Super Sunday Slimdown: Hoping to Avoid Getting Sick

This past week is a complete bust for exercise for me!  Major bummer.  My children have all been sick (most are completely better now).  Babygirl is still sick and now I feel like I'm starting to come down with it.  Have had a headache frequently for the past few days and wake up feeling run over by a truck.

I'm not sleeping very well, so that's probably not helping.

We're using essential oils, elderberry, and echinacea.  If you have any other suggestions, I'm willing to hear 'em!  :)

I sure hope to get back to my four walks next week!  I'll let you know how it goes.

How are you doing with your exercise plans?  I hope your past week has gone better than mine!!!

Super Sunday Slimdown: February 2, 2014

Can you believe it's February now?  I'm amazed, yet also not surprised.  Last month was very short and very long for me.  Strange, right?  Or do you feel the same way?

I've been able to accomplish AT LEAST my 4 day a week exercise goal.  Sometimes I didn't get much exercise, but I was out working at it.  I definitely count that, given my circumstances.  I'm grateful to have accomplished this puny little goal!

I still don't know about my weight.  I did step on my old scale, but once again it showed a number higher, yet my clothes are fitting looser... wearing smaller clothes sometimes... depending on the item.  I keep meaning to stand on the huge scale at Publix, but just haven't done it.

How are you doing with your fitness goals?  I'd really like to know!

Sunday Slimdown: Shedding Weight Instead of Losing It

I'm a member of the writing team for One Roll At a Time.  I'm excited about this blessing at this time because I want encouragement in this part of my journey... shedding excess weight.  I'm tired of feeling alone in my efforts.  It's good to have company with whom to struggle along, don't you think so?

First things first... What is it with the phrase most folks use to talk about getting rid of fat.  They say, "Losing weight."  I'm not losing weight, my friends.  I'm working hard to get it out of my system and I am happy to get rid of it and pray I will be able to refrain from packing it back on.  When it finally does evacuate from my body/temple/system, I'm glad.  I don't feel upset or frustrated at all.  When I lose things I am unhappy.  So, when I refer to working toward a slender figure, I work hard to say, "Shedding excess weight."  Have you seen a snake or other skin-shedding beastie at their work of leaving behind their old outward parts?  It's rather difficult work to my understanding.  So, it seems super appropriate to use that particular phrase for my process.  Maybe, if enough of us use that phrase, we can bring about a shift in word use and thereby a slight change in the way the whole process is viewed and maybe even dealt with.  Yes, I know... highly unlikely to come about via my puny lil' blog.  However... YOU can talk about it and spread the word.  YOU can bring about this shift and change.  I'd love it if you tossed me a bone by referencing me here on We Keep Choosing Us, but you don't have to, for sure!

So, this past week was better than many recently!  I was actually able to get out and walk four mornings.  YEAY!  It would've been more, but my husband's schedule and activities cut in to my walking time.  ahwell.  I'm worried that I may be getting sick again... so we'll see about next week.  I'm okay with it either way.  I am, for the most part, making better food consumption choices, which is also going to enable me to shed the excess weight.

If you search #OneRollChallenge, you can see me as I am.  I'm going to do a side-by-side before and after for the month... I've posted my before.  MAN!  That was so difficult!  I didn't realize how truly horrible I look when comparing my figure to what is considered healthy and fit and slender and attractive.  I will admit that I still feel a bit sick about it... sick being a mixture of frustration with myself and disgust and... oh, so much STUFF!  Anyway... I encourage you to search that hashtag and join in on this month's series of challenges.  They are, really, quite simple.  I hope you will!

See you there!  :)  Oh... and tell me what you think about "shedding weight"!  :)

Super Sunday #1

Today is a day off.  It is a day of rest.  Today is THE day to observe the Sabbath and honor the Resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  This is my practice and belief.

So, as of yesterday, i've been walking daily (except for Sunday) for about a week and a half.  This new habit started one evening in reaction to some stress.  It felt SO good.  i felt SO good during and after the walk.  To this point, i have walked alone and enjoy some time to just think, sometimes "talk to myself" and a big chunk of time to listen to my favorite radio station.  It's definitely worth a listen if you're curious!  In the future, i may invite one of my two eldest daughters out to walk with me.  They both want to come.  Right now, i'm not willing to share this time as i know i really need it.

The day after i took the impromptu evening walk, i sorta popped awake earlier than i normally felt fully awake and just felt like i REALLY wanted to and HAD to go for a walk.  So, i did.  Again, i felt super during the walk and continued to feel better throughout the day.  The walk did, of course, take time and pushed my regular morning routine a bit outta whack, so i decided to try to get up earlier the next morning.  After a few days of getting up a tiny bit earlier, i was waking up at 615am and leaving by 625am for my walk (except for yesterday because it was raining when i first woke up... i left by 635am, instead).

My walks last between one hour to right around two hours.  So far, i've walked as little as 2.74 miles (that's walking for right around one hour) and as much as 4.19 miles (right around two hours).  Obviously, the longer walks are not as efficient as the shorter ones.  If you think about it, that makes perfect sense given that i'm SEVEN months preggie!  The length of my walking time is mostly dependent upon my husband's work schedule (when he has to leave for work), but i've also had to make alterations for an appointment of my own.

So, "Super Sunday" will be my day to regularly share how i've been caring for my physical self.  This could seem sorta odd, since Sunday is often a day to focus on Spirituality... but my meditation practice is my "newest" (though it's more than 300 days strong now) addition to caring for my Spirit and i focus on THAT via my "Meditation Monday" posts.  No promises on how frequently i'll update Super Sunday, but i will do it periodically!  ^_^

Just Pluggin' Along

We've had a few time consuming activities as of late. They are pretty much inter-related and still very iffy, so I'm not going to go into the nitty gritty as yet. We are hopeful that something good could be in our near future (pertaining to Jessie's career and our finances). If you feel so inclined, say a prayer for us that things start looking up. It would be (will be!) greatly appreciated!

Ria and Kat spent the morning with Mary, Victoria, and Ms. Sage yesterday. It was SUCH a treat and such a sweet and generous service by my friend, Sage. She came all the way out here to pick them up and then brought them home AND bought them ice cream on the way! She wanted them to look forward to spending time with them again. Ice cream wasn't necessary for that, I'm QUITE sure! So sweet and amazingly thoughtful. Don't you think?

Walking
I've still been walking. 5 days per week, even! The belly is getting pretty huge, but for whatever reason I don't feel myself needing to waddle as yet. At least, I don't feel the need for waddle most of the time! Perhaps it is BECAUSE of all the walking I do for exercise. That would be cool, eh? This week, thus far, I've been able to walk for at least 60 minutes each day. I feel really terrific about that... very pleased with myself and GRATEFUL for the cooperative weather! Even on Wednesday, when I didn't go walking, there was this HUGE crazy thunderstorm from about 3pm until 5, or so. But right around 6:30pm, when I'm trying to depart my home, the weather was lovely for walking. I was just SO beat after the temple trip and Jess went in to work (at the last minute) so I felt it was better to calmly stay at home rather than get frustrated with the bickering babies! :)

Starting a Part-Time, ANY time, Gig
I'm not yet fully approved, but I'm through with all the preliminary stuff for this Gig that I can do from home, on the internet, as much, or as little as I want... WHENEVER I want! and earn some money. It's not a huge payment per service rendered, but my sister-in-law (Jessie's sis) has been doing it for a bit and purchased a Wii for her girls with her earnings. So, I figure it could help us put a dent in our debt OR increase our food storage purchasing power! And addition to the latter will be VERY valuable!!! ^_^ I'm leaning toward the food storage purchasing initially, but once I feel we're covered/safe there it would definitely go toward our debt issues. I'm hopeful!

I'll let you know how it goes. I will, of course, invite you to join my team (though I'm not exactly sure what "my team" is or means). And I'll hope that you're interested if it's as flexible and easy as it seems to be thus far. Oh, and no monetary output required at all. The initial investment is time spent in reading all the rules and completing the required (EASY) tests. For me, that "investment" hasn't been tiny because of my beautiful distractions ;) BUT totally worth it if I can make any sort of an addition to our finances on a regular basis. Ya know?

Potty Training
Kat is doing quite well. She's only had one accident today. Yesterday none (though she wasn't in training mode full-on because of the day's activities). The day before I think she had an accident or two. But considering all things, she is really progressing amazingly well in this endeavor!

Pretend
Ria is FULL of pretend worlds and plans. She's so fun and funny to watch because she's SO often putting bits and pieces of her Disney movies together in strange sequences in her pretend play with Kat. Ria loves to play with Mama and Daddy. The BEST thing about playing with her parents, I think, is getting to tell them what to do! I swear it's the only "safe" way she can command her elders and she seems to really LOVE it. I suppose that's pretty normal and understandable! I mean, most of the time she's got to do what she's asked rather than get to tell others what to do. Less frequently, but sometimes, I do see and hear her integrating things she's read into her pretend play. More often, though, the reading comes out in her information sharing/teaching. Can you imagine what a joy THAT is for me?? I LOVE IT!!!!

Health
Thankfully, right now, we are all well. My only complaints are the fatigue (mental and physical), heartburn, and discomfort (especially when trying to sleep), but given the circumstance (pregnancy), that's not much to complain about! Jess is tired because he's not sleeping well, either. I swear this is mostly because of me, but he blames it on other things. I still feel bad because I'm tossing and turning a LOT these days! I have noticed that when I sleep on the couch (because the position there supports my body very nicely!) he seems much more rested in the morning. ahwell... Jess has a lot more pregnancy symptoms this time around than he did when I was preggie with Kat. He had some sympathetic pregnancy stuff when I was preggie with Ria, but I think it's probably more this time than then, even. Pretty interesting, huh?

Walks

I realized I haven't been sharing my accomplishments in walking. The greatest accomplishment thus far is that I have maintained my 5 days per week. I haven't completed 80 minutes per day on all of those days, but given what I've been dealing with (namely hip pain, increasingly painful braxton hicks when I walk for longer than 30 minutes - particularly when I haven't had enough water to drink, and a more difficult time holding my water - especially when I forget to discontinue the water consumption at least an hour before I walk) I still feel quite good about what I have been doing. I think one day in the last 2 weeks I walked for only about 30 minutes. The next shortest walk was 45 and then 60. Today was back up to 80... but I did have to relieve myself in the woods. I REALLY don't enjoy that, contrary to what Jess seems to think!

It seems people are becoming familiar with me in my little town. Today a sweet lady named Rose stopped us before we crossed the street to climb the bridge to chat. She told me that she's seen me walking for quite a while and really wanted to meet me and see what I had in my carriage. She thought it might be twins, but was pleasantly surprised by my two beauty queens. She was really kind to the girls and to me. We spent about 15 minutes chatting and she invited me to stop to use her bathroom any time I might need it. I actually just may since she lives just far enough south of me to be convenient when I do walk the two miles south. It's REALLY difficult to find a hidden spot to pee outside in that direction! Seriously! I REALLY do NOT like it!!! It seems that Rose has a daughter who I am very similar to. That's cool because that means there's a sort of reason for her to identify with me and like me without even knowing me. That's always nice.

I've had many others in my town make comments to me about this or that as I'm walking. It's really quite nice... in a way. I feel like folks in my town are sort of watching out for us. ^_^

I haven't weighed myself lately, but I continue to feel better and better. Jess actually commented the other day that I look thinner now than in the only picture we have of his Mom and Dad hanging in out livingroom. That made me feel really good because I wasn't feeling super huge at that time! ^_^ Of course, I want to feel totally comfy in my body, not just NOT super uge, so I'm certainly not finished with walking. And even when I reach a comfy point I still won't be done because I know how MUCH the walks really help regulate SO much more than losing weight!

I LOVE my walks!!!

What Husbands Don't Know

And how can they? They rarely, if ever have an opportunity to feel the constant weight of all that being a Mama entails. I know that working Mamas do NOT have THE life, but it's not all bon-bons and sugar snaps on the stay-at-home front, either! I'm thinking about the difficulties of my SAHM (Stay At Home Mom) life because of the confrontation with Jess of the other night. I try to express to him the weight of the responsibilities I carry as well as the actual time consumption aspect of them. But I honestly feel that my DH (dear husband) really just does not hear me most of the time I speak, much less get the full meaning of the details I share. I have felt that he may, perhaps, read this blog, though. So, perhaps some of what I'm able to convey through writing (sometimes I think it is my best mode of communication, anyway) will reach him as my words when spoken have and do not.

The jobs of a Mama (SAH, specifically):

--------------Spend time with the child(ren). This, I believe is THE most important job a Mama (any) has and can fulfill. However, as you will see (if you're a dude; I know the Mamas reading already know all this!) there isn't all that much time for a SAHM to fulfill this aspect of her calling if she is expected to maintain every other job she may be (usually is) expected to juggle solo if the juggling is supposed to be maintained to HIS satisfaction (even her own degree of perfection/satisfaction however far from his that may be)!

--------------Stay/get fit by exercising to the degree necessary to lose the baby weight, lose other fatness gained over time, and/or maintain Mama's own physical comfort level. This is REALLY difficult for lots of women... especially new Mamas. It's difficult to find activities that work the body enough to accomplish the results sought after and be okay with spending the time doing that work either away from the kiddo(s) OR ignoring him/her/them long enough to get the exercise in. This is emotionally taxing for any woman and even more so for women like me who feel UBER responsible for their children (meaning that turning them over to others' care feels hyper uncomfy - even Daddy in the first 6 months!!!).

--------------Stay sane and emotionally "full" by accomplishing something each day or week that enables the Mama to relax or feel individuated. (In the last conference (LDS) one of our leaders addressed this, OH SO IMPORTANT, issue!!!!) This is so very important because an empty Mama has nothing to give the kiddo(s) much less the Daddy! Yet, even if the Mama knows the necessity of this it is still difficult for any woman in a situation in which she would either have to have a babysitter when Daddy is at work (and they don't have money for that OR she feels like she really shouldn't turn the responsibility of her children over to someone else) OR they have to have Daddy watch the kiddo(s) when he IS home. This is not a problem for Jess, but I still feel sort of guilty SOME of the time asking/requiring more of him after he's worked two jobs all week. The only thing I do with any semblance of regularity when he's around to watch the girls is exercise, which is totally beneficial, but not exactly relaxing. So it doesn't really accomplish the staying "full" bit to the degree that completing an activity that I enjoy that is also really relaxing and mentally stimulating does/would. After going through this situation (Jess working two jobs) I would totally NOT allow myself to feel guilty asking him to take care of our kiddos while I get out of dodge for an hour or two if he had only one job!

-------------Keep the house up to par. While this IS important it is, to me, the least important of many other "balls" I keep in the air at any given moment. It is also one of the most time consuming and emotionally draining (stressful!) of most issues facing any Mama. This item encompasses so many separate items. While I will not cover every mundane item, I'm going to list some and my personal feelings about them/issues with them.
--------------------------Laundry: one of the NEVER-ending jobs. The moment it is caught up with, there is more to do! This job is particularly annoying to me BECAUSE it never ends... and only gets BIGGER as there are more children to clean up after. My problem here is not the children, but the fact that I'm the only one cleaning after them. Not only does a Mama have to remember to wash (not so difficult since the piles are sitting there in front of you), but we also have to remember to get them into the dryer in a timely fashion, (otherwise they start to smell like an old person - no offense to old people!) and then to make time to fold them AND put them away in some sort of order that makes sense to the other partner AS WELL as self since he will, hopefully, be helping to dress the child(ren) once in a while, if not regularly! And then there's the SUPER annoyance of the partner or child(ren) not giving a witches wart whether the items previously folded STAY in any semblance of order. This whole section was so totally NOT a problem when it was just Jess and me or even when Ria was the only child. But I can see this area of my life becoming super huge and what I already have to deal with is overwhelming enough - day in and day out!
--------------------------Dishes: the OTHER of the never-ending jobs that I, personally, despise. I know women who actually enjoy dishes. GOOD FOR YOU! I, however, am NOT one of them. I have, even, tried to change my mind into one like those who enjoy this task. I failed miserably! I think I could even go so far as to say that I hate to do dishes.

Jess and I had a deal early on that if he cooked, I would clean up... and vice versa. If I was lucky I may have seen the realization of that deal a whole handful OR two times! It's not happened consistently. (Of course not, you're thinking if you're a woman married longer than 18 months!) It is no longer reasonable for me to expect it to happen according to our deal anymore. I realize this. However, I also realize that when Jess IS home he sleeps a REALLY lot. And he cooks. And he STILL thinks I should clean up after him/us!!! After I have cooked ALL week (and yes, I usually DO cook for the lunches we share as a family!!!) AND cleaned up afterward. Seriously, people! Ooops, I meant: SERIOUSLY Jessie!

NOTE TO READER: these things I'm pointing out as gripes do NOT usually bother me. By this I mean that I'm not all down in the mouth and angry all the time because of all that I have in my head and weighing me down emotionally, mentally, and spiritually (to some extent)... at least I'm not anymore. I just recognize them as parts of life to deal with and feel happiness in the things that are happy to me (and there ARE plenty, truly!). I am simply illustrating for other clueless members of the male "species" those things than trouble lots of women (I think I should know since I am one, after all... AND since I also happen to speak with lots of them!). I just want to make it clear that I actually love my life most of the time. While I do love my life, I still want to make these issues very clear to the member of the Mars Clan who is most important to me: Jessie.

BACK TO THE ISSUES
-----------------------------General ORDER: This is hugely annoying to Jessie because he just doesn't seem to be able to ignore the little things on the floor. I'm sure it's also annoying because he thinks, "All she has to do it get Ria to pick it up!" But, you see, there-in lies the problem! What child WANTS to pick up their toys regularly? Okay, so regularly in our home because of Daddy's schedule means twice a day... a little excessive for any kid. But if she wasn't such a snotty butt about it I would totally be okay with asking her to clean up her stuff an hour before Jess gets home at 2pm and then before bed. But I really dislike fussing at my daughter. I have anger issues I'm trying to overcome, remember?!! There are plenty enough stupid little things I have to mentally wrestle with myself over so that I don't blow a fuse every hour on the hour... I don't want to add fussing at Ria to pick up twice a day. But, I have. It's an issue to Jess, so I'm trying to get Ria to clean up her stuff so it won't be on the floor when he gets home (TWICE A DAY!).
----------------------------Sweeping/Mopping: To be totally honest, I don't even bother mopping with any regularity. Ria gets to earn some money sometimes by cleaning spots. We barter for the price of each spot, then we work with money after the jobs are done. It can be quite fun. I don't mind that so much. But when the whole house is troubled (as in dirt actually STUCK to the floor rather than just hanging out there) that job is so much more frustrating than simply mopping would be. You see, I have two small children who sleep like me. So what? you say. SO... that means I can't do much of anything that makes any sort of noise anywhere near them - especially since our house echoes a bit. And sweeping is only half as frustrating as mopping. The girls will, for the most part, stay out of the way in the room I'm working on. The previous sentence is where the problem with mopping lies... they think they can play in the room I've finished. But, of course, they really can't because the floor is WET. Ah the minute annoyances that combine to drive a Mama MAD!
----------------------------Maintaining extended family relations AND contact with local and long-distance friends. Admittedly the friends are a part of a Mamas way to stay sane, but for an LDS lady they are also very likely part of her responsibility, too (like VTing, which I LOVE, but is also a stressor, however positive, at times). While this area of responsibility is one of the most enjoyable of the many jobs a/this Mama has, it IS exhausting at times because there are periods of days, at least for me, when I just don't want to talk to ANYbody! (Like the last couple days, for instance!) But if one who communicates suddenly goes incommunicado, even if for only a few days, people start to worry that you've gone all weird like you did after 9-11. Just as a source of comfort... even during my worst and darkest months of PPD (post partum depression) I don't think I was as bad as I was at my worst after 9-11! This is a key bit of info for anyone who knows me. Let me break it down. YES, I DO get depressed. Sometimes, even, REALLY depressed. But if it doesn't get to the point I was at in during the PPD I suffered with after Ria, then I'm really REALLY quite okay (because it's no where near as bad as I've visited in my life!). No matter how long it takes, I DO (usually with the help of God and/or a loved one) pull myself up or kick my own butt out of it! I cannot foresee an event (barring Jessie cheating, beating any of us, or a child's death) that would put me over the edge I've already visited regularly! Since PPD I haven't been anywhere near that edge. After 9-11 I was, admittedly, bungee jumping off of it with a faulty bungee (thankfully it didn't fail completely while I was jumping!), but I'm quite okay! Aren't I? haha just a joke. I totally AM okay!!!
--------------------------------BLOG could actually be part of the last section or part of WORK FOR MONEY, but since the latter is not so much pertinent and the former doesn't really qualify (since most of my extended family does not read my blog) I'm making it a separate area. I think it's appropriate to include because it's pleasurable for me, but I also feel sort of like I NEED to do it, too. Jessie's family keeps up with us through it, after all, and he has shared the URL with more people from work than I have with my own friends!
--------------------------------BILLS are not necessarily a woman's job, but they are THIS woman's job. I'm not saying, at all, by any of the following that I do not want this job. I know the I'm more capable, so I do it and I try really hard not to complain often or loudly about it. However, I am going to enumerate the difficulties for my DH and any other man whose wife silently bends under the weight of THIS responsibility. #1 problem: it's ALWAYS there (unless you're super smart and have no debt whatsoever!). #2 problem: not wanting to mention it as much as it nags at the sides or stage of my brain because I don't want to stress my DH out as much as I feel stressed (at least, not most of the time). #3 problem: it's ALWAYS there! #4 problem: Did I mention it's ALWAYS there??? #5 problem: oh yeah, THERE it is AGAIN! Seriously, though... the worst of the #ed problems is the constant fear (or resurfacing of the reality) that there will not be enough money to cover the requests and requirements for said money!

-------------------------------HOMESCHOOLING--------------------------------------
Yes, this is NOT a job every SAHM undertakes, so perhaps it shouldn't be considered at part of the tasks inherent to the work. But since this is MY Blog, it IS! Also... I do believe a majority of parents who value their child(ren) and those child(ren)'s education over the things they could otherwise do or have FOR their children will one day choose to homeschool.

Now, I do NOT mean School at Home, here. I mean HOMESCHOOL! There is a HUGE and fundamental difference. One is MUCH easier than the other. Can you guess which is easier? If you said School at Home, then.... ding-ding-ding... you are RIGHT! And this is only ONE of the many issues a prospective homeschool parent, who is also a responsible parent, need inform themselves about. (Do you see the invested time studying, reading, and learning inherent in reading between the words of that last sentence???)

Homeschooling is FULL of issues that, to be responsible in the undertaking, a parent (at least one of them) has to read up on and make firm decisions about. I have only begun to scratch the surface on this area (researching issues and making decisions). In only 2 days I spent more than 8 hours in that research. Okay, so that's technically "only" part-time work. But combine it with all the other things I need to/should/want to do each day and there is WAY more to do daily than can BE done in the 16 hours I'm awake... which should really only be TWELVE since I'm preggie. Did ya know THAT? Pregnant women are SUPPOSEDLY SUPPOSED to sleep at least 12 hours a day. That's how TAXING pregnancy is!!! (Yes, I know, if you are a woman you are laughing your butt into shapely sexiness at the idea of regularly sleeping 12 hours each day - even IF preggie... but that's what the reading I've done suggests!)

Note to self: add pregnancy as another of the many exhausting (mentally, physically, emotionally, AND spiritually) things I do as a woman/Mama!!!!!

BACK to HOMESCHOOLING
So there are the issues to research= TIME and MUCHO TIEMBRE!!!

Then there's the actual preparation of WHAT to teach. (Did you see more hours of research and decision making inherent in that first/only sentence?? Yep, it's HOURS and not just HOURS once in a while, but, I'd say, at least once a week to figure out the week ahead If you're that organized)!!!

--------My personal first step into this realm of actually focusing on homeschooling (rather than just teaching reading as I have been doing) as someone who believes herself to be a responsible homeschooler, is to determine WHERE to go and WHAT to do with my homeschooling child. HOW does one do that?? Well, a really great starting point (I think) is to figure out what the state or commonwealth in which you reside expects of a child at any given grade level; perhaps first focusing on the grade the child would next enter as a result of their numerical age. This means both the minimum standards AS WELL AS what the parent has to do to jump through the hoops established by TPTB (the powers that be) for those who choose to go against the mainstream TO homeschool!

Now, you could probably get your local librarian to help you locate all the pertinent info (online or off), but that requires the time and opportunity to do such a thing during normal operating hours. Do you see the futility of such a proposition if you have a toddller or more roaming around??? You could get the URL(s) from a teacher you know (if you know one with whom you feel comfy speaking about the alternative education of your child) OR you'll have to do a little digging for the information on your own. (Did you hear another bit of minutes piled together to get that info!??)

Once you find said info you have to either export it, copy and print it, copy the info into a safe notebook, and/or print it out for regular access/planning purposes... Then you have to read and evaluate what is in front of you. Do you think TPTB make it easy for a layperson to understand the establishment's expectations of their educational system. Uhhh... NO!!!! Why the heck would they make it easy!!?? They don't WANT you taking their tax money away by keeping your child home! And if you think I'm just being paranoid, you have NOT informed yourself!!!!

Back to the subject: thankfully I do have a background in education, so most of the benchmark info is pretty easily decipherable, but it took me a few minutes to sort of alter my brain to function in teacher mode to GET what was written "plainly" in front of me! And I, given my teacher training, am still a little confused on some of the benchmarks for Math and Science (since my background was English THAT section, at least, made sense to me). I feel so sad for someone who doesn't have the background a trained teacher would (even if they never taught in public school)! There would be even MORE research/TIME! involved for translation purposes for such a person!!!!!

The next step is to determine how to present the material you've determined your child needs to learn/understand. More than likely, if you are homeschooling, you do NOT plan to stick to the basics required by your state, so there's more research into additional kinds of education and things developmentally appropriate for your child at their given stage. In this step is the decision about prepared curriculums vs. piecing it all together one's self... A whole cirriculum is attractive (possibly easier?!), but there-in lies a problem of money (for poor homeschoolers like muuuaaa). And if you do decide to use some existing material, you have to figure out if there are any inappropriate parts. Even Christian materials for a Christian (like myself) may contain questionable material (like the trinity, for instance, since that does NOT fit the cosmology/diety I know!).

Then there's presentation. Thankfully, for me! Ria (and most children, really) just loves to learn so MUCH that I could totally botch this section and she would still come away from the whole thing a much smarter chickie. But this step also requires some time. Often time spent on the preparation of presentation materials, thinking about how to share the info with the child, and then the actual DOING. Which brings me to:

Last, but CERTAINLY NOT least, there is the actual time spent on the education of the homeschooled child(ren). While this is, or at least, SHOULD be, enjoyable time spent with one's child, it is often fraught with annoyance and frustration - especially in the early days (after the first few really fun ones)! The child doesn't necessarily want to sit for extended periods of time (and I'm not even talking the kind of time they would have to sit in their desk at school - even for Kindergarten!) doing something other than what they actually CHOOSE/WANT to do at that moment. Ria LOVES school, but her fidgeting and fussing get really annoying really quickly. Okay, so you already know I've had anger issues... the previous sentence as an example of one of the many times during the day that I am extremely careful (since quitting the yelling about 4 weeks ago)!

The actual time spent on 1 subject (reading), for us, is usually only about 30-45 minutes. Sometimes even less, actually - like when I accidentally choose a WAY TOO EASY book for her to read! But since I've been feeling the need to really get INTO school we've been doing 3 and 4 subjects/learning lessons, which easily puts us up to 2 hours. Yes, this could (in theory) be split up through the day, but, in reality, the splitting doesn't work so well most days. I am most assuredly NOT complaining about this time. I'm simply illustrating the issues for the dude most important to me (and any curious by-standers that have made it this far).

---------------WORK to make MONEY--------------------------------------------
In case you're wondering, since I haven't mentioned it in quite a while, I have officially give up working my ETSY shop like a real business. I still intend to try to sell a bit around Christmas, but I'm not even hyped up about that any more. WHY?? Well, because Jessie made it SUPER clear that he was so totally not supportive of my efforts (because the house was the ball dropped when I added the WORK ball to the juggling). It's been really sad letting go of that dream of a way to get Jess home more, but it's also made my life easier. I honestly cannot imagine how others juggle it all WITH a creative job! And since Jess was totally unsupportive (he didn't DO anything to help, but he also was not okay with me letting the ball roll away from me either) I have completely dropped that ball. I even threw away the business cards associated with it. The store is still open, but I'm not advertising or trying to move prospective buyers my way.

However, when someone is involved in such a pursuit there are myriad time drains attached. I will list without explanation since it's not super pertinent to my life any longer. Creation of product, packaging of product, self-promotion (SO MUCH TIME!), market research, product research, comparison shopping to improve marketing, self-education on techniques to improve product, and so much more!

OUTSIDE CLASSES for CHILD(REN)
This is critical for the homeschooled child. Not only for the social interaction it provides and stimulates, but also for the change of environment inherent in GOING TO CLASS. While the activities are chosen by parent and/or child, there comes a time in every child's experience when they just want to quit. Ria arrived at that point very early in her dance year. Jess and I have decided how to deal with this situation and that's what we did. For every time a given child wants to quit something we will allow them to do so only after a give period of time. Ria was 3 when she wanted to quit and we never really had a conversation about this whole subject with her because by the following dance class she was excited and wanted to go and NEVER wanted to quit during the remainder of the school year. Currently she is asking when she will get to go back to dance class (we're off until September).

So, even though the parent gets to choose class times (for the most part) we have to live according to anothers' schedule for those classes. This past year Ria has attended Dance class, Story Time (not officially a class, but counts to her), and Joy School (which turned into Play At The Park). Because of shortage of fundage I could not enroll her in Karate (which I TOTALLY wanted to do!). And because we don't have a piano as yet (also no fundage) she has not started piano lessons (which would also be taxing if not imposible due to lack of money). I'm hoping to have enough money to start Ria (at least), but hopefully also Kat in swim classes. So as of August I WANT to have them both in swim class and the following month they will both start Dance! That's a significant amount of time AND money devoted to only two classes (for two children)!!!!

So, is there any wonder that a Mama feels overwhelmed on a regular basis? And, please, Jessie, (or random dude trying to learn a bit more about his Venus Bride) don't think this is a comprehensive explanation. These are only the things that are most present (CONSTANTLY) and pressing on THIS Mamas mind RIGHT NOW. There are more issues that are a bit more philosophical and troublesome more mentally and emotionally than these highlighted and verbosified upon. (Yes, verbosified is probably NOT a word, but I like to make things up... I'm a creative person, after all!) ^_^ I'm sure I've also forgotten one or two that troubles me regularly, but I forget things REALLY regularly. Can you imagine WHY!!?? After this tutorial, I would have to say you are COMPLETELY and UTTERLY HOPELESS if you answered the last question to the negative!

Starting to Look Preggie and COOKIES Revisited

I've mentioned the walking I'm doing. Well, it is visibly paying off, it seems! The numbers on the scale took a turn down this morning. YEAY! Prior to this, of course, they were just very steady at the same reading. Which, really, means that I was gaining baby weight and losing my own. Also, YEAY, but even though I've felt the difference, I also thought that perhaps it was wishful thinking because no one else noticed.

Well, yesterday and today I've received the lovely comment we all yearn to hear when working on improving our appearance from FAT to FIT. Both ladies basically said, "It looks like you're losing weight!" I almost think that the scale didn't move downward because I was doing just enough overeating before because I was afraid my midwife would not approve whole-heartedly (as both of my previous midwives seemed slightly worried that I didn't gain any weight until the last month) in me losing weight during pregnancy. But Karen truly understands the dynamic of fat pregnant girls. She is fabulous and COMPLETELY encourages me to work out and eat right and since I'm really heavy she understands that it's TOTALLY safe for the scale to move down as long as the uterus keeps expanding. Since I AM eating regularly and sometimes still overeating by a lot, I really don't have anything to worry about regarding the baby getting enough nutrients. So, I'm super excited.

Also, combined with the comment that it looked like I was losing weight, Sage mentioned that before I just looked like myself, but now it looks like I'm me and preggie. Which, interpreted, means to me that the preggie belly is differentiated from the general fatness of me. ^_^ heehee

I've been craving and eating homemade chocolate chip cookies (I've mentioned this, I know). I almost bought some Chips A'hoy at the grocery store, but standing there next to them I just felt this overwhelming "NO!" it just had to be homemade. So, believing that cravings really DO have an important role in nutrition (contrary to a lot of research, doctors, and scientists), I set out to make them myself. I also already went into this whole experience in THE COOKIE FIASCO entry.

Well, I have to revisit this issue because I think these cookies, recipe compliments of my best friend Heidi Monteith (whose blog you can skippy to and get the recipe should you want it) get better with time! They were better cool than they were warm (to me!) and they are better today than they were the day I made them (once again: my opinion). So, I think I've found a tie for my favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies!!!

I must admit that I've been sort of annoyed that my cravings went from citrus, to olives (both pretty healthy), to COOKIES!!! But... there may be hope because I've been feeling hankerins for spinach made by Jessie with this awesome seasoning (he brought home a LOAD of the seasoning for me!) and grapes. YEAY!!! Return of the healthy munchies. The cookies are actually starting to taste too sweet to me. Once again, YEAY!!! ^_^

So, the challenge is to continue my walking into the third tri-mester and beyond. This is definitely a challenge for me because I'm only now (32 freakin years old!) learning how important the whole concept of "Enduring to the End" is for and to me personally. I've been pretty good at being consistent with my students (as a teacher), my husband, and my children... but not myself. :( I'm working to change myself in MANY ways. Like I told my friend Heather, "I'm 32, man! I'm gunna OWN this year!!! I'm gunna ROCK it and love it and love myself!" And, so far, I really feel like I'm moving in the right direction. Another "YEAY!!"

Yesterday I walked the bridge again and it was great except for this horrible patch on my side of the bridge. Which, of course, means I went through it TWICE! I walked through a cloud of NOSEEUMS. Have you encountered these horrible little bugs??? Well, if you come visit me during the summer (or now) I can introduce you and you will be amazed and feel exceeding respect for my determination to improve my fitness. You see, if you haven't encountered these horrible bugs, you have NO CLUE! The ones I have here are tiny little spots of light brown and BITE THE HECK OUT OF YOU!!!!!!!! Oh, MY!

I almost forgot about them, actually. I remembered that lovebug mating season is fast approaching and thought I might take a break from the bridge to avoid those harmless buggers. (I didn't want to breath them or swallow them and didn't want the girls to do either likely outcome of walking amid them, either!) The lovebugs get SO thick out on A1A that you literally cannot walk, run, ride, bike, or drive without getting them ALL over!!! Seriously gross if you don't like bugs so much. (And, if you weren't sure, I DO NOT!!!)

Well, the NOSEEUMS are MUCH MUCH much MUCH worse!! As I mentioned they are tiny and they bite. Well, as if that's not bad enough, (for a bug-almost-aphobe) the bites hurt/itch immediately. The hurt/itch does fadepretty quickly. Not so bad. After initially thinking maybe I should turn around, I decided I could deal with the immediate pain and annoyance because I COMPLETELY FORGOT the after-effect. You see, I woke up around 5:30-6am because I itched so baddly and CONSTANTLY that I could not rest at all! That is REALLY annoying AND the regular effect of those bits on me. Of course, I totally remember all this NOW!

You may not have known me or perhaps didn't know about my experience with itchiness just before I got preggie with Ria. I was cleaning up in the yard and pulled down some vines from the shed behind our trailer. The result of which was a truly horrible case of Poison Ivy. I mean, so bad that many people wanted me to go-to-the-Doc-and-get-steriods kind of BAD! I was also miserable because I ABSOLUTELY hate pointless things, especially pain. (I really don't love buying garbage bags, toilet paper, and even often wish we didn't need to eat cause it just turns into POOP!) All of that leads logically to why the pain of labor is TOTALLY do-able for me. For ONE: I understand some reasons that drugs are bad during labor AND for another: I get to have a result for the pain (a GORGEOUS little baby!!). Anyway... I've been majorly going offtrack a lot. Hopefully not troubling to you!

Jessie thought it would be fun/funny to take pictures of me

when I was suffering with Poison Ivy.

He thought I looked so funny... at least one of us had a good time with it!

By the way,

the big face is because of swelling

not because I was this fat at the time these pictures were taken!

Basically, I think I'm going to give the bridge a couple day's rest unless I can get up early to walk it. (I walked to the park over the bridge this morning at around 9:30am and was not troubled by the NOSEEUMS. So maybe we will attempt our long walk in the early part of the day?) Sage brought me home to avoid the boiling heat of the middle of the day SUN. She's SO sweet!! Regardless, though, I'll still be walking and there are a few good little hills down the street, so I'll definitely be climbing it and every other East/West street with some upanddown to it. :)

Until next time:
HAVE AN AWESOME LIFE!

Day 13

Jessie is almost through the critical first two weeks of becoming a non-smoker. I think it would be an even more critical time period if he wasn't using any nicorette, but he's barely using it. Last time he told me (this weekend) he was down to using only 2 each day. the package suggests 9 for the first 2 weeks. He started at 3 (4 one day) and is down from that! I'm so impressed!!!

So, what do YOU think about all the "food shortage" issues abounding in the news? I, for one, am feeling heightened anxiety about my food storage. The same thing happened (well, not as severly in the news) the last time I was preggie. And, as it happens, the anxiety was a HUGE blessing. I acted on it and purchased a 3 month supply of food. We used almost all of it, living off of food storage almost exclusively, right before and after our move here! So, I feel like this is another blessing. It may not be that the world is going to have a famine in the imminent future, though I DO believe that is a sort of eventuality as a part of these last days, but I really believe that the feeling I'm having is directing me to make some significant additions to our stores (which are NOT up to the 3 month limit we have in FL). We're doing it!!! Even though we might "need" to replace the car, we're going to make sure we have food storage in place before considering that. I'm so grateful Jess understands my feelings, sometimes... like the fact that this anxiety could be a really good indication that we may need what I desperately want to provide for our family, in the very near future!

I don't think I mentioned that my midwife ROCKS! I did mention that we saw her on Friday. After I weighed in, saw the same weight, and she said, "You go girl!" I explicitly spoke to her about my weight. I told her about how I was working to become more fit AND really hoped to lose a certain number of pounds. Her response? "Go for it!" She's completely confident that the baby (or babies??!) are growing well. I measured 19 centimeters and am actually only 17 weeks. (You're supposed to measure the same as your weeks.) So, she's probably going to pressure me about ultrasound if the gap increases as my pregnancy progresses. (At the last appointment I was 12 weeks and measured 13 centimenters.) With Ria I measured 2 cent. higher until really near the end. And with Kat I measure 2 high until I was about 20 weeks. So, it will be interesting to see what happens this time around. :)

On the subject of fitness... I accomplished my goal of walking 5 days for 1 hour each day last week. YEAY!!! I feel really good about that. I also did a really leasurely walk on another day. The girls were both walking, so it was REALLY slow for me.