When a Partner Refuses Children

I don't have all that much experience with this subject, but felt like I must write something about it.  I'm really not sure why because I don't think there are all that many people (other than my fam) who read here, but here goes!  ^_^

So, I know of some folks who are not in agreement.  It's so very difficult to be in a place of not agreeing with your spouse.  I DO know a LOT about THAT, unfortunately.

Anyway... I know a couple ladies... good Christian ladies, strong in the LDS Faith (at least, seems to me they are) who refuse to have any more children even though their husband desires more and feels strongly that they should have more.  I know, for sure, that at least two of the ladies I know of  are afraid of having more children.  One of them is afraid because of health reasons.  The other is afraid because of a combination of health and financial reasons.

I love all the people I know who refuse more children.  I'm not standing in judgement of them.  I simply do not understand their refusal.  I used to feel angry about this lack of understanding on my part and I'm sure others may have misunderstood and thought I was angry at them...  But, you see, I think I'm pretty okay in the intelligence arena.  I'm not the cream of the crop, or anything, but I can wrap my mind around some pretty interesting and possibly even dificult subjects.  But I simply cannot wrap my little brain around refusing more children.  I mean, I understand the words these folks speak, but I just don't get how those words jive with their Faith.

Don't get me wrong.  I have my own issues where Faith and trust mash and don't mesh.  I have begun to remember something from my childhood and it has caused some seismic shocks unlike any of the transformational psychic shifts I've experienced in the last 8 years.  And the shock waves issuing forth from the partial memory remembrance have, combined with other experiences (a plethora, actually), created the circumstances in which I have made certain choices about trust.  To trust or not to trust, that is the question.  And I've chosen to cut way back on trusting as a result of my experiences.  There are those who would say that this is counter to having Faith and I would simply respond that they don't have enough information... and, sorry to say, but I'm not sharing the pertinent data.  In fact, I would say that I have been Led (of our Father God) to cut way back on trusting.  He is teaching me to be other than my nature.  Makes perfect sense, really.  The natural (wo)man is an enemy to God.  My nature just happens to be a bit too open as far as God is concerned.

However, when I ask whether the decision (among those I have ventured to probe this deeply) to refuse children was inspired of the Lord, I have yet to receive an affirmative answer.  The responses rest heavily on the understanding of men... the philosophies of men, if you will.  I know of one couple who recently had their final child.  I never asked, because it came up in the course of conversations, but this family truly believes that Heavenly Father has approved their family size.  And to the extent that I understand this family, it seems likely that they are absolutely correct.  I understand that.  I feel sorta sad that they are so young (younger than me and not having more children just seems young... silly, but still!),

Temple Trip, Top Guide, and Through The Storm

Fay
Our day of being in the eye of the storm was quite good. The storm seemed to barely budge Thursday. Although we did have SOME rain, it really wasn't all that much and we didn't have horrible winds, for sure. We rather expected to have a lot more weather issues through the night and into Friday.

Perhaps our town and the nearest city did get a bit more weather on Friday than Thursday, but we weren't here to see it. We took our monthly trip to the temple. And I have to say that the inland bits got hit a LOT harder than we did! Basically all the way to the temple and home we saw a LOT more standing water than we saw back home... and heard about a LOT more flooding in the cities we pass through to get to the temple. Crazy, huh?

Our Temple Trip
The sweetest thing happened right as we approached the temple. We can JUST see the spire above the trees as we come up to it. AS SOON as we could see this Kat just let out this shriek of delight! Then, as we turned the corner, she raised a jubilant, "Bumple!" It really sounds a lot like she's saying 'bubble,' but I can hear more sounds in it than that after lots of hearing her ask for the song "I love to see the Temple" and just talking about the temple. It made my heart glad to hear my "baby" so joyful over seeing the temple! Ria was super excited to get to go to the temple, as well, of course. She asked, on the way there, if we could start going to the temple EVERY Saturday! Oh, I wish. We definitely cannot afford that kind of gas money... even if the gas prices have descended a bit.

ChaCha News
I'm a Top Guide with ChaCha now. YEAY! It's a weekly qualification thing, so it could change easily, but I'm very happy about it for now. Top Guide means that I'm making $0.20 per question as apposed to half that (which I was making)! It's amazing how much difference ten cents makes in how quickly the cash accrues!!! I was pretty worried about whether I would be able to get my payout up to $100 (the minimum necessary to get paid) by September 15th, but now it seems MUCH more DO-able! I'm so glad.

Dance Class
September 4th Ria will start dance class again. I'm excited for her, but very sad that Kat won't get to do a class (we wouldn't be able to pay AND there isn't one available for her age). The first class Kat will be able to take is when she's 3... which, actually, she won't BE 3 when the class starts, but as long as we live here, I'm REALLY sure they'll let her start because they can see her desire already! So, that's a bit of a reason for me to hope we stay in this area (especially right where we are, even), but I don't think it'll happen. Who knows, though! I think I do (know, I mean), and then realize I just don't even care... as long as we're doing what The Lord wants... THAT is what I want more than anything!

Baby News
In case anyone was wondering, I realized recently that I forgot to mention that my brother Ben's baby WAS born on 8-8-08. She was 8lbs 13oz! Love those chubbers babies!! Barb, the mama, is a champ pushing through some tremendous nursing difficulties. I'm SO proud of her because I KNOW from experience the temptation to quit is ALL too real. Keep pushing through Barb, I know you can do it!!!

Josh's newest addition is trying the same stunts as his siblings before him. Caroline started preterm labor the other night (she's just barely 31 weeks along)! Poor thing is now on bed rest with medicine (and a 4 and 3 year old running around)!!

Even with all the pain I've had, I'm SO glad my body carries babies well and relatively easily! At this point bed rest would help me accomplish my crocheting, but would be fearsomely debilitating in the whole "work" that I'm doing for some money for our family! Hopefully Caroline will be able to hold the baby in until 37 weeks... that's usually the optimum week for premies, but she's aiming for 36... GOOD LUCK Caroline!!!