Standing on My Mothers Shoulders

"You're an amazing woman."  My Mom said to me.

"I'm just trying to be like you."  I said in reply.

"Oh, I think you are above and beyond!"  My Mom said, most humbly.

Perhaps she's right.  Perhaps not.  But if she's right, it's only because she came before.  It's only because she broke some bonds, which have freed me to rise higher than she ever could, cause she was tied down... and then, she's put me on her shoulders to reach ever higher.

And that's just how it goes.  Each generation has made agreements.  Some of the agreements, surely, we believed would not be an issue.  Because we knew better than they did (before we arrived in these mortal tabernacles, who our parents are.  And we were sure, I believe, that they would overcome so much more (?) than they did, so the potential bonds we were agreeing to would be broken and the necessity of carrying burdens would be eased because they had broken and carried by them for us.

Regardless of the level or degree of their accomplishment, we have been freed far more than we can understand given our sight, level of comprehension of eternal matters, and so forth which are part and parcel of this life.

I know my Mom broke some very specific bindings as well as many other forms of bindings (I may not comprehend at this time) to which I'm certain I agreed to accept as part of my mortal sojourn before I was born (I'm not as well aquainted with my Dad's childhood to know if such is true of him, too).  But I do know to some small degree some of the bindings that my Mom broke, of those that were passed to her from her Mom and Dad.  She's freed me and my siblings by so doing.  What a blessing!

And so I am raised to stand on my Mother's shoulders by her life and efforts to live righteously and do as our Heavenly Father would have her do.  And so, I continue to try to be like her... to so live as to break bonds, fulfill agreements, and lift my own children.

Isn't that what we all do as parents!?!!??  :)

So I Do, For Much The Same Reason

Why We Run Drills

So, today was a good day.

Right up until the very end, that is.

At the end it didn't turn horrible or anything...

but something very...

ummm...

exciting

did happen.

Wanna know?

Wanna see?

Tell:

(then show)

Well, it happened while

I was cleaning up Jmy

(to rinse the hair

from his freshly buzzed head)

and then quickly rinse the sweat from the hot day

and hair from his cut off me

as well.

Ria, Kat and Tea were

SUPPOSED

to be getting PJs on.

When what to my wondering eyes should I see...

but Kitty Kat running straight to-ward me.

She was streaked in blood from her head to her...

belly.

And Ria freaked out

like a nervous little nelly.  ;)

Mama sent her away to stop the additional scare,

while noticing Kat kept her eye on the mirror with great care.

Pressure applied to that cut by a Mama.

and right into the shower

I whisked my poor Kat.

Washed away that darn blood

and calmed my girl down.

Then a request of my sweet Ria:

"Emergency call to Daddy, right now.

Just like we've practiced.

Yes, you KNOW how!"

And away my girl went.

The call was placed carefully.

She spoke to the woman,

oh so clearly,

"I need to speak to Jessie Gollihugh

right now.

This is an emergency."

The phone was quickly given.

The message from daughter to Father relayed.

And Daddy sped home,

to give us his aid.

The practice we'd done,

the drills we had run,

all paid off quite well,

reaffirming preparedness...

you don't have to, ME, sell!!!

Kat all bandied up and feeling quite special.

A close-up of the decorated bandages adorning her freshly cared-for cut

(so she could see them and be pleased).

I specially decorated the bandaids to cheer the good sport of a patient.  :)

As an aside:

 I was recently condemned for running drills with my children

because condemning person said I was teaching fear, not Faith.

I did not argue the point with said person, opinions are opinions.

BUT I refuse to stop doing,

and I refuse to constantly question

the things the Lord directs me to do.

His Ways are not our ways.

I will trust in my God!

He is EVER Faithful.

It is my challenge to always be so!

JUST SO YOU KNOW:

Basically all head injuries bleed profusely.

IF you haven't seen one (I hope you won't have to) it can be rather alarming.

I've seen a few.  So this was nothing real new.

I totally kept my cool.

One of my GOOD MAMA moments, I must say!  :)

And we took care of bizness.

All is well.  Kat is fine.

The culprit who caused the harm

is also well and fine.

Alls well that ends well.

Pointing out some silver around what could seem a cloud to many:

1. Daddy did NOT get a ticket when he sped home at 80 miles per hour (in a 35MPH zone)!

Jessie DID pass a Police Officer going the other way...

YEAY for God's mercies!!!

2. I'm certain some lessons have been learned

by three little girls,

which wouldn't have sunk in quite so well

without the difficult circumstances of this particular experience.

3. It could've been SO much worse!

Did you SEE how close to her eye that cut is!!??

For cryin' out loud... it could've been SO much worse!!!

I bear you my testimony that God was present and protecting

when I actually could not be!

Aint He great!!!?

To Conclude:

We, of this Gollihugh Family,

are EVER grateful for His constant, tender care

and awesome mercies!

Praise the Lord and Bless His Holy Name!!!!

LINKED UP

Some Nice Guidelines

If we know the Word of God and understand it, these 18 points are the ways our Heavenly Father would have us live, phrased in a different way.

At the start of the new millennium, the Dalai Lama issued eighteen rules for living.:

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs: 1. Respect for self 2. Respect for others 3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Nice, right?  :)

Chapter 3 of The Way We Became

This chapter is the first chapter for which you will pay if you desire to continue to read The Way We Became, which is the title of the story you've been reading parts of for the last couple weeks."How much?" You say.

Merely 10¢.  That's $0.10 for real.  Can you beat that??

 

Paypal takes a cut, thus the dime instead of a nickel...  I figure 10¢ is pretty inexpensive for a whole Chapter of a pretty cool... slightly strange story that you really want to know what's going to happen next in... right?  ^_^
This is a one-time purchase.  You will not be charged for more than this one Chapter.  That's only ten cents, just in case you missed it above!  ;)  If you desire to continue reading beyond this Chapter, you will have the opportunity to pay for each one as they are released.

In your purchase, you will detail the email address to which you would like to receive Chapter 3.  I will send you an invoice.  Please remember that this material is protected by Copyright Law:

© 2012 Tori Gollihugh All Rights Reserved

Thank you, in advance, for being honest, honorable and trustworthy!

A Quote From Elder Holland

“Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies.. I am convinced the commandment not to covet is meant to keep us from hurting ourselves… Brothers and sisters, I testify that no one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us—insecurities, anxieties, self-image, and all. He doesn’t measure our talents or our looks; He doesn’t measure our professions or our possessions. He cheers on every runner, calling out that the race is against sin, not against each other. I know that if we will be faithful, there is a perfectly tailored robe of righteousness ready and waiting for everyone, ‘robes … made … white in the blood of the Lamb.’ May we encourage each other in our effort to win that prize is my earnest prayer..”

CHAPTER 2: part 8 of 8; back to Weebly

back to the BEGINNING

WEEBLY

The science of it was a bit foggy, but Weebly knew that it worked because he’d seen it as long as he could remember. For some reason, though, he didn’t feel entirely comfortable about jump stations, wormholes, or speeds approaching that of the speed of light. He’d just rather hop a flight.

They were geared up and ready to go, but Weebly was standing still as stone in his nook. He was worried about leaving what he knew. what was familiar.

Madra came to the port, “Weebly. It’s time to depart immediately. Let us leave.”

“Yes. It is appropriate,” Weebly responded. He knew the right words. He knew the right tone of voice to use. He knew how to manipulate all so that she would not know of his concern. But he was concerened.

The two walked to their jump ports in their own niche’s jump station. Pedre was standing in his circle already. His long fingers were rubbing the sides of his legs the way they did when he was agitated or feeling impatient. Both feelings were supposed to be long forgotten, but were tolerated in Madra and Pedre because they were so useful to the community.

Madra entered her circle immediately. Weebly stood on the verge of entering his for a moment before her took the step that placed him firmly within it.

“Why delay? Should you stay? What is your concern?” Madra was perceptive and detail oriented. Weebly was worried he would not be able to pull off his cover-up much longer if they didn’t jump right away.

“I thought I left one tool in the wrong place and immediately remembered it was correctly placed.”

“Good. We cannot leave things misplaced. They must be perfect.”

"Let us jump. Weebly,” Pedre was speaking now, “do you remember the theory?”

“Yes. Of course.”

“Madra will jump first to be there when you arrive. Then you and I will follow to ensure that you have completed from this end. Madra, go ahead.”

“Gone.” And she immediately disappeared.

“Weebly. It’s your turn. Go ahead.”

“Gone.” But he wasn’t.

“Weebly. Focus. Locate the wormhole you will use. Imagine your mind drawing it to you. Guide it. Lay down a path for it all the way to where you stand. You only need hold it for a split second and then jump into it. You’ll direct it by laying a path for it as you rest in it. It’s simple stuff since you already know the theory. Just do it.”

“Yes. Simple stuff. Just do it.” Weebly muttered to himself.

“Go ahead, Weebly. Do you have a concern you need to communicate?”

“No, Pedre. No concern. I only need a moment to focus as you described. This is my first time.”

“You may use what time you need.”

“Thank you, Pedre.” Moments passed as Weebly focused hard. “Yes. I see it. It is actually moving toward me. Yes. It’s here. I’m GONE.” And he was.


© 2008-2012 Tori Gollihugh All Rights Reserved

next installment: June 30th, 10am

More on Doctrines (some deep-ish) of My Church

Susanne asked some really GREAT questions on a blog belonging to a friendly aquaintance of mine.  I loved the questions so much, especially after the challenge and joy of responding to some questions my friendly aquaintance posed as queries others might have (on her blog), that I decided I just needed to answer Susanne!  I hope you don't mind, Suzanne, assuming you ever read them.  ^_^
Your questions are in italics, unaltered.  I'm totally happy with any comments or questions you may have, too.

"Aren’t we good enough to be in heaven without having to adopt extra gods?"
I'm not really sure why you think we have to adopt extra gods.  Certainly Mormons believe in only God the Father, Jesus Christ and The Holy Ghost which three constitute our One God.

"or being sealed forever?"
Being sealed to one's spouse for eternity is not a matter of being good enough.  The sealing ordinance performs the unification of two into one for longer than life.  Marriage under man's law makes the union for life, sealing carries it through death.  So, the sealing ordinance has really nothing to do with being "good enough," except that both parts of the union must be striving to be "good enough" to be exhalted.

"or having to accept Joseph Smith as a prophet?"
I would ask a question in return: Aren't we good enough to not need Moses as a prophet?  Or, weren't the Israelites good enough that they didn't need Moses for a prophet.  I think the answer is both yes and no.  Yes, certainly they could return to Father's presence without Moses.  But no because they could not escape the captivity of their generation.  And for generations afterward (and Jews still today) who practiced the ordinances of the Mosaic Law.  These are performances that are meant to sanctify and bring those who do them unto the Lord.  So too, for the contemporaries of Joseph Smith through the generations to the present day.

"or having to do good works?"
So, would you refute the Bible?  Faith without works is dead, it says in the Holy book.  But you would argue that we are 'good enough' without good works to get into Heaven.  1+1=2 whether we like it that way or not.  :)

"What if we simply want to accept Jesus’ work on the cross as the only thing necessary for salvation and realize our good works stem from abiding in Him not as a means to earn a higher level of heaven?"
Such a desire is perfection.  Our good works DO stem from abiding in Him.  They do not "earn" us a higher degree of heaven.  By abiding in Him (doing good works), we are sanctified and purified and perfected (not made perfect in this life, but moved ever nearer to perfection).  This sanctification and purification and movement toward perfection enable us to endure a potential eternity nearer His presence.  No unclean thing can enter His presence, so surely no unclean thing can abide His presence for eternity.  No one of us will ever attain perfection in this life.  So we must rely upon Grace.  However, let's say there are two people who profess Jesus as their Savior on the same day.  Then one of them spends the rest of life abiding in Christ, performing good works under inspiration of the Holy Ghost, and loves to and years to abide in His presence always, then dies.  While the other falls into lustfull living, doing all manner of evil in the sight of the Lord, and lives in a manner so that this person feels GREAT discomfort at the thought of being among believers and cannot even contemplate entering God's presence for the shame of the life this person led....  Would it be justice for our Father in Heaven to force this second person into the same place as the first?  Would it be justice in God to force the first to endure eternity in the environs that second would feel comfortable in?  This is where the Degrees of Glory come in, you see.

"'Without me you can do nothing,' Jesus tells us. He tells us to abide in Him and He would bring forth good fruit in us. Why do we need to accept LDS doctrines?"
We believe... I believe that the Doctrines of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints are the fully restored Doctrines Jesus Christ taught when He was in His ministry on earth among the Jews.  We/I believe many plain and simple truths were lost through the Great Apostacy, which Jesus and Paul (I think) prophesied.

"I’m curious why the need for LDS missionaries – is this not a waste of time and resources that could be used to feed the poor or fight sex traffickers or provide clean water or mosquito nets that would save thousands of lives?"
We believe it is the duty of every person who learns truth to share it with their spirit siblings.  We believe we have the most complete truth about the nature of God and His Way for His Children, and desire to share these truths.  Missionaries are full-time sharers of these truths.

"Maybe you believe you are encouraging people to marry and be sealed for all time and that idea is worth going into all the world and preaching to every creature? Is this why Mormons are all over the world?"
Missionaries teach about those things, it is true.  And yes, this is part of the message we are striving to share all over the world.  But it is only a part.  We also teach about the true nature of God, the truth of our Father speaking to and visiting His lost sheep, and more.

"My mom’s family has several missionaries so I try to understand the missionary mindset, but it makes more sense to me when I feel like they want to tell people about Jesus so HE can save them from hell. But if there were no hell (by the way, I’d love for y’all to be right about this!! truly!) then I wouldn’t bother. If most everyone is OK just as they are, why leave family, go to another land and tell people their faith isn’t good enough (which can be insulting if you think about it)? Maybe “going to hell” is a bad reason to share your faith and yours is better? But what is it? You have to be LDS in order to have the BEST heaven? I’d join LDS just because their hell is so small, but what if you are wrong about that and hell is bigger than we think?"
We do teach that Jesus Christ saves us from evil and the result of sin.  If we sin with knowledge, we are exiled from God's presence.  As "nice" as the Tilestial (lowest degree of heaven) is, it's NOT eternity in God's presence.  And I'm pretty sure there is reference in the Bible to the idea that living out of God's presence is no treat, regardless of how nice it is.  The only way to attain eternity in God's presence is in and through and by Jesus Christ.  For, as you know, He is the way, the truth and the light.  And only in and through Him can we be saved.

Being able to attain the Celestial Kingdom (the BEST heaven, as you put it) is determined more by sanctification and whether all of the necessary ordinances to obtain the presence of God have been performed.  Since The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is the physical manifestation of the RESTORED fullness of Christ's Gospel, we have the most truth and part of that truth is the ordinances necessary to obtain the Father's presence.

Whether we (Mormons) are right or wrong about the number of folks who may be exiled to outerdarkness (hell) or not should really not be a concern for any good Christian.  For if we, Christians, are leading lives Led of the Lord we don't have to worry about hell... and focusing our attention there avails us less ability to focus where we should be focused.  If we only do good to avoid hell, then we're running away from something, rather than focusing on Christ and being sanctified.

"I always heard Lucifer wanted to be like God and this was what caused his fall. You have to understand why it’s difficult for someone like me to accept the notion that Mormons *want to be like God.* Or be gods…how is that different from Lucifer?"
This is different from the devil because we Mormons do not desire to take our Father's Glory.  We strive and work and live and love (just as all Christians do) to Glorify our Father.  The deceiver wanted to perform a form of the saving work Jesus Christ actually did, but instead of doing it the Lord's way (which Christ did do), the devil wanted to do it his own way AND obtain God's Glory for his own.  Jesus Christ was our exemplar when He said by His life and death, "Thy Will be done, not mine."  I believe that by becoming a god with my eternal mate I will always be a child of my Heavenly Father's and that any Glory I may attain will also be His... so, in the way that my earthly parents are always older than me, God the Father will always be "ahead" of me.

"Or maybe you believe Lucifer isn’t so bad and we have wrongly pegged him when he, too, will really be in that big wonderful heaven. Do you?"
Lucifer is the pre-existence name of him who is now known as the devil.  He is the father of lies.  He is the evil one.  He is the great deceiver.  He is miserable and desires all of us to be miserable as he.  We, Mormons, know these truths, as do you.

"By the way, do you believe Jesus and Paul were married?"
No way.  I've heard a lot of out-there stuff, but that's the most out-there to date.

"Also, how do gay couples figure into Mormon theology?"
Gay marriage, in our belief, is not recognized by God.  He did not organize or intend for a homosexual couple to copulate, much less consider themselves 'married.'

"And divorced people?"
I'm not completely sure.  I believe (that we believe) there will be a great deal of Grace for those divorced during our day.  Perhaps an even greater measure of Grace, given the world in which we live.  I definitely believe (and Mormons do) that divorce is not the goal; whether you are married by man or in the temple.  We DO believe the Bible to be the Word of God, so long as it is translated correctly.  So, Paul had a few words about marriage and the use of it.  I know, at one point, he said that if one were married to an unbeliever the believer should never leave, but if the unbelieving spouse left, to let them go.  Also, I believe he also said that it was important that the believer NOT leave because s/he never could tell if they would be the way and means by which their spouse would be saved.

"And couples unable to conceive?"
They are able to enter the Celestial Kingdom if all else is in accordance to God's Commands and Expectations.  He is the ultimate judge of all, anyway!

"or couples like me and my husband who never wanted children?"
Living childless for selfish reasons is, I believe, not pleasing to the Lord (given His first Commandment in the Garden) and could potentially cause those who make such a choice to suffer more than necessary if they had kept that Commandment.  If they were able, and chose NOT to keep the Commandment (just like any Commanment)... well, there is a blessing and punishment predicated on all obedience or disobedience (respectively).

NOTE:
I did strive to declare what I believe, but I do believe what I believe is according to correct Doctrines of my Church.  :)

Just For Fun

This content has been moved.  Please read it HERE.

Thankful Thursday

I'm going to try to pick this practice back up.  I loved it when I did it before (inspired to it by my amazing Sister from the same Mother) and I'm absolutely certain I can benefit greatly from including this in my life once again!  If you'd like to join me, I'm not going to do a link-up, per se, but if you Blog and want to do a Thankful Thursday posts and would like to share it with me, I'll edit this post (or any future TT post) to list your Blog as a link... more work for me, it's true, but this way I don't have to pay for a linky service this way.  :)

Now, there are a couple ways I can think of, right off the top of my head, to do Thankful Thursday.  I could list each day and come up with something I'm Thankful for/from/about each.  That's what I did before, if you recall.  While I may do that sometimes, I think I may simply choose one thing from the week to focus on and share it.  So my own Thankful Thursday post may be only one word/line (HA! can you imagine!?), or it may be numerous paragraphs (as per my verbose tendancy).  Just want you to know I'm not going to stick to only one format.  Hey... sometime you may even get a pictoral representation of what I'm Thankful for!  Yeah, I know... that would be a surprise since I rarely get pictures up here.  But it could happen!  ^_^

This week of June 21 through June 27, 2012 I'm thankful for my husband.  I'm grateful for trials that show me his devotion and dedication, love and loyalty, and his determination to support and provide for me and our family... and not just in financial ways.  He has really picked up some major slack this week (especially the last few days!) and I am so thankful!

I'm also Thankful that my sister has had another birthday.  How old are you now, Sis?  ;)  I know... somewhere around 7 years younger than me, right?  ^_^

The Ship and The Anchor

I know a ship who dropped its anchor quite a few years ago.  anchor all the way deep down into the bottom of the ocean floor.  The ship, representing the emotional life of someone, stopped progressing.  It just stayed put for a number of years.  And we know, when no forward progress is made, it is unlikely that we are actually holding steady, either.

Anyway... no forward progress... and then, slowly, one chain link at a time, the anchor started to be pulled up.  Slowly.  Slowly.  Ever so slowly until that ship started to be able to make some forward progress - even though its anchor was still draggin out behind it.  Obviously, the anchor impeded progress.  But that ship just kept on trying.

Until one glorious day when the ship realized it could get rid of that anchor.  The ship wasn't exactly sure how to go about it, but the awareness was born, "I can ditch this anchor!  I don't need it, not even a little bit!"  And so the ship kept moving forward as best it could with the anchor holding it back as much as it did.  But the ship didn't feel the drag nearly so much because along with trying to move forward, the ship was also puzzling out how to get rid of the anchor altogether.

And then it happened.

The ship realized that there was this person with it the whole time.  And this person was right there waiting to do the work necessary to release the ship from the anchor.  In fact, though the ship didn't quite understand how it could be, the work had already been done.  And the anchor that created an actual force in the ship's life was, but also was not.  As soon as the ship recognized that person for who and what He was, accepted the truths He represented and decided to dedicate itself (the ship) to that One, the anchor was no more.

Now the ship was FREE!  Not a storm on the horizon and a new and constant Friend with whom to enjoy the journey.

Does this mean life was peachy-keen for the rest of forever.  'Course not.  Oceans have storms.  But since that ship now devoted itself to the One True Friend, it would experience relatively safe passage through all of them.  That doesn't mean it would come out scott-free... it might even need repairs, but it'd all work out in the end.  And so long as the ship remained true, kept trying, and endured to the end, regardless of what the storms might do, there was a promise of eternal reward on the other side of the veil.

CHAPTER 2: part 7 of 8; back to Ziganths (Zig)

back to the BEGINNING

ZIGANTHS (Zig)

They were passing over Washington D. C. tonight.  Since that July 1952, long ago, they’d had free reign in the skies over D. C.  As long as they followed a very few guidelines, they would be allowed to fly with no questions asked. The only time they could collect individuals without raising suspicion was on nights of no moon.  Washington D. C. was their most successful collection location because of the combination of individuals and energy.  New York City was the best for energy collection.  As a result of the destruction of the twin towers back in 2001, they’d been able to build an energy generator and collector right into the land that was cleared by that destruction.  It was a tremendous score for Zig’s race, but yet another point of dissatisfaction and malcontentment for him with his people.

He clearly saw that they only perpetuated what any other race he'd ever learned about termed as evil.  Yet they, the Annunaki, declared that it was necessary for their survival.  They described what they needed to feed their physical and energetic systems as "good" because it perpetuated their race.  Zig wondered if it could be good at all if it caused only unkindness, pain, fear and negativity in all other sentient life forms.  He felt strongly that it could not actually be good and was, in fact, the evil acknowledged by other races.  Yet even in this awareness, he didn’t know how to do anything about it.  He wanted his people to change, but he didn't know how to make those changes happen.

“Zig, what are you doing?”

So deep in contemplation of the conundrum of his existence, Ziganths didn’t respond because he simply hadn’t heard the voice address him.

“Ziganths!  What are you doing?!?”

“Oh!  I didn’t realize you were there.  Please forgive me, Zidelths.  I was just considering....”

“What were you considering?”  Zidelths’s voice sounded far slipperier than he remembered.

“The problem of my thoughts.”

“Oh.  Zig, were you thinking about the wrong we do?”

“Yes.  How did you know?”

“Because I find myself staring down at the land we pass, wondering about the humans we torture and thinking thoughts that are probably pretty similar to yours.”

“Well, Zidelths, have you drawn any conclusions or come to any resolutions?”

“No.  No, not yet.  But I hope that I may, some day.”

“Hope.  That’s one of those silly ideas the humans speak on…  One of the silly wonderful ideas that makes me wish we were more like them!”

“Yes.  And I with you.”

“Zidelths, I wish we were not from different floors.  We could be great friends.”

“I think we ARE great friends.”

“Yes, of course.  But… what I mean is… well, it would just be really nice to spend more time with you.”

“But we cannot.  Stolen moments to feel camaraderie are our foreseeable future.  We must reach acceptance to achieve peace.”

“How do you hear their philosophies, Zidelths!?  I’m sure what you just said must be theirs!!”

“Well, it certainly helps to be the daughter of Communications' Agents.  My family line has been in communications for many generations, but they are all workers, nothing outstanding about us.  Because of my parents' work, I was able to learn how to manipulate the listening devices without any suspicion.  They were very happy to teach me what our line has done for as long as we have recorded.  Since I learned the process of using the listening devices, I steal away whenever I’m able to and take over one of the listening rooms that other agents don’t care to work in because there is no one of importance to impress.  I manipulate the directors and listen to what I want to hear.  It’s quite good!”

“Good.  I would like to get to know what is ‘good’.”

“Do you want it enough to break rules, Zig?”

“No.  Maybe I will get to that point, but I’m not there yet.  I’m an outcast in my mind.  I don’t think I’m ready to live as one every day.”

“It will be a difficult transition.  You must wait until you are ready to live your truth.  I must away now.  This interaction is very soon to be overlong to the hall-watchers.  I hope to hear from you soon.  You know where you can find me.”

“Yes.  Perhaps we’ll cross paths again soon.”

“That is to be hoped for, Zig.  I will hope.”

 Zidelths walked quickly away without looking back.  She was a strong female.  It was obvious the communications she was listening to were having an impact on her thoughts.  She was walking swiftly, but seemed to be surrounded by a feeling that was totally foreign to Zig… it must be that peace of which she spoke.  Oh, to have such peace!

 

© 2008-2012 Tori Gollihugh All Rights Reserved

next installment: June 29th, 10am

Another One to Which I Can Add Nothing

the changed version

the original song (for comparison purposes)

An older post has another great Obman song.
Enjoy!  ^_^

On Perpetuating the Mythical "Strong Woman"

Yesterday, a good fella with whom I was having a conversation said something like (not a direct quote, but as close as I can remember), "I know you're a strong woman.  You are very strong woman, but in some of your Facebook posts it seems like maybe you're not so strong."  I believe this good guy was rather shocked when I responded (basically), "GOOD!  I'm not a perfectly strong woman!  I'm perfectly human and fully of opposites.  I'm strong AND weak!"  This good fella seemed totally taken aback by this admission of my reality... and, possibly, my calm acceptance of it.

And here's the thing: if I strive to perpetuate the unrealistic and unattainable perspective that he conveyed of one half of me, then I make my own life miserable (because that part is only a part and not perfectly attainable through 100% of my life) as well as the lives of any and all the women that others might try to stand up next to the measure they have created out of the flat "Strong Woman" Tori....  Is that part (strong woman tori) a figment of their imagination?  Well, I can't say FOR SURE because I don't know exactly how they perceive me.  But I can say that I do know I am both a strong woman and a weak woman.  I am a woman of Faith who struggles against fear.  I am a binary; as God created me.  I believe we are all created this way so that we would necessarily struggle in this fallen world and, hopefully, in the midst of those stuggles (and potentially because of them), come to Him and become God's Girl (or Guy) ever more completely.

Let's de-stress my sistahs (and brothers) and be real.  Set goals for improvement, but reject the ideas and perceptions of perfection in all things.  We can improve and even reach perfection in small areas.  But this life is for progress, not BEing perfect.  It's for becoming perfectED in Him who made and saved us; if we would but accept His saving and our crosses.

So, all this brings me to another mythological creature.  I'm thinking specifically of the unicorn.  Did you know that there are nine seperate verses that mention the "unicorn" in the Bible?  It's true.  If you are not a man or woman of Faith, I hope that you would at least acknoweldge the Bible as a pretty apt representation of much of History.  So, what... is a unicorn completely fake?  I mean, it's mentioned in the record of the Bible, for crying out loud.  So, what has happened??

Interpretations, my friends.  Interpretation has happened.  Yes, of course, interpretation in the way we interpret one language to another - obviously that has happened.  But what I'm referring to is the loss of information from a past generation to a present one and then interpretation by current understanding of the past, has happened.  And so, a modern-day reader could easily read the nine verses that mention "unicorn" and chalk it up to another example of how the Bible really cannot be absolutely true because "everyone" knows there is no such thing as a unicorn.

So, let's say, for the purpose of this conversation, that the fact of "unicorn," as mentioned in the Bible, is absolutely real and actually IS, in fact, a fact.  Let's say that through interpreting the Bible from one language to another and then another the word to describe one animal (like a family relation of an ox, let's say) has become something else (namely a unicorn, which name implies a one-horned animal of some sort).  So, because of word choice, perceptions have been drastically influenced so that people believe that what was described in the Bible as unicorn is super far from what was intended by the interpreters of languages in the translation and inherent description.  Maybe the interpreters meant uni to refer to the unique position of this animal as almost extinct (maybe there was only one left alive when that particular translation began).  And corn was actually referring to the food the animal preferred.  Anyway... it could be whatever, really.  Doesn't matter.

What matters is that the reality has been skewed.  There was a specific intent which has been mis-shaped by time and interpretation.

What is my point?  My point is that there is another imaginary creature, like unto the unicorn of the Bible.  She actually exists, but not as described and (aparently, from my conversation with that good guy) not as expected.  Now, I'm going to begin a description of this creature, but I would REALLY like some help.  If I miss anything, or my description is not outlandish or extreme enough, please correct me and add to my description with anything you have encountered as a part of this mythical creature who does not and cannot exist.

The Strong Woman Mythical Creature

The Strong Woman  is able to deep clean her home while dressed to the nines, looking shower fresh even though the temperature in her UNairconditioned home in well above the 90's of outside temps.

She is able to keep her 200 sqaure foot garden and 5 acre lawn well-manicured, her 3500 square-foot home immaculate, while also making sure to sit with each of her 12 homeschooled children for at least 45 minutes each, each and every day.

She prepares three made-from-scratch meals and at least two snacks and two desserts and makes sure her children enjoy all of their food.

She is concerned that her children are well-nourished, so she purchases and/or barters to provide only biodynamic or organic (if necessary she will compromise and use organic) foods.  She avoids all GMOs, pesticides, BPAs, and anything else potentially detrimental to the well-being of her family.

She makes all cookies, pies, bread, pizza crusts, et al FROM SCRATCH on an as-needed basis.  Yes, frequently this DOES mean daily.

She excercises five days per week and maintains a svelt size 6 pants size, but she only ever wears skirts and dresses (size 5).

She gave up chocolate during her first pregnancy on the off chance that it could make things more difficult for her and/or her baby, and hasn't purposefully had a bite of it since (that was 15 years ago, and she doesn't think about it daily, either).

She never has a laundry back-up because her system is infallible: she washes clothes daily and folds them immediately after they have finished drying.  She never fails.

She irons her husband's work clothes.  He works as a mechanic.  The clothes come home greasey and grungy, but when he puts them on, they look brand-new.  Every. day. no. matter. what.

When trials come knocking on her door, she sinks gracefully to her knees (every single time), and rises renewed and able to face everythat that comes at her (still dressed to the nines, looking shower-fresh, and with a angelic smile on her face through it all).

When she cries, her mascara never smears, her nose never EVER runs, she magically has a spotless white linen hankerchief in her hand with which she delicately daps at the corner of her eye - for that is the only part of her that leaks as she cries, doncha know.

----

Okay, so... I'm starting to feel ill.  I mean... seriously.  SERIOUSLY!?!?

But this is what the "Strong Woman" is and does and just generally WHO she is... isn't it?  This is definitely the kind of pressure I have felt from others who look at me as if I am this mythical creature.  Here's a news flash for ya:

I am NOT anywhere NEAR the above described mythical creatre: "Strong Woman!"
I AM HUMAN.  I am FALLIBLE.  I am a mixture of dark and light, good and bad, strong and weak, faith and fear.  I strive to feed only the good, light, strong parts of me, but I fail regularly.  I am not a failure... I simply fail regularly... I am Tori.  Tori I am.

And so, for comparison purposes, I'm going to illustrate who I believe a real strong woman is... by describing who I believe I am.  Because a REAL strong woman is one who has both sides of reality contained in herself.  If you have some input you would like me to add to this list, I will happily do so.  AND if you want, I'll put your name in parenthesis with a link to YOUR blog so you can expound upon this subject there (or just get more traffic), if you so desire.  Just let me know!  ^_^

WHO I AM and/or HAVE been:

I know I am first (and foremost) a daughter of Heavenly Parents.  So, I have divine potential, a divine birthright, and a life of purpose to live.

I was born a daughter... I was rather disobedient and very mouthy at an early age.  I have always been head-strong and usually an independent thinker (read between the lines to find again: disobedient and mouthy).

I became a sister before I was two-years-old.  I don't know what kind of sister I was, generally, to that brother at such a tender age... but I know sometime soon after he was born my Mom was on the phone in another room, he was crying and (knowing who I became as an older sister) I probably got pretty peeved at the thing that wouldn't stop making loud noises... so I picked him up (HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT I SHOULD not PICK HIM UP AROUND HIS NECK!!?  I was TWO for cryin' out loud) and brought him to my Mom.  So, I believe one should interpret from this that I have always been service minded.  I knew the crying thing wanted Mama - so I made it happen.  HA!  ^_^

As an older sister I was in charge, sure of myself, and continued to be head-strong.  To interpret: I was bossy, mouthy, disobedient and pretty unkind.

When I became a student, these traits continued, though I put them in the trunk and locked it while at school (for the most part).  Took 'em right back out to shove in the faces of my parents and siblings when I got home, though, I tell ya.

Oh, and did I mention: my room was a MESS when I was a kid!??  yes.  YES IT WAS.

Fast Forward

I became a Wife and soon thereafter a Mother.  Didn't know much about these roles - except for what I saw... and so I did that - interpreted, of course.

I kept stuff (still do).  And not always in an orderly fashion.

I try to keep EVERYthing super clean and end up with most things somewhat clean.

I want to make fresh bread as needed (and have done so when I feel together and with it), but mostly we buy pre-made bread at the cheapest price I can.

I cannot stand make-up.  I think it's nasty vile stuff - almost all of it.  And i feel like wearing it is somehow saying that I'm just NOT enough as myself.  I'm not cute enough... I'm not pretty enough... I'm just NOT enough.  And I just frankly prefer to avoid sending that message about me to myself (or anyone around me, for that matter).  So, I don't wear that chemical laden crap... as a result, I never look like I'm dressed to the nines... even if my clothes are nicer than what I normally wear.

I normally wear clothing that is functional and (most importantly) comfortable.  I refuse to be identified by my outward characteristics (HA!) and especially those that are added to the form I have created of myself.

I am NO WHERE NEAR a size 5 OR 6.  I'm somewhere closer to a 22, actually... truth be told.  I do not excercise daily.  Actually, the last time I did that was... oh... about 6 months ago.  I want to.  I mean to.  But focusing on other things (like this blog post), which are more do-able to and for me is much more appealing.  And who doesn't like to feel successful!?  (Actually, to be completely honest, I would REALLY like to start exercising RIGHT NOW, but I'm having a specific physical problem that requires that I do not... so I'm put on the bench for a lil' while longer because of circumstances out of my control.)

I don't think I've ever successfully deep cleaned my whole home at once.  I do bits and pieces... well, I try.

Now, my laundry is often completely... washed.  I often have a couple baskets that need to be folded... but at least is is usually not piled up on the dirty end of the task!  :)

I do try to prepare nourishing meals.  Cannot afford organic everything... don't even know where to source biodynamic stuff  'round here... I'm sure I couldn't afford it if I COULD find it.

I do try to avoid GMOs, pesticides, BPAs, and anything else potentially detrimental to the well-being of my family - but given our financial restrictions, it just isn't always possible to avoid all the bad stuff I know about.

I do actually live in an UNair conditioned home.  But I sweat.  "Never let 'em see you sweat" is a drug pusher's motto.  They want you to believe that to be a lady your body should do other than it is designed to do... they want you to believe that you need that crud full of aluminum under your arms so that you'll get sick faster: Alzheimers, anyone?   I refuse to put that crud under my arms (do you KNOW how much stuff your skin absorbs into your blood stream!???!).

I avoid ironing.  Rarely break the iron and board out.  Cannot remember ever ironing anything Jessie wears.  See... by comparison to the mythical creature, I'm a horrible wife and mother already!

My garden and lawn (much smaller than the above woman's) is NOT well-manicured and my home is never immaculate. Though I do homeschool, I only have three "doing" school and I don't usually have to sit with them.  Tea: yes, the others, not so much.

I heard whispers and directions of the Holy Spirit from as far back as my first pregnancy that I should give up chocolate.  I did not.  It took me until January 2011 to do so.  I have not purposefully eaten chocolate since... but I have wanted to on a regular (if not daily) basis.

When trials come a-knockin' on my door I have only successfully fallen in a lump on my knees immediately a few times.  Even when I have done this correct behavior, I have arisen still feeling wounded, tired, broken, battered, and unsure of myself and (sometimes) the constitution of my life (read: wondering if I would've just made better choices ___ many years ago, would I be in a much better place now, sort of thinking).  When I am beset by the more troubling trials (like problems with Jessie or the really tough physical problems), I count myself successful to GET dressed, TAKE a shower, and get my hair brushed (no necessarily in that order).  I rarely smile convicingly when dealing with the more troubling trials.  I'm not the epitomy of Ms. Wilcox's poem: "Worthwhile."  I'm just not.  Wanna be, but not there.  I am sorry for this lack.  But I'm....  wait for it... HUMAN!

And as for crying.  Well, I can sometimes get away with crying in a sort of acceptible manner.  But I promise you, you simply do not ever want to see me cry a full-on ugly-tori-cry.  You just don't.  All illusions of me as any sort of Strong Woman would simply vanish.  So, I guess, if you'd like to really know me, be there to see my ugly-cry.  You'll reveal yourself, too... I promise.  :)

 

CHAPTER 2: part 6 of 8; back to Yilandria (Yiddy)

back to the BEGINNING

YILANDRIA (Yiddy)

The preparations for their departure were completed in an efficient and calm manner.  Although no one would have been able to tell it by simple observation, her parents' movements were the kind of flurry that conveyed that they knew that she did not.  She felt agitated that they would not reveal what they knew, but she didn’t want to disrupt the process of their packing project to ask them what they knew.  She was certain they would tell her when they were less focused on the job at hand.  As she observed them carefully, it seemed to her that her Mother was ever-so-slightly aggitated and wondered what could upset her to such a degree that she might outwardly seem slightly aggitated to a careful observer.

They told her to pack only her two travel suits.  Because of the manner of production of those suits, they would need infrequent cleaning (if any cleaning at all) and would be comfortable no matter what they encountered.  She knew her parents were thinking logically and that the travel suits were completely appropriate and the only clothing she needed, but she wanted to have some variety.  When it came right to it, she packed only what she was told to pack.  She knew their passage would be impeded by excess weight.

Thankfully her parents had figured on her bringing her tottle bug.  It was the closest thing she had to a pet and she didn’t want to leave it behind.  The added benefit to them was that Squidgy, her tottle bug, could copy all of her textbooks, non-fiction resources, and novels into her little brain and recite them back to Yiddy while also showing the text in a projection on any small flat monochromatic surface.  Yiddy was glad Squidgy would enable her to read, but not as excited about all of the content her parents required Squidgy to retain.

Her parents were moving swiftly around their dwelling.  It was obvious to Yiddy that they were trying to make sure that they had all the resources they might need saved into their own bugs.  Each of them were already wearing the one travel suit they would use for the journey and they were not bringing any backups.  They’d made this trip before and said they knew what they needed and refused to take more than they needed.  They told Yiddy that the more she tried to take, the more difficult the journey would be for her.

While she waited, Yiddy listened to the waves.  She wanted to hear the one that would tell her about the most up-to-date current events, right down to the moment of hearing, but because she was so excited, she couldn’t focus enough to tune into that wave.  So, she settled for listening to a classical music wave.  It was soothing.  As she sat almost free of thought, she found herself hoping that the relaxation she was feeling would last into and through the upcoming journey.

© 2008-2012 Tori Gollihugh All Rights Reserved

next installment: June 28th, 10am