I'm sure my whole countenance fell because tomorrow is our Ward social and the first one I thought Jess would make it to with us. I'm sure my face fell also because Jess went on to quickly explain that he was origionally scheduled for tonight not tomorrow night off, but when he was talking to Steve, his boss, Steve asked how many nights Jess was on this week. After Jess told him SIX, Steve told him to go ahead and take tomorrow night off as well!! So, we actually have TWO nights in a row with Daddy!
Of course, does that actually mean he's conscious for the whole time? Uh... do you KNOW Jessie???
If you haven't been able to figure out why my heart was flip-floppin and I got all hot feelin' it's because this scene felt like a re-run of experiences we had WAY too many times before we moved here. Jess was let go from, like, 4 jobs within a year up in VA. It was very upsetting. Each time he was home earlier than I expected him. So, I thought (since I'm a worst-case-scenario-ist, according to our councelor) that he'd been fired. Not that I thought he'd done anything wrong, but I was worried that this was sort of pointing out to me that Jess really SHOULD be doing something different, which has been a focal point of many prayers... trying to make sure we're in the right path, ya know?
Back to the story.... Of course, Jess came home and subsequently fell asleep as he was supposedly doing reading class with Ria. *sigh* I wish I could just randomly fall asleep and the girls actually leave me alone - regardless of what I was SUPPOSED to be doing! But, I suppose Mamas are the tortured... I mean 'totally adored'! hahaha ;)
Instead of fussin at Jess to spend time with us, I fussed at him to go lie down in bed so I wouldn't get even more upset to see him sleeping when I thought we would have some family time. He did. And I took the girls out for our hour-long walk. This is the 4th evening this week of this. And let me tell you, it is NOT very much fun for me! I just wish, so often, for time to just be me... I don't get it on the potty, not while I'm sleeping, not while I prepare food, not while I eat, not while I excercise. But... I shouldn't complain, right? I'm a MAMA, afterall.
Obviously I'm feeling a little peeved about the whole ability my husband has of leaving his job. Ok, so maybe that wasn't so very obvious.... Well, that's the root of all the complaining. I would REALLY like to leave my job for a little while. I wish the hotel thing had happened... but then, of course, I would wish for more than that. But seriously, I think after 4+ years of never leaving my job (and over 1 year of that I was also teaching) I should be able to have ONE day off, right?? ahhh... My fickle fickle heart!
Anyway.
Today has been productive and exciting for me in my "studio." (Right! As if! You know, of course "my STUDIO" is actually our dining room table and if you didn't know, you could just scoot yourself on back to a past post and find out - with pictures even! Back in the day when uploading them didn't totally freeze up my computer!) I worked on, primarily, another team challenge piece. This one is for my SHE team. (Schooling at Home Etsians) And I'm a perfect candidate for that team with my smarty daughter who is only 4 and reading at an almost fluent kindergarden level and even higher with less and less fluency! Can you tell I'm just so totally thrilled with her reading progress?? So, this challenge is "Robin's Egg Blue" and that's all the direction we've had.
If you know me, you will easily guess - and correctly - that this has been torture for me. I really had no idea where to go with it. That is, until yesterday on the hour-long walk. I saw this thing hanging from someone's mailbox and thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to make something like that and call it MAIL BOX JEWELRY?" So, I thought and thought, while I walked and walked and came up with the general idea of what I put into clay today! I'm very pleased with it!! It is baked, but unfinished as yet. The challenge isn't due until May 15th, so you'll have to hold tight for photos. I'm having problems with Flickr, so you'll definitely have to make sure to get added to my friends to see 'em in Photobucket. (Mom, you're already allowed to see those pics, under caregi.... You know the rest. You just have to contact me for the password!)
IN ADDITION to that, I also started AND finished another nursing Mama. I'm very pleased with this one as well. Perhaps more? I'm not sure. It's really great, though. Oh, and I'd previously made the angel that is going to shelter this Mama and IT is very cool, too. :) Not finished... You'll just have to wait for pictures. heeheehee
Man, I love Florida! I'm already getting a really great light tan. Just from walking while the sun is setting! Nice, right!?? Ok, so I know that was totally random, but I thought I would just sort of tempt you... perhaps you want to visit more now? Love it if you did! Try NOT to come in October (like at all!!). If you want to come for OUR Thanksgiving or Christmas, make sure you contact me in advance because we make up our own holidays! You know, you sort of have to do it when hubby works in a field like Hospitality. And, since we don't have family here to dictate that we STAY WITH THE DATE, we just DON'T! Such a priviledge, really.
Ok, so I'm TOTALLY overblowing how wonderful making our own holidays is because I've been feeling a bit down about being away from my extended fam for so long (only 10 months, I need to be strong, this hasn't been all that long. I will surely be away MUCH longer than this before I can get back there!). ahwell....
He comes in the door and very coolly and calmly I say, "What are YOU doin' home?!" He explains that tonight is actually his night off. 'Oh,' I think and I'm sure my whole countenance fell because tomorrow is our Ward social and the first one I thought Jess would make it to with us. I'm sure my face fell also because Jess went on to quickly explain that he was origionally scheduled for tonight not tomorrow night off, but when he was talking to Steve, his boss, Steve asked how many nights Jess was on this week. After Jess told him SIX, Steve told him to go ahead and take tomorrow night off as well!! So, we actually have TWO nights in a row with Daddy!
Of course, does that actually mean he's conscious for the whole time? Uh... do you KNOW Jessie???
If you haven't been able to figure out why my heart was flip-floppin and I got all hot feelin' it's because this scene felt like a re-run of experiences we had WAY too many times before we moved here. Jess was let go from, like, 4 jobs within a year up in VA. It was very upsetting. Each time he was home earlier than I expected him. So, I thought (since I'm a worst-case-scenario-ist, according to our councelor) that he'd been fired. Not that I thought he'd done anything wrong, but I was worried that this was sort of pointing out to me that Jess really SHOULD be doing something different, which has been a focal point of many prayers... trying to make sure we're in the right path, ya know?
Back to the story.... Of course, Jess came home and subsequently fell asleep as he was supposedly doing reading class with Ria. *sigh* I wish I could just randomly fall asleep and the girls actually leave me alone - regardless of what I was SUPPOSED to be doing! But, I suppose Mamas are the tortured... I mean 'totally adored'! hahaha ;)
Instead of fussin at Jess to spend time with us, I fussed at him to go lie down in bed so I wouldn't get even more upset to see him sleeping when I thought we would have some family time. He did. And I took the girls out for our hour-long walk. This is the 4th evening this week of this. And let me tell you, it is NOT very much fun for me! I just wish, so often, for time to just be me... I don't get it on the potty, not while I'm sleeping, not while I prepare food, not while I eat, not while I excercise. But... I shouldn't complain, right? I'm a MAMA, afterall.
Obviously I'm feeling a little peeved about the whole ability my husband has of leaving his job. Ok, so maybe that wasn't so very obvious.... Well, that's the root of all the complaining. I would REALLY like to leave my job for a little while. I wish the hotel thing had happened... but then, of course, I would wish for more than that. But seriously, I think after 4+ years of never leaving my job (and over 1 year of that I was also teaching) I should be able to have ONE day off, right?? ahhh... My fickle fickle heart!
Anyway.
Today has been productive and exciting for me in my "studio." (Right! As if! You know, of course "my STUDIO" is actually our dining room table and if you didn't know, you could just scoot yourself on back to a past post and find out - with pictures even! Back in the day when uploading them didn't totally freeze up my computer!) I worked on, primarily, another team challenge piece. This one is for my SHE team. (Schooling at Home Etsians) And I'm a perfect candidate for that team with my smarty daughter who is only 4 and reading at an almost fluent kindergarden level and even higher with less and less fluency! Can you tell I'm just so totally thrilled with her reading progress?? So, this challenge is "Robin's Egg Blue" and that's all the direction we've had.
If you know me, you will easily guess - and correctly - that this has been torture for me. I really had no idea where to go with it. That is, until yesterday on the hour-long walk. I saw this thing hanging from someone's mailbox and thought, "Wouldn't it be cool to make something like that and call it MAIL BOX JEWELRY?" So, I thought and thought, while I walked and walked and came up with the general idea of what I put into clay today! I'm very pleased with it!! It is baked, but unfinished as yet. The challenge isn't due until May 15th, so you'll have to hold tight for photos. I'm having problems with Flickr, so you'll definitely have to make sure to get added to my friends to see 'em in Photobucket. (Mom, you're already allowed to see those pics, under caregi.... You know the rest. You just have to contact me for the password!)
IN ADDITION to that, I also started AND finished another nursing Mama. I'm very pleased with this one as well. Perhaps more? I'm not sure. It's really great, though. Oh, and I'd previously made the angel that is going to shelter this Mama and IT is very cool, too. :) Not finished... You'll just have to wait for pictures. heeheehee
Man, I love Florida! I'm already getting a really great light tan. Just from walking while the sun is setting! Nice, right!?? Ok, so I know that was totally random, but I thought I would just sort of tempt you... perhaps you want to visit more now? Love it if you did! Try NOT to come in October (like at all!!). If you want to come for OUR Thanksgiving or Christmas, make sure you contact me in advance because we make up our own holidays! You know, you sort of have to do it when hubby works in a field like Hospitality. And, since we don't have family here to dictate that we STAY WITH THE DATE, we just DON'T! Such a priviledge, really.
Ok, so I'm TOTALLY overblowing how wonderful making our own holidays is because I've been feeling a bit down about being away from my extended fam for so long (only 10 months, I need to be strong, this hasn't been all that long. I will surely be away MUCH longer than this before I can get back there!). ahwell....
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
statcounter
