Saturday Soliloquy #33: Being With My Sister and other wonderful things about being in Utah

My children were the greatest impetus for the trip to Utah.  If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have worked the way I did for myself - regardless of how much I wanted to visit my sister and meet her newest baby.  I'm so grateful for the gift and blessing of my children's desire and the fire it lights in me!

So, seeing my sis again was awesome.  Meeting her youngest babe (and re-meeting her older two) was simply heavenly.  Enjoying her company as much as I possibly could was a treasure.  I miss her very much.  It's been difficult to bring myself to writing about the joy I felt while with her for the sadness of missing her.  I'm finally doing it now, though.

I'm so grateful that we were blessed by someone who loves us very much to be ABLE to visit my sister.  I can only imagine the sacrifice this person and family made to help us... I'm just so grateful!

My Kitty Kat was the biggest surprise.  Her reaction to General Conference was far and away more wonderful than I ever would've expected.  She was just thrilled to have been there in real life.  When I saw her, during the break between the two sessions, I really thought she would tell me she didn't want to go to the next one.  I was blown away when she practically threw herself at me in a bubbling effusion of excitement and declared, "I LOVE GENERAL CONFERENCE!" almost yelling.  I was shocked and thrilled and still feel an amazing rising of joy whenever I think of it!

I worried about Kat a lot before this trip.  I worried because I felt in her such a huge desire to be like her Daddy (smoking, drinking coffee, drinking tea) that I would lose her to those habits as a teen or older.  I acknowledge that it could still happen.  I'm just not worried about her if it does because now I know she has a solid foundation to which she will return if she does stray.  I felt in that experience after the first session a sort of "game changing".

Ria loved it as she knew she would.  The whole trip fulfilled many items on Ria's bucket list.  I had no idea she HAD a bucket list, but she definitely does.  Visit the mountains, go to General Conference, see the Salt Lake City temple, see the Conference Center, and I think maybe another one or two I can't recall right now.  It's such an honor, as her Mama, to be able to have facilitated the fulfillment of a few items on her list!  Another reason I'm so amazingly grateful to those who helped finance the journey!

Tea and Jmy were cool with the trip.  They didn't seem overly excited about much.  Jmy definitely gravitated more toward the guys (his Uncle and his Uncle's Dad and brother-in-law).  Tea was all about having un with her cousins.  EmJ... well, she didn't want to have anything to do with any adult other than me.  She does tend to be that way, generally.  I was sad that she didn't let my sister (who she was named after) hold her at all.  *sigh*

We loved every bit of our time with my sister and her family.  It was a joy and now joyful memories!

Saturday Soliloquy #32: Our Recent Travels (the way to General Conference)

Ria told me more than a year ago that she wanted to go to SLC, UT for General Conference so much that she was going to earn the money up to take our family there.  She was determined that we would make the trip October 2013.

She didn't earn money as quickly as she expected.  When she did sell a painting (her primary avenue for earning the money for the trip), she turned to me and said, "I'm so excited!  We'll be able to go to General Conference for sure!  I only have to sell a few more paintings!"  I wanted to encourage her, but didn't want to mislead her, so I asked, "How much do you think we need to drive to Utah from here?"  She said, "I don't know.  But we've got almost as much as need now, right?"

Obviously, I need to focus a little more on financial information in her homeschool!  :)

I did inform her about how much the gas would cost and her hopes were dashed.  She said, "Oh!  I don't think I can make that much by next Conference."

By that time, I'd started a business and determined that I would take my girl (children) to SLC for the next General Conference, if at all possible.

I did work hard toward that goal and was able to earn enough to pay to rent a van.  My husband wasn't willing to allow us to drive our own vehicle for concern over it's viability for such a long journey.  However, I did not have or make enough money to pay for the fuel to get to Utah.

We were blessed by a wonderful benefactor who gifted us with enough money to pay for fuel!

So, we departed in the evening of March 31, 2014.

It took right around 24 hours to reach Jessie's Dad's house: Pop.  Jmy was able to meet his name-sake.  That was probably more important to me than anyone else.  It was nice to see and photograph them together.  I'm glad all the children got to spend some time with him.

From there, it took us around 34 more hours to drive to SLC, UT.

I'll share a story or two from that journey, in the future.  For now, though, I have to tell you that I would not recommend doing it in the way I did unless you absolutely must due to circumstances.  And, if you decide to go ahead with it, you should probably make sure you do a few things I did not do before you depart.

First, make sure to get enough sleep and/or take a nap before you leave.  Sleep is really helpful when dealing with 5 children cooped up WAY too long.

Second, if you can afford it, it would probably help to sleep somewhere on a bed.  I like driving at night because the children are sleeping.  It is definitely my preference.  However, I would've liked to sleep on a bed instead of the floor boards of the van.  But circumstances being what they were, the floor was WAY roomier and comfortable than I expected (with both front seats pushed as far UP as possible and both middle seats pushed BACK as much as possible).  And EmJ (almost 10 months old at the time) didn't mind the floor one bit.

Third, let school go while traveling - whether you homeschool of public school, don't worry about school.  Deal with it when you return from the trip.

Fourth, hopefully you can either get off TV entirely (as a regular habit) or "TV/electroncs starve" your children for at least a week (probably better to be longer) before you leave.  (I DID do this one and it's SUPER helpful.)

Fifth, keep sugars ingestion SUPER low before and during the trip.  I was not as mindful of that as I should've been before we left and I definitely paid the pieper for that one.  BLECK.

Finally, if you believe in it, have your favorite priesthood holder (or three) give you and the children blessings.  I did not do that before we left our home, but I did do it before we left Utah... and the two trips were like night and day.  Night on the way there, and day on the way back (day being glorious and wonderful in my opinion).

In the preceding, I alluded to the difficulty of the drive TO Utah.  Honestly, though, I cannot figure out how to adequately describe how horrible it was.  Hellacious doesn't cover it.  Seriously bad.

I took my own advice on all points above for the trip back to our house.  So, I'm sharing from experience!

Next time I'll share about our time IN Utah!  :)

Saturday Soliloquy #30: Before We Were Married

Before Jessie and I got married, we were engaged for almost 2 years (by my count).  During that time, Jessie went on a 6-month cruise and I went to Australia as an exchange student.  It was also during that period of time that September 11th happened (while I was in Australia).  You can read a tiny bit about that here.

It's interesting to remember how long it seemed to take to get to our wedding day!  It seemed interminable.  It definitely wasn't, of course, but it sure seemed that way.

We planned everything for our wedding.  I'll tell you all about that next, probably.  We scheduled everything together.  I thought it was a great experience of increasing unity and our ability to work together.  I am very decisive most of the time and some folks don't like that much.  Thankfully Jessie did.

Before we were married, we spend all the time together that we could.  Of course we did.  We believed we were deeply in love.  It's interesting how perspective is altered after 10+ years of marriage.  Very interesting.

Saturday Soliloquy #29: When We Said, "I Love You" and Another Big Deal

It was right around two weeks into the relationship that we told each other, "I love you."  It wasn't all that big a deal, I think... but it was Valentine's Day... or maybe the day before.  Anyway... I think that was THE only truly special Valentine's Day ever for me.  Jessie may have done something for one or two Valentine's Days after that, but not really since then.  ahwell

Add another few weeks to get us to two months together... we were talking and somehow ended up in his bathroom.  I was upset about something.  Then we were talking about our relationship and getting married.  He was sitting on the toilet (on top of the lid) and I was sitting on his lap facing the tank of the toilet.  That was some time in March of 2000.

As far as I'm concerned, that March is when we got engaged because we set our wedding date: December 31, 2002.  That's when we gathered all our friends and family together for our wedding.  It was lots of fun.

I didn't get a rink at that time.  He "proposed" with a ring the Christmas after I returned from Australia.  That was nice, I guess... but it felt uncomfy for me because it was with his family and I'd only just met them.

Saturday Soliloquy #28: Introducing My Mr. to My Family

Exercise was a big part of my life when I met Jessie.  I heard from his roommates that it was not a big part of Jessie's life.  Still, he wanted to hang out with me, I guess, because he agreed to come to the gym with me and my Mom.  So, he met my Mom within the first two days.

Very early on, he also met the rest of my family when I invited Jessie to where I lived in my parents' house.  He had a friend drive him because there was something wrong with his truck.

I saw that Jessie was shy at that point.  I thought it was sorta weird because he hadn't seemed shy at all to me.  He really didn't speak at all.  He answered questions that were directed at him, but he didn't volunteer any information.  I now understand why he does this, but back then I saw it simply as a manifestation of the shyness he'd told me about, but I hadn't experienced when it was just the two of us.

Perhaps it was the second visit to my parents' house when I decided that he was either going to sink or swim among my folks.  My family is pretty important to me.  And we tend to be a bit loud and fun and direct and can sometimes overwhelm others.  So, I left Jessie in the livingroom with some of my family to go do something that I didn't need to do because I wanted to see if he could deal with my family without me.

He didn't real deal with them much.  He continued to only answer questions directed at him, but he also didn't entirely sink, as it were, either.  I'm pretty sure it was after that visit that my Mom said a few things to Jessie.  My Mom was shy when she was young.  She told Jessie, "I like shy people!  No, I really do!  The world needs Toris.  It does.  But the world needs why people, too.  Who would pay attention to Tori if there were no shy people?"  hehehe

I'm pretty sure some who haven't known me very long may find that an odd thing to say.  You just haven't known me long.  I used to be very different than I am now.  Very very different.

Jessie really liked what my Mom said to him.  He told me, "I really like your Mom."  I wasn't surprised.  My Mom is really likeable.

Saturday Soliloquy #27: How I Met My Husband: The In-Real-Life Part

You'll have to read LAST WEEK's post to really follow this one.

I always went early to meet the guys I agreed to meet from matchmaker.com.  That way I could feel comfy and greet them.  It worked very well for me.  I'm still a bit like that, I think.  I'm pretty sure my time obsession (being on time) is a result of my time in Japan!

 So, I was seated in the waiting area.  I did wander around a bit, too.  He was late.  Not horribly late, but I did wonder if he was going to stand me up, too.  I'm relatively sure my fragile ego couldn't have stood up to that again.

I knew him when I saw him.  He looked very much like his profile picture.  That was a relief.  I'd met a few guys who looked NOTHING like their profile pictures.  Seriously, NOTHING like their picture.

When he came in, I hugged him.  I was very much into hugging back then.  I still like them a lot, but rarely initiate much any more.  I have loads of sort of sensory issues, so hugging can sometimes be a bit painful in a way that's difficult to describe to anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about by just the way I've already described it.

I told the waitress who seated us to seat us in the smoking section.  I knew Jessie was a smoker and he'd told me how shy he was, so I wanted to make sure he'd be comfy.  He definitely was, as I never felt any indication that he was shy at all.  (I've definitely seen manifestations of that since then!)

As soon as he sat down, I gave him a gift.  He'd turned 21 while underway, so I gave him a birthday present when we first met.  It was Chicken Soup for the Writer's Soul.  I thought we had that in common (he said he liked to write).  I'd already read the book and loved it.  I made a cover for it, decorated with my lettering and some of my poems.  I also wrote in the book (some of my poems, too).  How silly a girl I was... and SO trusting!

He was very touched by the book.  I think I even saw some wetness gather in his eyes.  He told me no one had given him a gift and he couldn't remember if anyone wished him a happy birthday, either.

Yes, I was a thoughtful person.  Still am.

We talked for hours.  I talked a lot, it's true, but he talked a lot, too.

The only reason our date ended was because I decided I must get home so that I could wake up and go for my run.  I was running somewhere around 6 miles each day when I met Jessie.  I was pretty healthy and fit at that time in my life.  The smallest size 10 I've ever been.

I wish I'd continued to care for myself first... to take care of my body temple instead of waiting for him all the time.  Now, I'm a tight size 20 and XLG in my clothes and weigh a good bit more than 200 pounds (and I've shed some excess recently).  If you read my Super Sunday Slimdown, you can find out the exact numbers if you're really curious.

If we did anything before leaving, I think we may have hugged.  No kiss.  Just another hug.  That was very nice.  Definitely soothed my concern over the wrong answer he gave in the multiple choice section!

Saturday Soliloquy #26: How I Met My Husband: The Online Story

Before I went to Japan, I tried out matchmaker.com and thought it was pretty fun.  I met a few guys that were nice and went on a few dates.  So, when I returned to the US it was only natural that I would use the same service.  I was hoping to find a fella with whom I could hang out and kiss.  Man, what a silly girl I was.  Still, that truly was my 'goal' for online dating.  I didn't understand then what I understand now about the spirit connections formed in any sort of sexual interaction.  Kissing, whether folks want to admit it or not, is most definitely a sexual interaction.

I'll share more about that later.  If you'd like to read what I have learned about that subject, make sure to let me know.  Requesting more on that topic will sure speed my sharing on it.  This post is meant to be about how I met Jessie.

I was stood up twice after I came back to the US.  Jessie was going to be my last try at hanging out before I went to Australia.  I'd decided that maybe my Host Family (in Japan) was right.  Maybe I was Christmas Cake and no guy (no one) would want me.  Man, you should see what I looked like back then.  For me to believe such a thing is absolutely ridiculous... but I did!  Which, really reveals SO much about how much I thought of myself.

Jessie found me through matchmaker.com and wrote to me.  I had established a few rules for myself.  At the time that I used matchmaker.com, they had a few different areas for each profile.  There was the multiple choice, short answer, and long answer.  I filled mine out absolutely truthfully.  Although I knew it was unlikely that most told the truth as I did, I attempted to treat them as if they did.

One of the rules I'd established for myself was that if a fella answered one particular question wrong, I wouldn't write to him.  The question was: "What are you looking for?"  The choices (since it was in the multiple choice section) included things like: "long-term relationship, just for fun, one night stand."  I hope you can determine which answer was unacceptable to me.

Well, Jessie had answered with the wrong answer.  He had answered that PARTICULAR question with the wrong answer.

The funny thing... with every other guy I'd met through matchmaker.com, they always asked to meet me really fast.  Not Jessie.  In fact, I asked to meet HIM!  You know what he said?  He told me he had to do laundry because they were going out to sea for two weeks!  (Sounds a bit like when a girl says she has to wash her hair, so she can't go out.)

I told him I'd write to him in email while he was gone.  He didn't believe me.

But I did.

The night he returned, I was out with another guy.

Yes, I was that cute!  heeheehee

Anyway... I went out with that other guy just because I was bored, honestly.  I wanted to go out, he offered, and so I went.  Unfortunately, I didn't REALLY understand how much he liked me.  And I didn't deal with him very well... I wasn't blunt and direct (as I usually am).  In fact, I was a coward in the way I dealt with him after that night.  He brought a friend to meet me because he liked me THAT much.  That, of course, scared me off because I truly was looking for just a fun friend to hang out with and maybe kiss sometimes.

When I returned from hanging out with that guy and his friend, I found that Jessie had called and was so annoyed with myself.  To give me credit, though, their ship had pulled in early.  Jessie wasn't due back until the following day.

I attempted to call him back.  No answer.  They were using the internet and those were the days when a phone line was almost always tied up to use the internet!  Can you imagine that?  I tried repeatedly to call him back.

Somehow we finally connected and made a plan to meet at the Denny's I'd worked at on Newtown Road.

Saturday Soliloquy #25: Traveling up the Coast

I remember Karratha only by name.  I spent a night in Broome.  And another night in Darwin.  Darwin was my shortest stay of all my stops around the north of Oz.  All I remember about Darwin is thinking that it looked very American and how disappointing that was.

Probably I already mentioned it, but since it would've happened here, I'm going to mention it again.  I wanted to travel to Alice Springs and see Ayer's Rock, but I didn't have time to travel south as far as I'd need to go and get back to Sydney for my flight.  I learned from other travelers that it looked NOTHING like it was "supposed" to look the year I was there.  Instead of being rather barren red rock, it basically looked like a very large green hill (or series of hills).  Very strange, eh?

I remember Cairns. To my memory it was a very beachy sort of city... pastel colors all around.  It was very cool, but didn't seem "Australian" per se to me.  I remember this building, but not the roos (or statues of) in the square.  The scene shown in this picture is a bit familiar, too.

Townsville was a pass-through I remember, though I don't remember anything specific about the place.

I spent the night in Brisbane.  I do not really remember much of anything about it, though.  Another pastel beach city, maybe.

And then back to Sydney.

I don't remember if I did it the first time I was there, or the last, but I did take a trip out to the Blue Mountains.  It was pretty cool.  Our driver was fun.  We got to try our hand at a whip.  That was a lot more difficult than it looked!  I wasn't able to crack it at all.  Dang it!  I do think the Blue Mountains trip was during the last few days I spent in Sydney.  Other than that, and shopping for gifts to give when I returned (Omiyagei), I don't remember anything specific about Sydney (from the last time I was there).

All in all, my time in Oz was very good for me.  I'm very glad I did it.

Saturday Soliloquy #24: While at School in Perth

While I was at school in Perth, I had some very interesting experiences connected to the 9-11 attacks on US soil.  Suffice it to say, I believe I needed to be in Australia during that time.  I needed to be taking a creative writing and a studio art class.  Both of those classes, combined with conversations with my Mom, friends there in Oz, and my (now) husband kept me from falling off the side of the world in my own head.

Jessie was my fiance at the time.  I flew back to the states to surprise him when he returned from his 6 month cruise.  Then I flew back to Oz to finish my semester and travels.

The semester ended fine and my travels were a bit of a whirlwind.  Not very many memories that are very clear.  But I definitely circumnavigated the island continent!

Upon leaving Perth to return to Sydney and fly back to the States for the last time, I stopped at Monkey Mia.  It was lovely there.  I was unwise, though, and ended up with a horrible sunburn.  Try to imagine carrying REALLY heavy backpacks with a horrible burn... three backpacks, to be exact.  At this point, I really don't know how I managed that!

Monkey Mia was lovely.  I remember lots of pelicans and the dolphin that came with her calf.  I rather think she considers herself a bit of an Ambassador.  The whole experience would've been much better to be there with someone, but still.

Saturday Soliloquy #23: My Dorm

My dorm was a single story apartment with 6 bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, and two bathrooms.  The boys had 1 bathroom and the girls another (thankfully!).  In my apartment/dorm we had 3 guys and 3 girls.  I was, of course, one of the girls (USA, in case you're not sure) and the other two chicas were both from Malaysia.  The guys were from Oz, Taiwan, and Norway.  For the most part, we all got along fine.  There were some problems that were severe at the time, but through the glasses of time and age and far more troubling tribulation since, we got along well, all things considered.

This is a pretty accurate representation of the living area of the dorm.

The next photo is also a really accurate representation of what my individual room looked like:

 

And this shows the outside as I remember it!

 

 photos from the site for the dorms!

Saturday Soliloquy: #22: My Uni (Campus Joondaloop)

My school, Edith Cowan, was/is beautiful.  And the campus I lived very near is located in a very nice neighborhood.

One of the interesting things about that neighborhood were the fences.  I actually did a study on that in my art class for my final project in that course.  The variety was amazing and wonderful!  There are lots of fences around houses in the States, I know, but the VARIETY around the houses near my school was really amazing.

I loved the art studio on the campus.  I know that art and writing helped me amazingly while I was there, so it's a huge blessing of that time of my life that I took the courses I took while there because I didn't technically "need" most of them for my degree.  Life is awesome and it's wonderful to see how things work out when we have the clarify of 20/20 vision that is possible when we look into the past, isn't it!?

I do NOT remember my campus looking like this when I attended, but it has been MANY moons since I was there.  How cool would this be to see upon entry!!??

I DO remember the library.  Also very nice looking, don't you think!?

Beautiful, right?!!??  I did love the asthetics of it all.  Similar, yet also very different from what I'm used to.  :)

Photos from Wikipedia.

Saturday Soliloquy #21: Perth

It was a LONG ride from Adelaide to Perth.  My school, Edith Cowan University was in Perth, so I had to get there!  I honestly don't remember anything about that ride.  It's just a pop into Perth.

Perth was nice.  Very cool and UN-drivable city center.  It was specifically set up for walking to shop.  I liked that a great deal.

I remember finding it amazing and wonderful to investigate all the shops down little alleys.  I felt the old anxiety about getting lost that I felt in Japan (like when I drew a circle) and actually thought I was lost a few times.  It was such a blessing to find myself again (never was lost, after all!) and realize that the downtown area was really quite navigable and relatively difficult to REALLY get lost in.  What a gift THAT!

photo from Jakarta Post

One of the many things I loved about Perth were the awesome sidewalk art!  There were some that looked REALLY unusual and others (like these roos) that were really representative of Oz, in general.

Photo Credit: Afar

Saturday Soliloquy #16



It's been a while since I was able to work on this series.  I hope to have it here for a while now.  :)

Now on to Australia.  Those are stories my eldest daughter asks for second only to Japan.  Japan is basically done, so... here we are.

My plane took off for Australia about a year after I left for Japan.  I met my future husband about a month after I got back to the states from Australia (January 2011).  He departed for a 6 month deployment a couple months before I left for Australia (in May 2011).    I departed at the end of July.

Before I left for Oz, I planned out my whole trip from flight to arrival in Perth (the city of my school: Edith Cowan).  I purchased a pass for bus travel anywhere on the continent (only caveat: you can not go back once you've gone in one direction unless going back the way you've come is the only option).

I flew into Sydney.  I was blessed by some of my luggage being lost on the trip.  I didn't feel totally blessed until I was out and walking in the city... then I realized what a hassle it would've been to have ALL of my stuff with me.  As it was, my hiking packs barely fit into the locker I paid for until I could check into my room.

I stayed at a Hostel very near the center of town.  Yes, hostel.  Not hotel.  The main difference is that a hostel is more for community than a hotel.  Sometimes, you share rooms with others.  Usually, you have to pick up your linens when you check in, make your own bed.  The don't usually provide towels or any other toiletries (though some do have toilet paper).  The kitchens are communal with lockers in which you can keep your own food.  Anything you keep in the fridge, you must label or it's up for grabs.  There is a whole room intended for hangout out and getting to know others.  Often, a TV is in that room.  Maybe wifi.  It was very cool.

Stay Tuned for more next week!  :)

Saturday Soliloquy #13

Some of my favorite things about Japan include many daily practices.  I loved the entry way in my Host Family’s home.  It was quite large.  Basically it was a transitional sort of area of the home… even those you may not invite into the inner parts of your home could enter and converse with you in the entry room.  There were many things in this room of my Host Family’s home, but I don’t remember all the details.  The main things I remember are that #1 the entry level of the floor change right before you went into the house… it raised up about 8-12 inches from the level of the first front door to the level of the door into the home.  Before anyone entering could step up to the inner home level, it was expected that one should remove the shoes worn outside and put on some house slippers.  My Host Family had house slippers for each person, but also had lots of extra visitor slippers.  I loved that.

I also really loved that my host family had a whole smallish room for the toilet.  This room was a bit sunk down and the practice was to remove house slippers, put on the toilet room slippers (that everyone shared), use the toilet, and then exit, leaving the toilet room slippers ready for the next person to enter (not exactly convenient for the person exiting), and putting house slippers back on.  The toilet room was entirely separate from the room that had the sinks and there was no door between the two.  I didn’t realize, until the end of my time in Japan, that my Host Family’s toilet had a hand-washing sink on the back of it… every time one flushed, clean water ran so you could wash your hands.  Very cool.  Unfortunately, I went from the toilet room to the sink room every time after I used the toilet.  The room in which we took showers and baths was through a door in the sink room.  The bathing room was very cool.  It was one level onto which you stepped upon entering the room and then you stepped up to step down into the tub.  The shower spigot was a few feet away from the awesome tub so you could wash and rinse without getting any rinse water into the hot deep tub.  The tub was amazing.  It was re-circulated water kept hot by a heater that was part of the whole set-up.  I could sit in it and the water was up to my chest.  I could also stretch my legs out straight in front of me.  I could not lie down unless I bent my legs… but I was happy to just sit and soak.  I loved the baths!

I got a cold while in Japan and my Host Mother immediately put me on a schedule of dinner, bath, hot tea and off to bed.  It seemed a little silly to me, but that was one time I whipped through a cold much faster than was typically normal for me.  I’m sure the tea she gave was helpful, too… though I’m not sure what it was.  It also felt quite nice to be so carefully taken care of.  It seems that I’m generally perceived as a pretty tough chick… so it’s rare enough that anyone attempts to take care of me or be protective of me.  But I am a woman… and we all want to feel cherished and lovingly cared for… at least sometimes.  Anyway… it was nice to be cared for by my Host Mom.  And it definitely helped!

I also liked that the part of the school I attended expected us to remove our shoes to enter the main part of the building.  The rest of the campus wasn’t like that, but I’m glad my little building was!

The bike parking area near the train station I rode to from my Host Family’s home was quite cool.  There were bike racks, but no one used chains or anything else like that to lock up their bikes.  There were neat little keyed or coded locks that stuck the tire in place somehow.  I think it was more because the people were full of integrity, but being careful didn’t hurt either, I’m sure.  The little parking lot I used was attended by a security guard, too.  Very neat.

Saturday Soliloquy #12

Another experience you simply cannot understand unless you’ve experienced it in Japan is Karaoke.  In the U.S.A. Karaoke, as I’ve seen it, is a caricature of that which exists in its country of origin!  In Japan there are Karaoke businesses.  These are buildings dedicated to Karaoke.  When you go, you usually go with a group.  You and your group are brought to a room fitted with seats, a table, a big screen and a method of choosing your songs to which you’ll sing.  You are assigned a waitress and can order appetizers and alcohol.  There may be places that have meals as well as appetizers, but I didn’t experience any.

Along with Karaoke, it’s interesting to note that drinking alcohol is a completely different thing in Japan compared to the US as well.  I mean, for instance, you can purchase humungous cans of beer from automated machines (like soda machines).  That is a whole thing in itself, too, the whole automated dispenser-thing!

Regarding alcohol, it seemed very much that there was not any stigma attached to the consumption of it.  The only problem that arose (socially speaking) as far as I could tell and was told, was if someone who drank was a mean drunk in public.  Otherwise it seemed like alcohol was viewed simply as a means to an end.  For instance, I learned it was pretty common practice for a boss to go out drinking with his employees for the express purpose that his employees might see him as a regular person and not the mean “bottom line” guy he has to be at work.  It was definitely seen as a social lubricant in Japan far more than I’ve ever known it to be accepted in the US.

As for the automated dispensers… well, if you can imagine that it might work in such a machine, I’m absolutely certain the Japanese could tell you if it works out as practically as it does in theory!  Seriously.  In addition to beer (and other alcohol to a lesser extent), you could find pantyhose, magazines, food, porn, movies, and more in such machines.  I’m absolutely certain I did not see as wide a variety of them as there are, in fact, available to be seen and purchased from.

Another automated sort of thing that was very different in Japan is that there were numerous video game/gaming spots.  Within each such place, you’re sure to find a mini-photo booth.  When I went to Japan, these photo booth pictures were popular enough that most of the tiny planners have a few pages specially dedicated to and made for them.  I heard, also, that there was a bit of trading of them that was popular.  They sure were fun!  The photo booths were one of my favorite activities, actually.  They could be found almost everywhere, not just in gaming places.

Although I didn’t experience it at all, there were also specific places for various forms of gambling.  Pachinko is one I can think of right off the top of my head.  I can’t tell you any more than the name because I never went in or played.  But I can tell you those shops/buildings/places were VERY well lit and noisy.  Regular shops were also lit well, but these gambling houses were almost TOO well lit.  This seems almost a direct opposite of the same sorts of places in the US… though I’ve never personally been to one in the US… I’m just basing that on what I’ve heard about them and seen in movies.

Saturday Soliloquy #11

When I went to Japan, I had very little understanding of the culture into which I was stepping.  I didn’t know what to expect in most instances.  One thing I thought I would understand without too much problem was the food.  I knew I loved sushi.  What more could I need to know?  Well, as it happens… a lot!

For instance… in Japan there are often displays of the kind of food prepared in a given restaurant.  You look at them and choose and then place your order.  Well, my first experience of this was rather embarrassing.  I thought the display was the food from which I should select… yes, some of the fake food looks THAT real.  So, I picked up the display and brought it along to where I thought I should pay for it.  There was much confusion – especially complicated by the fact that I spoke very little and understood probably less Japanese at the time of this incident.  Thankfully, when I went to Japan the Japanese were (still are from all I understand) so super polite that they would not make fun of me or laugh in my face as an American employee in the same situation would more than likely do.  I rarely blush.  But I think I must’ve been quite pink in the cheeks over that one!  I sure felt flushed!

Another difference that was quite fun is the sushi bars.  You think you know sushi bars, huh?  Have you BEEN to Japan?  Okay, I hear a no.  Well, then, my friend, you have NO clue.  Not all, I’m sure, but perhaps most of the sushi bars in Japan are far cooler than anything your experience can convey.  Convey.  Conveyor.  Conveyor belt.  Can you imagine little plates of sushi moving along a little conveyor belt either #1 from the kitchen, through a little plastic flap door, around your table, and back through another door into the kitchen or #2 on a conveyor belt circling endlessly around the sushi chef(s)?  Can you imagine it?  Well, if you can not, let me know and I’ll try to more adequately describe it for you!  It was awesome!  One thing about these sushi bars is that the sushi itself is priced based on what kind of plate it is sitting on.  If you’re not familiar with the pricing… well, it can get pretty steep pretty fast.  And they do have drinks on some of these conveyor belts… and those are stupid expensive.  And yes, it is upsetting and embarrassing to find out how much more expensive after you’ve selected one only to find out you really didn’t have permission to do that… but wasn’t told so from the outset.  *sigh* One of the problems of passive aggressive communication practices… and that’s basically almost all Japanese.

I’ve already mentioned the Korean BBQ restaurant.  That was super cool.  I sure would love to find something like that around these parts.  Highly unlikely, though, I’m sure… given that the nearest town to me is only of medium size… definitely not a megopolis or anything like that.

The other coolness that I especially loved was the Chinese restaurant my Host Family took me out to with some friends.  I definitely had the STRONG feeling of being their pet on display on that outing.  None-the-less, it was a great restaurant experience.  So, it was a Chinese place.  Our party had a room to itself.  Cool, I’m thinking.  There were two main tables.  I was put at the children’s table, which I’m sure was intended as a mean thing, but though I could feel that, I preferred to be among the younger folks.  In the middle of each table was a ginormous lazy susan.  Food was places on the lazy susans and we all selected food from the lazy susans to put on our own little plates and then eat.  It was very cool.  And though I do not remember any of the food items specifically, I did enjoy it quite a lot.  And the effort of the youth to include me in conversation and try to get to know me was quite nice, too… definitely experience far more of that among them than the adults among whom I “should’ve” been seated.  Boy, I’m glad I was insulted by being seated among the youth!  J

The final note about food is one that I’m pretty sure translates across all cultures.  I’m not absolutely certain on this, but I’m pretty sure given the natures of those involved are pretty static across cultures.  I reference the way that my Okaasan (Host Mother) spent hours preparing various foods so that my Otousan (Host Father) could enjoy the glory of preparing them at the table.  This was not a daily practice, but, rather, what happened for those meals that, apparently, my Otousan enjoyed fixing for the family.  All praise was directed toward the father even though all he did was nicely put the work together and then serve it.  Hmmmm…  Sound familiar?  This is not the primary mode of food preparation in my home, as my husband is a Chef… but there are times and it does annoy.  A common experience of this I can immediately think of is the “traditional” Thanksgiving dinner in many American homes.  My Host Mother seemed fine with it, though I think she did appreciate that I thanked her for preparing all the items used in dinner.

Saturday Soliloquy #10

Japan Continues

(I'm sorry to have missed last week.  I've been having some personal life difficulties and haven't felt able to write about my life.  I'm one of those lame writers.)

Most gaijin (foreigners/cave people) stand out in some way or another.  Often, it is obvious by the foreigner’s appearance.  This was certainly the case for me.  At the time that I went to Japan, I was 5’3” tall, wearing about a size 18 pants, white blond hair, blue eyes, and slightly tan skin (which was super pale next to most Nihonjin: Japanese).  Given my appearance, I definitely wasn’t able to blend into any crowd.  I did stand out like a sore thumb.  Thankfully, Japanese are very polite and didn’t stare overtly.  I know that stalkers choose their focal obsession for many reasons.  I’m pretty sure my stalker in Japan chose me simply because I was so different looking.  My friends didn’t believe me when I first told them I had a stalker.  I felt a little bit like maybe I was imagining the whole situation.  But then he staled me when we (my friends and I) were together.  They were blown away and asked all kinds of questions about the situation and my seeming lack of concern over it.  It was very strange, I’ll freely admit, to see the same guy at numerous train stations who was obviously watching me in a very polite, Japanese, way.  But I was never actually afraid of him because I didn’t feel any alarms go off concerning him.  Now, one of my girlfriends was actually harassed by a Japanese man… he managed to mess with her skirt as she was riding home one day.  She was, rightfully, freaked out and I had the opportunity to feel extremely thankful that “my stalker” hadn’t come near me as far as I was able to tell.

Among my friends was a nice looking fella.  Danny is 6’ or so, thin, blue eyes, and at the time had waist length blond wavy hair.  Once, when he and I were out and about with our other friends during the afternoon or day time I observed that Japanese seemed really comfortable with him.  I even saw a number of different Japanese reach out and touch his hair.  I had never experienced anything like that – at least, nothing that was purposefully done in that sort of intentional way I observed them do with him.  This was puzzling to me at the time, but I’ve come to understand it as a clear demonstration of what protects me.  People just did not feel able to reach out to me.  This is generally true as well, I think.

I conducted at least one social experiment while I was in Japan, but I honestly do not remember any details!  I keep hoping to find/get my hands on a copy of the newsletter series I wrote while there, but haven’t just yet.  If I do, I’ll definitely share about that!

As a foreigner, there are certain things I was not expected to either know, know about, or like.  I’m grateful for this list, really, because it enabled me to coast a bit more given that I didn’t know a lot and I did NOT know ABOUT a lot!  Among the things I was expected not to know about or like were many food items.  Taco, nato, cow’s tongue were a few of the food items I was expected not to know about or like.  There were others, but I just don’t remember them.  As for taco… that’s octopus, I love/loved it!  My host family considered me baka da gaijin for this strangeness… that’s “silly foreigner” to be nice.  I did not previously know about nato and I did not like it.  I think, in a way, this was a relief to my host family.  Nato is fermented soy beans.  It has a horrid smell and amazingly snotty texture and… well, I just didn’t like it one bit.  As for cow’s tongue… that was a sneak attack!

My family took me to a Korean BBQ restaurant.  It was a really cool experience!  In the table of our booth there was an actual little BBQ.  My Host Father did the cooking honors (for as long as he wanted them, at least) and we enjoyed quite a bit of BBQ.  My family was always amazed at how much I ate and could eat.  They purchased numerous plates of meat and some veggies and we ate them all up.  There were numerous types of meat offered and served.  One of them they prepared and served me with, as I could see in hind-sight, special attention on me and my reactions.  I loved it!  It was “oishiidesu” and I told them so (delicious).  It took a little while for the question from them to me to come together in a way I could understand completely.  They were asking if I knew what it was.  Nope.  Then they told me, “It is cow’s tongue.”  They were, all four of them, paying close attention to my reaction.  I thought about it for a second and told them, “Okay, well, it’s still delicious!!”  They were shocked!  Then they asked if I wanted more and I told them that if there was more I would love it.  Again: shocked!  But it WAS delicious and learning which of the many muscles I’d eaten didn’t change that.  Anyway… it was pretty funny all around.  Much laughter about this at the table that evening… and I’m sure they told their friends what a strange foreigner I was and referenced my many odd behaviors with special emphasis on the foods I loved that were not meant to be well-favored by gaijin.

Saturday Soliloquy #9

I also began running while in Japan.  Running helped me control those anxious feelings.  I was able to lock them into thoughtlessness while I focused on breathing… I did not have an easy time running… as I was and had ever been relatively unhealthy and overweight.  However, while in Japan I shed many pounds and sizes.  My jeans, which fit pretty tightly upon my arrival, were hanging off of me when I returned to the USA.  How?  Why?  Many factors played into the weightloss.  One of the most important factors that impacted my weight was that activity was built into my whole day almost every day in Japan.  I rode my bike to the train station (about 15-20 minutes).  Then I walked little bits here and there between trains.  Then I walked about 25-30 minutes to school.  During the day at school there was often much walking going on (like to a grocery nearby to buy nashi).  And if we did anything after classes, we walked to get there.  To get home, I walked, walked a little and then biked.  That was 5 days each week.  Saturdays usually involved quite a bit of walking to go sight seeing, too.

Also, my okaasan was very controlling of the food.  She was shocked, I think, at how much I ate and limited my food consumption at home.  I ate breakfast and dinner there during the school week and, often, three meals on Saturdays and Sundays.  I often awoke feeling hungry in the night, but didn’t feel comfortable to go to the refrigerator to get anything to eat.  I definitely would not recommend THAT part of the weight loss.  Feeling hungry almost all the time just is NOT a comfortable feeling!

I think another factor that played into all of it was that the food was made differently.  Even breads and chocolate was less calorie dense.  That may also be part of why I was always hungry.  Who knows.

All told, I went from a snug size 16 to around a tight size 10 while I lived in Japan.  I liked the size I attained, but I didn’t like feeling hungry.  I sure would like to have activity built into my life that way again, but think it unlikely that I’ll ever get back to Japan.  I sure loved it while I was there, though!

Why?  Well, come back next week to read more and maybe find out a few reasons I loved it so well.