Another Story from our Moving Experience

The Soul

Our departure day, August 18, 2014 is the day the game began.  We didn’t plan it.  We didn’t really know it would become a game when it started.  It just sort of happened.

As we drove north heading out of DeLand after turning in the Brighthouse box, Jessie spotted three green Kia Souls at the intersection of 17 and International Boulevard.  Two were heading west on International and the other was turning next to us.

During the ordeal of the Blown Tire, Jessie saw a green Soul.

By 7:16pm Jessie spotted our fifth green Soul.  Five is supposed to be a big number for me, numerologically speaking.  I don’t know what it means, but it somehow seems significant to me- even without noting numerology.

I’m pretty sure we saw Souls between August 18^th and the 25^th, but I didn’t keep track of them until the 25^th.  I think it was just sort of interesting at first… and then there were just so many and we would see them at interesting moments, that I started to keep track of how many we saw and what colors they were.

August 25^th: gray: 2, green: 1, dark gray green: 1, white: 1, black: 2

August 26^th: black: 1, green: 1, silver: 1

August 27^th: gray: 1, white: 1

August 28^th: white: 4, red: 3, gray: 7, black: 3, green: 3, eggshell: 1, orange: 1

August 29^th: green 1, red: 1, silver: 1, black: 1

August 30^th: black: 1, green: 1, silver: 1, white: 1

August 31^st: black: 4, red: 1, eggshell: 1… of the black 2 had white racing stripes and 1 had red racing stripes

September 1^st: red: 1, dark gray: 2, black: 2

September 2^nd: green: 4, black: 4

September 3^rd: silver: 2, white: 1, gray: 1, green: 1, yellow: 1

September 4^th: silver: 1, black: 1, red: 2, white: 2, green: 1, gray: 1

September 5^th: white: 2, gray: 1, green: 3, black with red racing stripe: 1, eggshell: 1, brown: 1

September 6^th: silver: 1, gray: 1, eggshell: 1, green: 1, white: 1,

September 7^th: silver: 1

September 8^th: white: 1, white with tiger stripes: 1, green: 1, gun metal gray: 2, orange: 1

September 9^th: black: 2, silver: 3, white: 2, eggshell: 1

September 10^th: silver: 5, greenish brown: 1, white: 5, eggshell: 2, yellow: 1, green: 5, gray: 1, red: 1

September 11^th: white: 1, green: 4, red: 1, gray: 2, silver: 1

September 12^th: silver: 7, eggshell: 1, black: 3, gray: 2, green: 3, brown: 1, white: 3, yellow pea green: 1, orange: 1, jade (blueish green): 1

September 13^th: orange: 2, black: 1, red: 1

September 14^th: we were not out and about

September 15^th: black: 3, white: 4, eggshell: 2, navy: 1, green: 3, yellow: 1

September 16^th: Mama and the children stayed at the trailer.

September 17^th: black: 1, eggshell: 1

The order of the colors is the order in which we saw them, but we may have seen a few of one color before we saw a new color… or one of each.  Sometimes, I’ve seen a color that seems to indicate that my thoughts or feelings are on the wrong track.  Maybe I was feeling upset about something and I then saw a red Soul.  Or the opposite, too… as in seeing the five green Souls on the first day… seems like we’re getting the “green light” to keep going even though the difficulties we were facing might cause me to think we’re doing the wrong thing.

It’s a silly little game, but it’s fun and something positive that Jessie and I did from the first day of our moving adventure.

“For the worth of a Soul is great.” Has come to my mind very frequently during this game.  ;)

The children made a pun… they said: What song would a Soul (car) sing most?  Answer: Then Sings My Soul.  Harharhar  ^_^  Love my silly punny kiddos!

Saturday Soliloquy #30: Before We Were Married

Before Jessie and I got married, we were engaged for almost 2 years (by my count).  During that time, Jessie went on a 6-month cruise and I went to Australia as an exchange student.  It was also during that period of time that September 11th happened (while I was in Australia).  You can read a tiny bit about that here.

It's interesting to remember how long it seemed to take to get to our wedding day!  It seemed interminable.  It definitely wasn't, of course, but it sure seemed that way.

We planned everything for our wedding.  I'll tell you all about that next, probably.  We scheduled everything together.  I thought it was a great experience of increasing unity and our ability to work together.  I am very decisive most of the time and some folks don't like that much.  Thankfully Jessie did.

Before we were married, we spend all the time together that we could.  Of course we did.  We believed we were deeply in love.  It's interesting how perspective is altered after 10+ years of marriage.  Very interesting.

Saturday Soliloquy #29: When We Said, "I Love You" and Another Big Deal

It was right around two weeks into the relationship that we told each other, "I love you."  It wasn't all that big a deal, I think... but it was Valentine's Day... or maybe the day before.  Anyway... I think that was THE only truly special Valentine's Day ever for me.  Jessie may have done something for one or two Valentine's Days after that, but not really since then.  ahwell

Add another few weeks to get us to two months together... we were talking and somehow ended up in his bathroom.  I was upset about something.  Then we were talking about our relationship and getting married.  He was sitting on the toilet (on top of the lid) and I was sitting on his lap facing the tank of the toilet.  That was some time in March of 2000.

As far as I'm concerned, that March is when we got engaged because we set our wedding date: December 31, 2002.  That's when we gathered all our friends and family together for our wedding.  It was lots of fun.

I didn't get a rink at that time.  He "proposed" with a ring the Christmas after I returned from Australia.  That was nice, I guess... but it felt uncomfy for me because it was with his family and I'd only just met them.

Saturday Soliloquy #28: Introducing My Mr. to My Family

Exercise was a big part of my life when I met Jessie.  I heard from his roommates that it was not a big part of Jessie's life.  Still, he wanted to hang out with me, I guess, because he agreed to come to the gym with me and my Mom.  So, he met my Mom within the first two days.

Very early on, he also met the rest of my family when I invited Jessie to where I lived in my parents' house.  He had a friend drive him because there was something wrong with his truck.

I saw that Jessie was shy at that point.  I thought it was sorta weird because he hadn't seemed shy at all to me.  He really didn't speak at all.  He answered questions that were directed at him, but he didn't volunteer any information.  I now understand why he does this, but back then I saw it simply as a manifestation of the shyness he'd told me about, but I hadn't experienced when it was just the two of us.

Perhaps it was the second visit to my parents' house when I decided that he was either going to sink or swim among my folks.  My family is pretty important to me.  And we tend to be a bit loud and fun and direct and can sometimes overwhelm others.  So, I left Jessie in the livingroom with some of my family to go do something that I didn't need to do because I wanted to see if he could deal with my family without me.

He didn't real deal with them much.  He continued to only answer questions directed at him, but he also didn't entirely sink, as it were, either.  I'm pretty sure it was after that visit that my Mom said a few things to Jessie.  My Mom was shy when she was young.  She told Jessie, "I like shy people!  No, I really do!  The world needs Toris.  It does.  But the world needs why people, too.  Who would pay attention to Tori if there were no shy people?"  hehehe

I'm pretty sure some who haven't known me very long may find that an odd thing to say.  You just haven't known me long.  I used to be very different than I am now.  Very very different.

Jessie really liked what my Mom said to him.  He told me, "I really like your Mom."  I wasn't surprised.  My Mom is really likeable.

Saturday Soliloquy #27: How I Met My Husband: The In-Real-Life Part

You'll have to read LAST WEEK's post to really follow this one.

I always went early to meet the guys I agreed to meet from matchmaker.com.  That way I could feel comfy and greet them.  It worked very well for me.  I'm still a bit like that, I think.  I'm pretty sure my time obsession (being on time) is a result of my time in Japan!

 So, I was seated in the waiting area.  I did wander around a bit, too.  He was late.  Not horribly late, but I did wonder if he was going to stand me up, too.  I'm relatively sure my fragile ego couldn't have stood up to that again.

I knew him when I saw him.  He looked very much like his profile picture.  That was a relief.  I'd met a few guys who looked NOTHING like their profile pictures.  Seriously, NOTHING like their picture.

When he came in, I hugged him.  I was very much into hugging back then.  I still like them a lot, but rarely initiate much any more.  I have loads of sort of sensory issues, so hugging can sometimes be a bit painful in a way that's difficult to describe to anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about by just the way I've already described it.

I told the waitress who seated us to seat us in the smoking section.  I knew Jessie was a smoker and he'd told me how shy he was, so I wanted to make sure he'd be comfy.  He definitely was, as I never felt any indication that he was shy at all.  (I've definitely seen manifestations of that since then!)

As soon as he sat down, I gave him a gift.  He'd turned 21 while underway, so I gave him a birthday present when we first met.  It was Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul.  I thought we had that in common (he said he liked to write).  I'd already read the book and loved it.  I made a cover for it, decorated with my lettering and some of my poems.  I also wrote in the book (some of my poems, too).  How silly a girl I was... and SO trusting!

He was very touched by the book.  I think I even saw some wetness gather in his eyes.  He told me no one had given him a gift and he couldn't remember if anyone wished him a happy birthday, either.

Yes, I was a thoughtful person.  Still am.

We talked for hours.  I talked a lot, it's true, but he talked a lot, too.

The only reason our date ended was because I decided I must get home so that I could wake up and go for my run.  I was running somewhere around 6 miles each day when I met Jessie.  I was pretty healthy and fit at that time in my life.  The smallest size 10 I've ever been.

I wish I'd continued to care for myself first... to take care of my body temple instead of waiting for him all the time.  Now, I'm a tight size 20 and XLG in my clothes and weigh a good bit more than 200 pounds (and I've shed some excess recently).  If you read my Super Sunday Slimdown, you can find out the exact numbers if you're really curious.

If we did anything before leaving, I think we may have hugged.  No kiss.  Just another hug.  That was very nice.  Definitely soothed my concern over the wrong answer he gave in the multiple choice section!

Saturday Soliloquy #20

From Melbourne I went to Adelaide.  This was my favorite part of the trip and my favorite "just stopping in" city (after Sydney).  I honestly cannot remember anything that I saw or anywhere that I went.  But it was wonderful because there were two sweet girls that welcomed me into their little group.  I remember one was named Caroline, but I cannot remember the name of the other.  I just remember having WAY more fun in Adelaide than any of the other stops on my trip to circumnavigate Oz!  I wish I could write to them and thank them for their kindness.  I'm still SO very grateful!!

Saturday Soliloquy #19

After Canberra, I went by bus to Melbourne.  No, it is not said: "Mel-born."  It is said, "Melbun."  It can have a SLIGHT R sound right before the N, depending on the person speaking.

Honestly, I don't remember anything about Melbourne.  I do remember wishing I had a friend (or my guy) with me to enjoy the place and all there was to do and see.  I'm sure I walked around a lot.

I'm sure I enjoyed the sights, but for me... things aren't as important as people.  So, although I'm glad I went, not much stands out in m place.

Looking through pictures online, I found one that is very familiar.  So, I'm sharing it here.



Saturday Soliloquy #18

Last week was a bit about Sydney and my time there.

When I left Sydney, I went (by bus) to Canberra, which is the capital of Oz.  My hostel was pretty near the center of things, which is a huge blessing.

To say Canberra properly, you say: "Can-bura."

I walked to various places to see the sights.  I went into many of the "important" buildings.  I also visited a war memorial.  I'd never been to any in the U.S. so it was a very touching experience for me.  I think visiting such a place (especially for the first time) is amazingly powerful and really puts things into perspective... at least for a little while.  It was a memorial with lots of names... and looked kinda like a tomb.  It was heavy on my heart for a long time afterward.

It's beautiful, isn't it?  Even though the photos do it justice... they don't.  It's so difficult to describe.  But there is NO way that a photo can replace BEING there.

This fact, is one of the reasons I have some of the dreams/plans I have.  I truly believe it's better to BE there and EXPERIENCE stuff than to simply accept the vicarious experience of a TV program or a photo.

Anyway... back to my time in Oz.

I'm not sure if I had really been to D.C. before my trip to Oz.  There was a different feeling about that city than others.  It was like it was lacking.  I didn't know how to describe the lack back then.  But now... since I've been to D.C. as well as Canberra... I think I would describe it as a lack of goodness in/of Spirit.  Not to say that all the folks who work and live in those cities are bad.  I certianly do NOT believe that at all.  It's just an overall feeling.

And the buildings... while they are impressive, they felt empty and lacking.  Now makes me think of "the great and spacious building" in Lehi's vision and Nephi's dream.

Saturday Soliloquy #17

This post continues the story from last week.

Sydney is a very big city with lots to look at and experience.  I'm sure there's even more if you have more money than I did!  Still it was cool to walk up and down the streets.  I'm glad I'd already had my circle drawing experience in Japan.  One really big difference between Sydney and other big cities I'd seen in the U.S. is that it was way older looking, but very clean.  By older looking, I mean that the style of the overall architecture is so much older.

Additionally, it seemed like the city design is more geared to community.  There was an area of shops and such that could only be accessed by foot.  You had to park pretty far away to get to it, from what I could tell.  Of course, I didn't have a car or use one, so I may have missed something.

I met one young lady with whom I am still in contact with.  Katrin Henn.  She was a bright spot in my loneliness in Sydney.  We ate together and talked.  It was so nice to spend some time with her!

In walking, I enjoyed finding LOTS of sushi places.  Some were actual restaurants.  Others were more like a sort of closet off of the strip into which you could walk and have service at a bar (or order from the front a premade plastic container of something or another).

There was a huge flea market area.  I could've spent most of my few days in Sydney in that place!  SO many vendors!  It was pretty cool.

I really enjoyed my time in Sydney.  It was a good first experience of Australia.  Just a bit lonely.

Saturday Soliloquy #16



It's been a while since I was able to work on this series.  I hope to have it here for a while now.  :)

Now on to Australia.  Those are stories my eldest daughter asks for second only to Japan.  Japan is basically done, so... here we are.

My plane took off for Australia about a year after I left for Japan.  I met my future husband about a month after I got back to the states from Australia (January 2011).  He departed for a 6 month deployment a couple months before I left for Australia (in May 2011).    I departed at the end of July.

Before I left for Oz, I planned out my whole trip from flight to arrival in Perth (the city of my school: Edith Cowan).  I purchased a pass for bus travel anywhere on the continent (only caveat: you can not go back once you've gone in one direction unless going back the way you've come is the only option).

I flew into Sydney.  I was blessed by some of my luggage being lost on the trip.  I didn't feel totally blessed until I was out and walking in the city... then I realized what a hassle it would've been to have ALL of my stuff with me.  As it was, my hiking packs barely fit into the locker I paid for until I could check into my room.

I stayed at a Hostel very near the center of town.  Yes, hostel.  Not hotel.  The main difference is that a hostel is more for community than a hotel.  Sometimes, you share rooms with others.  Usually, you have to pick up your linens when you check in, make your own bed.  The don't usually provide towels or any other toiletries (though some do have toilet paper).  The kitchens are communal with lockers in which you can keep your own food.  Anything you keep in the fridge, you must label or it's up for grabs.  There is a whole room intended for hangout out and getting to know others.  Often, a TV is in that room.  Maybe wifi.  It was very cool.

Stay Tuned for more next week!  :)

Saturday Soliloquy #13

Some of my favorite things about Japan include many daily practices.  I loved the entry way in my Host Family’s home.  It was quite large.  Basically it was a transitional sort of area of the home… even those you may not invite into the inner parts of your home could enter and converse with you in the entry room.  There were many things in this room of my Host Family’s home, but I don’t remember all the details.  The main things I remember are that #1 the entry level of the floor change right before you went into the house… it raised up about 8-12 inches from the level of the first front door to the level of the door into the home.  Before anyone entering could step up to the inner home level, it was expected that one should remove the shoes worn outside and put on some house slippers.  My Host Family had house slippers for each person, but also had lots of extra visitor slippers.  I loved that.

I also really loved that my host family had a whole smallish room for the toilet.  This room was a bit sunk down and the practice was to remove house slippers, put on the toilet room slippers (that everyone shared), use the toilet, and then exit, leaving the toilet room slippers ready for the next person to enter (not exactly convenient for the person exiting), and putting house slippers back on.  The toilet room was entirely separate from the room that had the sinks and there was no door between the two.  I didn’t realize, until the end of my time in Japan, that my Host Family’s toilet had a hand-washing sink on the back of it… every time one flushed, clean water ran so you could wash your hands.  Very cool.  Unfortunately, I went from the toilet room to the sink room every time after I used the toilet.  The room in which we took showers and baths was through a door in the sink room.  The bathing room was very cool.  It was one level onto which you stepped upon entering the room and then you stepped up to step down into the tub.  The shower spigot was a few feet away from the awesome tub so you could wash and rinse without getting any rinse water into the hot deep tub.  The tub was amazing.  It was re-circulated water kept hot by a heater that was part of the whole set-up.  I could sit in it and the water was up to my chest.  I could also stretch my legs out straight in front of me.  I could not lie down unless I bent my legs… but I was happy to just sit and soak.  I loved the baths!

I got a cold while in Japan and my Host Mother immediately put me on a schedule of dinner, bath, hot tea and off to bed.  It seemed a little silly to me, but that was one time I whipped through a cold much faster than was typically normal for me.  I’m sure the tea she gave was helpful, too… though I’m not sure what it was.  It also felt quite nice to be so carefully taken care of.  It seems that I’m generally perceived as a pretty tough chick… so it’s rare enough that anyone attempts to take care of me or be protective of me.  But I am a woman… and we all want to feel cherished and lovingly cared for… at least sometimes.  Anyway… it was nice to be cared for by my Host Mom.  And it definitely helped!

I also liked that the part of the school I attended expected us to remove our shoes to enter the main part of the building.  The rest of the campus wasn’t like that, but I’m glad my little building was!

The bike parking area near the train station I rode to from my Host Family’s home was quite cool.  There were bike racks, but no one used chains or anything else like that to lock up their bikes.  There were neat little keyed or coded locks that stuck the tire in place somehow.  I think it was more because the people were full of integrity, but being careful didn’t hurt either, I’m sure.  The little parking lot I used was attended by a security guard, too.  Very neat.

Saturday Soliloquy #12

Another experience you simply cannot understand unless you’ve experienced it in Japan is Karaoke.  In the U.S.A. Karaoke, as I’ve seen it, is a caricature of that which exists in its country of origin!  In Japan there are Karaoke businesses.  These are buildings dedicated to Karaoke.  When you go, you usually go with a group.  You and your group are brought to a room fitted with seats, a table, a big screen and a method of choosing your songs to which you’ll sing.  You are assigned a waitress and can order appetizers and alcohol.  There may be places that have meals as well as appetizers, but I didn’t experience any.

Along with Karaoke, it’s interesting to note that drinking alcohol is a completely different thing in Japan compared to the US as well.  I mean, for instance, you can purchase humungous cans of beer from automated machines (like soda machines).  That is a whole thing in itself, too, the whole automated dispenser-thing!

Regarding alcohol, it seemed very much that there was not any stigma attached to the consumption of it.  The only problem that arose (socially speaking) as far as I could tell and was told, was if someone who drank was a mean drunk in public.  Otherwise it seemed like alcohol was viewed simply as a means to an end.  For instance, I learned it was pretty common practice for a boss to go out drinking with his employees for the express purpose that his employees might see him as a regular person and not the mean “bottom line” guy he has to be at work.  It was definitely seen as a social lubricant in Japan far more than I’ve ever known it to be accepted in the US.

As for the automated dispensers… well, if you can imagine that it might work in such a machine, I’m absolutely certain the Japanese could tell you if it works out as practically as it does in theory!  Seriously.  In addition to beer (and other alcohol to a lesser extent), you could find pantyhose, magazines, food, porn, movies, and more in such machines.  I’m absolutely certain I did not see as wide a variety of them as there are, in fact, available to be seen and purchased from.

Another automated sort of thing that was very different in Japan is that there were numerous video game/gaming spots.  Within each such place, you’re sure to find a mini-photo booth.  When I went to Japan, these photo booth pictures were popular enough that most of the tiny planners have a few pages specially dedicated to and made for them.  I heard, also, that there was a bit of trading of them that was popular.  They sure were fun!  The photo booths were one of my favorite activities, actually.  They could be found almost everywhere, not just in gaming places.

Although I didn’t experience it at all, there were also specific places for various forms of gambling.  Pachinko is one I can think of right off the top of my head.  I can’t tell you any more than the name because I never went in or played.  But I can tell you those shops/buildings/places were VERY well lit and noisy.  Regular shops were also lit well, but these gambling houses were almost TOO well lit.  This seems almost a direct opposite of the same sorts of places in the US… though I’ve never personally been to one in the US… I’m just basing that on what I’ve heard about them and seen in movies.

Saturday Soliloquy #11

When I went to Japan, I had very little understanding of the culture into which I was stepping.  I didn’t know what to expect in most instances.  One thing I thought I would understand without too much problem was the food.  I knew I loved sushi.  What more could I need to know?  Well, as it happens… a lot!

For instance… in Japan there are often displays of the kind of food prepared in a given restaurant.  You look at them and choose and then place your order.  Well, my first experience of this was rather embarrassing.  I thought the display was the food from which I should select… yes, some of the fake food looks THAT real.  So, I picked up the display and brought it along to where I thought I should pay for it.  There was much confusion – especially complicated by the fact that I spoke very little and understood probably less Japanese at the time of this incident.  Thankfully, when I went to Japan the Japanese were (still are from all I understand) so super polite that they would not make fun of me or laugh in my face as an American employee in the same situation would more than likely do.  I rarely blush.  But I think I must’ve been quite pink in the cheeks over that one!  I sure felt flushed!

Another difference that was quite fun is the sushi bars.  You think you know sushi bars, huh?  Have you BEEN to Japan?  Okay, I hear a no.  Well, then, my friend, you have NO clue.  Not all, I’m sure, but perhaps most of the sushi bars in Japan are far cooler than anything your experience can convey.  Convey.  Conveyor.  Conveyor belt.  Can you imagine little plates of sushi moving along a little conveyor belt either #1 from the kitchen, through a little plastic flap door, around your table, and back through another door into the kitchen or #2 on a conveyor belt circling endlessly around the sushi chef(s)?  Can you imagine it?  Well, if you can not, let me know and I’ll try to more adequately describe it for you!  It was awesome!  One thing about these sushi bars is that the sushi itself is priced based on what kind of plate it is sitting on.  If you’re not familiar with the pricing… well, it can get pretty steep pretty fast.  And they do have drinks on some of these conveyor belts… and those are stupid expensive.  And yes, it is upsetting and embarrassing to find out how much more expensive after you’ve selected one only to find out you really didn’t have permission to do that… but wasn’t told so from the outset.  *sigh* One of the problems of passive aggressive communication practices… and that’s basically almost all Japanese.

I’ve already mentioned the Korean BBQ restaurant.  That was super cool.  I sure would love to find something like that around these parts.  Highly unlikely, though, I’m sure… given that the nearest town to me is only of medium size… definitely not a megopolis or anything like that.

The other coolness that I especially loved was the Chinese restaurant my Host Family took me out to with some friends.  I definitely had the STRONG feeling of being their pet on display on that outing.  None-the-less, it was a great restaurant experience.  So, it was a Chinese place.  Our party had a room to itself.  Cool, I’m thinking.  There were two main tables.  I was put at the children’s table, which I’m sure was intended as a mean thing, but though I could feel that, I preferred to be among the younger folks.  In the middle of each table was a ginormous lazy susan.  Food was places on the lazy susans and we all selected food from the lazy susans to put on our own little plates and then eat.  It was very cool.  And though I do not remember any of the food items specifically, I did enjoy it quite a lot.  And the effort of the youth to include me in conversation and try to get to know me was quite nice, too… definitely experience far more of that among them than the adults among whom I “should’ve” been seated.  Boy, I’m glad I was insulted by being seated among the youth!  J

The final note about food is one that I’m pretty sure translates across all cultures.  I’m not absolutely certain on this, but I’m pretty sure given the natures of those involved are pretty static across cultures.  I reference the way that my Okaasan (Host Mother) spent hours preparing various foods so that my Otousan (Host Father) could enjoy the glory of preparing them at the table.  This was not a daily practice, but, rather, what happened for those meals that, apparently, my Otousan enjoyed fixing for the family.  All praise was directed toward the father even though all he did was nicely put the work together and then serve it.  Hmmmm…  Sound familiar?  This is not the primary mode of food preparation in my home, as my husband is a Chef… but there are times and it does annoy.  A common experience of this I can immediately think of is the “traditional” Thanksgiving dinner in many American homes.  My Host Mother seemed fine with it, though I think she did appreciate that I thanked her for preparing all the items used in dinner.

Saturday Soliloquy #10

Japan Continues

(I'm sorry to have missed last week.  I've been having some personal life difficulties and haven't felt able to write about my life.  I'm one of those lame writers.)

Most gaijin (foreigners/cave people) stand out in some way or another.  Often, it is obvious by the foreigner’s appearance.  This was certainly the case for me.  At the time that I went to Japan, I was 5’3” tall, wearing about a size 18 pants, white blond hair, blue eyes, and slightly tan skin (which was super pale next to most Nihonjin: Japanese).  Given my appearance, I definitely wasn’t able to blend into any crowd.  I did stand out like a sore thumb.  Thankfully, Japanese are very polite and didn’t stare overtly.  I know that stalkers choose their focal obsession for many reasons.  I’m pretty sure my stalker in Japan chose me simply because I was so different looking.  My friends didn’t believe me when I first told them I had a stalker.  I felt a little bit like maybe I was imagining the whole situation.  But then he staled me when we (my friends and I) were together.  They were blown away and asked all kinds of questions about the situation and my seeming lack of concern over it.  It was very strange, I’ll freely admit, to see the same guy at numerous train stations who was obviously watching me in a very polite, Japanese, way.  But I was never actually afraid of him because I didn’t feel any alarms go off concerning him.  Now, one of my girlfriends was actually harassed by a Japanese man… he managed to mess with her skirt as she was riding home one day.  She was, rightfully, freaked out and I had the opportunity to feel extremely thankful that “my stalker” hadn’t come near me as far as I was able to tell.

Among my friends was a nice looking fella.  Danny is 6’ or so, thin, blue eyes, and at the time had waist length blond wavy hair.  Once, when he and I were out and about with our other friends during the afternoon or day time I observed that Japanese seemed really comfortable with him.  I even saw a number of different Japanese reach out and touch his hair.  I had never experienced anything like that – at least, nothing that was purposefully done in that sort of intentional way I observed them do with him.  This was puzzling to me at the time, but I’ve come to understand it as a clear demonstration of what protects me.  People just did not feel able to reach out to me.  This is generally true as well, I think.

I conducted at least one social experiment while I was in Japan, but I honestly do not remember any details!  I keep hoping to find/get my hands on a copy of the newsletter series I wrote while there, but haven’t just yet.  If I do, I’ll definitely share about that!

As a foreigner, there are certain things I was not expected to either know, know about, or like.  I’m grateful for this list, really, because it enabled me to coast a bit more given that I didn’t know a lot and I did NOT know ABOUT a lot!  Among the things I was expected not to know about or like were many food items.  Taco, nato, cow’s tongue were a few of the food items I was expected not to know about or like.  There were others, but I just don’t remember them.  As for taco… that’s octopus, I love/loved it!  My host family considered me baka da gaijin for this strangeness… that’s “silly foreigner” to be nice.  I did not previously know about nato and I did not like it.  I think, in a way, this was a relief to my host family.  Nato is fermented soy beans.  It has a horrid smell and amazingly snotty texture and… well, I just didn’t like it one bit.  As for cow’s tongue… that was a sneak attack!

My family took me to a Korean BBQ restaurant.  It was a really cool experience!  In the table of our booth there was an actual little BBQ.  My Host Father did the cooking honors (for as long as he wanted them, at least) and we enjoyed quite a bit of BBQ.  My family was always amazed at how much I ate and could eat.  They purchased numerous plates of meat and some veggies and we ate them all up.  There were numerous types of meat offered and served.  One of them they prepared and served me with, as I could see in hind-sight, special attention on me and my reactions.  I loved it!  It was “oishiidesu” and I told them so (delicious).  It took a little while for the question from them to me to come together in a way I could understand completely.  They were asking if I knew what it was.  Nope.  Then they told me, “It is cow’s tongue.”  They were, all four of them, paying close attention to my reaction.  I thought about it for a second and told them, “Okay, well, it’s still delicious!!”  They were shocked!  Then they asked if I wanted more and I told them that if there was more I would love it.  Again: shocked!  But it WAS delicious and learning which of the many muscles I’d eaten didn’t change that.  Anyway… it was pretty funny all around.  Much laughter about this at the table that evening… and I’m sure they told their friends what a strange foreigner I was and referenced my many odd behaviors with special emphasis on the foods I loved that were not meant to be well-favored by gaijin.

Standing on My Mothers Shoulders

"You're an amazing woman."  My Mom said to me.

"I'm just trying to be like you."  I said in reply.

"Oh, I think you are above and beyond!"  My Mom said, most humbly.

Perhaps she's right.  Perhaps not.  But if she's right, it's only because she came before.  It's only because she broke some bonds, which have freed me to rise higher than she ever could, cause she was tied down... and then, she's put me on her shoulders to reach ever higher.

And that's just how it goes.  Each generation has made agreements.  Some of the agreements, surely, we believed would not be an issue.  Because we knew better than they did (before we arrived in these mortal tabernacles, who our parents are.  And we were sure, I believe, that they would overcome so much more (?) than they did, so the potential bonds we were agreeing to would be broken and the necessity of carrying burdens would be eased because they had broken and carried by them for us.

Regardless of the level or degree of their accomplishment, we have been freed far more than we can understand given our sight, level of comprehension of eternal matters, and so forth which are part and parcel of this life.

I know my Mom broke some very specific bindings as well as many other forms of bindings (I may not comprehend at this time) to which I'm certain I agreed to accept as part of my mortal sojourn before I was born (I'm not as well aquainted with my Dad's childhood to know if such is true of him, too).  But I do know to some small degree some of the bindings that my Mom broke, of those that were passed to her from her Mom and Dad.  She's freed me and my siblings by so doing.  What a blessing!

And so I am raised to stand on my Mother's shoulders by her life and efforts to live righteously and do as our Heavenly Father would have her do.  And so, I continue to try to be like her... to so live as to break bonds, fulfill agreements, and lift my own children.

Isn't that what we all do as parents!?!!??  :)