This past week I read a post by a blogger I really like. She also has a second post, sort of a follow-up, about the same topic, which I recomend. But the one to which I've linked is the one that started me in the new mental direction I'm pursuing. Another paradigm shift to rock the end of my 2010!!! ^_^ The information containted in that post has been causing many "after shocks" in my mind and conversation since. I'm so interested in and profoundly effected by the recognition of truth and subsequent efforts to synthesize it and create some change in my mind and life resulting from the recognition, that I feel a desire and even need to share the info with those few who may read my meanderings here.
So, here I go!
Motivation is the thing that gets us going in a given direction. That's basic. Everybody knows it. Well, I would assume so anyway.
Have you considered the KIND of motivation effecting your efforts? The kind may well determine, at least in part (probably large), the outcome of your efforts to move in the direction of your choice. How? Let's look at some examples from my life.... just cause you probably know me some and may be able to identify with some of the examples or, at the very least, will surely be able to comprehend the message that pertains to you from my story. Stories are awesome that way, aren't they!?
So, let's say you know this perpetually fat girl. And, since you know me, you DO know at least one! :) Now, most people, to look at me, would not call me morbidly obese, but according to the charts I am. And, at the very least, I feel morbid about my obesity. ;) Seriously, though. I started getting fat, far as I can tell, when I was 10. Since then I've had two pretty good runs at being thinner. My thinnest each time saw me a size 10, but not able to drop the numbers on the scale below 160. Even when I was running 6 miles a day 5-6 days a week. Yes. I'm serious. So... how does this pertain to motivation? Well, what has always been the "inspiration" when motivated to lose weight? To get away from being fat, of course. Okay, so the "of course" really should not be OF COURSE, but for me it has been.
For a good part of my life (most of it!), I've been trying to move "away from" being fat. I've been motivated away from being fat. Well, the thing about "away from" motivation (and I can definitely tell you that in my life this truth is hard, cold, and basically a FACT and not just when it pertains to weight issues) is that when our psyche is far enough away from the source of it's motivation, the effort to move "away from" becomes less and less and eventually most "away from" motivated people (me, me, me!) will stop moving "away from" entirely and slowly slide back into habits that caused the problem from which the away to move "away from" motivation arose at the start of the whole process.
On the other end is our family decision to homeschool. Okay, so in the beginning it was a TORI-decision. But after Jess saw some of the fruit (Ria reading at 4 years old), he decided to embrage the hog and hop on board. ^_^ So, since then we've definitely have "towards" motivation working here in our hearts and home. And how do I know the difference? Well, when it's gotten very difficult and I've wanted to give up... we haven't. We have not stopped homeschooling even though the going has gotten VERY tough at times. We? Yes. Jess has pep-talked me back to determination to keep on keepin' on. It's definitely a team effort here in the Gollihugh home... whether he actually does any "teaching" or not... which he does do, actually quite often, I need my primary cheerleader!!!! I was and still am definitely motivated by some "away from" sort of inspiration, but the primary reason we keep going is because our Father in Heaven has communicated to us that this is the Path He would have us follow. And who would want to move "away from" Him!??!!!??
Another example of "towards" motivation for me is our birthing choices. Sure, there's the desire to move "away from" interventions and "away from" strangers in the process... but for me the first and foremost motivation has always been TOWARD the best experience for my baby, my man, and me (and now our girls, too, of course). And, of course, needing to confess Christ in ALL things, I must confess that His direction in this is THE last word.
In my own self, I have always been motivated toward the healthiest (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) way to give our babies the best very first start. I have been motivated toward doing what I know my body is capeable of doing and doing it in the best way possible, which, for us, has meant: at home, quiet, with our family, midwife, her assistant, and a close friend and/or my Mom to attend to the needs of littles. Yes, we have out young ones present to watch the birth because we desire that they should see their siblings born that they may know there are no if, ands, or buts about the new one's belonging in our family. Once again, this has definitely been a choice for which TOWARD motivation must necessarily be within Jess AND me. Last time (Tea's birth) my midwife had me so riled up and worried that I asked the Lord many times if I could please go to the hospital. He said no. I asked Jess if we could go to the hospital and HE said no. So, the two most important men in my life urged me TOWARD what I wanted most and we three pulled it off with our midwife present to pull the baby out to prevent shoulder distocia (since she was supposed to weigh upwards of 11.5 pounds according to the ultrasound. :p) Ain't God GREAT!??
Currently I am working to change my thinking in lots of ways because of the most recent pradigm shifts I've experienced, this whole motivation thing being the most recent one. One thing I'm really trying to change to TOWARD motivation is how I think about money. As a result of God's grace and provision for us, we were able to pay off our credit cards prior to becoming unemployed. Now, during this down-time (when Jess is working, but his income is NOT entirely sufficient for our needs) I'm striving to change my fiscal mind so that when the time comes and we have sufficient and some excess, we will be able to use what we have to great benefit of our family's future fiscal life.
Of course, I'm also working on TOWARD motivation regarding my body. And then maintaining the TOWARD motivation!
How about you? Can you see any goals you could apply a change of TOWARD motivation to increase the probability of long-term success? I hope you experience some mental earthquakes as a result of this info. I'm sure it'll only be the good kind... to shake your world up and enable you to make it TONS better!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Showing posts with label labor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label labor. Show all posts
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A New Gollihugh...
GIRL! Another beauty queen to add to our "softball team, to be". ;) She really is a sweetie, too... And super strong, which I totally knew from her movement and reactions while still in utero (only a few hours ago, really).
THANK YOU so much for thinking about us, worrying about us, and praying for us. I KNOW that your thoughts and prayers have helped and even sustained us (me!). I went from extremely depressed and totally giving up on myself on Tuesday (after the ultrasound and subsequent talk with Karen), to peaceful, hopeful, and assured by Thursday morning when I went into labor (again) naturally.
Just so you don't have to read the whole labor story if you don't want to, I'll share with you our daughter's birth stats right away. The labor story will be told completely for my own record as well as to share with the you (as you're interested) the wonderful tale. ^_^
Our Daughter's Stats
Our little girl was born at 10:36pm.
Her name is Theresa Diane Gollihugh. We are calling her Tea (pronounced like Ria). ^_^
She is 21 and 3/4 inches long.
Her head is 15 and 3/4 inches around AND my midwife never felt sutures (which form when the bones of the skull overlap as they are made to do). That means that Tea's head wasn't much smaller than normal through the birth canal, though it probably closed over the fontanels during the trip through the canal... her head was totally round as soon as she was out!
She weighed in at 10 pounds 4 ounces, which is more than 12 ounces less than the ultrasound predicted!!!! Darn ultrasounds... and if you know me, I'm sure you can imagine I would like to add some stronger language, but am trying to be Christlike!
Comparison Reference Info you may find interesting to think about as you read THE STORY
Just for comparison/reference purposes, Ria was 8 poounds 4 ounces and Kat was 9 pounds 8 ounces. I pushed Ria out in 13 minutes while it took about 45 minutes to get Kat out. Labor with Ria was 21.5 hours from the very first to the delivery. With Kat it was right at 48 hours, with a few hours break during the first night, during which time I was able to sleep. With both of my first two labors I didn't eat much at all, IF at all from the time I started labor until the end. I vomited with both of them. I wasn't able to drink much water because it made me feel queasy even more... Very exhausting to not drink or eat!!
THE LABOR STORY and it IS long... just warning ya!
Because I'd had so many "false starts" with labor, and we'd already had a plan to see Karen on Thursday about some natural inductions, we did go to her office for 1:30pm on Thursday afternoon. Natural labor did stall after I started the homeopathics, but I was 4cm so it started back up quite easily with the remedy Karen gave me. Though I was in labor, it wasn't terribly taxing, so I don't count Thursday as a day or labor, really, because I don't think the labor produced much effect at that point. That night I didn't sleep much because I woke up regularly to pee and decided to keep taking the homeopathic remedy through the night in hopes of helping labor along more quickly.
Friday was a lot more active, but still not taxing the way heavy labor is. I know there was some effective work done on Friday, but not a huge amount. That night Jess worked at the club for a few hours, which was quite stressful for me... but we made it through. We had a "date night" and watched Cruso (not sure about the spelling, but it's a new show on Prime Time, though we watched it online) because we figured it would be the last chance to do so without a babe in arms. We both slept about 3 good hours.
Saturday morning I dreamed of experiencing contractions and having full-on labor and awakened at 5am to some! I timed them and felt assurance that this was the day. The contractions were lasting about 1.5 minutes with 4 minutes from start of one to start of another, which was awesome to me because that's when Karen told us to call her to come out to us. I was hopeful that this would be a faster labor than either of my first two, so called her with the info after I'd had the contractions going for an hour that I was aware of. She lives in DeLand, which is about an hour away, so she arrived around 7:15am. Everything was good when she arrived. I was dilated to a 4 or 5 on the outside part of the cervix, but the inside was only ONE centimeter and the baby was still very high! I was bummed, but figured things could go quickly since she could actually feel the inside part of the cervix (she'd not been able to previously).
I'd called my dear friend Sage soon after I spoke to Karen. Sage had offered to help me with my girls during the labor, many months ago. I was a naked birther for my first two labors and deliveries, so I'd been really troubling over who I could feel comfy asking to attend to my oldest daughters while I was labor. I wanted me children to be present to witness the birth (as Ria did Kat's). It would have to be someone I could feel comfy looking at after she'd seen me in all my naked "glory." She would have to be someone I could feel trust in the idea that she would not represent me unkindly to others afterward.
After just the first Sunday of seeing Sage and observing her with her children, I knew I wanted to know her and, hopefully, be friends with her... I was blessed tremendously to have the opportunity to forge a wonderful friendship with her as our daughters (both Victorias!) played together for Joy School. When she made the offer to take care of my daughters during my labor, I felt this HUGE surge of joy and thanksgiving and almost immediately accepted her offer. My delayed acceptance was due to my concern over the fact that she might have a difficult time leaving her baby (who is 20 months old now and still a nursling, which, if you know me, I TOTALLY love and aprrove of and think VERY highly of!!).
While talking to Sage there was some concern over her schedule for the day and some illness in her family recently and, basically, the conversation ended and I was going to call my visiting teacher (who I also felt comfy with because she's VERY beliving in natural living and so-forth). I didn't call Judy, my visiting teacher, right away because she lives closer to where we are and I knew it wouldn't take her as long to get to us. Before I made the call to Judy, Sage called me back and let me know that if I still wanted her, she could come out to us. YEAY! Of course I still wanted her!!! No matter how much I may love any of my friends (and Judy is definitely one!) a first choice is still a first choice, ya know! :)
Sage arrived around 8:30am (I think... my time reference could be a bit off through much of this story... it's approximates). When she came in, we were blown away because she was carrying at least 4 grocery bags and 2 Burger King bags! She relayed the idea that she just wanted to try to make the waiting special for the girls and had brought treats to help to that end. And boy, did she bring treats! She brought Mama/baby of almost everything. A huge box of goldfish, indivudual bags of goldfish; regular bananas, tiny bananas; muffins; and large juice boxes & small juice boxes! Burger King was breakfast for the Gollihughs! She also brought a box full of breakfast sausages to keep in the freezer, crustables, and a bowl of prepared fruit! Isn't that amazing? We felt overwhelmed and tremendously appreciative... touched and deeply grateful for her compassion, thoughtfulness, generosity, and love!
Ria was awake already and Kat awakened very soon after Sage arrived. Sage took over with the girls right away and kept the girls away from me during contractions, which were pretty intense already at that point, though still around 4-5 minutes apart. Sage did reading class with Ria and the three of them headed off to watch a movie.
It was around 10:30am that Karen checked me again to discover that I'd gone from a 1cm to 4/5cm on the inner cervix! YEAY!
Jess and I went for a walk to the beach so I could climb the stairs in hopes of helping the baby descend. Her head was above a 0, which is not such a good thing because it takes longer for the cervix to develop without the pressure of the head on it. We also completed a walk around our block. Although the exertion was minimal, I was sweating profusely and felt a bit tired when we arrived home. I took a shower.
By around 11:30am, soon after my shower, the contractions were petering out and I was feeling REALLY tired. :( I felt like I really needed a nap and conveyed that idea to Karen, who suggested that I could consider the idea of asking Sage to take our girls to her house so I could have some quiet time to nap and Sage could get to and attend to Mary. Sage had previously expressed some concern over being away from Mary too long, which was totally understandable to me. Sage was happy to oblige and BOTH of my daughters headed away from me with my dear friend. I'm not absolutely sure... there may have been another time that Sage took both of them, but if she did, it was for only a couple hours. I know Sage has taken Ria a couple times, but I'm pretty sure this was the first time Ria AND Kat left me. It really was a huge blessing. (I labored through the night with Kat, so Ria wasn't distracting or anything for the majority of that experience.)
I did head off for a nap (Jess, too, of course). Contractions completely stopped. (Had I been in hospital for this sort of thing, this would have been labeled "failure to progress" and I would have been put on pitocin!) I was able to actually SLEEP for about an hour, which was a deep, real, energizing, and renewing sleep (unlike a few other nights this past week!).
I awakened to realize that the contractions had truly stopped and felt sad, frustrated, and depressed. I was praying and crying over it when Karen returned. She'd taken the time for a break as well (as she should!). I began nipple stimulation almost immediately and contractions started soon thereafter. Karen again started me on the homeopathics and labor was well on it's way again within an hour.
After the nap (can't remember how soon) I was up to 6cm dilated and 90% effaced, which is totally good, but not as far along as I'd hoped, of course. (I, obviously, still need to work on my patience... I think that's one very possible HUGE lesson my long labors are meant to help me with, don't you?)
Another few hours and I was 7cm.
Another couple hours and I was feeling really weepy over the duration of everything. I do want to add, just because it's a HUGE differnce in this labor from the others, that I'd been drinking lots of water AND eating bit by bit here and there through the whole day! I felt queasy a few times, but after burping I was totally cool. No barfy-butt stuff!!
It was after around 5+ hours from the time that Ria and Kat left that I began to feel this surging sadness over being away from my girls for so long... I missed them TONS!!! I wanted to hold them in between contractions, but I knew I would get frustrated over the distraction of them during contractions. AND to make things even more upsetting, frustrating, and depressing for me, I'd hoped we would have the baby in time for Jess to take the girls to our Ward's Trunk or Treat party (6:30pm last night). Sage took them and they had a BLAST! Sage also took our girls to the McDonald's and a grocery store, at some point during their day together. Ria told me they had some food (MikkyD's), ice cream treats, and soda (all of which are HUGE and rare treats for both our girls, but were facts shared with great joy, secrecy, and almost reverence by Ria to me! ^_^). Sage had conveyed her desire to make the day special for Ria and Kat... and BOY did she do a BANG-UP job!!!! :) I think that Sage is a most precious angel-friend!!! I'm so grateful for ALL the angels in our lives... know that, if you were praying for us and/or wishing us well, YOU are among the angels who have blessed us!!!
If you haven't experienced labor, you may think I'm nuts...but in labor MANY women experience the full range of human emotion. I'm DEFINITELY one of those... perhaps to the extreme. Even worse, because I have a difficult time removing my mind from the experience, I go through a full-range of thoughts on the situation, what I should do, how I should do it, what the baby is doing, how I can influence it... I could go on and on AND on! It's detrimental in many ways, but I know I'm not the only one like me. Anyway... that's just a little rant about myself and something I feel I need to change. :)
A Bit About Jess
I've not written much about Jess because I'm going to ask him to write the birth story from HIS perspective and share it in my blog, for you to read! I think he'll do it since he asked for my password last night 'cause he was planning to share some info himself! HA!!! I wasn't having that since this is MY "world". But his perspective is very different (obviously) and I would like to see it more clearly myself! ^_^ So, I'm not going to write what I think he was going through and such, but I do want to share that my sweet husband has COMPLETELY changed from our first birth experience to this one. When we had Ria... it was and should have been truly described as TORI went into labor and birthed Ria. (As opposed to the common description young lovers use of "our" for everything, including labor and delivry.) Jess was present for the whole thing in body, but he didn't DO anything beyond stand near me and pet me, which I fussed at him to stop regularly. I'm VERY easily overstimulated during heavy labor and much of any touching is very difficult for me/on my skin. Weird? True, though! The problem with Jessie's lack of DOing, for me, was that we'd regularly attended birth class together AND practiced partner led relaxation techniques and then he didn't do ANY of the things we'd learned or practiced! I was so bummed about it, felt WAY let down, and (yes, unreasonably) MAD about it for a LONG while afterward.
With Kat I knew, as a result of the experience of Ria's birth, that I had to tell Jess exactly what I needed. I did and it was all right. I was still sad that he wasn't as attentive as I wanted... he slept a LOT during the whole process!!! THIS time, though... OH MY GOODNESS!!! Can you say, "A changed man!??" Well, if you think you can, DO... because THAT is what I experienced! I feel all teary-eyed and full of gratitude and thanksgiving over the man who attended me as I worked to bring our child into the world!!!
Truly the process of labor to bring Tea into this world was a joint partnership between my Jessie and me! While I labored in a less mobile, less "doing" way, Jess was ever present, working in our home to prepare things, clean things, keep things moving and as everything progressed he sat with me (reading a book to stay awake during the less intense hours) and he held my hand tightly (which is the best and almost only physical touch I can tolerate during contractions) when I needed him. There were times when he wasn't right next to me and a contraction would start and then he was there and I knew that he knew I needed him. MANY fewer times (this go round) did I have a need to call out to him because he was already THERE for me!!! He was awake (physically, mentally, and emotionally) through the WHOLE thing (except for our nap time, of course) and he was present and attentive to me AND DOING anything he could for me! I feel such thanksgiving and gratitude for the partner he is for me!!!!
STILL ABOUT JESSIE
The miracles of prayer and potatoes
I experienced two things that I do not lightly name miracles during this experience of labor WE went through together, my Jessie and me. You can laugh all you want, but the first I'll share is about potatoes. Jess fed me as much as he could yesterday. He regularly suggested things and prepared them in due haste (even though he knew I couldn't eat them quickly, or even immediately) and presented them to me to eat ever-so-slowly (because that's how I've been eating everything for the past 1.5 weeks of feeling almost constantly queasy).
At one point Jess popped out this idea of making some mashed potatoes the way he'd made them the other night. I thought it sounded like something I could eat later, so he made them. I heard him share the info with Karen and she was very pleased because the calories would be very good for me. Did you know, women burn at least 200 calories during every hour of JUST labor (not including walking and other activities)? I was happy to hear she was so pleased, but wondered if I would be able to eat it. RIGHT when Jess brought me the mashed potatoes with a HUGE puddle of butter in them, I felt absolutely famished! I didn't eat them quickly, and I couldn't finish the whole bowl, but they were there right when I needed them. Why a miracle? During the whole last week and a half, if I didn't eat right when I was hungry, I would get really queasy and even go into dry heaves sometimes!! Not a pleasant experience with a huge preggie belly, I have to tell you! So, to me, the mashed potatoes were a huge indication of my husband receiving AND acting on revelation on my behalf! WHAT A BLESSING!!! The miracle of the potatoes is very precious to me! Laugh if you want, but it's HUGE to me!
Then there's the miracle of prayers. If you laugh at this one... I would have to say you might be a little sick because it's not funny. Seriously, it's not meant to be funny at all. Jess has recently begun (within the last 9 month to a year) to pray for our family prayers and such. That development was wonderful and precious to me. Even more recently he has begun to pray formally, which, to me, means using THEEs and THYs to adress Heavenly Father. For me, this a hugely important and is almost equally as precious as Jess praying at all! Well... yesterday my Jessie suggested we pray, offered to say the prayers, and said some of the most beautiful prayers for/over/with me and our baby MULTIPLE TIMES.... I feel all weepy thinking about it because I remember a few years ago just aching that my husband would pray over something with me and he wouldn't. And now he's suggesting we pray AND saying the most sweet, thorough, insightful prayers!!! He is an amazing man and a tremendous blessing to me and our girls!!! So, that's the miracle of prayer that I experience with Jess yesterday. On top of the fact of his prayerfulness, I want to share that each aspect of his requests was granted! Isn't that a bunch of miracles all tied together by the miracle of my husband praying!??!! I'm so grateful, what more can I say!??
Back to Labor Land
I think I finally hit 7cm by around 6pm. 7 is considered entering transition, which, I will add, is also entering in through the gates of hell on earth... whether you do it fast or slow, it's rough going! Unfortunately, transition lasted a FEW hours this time around!!! At least I didn't go through it a FEW TIMES this time as I did with Kat!!! UGH!
Andrea, our midwife's assistant, arrived a little bit before I hit the hard stuff, so I was able to speak with her a little bit. Jess had previously prepared a roast, which was actually uncut Rib Eye steaks! Karen, Jess, and I had already eaten some so Jess served Andrea a steak and some potatoes. Lucky ladies, aren't we?
Transition began shortly thereafter. I can't begin to properly explain that part of labor. It's different for everyone. I got the shakes really baddly at one point. The shakes lasted until I got into the birth tub, which Jess had prepared for me (which required bleaching the hose, filling it with water, as well as boiling water to complete the filling process). The tub helped a lot with pain management during transition, I think, but I wasn't able to birth in it because it was way too hot for me. When I chose to get out, I was 9cm dilated... YEAY! That was probably around 9:55pm-ish. It took, what seemed like forever to me, just a little while (until around 10:20pm) to get almost all the way to 10... I had a front lip that Andrea helped me get rid of during some pushes prior to pushing with all my might (the effort to push a baby out).
Believe it or not, it only took me 16 minutes of pushing like you're trying to get a baby out, to get my baby out! Consider the size of her head when you look at that length of time, if you would, please. Can you say, "She-Ra?" heeheehee ;) I felt and still feel super accomplished about the whole shebang, but, perhaps, especially about that pushing time - considering the baby's head size, especially. One thing that natural childbirth is good for, in my opinion, (perhaps even more the kind of LONG labors I have had) is that it teaches you exactly what you're made of!!! Would I prefer the lesson in another format? Probably... surely... if I could, but it's a tremendously worthwhile lesson, all the same!
My pushing this time was really low again... like when I pushed Ria out. I was actually able to do it WELL, unlike when pushing Kat out. The unfortunate side effect of both good efforts are these strange little red dots all over my face and neck. Broken capillaries or something, I suppose. I think my pushing SO hard with Ria was sort of overkill, in a way (I pushed her out in 13 minutes), but with Kat it was necessary because she was experiencing late decelerations and Karen was really verbally pushing me to work as hard as I could to get the baby out. Understandable under the circumstances: the expected size of the baby (including HUGE head and supposedly more than 11 pounds of baby, according to the ultrasound) added fervor to Karen's commands.
Almost immediately upon actually beginning to push Tea was crowning. WooHOO!!! So Karen called out to Sage that if they wanted to see anything, now was the time. I know they came, but things are very hazy in my memory for that period of time. The one distinct memory I have is of Kat standing in a place that I could actually see her and looking on with wise, wide, eyes and looking very serene and slightly excited. Both girls were completely cool with what they saw. Neither of them freaked out or ran away crying, "Baby go back" (as Ria did when she saw Kat's birth)! I think it was hugely beneficial to have the birth pictures of Kat's birth to share with the girls... it seems that the whole experience was somehow familiar to them as a result. What a blessing! And there can be no question in their minds that this new little person belongs in our family because they've seen exactly how she entered it! ^_^ One of the multitude of blessings I call HOMEBIRTH!
Another believe it or not for ya... While Tea's head is 15.75 inches around and I did tear, only TWO sutures were required to patch me up. No crazy rippage. No rip through the bum. No longer-term healing required! What a blessing!! And Karen was very impressed with my healthy perennial tissues. Happy to know it, aren't ya!? ;)
Jessie Continues to Blow Me Away
After the birth I sat with the baby and tried to stop shaking. Almost immediately Jessie resumed his physical DOing by breaking down the birth tub. Then he ended up with this huge mess in our laundry room because our washing machine totally flooded it... it's slightly temperamental! He said goodbye to everyone as a good host. He made some phone calls to share the news (only our parents because it was around 2am by then!). By then he still was pretty wound up, so he couldn't go to sleep (plus he'd not had any cigs all day because I couldn't tolerate the smell or his absence from me for that long, so he had to get his fix).
Today, he got up with Ria and Kat and occupied them quietly while Tea and I slept until somewhere around noon. I'd like to note that Jess got to sleep by 3am-ish, while I couldn't sleep until sometime after 5am because Tea stuck true to her uterine schedule of GREAT activity from about 2am until sometime right around 5am! So, although I did get more sleep, it wasn't by as much as if I'd been able to sleep when he did. And of course, it wasn't solid sleep anyway, because Tea nursed regularly through the time we were "sleeping". But what a service that my husband willingly took over with our elder daughters!
Upon waking, he presented breakfast, made sure I had water, took care of Tea so I could use the bathroom (still a long drawn out process as a result of the muscle pain and lochia), got me more to eat because I was still REALLY hungry and welcomed our first visitors (Mary Kat and Tim... Remember they live in our town. They served us tremendously on Saturday night by walking our girls around to trick or treat at the Trunk or Treat Ward Social so that Sage could spend the time with her own children!! Such sweet consideration! And Ria and Kat just love BOTH of them!!)! Soon after Tim and Mary Kay departed Judy, one of my visiting teachers, arrived and visited for a short bit. Leslie is out of town, otherwise I know she would have come by as well because they are both AMAZING, thoughtful, concerned, and loving friends and visiting teachers! That ended our visitors for the day, sort of. Mary Kay and Tim came by again to bring us dinner!! I heard them and was totally up and about for many hours by then, so came out wearing Tea in my sling when I heard, as I approached, Mary Kay asking Jess how I was doing. She was VERY surprised to see me walking around and looking so much better! :) One of the HUGE benefits of natural childbirth: REALLY fast recovery time, usually! Jess was the main host during all of these exchanges.
He also dealt with the girls, for the most part, most of the night. No easy task with the large and small revolts they each conducted once Tea and I were actively on the scene. Ria was definitely having a more difficult time, but I think that's more because she had less sleep than because she's actually going to have the most difficult time overall. Honestly, I really believe they are going to adjust beautfiully to having a new sister. The both adore her already. They want to hold her ALL the time... and when they have her, no amount of time, thus far, has been long enough! And, just as a frame of reference, Kat has held her for more than 5 minutes at a go!!!! No, SERIOUSLY! Amazing, right?
Tea Nurses
Oh... and just a note on this "little" nursling. The first time I offered her the nipple she seemed uninterested because she didn't op her mouth when I put it above her upper lip. So I was trying to figure out what to do, the nipple was right next to her mouth, when what to my wondering eyes should transpire, but a little fist pushed and FLIP... there goes the nippy right into a ready mouth. And she began, immediately, to suckle like a TOTAL pro! And, although that feat of fist gymnastics has not been repeated, she has nursed strongly every since. I'm so thankful! The problems I encountered with Ria and Kat caused me to wonder (when they were brand new to the world) if I could or even should breastfeed them! Imagine that... especially if you know that Ria nursed until she was just older than TWO (when I went dry from my pregnancy with Kat) and Kat nursed until she was 19 months old (which is when I went dry from Tea's pregnancy)!
I, personally, think every new mother (and each time you have another child you're new at it with that child!) doubts their abilities as a mother in just about every way imaginable. Don't you!?
Sage's Continued Blessings Upon Our Family
I honestly don't know when it transpired, or how, but somehow Sage was preparing to depart with a list of things to purchase for us. Karen required us to get a thermometer (because the one we had was caput) and some Motrin by today (Sunday). As far as I'd understood, Jess was going to go out to get those things. But Sage was leaving to do it? Well, she did. But she didn't return with the list. She returned with the list, plus an extra thermometer (just in case), a "baby's first present" (which was actually a huge pink bag that contained outfits, hats, a doll, diapers, and wipes!), and a balloon to hang on the mailbox announcing our new arrival!! Can you blieve her sweet service and huge generosity!? I feel that I haven't done (nor could ever do, really!) anything in my life to deserve such marvelous and sweet thoughtfulness!
Phone Calls
I finally called my Mom around 5pm-ish Sunday evening after leaving messages on my two brothers phones. I have to say today has been a rather wearing/draining/exhausting day. If I haven't called you yet, it's not for lack of desire or effort, but I haven't been able to call all that many people yet. I hope you will know that I don't mean any offense by not calling! And that, in fact, I'm not really sure WHO I should call beyond my family and those who've left messages recently (and I've not even called all of them back yet!). So, if you want to chat about the whole thing, please feel free to call me!
A Sneak Peak
This is a shot of Tea, held by Karen, during the newborn exam. Do you see that mane of hair? Also, just as a note, Tea was rooting NOT crying. She cried, briefly, immediately after birth and once right after waking up (a bad dream, I think) and once because of some really uncomfy bubbles in her belly, but has not cried other than those instances to this point! SWEET baby!!!
(Actually finished writing this at 12:18am on Monday.)
THANK YOU so much for thinking about us, worrying about us, and praying for us. I KNOW that your thoughts and prayers have helped and even sustained us (me!). I went from extremely depressed and totally giving up on myself on Tuesday (after the ultrasound and subsequent talk with Karen), to peaceful, hopeful, and assured by Thursday morning when I went into labor (again) naturally.
Just so you don't have to read the whole labor story if you don't want to, I'll share with you our daughter's birth stats right away. The labor story will be told completely for my own record as well as to share with the you (as you're interested) the wonderful tale. ^_^
Our Daughter's Stats
Our little girl was born at 10:36pm.
Her name is Theresa Diane Gollihugh. We are calling her Tea (pronounced like Ria). ^_^
She is 21 and 3/4 inches long.
Her head is 15 and 3/4 inches around AND my midwife never felt sutures (which form when the bones of the skull overlap as they are made to do). That means that Tea's head wasn't much smaller than normal through the birth canal, though it probably closed over the fontanels during the trip through the canal... her head was totally round as soon as she was out!
She weighed in at 10 pounds 4 ounces, which is more than 12 ounces less than the ultrasound predicted!!!! Darn ultrasounds... and if you know me, I'm sure you can imagine I would like to add some stronger language, but am trying to be Christlike!
Comparison Reference Info you may find interesting to think about as you read THE STORY
Just for comparison/reference purposes, Ria was 8 poounds 4 ounces and Kat was 9 pounds 8 ounces. I pushed Ria out in 13 minutes while it took about 45 minutes to get Kat out. Labor with Ria was 21.5 hours from the very first to the delivery. With Kat it was right at 48 hours, with a few hours break during the first night, during which time I was able to sleep. With both of my first two labors I didn't eat much at all, IF at all from the time I started labor until the end. I vomited with both of them. I wasn't able to drink much water because it made me feel queasy even more... Very exhausting to not drink or eat!!
THE LABOR STORY and it IS long... just warning ya!
Because I'd had so many "false starts" with labor, and we'd already had a plan to see Karen on Thursday about some natural inductions, we did go to her office for 1:30pm on Thursday afternoon. Natural labor did stall after I started the homeopathics, but I was 4cm so it started back up quite easily with the remedy Karen gave me. Though I was in labor, it wasn't terribly taxing, so I don't count Thursday as a day or labor, really, because I don't think the labor produced much effect at that point. That night I didn't sleep much because I woke up regularly to pee and decided to keep taking the homeopathic remedy through the night in hopes of helping labor along more quickly.
Friday was a lot more active, but still not taxing the way heavy labor is. I know there was some effective work done on Friday, but not a huge amount. That night Jess worked at the club for a few hours, which was quite stressful for me... but we made it through. We had a "date night" and watched Cruso (not sure about the spelling, but it's a new show on Prime Time, though we watched it online) because we figured it would be the last chance to do so without a babe in arms. We both slept about 3 good hours.
Saturday morning I dreamed of experiencing contractions and having full-on labor and awakened at 5am to some! I timed them and felt assurance that this was the day. The contractions were lasting about 1.5 minutes with 4 minutes from start of one to start of another, which was awesome to me because that's when Karen told us to call her to come out to us. I was hopeful that this would be a faster labor than either of my first two, so called her with the info after I'd had the contractions going for an hour that I was aware of. She lives in DeLand, which is about an hour away, so she arrived around 7:15am. Everything was good when she arrived. I was dilated to a 4 or 5 on the outside part of the cervix, but the inside was only ONE centimeter and the baby was still very high! I was bummed, but figured things could go quickly since she could actually feel the inside part of the cervix (she'd not been able to previously).
I'd called my dear friend Sage soon after I spoke to Karen. Sage had offered to help me with my girls during the labor, many months ago. I was a naked birther for my first two labors and deliveries, so I'd been really troubling over who I could feel comfy asking to attend to my oldest daughters while I was labor. I wanted me children to be present to witness the birth (as Ria did Kat's). It would have to be someone I could feel comfy looking at after she'd seen me in all my naked "glory." She would have to be someone I could feel trust in the idea that she would not represent me unkindly to others afterward.
After just the first Sunday of seeing Sage and observing her with her children, I knew I wanted to know her and, hopefully, be friends with her... I was blessed tremendously to have the opportunity to forge a wonderful friendship with her as our daughters (both Victorias!) played together for Joy School. When she made the offer to take care of my daughters during my labor, I felt this HUGE surge of joy and thanksgiving and almost immediately accepted her offer. My delayed acceptance was due to my concern over the fact that she might have a difficult time leaving her baby (who is 20 months old now and still a nursling, which, if you know me, I TOTALLY love and aprrove of and think VERY highly of!!).
While talking to Sage there was some concern over her schedule for the day and some illness in her family recently and, basically, the conversation ended and I was going to call my visiting teacher (who I also felt comfy with because she's VERY beliving in natural living and so-forth). I didn't call Judy, my visiting teacher, right away because she lives closer to where we are and I knew it wouldn't take her as long to get to us. Before I made the call to Judy, Sage called me back and let me know that if I still wanted her, she could come out to us. YEAY! Of course I still wanted her!!! No matter how much I may love any of my friends (and Judy is definitely one!) a first choice is still a first choice, ya know! :)
Sage arrived around 8:30am (I think... my time reference could be a bit off through much of this story... it's approximates). When she came in, we were blown away because she was carrying at least 4 grocery bags and 2 Burger King bags! She relayed the idea that she just wanted to try to make the waiting special for the girls and had brought treats to help to that end. And boy, did she bring treats! She brought Mama/baby of almost everything. A huge box of goldfish, indivudual bags of goldfish; regular bananas, tiny bananas; muffins; and large juice boxes & small juice boxes! Burger King was breakfast for the Gollihughs! She also brought a box full of breakfast sausages to keep in the freezer, crustables, and a bowl of prepared fruit! Isn't that amazing? We felt overwhelmed and tremendously appreciative... touched and deeply grateful for her compassion, thoughtfulness, generosity, and love!
Ria was awake already and Kat awakened very soon after Sage arrived. Sage took over with the girls right away and kept the girls away from me during contractions, which were pretty intense already at that point, though still around 4-5 minutes apart. Sage did reading class with Ria and the three of them headed off to watch a movie.
It was around 10:30am that Karen checked me again to discover that I'd gone from a 1cm to 4/5cm on the inner cervix! YEAY!
Jess and I went for a walk to the beach so I could climb the stairs in hopes of helping the baby descend. Her head was above a 0, which is not such a good thing because it takes longer for the cervix to develop without the pressure of the head on it. We also completed a walk around our block. Although the exertion was minimal, I was sweating profusely and felt a bit tired when we arrived home. I took a shower.
By around 11:30am, soon after my shower, the contractions were petering out and I was feeling REALLY tired. :( I felt like I really needed a nap and conveyed that idea to Karen, who suggested that I could consider the idea of asking Sage to take our girls to her house so I could have some quiet time to nap and Sage could get to and attend to Mary. Sage had previously expressed some concern over being away from Mary too long, which was totally understandable to me. Sage was happy to oblige and BOTH of my daughters headed away from me with my dear friend. I'm not absolutely sure... there may have been another time that Sage took both of them, but if she did, it was for only a couple hours. I know Sage has taken Ria a couple times, but I'm pretty sure this was the first time Ria AND Kat left me. It really was a huge blessing. (I labored through the night with Kat, so Ria wasn't distracting or anything for the majority of that experience.)
I did head off for a nap (Jess, too, of course). Contractions completely stopped. (Had I been in hospital for this sort of thing, this would have been labeled "failure to progress" and I would have been put on pitocin!) I was able to actually SLEEP for about an hour, which was a deep, real, energizing, and renewing sleep (unlike a few other nights this past week!).
I awakened to realize that the contractions had truly stopped and felt sad, frustrated, and depressed. I was praying and crying over it when Karen returned. She'd taken the time for a break as well (as she should!). I began nipple stimulation almost immediately and contractions started soon thereafter. Karen again started me on the homeopathics and labor was well on it's way again within an hour.
After the nap (can't remember how soon) I was up to 6cm dilated and 90% effaced, which is totally good, but not as far along as I'd hoped, of course. (I, obviously, still need to work on my patience... I think that's one very possible HUGE lesson my long labors are meant to help me with, don't you?)
Another few hours and I was 7cm.
Another couple hours and I was feeling really weepy over the duration of everything. I do want to add, just because it's a HUGE differnce in this labor from the others, that I'd been drinking lots of water AND eating bit by bit here and there through the whole day! I felt queasy a few times, but after burping I was totally cool. No barfy-butt stuff!!
It was after around 5+ hours from the time that Ria and Kat left that I began to feel this surging sadness over being away from my girls for so long... I missed them TONS!!! I wanted to hold them in between contractions, but I knew I would get frustrated over the distraction of them during contractions. AND to make things even more upsetting, frustrating, and depressing for me, I'd hoped we would have the baby in time for Jess to take the girls to our Ward's Trunk or Treat party (6:30pm last night). Sage took them and they had a BLAST! Sage also took our girls to the McDonald's and a grocery store, at some point during their day together. Ria told me they had some food (MikkyD's), ice cream treats, and soda (all of which are HUGE and rare treats for both our girls, but were facts shared with great joy, secrecy, and almost reverence by Ria to me! ^_^). Sage had conveyed her desire to make the day special for Ria and Kat... and BOY did she do a BANG-UP job!!!! :) I think that Sage is a most precious angel-friend!!! I'm so grateful for ALL the angels in our lives... know that, if you were praying for us and/or wishing us well, YOU are among the angels who have blessed us!!!
If you haven't experienced labor, you may think I'm nuts...but in labor MANY women experience the full range of human emotion. I'm DEFINITELY one of those... perhaps to the extreme. Even worse, because I have a difficult time removing my mind from the experience, I go through a full-range of thoughts on the situation, what I should do, how I should do it, what the baby is doing, how I can influence it... I could go on and on AND on! It's detrimental in many ways, but I know I'm not the only one like me. Anyway... that's just a little rant about myself and something I feel I need to change. :)
A Bit About Jess
I've not written much about Jess because I'm going to ask him to write the birth story from HIS perspective and share it in my blog, for you to read! I think he'll do it since he asked for my password last night 'cause he was planning to share some info himself! HA!!! I wasn't having that since this is MY "world". But his perspective is very different (obviously) and I would like to see it more clearly myself! ^_^ So, I'm not going to write what I think he was going through and such, but I do want to share that my sweet husband has COMPLETELY changed from our first birth experience to this one. When we had Ria... it was and should have been truly described as TORI went into labor and birthed Ria. (As opposed to the common description young lovers use of "our" for everything, including labor and delivry.) Jess was present for the whole thing in body, but he didn't DO anything beyond stand near me and pet me, which I fussed at him to stop regularly. I'm VERY easily overstimulated during heavy labor and much of any touching is very difficult for me/on my skin. Weird? True, though! The problem with Jessie's lack of DOing, for me, was that we'd regularly attended birth class together AND practiced partner led relaxation techniques and then he didn't do ANY of the things we'd learned or practiced! I was so bummed about it, felt WAY let down, and (yes, unreasonably) MAD about it for a LONG while afterward.
With Kat I knew, as a result of the experience of Ria's birth, that I had to tell Jess exactly what I needed. I did and it was all right. I was still sad that he wasn't as attentive as I wanted... he slept a LOT during the whole process!!! THIS time, though... OH MY GOODNESS!!! Can you say, "A changed man!??" Well, if you think you can, DO... because THAT is what I experienced! I feel all teary-eyed and full of gratitude and thanksgiving over the man who attended me as I worked to bring our child into the world!!!
Truly the process of labor to bring Tea into this world was a joint partnership between my Jessie and me! While I labored in a less mobile, less "doing" way, Jess was ever present, working in our home to prepare things, clean things, keep things moving and as everything progressed he sat with me (reading a book to stay awake during the less intense hours) and he held my hand tightly (which is the best and almost only physical touch I can tolerate during contractions) when I needed him. There were times when he wasn't right next to me and a contraction would start and then he was there and I knew that he knew I needed him. MANY fewer times (this go round) did I have a need to call out to him because he was already THERE for me!!! He was awake (physically, mentally, and emotionally) through the WHOLE thing (except for our nap time, of course) and he was present and attentive to me AND DOING anything he could for me! I feel such thanksgiving and gratitude for the partner he is for me!!!!
STILL ABOUT JESSIE
The miracles of prayer and potatoes
I experienced two things that I do not lightly name miracles during this experience of labor WE went through together, my Jessie and me. You can laugh all you want, but the first I'll share is about potatoes. Jess fed me as much as he could yesterday. He regularly suggested things and prepared them in due haste (even though he knew I couldn't eat them quickly, or even immediately) and presented them to me to eat ever-so-slowly (because that's how I've been eating everything for the past 1.5 weeks of feeling almost constantly queasy).
At one point Jess popped out this idea of making some mashed potatoes the way he'd made them the other night. I thought it sounded like something I could eat later, so he made them. I heard him share the info with Karen and she was very pleased because the calories would be very good for me. Did you know, women burn at least 200 calories during every hour of JUST labor (not including walking and other activities)? I was happy to hear she was so pleased, but wondered if I would be able to eat it. RIGHT when Jess brought me the mashed potatoes with a HUGE puddle of butter in them, I felt absolutely famished! I didn't eat them quickly, and I couldn't finish the whole bowl, but they were there right when I needed them. Why a miracle? During the whole last week and a half, if I didn't eat right when I was hungry, I would get really queasy and even go into dry heaves sometimes!! Not a pleasant experience with a huge preggie belly, I have to tell you! So, to me, the mashed potatoes were a huge indication of my husband receiving AND acting on revelation on my behalf! WHAT A BLESSING!!! The miracle of the potatoes is very precious to me! Laugh if you want, but it's HUGE to me!
Then there's the miracle of prayers. If you laugh at this one... I would have to say you might be a little sick because it's not funny. Seriously, it's not meant to be funny at all. Jess has recently begun (within the last 9 month to a year) to pray for our family prayers and such. That development was wonderful and precious to me. Even more recently he has begun to pray formally, which, to me, means using THEEs and THYs to adress Heavenly Father. For me, this a hugely important and is almost equally as precious as Jess praying at all! Well... yesterday my Jessie suggested we pray, offered to say the prayers, and said some of the most beautiful prayers for/over/with me and our baby MULTIPLE TIMES.... I feel all weepy thinking about it because I remember a few years ago just aching that my husband would pray over something with me and he wouldn't. And now he's suggesting we pray AND saying the most sweet, thorough, insightful prayers!!! He is an amazing man and a tremendous blessing to me and our girls!!! So, that's the miracle of prayer that I experience with Jess yesterday. On top of the fact of his prayerfulness, I want to share that each aspect of his requests was granted! Isn't that a bunch of miracles all tied together by the miracle of my husband praying!??!! I'm so grateful, what more can I say!??
Back to Labor Land
I think I finally hit 7cm by around 6pm. 7 is considered entering transition, which, I will add, is also entering in through the gates of hell on earth... whether you do it fast or slow, it's rough going! Unfortunately, transition lasted a FEW hours this time around!!! At least I didn't go through it a FEW TIMES this time as I did with Kat!!! UGH!
Andrea, our midwife's assistant, arrived a little bit before I hit the hard stuff, so I was able to speak with her a little bit. Jess had previously prepared a roast, which was actually uncut Rib Eye steaks! Karen, Jess, and I had already eaten some so Jess served Andrea a steak and some potatoes. Lucky ladies, aren't we?
Transition began shortly thereafter. I can't begin to properly explain that part of labor. It's different for everyone. I got the shakes really baddly at one point. The shakes lasted until I got into the birth tub, which Jess had prepared for me (which required bleaching the hose, filling it with water, as well as boiling water to complete the filling process). The tub helped a lot with pain management during transition, I think, but I wasn't able to birth in it because it was way too hot for me. When I chose to get out, I was 9cm dilated... YEAY! That was probably around 9:55pm-ish. It took, what seemed like forever to me, just a little while (until around 10:20pm) to get almost all the way to 10... I had a front lip that Andrea helped me get rid of during some pushes prior to pushing with all my might (the effort to push a baby out).
Believe it or not, it only took me 16 minutes of pushing like you're trying to get a baby out, to get my baby out! Consider the size of her head when you look at that length of time, if you would, please. Can you say, "She-Ra?" heeheehee ;) I felt and still feel super accomplished about the whole shebang, but, perhaps, especially about that pushing time - considering the baby's head size, especially. One thing that natural childbirth is good for, in my opinion, (perhaps even more the kind of LONG labors I have had) is that it teaches you exactly what you're made of!!! Would I prefer the lesson in another format? Probably... surely... if I could, but it's a tremendously worthwhile lesson, all the same!
My pushing this time was really low again... like when I pushed Ria out. I was actually able to do it WELL, unlike when pushing Kat out. The unfortunate side effect of both good efforts are these strange little red dots all over my face and neck. Broken capillaries or something, I suppose. I think my pushing SO hard with Ria was sort of overkill, in a way (I pushed her out in 13 minutes), but with Kat it was necessary because she was experiencing late decelerations and Karen was really verbally pushing me to work as hard as I could to get the baby out. Understandable under the circumstances: the expected size of the baby (including HUGE head and supposedly more than 11 pounds of baby, according to the ultrasound) added fervor to Karen's commands.
Almost immediately upon actually beginning to push Tea was crowning. WooHOO!!! So Karen called out to Sage that if they wanted to see anything, now was the time. I know they came, but things are very hazy in my memory for that period of time. The one distinct memory I have is of Kat standing in a place that I could actually see her and looking on with wise, wide, eyes and looking very serene and slightly excited. Both girls were completely cool with what they saw. Neither of them freaked out or ran away crying, "Baby go back" (as Ria did when she saw Kat's birth)! I think it was hugely beneficial to have the birth pictures of Kat's birth to share with the girls... it seems that the whole experience was somehow familiar to them as a result. What a blessing! And there can be no question in their minds that this new little person belongs in our family because they've seen exactly how she entered it! ^_^ One of the multitude of blessings I call HOMEBIRTH!
Another believe it or not for ya... While Tea's head is 15.75 inches around and I did tear, only TWO sutures were required to patch me up. No crazy rippage. No rip through the bum. No longer-term healing required! What a blessing!! And Karen was very impressed with my healthy perennial tissues. Happy to know it, aren't ya!? ;)
Jessie Continues to Blow Me Away
After the birth I sat with the baby and tried to stop shaking. Almost immediately Jessie resumed his physical DOing by breaking down the birth tub. Then he ended up with this huge mess in our laundry room because our washing machine totally flooded it... it's slightly temperamental! He said goodbye to everyone as a good host. He made some phone calls to share the news (only our parents because it was around 2am by then!). By then he still was pretty wound up, so he couldn't go to sleep (plus he'd not had any cigs all day because I couldn't tolerate the smell or his absence from me for that long, so he had to get his fix).
Today, he got up with Ria and Kat and occupied them quietly while Tea and I slept until somewhere around noon. I'd like to note that Jess got to sleep by 3am-ish, while I couldn't sleep until sometime after 5am because Tea stuck true to her uterine schedule of GREAT activity from about 2am until sometime right around 5am! So, although I did get more sleep, it wasn't by as much as if I'd been able to sleep when he did. And of course, it wasn't solid sleep anyway, because Tea nursed regularly through the time we were "sleeping". But what a service that my husband willingly took over with our elder daughters!
Upon waking, he presented breakfast, made sure I had water, took care of Tea so I could use the bathroom (still a long drawn out process as a result of the muscle pain and lochia), got me more to eat because I was still REALLY hungry and welcomed our first visitors (Mary Kat and Tim... Remember they live in our town. They served us tremendously on Saturday night by walking our girls around to trick or treat at the Trunk or Treat Ward Social so that Sage could spend the time with her own children!! Such sweet consideration! And Ria and Kat just love BOTH of them!!)! Soon after Tim and Mary Kay departed Judy, one of my visiting teachers, arrived and visited for a short bit. Leslie is out of town, otherwise I know she would have come by as well because they are both AMAZING, thoughtful, concerned, and loving friends and visiting teachers! That ended our visitors for the day, sort of. Mary Kay and Tim came by again to bring us dinner!! I heard them and was totally up and about for many hours by then, so came out wearing Tea in my sling when I heard, as I approached, Mary Kay asking Jess how I was doing. She was VERY surprised to see me walking around and looking so much better! :) One of the HUGE benefits of natural childbirth: REALLY fast recovery time, usually! Jess was the main host during all of these exchanges.
He also dealt with the girls, for the most part, most of the night. No easy task with the large and small revolts they each conducted once Tea and I were actively on the scene. Ria was definitely having a more difficult time, but I think that's more because she had less sleep than because she's actually going to have the most difficult time overall. Honestly, I really believe they are going to adjust beautfiully to having a new sister. The both adore her already. They want to hold her ALL the time... and when they have her, no amount of time, thus far, has been long enough! And, just as a frame of reference, Kat has held her for more than 5 minutes at a go!!!! No, SERIOUSLY! Amazing, right?
Tea Nurses
Oh... and just a note on this "little" nursling. The first time I offered her the nipple she seemed uninterested because she didn't op her mouth when I put it above her upper lip. So I was trying to figure out what to do, the nipple was right next to her mouth, when what to my wondering eyes should transpire, but a little fist pushed and FLIP... there goes the nippy right into a ready mouth. And she began, immediately, to suckle like a TOTAL pro! And, although that feat of fist gymnastics has not been repeated, she has nursed strongly every since. I'm so thankful! The problems I encountered with Ria and Kat caused me to wonder (when they were brand new to the world) if I could or even should breastfeed them! Imagine that... especially if you know that Ria nursed until she was just older than TWO (when I went dry from my pregnancy with Kat) and Kat nursed until she was 19 months old (which is when I went dry from Tea's pregnancy)!
I, personally, think every new mother (and each time you have another child you're new at it with that child!) doubts their abilities as a mother in just about every way imaginable. Don't you!?
Sage's Continued Blessings Upon Our Family
I honestly don't know when it transpired, or how, but somehow Sage was preparing to depart with a list of things to purchase for us. Karen required us to get a thermometer (because the one we had was caput) and some Motrin by today (Sunday). As far as I'd understood, Jess was going to go out to get those things. But Sage was leaving to do it? Well, she did. But she didn't return with the list. She returned with the list, plus an extra thermometer (just in case), a "baby's first present" (which was actually a huge pink bag that contained outfits, hats, a doll, diapers, and wipes!), and a balloon to hang on the mailbox announcing our new arrival!! Can you blieve her sweet service and huge generosity!? I feel that I haven't done (nor could ever do, really!) anything in my life to deserve such marvelous and sweet thoughtfulness!
Phone Calls
I finally called my Mom around 5pm-ish Sunday evening after leaving messages on my two brothers phones. I have to say today has been a rather wearing/draining/exhausting day. If I haven't called you yet, it's not for lack of desire or effort, but I haven't been able to call all that many people yet. I hope you will know that I don't mean any offense by not calling! And that, in fact, I'm not really sure WHO I should call beyond my family and those who've left messages recently (and I've not even called all of them back yet!). So, if you want to chat about the whole thing, please feel free to call me!
A Sneak Peak
This is a shot of Tea, held by Karen, during the newborn exam. Do you see that mane of hair? Also, just as a note, Tea was rooting NOT crying. She cried, briefly, immediately after birth and once right after waking up (a bad dream, I think) and once because of some really uncomfy bubbles in her belly, but has not cried other than those instances to this point! SWEET baby!!!
(Actually finished writing this at 12:18am on Monday.)
Friday, October 24, 2008
We have...
labor. Just labor, but... YEAY, LABOR! It's not super intense yet and it's not progressing quickly, thus far, but it's doin' something, which is good. It started, probably, before I woke up at 9:30am yesterday (Thursday), but I knew it when I woke up. I wasn't sure it would keep going... and it hasn't been intensifying much, but it's not completely disappeared either, which it has so many times in the past.
We went to my midwife's office yesterday to get EPO suppositories and some homeopathic stuff (all of which helped things along with Kat) and Karen checked on things. At that time, around 1:40pm yesterday, I was 4cm dilated, 60% effaced, mushy cervix, and the baby's head was lower than it had been before, which is quite good for effecting change on the inner part of the cervix. I was really hoping to have the baby by now, but that's not the reality, obviously. I can only hope and wish that some day I'll have a baby in less than 24 hours... Ria was 21.5 hours and I thought I had a long thing going there. Kat was 2 days... and pretty similar to this one. Perhaps that's my norm, eh? I pray that it will be shorter this time around. Please pray with me, for the same, if you feel impressed and desireous of so doing.
If you feel so inclined, please pray for the best outcome for us. A good outcome is healthy Mama and baby, which is totally acceptable and wonderful and I'm at peace with transferring to a hospital if it's the Lord's will. Thus far, each time I've prayed about it (and there was a time I gave up on myself a couple days ago and was just sure we should go to a hospital!) the answer was a definite "NO" on going to the hospital. So, please know that I am being smart and my priority is to have a healthy new family (including and, at this time, especially, baby and me). The best outcome, which I've asked for prayers for, is that those parts of a good outcome will come to pass at home! :) I desperately want to have my girls immediately present to meet their new sibling and for us to begin the process, immediately, of becoming a new family - increased by one.
The ultrasound on Tuesday morning said/suggested that the baby's due date was October 18, rather than the 9th. It suggested many other things that were troubling, but not cause for overmuch concern. I'm sure I'll share that information at a later time, but for now I just can't dwell on that stuff.
Thank you, in advance, for your thoughts and prayers for us. We are very grateful and also staying prayerful and hopeful for our part. :)
We went to my midwife's office yesterday to get EPO suppositories and some homeopathic stuff (all of which helped things along with Kat) and Karen checked on things. At that time, around 1:40pm yesterday, I was 4cm dilated, 60% effaced, mushy cervix, and the baby's head was lower than it had been before, which is quite good for effecting change on the inner part of the cervix. I was really hoping to have the baby by now, but that's not the reality, obviously. I can only hope and wish that some day I'll have a baby in less than 24 hours... Ria was 21.5 hours and I thought I had a long thing going there. Kat was 2 days... and pretty similar to this one. Perhaps that's my norm, eh? I pray that it will be shorter this time around. Please pray with me, for the same, if you feel impressed and desireous of so doing.
If you feel so inclined, please pray for the best outcome for us. A good outcome is healthy Mama and baby, which is totally acceptable and wonderful and I'm at peace with transferring to a hospital if it's the Lord's will. Thus far, each time I've prayed about it (and there was a time I gave up on myself a couple days ago and was just sure we should go to a hospital!) the answer was a definite "NO" on going to the hospital. So, please know that I am being smart and my priority is to have a healthy new family (including and, at this time, especially, baby and me). The best outcome, which I've asked for prayers for, is that those parts of a good outcome will come to pass at home! :) I desperately want to have my girls immediately present to meet their new sibling and for us to begin the process, immediately, of becoming a new family - increased by one.
The ultrasound on Tuesday morning said/suggested that the baby's due date was October 18, rather than the 9th. It suggested many other things that were troubling, but not cause for overmuch concern. I'm sure I'll share that information at a later time, but for now I just can't dwell on that stuff.
Thank you, in advance, for your thoughts and prayers for us. We are very grateful and also staying prayerful and hopeful for our part. :)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Jessie's Accused and An Emotional Rollercoaster
I forgot to mention the thing that happened with Jess yesterday. He hitched a ride with a couple who live a few blocks away to go clean the church yesterday morning. On the way the three of them talked a bit. It came out, in process of conversation, that Jess wasn't a member of the church. They were both surprised and they discussed that a little bit. Jess even shared with them the "Closer" experiences he's had with a few missionaries. The funniest bit of all of it, for me, was Jessie's description of it. When he first started telling me he had the strangest smile on his face. The kind he usually has when he's going to tell me something I'll think is hilarious. So, before he was even telling me about the conversation I was smiling. But it wasn't a hilarious story, to me. It just makes sense. I mean, like the couple said, Jess just does all the things Members DO! I think, in a way, he might think it's kinda cool that people think he's a member, but that it also amuses him. As he explained it to the couple, he attends church and does all that "stuff" because he wants to be a part of the way he and I have agreed to raise our children. What's not to be thankful in that, right!? So... yesterday Jessie was "accused" of being a member. I chose that word to describe it because it seemed to fit the sort of humor he found in the "accusation." ^_^ I think it's wonderful, for the most part, that people think he is a member!
My Ride on the Rollercoaster
Last night I started having some FIERCE cramping and back pain. It all started on my walk and only the Braxton Hicks subsided after we got home and I was able to sit a bit. The light menstrual cramp-type feeling (that always proceeds active labor for me) became more intense... to the point that I had to quit ChaChaING for the night to lie down, drink lots of water, and hope they went away.
They didn't.
The cramping and pain subsided enough for me to get sleep for most of the night, but it wasn't completely restful and I was trying to drink a bunch to stay hydrated (cause the more water in the system the less cramping a system will experience), so I was, of course, up a lot to use the potty.
Last night Jess TOLD ME that I would be staying home from church in the morning. If you know me, then you know I'm not one to take "being told" very well. I had a plan all figured out for how I was going to get him to let me go to church in the morning because I was certain the cramps would be gone.
They weren't.
I didn't even mention my plan for going to church because my back hurt so bad (like back labor!) that I was anxious to lie down and take it easy and drink lots of water!
Jess left with the girls for church on time (8:30am) so that he could deliver my Primary folders. I tried to lie down and rest. I didn't get to rest at all, really, because I was up every 10 minutes or so to use the potty and it wasn't to get rid of water! I started to feel a little worried after the 4th or 5th trip in such a short period of time (about an hour). This is the sort of thing my body does when in labor! I was so scared. I actually started to think about calling my midwife. If you know me well, which few people know me THIS well, you will know that I do NOT call my midwife for much of anything! I might write her an email, but I RARELY call! Poor Karen has received, now, 2 calls within 2 weeks from me and BOTH on Sundays!!! :p How annoying!
Well, I started to feel jittery a short time later and decided that I did, indeed, need to call my midwife. We spoke briefly and she said she's be over to check me. I felt a bit of relief when we hung up and called Jess to let him know what I was doing. It was right around 9:30am (right in the middle of Sacrament Meeting!). I also asked him to be prepared, should I call again, to speak to Joey and Tim about coming to give me a blessing before he left. I didn't think I would actually call him again.
I was wrong.
At 9:51am I threw up a TON! I was actually violently ill when I was preggie with Kathryn, but as I recall I was not as far along in the pregnancy with her as I am with this one. Also, the illness I experienced way back then did not have all the same signs as the beginning of labor. When I was sick with Kat I was SICK! I had a fever, diarrhea, the works!
As you can probably imagine, I called Jess right away. I was super scared by that point and needed my rock and better half to be right here next to me. He came home REALLY fast. I know HE knows how really unusual it is for me to barf... unless I'm in labor and then it just sort of happens. He was totally solid for me. He kept telling me that he knew it was going to be all right. He doesn't always say that, so when he says it I believe it.
He did speak to Joey before he left church. Shortly after Jess got home, Joey and Tim arrived. They gave me a blessing for wellness and comfort. I did feel comforted and before they left my belly had stopped cramping so much. My back remained (and remains) achy, but I haven't thrown up again. I thought I was going to lose it (anything in my tummy) again right before they pulled up.
Karen arrived a little bit after Joey and Tim departed. She checked me and everything is GOOD... except that the baby is breech. *ah well* Can't win 'em all, right? ^_^ I'm actually not worried about the breech bit at all because this baby rolls and turns SO much more than either of my girls did. I've felt hiccups (usually) in the lower right of my belly, but also in the upper right and left! So, I know this isn't a stationary babe. And it's probably a bit flustered by all the crazy stuff going on around it... cause I KNOW baby felt some of those cramps!
So, whether I was getting ill with some sort of barf bug, or going into labor, the crisis was averted by two faithful Brethren and some Faith! I'm so grateful! Seriously... it was NO walk in the park to barf every hour when preggie (with Kathryn) and I seriously do NOT want to walk that road again! So today will be even more "lazily" than normal a day of REST for Tori! I'm so not wanting to push the whole "what if" button!!!
That's my drama for now. Hope your Sabbath day is more peaceful!
My Ride on the Rollercoaster
Last night I started having some FIERCE cramping and back pain. It all started on my walk and only the Braxton Hicks subsided after we got home and I was able to sit a bit. The light menstrual cramp-type feeling (that always proceeds active labor for me) became more intense... to the point that I had to quit ChaChaING for the night to lie down, drink lots of water, and hope they went away.
They didn't.
The cramping and pain subsided enough for me to get sleep for most of the night, but it wasn't completely restful and I was trying to drink a bunch to stay hydrated (cause the more water in the system the less cramping a system will experience), so I was, of course, up a lot to use the potty.
Last night Jess TOLD ME that I would be staying home from church in the morning. If you know me, then you know I'm not one to take "being told" very well. I had a plan all figured out for how I was going to get him to let me go to church in the morning because I was certain the cramps would be gone.
They weren't.
I didn't even mention my plan for going to church because my back hurt so bad (like back labor!) that I was anxious to lie down and take it easy and drink lots of water!
Jess left with the girls for church on time (8:30am) so that he could deliver my Primary folders. I tried to lie down and rest. I didn't get to rest at all, really, because I was up every 10 minutes or so to use the potty and it wasn't to get rid of water! I started to feel a little worried after the 4th or 5th trip in such a short period of time (about an hour). This is the sort of thing my body does when in labor! I was so scared. I actually started to think about calling my midwife. If you know me well, which few people know me THIS well, you will know that I do NOT call my midwife for much of anything! I might write her an email, but I RARELY call! Poor Karen has received, now, 2 calls within 2 weeks from me and BOTH on Sundays!!! :p How annoying!
Well, I started to feel jittery a short time later and decided that I did, indeed, need to call my midwife. We spoke briefly and she said she's be over to check me. I felt a bit of relief when we hung up and called Jess to let him know what I was doing. It was right around 9:30am (right in the middle of Sacrament Meeting!). I also asked him to be prepared, should I call again, to speak to Joey and Tim about coming to give me a blessing before he left. I didn't think I would actually call him again.
I was wrong.
At 9:51am I threw up a TON! I was actually violently ill when I was preggie with Kathryn, but as I recall I was not as far along in the pregnancy with her as I am with this one. Also, the illness I experienced way back then did not have all the same signs as the beginning of labor. When I was sick with Kat I was SICK! I had a fever, diarrhea, the works!
As you can probably imagine, I called Jess right away. I was super scared by that point and needed my rock and better half to be right here next to me. He came home REALLY fast. I know HE knows how really unusual it is for me to barf... unless I'm in labor and then it just sort of happens. He was totally solid for me. He kept telling me that he knew it was going to be all right. He doesn't always say that, so when he says it I believe it.
He did speak to Joey before he left church. Shortly after Jess got home, Joey and Tim arrived. They gave me a blessing for wellness and comfort. I did feel comforted and before they left my belly had stopped cramping so much. My back remained (and remains) achy, but I haven't thrown up again. I thought I was going to lose it (anything in my tummy) again right before they pulled up.
Karen arrived a little bit after Joey and Tim departed. She checked me and everything is GOOD... except that the baby is breech. *ah well* Can't win 'em all, right? ^_^ I'm actually not worried about the breech bit at all because this baby rolls and turns SO much more than either of my girls did. I've felt hiccups (usually) in the lower right of my belly, but also in the upper right and left! So, I know this isn't a stationary babe. And it's probably a bit flustered by all the crazy stuff going on around it... cause I KNOW baby felt some of those cramps!
So, whether I was getting ill with some sort of barf bug, or going into labor, the crisis was averted by two faithful Brethren and some Faith! I'm so grateful! Seriously... it was NO walk in the park to barf every hour when preggie (with Kathryn) and I seriously do NOT want to walk that road again! So today will be even more "lazily" than normal a day of REST for Tori! I'm so not wanting to push the whole "what if" button!!!
That's my drama for now. Hope your Sabbath day is more peaceful!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Regression and Pictures
So, this morning I experienced some interesting and sort of sweet regression on Kat's part. To preface I would like to share that we've started reading our little library of AWESOME books about babies being made and born and what it's like to become a big brother/sister. I really feel like this library helped Ria a LOT and we were able to refer to things she learned from those books AFTER the baby was born. We also continued to read the books about being a big sister and that helped her deal with her new role even more.
I think it's been about a week and a half now since the girls and I sat down and read all of the books in our little library except one (the title of THAT one is When The Baby Comes, I'm Moving Out, and I think Kat is a little too young to handle that one well). Kat is not THE sit-still-reader at almost 19 months old that Ria was from about 9 months old and on. However, I can happily say Kitty Kat is starting to bring me books really frequently AND sit very still for the enjoyment of them. However, the fact that she sat VERY still and paid VERY VERY close attention to ALL the stories we read that Sunday about a week and a half ago is something else! I think one story, in particular, has had a really big impact on Kat. It's called I USED TO BE THE BABY. It's a really GREAT representation about the new things the "big sibling" has to do differently and how s/he has to take into consideration the needs of the littlest one. In the end, though, the big brother does say something like, "But sometimes I like to be the baby, too." If that's not the direct quote, it's something really close to that! (I've read it often lately, can you tell?)
So, preface done... this morning Kitty Kat brought me one of the receiving blankets that she and Ria usually use as slings for their babydolls. But she didn't have a babydoll and she wasn't gesturing for me to make it into something for her use. I finally figured out (when she wrapped it around herself and made little mewing sort of noises!) that she wanted me to hold her like a baby! So, I did. She TOTALLY loved it. Now, this might not seem terribly strange given that she IS pretty young still and all, but I have to inform you that Kat is NOT a cuddle bug! I mean, she has cuddle-bug moments, of course. But generally she does not want to be grabbed and hugged, she is VERY independent, she is off on her own and, a "don't bother me" sort of girl. So, when she was acting SO cuddly and even acting a bit baby-like it finally clicked (remembering the book). And I asked her if she was pretending to be a baby because she still wanted to be a baby sometimes after the NEW baby is born. And she vigorously nodded her head (so that he whole body wiggles) the way she does when someone GETS what she's communicating. So... interesting.
She did it again this evening after our long walk. She wouldn't even let me stretch. And I totally needed to because I didn't yesterday and it hurt my belly later! So I had to fend her off, with her little receiving blanket (same one as this morning, by the way) until I was sufficiently limber.
Ria still likes to be the baby sometimes, too. But she made that very clear when I was preggie with Kathryn. And she lets us know in a very "big girl" sort of way when she needs some cuddles, which she almost always wants to happen in the hold one usually reserves for a newborn. :) My funny girls.
So, we've started the sex-ed/baby prep course again through the reading I've mentioned. ;) One of the AMAZING books we have in our LITTLE collection goes into the REAL details of how the baby gets IN the belly in a very gentle and super easy-for-Mama-to-read way. Kat definitely has a clear and complete understanding of what her little parts are called and, since the lessons, can easily identify in cartoon and photo the little boy parts shown in the books we have. (I'm ever-so-slowly getting to the bit about pictures!)
Well, my Mom was able to take a good number of pictures of Kathryn's birth. One thing I regretted about our preparation of Ria for the homebirth of Kathryn was that she hadn't seen any graphic representations of birth. So she really didn't have a clue what to expect except for the baby coming out of Mama from a general area.
Ria was totally UNfazed by my labor noises. She sat entranced, as it were, when the head was crowning and even when the head was out. She lost it, though, when the rest of the baby came out quickly and ran from the livingroom to her room screaming, "Baby GO BACK, baby GO BACK, make the baby GO BACK!" I was completely lost in labor land, but Jessie was aware and, in the AWESOME Daddy way he has, brought her gently back to actually MEET Kitty Kat. Well, I have some pretty graphic pictures from Kat's birth, thanks to my Mom. The girls and I sat down to look at them this afternoon. Ria was, once again, mezmerized and Kat was just tickled pink to see pictures of "her," though when she said anything it was "BABY!" She's very excited about babies!!!
We went through all the pictures. When we were finished and they were back in order I had to get dinner together. Kat was not having ANY of it. She wanted to look through the pictures AGAIN... and RIGHT NOW!!! Ria had the same desire, but she was letting Kat throw the fit tonight. I was, eventually, able to get away and put the pictures up and move on to dinner, but Kat didn't calm down about the injustice of it all for at least 5 minutes! So, I think both of the girls will be QUITE okay with this birth. :)
Ria even made sure to tell me while I was talking to my Mom that she is NOT going to tell the baby to go back this time! heeheehee ^_^
I think it's been about a week and a half now since the girls and I sat down and read all of the books in our little library except one (the title of THAT one is When The Baby Comes, I'm Moving Out, and I think Kat is a little too young to handle that one well). Kat is not THE sit-still-reader at almost 19 months old that Ria was from about 9 months old and on. However, I can happily say Kitty Kat is starting to bring me books really frequently AND sit very still for the enjoyment of them. However, the fact that she sat VERY still and paid VERY VERY close attention to ALL the stories we read that Sunday about a week and a half ago is something else! I think one story, in particular, has had a really big impact on Kat. It's called I USED TO BE THE BABY. It's a really GREAT representation about the new things the "big sibling" has to do differently and how s/he has to take into consideration the needs of the littlest one. In the end, though, the big brother does say something like, "But sometimes I like to be the baby, too." If that's not the direct quote, it's something really close to that! (I've read it often lately, can you tell?)
So, preface done... this morning Kitty Kat brought me one of the receiving blankets that she and Ria usually use as slings for their babydolls. But she didn't have a babydoll and she wasn't gesturing for me to make it into something for her use. I finally figured out (when she wrapped it around herself and made little mewing sort of noises!) that she wanted me to hold her like a baby! So, I did. She TOTALLY loved it. Now, this might not seem terribly strange given that she IS pretty young still and all, but I have to inform you that Kat is NOT a cuddle bug! I mean, she has cuddle-bug moments, of course. But generally she does not want to be grabbed and hugged, she is VERY independent, she is off on her own and, a "don't bother me" sort of girl. So, when she was acting SO cuddly and even acting a bit baby-like it finally clicked (remembering the book). And I asked her if she was pretending to be a baby because she still wanted to be a baby sometimes after the NEW baby is born. And she vigorously nodded her head (so that he whole body wiggles) the way she does when someone GETS what she's communicating. So... interesting.
She did it again this evening after our long walk. She wouldn't even let me stretch. And I totally needed to because I didn't yesterday and it hurt my belly later! So I had to fend her off, with her little receiving blanket (same one as this morning, by the way) until I was sufficiently limber.
Ria still likes to be the baby sometimes, too. But she made that very clear when I was preggie with Kathryn. And she lets us know in a very "big girl" sort of way when she needs some cuddles, which she almost always wants to happen in the hold one usually reserves for a newborn. :) My funny girls.
So, we've started the sex-ed/baby prep course again through the reading I've mentioned. ;) One of the AMAZING books we have in our LITTLE collection goes into the REAL details of how the baby gets IN the belly in a very gentle and super easy-for-Mama-to-read way. Kat definitely has a clear and complete understanding of what her little parts are called and, since the lessons, can easily identify in cartoon and photo the little boy parts shown in the books we have. (I'm ever-so-slowly getting to the bit about pictures!)
Well, my Mom was able to take a good number of pictures of Kathryn's birth. One thing I regretted about our preparation of Ria for the homebirth of Kathryn was that she hadn't seen any graphic representations of birth. So she really didn't have a clue what to expect except for the baby coming out of Mama from a general area.
Ria was totally UNfazed by my labor noises. She sat entranced, as it were, when the head was crowning and even when the head was out. She lost it, though, when the rest of the baby came out quickly and ran from the livingroom to her room screaming, "Baby GO BACK, baby GO BACK, make the baby GO BACK!" I was completely lost in labor land, but Jessie was aware and, in the AWESOME Daddy way he has, brought her gently back to actually MEET Kitty Kat. Well, I have some pretty graphic pictures from Kat's birth, thanks to my Mom. The girls and I sat down to look at them this afternoon. Ria was, once again, mezmerized and Kat was just tickled pink to see pictures of "her," though when she said anything it was "BABY!" She's very excited about babies!!!
We went through all the pictures. When we were finished and they were back in order I had to get dinner together. Kat was not having ANY of it. She wanted to look through the pictures AGAIN... and RIGHT NOW!!! Ria had the same desire, but she was letting Kat throw the fit tonight. I was, eventually, able to get away and put the pictures up and move on to dinner, but Kat didn't calm down about the injustice of it all for at least 5 minutes! So, I think both of the girls will be QUITE okay with this birth. :)
Ria even made sure to tell me while I was talking to my Mom that she is NOT going to tell the baby to go back this time! heeheehee ^_^
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