What the Heck Wednesday?



No, I'm not really planning to start another series... just thought that title was more appropriate than my normal one.

So, it's been a while since the "Strike of the pink-haired-woman" and I think I may be able to write about it reasonably now.  I sure hope so.

Have you ever met someone that thought the world was sour no matter how much sugar was actully in it?  I think this woman might be like that.  And I'm pretty sure I used to be a bit like that... so, given what we can learn from the Essene Mirrors, I needed to meet her so I could more completely see myself.

However, I believe, even at my worst, I have avoided speaking to children the way she spoke to my child.  Maybe I'm wrong.  The only way I can know that is if someone who has known me for a while tells me.  So, if there is such a person out there, please do let me know.  I ask that you be kind because I am tender-hearted, as much as folks seem to think otherwise.  I work hard to refrain from choosing to be offended, but I do feel hurt when folks are mean when they say things that are true.

So, it was two weeks ago that the pink-haired female passed our lil' shop at the Farmer's Market.  I'd seen her before, but I guess the girls had been engaged in greeting others.  We certainly didn't have an interaction before two weeks ago.

My eldest daughter greeted the pink-haired old woman just like she does most folks.  I think she actually said, "Hello, how are you today?" since the woman has super short died pink hair.  The woman turned and said, "Well what are you doing out of school?"  Ria said, "I homeschool!"  The woman with the pink hair said, "Well, that's what's wrong with you.  That's why you don't have social manners.  You need to go to school to get some social manners."

ummm.... REALLY?  That's a case of the pot calling the kettle black, dontcha think?  Not that I think she's correct about my child having no social manners.  In fact, the very fact that my daughter did not respond shows, at least to me, that she has a few manners more than that old woman.

I really did attempt to leave it be and let her pass by without saying anything.  The more I sat silently on, the more sick to my stomach I felt.  Especially when my girl looked at me like, "Why in the world would she say that me, Mom?"  She didn't speak the question, but it was heavy in her questioning looks my way.

As a result, I got up and went to the woman.  She was just about to walk away from another lady's shop, so I said, "If you actually stopped to talk with my child, you would find that she is very smart and sweet."  The woman turned and seemed a bit flustered.  She sorta asked what I meant.  I gestured to my child and said, "If you actually spoke with my child, you would find that she has social manners and then some."

The conversation was not good beyond that.  Basically, the old woman with the pink hair attempted to argue her point by changing her position numerous times.  I live with someone who argues that way... unfortunately for her.  As a result, I am very skilled at putting down new points while still sticking to the original.

Among her arguements, she told me that the world was a mean place and the children needed to go to school so they would learn how to deal with the mean world.  She told me that they had no social manners because they weren't exposed to society.  She told me that they couldn't be productive in society because they weren't gong to school.  She said that they were not learning how to socialize in the market, that they were only learning 'the hard sale'.

I did refute each point well, but she is entrenched in her fallacious position and so determined to protect her incorrect assumptions that she couldn't respond to my logic and, thus, presented increasingly nonsensical positions.

Why in the world would parents put children in school to be treated poorly?  I mean, really?  The world will be mean to them as it will... they don't need tons of experience with that to learn how to deal with it!  You just learn as you go no matter how old.  At least, if they are able to be protected and sheltered from the nastiness of the world they might end up with a more unshakeable hope!  Maybe not, but it's possible!

As my husband said, "Why in the world would you take a child out of society to learn how to be part of society??  They are IN society, learning how to interact with people of all ages.  She doesn't know what she's talking about."  I completely agree with him.

Regarding productivity in society... hmmm... so, teaching them how to work in sales, how to interact with people in a genuine manner while hoping they appreciate your product enough to buy it... teaching them how to understand unspoken (body) language and interact with people in a way that is mindful of their desires... all that is contributing to what?  A totally unproductive member of society, apparently.

Selling, if you are an entreprenuer, is part of socializing.  Business owners are who they are and they have something they hope others might appreciate/like/want.  It is what it is.  That doesn't mean that when we speak to someone who only care about whether they want to buy a Flexi or not.

In fact, I have come to believe that this business (Lilla Rose) is in my life to get me out into the world.  I'm a BIG home-person.  I would rather be at home than anywhere else MOST of the time.  However, as a Christian, I should be out and about sharing the Light of Christ with all I meet.  Well, going to the market, I'm in a position to do that.  I believe that's why Father led me to this business.

Each morning before we go into the market, the girls and I have a prayer that Father will bless our efforts and help us know what we need to do and say and if there is someone that needs us especially.  We ask Father to help us shine forth the Light of Christ.  Going to the market is first about doing what Heavenly Father would have us do.  We hope that while we are about our Father's work, we will sell some hair jewelry because we could really use the money... but that is not the first or primary focus.

I would like to add, a point I did convey the the little old woman with pink hair.  I'm relatively sure she didn't hear me.  If she did, she knew she didn't have an apporpriate logical arguement because she changed her aguement again after I said, "School is not a normal socializing environment.  It is not normal, anywhere in life, to socialize with those who are mostly and/or only within 10 months of your age.

The way my children interact with others is much more like real life, in that they socialize with people of all ages."  Homeschooling really does offer many more opportunities for normal socialization.  Sometimes, as the parent/teacher, we have to seek out additional opportunities to socialize, but when there are many children, it's amazing how much social-manners education goes on EVERY day.  And it's normal socialization (interacting with many ages!), not the weird concoction that is public school.

Homeschool Training and Support

A comment on a previos post, which was super briefly about homeschooling, suggested that if there was a support and training system in place for homeschooling parents, more would do it.  The implication I read (mostly because I kinda know the commentor) was that if the state had some trainging and support systems in place, more would homeschool.

There are such things in places like California.  And, from what I've heard they work.  Sort of.  I don't know much about the system and I haven't researched it and will not take the time to do so unless I feel it pressingly important.  However, what little I know leads me to believe that providing such creates a new kind of dependence.

The kind of dependence created is rather antethema to some of what makes homeschooling so valuable to the community as a whole.  Part of the reason (not all of it, of course) that homeschooling is so great IS the difficulty of it.  Granted, putting my children away from me for the greater part of the day and entrusting them into another's care would be far more difficult for ME than what I do as a homeschooling Mama.  But what I do is too difficult for the majority of parents who send their children to public school, thus they send them to public school.

Additionally, creating a training and support system through the State simply creates a school at home situation.  There is a difference, ya know, between school at home and homeschool.   Homeschooling is less about recreating the school environment at home and more about teaching our children through life, in non-threatening ways, and in ways that are tailor-made for each of our child-students.

Finally, I desire to point out that "training" outlets and "support systems" are already in place.  The difference between a State providing such and the way it already exists is that the individual who desires to homeschool their child or children must research and learn and find the training and support systems which currently exist.  Whereas, if a State provided training and support structure became standard, the very nature of homeschooling as it is today would change in a big way for the majority of homeschoolers... at least the new ones.  Some folks, including the person who made the comment to which I am sort of responding, would consider this a good thing.  However, for those like me... who are actually DOing the homeschooling and like and appreciate the way it is now, well... we just don't.

So, I hope the California model will stay right where it is in California.  I hope also that the Florida virtual schools will remain rather obscure.  And finally, I hope that homeschooling continues to be about seperating oneself and one's family from the support structure of the government because if it changes from what it is (in that regard), our whole country will lose a source (small though it may be) of a different kind of strength.

So I Do, For Much The Same Reason

A Writing Contest, But Not

I love the concept of this contest. It's a homeschoolers' writing contest that rewards the child who makes the most submissions! As most of you know, I love to write. (Look at the blog! Few pictures, MANY words. ^_^) I am, admittedly, an aspiring author. Would you have EVER guessed. ;) So, I love this contest because, as an aspiring author, I've read in so many places and put in so many different ways the basic idea, "The more an aspiring writer makes submissions, the more likely they are to become a published author." I just think this writing contest is awesome as a way to encourage excitement about submitting writing in our homeschooling kiddos! The fact that it is especially FOR homeschooling kiddos is just that much more awesome to me, as a homeschooling Mama! ^_^

Recital

Ria is SO excited about this Saturday! She's going to be on stage again. I think if it weren't for this one day of the year, she might not be so consistently excited about ballet. You may wonder why I say such a thing.

Well, recently Ria wanted to quit piano lessons. This is not an option. There are many reasons I would like Ria to learn piano, but the main reason I wasn't going to hear anything about quiting is because I feel that I was never REALLY encouraged to continue with things I started... which has created a long-term/life problem I have been struggling to over-come for many years now. Anyway... In Ria's very next piano class her teacher mentioned something about a recital. Since then she has been SO excited about piano and working hard without complaint to complete her lessons and memorize her performance pieces! I mean, it's like I have a new little girl because her attitude is SO changed!

I'm wondering if there's some way I can plan a sort of "show" for her to share what she's learned in school... a sort of Recital of Learning. Our homeschool has been going better than it had been for a while. For a little while there she was fighting just about everything! :( Currently she's more willing to do what needs to be done, but it would just be really nice if she were excited about it and more self-motivated. With this most recent experience (becoming SO excited about piano after learning that she would get to perform for others) I can't help but feel something similar would benefit our other efforts as well.

Do you have any suggestions on a sort of recital of learning? I haven't even really been able to THINK about it, so your ideas will be REALLY helpful. :)

What Kind of Homeschooler are YOU?

I am an eclectic homeschool/un-schooler!

I'm currently working on un-schooling myself and have been so doing for a good while. I have come to feel, more and more, that the "sit down and study" way of doing things doesn't work nearly as well as "hey, look at this and let's learn more!" way of doing things. The former would be what most people think of when they think of schooling or any sort. The latter is more the way Un-schoolers' way to "do school". I'm not there yet, but I'm moving in that direction.

The traditional homeschooler will have their children in a desk or at a table completing workbooks and reading textbooks. Not unlike the schooling children receive (?) in the system for teaching large groups of kiddos. Unschoolers DO things. They'll take trips (obviously I haven't been doing this much as I haven't had a vehicle), make things, watching things, etc and then talk about their experiences. The conversations are the "tests" and the doing is the "classroom". I seek to emulate this practice more. Yet I do feel there are subjects and types of information (like Math!) that I do not feel confident in teaching adequately by following an un-schooling philosophy. Thus the eclictic homeschooler part of who I am as a homeschoolin Mama.

My move toward more un-schooling may have more to do with a shift in perception and understanding than actually un-schooling myself. But I DO think I have to get rid of many (even most!) of my teacher-education and expectations resulting from that "higher" education because it all often leads to frustration and lack of acknowledgment of the REAL learning that is and has taken place in our homeschool environs. Most of those real learning times that I can see more clearly now really had nothing to do with sitting at a table or in a desk.

Thus far in my homeschooling journey, we have used two "formal" curricula. I've mentioned them before (How to Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons and Math-U-See). I also ascribe to some Charlotte Mason principles. Outsourcing parts of my kiddos education via classes (like Dance) and/or tutors (like Piano) is awesome and I do and will apply them as necessary and possible.

Additionally, I have grown to see the value and wonder of unstructured time and play for my children! I didn't see or understand this idea nearly so clearly when Ria was itty bitty. As a result I was constantly working with her on some-schooly-thing or other. Kat has a much more active imaginary world than Ria did. I'm sure this is partially because she has an older sister, but I'm equally sure it has to do with the time I have purposefully left her to her imaginary play, which has been regular and often. She is quick and bright when I "do school" with her, if she's interested, of course. When she's not interested, she's just like a regular two-year-old. And that's certainly okay... since that's what she IS! She's also a different learner. She doesn't prefer to sit the way Ria pretty easily tolerated at the same age. It will be interesting to figure out what works for Kat... and HOW to make it work!

I plan to continue to use those curricula (mentioned above) and possibly add others as I feel a need and/or desire. I've heard a few awesome comments and read more about Apologia Sciences and I'm really interested in that cirriculum. However, I do NOT expect that I will ever WANT to purchase a full on one-source-curriculum for any age/grade of a child or children of mine. I'm totally happy, content, and confident with the practice of remaining on our current course as an eclectic homeschooler with un-schooling tendencies! It totally works thus far. If it seems to NOT work at some point, I will re-evaluate and make changes so that it continues TO work!

Why, in the world!, would I try to fix something that is NOT broken!?? Well, I'm not going to. And (in response to many who make a comment (those near and far), even accusation, on the same subject of my reply): if I'm a mean Mama because I'm doing what I believe and, yes, even KNOW is best for MY children, then so be it. I would rather be "mean" as these individualS perceive me, then feel less confident in the presence of my Father when I stand before Him to be judged on my stewardship. This is NO judgment from ME against any one else's choices. But I stand firm and steadfast in my own.

I know that almost every parent out there is simply doing the hardest job possible: the best they can in general, but specifically the best they can by their kids. So why is it that others give ME a hard time when I'm doing the VERY same thing? *sigh* We're traveling in the same direction, we're just taking different roads. Mine is better for me, but may not be better for them. I'm all right with parents who really are doing their best. Can they be all right with me? I don't try to "convert" them to homeschooling. I simply talk about my own experiences. They, parents who send their kids to school, often do try to convert or guilt me onto their road. :( This is not Father's way. We ALL have agency. Not just the mainstream!!

So... I'll stick to my eclectic homeschooling with un-schooling ways, thank you.

If you homeschool, what kind of homescooler are you??

Want to read what others homeschoolers say about various and diverse subjects? Click on over to The Homeschool Cafe for the Carnival of Homeschooling. It's Blarney in celebration of St. Patty's Day. I'm participating. If you homeschool, why don't you do it, too!?? The more the merrier, I hear. :)