Perhaps this sort of thing is true for most parents. Unfortunately, most people wear "church face" all too often. So, I really don't know. Most people won't confess the things they do wrong. They focus on the good and only admit the difficulties and atrocities* of their daily lives to a chosen few. Unfortunately I'm not one of the chosen few with many, so I don't think I have a real understanding of most others' families or the parents' feelings about their parenting.
Eyeore is a representation of me as a Mama because even though I may have had some "instructions" available, I didn't understand how what I was doing would effect the end product much of the time. So, I did what I could understand. That's the thing about crochet directions and wise counsel from parents and/or The Lord. Just because I can't visualize the result of something in crochet (but ESPECIALLY when Father directs it), doesn't negate the necessity or usefulness of it! I just didn't understand that then as I do now. As with Eyeore, I feel as if I see my mistakes in Ria. And I feel a depth of sorrow and heart acheyness that I don't have the ability to describe... even with my love of Words!
Ria is wonderful and amazing. She is far better than my parenting accounts for. I'm not saying she's a bad result at all. Rather, I'm taking responsibilty for some negatives that seem to originate from times when I didn't follow the "instructions" as I could and definitely should have.
Pooh is "better". Now, that doesn't mean Kat is better than Ria. Admittedly I have an easier time dealing with Kat, but I REALLY believe that has more to do with the fact that she's SO MUCH a mini-Jessie in SO MANY ways. Jess is difficult, but at least I know how to deal with him. Thus, in learning strategies that word in dealing with him, I understand more how to deal with her. Also, I think it could have a LOT to do with the fact that I never had to leave Kat every day during her first year of life, so I have a MUCH greater understanding of her than Ria. Even if Ria was just like Jess, I think my difficulties with her would still exist for the latter reason mentioned.
But Pooh IS better because I was more knowledgeable. I was more trusting of and in the instructions. I was more willing to do things that I didn't understand because I figured they were in there for some good reason or another. And THAT is definitely appropraitely broadened as a symbol of ME as a Mama! Will Kat be generally better than Ria? I have not a clue in the world. She's her OWN person... only time will answer that question. But I have to admit that when I see her, the mistakes that are MINE are less obviously apparent both to the naked eye AND any other observer. My pain over mistakes I know in her is not as heart achey.
Tigger is still in pieces. I'm confident, though, that when I finish this doll he will be almost perfect BECAUSE I follow the directions as closely as I can. I know that they are there for a reason and that they will result in a good end product. I don't try to figure out why the instructions are important along the way and then detmine if they should be followed. I follow them with little questioning in my mind. I have experience with the whole process and feel confident in my ability (almost totally lacking when I made Eyeore and not as firm when I made Pooh as it is now).
Does that mean that I'm confident that there will be even less for me to feel heart-achey over when I look at Tea when she's 5. No. Unfortunately my confidence as a crocheter is MUCH greater than that which I feel as a Mama. But, I do have a great hope that when I look at her I will see fewer mistakes made by me in my parenting of her! I have hope that my ability to understand and discern Father's Will AND my humility in application of it is making me into the Mama HE knows I can be. And THAT is all I want to do and be: what He knows is a possibility! He remembers me from time immemorial! He's the organizer and Father of my Spirit, but my intelligence existed with Him. So, He knows far better than I can even begin to comprehend or consider what my potential is and how to utilize my specialities. So, if I can continue on this path and realize His plan for me, I will have done something about which to feel great pleasure!
*Remember the (*) in the first paragraph? This is a comment about that word:
I am an English language person. I don't always use high diction, but I love adjectives and words in general. Please keep in mind that I love to write and am not, in actuality, referring to any real atrocity. The nature of the word means something beyond extreme. While I admit to some extremes, I don't actually think "atrocities" are or have been experienced in my life or family. Extreme difficulties and trials, perhaps. But no atrocities. It's hyperbole! It's a writing thing to keep or pique a reader's interest (if you weren't sure what hyperbole is).
This is the second part of a two part tale started HERE. So, if you'd like the rest of the story, click on over.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Ria is FIVE!
CAUTION: extreme doting on the birthday girl in this post!
Victoria Dawn Marie Gollihugh was born right around the time of this posting FIVE YEARS ago!
Ria with me while we were still in hospital.My tiniest baby yet at 8.4 pounds!!
Newborn Ria with her Daddy (on the left).My brother and his first child (on the right).
Just a couple days or weeks old and already sporting her signature mohawk!
3 months old. Smiling at her Mimi!
6 months old in her Metallica onsie.Actually purchased more for Daddy than baby!
6 months old.
Doesn't it look like she's touchin' up her hair here!Such a prima - even since way back then. :)
She's only 8 months old.
8 months old.Practicing her stage walk.
No, just being sweet Ria!
15-16 months old.Wearing her baby!
This is before she saw a sib in my sling.
I think she remembered being IN it herself!
15-16 months old.She's nursing her baby.
Once again, no observation of another sibling.
Of course, she was still nursing at this time.
Wearin' Daddy's fishin' hat.And a cheesy grin!
15-16 months old.Her hair was pulled back into one of her first pony tails.
19 months old here.Her first costume for her first "aware" Halloween.
She did NOT like it. We didn't torment her beyond these pictures.
I just wanted to have proof that we did try to help her enjoy that
holiday (in case she might have some issues with us a teenager)!
2 years + 1 month old here (Mama was preggie with Kat).Ria is checking her baby's heart beat.
3 years old.Ria and Kat. (Kat about 8 months old.)
Ria at 3!
Ria feelin' shy after being surprised at her surprise 4th birthday party.
Ria at 4 at her surprise tea party!There will be another post with more pictures of Ria 'a la now'! ^_^ Check back for the update. Hopefully soon, but today I have Enrichment at 6:30pm and we have to drive Daddy to work, get to Enrichment, and then pick him up when he's done. Busy, busy, busy! I'll try, though.
Vampires
Ria reads. If you don't know that, you don't read often enough or completely enough (or you haven't been around her long enough). She's 5 today and she reads at a second to fourth grade level and has been doing so for at least the last 6 months. She has read almost the complete Magic Treehouse series. (Only almost complete because the library doesn't have ALL of them. She's also read the few field companions available.) She's currently making her way through the A to Z Mysteries and the Little House on the Prairie books. As of today and for the next day or two she's also reading a New York Times best seller (I can't remember the title right now). It's a blue cover with a cartoony looking drawing on the front. Have I mentioned that she reads with super high comprehension, if not complete comprehension? Well, she does.
About a week ago Ria showed me a boo-boo that had two small red dots relatively close together. I think children simply point out a boo-boo and want some attention for the pain (imagined or real) that such a boo-boo would cause. Not Ria with this one. She told me (and anyone who'd hear her!) that she had a vampire bite!!!!! Yes, she knows about vampires. At first I was a little alarmed, thinking she's snuck reading the Twilight series I borrowed from the library and read. I'm not opposed to her reading them eventually, but I DO think 4 years, almost 5 years old is a little young. I do! Don't you? She DID ask to read them, but I said she would have to wait. Unfortunately, saying no in any way is not always followed by obedience. (I know, amazing, right!? A disobedient child!) I asked her, with some trepadition, how she knew about vampires. When she told me she'd read about it in a Magic Treehouse book, I felt a wash of relief roll over me. And, once again, amazement and pleasure in my child who understands SO much and applies it in real life (even if the things she applies aren't ACTUALLY real!).
Awesome. Right?
About a week ago Ria showed me a boo-boo that had two small red dots relatively close together. I think children simply point out a boo-boo and want some attention for the pain (imagined or real) that such a boo-boo would cause. Not Ria with this one. She told me (and anyone who'd hear her!) that she had a vampire bite!!!!! Yes, she knows about vampires. At first I was a little alarmed, thinking she's snuck reading the Twilight series I borrowed from the library and read. I'm not opposed to her reading them eventually, but I DO think 4 years, almost 5 years old is a little young. I do! Don't you? She DID ask to read them, but I said she would have to wait. Unfortunately, saying no in any way is not always followed by obedience. (I know, amazing, right!? A disobedient child!) I asked her, with some trepadition, how she knew about vampires. When she told me she'd read about it in a Magic Treehouse book, I felt a wash of relief roll over me. And, once again, amazement and pleasure in my child who understands SO much and applies it in real life (even if the things she applies aren't ACTUALLY real!).
Awesome. Right?
Our Temple
This is Ria's birthday. Not all of the posts will be cpmplete and utter Ria dotage, but I figured it was appropriate to have at least a couple of them devoted to her and all about her. So, here's the first one!
Sunday was Ward Conference. I mentioned that before, I think. ? Anyway.... I'm not in Primary anymore, so I missed seeing and hearing this first-hand. But, thankfully, two sweet Sisters were so kind as to share it with me. As part of Ward Conference, President Robers (I believe the second coucelor) visits Primary. In Primary he does a talk. They are wonderful. I know since I was present for at least 2 prior to this one.
This time he talked about Temples. Our Stake Relief Society President (I forget her name every time!) and Mary Kay both told me basically the same story, which goes something like this: Ria raised her hand and called out answers the whole time. You know, just like she does. And when Pres. Roberts held up a picture of the Orlando temple she just about jumped out of her seat and said, "That's OUR Temple!" President Roberts was a little surprised and said, "You're right. Do you know what temples are for?" Ria promptly responded, "Families are sealed together for all eternity." Pres was a little surprised again. Ria continued, "My Mommy is already sealed, but my Daddy isn't." I'm going to take a moment and feel totally happy that she has such an understanding as she does of the temple! And that she loves it the way she obviously does in her "ownership" of it! Both Sisters were so soft eyed and obviously felt lovingly toward my Ria as they told their tales.
Lessons to learn from stories shared: Obviously, I haven't covered the difference between sealing and endowments clearly enough as yet, but now I know I need to do more in that area. I should also learn from this that I need to work more on Ria's understanding of raising of hands TO talk, not talking as she raises her hands.
Even so, it's clear that one of my major goals with our temple trips (making the temple REAL to my children) is coming to pass in Ria. What a BLESSING! I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father (through angels and circumstances) has made it possible for us to make it every month since we've lived here - even through our most difficult times. We are SO blessed!!!
Sunday was Ward Conference. I mentioned that before, I think. ? Anyway.... I'm not in Primary anymore, so I missed seeing and hearing this first-hand. But, thankfully, two sweet Sisters were so kind as to share it with me. As part of Ward Conference, President Robers (I believe the second coucelor) visits Primary. In Primary he does a talk. They are wonderful. I know since I was present for at least 2 prior to this one.
This time he talked about Temples. Our Stake Relief Society President (I forget her name every time!) and Mary Kay both told me basically the same story, which goes something like this: Ria raised her hand and called out answers the whole time. You know, just like she does. And when Pres. Roberts held up a picture of the Orlando temple she just about jumped out of her seat and said, "That's OUR Temple!" President Roberts was a little surprised and said, "You're right. Do you know what temples are for?" Ria promptly responded, "Families are sealed together for all eternity." Pres was a little surprised again. Ria continued, "My Mommy is already sealed, but my Daddy isn't." I'm going to take a moment and feel totally happy that she has such an understanding as she does of the temple! And that she loves it the way she obviously does in her "ownership" of it! Both Sisters were so soft eyed and obviously felt lovingly toward my Ria as they told their tales.
Lessons to learn from stories shared: Obviously, I haven't covered the difference between sealing and endowments clearly enough as yet, but now I know I need to do more in that area. I should also learn from this that I need to work more on Ria's understanding of raising of hands TO talk, not talking as she raises her hands.
Even so, it's clear that one of my major goals with our temple trips (making the temple REAL to my children) is coming to pass in Ria. What a BLESSING! I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father (through angels and circumstances) has made it possible for us to make it every month since we've lived here - even through our most difficult times. We are SO blessed!!!
Monday, March 9, 2009
Want a Deal on Plants?
I read about this, checked it out, and even made a "purchase". Only $7. 95 for 3 raspberry plants. Why? Because I only had to pay for shipping! Isn't that fabulous!?? I figure even if my landlord doesn't allow us to have our Square Foot garden, I can still container garden these plant. And maybe, if I'm lucky and blessed, we'll make jam or jelly later!!! ^_^ Wouldn't that be awesome?
Okay, so the name of the company is Spring Hill Nursery. And right now is a perfect time to order because shipping times are either now or coming up for Spring shipments (depending upon your hardiness zone). Not sure about that last term. Google it and you can find out what yours is. No prob. Fast and easy!
Check it out. And if you make a purchase, let me know in my comments. I'd love to hear about what you decide to get! ^_^ Also, since I haven't yet received mine, let me know how yours arrives. I'm really interested to see if I'll actually use them again as they feel so sure.
Okay, so the name of the company is Spring Hill Nursery. And right now is a perfect time to order because shipping times are either now or coming up for Spring shipments (depending upon your hardiness zone). Not sure about that last term. Google it and you can find out what yours is. No prob. Fast and easy!
Check it out. And if you make a purchase, let me know in my comments. I'd love to hear about what you decide to get! ^_^ Also, since I haven't yet received mine, let me know how yours arrives. I'm really interested to see if I'll actually use them again as they feel so sure.
Making Tigger
Man, this bugger's tail took SO long to make! Seriously, had I been able to finish it in one go, I would have the whole darn doll made by now. But, alas, it took me at LEAST three tries to get it correct.
The thing about Tigger is that he's going to be the best doll yet. And I think the silly doll is a perfect analogy for my life as a parent. I say this with chagrin. Awareness of my mistakes. And sorrow over them. Hope that I might, somehow not perpetuate the wrongness with my daughters, but fear that what has been done cannot be undone.
I made an Eyeore for Ria. A Pooh Bear for Kat. And now, Tea gets Tigger.
Eyeore. For the most part, people who see him know what the doll is meant to be. I think. But there are a few problems - very obvious to me. What's wrong with Eyeore: His legs don't fit on his body just right. He is still lacking eyes because I didn't finish them 5 years ago. His mouth looks wrong because I'm still not sure about how to get it on his face! There's no bow on his tail (I think I just forgot that part). And he's all the wrong colors. Oh, and his mane is SUPER thick, but I'm pretty sure it descends down his back only part of the way it was supposed to. To the everyday observer he looks like a good Eyeore doll. At least, that's what they tell me. I don't contradict, but I see the mistakes every time I look at it. And I feel sad that my skill was not, then, what it is now.
Pooh is a lot better. My stiches were more consistent. They were tighter, so there's less stuffing visible. Okay, so he's better. Except that I didn't understand marking the RIGHT side versus the inside. So somehow because I didn't seem the wrongness of the pattern Pooh's ears are inside. Also, because I use yarn instead of the thread the pattern calls for (this is something I do on purpose now, but wasn't initially - with Eyeore!) I didn't have a way to know how much of the yellow/tan color to buy for Pooh's body! So, his body is made of two different dye lots. Also his ears and muzzle are of the first. Thankfully his red shirt mostly covers up the change from one to another, but you can still see the difference in his face. Oh, and his shirt is another story! See, I still don't quite understand the whole process of gauge in crocheting. I know what it enables you to do, but I'm not exactly sure HOW to do it. So, the first shirt I made for Pooh was a bit small. Jess thought it looked funny, so I made another one. It was significantly larger because I relaxed my stiches (as anyone really familiar with crochet would know without me saying so - so sorry if you already knew that). I put that one on Pooh and Jess thought it looked worse than the other one. So I put the original back on and Jess said it looked just right. *sigh*
Tigger isn't completely put together yet, but so far his bits are just right. The outsides are facing OUT. The stiches are marked according to instructions (with Eyeore I didn't know the import of that step... thus the misfitting legs to body!). The tail curles appropriately. The stripes are almost all according to instructions. I did mess one up, but it didn't mess up the overall pattern. That is, thus far, my main mistake with this Tigger... Oh, except for the mismatched yarns. The yellow of the face, belly, and ears is a thicker yarn than the orange and black of the rest of the bugger. I already had it at home when I made the purchase of the orange and black. So, it kinda puts the whole thing off just a little. That mistake was unavoidable under the circumstances. You see, I couldn't run out and get the correct yellow because #1 the van is not at my daily disposal AND #2 we didn't have the money for it. *sigh* Oh, and the black stripes are supposed to be brown. When I bought black I was thining of the Tigger in my head, not the one that is in the cartoon, apparently.
Can you see how this relates to parenting? My parenting, in particular? If not, stay tuned! heeheehee ^_^
The thing about Tigger is that he's going to be the best doll yet. And I think the silly doll is a perfect analogy for my life as a parent. I say this with chagrin. Awareness of my mistakes. And sorrow over them. Hope that I might, somehow not perpetuate the wrongness with my daughters, but fear that what has been done cannot be undone.
I made an Eyeore for Ria. A Pooh Bear for Kat. And now, Tea gets Tigger.
Eyeore. For the most part, people who see him know what the doll is meant to be. I think. But there are a few problems - very obvious to me. What's wrong with Eyeore: His legs don't fit on his body just right. He is still lacking eyes because I didn't finish them 5 years ago. His mouth looks wrong because I'm still not sure about how to get it on his face! There's no bow on his tail (I think I just forgot that part). And he's all the wrong colors. Oh, and his mane is SUPER thick, but I'm pretty sure it descends down his back only part of the way it was supposed to. To the everyday observer he looks like a good Eyeore doll. At least, that's what they tell me. I don't contradict, but I see the mistakes every time I look at it. And I feel sad that my skill was not, then, what it is now.
Pooh is a lot better. My stiches were more consistent. They were tighter, so there's less stuffing visible. Okay, so he's better. Except that I didn't understand marking the RIGHT side versus the inside. So somehow because I didn't seem the wrongness of the pattern Pooh's ears are inside. Also, because I use yarn instead of the thread the pattern calls for (this is something I do on purpose now, but wasn't initially - with Eyeore!) I didn't have a way to know how much of the yellow/tan color to buy for Pooh's body! So, his body is made of two different dye lots. Also his ears and muzzle are of the first. Thankfully his red shirt mostly covers up the change from one to another, but you can still see the difference in his face. Oh, and his shirt is another story! See, I still don't quite understand the whole process of gauge in crocheting. I know what it enables you to do, but I'm not exactly sure HOW to do it. So, the first shirt I made for Pooh was a bit small. Jess thought it looked funny, so I made another one. It was significantly larger because I relaxed my stiches (as anyone really familiar with crochet would know without me saying so - so sorry if you already knew that). I put that one on Pooh and Jess thought it looked worse than the other one. So I put the original back on and Jess said it looked just right. *sigh*
Tigger isn't completely put together yet, but so far his bits are just right. The outsides are facing OUT. The stiches are marked according to instructions (with Eyeore I didn't know the import of that step... thus the misfitting legs to body!). The tail curles appropriately. The stripes are almost all according to instructions. I did mess one up, but it didn't mess up the overall pattern. That is, thus far, my main mistake with this Tigger... Oh, except for the mismatched yarns. The yellow of the face, belly, and ears is a thicker yarn than the orange and black of the rest of the bugger. I already had it at home when I made the purchase of the orange and black. So, it kinda puts the whole thing off just a little. That mistake was unavoidable under the circumstances. You see, I couldn't run out and get the correct yellow because #1 the van is not at my daily disposal AND #2 we didn't have the money for it. *sigh* Oh, and the black stripes are supposed to be brown. When I bought black I was thining of the Tigger in my head, not the one that is in the cartoon, apparently.
Can you see how this relates to parenting? My parenting, in particular? If not, stay tuned! heeheehee ^_^
Fixing Fence
I've been thinking about the phrase of my title for the last few days. I was recently privy to some information that saddened me. Actually, to be completely honest, it REALLY hurt... I felt this horrible pain my chest/heart area. The funny thing about that pain is that the situation only had to do with me inasmuch as I was told about it! Nothing of it really related to me at all.
So what was the dish? Well, the actual content really isn't all that important. But I will tell you there was a handful of offense taken and a heavy dash of discord. They were stirred and simmered into a refusal to participate. And the fence needed fixing anyway.
The fence needed fixing... and I think SO many fences need fixing in life! Or... yet, in my opinion, let's knock those darn fences right down!
Our Ward Conference yesterday had the overarching theme of UNITY. It was such a wonderful meeting - even though I didn't get to pay attention to it without distraction (of course I couldn't with a 4 month old, 2 year old, and 4 year old!). But I did get to hear much of it.
I feel that to be unified we really can't have "fences" and/or "lines in the sand" that we build or draw. They really aren't necessary if we are to be as we're meant to be: UNITED. It makes me feel so sad when, not only do they exist, but we are, in effect, fortifying them and re-drawing them (respectively). It's sad and frustrating. And, I am not without flaw. I've had my own fences or lines. I think they are far fewer and I continue to work to knock them down and rub them out in my own life and psyche.
What would YOU do about it? What HAVE you done? I know it starts in our own mind, lives, families. Is there anything we can do in our community once we've got it squared away in our mind and home?
So what was the dish? Well, the actual content really isn't all that important. But I will tell you there was a handful of offense taken and a heavy dash of discord. They were stirred and simmered into a refusal to participate. And the fence needed fixing anyway.
The fence needed fixing... and I think SO many fences need fixing in life! Or... yet, in my opinion, let's knock those darn fences right down!
Our Ward Conference yesterday had the overarching theme of UNITY. It was such a wonderful meeting - even though I didn't get to pay attention to it without distraction (of course I couldn't with a 4 month old, 2 year old, and 4 year old!). But I did get to hear much of it.
I feel that to be unified we really can't have "fences" and/or "lines in the sand" that we build or draw. They really aren't necessary if we are to be as we're meant to be: UNITED. It makes me feel so sad when, not only do they exist, but we are, in effect, fortifying them and re-drawing them (respectively). It's sad and frustrating. And, I am not without flaw. I've had my own fences or lines. I think they are far fewer and I continue to work to knock them down and rub them out in my own life and psyche.
What would YOU do about it? What HAVE you done? I know it starts in our own mind, lives, families. Is there anything we can do in our community once we've got it squared away in our mind and home?
Have You Heard of the Ultimate Blog Party?
I'm in. I figured it could be lots of fun. Because I've been so interested in Blogs, in general, lately I thought it would be a great opportunity to get OUT there more. So, late on March 19th or early on March 20th I'm going to do an intro post. I want to tell ya now what it's all about just because it might seem really random otherwise.
If you're interested in checking it out, I've got a button to the side. I can't know if you're interested, but it could be interesting! :) And it's open to every(female)one.
If you're interested in checking it out, I've got a button to the side. I can't know if you're interested, but it could be interesting! :) And it's open to every(female)one.
At the origination blog it says, "All women bloggers are invited to participate regardless of parental status, religious affiliations, etc." Of course, the title of the site of the party: 5 Minutes for Mom, would probably lead you to expect that the content of your blog postings, should you participate, should be family friendly. If you thought such a thing, you'd be right. If not, please DO make sure it IS family friendly. Another pertinent quote: "Offensive blogs will be removed from the Mr. Linky list at the discretion of the 5 Minutes for Mom team."
Friday, March 6, 2009
Shoes for Children... for FREE!
Check out Mama's Money Savers for a giveaway of gorgeous shoes by Jack and Lily. They have sweet infant shoes, perfect for the baby to learn to walk in AND toddler shoes, sturdy yet flexible. Two qualities especially helpful to new walkers. Go on, you know you want to!
Oh, and if you don't have a baby or toddler in your home, enter and give them to your sister, friend, daughter, or neighbor who has a child. I'm sure they would LOVE the gift. I know I would!!
Oh, and if you don't have a baby or toddler in your home, enter and give them to your sister, friend, daughter, or neighbor who has a child. I'm sure they would LOVE the gift. I know I would!!
An Ergo Carrier for FREE?
If you know anything about babywearing, you've probably heard of this brand. If not, then you definitely need to hop right on over to "Deal"ectible Mommies to check out THIS giveaway. I would certainly love to have one of these carriers. They are good for kiddos up to NINETY pounds! Can you imagine? An interesting kind of punishment for an errant OLDER child, eh? hehehe Especially if Ria's weight holds to its pattern... she's almost 5 and in the mid 30s now!
Hold your horses! I'll be posting again about some deep thoughts very soon. I know it's hard to wait, but it builds character. heeheehee
Hold your horses! I'll be posting again about some deep thoughts very soon. I know it's hard to wait, but it builds character. heeheehee
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Man I Need Safe Sippy Cups
But without money enough in the coffers to purchase them, what's a Mama to do? Well, there's this awesome giveaway (ANOTHER? YEP!!) at Jolly Mom for just what I would like!!! Can it be? THREE awesome sippy cups for FREE!? And ANOTHER yep to that one! I'm certainly hopin' for a win on this one!
This giveaway will end March 10th at 11:59 PM EST. But I sitll recommend clicking on over there as soon as you can in hopes of snagging a couple entries for your very own trio of BPA free sippy cups!
This giveaway will end March 10th at 11:59 PM EST. But I sitll recommend clicking on over there as soon as you can in hopes of snagging a couple entries for your very own trio of BPA free sippy cups!
Want to Win Some Shoes for a Child?
If you have ANY desire toward this end, head over to Go Graham Go! and check out her giveaway. I did it (and a couple of the extra entry options) because the shoes over at Eleven Collection look really REALLY wonderful and comfy.... It certainly couldn't hurt, right? BUT you have to hurry because the giveaway ends March 6th at 11:59 pm. So hurry over and check it out! ^_^
Puddings-N-Pie
I haven't actually made any pie in a while, but I was on a total kick for a while right around the holidays. So, I think the title is sort of appropriate - including the recent past, at least. :)
Most recently, as in Wednesday, I've been sort of obsessed with trying to make rice pudding and bread pudding. Rice because we had a big pot in the fridge and I didn't want to toss it. Bread pudding... well, I'm not really sure why I just HAD to make that one. But I REALLY wanted to.
So, I've made the rice pudding. It's REALLY good. And I'm not a huge rice pudding fan. It's a recipe that uses eggs and whipped cream folded in at the end. (A Joy of Cooking recipe, aka Jessie's bible.) It was REALLY great! I don't adore tapioca, but I haven't thought it better than rice pudding. THIS rice pudding, though, totally has tapioca beat!
I've started the bread pudding, but Jessie was adamant that I had to allow the bread to become so stale that it would completely crumble into tiny crumbs when I tried to break it. It's still too moist, so I can't make it yet. When I DO get to wet the crumbs he "demands" that I allow them to soak at least 12 hours with weight on them so that all the bread bits are submerged. So, even though I'm writing this post at 11:25pm on Wednesday night, I won't get to taste this stuff until sometime on Friday - probably late.
Thankfully the bread pudding won't have to wait until Saturday, the 7th. THAT's a busy day! We're leaving for the temple at 5am (as per our usual monthly trip), but on the way home we're stopping at the Sports' Invitational activity at our Stake Center. Our Stake Meeting House is half-way to the temple. Since neither Jess nor I are playing (but I felt I should go since I'm Activities Chairperson) we're going to go ALL the way to the temple first and then back half way... okay, I think I already sort of said that. The point is that I wanted to make the wisest expenditure of our gas money and this seemed to be a REALLY good idea. Thankfully Jess will sleep while I drive and I will get to take a nap when we get home. Otherwise this trip just wouldn't be a good idea at all.
Most recently, as in Wednesday, I've been sort of obsessed with trying to make rice pudding and bread pudding. Rice because we had a big pot in the fridge and I didn't want to toss it. Bread pudding... well, I'm not really sure why I just HAD to make that one. But I REALLY wanted to.
So, I've made the rice pudding. It's REALLY good. And I'm not a huge rice pudding fan. It's a recipe that uses eggs and whipped cream folded in at the end. (A Joy of Cooking recipe, aka Jessie's bible.) It was REALLY great! I don't adore tapioca, but I haven't thought it better than rice pudding. THIS rice pudding, though, totally has tapioca beat!
I've started the bread pudding, but Jessie was adamant that I had to allow the bread to become so stale that it would completely crumble into tiny crumbs when I tried to break it. It's still too moist, so I can't make it yet. When I DO get to wet the crumbs he "demands" that I allow them to soak at least 12 hours with weight on them so that all the bread bits are submerged. So, even though I'm writing this post at 11:25pm on Wednesday night, I won't get to taste this stuff until sometime on Friday - probably late.
Thankfully the bread pudding won't have to wait until Saturday, the 7th. THAT's a busy day! We're leaving for the temple at 5am (as per our usual monthly trip), but on the way home we're stopping at the Sports' Invitational activity at our Stake Center. Our Stake Meeting House is half-way to the temple. Since neither Jess nor I are playing (but I felt I should go since I'm Activities Chairperson) we're going to go ALL the way to the temple first and then back half way... okay, I think I already sort of said that. The point is that I wanted to make the wisest expenditure of our gas money and this seemed to be a REALLY good idea. Thankfully Jess will sleep while I drive and I will get to take a nap when we get home. Otherwise this trip just wouldn't be a good idea at all.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Now This Is Getting Rediculous...
I've long had a problem with "looking my food in the eyes" as it were. That's how my DH puts it, too. Once, Jess made a chicken for dinner. Okay, so he's actually made chicken lots more than once, but this one time he served me half a chicken on a plate. Hmmm... Maybe I'm not making this clear... Jessie roasted a whole chicken, which smelled a-MA-zing, and then he cut it in half and put each half one a plate - then put it in front of me. I remember feeling REALLY hungry this particular night, but when I had the chicken in front of me I felt absolutely ill. The aroma was still wonderful, tempting, and mouthwatering... but I could NOT eat it. I picked off some meat, as Jess was watching me, and put it in my mouth. I could tell that it tasted wonderful, delicious, and met every expectation of its aroma, but I could eat NO more. Jess asked why I wasn't eating. I felt really foolish and sappy, but had to spill that I couldn't eat it because I could SEE the chicken! And when I say see, I mean SEE! In my mind I could see the chicken clucking and pecking at some corn (a la Cinderella) even though I KNOW that most of them never see the outside of a cage. Either image is haunting for me!
Do you know what I mean? I could SEE how it was before it was there - dead - on my plate. It's this sort of thing that made eating vegetarian the whole time I lived in Australia (okay, only 6.5 months, but still!) REALLY really REALLY easy! Also, of course, not having to PAY for meat made it easy, too.
Poor Jess. He doesn't understand at all. He's completely comfortable looking his food in he face... I suppose he needs to be since he IS a chef and prepares meats from LARGE bits that could be easy to tell where on the beast they came from (cow, pig, etc). He's also been out hunting and dealt with the animal he's killed FOR food (NOT sport!!). He's raised, killed, skinned (for leather), and eaten rabbits plenty. *sigh* I'm just not capeable in that way - at least, not now. Thankfully, I don't have to be!! I would like to add that Jess has become a bit more tender in that he feels a desire to thank the being for its sacrifice for our consumption (especially when he has seen its face).
But it's getting rediculous now, me thinks. You see, today I boiled some water for hot chocolate. (Because you KNOW how cold it is in Florida! No, seriously. It IS cold. Jess told me it was 41 F when he came home from guitar playing with some guys from Church! That's COLD!! At least for US, it is... so we're wimps now. Sue me. No, please don't!!!)
Back to the story: When I opened the pour spout part that whistles, out pops (almost literally) an ant. It was writhing and contorting it's three segmented body and I just felt HORRIBLE! I still feel horrible. I feel SO guilty. I feel all misty. My heart is all achey. And I actually want to CRY! I think, "I should've opened that thing before I turned on the heat." But argue, "How could I know there would be an ANT in my water kettle?" And back at myself, "But I should've checked anyway!" Once again: *sigh*
We've been co-existing with carpenter ants since we moved in here. At first it was ants, BIG spiders (which I admit I killed thinking to protect my daughters!), and rolly pollies. Unfortunately, Kat killed lots of the poor Rolly Ones because... well, she was trying to EAT them! I fear she was successful more than once. I did swipe polly carcases out of her little mouth a few times. UGH! Please keep in mind this was within the first year of living here and Kat was 3 weeks old when we arrived. Ria eventually took on the rolly polly police duty (no, I did not ask her, but she LOVES to be a police girl and/or "law" enforcer!) and Kat was rarely able to successfully accomplish her goal of bringing a rolly polly ALL the way to her mouth thereafter.
What's my point... I guess my point is that I feel foolish. Do you remember the rat? I still have problems with being an accomplice to its demise! Seriously. I thought as we get older we're supposed to become LESS sensitive as a result of life experiences. Not so with me and I feel at a loss. I don't know whether to be happy that I'm more sensitive to the plight of the beings around me OR worried because it means I'm just a little nuttier than I used to be. I suppose it could be a combo sort of issue. Ahwell....
TEA
Can you blieve my baby is already more than 4 months old?? I'm having a VERY difficult time processing this, on a daily basis. She's confidently sitting up now. She leans down to inspect her feet AND THEN pulls herself right back up. She's even leaned back (almost lying down!) and pulled herself to sit up again. She's SO strong!!!!
This little sweetie is enamored with her sisters and Daddy! I don't feel quite as loved, in a way. This goes back to the issue of Mama-always-being-there sort of thing. I know, but it still feels sort of... sad.
Coping
My Mom sends snail mail now and then to my girls. I love this because it keeps her present in thier minds even though she can't be in their every day physical world. Just today we received an envelope for the whole family (a special treat!). In it was a card for each person. Tea had a note on my card, Jess had his own card in an envelope, Ria had her own envelope with card inside and Kat received a beautiful flower picture (how did my Mom know Kat asked me to learn more about flowers in her learning log? I didn't tell.), but no envelope. I mention this because it was REALLY sweet in the actual occurance, though it might now be explained well enough to illustrate it (so I just specified it in case I don't do a good job). Ria carefully opened her envelope. I handed Kat her card and she looked at me with SUCH accusation in her eyes. "No!!!, want open it!" She was just SURE I had taken the pleasure of opening HER envelope away from her! Her Mimi (my Mom) is SO important and special to her. Kat asks at least 2-3 times a week to call Mimi. Often, lately, it's when I'm on the computer because Kat wants to Skype Mimi. I'm rarely able to patch her through - even to leave a message, but she continues to ask! What love!
In my note my Mom shared a coping mechanism that I already feel will be invaluable to me in wide application. So, I wanted to share it abroad in hopes that others with anxiety issues similar to mine (and even, perhaps, greater than mine) might be able to benefit. (I hope you don't mind, Mom!) So, she shared that sometimes the reason for the anxiety/worry/fear/concern/whatever is really valid. Regardless, I think this coping skill will be useful! My Mom's suggestion: If I find myself feeling any form of anxiety, I should determine to put away the concern until a specified time in the future (of my choosing). My Mom told me that when she did this, the issue was usually resolved before that time had arrived. I think it would be appropriate to have lots of hours between the starting time and the begin-worrying-again time. I've sort of done this to a small extent regarding Jessie getting home from work. But it has MUCH broader application value! I'm definitely testing this idea more!
Kat
On that note (her love of my Mom), I want to share something sweet and wonderful about Kathryn. She is turning into SUCH a compassionate and tender girl. She's still rough and tumble much/most of the time. Here's an example of the newest way she's been SO sweet: Kat sent to her room for some disobedience. Kat sitting on her bed loudly howling in tears. Ria sent to her bedroom for something similar. She begins crying loudly (for my benefit of course, in both cases). Kat howls only a moment after Ria's arrival. Then the decibal deminishes and I focus on the reason for the cease and desist on my ear drums. Kat is comforting Ria!!! Kat, "It's okay Ria. You're all right. Everything's gunna be otay." Her enunciation is not clear on all those words, but I don't think you would be able to decipher the meaning if I tried to trascribe it all via her pronunciation. :) Ria did calm down much more quickly than usual with Kat's comforting words and presence. What a joy to hear!
Ria
The end of last week and this week I determined to have very little homeschool going on. Mostly this is because I've been feeling overburdened and stressed out. And, well, because I can! My little smarty is ALMOST 5, but still not quite. And here she doesn't have to start school (or homeschool in our case) until the August/September of the year she turns 6... that's not until late next year!
Ria's definitely reading between a 2nd and 4th grade level (her latest series, A-Z Mysteries, says as much on the cover) WITH complete comprehension. She's counting to 100 easily, counting by 10s, learning to count by 5s... anyway. I think you get the picture.
It's been a surprise and pleasure to realize that Ria has a much stronger propensity toward/for work than I'd been feeling lately. I've RARELY asked her to practice piano, yet she's been playing OFTEN throughout the day each day for the last week! She's still slacking in her reading (compared to what she used to do and what I would like), but she's getting it done in a more timely fashion than a few weeks ago. She's still reading for pleasure and reading to Kat in addition to her assigned reading, too! Ria has also asked me to do Math with her. She's done that before, but the fact that she's STILL asking is REALLY good! She's still not interested in writing all that much, but she did say she wanted to write to her Grama T (my Grandma). Put that on the TO DO list. ^_^
Jess
He's trying to get one job to provide for our needs. We're hopeful. There are two or three opportunities that look like they may happen. If you think of it, please keep us in your prayers in this regard especially! Thank you, in advance.
Tonight he went out to play guitar at church. There are TONS of guitar players among the guys in our Ward, it seems. He had a good time. The funny thing, to him, was that everyone seemed to look to him for direction once he arrived. Not surprising to me. I think they were totally excited to have him. Jess is normally working at such a time, so this was just really REALLY random that he could attend. What a joy, though. I mean, usually he just goes off to do something alone (like fishing). It was SUCH a pleasure and fill-to-bursting-heart-feeling to know that he would be among GOOD men doing something he LOVES! I didn't even miss him most of the time he was gone (except for when I looked at the sink!) because I felt so happy that he was spending time with those good men! Dishes have been mostly Jessie's realm of responsibility lately because I just can't carry everything right now.
If I didn't keep the laundry almost completely done at all times... If I didn't have coupons I have get to find a home for... If I didn't have a nursling who still nurses REALLY often... If I didn't have homeschool stuff to worry about... If I didn't want to try to spend some ACTUAL time WITH my girls rather than just directing them... If all those things were a bit less consumptive of time or I was MUCH better at managing it all, I could do dishes TOO. But I have limits. Unfortunate, but true. So, the kitchen sink is my hot spot almost all the time! I'm definitely NOT perfect. But, of course, knowing me as you do, you already knew that, too!! ^_^
Do you know what I mean? I could SEE how it was before it was there - dead - on my plate. It's this sort of thing that made eating vegetarian the whole time I lived in Australia (okay, only 6.5 months, but still!) REALLY really REALLY easy! Also, of course, not having to PAY for meat made it easy, too.
Poor Jess. He doesn't understand at all. He's completely comfortable looking his food in he face... I suppose he needs to be since he IS a chef and prepares meats from LARGE bits that could be easy to tell where on the beast they came from (cow, pig, etc). He's also been out hunting and dealt with the animal he's killed FOR food (NOT sport!!). He's raised, killed, skinned (for leather), and eaten rabbits plenty. *sigh* I'm just not capeable in that way - at least, not now. Thankfully, I don't have to be!! I would like to add that Jess has become a bit more tender in that he feels a desire to thank the being for its sacrifice for our consumption (especially when he has seen its face).
But it's getting rediculous now, me thinks. You see, today I boiled some water for hot chocolate. (Because you KNOW how cold it is in Florida! No, seriously. It IS cold. Jess told me it was 41 F when he came home from guitar playing with some guys from Church! That's COLD!! At least for US, it is... so we're wimps now. Sue me. No, please don't!!!)
Back to the story: When I opened the pour spout part that whistles, out pops (almost literally) an ant. It was writhing and contorting it's three segmented body and I just felt HORRIBLE! I still feel horrible. I feel SO guilty. I feel all misty. My heart is all achey. And I actually want to CRY! I think, "I should've opened that thing before I turned on the heat." But argue, "How could I know there would be an ANT in my water kettle?" And back at myself, "But I should've checked anyway!" Once again: *sigh*
We've been co-existing with carpenter ants since we moved in here. At first it was ants, BIG spiders (which I admit I killed thinking to protect my daughters!), and rolly pollies. Unfortunately, Kat killed lots of the poor Rolly Ones because... well, she was trying to EAT them! I fear she was successful more than once. I did swipe polly carcases out of her little mouth a few times. UGH! Please keep in mind this was within the first year of living here and Kat was 3 weeks old when we arrived. Ria eventually took on the rolly polly police duty (no, I did not ask her, but she LOVES to be a police girl and/or "law" enforcer!) and Kat was rarely able to successfully accomplish her goal of bringing a rolly polly ALL the way to her mouth thereafter.
What's my point... I guess my point is that I feel foolish. Do you remember the rat? I still have problems with being an accomplice to its demise! Seriously. I thought as we get older we're supposed to become LESS sensitive as a result of life experiences. Not so with me and I feel at a loss. I don't know whether to be happy that I'm more sensitive to the plight of the beings around me OR worried because it means I'm just a little nuttier than I used to be. I suppose it could be a combo sort of issue. Ahwell....
TEA
Can you blieve my baby is already more than 4 months old?? I'm having a VERY difficult time processing this, on a daily basis. She's confidently sitting up now. She leans down to inspect her feet AND THEN pulls herself right back up. She's even leaned back (almost lying down!) and pulled herself to sit up again. She's SO strong!!!!
This little sweetie is enamored with her sisters and Daddy! I don't feel quite as loved, in a way. This goes back to the issue of Mama-always-being-there sort of thing. I know, but it still feels sort of... sad.
Coping
My Mom sends snail mail now and then to my girls. I love this because it keeps her present in thier minds even though she can't be in their every day physical world. Just today we received an envelope for the whole family (a special treat!). In it was a card for each person. Tea had a note on my card, Jess had his own card in an envelope, Ria had her own envelope with card inside and Kat received a beautiful flower picture (how did my Mom know Kat asked me to learn more about flowers in her learning log? I didn't tell.), but no envelope. I mention this because it was REALLY sweet in the actual occurance, though it might now be explained well enough to illustrate it (so I just specified it in case I don't do a good job). Ria carefully opened her envelope. I handed Kat her card and she looked at me with SUCH accusation in her eyes. "No!!!, want open it!" She was just SURE I had taken the pleasure of opening HER envelope away from her! Her Mimi (my Mom) is SO important and special to her. Kat asks at least 2-3 times a week to call Mimi. Often, lately, it's when I'm on the computer because Kat wants to Skype Mimi. I'm rarely able to patch her through - even to leave a message, but she continues to ask! What love!
In my note my Mom shared a coping mechanism that I already feel will be invaluable to me in wide application. So, I wanted to share it abroad in hopes that others with anxiety issues similar to mine (and even, perhaps, greater than mine) might be able to benefit. (I hope you don't mind, Mom!) So, she shared that sometimes the reason for the anxiety/worry/fear/concern/whatever is really valid. Regardless, I think this coping skill will be useful! My Mom's suggestion: If I find myself feeling any form of anxiety, I should determine to put away the concern until a specified time in the future (of my choosing). My Mom told me that when she did this, the issue was usually resolved before that time had arrived. I think it would be appropriate to have lots of hours between the starting time and the begin-worrying-again time. I've sort of done this to a small extent regarding Jessie getting home from work. But it has MUCH broader application value! I'm definitely testing this idea more!
Kat
On that note (her love of my Mom), I want to share something sweet and wonderful about Kathryn. She is turning into SUCH a compassionate and tender girl. She's still rough and tumble much/most of the time. Here's an example of the newest way she's been SO sweet: Kat sent to her room for some disobedience. Kat sitting on her bed loudly howling in tears. Ria sent to her bedroom for something similar. She begins crying loudly (for my benefit of course, in both cases). Kat howls only a moment after Ria's arrival. Then the decibal deminishes and I focus on the reason for the cease and desist on my ear drums. Kat is comforting Ria!!! Kat, "It's okay Ria. You're all right. Everything's gunna be otay." Her enunciation is not clear on all those words, but I don't think you would be able to decipher the meaning if I tried to trascribe it all via her pronunciation. :) Ria did calm down much more quickly than usual with Kat's comforting words and presence. What a joy to hear!
Ria
The end of last week and this week I determined to have very little homeschool going on. Mostly this is because I've been feeling overburdened and stressed out. And, well, because I can! My little smarty is ALMOST 5, but still not quite. And here she doesn't have to start school (or homeschool in our case) until the August/September of the year she turns 6... that's not until late next year!
Ria's definitely reading between a 2nd and 4th grade level (her latest series, A-Z Mysteries, says as much on the cover) WITH complete comprehension. She's counting to 100 easily, counting by 10s, learning to count by 5s... anyway. I think you get the picture.
It's been a surprise and pleasure to realize that Ria has a much stronger propensity toward/for work than I'd been feeling lately. I've RARELY asked her to practice piano, yet she's been playing OFTEN throughout the day each day for the last week! She's still slacking in her reading (compared to what she used to do and what I would like), but she's getting it done in a more timely fashion than a few weeks ago. She's still reading for pleasure and reading to Kat in addition to her assigned reading, too! Ria has also asked me to do Math with her. She's done that before, but the fact that she's STILL asking is REALLY good! She's still not interested in writing all that much, but she did say she wanted to write to her Grama T (my Grandma). Put that on the TO DO list. ^_^
Jess
He's trying to get one job to provide for our needs. We're hopeful. There are two or three opportunities that look like they may happen. If you think of it, please keep us in your prayers in this regard especially! Thank you, in advance.
Tonight he went out to play guitar at church. There are TONS of guitar players among the guys in our Ward, it seems. He had a good time. The funny thing, to him, was that everyone seemed to look to him for direction once he arrived. Not surprising to me. I think they were totally excited to have him. Jess is normally working at such a time, so this was just really REALLY random that he could attend. What a joy, though. I mean, usually he just goes off to do something alone (like fishing). It was SUCH a pleasure and fill-to-bursting-heart-feeling to know that he would be among GOOD men doing something he LOVES! I didn't even miss him most of the time he was gone (except for when I looked at the sink!) because I felt so happy that he was spending time with those good men! Dishes have been mostly Jessie's realm of responsibility lately because I just can't carry everything right now.
If I didn't keep the laundry almost completely done at all times... If I didn't have coupons I have get to find a home for... If I didn't have a nursling who still nurses REALLY often... If I didn't have homeschool stuff to worry about... If I didn't want to try to spend some ACTUAL time WITH my girls rather than just directing them... If all those things were a bit less consumptive of time or I was MUCH better at managing it all, I could do dishes TOO. But I have limits. Unfortunate, but true. So, the kitchen sink is my hot spot almost all the time! I'm definitely NOT perfect. But, of course, knowing me as you do, you already knew that, too!! ^_^
dorks, dorLs, and... Man I Miss My Sibs!!!
I've been feeling homesick for my extended family... the nuclear family of my youth. It's been well over a year since I was amongst them, so why the sudden missing-them-feelings now?
The blame is firmly and easily placed on my hometeacher's shoulders. J is a funny guy. That's not his name... J, but I try to refer to others via the first letter of their name in case they'd (except for my hubby and kiddos) rather I didn't talk about them. This is a new thing I've been trying out, in case you're wondering. Unfortunately, I know LOTS of people with the first letter J!
You see, my hometeacher (and friend) has recently become a Facebooker and has instigated a few chats in FB. Since the day I met him I've felt right at home... he reminds me of my brothers even though he doesn't really look like them. We definitely banter like siblings. This one particular night he kept writing typos and appologizing. I didn't even notice, except that he kep appologizing. So, I decided to give him a hard time about it - just because. As a result, he is now a dorL. Yes, he was trying to call me a dorK, but misspelled it. So, he is now a dorL. Okay, he's actually THE ONLY dorL ever...
While this isn't terribly funny to the average person, it's absolutely hilarious to me! No, I mean, giddily laughing until I can barely breath hilarious! Seriously! Why? Perhaps it's because my brothers and I used to always go back and forth in a VERY similar way... I don't know. But on Sunday, in face-to-face-real-life, I called J a dorL. He turned RED! Now, if there was ever anything that would cinch the deal (question in my mind about whether I would tease him IRL is the "deal"), it is that. He's definitely a dorL from now on!
I was telling Jess about that whole thing on the way home and was almost hysterically laughing. And then it came (and I should've known)... I started crying because the feelings of MISSING MY SIBS just welled up SO much I couldn't hold it in!!! I do still hold on to a small hope that I might get up to VA this summer, but it is shrinking... ever shrinking... as a result of the economy (read: fears about not having enough money because of lost job or something) and the possibility that Jess might be so new at a new job that he won't be able to get time off. I guess I could go by myself (IF we get another vehicle beforehand), but I REALLY want to spend time with my family WITH Jess.
But MAN, I miss my fam!!!
The blame is firmly and easily placed on my hometeacher's shoulders. J is a funny guy. That's not his name... J, but I try to refer to others via the first letter of their name in case they'd (except for my hubby and kiddos) rather I didn't talk about them. This is a new thing I've been trying out, in case you're wondering. Unfortunately, I know LOTS of people with the first letter J!
You see, my hometeacher (and friend) has recently become a Facebooker and has instigated a few chats in FB. Since the day I met him I've felt right at home... he reminds me of my brothers even though he doesn't really look like them. We definitely banter like siblings. This one particular night he kept writing typos and appologizing. I didn't even notice, except that he kep appologizing. So, I decided to give him a hard time about it - just because. As a result, he is now a dorL. Yes, he was trying to call me a dorK, but misspelled it. So, he is now a dorL. Okay, he's actually THE ONLY dorL ever...
While this isn't terribly funny to the average person, it's absolutely hilarious to me! No, I mean, giddily laughing until I can barely breath hilarious! Seriously! Why? Perhaps it's because my brothers and I used to always go back and forth in a VERY similar way... I don't know. But on Sunday, in face-to-face-real-life, I called J a dorL. He turned RED! Now, if there was ever anything that would cinch the deal (question in my mind about whether I would tease him IRL is the "deal"), it is that. He's definitely a dorL from now on!
I was telling Jess about that whole thing on the way home and was almost hysterically laughing. And then it came (and I should've known)... I started crying because the feelings of MISSING MY SIBS just welled up SO much I couldn't hold it in!!! I do still hold on to a small hope that I might get up to VA this summer, but it is shrinking... ever shrinking... as a result of the economy (read: fears about not having enough money because of lost job or something) and the possibility that Jess might be so new at a new job that he won't be able to get time off. I guess I could go by myself (IF we get another vehicle beforehand), but I REALLY want to spend time with my family WITH Jess.
But MAN, I miss my fam!!!
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