Just One More Minute More

And this one is meant to be
spent in telling me children
how much I love them.

How very glad I have always been
that I was given them and allowed
to be their Mama.

I would not be able to speak
individually.
I'd try to speak to Ria and Kat.

They, together, might be able
to remember my words
for the rest.

I'd hug the littlest close,
while hugging my older girls
with my words and my eyes.

Then I'd grab them up
and hold them near
until whatever end arrived.

How could I ever say all
that I might want to say?
I won't.  I couldn't.

That's why I say it daily.
A little bit here.
A lot there.

Making sure,
with my parents, husband and children
that there would be no need for three last minutes.

They know how I love them
cherish them
and am eternally grateful for them.

And if they don't.
They simply
have not been listening.

They have not heard my words.
Or understood my actions.
They have not comprehended.

For every day,
I try throughout
and in ever way!

To say in kind and
directing (raise 'em up good) tones
to convey pure love.

I am not God.
But I strive to be
Love.

Much Ado About Faith

Just because the culture of our day
says it's a-okay
doesn't mean it really is.
For it's all just part of the biz.
The business of sin
where no one does win.

Just because the majority accept it as all-right
doesn't mean righteousness should go down without a fight#.
They say those who stand up for what they believe
are haters, bigots, nuts, and more than I can conceive.
Even though my heart feels absolutely no hate,
they call out these words and continue to berate.

Just because those who believe strongly enough to stand firm
refuse to back down and accept wrong made into a new term.
For they strive to make wrong into right.
Yet they cannot see what they do, for it's out of their sight.
Spiritual eyes wide shut against truth and God's Way.
In the future not far hence, this will be as past issues are now, so they say.

Yet truth is and will always, truth, be.
And God is the same from times past and into eternity.
For one eternal round really means what it means.
And though evil would like to rip truth at it's seams,
God will always conquer and win the day.
Whether evil says no, or, "Yes, you may."

Thankfully, our God is Love
and tolerates so much foolishness there, up above.
And will tolerate ever so much more
until Christ's return and what comes before.
Until then it'll get worse until all things align,
but that doesn't mean it will be steady decline.

For you see, the program allows for lots of change
His return will certainly happen within a definite range.
But innumerable factors can alter
the course of time and yet cause not a falter*.
Which is why only God, the Father, knows
when Christ shall appear once more, so it goes.

For He, our Father God, is the most amazing author of a book.
Who sits down and makes a plan for his story somewhere in a nook.
He knows the end from the beginning
the ones that make us frown and those that leave us grinning.
If you've ever heard an author speak who was inspired,
they were surprised by some character or another's  actions unrequired.

A character seemed to take over the show.
To write its own story, don't you know.
But though the character may seem to have gotten away,
in the end, the author's purposes they inherently obey.
That's how we can change things, too.
By action or inaction, it's up to me and you.

The day is not set.
But ever so real is the threat.
Impending doom
over us does loom.
Nazis are nothings compared
we must all become prepared.

Changes are necessary to be made.
They cannot be a moment delayed.
"What changes?" I hear you ask.
The answer is quite a task.
For no one likes to not belong.
Yet I know right is right, not wrong.

And so I must now declare the truth:
Repent now whether an adult or in your youth.
Repent ye and turn from your wicked ways.
Before the beginning of the true end of days.
For the seven year tribulation is not yet begun
and as of now, we can yet, it, outrun.

Or, at least it might thus seem so.
For by righteousness we can slow
the ticking of the celestial clock.
I'm serious here, do not mock.
We can lengthen out the days
by turning once more to belief in His Ways.

Believe in God and declare it.
Say it straight, or with witt.
Stand tall and imoveable in righteousness,
do not ignore the call and become useless.
Turn to God with full purpose of heart.
Learn and then fully do your part.

He has a purpose for you.
Certainly you know it's true.
Learn and strengthen your faith in His Word.
Join this new and everlasting herd.
For we are His sheep.
And the good Shepherd does, us, always keep.

Be ye Baptised who will bear the name of our God.
If ye are willing to bear one another's burdens, don't just nod.
Go ahead and do it, commit and take the plunge.
Learn of His love, accept it, absorb it like a sponge.
Then shine it forth until all the nations.
Become one of God's Love Light stations.

Like a power generator of sorts.
It's an awesome rush, by all reports.
But it takes Faith, Hope, and Charity.
The three together within one human is a rarity.
But by trusting God and turning fully to Him,
He'll fill you full, right up to the brim.

Oh, baptism and the laying on of hands
by those in authority is one of God's commands.
Where to find it, one might wonder, I know.
You'll have to take a seat before, your mind, I blow.
It's found in the form of one church on this earth.
It's been here since before your birth.

The Church of Jesus Christ is a part of its name.
of Latter-Day Saints (that's the end), one and the same.
It's got the most truth, don't you know.
It took me a while, but I testify it's so.
Pray for yourself, don't trust me!
God will answer, just you wait and see.

Once you know for yourself the truth that I've shared,
You'll realize how much of myself I have, here, bared.
And the concern and the worries I've felt in the doing.
But I feel compelled of the Lord to put it out there for viewing.
In hopes and with faith that the Lord can use me in my weakness.
For all that's good in me is Christ, I say in all meekness.

Let us unite in His wondrous name.
Stop calling out what is not my blame.
I do not hate simply because I stand by my Faith.
The accusation of such hangs in my heart like a wraith.
Join me in Love and standing for truth and right.
God will ever supports us with His might.



*falter: noun: the act of pausing uncertainly, verb: be unsure or weak

#by "fight" I do not mean actively fighting with physical punches or weapons, but, rather, I mean firmly standing against the onslaught of that which is wrong.

Linked Up

Give

give until it hurts

give some more and even more

now that's enough, die

We See Too Little

With our eyes wide shut,
we see too little.
And we mislabel smut.

We cannot bear the thought
that we do not know
what we think we ought.

The shadows rule.
Ever more overtly
they use us as a tool.

The powers that be
darken the world.
Until only they can see.

They cannot bear the Light.
But if they can only bring
a permanent night....

And what are we to do?
Other than shut closed our minds.
We think those who know are too few.

Given the signs of the times,
perhaps there is nothing we can do...
and nothing more rhymes.

Irish Birthday Wishes I Love For My Dad

May the most you wish for is the least you get!

May the good Lord take a liking to ya, but not too soon!

May big headaches and little fevers be always far from you.

May you live as long as you want, And never want as long as you live.

May the Lord keep you in His hand, And ...never close His fist too tight.

We drink to your coffin. May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.
May you live to be a hundred years, With one extra year to repent!

May you be joyful on this special day and always after!! (That one's just from the mind of Tori... ya know, I'm a little Irish, too. ^_^)

I hope you have a gread day, Dad!  Happy Birthday!

Finding Joy in the "Joy"ney

I had a nice talk with a friend.  She was feeling a little sad, I think.  I'm pretty sure she was feeling a bit overwhelmed by life and the difficulty of it.

I tried to convey to her that I think most women (and really, most humans) feel the way she was telling me she felt.  And that everyone struggles and feels frustrated at times.  She expressed frustration with the truth: but they don't say anything about it!

She is correct, for the most part.  Most people want everyone to think they have it all together.  They don't want anyone to see their weakness.  This is a problem, I think.  Because it creates a false front.  A facade.  Facades eventually fall.  Why not just be who you are?

The main reason I'm writing now, though is to express something that I feel so strongly about.  Here is it... joy is not necessarily about a constant state.  Certainly, that could be possible.  But I feel so strongly that joy is in the moment.  I believe we can be under a dark cloud and experience a moment of joy as we realize how lovely the flashing lightning is.

To me, joy is in the moments.  To stretch joy... I think joy is also part of enjoyment.  For instance, when we have a conversation with someone and enjoy it... maybe that is a moment of joy!  Maybe joy is not ONLY a point of arrival at which we feel really happy and continue to feel that way... but moments of peace, contentment and enjoyment with darkness entirely surrounding.

Happiness is a form of joy.  Fun... not so much.  Can one find happiness in fun.  Yes, I think so.  But fun, to my way of thinking, is often found in time wasting and mind burning/numbing activities.  I just see happiness and joy as so much deeper and far reaching than fun.

"Men are that they might have joy."  This is the purpose of our creation.  So, I want to encourage you to see happiness and moments of enjoyment for what they really are: small bits of joy... like gold leaf, can pile up and make something truly beautiful out of whatever it may be... even if what it is, is poop.

LINKED

Granted Another Minute

What if the one minute I’d been given
was extended into another?
Before, from my beloved, I was riven
I was allowed only one minute, not a whole nother.

What would I do?

What could I say?
How could a minute, I, not rue?
When it could take more than a day!

More than one day to say I was sorry

For limiting what we could’ve been.
Surely more than one day to comfort from worry
And lend support for what he must next begin.

How to fit all that and more

into a minute so lonely?
To consider it, my heart feels sore.
And if you think not, you’re full of baloney.

Cause we’ve been us almost half as long

as my life was long before him.
It’s with him that I feel I most belong
and my heart is full to the brim.

We’ve stuck when innumerable others

would’ve absconded with our druthers
and sent us apart saying, “Surely
it’s better to leave early.”

How could I confess

entirely, my thoughts, compress
to adequately convey my feeling
without turning blue and then reeling*.

I want the boon of another minute

but don’t know what to put in it.
How to adequately convey my love?
The thoughts flitter and fly away like a dove.

Would I, then, just hug him and hold him?

hoping to sear me into his body?
Trying to fill his mind with me, to the brim…
knowing mere memory is a replacement quite shoddy.

Surely I’d be unselfish enough
to release him to love another.
Just considering it is quite tough.
For wouldn’t she, my memory smother?

Ahhh, the torment of the thought.

Another minute could never be
enough to fill all too many a draught.
Do you know, can you see?

I’d want him to know

I’d forgiven him all,
was grateful for the chance to grow,
and was so glad for our sweet time in thrall.**

I’d have to ask him, holding him tight,

if he’d forgive me all, too,
if he’d keep me in our children’s sight,
and finally: I truly love you.

*reel: verb: revolve quickly and repeatedly around one's own axis

**thrall: noun: the state of being under the control of another person  I do not mean this in a negative way… but in the way that lovers do what the other do for each other as a result of their love for one another.

Meditation Monday

Meditating continues to go well.  I feel mentally stronger and emotionally more steady.  These are tremendous benefits to my way of thinking.

I've had a few experiences of tingles and during 'conquering anger meditation' some of the feeling that my hands have fallen asleep.  Pretty neat.


Today is day 63 since I began meditating.  It is also day 36 since I began with the conquering anger meditation.  Interesting on those numbers, eh?  Inverted.

Some of What I Believe

I believe in Christ Jesus.

I believe that the fulness of His Gospel is available again on the earth and its "mortal tabernacle" is The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

I believe God is Love.

I believe that we are truly meant to give thanks in ALL things as we can read in Ephesians and Mosiah.  I have experienced that giving thanks for pain actually drastically reduces or radically eliminates the pain.  I have also experience that when I remember to give thanks in the midst of what I consider difficult, the difficulty of the situation becomes dramatically more manageable. These are truths are from my own experiences.  If God would do such for me, He will do it for anyone who will do as I have done (as imperfectly as I do all that I do).

I believe God gives me what I need most.  Sometimes that is exactly what I desire (rarely... I seem to be slow in understanding His Will all too often), but often it is NOT giving me what I desire when I think I want it.  As a huge example from my life...  I wanted to get married quite young.  I honestly cannot remember a time in my childhood when my greatest aspiration was anything other than Motherhood.  Truly.  I dated a lot and thought I wanted to marry any number of the guys I liked.  One in particular.  When I was 20.  If I'd gotten my way, I would've been a widow (probably with a few children) at 27.  Can you imagine?  I cannot.  I did get what I wanted... I married Jessie right after I turned 27.  That's almost 8 years later than I'd've planned for myself (and 7 years after the guy that I'd loved (who was killed when we were both 27) left me).  Jess and I had our first child a little over a year later.  I now have 4 children.  I'm a full-time Mama and love it more every day.  God gives us our hearts' desires when our heart desires aright.  However, He does not give on our timetable, but on His.

I believe I can live again with my Heavenly Parents and Savior because Jesus Christ fulfilled his roles and duties (and will yet complete His work) in Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation for all mankind.  What a glorious plan with wonderful promises!

I believe that the Book of Mormon truly is ANOTHER Testament of Jesus Christ.  It tells of a people seperated from the main body of Israelites in the homeland and led to the American continent.  It tells of their growth, obedienve, prosperity, disobedience, degeneracy, negligence, the cycles between the two and the eventual fall of a whole branch of those peoples (Nephites).  It also tells of another two peoples who were also seperated from the main body of Israel and what became of them.  Most wonderfully and importantly, it tells of Christ's visit to those on the American continent as a fulfillment of his own words, "And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd." In the same way that I know the Bible to be the word of God, I know the Book of Mormon to be, also.  I know the Book of Mormon provides a second voice to confirm, clarify and support the first (the Bible).  It is another witness.  As God said, in times past, that His truth will be established by the mouth of two or three witnesses.  Why, then, not the truth of truths (the fulness of His Gospel) in like manner?  The Bible is one witness: that of the Jews in Jerusalem and the lands round about.  The Book of Mormon is another witness: that of the Nephites/Lamanites, Mulekites, and Jaredites (so, in effect, the Book of Mormon, itself, is a combination of three partial witnesses, which combine to make one very solid witness).

I believe the order of the Holy Priesthood of God has been re-established on the earth today within the structure of the LDS Church.  I believe God has the power and authority to act through any person at any time, but that humans can only consistenly have the authority to act in His name when certain conditions are met.  One more sure way to have the authority AND POWER to act in God's name (for men) is to hold and be a member of His Holy Priesthood, even the Aaronic and Melchesidic Priesthoods.  I believe woman was created from the beginning with an innate authority and power (co-creation with God in her body), so she needs no more assigned authority and power.  I recently found an AMAZING blog which very thoroughly describes these truths.  If you are a woman who feels "jipped" by not being able to hold the Priesthood (as is right), please make sure you read at least a couple posts by Rocket.  I hope your eyes will become more opened and you will come to cherish your position, role, and duties as a woman in God's Plan.  While his thoughts are not published as LDS Church Doctrine, they ring of great truths to many.

To finish where I started:  I believe in Jesus Christ.  The one and only son of God in the flesh.  Born of Mary whose adoptive earthly father was Joseph.  Born in Bethlehem because Joseph had to be there for to pay his taxes.  I know Christ grew up and began His mortal ministry at 30.  He suffered for our sins in the Garden of Gethsemane, was betrayed to the "rulers" of the Jews by Judas Iscariot.  He fulfilled sojourn as a mortal by death at Calvary.  He fulfilled a tremendous portion of the reason for His creation when He arose on the third day.  By so doing, He became the firstfruits of them that slept (see verse 20).

These things which I do believe are aspects of my testimony.  I know it's true because I've asked God and received a witness of the truthfulness of these things (and more).  You can, too.  God is no respecter of persons.  Surely you know that is truth.  So He will answer you, just as He has answered me.  So long as you are willing to give away all your sins to know Him.  It's a small price to pay.  I believe it.  I know it.  Will you?  I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Modern Cowboy

Splashing through water,

rounding up cattle or calves.

Same as always has been.

written for The Sunday Challenge

Horse and Rider

courtesy of © Teresa ~ Razzamadazzle

Mind Your Own Business

I've been told directly and indirectly and read that numerous people promote the idea of "minding one's own business."

What is that?  What is my business?  What fits the category as something that is "my" business?

I honestly wonder how it is that anyone can think that anything big, like laws, are not the business of all over whom they are supposed to 'control.'  A law, wether directed at me specifically, will impact my world - somehow.  It just will.

If you know anything about, say, The United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child... then you know that, ultimately, my children are not even "my own business."  Aren't my children my business?  Shouldn't I have the right to raise them as I see fit (within reason: no abuse and other such wrong-ness)?  I really believe my children are my business.

So, what about my health?  Is that my business?  According to Codex Alimentarius... nope.  But to take a phrase coined for another area that I consider wrongness: "But it's my body!"  I really do think that my body is my business and the right and ability to care for it (and those of my children who literally came from my body) is my business.

Is the Constitution and upholding it my business?  Apparently, according to the liberals from whom I've heard: definitely not.  First, and foremost, I should not have the right to own automatic or semi-automatic weapons.  But the Constitution protects the citizen's right to own guns.  It does not stipulate kind.  And I believe our forefathers would suggest, as I do, that if the criminals have it, the law abiding citizen should be able to, also.  But if the right to own automatic-whatevers ends, when will the government stop trying to take that which our forefathers tried to guarantee you and me for our own protection... against the government?  When?  At what point?  Will the regular citizen be able to continue to own a handgun?  A shotgun?  A rifle?  What?  I think it's important that we all know their plan.  I really do.  Thus the status of gun rights is my business.

Those who promote "marriage equality" say that I need to get my heterosexual married self out of their business.  I need to stop promoting my agenda.  Ummm... I'm not the one trying to change the laws.  So, who is trying to advance whose own agenda?  Also, if homosexual marriage is legalized and recognized as the same things as a heterosexual marriage (and the gay people's/some liberals opinions and desires about marriage made law), there will come a time when such a recognized partnership will petition the courts to force the LDS church to allow them to be married in the Temple.  This is why "marriage equality" is my business.

Basically, I've been told to just shut up and mind my own business.  But, you see, I think if it has an impact on my world... well, then... it's my business.  Don't you???

To end, a quote: "We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty.  When the loyal opposition dies, I think the soul of American dies with it."  Edward R. Murrow

Another Mirror

It happened within the first day or two of learning of these mirrors (July 21, 2012; at night).  I just decided to put off sharing it until now.

I'd been feeling pretty cruddy about myself for a few days... my phsycial appearance particularly.  There was a very specific trigger and as a result of a single moment and a comment made, I allowed myself to feel like I was hideous.

I hadn't been consciously thinking about this feeling I had about myself, but it was there.

It was Kat's turn to spend an extra 15 minutes (or so) with me after everyone else went to bed.  She was SO excited and I felt really happy to have some quiet time with her.  Somewhere in the midst of our few special minutes, she had to run to the toilet really quickly.  When she came back she said to me, "Mama, I think I'm really ugly."

Oh, the horror.  The pain.  The mirror was up quicker than chickens on a baby mouse.  Seriously fast.  I saw myself.  She was mirroring to me how I felt about me.  This one is a First and Second Mirror, a combo, for me.

We had a long talk about her comment.  And I tried to listen and really pay attention to what I was saying to her, because I also need to internalize the words I said to my girl and felt with all my heart when I said them to my Kitty Kat.

By the by... in case your a curious one like me: she thought she was ugly because of the newly aquired scar as a result of our exciting run in with a real life emergency situation in which our practice of drills came in super handy.

More Movies

So, if you haven't heard (or don't remember) I created my own YouTube Channel. I believe you can find it pretty easily, but if you have any problems, please tell me and I'll do my best to help you out.

You might want to figure it out BECAUSE there are some little movies of Tea, Ria, Kat, and Jess and a few combos of those individuals. There is one especially sweet one of Tea with lots of smiling going on. And there's another one I think is really funny about Jessie and mouse traps. I think I may have neglected to mention our Mouse in the House issue... another post, that!

So CHECK OUT the channel!! :)

The Future Holds

Do you know?
Where it does show?

Can you tell?
If it all ends up well?

I'll tell you right now,
just don't have a cow...

You can find it in the Bible, yes all.
Since the beginning and that first fall.

Seriously, I'm telling you true.
What's happening now is nothing new.

History is in re-play,
check it out without delay.

The French Revolution is up and coming.
The sounding drummers are out a-drumming.

Do you see it?
Do you feel the pit?

The one in your stomach, right at the bottom.
Or will you feel it sometime around Autumn?

Please, won't you awaken?
Aren't you, enough, shaken?

Corks Rise

Like corks to the surface,
the thoughts do arise.
The ever dreaded reprise*
spread like scattered grits.

Why this circular thinking
when I thought this battle through?
How can I move, when it is ever new?
And fate guffaws, innocently blinking.

Among the biggest of my problems
with this circle shaped path
is a serious problem of math
it cannot align into columns.

One hundred and two plus one hundred
normally equals two hundred and two.
But not here and now, this do I rue.
Perhaps I’ve merely blundered.

Unfortunately not.

That would be far too easy.
And more than a little bit cheesy.
Maybe I’ve been wrongly taught?

Yes, there I go…
just as has been done from the start,
trying to blame another rather than own my part.
Oh, how I wish I could, don’t you know?

And so these thought-corks circle,
tormenting in their own little way.
Sinking now and again only to rise a new day.
Like my brother’s reminders of Jack Merkle.

*For clarity's sake, not because I doubt that you either already know what it means or could figure it out, I’ve chosen the second definition from (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/reprise), changing ‘action’ to ‘thought’ for my poem: a recurrence, renewal, or resumption of an action.