Tricky Tuesday: Spend Time to Save Time*

One way to save time that all too many Moms do not employ is by delegation.  Children are amazingly capable when we choose to train them, trust them and follow-through consistently.  Training is time consuming, but it's an investment which reaps amazing dividends.

If you could invest $10 and recoup $200 a few weeks later, wouldn't you do it?  What if it was $100 and you'd get back $10,000 after a few months?  What if the upfront investment was $10,000 and the payout $1,000,000?  I think of training and managing my children a little bit like that.

I have to do A, B, C, D, E, F and G while they are babies and none capable of doing more than babies do (eat, sleep, defecate, smile, and learn).  When one is old enough to do A, I have B-G, which is still a lot at times, but as they grow in ability my load of what was always and only my responsibility becomes theirs.  And so it goes.  I am stuck, currently, having a difficult time figuring out how to instill in my older children a desire to do A (and whatever else) without being told.  When they have learned that skill, I won't even have to spend time on management of their abilities.  I do look forward to that day!

It's been amazing to me to enjoy the fruits of time invested in training.  I almost feel to marvel at how much more I'm able to do now that my children have been fully trained in some areas.  Because I still have very young ones (my baby is 8 months old) and I hope to have more, I will continue to have certain duties and responsibilities pertaining to those years.  Those are the joys, though, really.  Diaper duty, baby feeding, always having baby with me, and night-night time are pretty special to me and so I do not delegate them.

I could delegate those responsibilities and I'm sure some Mothers would prefer to delegate diaper changing, but I don't and wouldn't want to!  My older children know it's a privilege to change my baby's diapers IF I let them!  My Mom taught me a way of considering diaper duty and it has remained with me.  Another woman affirmed it and I'm sure that only helped.  I see diaper duty as an opportunity to spend a few focused minutes on my baby.  I felt that way with my first child and still feel that way with my fifth.  I work diligently to make diaper time sweet and fun and when I've been able to be the primary caregiver consistently, diaper time has been a joy with only rare frustrations for baby and me!

Currently, I manage the following work, but my children actually do it: picking up the house, washing dishes, moving wet clothes to the dryer, unloading the dryer, folding children's clothing, and my eldest daughter begs to make meals, so she is allowed to do some (she is very good at basics like peanut butter and jelly wraps, scrambled eggs, and spaghetti).  She pleads for me to train her more extensively and I am, but I'm taking is slowly to make sure she has fully learned easier and more basic things.  She is an awesome baker already, but sometimes needs help putting thing in and taking them out of the oven, which is, of course, totally understandable.  I am still in the training stage for sweeping, kitchen clean-up, and organization.  I guess it's arguable that I'm constantly training for each of their regular responsibilities because they seem unable to see details as yet.  I'm pretty sure I remember that is part of brain development (children not seeing details readily) and it can get frustrating to go over the same thing repeatedly, but it IS worth the effort!

The point is that investment up-front in training is so much more worth the effort than I imagined it would be.  I'm sure this time of investment will prove to be even more rewarding in every way as I am blessed to observe their transition to adulthood and parenthood!

*I do realize my title is slightly misleading.  All who understand time to any degree know that we cannot spend or save it, that is is simply a creation of our linear brains.  I've chosen to use that title in hopes of conveying that training our children to be responsible for work in the home is worth the time required for the training.  In the end, we haven't really "saved" time, but enable our focus to be on different work.

Blessingway

Have you heard the term?  I had, but even though i've read about a couple, i didn't really GET it.  I started to "see" when Ali spoke about it at an awesome Mom's Support Group i attended a couple weeks ago.  Ali is a LLL leader and was at the Mom's Group to speak about LLL (La Leche League).  She mentioned and described the Blessingway concept.  It sounded SO nice.  I didn't think of it in terms of "for me," though simply because no one i know would do it and i'm not big on doing such things for myself.

Since i'd met Ali and Allison at Mom's Group (they work together for the LLL group that's pretty close) and liked them a lot, i decided to start going to the LLL Meetings before baby arrives as a way to form connections with like-minded women.  It was a lovely meeting.  I even met a women who loves Star Trek!  ^_^  (Come to find out, she is also a Cosmetologist!  Two unusual similarities.)

I ended up crying when trying to thank Allison for caring about and feeling the baby move.  My dear friend Crystal did as well and i was going to thank her on our way out (baby was very active toward the middle of the meeting).  It was just lovely and bittersweet to share baby's  activity with adults who care.  There is more to it, but i don't feel too good about sharing here.  Sorry.

Anyway... as a result of my tears, Ali hugged me a bunch and decided to throw me a Blessingway.  I was so grateful for the hugs as i haven't had many of those from someone around my stature and couldn't say no to the party because spending more time with such wonderful women sounded like a sweet sort of Balm.  So, a few days after the first meeting of some sweet ladies, they returned to Ali's house to Bless me, my baby, my pregnancy, and commit to praying for us.  What a GIFT, right!!?

It was absolutely wonderful!

An overview of the evening:
Time to chat (must have that when women gather!)
Snacks
Introductions (how those present know me) and a positive thought about what Birth means to each
Coloring!  (make a picture or write words to be included in a banner on which laboring Mama can focus)
Necklace and Commitment Bracelets creation in a circle
End

It was absolutely wonderful.  Oh, and any gifts given are meant to be either handmade/homemade and/or gifts of service/time.  For instance, i was given coupons for a manicure and pedicure and a basket of fresh, washed organic (probably some home grown) veggies!  How wonderful is that!??

I have always appreciated every showing forth of love i have received from others... ever!  Perhaps especially around the time of a baby's birth because it can be such an upheaval.  But this Blessingway is just SO much more my "style".  So completely NOT material oriented.  It's heart/love/blessing/God/friendship oriented.  Doesn't that sound like me?  :)  Well... if it doesn't, it FEELS like me TO me!  ^_^

In case you don't know me well, i'll share that the necklace/bracelet creation part was probably what i least looked forward to, but turned out to be equally as wonderful as the rest!  And, yes, i actually think i will wear the necklace (to those who know me).  Probably not often, just because jewelry adornment is not something i think about.  Even when my children make the jewelry and i mean to wear it, i just don't THINK about it!

Sicne i didn't realize how full of wonderfulness the circle for creating the jewelry would be - even after a description - i'm going to describe it and just accept you will not understand until you have partaken in the activity yourself.

So, everyone sits in a circle.  Each person brings/chooses 2 beads.  1 bead is to give to the Mama for her necklace, the other is to keep for the commitment bracelet.  Each woman gives a bead to the preggie lady and explains why they chose it.  Mama strings it onto her end of the string, while the giver strings her own bead onto the opposite end and then wraps the string around her hand to hold her soon-to-be-bracelet in place.  Each woman does this so that eventually everyone is connected in a circle of "jewels".  It's sweet, poignant, symbolic, and just really wonderful!  And so SO so totally me more than any other "baby celebration" i've been part of to date.

I still feel all teary-eyed as i think about and write about it.  My Blessingway was just WONDERFUL and so perfect.  Funnily enough i think one of the things that made it perfect and was completely unplanned (and couldn't really be purposefully included) was how very long the necklace creation took.  Not that i really WANTED it to take a long time cause you don't plan something like that... just like i've never planned LONG labors... but it was sorta hectic and a little loud and totally and completely sweet!  It just felt... like home*!  ^_^  Perfect.

*Home: where one's heart feels peace and comfort... not necessarily as most use the term attached to one's domicile.



Preparing for Baby

This time definitely feels to have gone, overall, faster.  There are certainly some days that crawl, but, for the most part, i'm amazed at how time has flown.  ESPECIALLY since we've been back from our extended trip to Virginia.

Pretty sure i've mentioned it, but it is much on my mind and i'm very pleased and excited... so wanted to share some more.

In the past, i have heard comments from some other Mothers about helping women who are having their _(more than second) baby.  It felt cruddy to hear the meannesses, but i think it was good for me, too.  As a result, i didn't really do anything different for #3 and #4 births or preparation for them.  i just wasn't present enough or organized enough to do what needed to be done... and i dreaded the labor ordeal.  Yes, preparing ahead of time required acknowledgement and acceptance of THAT particular step in the process.  :)  But i am DEFINITELY doing some things differently THIS time!  And, at least, one thing the same... but that's a good thing.

This time i feel SO different.  If you're interested in HOW (and potentially why) i feel different, feel free to read HERE.  No worries if you're not that interested, of course.

If you want to feel better about your own upcoming birth, though, i do recommend taking a few more minutes to read there.  It's all from me - so hopefully you know it's what i believe to be the honest to goodness truth.  Cause i just don't do full-frontal lying.  i admit that i am learning how to leave stuff out... but i think i should've learned THAT a LONG time ago.  ahwell...

Back to the reason for writing today!

What more have i done in preparation?  Among the NEW things i've done: i completed another 2.5 days worth of snacks!!!  That means, my friend, that i have now prepared MORE than my goal.  What a GOOD feeling that is, i have to say!!!  (We eat a little differently around here: breakfast, a snack, another snack, dinner... thus, two snacks per day is the usual requirement.)

The same day i exceeded my goal with regard to snack preparation, i also made another dinner meal... actually, only the meatballs for a dinner.  Ria is wonderfully capeable and will readily be able to make the noodles and pour premade organic spaghetti sauce over the top... hopefully have a veggie on the side (but probably something raw) if i cannot actually get up to do it.  She has been fully trained in that dinner prep.  YEAY!  So, i only have 3 more dinners to prepare ahead of time!  YIPPEE!!!  I sure am hoping i can accomplish my goal of 14 dinners before the due date, which is swiftly appraoching!

Something i've done in the past that has always helped has been to accept or ask for a Priesthood Blessing.  I've been meaning to ask for one for the last month or so, but just didn't get around to it.  Yesterday the Brother i wanted to ask turned around after the main service and asked me how i was doing.  It took a minute, but i finally remembered that i wanted to ask him for a blessing.  He was more than happy to help and he and another Brother i appreciate very much administered a PB for me after church.  The peace i've felt has been greatly increased since.  Praise the Lord!  :)

Honestly, i cannot remember if i heard about doing this or just decided to do it when i had just Ria and Kat, but it is something that has proven to be very helpful: i do an extensive clean of my vehicle and shift carseats around in advance of the birth.  Usually i do this at least a month in advance.  This time i did do a bit of shifting (reassigning the girls seats and practicing load-up and un-load order) about a month ahead of babys EDD, but i did not move Jmy's carseat until today AFTER we returned home from an outing.  It does worry me that i've waited so long to shift him.  Hopefully he'll be easy-going about it.  We'll see.

Since i was moving Jmy's carseat, i decided to also complete the deep clean.  Really, i keep the van very neat and orderly, for the most part.  However, the children do get to eat in the van at times and regardless of how many times i tell them and require them to clean up after themselves, there is always stuff left in cracks and crannies.  This troubles me a great deal... but i do my best and that's all i can ask of myself.  It was upsetting to find biscuit bits (who knows how old) and other random large crumbs stuck between a seat and the side of the van.  So, the "deep clean" was really beneficial!  But man... i could've chosen a better TIME, maybe.  i was soaked when i finished because i sweated so much.  Trying to rehydrate even now an hour later!

Yesterday my midwife dropped off my birth kit.  In the past, i haven't really bothered with looking in the kit or anything until labor was imminent.  Last night i dug into it, reorganized things, and placed the little presoaped sponge with brush thingy in a very visible place... then put it all in a place i'll see A LOT.  It's exciting!  Yes, i have already been thinking about the baby a lot, but not i'm anticipating the process to GET baby, too.  Not dreading... which is very nice!  ^_^

It sure does feel good to have food preparations coming nicely along and to have a relatively clean van now!!  I did not get around to wiping down surfaces (they are VERY dusty), but at least the carpets and seats are nicely cleaned up.  :)  It is SO much easier to keep the van nice and orderly and swept out... i figure it's sorta like the orderliness some women are able to maintain in their homes since their children are out of them for around 8 hours each day.  Don't know for sure, of course, but i imagine....   :)

Midwife Visit and Stuff Related

This morning was good.  Woke up nice and early for my walk, showered (it's even sweat-inducingly warm by 630am when i was finishing up my walk!), meditated, read my scriptures and ate some peanuts and raisins, and spent some time writing in my journal.  My midwife arrived.  We are now at weekly appointments.

The baby's heartrate was 140.  Normal.  Awesome.  My blood pressure was 118/72.  Good.  My fundal height measured 1 week more than last week.  Good.

All is well.  :)  Baby moves regularly.  We're gearnig up for the birth!  How?

Well, i've completed my goal of preparing 14 days worth of snacks (that's 2 snacks each day, by the way).  My goal of having 14 main courses prepared prior to the baby's arrival is short by only 4 meals.  Pretty great, right?  And i DO have a plan for those meals... at least 3 of them.  :)  So, i'm feeling pretty pleased with myself.

The rest of my "Before Baby Arrives Goal List" is sorely lacking in accomplishment.  But most of the items on it are not integral or even terribly important to baby's arrival.  Just things i WANTED to accomplish.  The main one that sorta had to do with baby (and the biggest that were/are directly related) is already done.  That goal had to do with excess clothing in the house.  It did feel good to get the items i'd put aside a long time ago washed, sorted, and OUT (though i did retain a few items in SMALL sizes... few is REALLY the operative word there).

The only thing i MUST accomplish before baby's arrival now is to relocate the clothes and blankets i expect to use for this one (probably some of the neutral colors as well as a few in "girl" and "boy" colors since we won't know which we have until the birth).  Those items DO need to be washed and i will have to find a home for them.  That last bit should be the most interesting of all aspects of the job pertaining to those things!  ^_^  It'll be fine.

I sure am getting excited!  This is the first time i've been able to look forward to a birth this way.  What's the difference?  i'm not getting stuck at the labor!!!  ^_^  Why?  Well... i think it is a many-faceted jewel of a difference in me, honestly.  For instance, i'm walking right around 2.31 miles every morning as well as doing "kimchi" DEEP squats.  i walk and do squats 6 days per week.  As a result, i feel very strong in my body and greater peace, generally.  The peace (and ability to feel it regularly if not constantly) is due, at least in large part, to the time i spend praying and listening to uplifting talks during my walks, which walking requires right around 1 hour every morning.  (Today was 65 minutes.)  i do think the Bach Remedies i use are enabling my brain to access the Peace always  available to us through Christ much more constantly.

Bach Flower Remedies are most definitely a facet in the jewel of my anticipating this birth.  THAT is a huge one, i think!  If i had to say which of the remedies are making the biggest impact, i'd have to say: Olive, Aspen (which has been particularly helpful regarding fears), as well as Hornbeam and White Chestnut.  Many days i use a total of 7 remedies, but i've been trying to use fewer the last couple days.  Just felt like i should....

Meditation is, of course, yet another facet.  If you haven't tried it, i HIGHLY recommend doing a little reading/watching and making a 40 day commitment.  If 40 days is too much, try 7.  In my opinion, 40 days is THE best minimum to try... but doing even as little as 7 could show you the value.  As for me, i started with a 40 day test this time around.  (A long time ago, when i was 25, i practiced some guided imagery meditation and loved it, but scared myself out of doing it.  But that's another story! ^_^)  The test, which i honestly didn't think i'd be able to completely, went wonderfully well.  Apparently the differences i felt were not very apparent to those around me, but i felt them so much that i kept going even though there was a good deal of opposition.  i'm super glad as i'm now approaching my 1 year anniversary!  ^_^

Currently, i'm practicing Kundalini Yoga.  It's nothing like the yoga that is commonly understood when that word is used.  In my opinion, it's MUCH better... though not usually/always as physically demanding.  If you do a search right here in my blog, you'll readily find a few posts that include the meditations i do regularly... except for the most recent addition (i started a new 40 day challenge), which i'll write about soonish.

Finally, but in no way meant as the least of these, is my effort to eat very well.  Organic produce is the majority of our food supply currently.  Hopefully, some of that will come from my garden very soon.  (So far it has been very little in the form of some greens.  Definitely grateful, but hoping for a good bit more.)  Juicing is also a big effort.  As i progress in this pregnancy it becomes increasingly difficult to juice regularly due to physical fatigue, but i still try to do it every couple days!

There is surely more, i just cannot think any more on this subject.  My mind is ready for sleep, but i have hours yet to go before i may.

Namaste!

A Piano and a Sweet Baby

I have been trying for AGES to get a piano. I was trying to get an real piano before I ever met Mary Kay (Ria's piano teacher). Literally, I think it's been over a year that I've been trying to purchase a piano. Well, there was this one time that the Spirit prompted me to talk to my Relief Society president about keeping her ear open for news of a free piano. Well, I didn't speak to her right when I felt the prompting and when I did she was SUPER upset to learn that I wanted one because she'd JUST (LITERALLY moments prior) given one away that needed a home! ARGHHhhhh! Ah, well. That'll teach me, right? Well, I wish that were so, but that's a who other issue.

So, in my search, I've found no fewer than 4 pianos that we've tried to purchase. At least 2 of those I had reached the 'talking to' stage/phase of trying to finalize a purchase (through Craigslist) when the deal fell through. What a BUMMER! There was this one piano that I had such a hankerin' for, too... it was JUST the right color. AHWELL!

Fast forward. I found another $100 piano (the amount I'd determined to spend, the amount those other pianos cost - money given to us for said purpose) this week and got in the 'talkin' phase. blahblahblah... Fast forward some more to today: WE GOT IT!!! It's quite a good piano for the price. We do need to tune it, but it's not too big of a deal (not too far out of tune). The move of it cost more than the piano! hahaha And hhheeeeeeerrre it IS:


Isn't it lovely? Ria has already practicee on it today. Kat has already played on it a little... though she was exiled from it for banging her sippy cup on the keys!! YIKES! It sounds nice and is in pretty good condition. I did a good wipe down of dust and stuff. It's a bit more fragile than I would like with my little ones, but I'll just have to work on keepin my eyes and ears out for them on/around it. It'll be all right.

I'm not officially taking piano lessons or anything and I'm not bustin my bum (cause I can't take the stress) over a specific number of days or amount of time spent practicing, but in my own mind I'm taking lessons right along with Ria. I've been working on the things she's supposed to be working on. I have a slight advantage since I do know some basic music stuff (since I played the flute a TINY bit in middle school)... but, for the most part it's new and exciting and I'm hopeful that I will be able to play the piano for our FHE songs at some point down the road! ^_^ A good and worthy goal, I think... especially since I never REALLY learned how to play the piano when I was a young and single female (foolish me!!).

I'm sure YouTube movies (on my channel - have you checked it out??) of Ria playing and singing will follow! Mary Kay gave Ria the song For Health and Strength to learn for Thanksgiving and Ria LOVES it! It's a Primary Song, too (though not with the same name). Mary Kay was very pleased with how well Ria played it on Tuesday and suggested getting more Primary songs for Ria to learn. Ria was TOTALLY stoked! Then Mary Kay suggested that maybe Ria could play while the Primary children sang at some point... and Ria was just about to jump right out of her skin! It was REALLY neat to witness. So... that may be something in the future... though I'm not sure if she wants to try for a Sacrament Meeting sort (since she's the Primary chorister) of thing or what. I almost hope NOT because people are sort of weird about Ria already (because of her reading)... ahwell. I guess I should really work on my thoughts & feelings because I should not even think about starting to put her light under a bushel, right? *sigh* That IS a problem for me... it's always easier to be impressive if no one knows about the good stuff! Ya know?

So, can you tell I'm excited about this newest addition to our household!? I AM!!!!

The other and even MORE wonderful addition, my Tea, is just amazing. She finally poohed yesterday. I know, I know... no one REALLY wants to hear about baby pooh. Bare wtih me, please. I want to illustrate another way my chubber sweetie is AWESOME. Okay. So, she hadn't poohed in more than 3 days. I could tell she really wanted to and was even trying at some points, but just couldn't get it out. And even though I could tell she was in pain, at times, she BARELY cried even on the last day when the pains were, obviously, the worst! She would screw up her face and get all red with the pushing... and she might he cry out when it hurt the most, but she NEVER started actually crying! And as soon as I was holding her and trying to comfort her, she would calm down. AND EVEN at least 3 times on that last day of constipation, she would talk and smile at me when I was trying to comfort her after I witnessed her totally in pain! Isn't that a SWEET baby!!!?? I pray that she will remain so sweet, tolerant, and easy as I certainly have a time with her two older sisters.... :) We'll see.

I'm pretty sure she is, at 5 weeks old, nearly the size of a 6 month old!!! Seriously. She fills up my lap, that's for sure. She is, at LEAST, almost bursting out of her 0-3 & 3-6 month onesies. Amazing, right? She's DEFINITELY bigger, at this age, than Ria or Kat were!!!!!!!!

Job Hunting and Crochet

Last night I did the bills in hopes that we would have enough money for Jess to do some more grocery shopping this morning. It didn't work out. What did happen was Tori getting even more stressed out about our finances. So, when Jess came out of the laundry room/computer room, I told him he wouldn't be going grocery shopping, but I did need him to go job hunting! So, he did that this morning. He feels good about his efforts. My preferences were not heeded, so that's a bit annoying, but I'm trying to be trusting and faithful, too... so, we'll see. :)

I think that the job hunting is going to be a major time sucker for Jess in the upcoming future. It feels like we need the change really soon because the bills are starting to not work out smoothly at all. I'm pretty bummed about that. I'm just so tired of having this particular trial repeat, over and over in our lives! *sigh* I do think it'll work out - eventually. Or, perhaps it's more accurate to say I HOPE they will.

My main preoccupation lately has been crocheting. The new baby's blanket is taking quite a lot longer than either of the previous two. I definitely attribute this to the fact that I'm using two colors, so there's just more to DOing it. It already looks quite cool and the actual depth of the blanket is only about 3 inches. :)

Oh, I "finally" learned that Evelyn, Chris, and Addie received the package I'd mailed. I was anxious to hear the parents' impressions. I actually only spoke to Evelyn, but she was very pleased. I'm really glad!! I was sort of nervous about it because the hat had an added bit to it... which I forgot to mention to Evelyn that she could really easily disassemble just that portion if she didn't prefer it. Well, either she'll learn that here or I'll eventually remember to tell her. :) She often tends toward less is more sort of fashion (and does it beautifully), so she might prefer NOT to have the little fringe I added to the hat to make it match the booties.

I still have yet to start my own new baby's jacket, hat, booties, and Tigger doll. I can hardly believe I'm 26 weeks preggie and I'm so far behind! My only really good excuse is that I've never had a calling AND been homeschooling like I am now with either other pregnancy. (of course) I really need to get to work on those items something serious! The Tigger, alone, will take a couple weeks (if I'm able to work on it regularly). ah well

We've had some SERIOUS rain this afternoon. I'm REALLY hoping that means it's going to be nice and clear around 6:30pm for my walk! I learned, from my midwife, that the walking helps my anus (when it's tender as it has been lately) because the exercise reduces my blood pressure. Neat, huh? Now, to do something about the constipation! ugh!!!

Birth and Blood

a BIRTH in my extended family
I just wanted to share, for any who might know my sister, that she had her baby on June 10th. The pictures are up, so if you know her, you'll find her blog in my list. You can peek in on her life through it... and check out her sweet babe!

BLOOD on my toilet paper
So, if you're someone for whom TMI is an issue I just want to assure you that as far as I can tell, the baby is just fine. This issue of blood is about the Mama... and nether regions usually unmentioned in polite circles. If you do have a problem with TMI, you might want to just skip this next bit.

I've had a suspicion for a while now that I generally house my most troublesome stress in my bowels; and more specifically the end of that tract. Last year when Jess and I were having the worst of the hard times we went through I was very unwell physically. NO, it was NOT psychosomatic. However, I'm just as certain that the emotional stress I was coping with was aggravating a problem already raw from the birth of Kitty Kat.

I started to notice after a few bouts of blood on my toilet paper after I went pooh... and worse, blood in the bowl! that these issues occurred the day after a big emotional storm with Jess. Even more specifically, after Jess and I exchanged words and then I felt deep in a dark hole of depression and misery. So, I suppose it really shouldn't surprise me too terribly much that I had bloody TP tonight. Today is, after all, the day after the deepest emotionally onset depression I've experienced in QUITE a while. (I've had hormonal depressions and very blue days following frustrating situations or experiences... but not despair like I felt all day Wednesday and carried over to Thursday morning!)

Why would I share such information? Well, I think it's important to make connections. And perhaps someone who reads this blog entry may realize that the migraines (or whatever) they experience follow a similar pattern and that if they can change the dynamics of arguments (or eliminate them altogether) with their significant other (or at least alter their own reaction to the loved one's tirades), then they might decrease or even eradicate the resultant head thumper (or whatever)! I really do believe that I can make the necessary changes... and if I can... ANYONE can!!! ^_^

Lighten Up and LAUGH!

I think I've seen this video at least 5 times and I laugh until I have tears in my eyes EVERY time! Baby laughs are just THE best (as Kat screams in my ear!).

Babies Babies Everywhere and Not a One to Touch!

Dance class day.

A little girl, a bit younger than Kat, comes with her Mama and big sister to dance class. The almost 1 year old ALWAYS sits in her stroller, doesn't interact much, and definitely doesn't talk. Probably a month ago Kitty Kat identified her as a baby and has been so attentive to her every Wednesday since, much to the little girl's chagrin! :(

Sage's daughter Mary is another "baby" Kat tries to love. Now, I have to say that Kat is AMAZINGLY gentle! She has been ever since I can remember. People have even commented about how gentle she is and how much she loves babies. But Mary is NOT interested what-so-ever! Sage tells me that at other activities there are toddlers about Kat's age and size who love her not-so-gently, so she thinks Mary is just sort of afraid of the "look" now. Makes sense to me. But try to tell Kitty Kat!

Another Mama of two dance class girls had a baby a month ago. She AND her hubbie brought the girls to dance, so, of course, the new baby was there. The baby was sleeping the whole time, so it took Kat a while to notice her. But when she did she wanted to pet and love her!!! It was sooo sweet. Kitty doesn't say many words really clearly, but she enunciates BABY sure as shootin!!! :)

Poor Kitty Kat has so much baby love and not a baby interested! If you couldn't guess by all of that, Kat is so VERY excited about the baby coming to our family.

Ria informed me today that she knows for sure that we're having a girl. She even told my belly, "I love you, baby Theresa!" I thought this was sweet of course, but tried to convince her to call the baby "Baby" since I won't know that the baby is a girl until I see the baby.

The funny thing about the name is that Jess and I decided on that name quite a while ago. I'm not sure we ever really talked about it with the girls. I'm pretty sure we DID talk about the boy's names a while ago. Well, out of the air one day Ria told me, "I think that if the baby is a girl we should name her Theresa and if it is a boy, we should name him John." The context was that she had asked Daddy if she could name the baby and he told her to ask me. She was asking what I thought of those names. I told her I thought they would be PERFECT. So, Ria is naming our baby! ;)

On to a disturbing incident.

I've been walking the bridge this week for my hour long walks. It's about 4 miles total and I finish it in about 64 minutes. Pretty good for a preggie fat girl!!! ;) Today was my third day on the bridge. It's a great workout! Today, however, I saw, as it were, my daughters' lives flash before my eyes!

Upon coming DOWN the bridge into my town I get to a light. I always push and wait for the little crossing man and then shoot across. Well, I won't be doing THAT anymore! There are a bunch of scrub palms that are set against a fence, which is around a pond, but because of those palms walkers and drivers cannot see each other at this corner. Today, even though the little man (WALK) went up right away I was moving really slowly, for some reason, compared to normal. It actually felt like I was walking in mud.

This is a tremendous blessing because, had I been moving as normal, the car that ALMOST hit us would have either hit the my girls in the buggy or me AND the buggy!

A stupid young female driver almost hit us. And I don't use stupid much to describe people, in general, anymore, but she DEFINITELY was! She had a red light. Rather than stop at the line appointed for stopping at red lights, she zoomed right through the pedestrian crossing area and stopped close enough to the corner that someone in oncoming traffic would have likely been VERY close to hitting her! (Since the little accident I was in when I was preggie with Ria I am a very careful driver and can honestly say that I am pretty darn sure I always stop at the line or before it before I continue driving.)

I was already crossing the street when this girl did her stupid deed and if I hadn't pulled the buggy back she totally would have hit the front wheel, which would have put an end to my walks. (Bad enough, but I've already illustrated the worse outcome!) Anyway... I yelled at her and almost cursed (which you will recognize, I hope, as a sign of how distraught I was!!)! :( But, thankfully, I did not actually say the bad word that shot across the stage of my mind. I said something like, "What the freakin' heck are you freakin' thinkin'???!!!" Loudly enough that I'm pretty sure she heard me even though her windows were rolled up.

A young guy and an older lady were behind me on the bridge, so they saw the whole thing. Right after she almost hit us I think I was overwhelmed by shock, or something, because as the guy crossed the street I totally lost it and started shuddering and crying hysterically. (This reaction is probably explainable by the fact that I'm preggie! heehee ^_^) The guy finished crossing, but then totally stopped and kept checking to make sure I was okay. The older lady was behind him and stood with me while I caught my breath and calmed down. She talked to me a bit, which helped me refocus.

The good from this very bad situation is that I felt deep concern from two complete strangers. This is really wonderful to me because sometimes it feels like people just don't care. So, that was heartening and uplifting to feel. I really feel like I was touched by two angels (as I feel people in our daily lives are the angels most of us see, but, perhaps, don't recognize).

Regression and Pictures

So, this morning I experienced some interesting and sort of sweet regression on Kat's part. To preface I would like to share that we've started reading our little library of AWESOME books about babies being made and born and what it's like to become a big brother/sister. I really feel like this library helped Ria a LOT and we were able to refer to things she learned from those books AFTER the baby was born. We also continued to read the books about being a big sister and that helped her deal with her new role even more.

I think it's been about a week and a half now since the girls and I sat down and read all of the books in our little library except one (the title of THAT one is When The Baby Comes, I'm Moving Out, and I think Kat is a little too young to handle that one well). Kat is not THE sit-still-reader at almost 19 months old that Ria was from about 9 months old and on. However, I can happily say Kitty Kat is starting to bring me books really frequently AND sit very still for the enjoyment of them. However, the fact that she sat VERY still and paid VERY VERY close attention to ALL the stories we read that Sunday about a week and a half ago is something else! I think one story, in particular, has had a really big impact on Kat. It's called I USED TO BE THE BABY. It's a really GREAT representation about the new things the "big sibling" has to do differently and how s/he has to take into consideration the needs of the littlest one. In the end, though, the big brother does say something like, "But sometimes I like to be the baby, too." If that's not the direct quote, it's something really close to that! (I've read it often lately, can you tell?)

So, preface done... this morning Kitty Kat brought me one of the receiving blankets that she and Ria usually use as slings for their babydolls. But she didn't have a babydoll and she wasn't gesturing for me to make it into something for her use. I finally figured out (when she wrapped it around herself and made little mewing sort of noises!) that she wanted me to hold her like a baby! So, I did. She TOTALLY loved it. Now, this might not seem terribly strange given that she IS pretty young still and all, but I have to inform you that Kat is NOT a cuddle bug! I mean, she has cuddle-bug moments, of course. But generally she does not want to be grabbed and hugged, she is VERY independent, she is off on her own and, a "don't bother me" sort of girl. So, when she was acting SO cuddly and even acting a bit baby-like it finally clicked (remembering the book). And I asked her if she was pretending to be a baby because she still wanted to be a baby sometimes after the NEW baby is born. And she vigorously nodded her head (so that he whole body wiggles) the way she does when someone GETS what she's communicating. So... interesting.

She did it again this evening after our long walk. She wouldn't even let me stretch. And I totally needed to because I didn't yesterday and it hurt my belly later! So I had to fend her off, with her little receiving blanket (same one as this morning, by the way) until I was sufficiently limber.

Ria still likes to be the baby sometimes, too. But she made that very clear when I was preggie with Kathryn. And she lets us know in a very "big girl" sort of way when she needs some cuddles, which she almost always wants to happen in the hold one usually reserves for a newborn. :) My funny girls.

So, we've started the sex-ed/baby prep course again through the reading I've mentioned. ;) One of the AMAZING books we have in our LITTLE collection goes into the REAL details of how the baby gets IN the belly in a very gentle and super easy-for-Mama-to-read way. Kat definitely has a clear and complete understanding of what her little parts are called and, since the lessons, can easily identify in cartoon and photo the little boy parts shown in the books we have. (I'm ever-so-slowly getting to the bit about pictures!)

Well, my Mom was able to take a good number of pictures of Kathryn's birth. One thing I regretted about our preparation of Ria for the homebirth of Kathryn was that she hadn't seen any graphic representations of birth. So she really didn't have a clue what to expect except for the baby coming out of Mama from a general area.

Ria was totally UNfazed by my labor noises. She sat entranced, as it were, when the head was crowning and even when the head was out. She lost it, though, when the rest of the baby came out quickly and ran from the livingroom to her room screaming, "Baby GO BACK, baby GO BACK, make the baby GO BACK!" I was completely lost in labor land, but Jessie was aware and, in the AWESOME Daddy way he has, brought her gently back to actually MEET Kitty Kat. Well, I have some pretty graphic pictures from Kat's birth, thanks to my Mom. The girls and I sat down to look at them this afternoon. Ria was, once again, mezmerized and Kat was just tickled pink to see pictures of "her," though when she said anything it was "BABY!" She's very excited about babies!!!

We went through all the pictures. When we were finished and they were back in order I had to get dinner together. Kat was not having ANY of it. She wanted to look through the pictures AGAIN... and RIGHT NOW!!! Ria had the same desire, but she was letting Kat throw the fit tonight. I was, eventually, able to get away and put the pictures up and move on to dinner, but Kat didn't calm down about the injustice of it all for at least 5 minutes! So, I think both of the girls will be QUITE okay with this birth. :)

Ria even made sure to tell me while I was talking to my Mom that she is NOT going to tell the baby to go back this time! heeheehee ^_^