So, as of now (since it's almost 3am), I'm officially 13 days overdue. So annoying. At this point I'm annoyed merely because of the dictates of law and such. In about 5.5 hours I have to make it to an ultrasound. I've made it THIS far and haven't had one and now I "have" to have one... to preserve my opportunity/option for a homebirth I have to do it. On the positive/brighter side, if I was under a Doc's care I would have to go in somewhere (doc office or hospital) for non-stress tests every few days (and would've had to start that rediculousness way before now!). So, there's a lot I have to be grateful for... but, gosh darn it, I'm still annoyed about having to have an ultrasound at all! :(
I was feeling quite blue and bummed on Sunday (after breaking down in tears to my Mom the night before) because of the whole post-dates issue. I was especially annoyed by some of the comments non-thinking persons made to me about the subject at church on Sunday. "What's the hold-up, Mama?" Or, and I love this one, "Why are you taking so long?!" as if I was purposefully and consciously trying to NOT have this baby. Who in their right mind would do THAT? Okay, so maybe my mind isn't always right... but I certainly am NOT loopy enough to want to keep being preggie!!!
I admit there may be some things going on subconsciously, but REALLY TRULY I do NOT know what they are! I mean, I've tried NOT having anything planned so that things just happen, I've tried PLANNING things (because we ALL know how much kiddos love to interrupt, even before they're born)... nothing has worked. And I really have tried... as much as I can, anyway.
I suppose I'm just one of those women who go for a whole 40 weeks of actual gestation (which would be tomorrow, as a matter-of-fact), at least the 22nd of Octboer will be 40 weeks of gestation from the date of the act... since sperm can, under the right conditions, live in the uterus for up to 7 days, the 22nd could possibly be as "little" as 39 weeks of actual gestation (since I know the day we DTD that got me with child). *sigh* It's not for a lack of knowledge this little bugger-boo isn't here... that's for sure!
I'm so glad no one has made the "royal" mistake of suggesting castor oil or something equally or even more dangerous (castor oil can cause the baby to poop in utero and we ALL know we don't want our babies inhaling THAT stuff... BAD BAD BAD!). Someone did suggest a trampoline tonight and I countered with the fact that I'd rather be preggie for a WHOLE week longer than lose my waters at the beginning of labor!!! I KNOW the difference between laboring with and without amniotic fluid and I would fight just about anyone to keep the cush of that fluid until the very end of the already difficult labor process!!!! It's that distinct and tremendous a difference!!!
As we were leaving church on Sunday our Stake President stopped Jess to ask about the next Food Storage food preparation class (he's done 3 so far, on a monthly basis, and they're a BIG hit). I had to use the bathroom. When I came out President Markovitz asked me how I was feeling &/or when we would have the baby and I said something dismissive about myself and that we were 11 days overdue. He immediately asked if I would like a blessing. WHY that hadn't occurred to me, I'm not sure, but I TOTALLY jumped at the opportunity. What a JOY and TRULY a blessing that blessing of comfort has been!!
I've felt SUCH peace concerning this pregnancy and just about EVERYTHING else in my life since Sunday afternoon!! The blessing was like a huge blanket, too... it touched on just about every subject my prayers regularly deal with and provided me with such hope and... HOPE! What's more than that!? Well, I also felt a sense of sureness that I didn't feel before... like the hopes I've had will come to pass, so it's like I've been given a huge blanket of "sure hope" like the kind I've read about... I've felt that sure hope through the whole of today and it's SUCH a tremendous source of comfort and peace!!! I feel so grateful and blessed!!!!!! So, even though I still want to have this baby whenever it's ready, I don't feel anxious about when s/he comes! YEAY... what a joy and relief!
Training
Monday night Mary Kay and Tim came over for FHE (they did the lesson!) and some training for Mary Kay. I worked on teaching Mary Kay how to cut a guy's hair. This is the way I'm contributing to the service trade with Mary Kay for her time teaching Ria how to play the piano. It was such a pleasure to have them in our home! Mary Kay REALLY caught on very quickly to the clipper/trimmer part of the cut and it was getting quite late when it was time for blending the clipper cut to the rest. I finished that up and we'll continue the less in a couple weeks, but she was doing REALLY well for a first-timer and I'm so excited to continue teaching her because she catches on so very quickly. It's a difficult thing, cutting a head of hair the right way (able to hold scissors and comb so that the process isn't too drawn out can be especially difficult to get the hang of and she did an AWESOME job!). I don't feel that I was at my best in verbalizing (one of the greatest annoyances of pregnancy to me!) the process, so that's yet another reason I'm so impressed with her and her understanding of my teaching! They are just such a totally sweet couple. They've been married about 5 months and they are totally sweet to be around without being the slightest bit annoying. :) At least, that's how I feel about how they interact.
Jess likes both of them as well, which is just wonderful to me as I hope we'll have many more opportunities to spend time with them. Tim spent time with our girls while I showed Mary Kay how to do a cut on Jess. Tim was just totally wonderful with them. They were really absorbed (even Kat!!! which is a HUGE deal) and totally entertained by the tiny-pumpkin decorating activity they brought over for our girls. What a JOY!
A Visit
I'm so excited and looking forward with great anticipation to a visit... my Mom is going to come see us!!!! We haven't seen her in ages (it'll be almost a year... or is it more than a year?) and we are totally looking forward to her company and any/everything we might get to do with her. Arguably the most exciting thing about the whole visit, for me, is that she'll be here for nearly TWO weeks!!!! It'll be really nice to have company and help from Jess and then my Mom after this babe's arrival... especially since I didn't really have that sort of constant companionship after either of the girls.
Showing posts with label overdue baby. Show all posts
Showing posts with label overdue baby. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
And We Have...
absolutely nothing going on to get this baby into the world. Well, that's not completely true. There are minor bits of action, but nothing progressing. I broke down Saturday evening over the whole issue and Ria said to me, "It's okay, Mama. The baby will come out someday!" She's SO funny! She always points out that sort of thing, which is really ALWAYS true, but sometimes doesn't feel like much of a relief.
A little while later Kat came over and patted my leg and then laid her head against my belly and soothed, "Tay Mama. Tay?" (The funny thing about that is Kat can totally pronounce the "k" sound quite well and does so regularly, but not for "okay" I guess.)
Calling Jess at Work
It's pretty funny because, from what I understand, Jessie's co-workers are totally anxious to know when the baby is born. I've heard there may even be two bets going on about the whole situation. One might be about WHEN the baby will come and the other, I've heard tell, is over WHAT the baby will be. Funny, right? My question, when Jess told me about possible betting was, "Are they giving us the winnings?!" heeheehee ;)
I try not to call Jess at work because it's distracting for him (I'm sure) and, especially now, when he hears someone has asked for him I'm sure he's hoping I'm calling to tell him to come home and help me through labor. It's not just him! I called a few days ago and he told me the staff had surrounded him around the phone. So he paused for a moment to say, "No, no baby." I'm pretty sure I heard a sigh of frustration from the group! And to them I say, YOU AND ME BOTH!!!! Seriously!
Today I called and one of the ladies in the kitchen answered. Jess was upstairs in sushi so she had to have him call me back, which meant she had to go way out of her way to get him for me. Before she hung up, she asked if I was calling because the baby was on the way. ^_^ How funny, right? I know the purpose of the question was to determine whether having Jess call me back was of an emergent nature or not, but still. Funny stuff.
Ria and Piano
For some reason piano practice did not go well today. I think it may be the transition from the black keys to the white ones. It's a hump for us, I think, but at least she has the easy keys of the keyboard rather than the harder to intone real notes on a piano. Hopefully she'll get over this "hump" before we're able to get a real piano. She's definitely still interested, at least, which I'm very grateful for!
A little while later Kat came over and patted my leg and then laid her head against my belly and soothed, "Tay Mama. Tay?" (The funny thing about that is Kat can totally pronounce the "k" sound quite well and does so regularly, but not for "okay" I guess.)
Calling Jess at Work
It's pretty funny because, from what I understand, Jessie's co-workers are totally anxious to know when the baby is born. I've heard there may even be two bets going on about the whole situation. One might be about WHEN the baby will come and the other, I've heard tell, is over WHAT the baby will be. Funny, right? My question, when Jess told me about possible betting was, "Are they giving us the winnings?!" heeheehee ;)
I try not to call Jess at work because it's distracting for him (I'm sure) and, especially now, when he hears someone has asked for him I'm sure he's hoping I'm calling to tell him to come home and help me through labor. It's not just him! I called a few days ago and he told me the staff had surrounded him around the phone. So he paused for a moment to say, "No, no baby." I'm pretty sure I heard a sigh of frustration from the group! And to them I say, YOU AND ME BOTH!!!! Seriously!
Today I called and one of the ladies in the kitchen answered. Jess was upstairs in sushi so she had to have him call me back, which meant she had to go way out of her way to get him for me. Before she hung up, she asked if I was calling because the baby was on the way. ^_^ How funny, right? I know the purpose of the question was to determine whether having Jess call me back was of an emergent nature or not, but still. Funny stuff.
Ria and Piano
For some reason piano practice did not go well today. I think it may be the transition from the black keys to the white ones. It's a hump for us, I think, but at least she has the easy keys of the keyboard rather than the harder to intone real notes on a piano. Hopefully she'll get over this "hump" before we're able to get a real piano. She's definitely still interested, at least, which I'm very grateful for!
Friday, October 17, 2008
It would be nice if I could...
just crawl into a shell and wait until this baby comes along. But, unfortunately, I have things to do and places to go. Thankfully, not too many places to go. Thursdays are our busy day. I seriously considered skipping our activities just because I didn't want to hear about it from the ladies, especially at dance class!
I guess it wasn't really so bad... if you're someone who doesn't mind people talking about you like you #1 can't hear or #2 aren't there! :( Seriously. I would think these people just landed on planet Earth or something. I thought I was of little tact/finesse, but they certainly take the cake right out of my mouth, I must say! I mean, can't they imagine that, yes, I would REALLY like to have this baby, but that maybe I have more on my mind than my personal comfort!? *sigh* It's REALLY depressing to me to realize how LITTLE people (women, especially) know about the processes of labor, birth, and the importance of limiting (eliminating!) drugs from the newborn's experience! I swear they ALL either asked when or if I would be induced. WHY!??! All of them were concerned about how they wouldn't be able to take being pregnant. Yeah, ok, it's difficult and emotionally debilitating, to be completely honest, but MAN, get over it! Seriously, I'd rather feel a little bummed or whatever and have a baby born in its own time and in a TRULY safe way than try to force the bugger-boo along and have complications due to underdevelopment or side effects of pit or the epidural!!! I swear... if I swore... *sigh*
I'm going to try to leave than rant alone, though I would really like to keep purging.
A Dentist in Our Future!
We're going to finally have dental insurance for Jess and the girls as of tomorrow! YEAY!!! Now... to find the money to use it so they can each SEE a denitist! Joke of the century, right? Perhaps that's what my next ChaCha check will be for, instead of the piano or homeschool stuff I was hoping to be able to fully payback/purchase. Rats, foiled again!
Story Time
So, if there was any room for wonder in my mind before, there is no longer. Ria is definitely a performer! Today after Story Time the story time volunteer lady had Ria choose a book to read to her. She'd mentioned she'd like Ria to do as much last week and did, indeed, follow through. Apparently (this is all through Jess and Ria), the other two adults who brought children decided to stay and observe as an audience.
So, Ria read a book she chose from the children's section. It was not a leveled reader, it was not a book she'd read previously, it was just one she randomly selected based on interest. She read it to the story time lady (and audience) and then was emphatically applauded. When Jess and I asked her how she felt about the people clapping for her when they were home, Ria got this sweet whistful/joyful expression on her face and said something like, "I felt like a princess on stage! I love it when people clap for me!" ^_^
The Story Time volunteer lady was duely impressed. She told Jess that Ria was a gifted reader. Jess responded that Ria had a good teacher (and I would add, teacherS!). The lady countered that, no, it didn't matter how good a teacher she had, Ria would be a gifted reader no matter what.
I beg to differ! The woman does not know how much effort and time went into the program we did to get her ABLE to develop on her own. Yes, Ria has made great progress since completing her huge step into reading via HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ IN 100 EASY LESSONS because she reads to herself, Kat, Jess, and me almost constantly, but she didn't teach herself!
To me, a gifted reader is one (like my brother Eddie was, I believe and like Jess was) who teaches him or herself to read by memorizing texts and making inferences based on prior memorizations! Ria IS exceptional, she TOTALLY DOES have an exceptional (perhaps genius of a) memory, but I'm quite sure she's not gifted in and of herself in reading... she's VERY motivated and loves to read (and since she doesn't get to watch TV all the time, she has LOTS of time for reading!), but she's not gifted in the way I think of as gifted. I'm sure she has her genius, but I don't believe we've found it just yet. :)
Still, I do have to admit that it's pleasant to hear that a career kindergarden educator believes my child is gifted. I'd be blowin' smoke where the sun don't shine if I tried to deny that! ^_^
Dance Class and Piano Class
Ria did well in both of her classes. I was able to watch a little of her dance class and she was quite attentive and followed along really well. I love to see her dance! And when the little girls do barr work at the beginning... I think it's about the sweetest and most beautiful thing!
We walked to piano class (the mere 5 blocks round trip) because Kat was tired and I didn't want her to sleep in a hot van! She slept through almost the whole piano class. So, because Kat was sleeping, I didn't get to sit in and watch/listen to her lesson.
Ria was fidgety and easily distracted, but did her lesson pretty well. Mary Kay told me she could really tell we'd worked on memorizing how to find the keys as well as counting notes while playing. I'm so glad! Ria did pretty well for me prior to the last lesson (with regard to counting her beats), but then didn't perform as well for her teacher. It seems her performance did improve this time.
Mary Kay was surprised by Ria's opinionated expressions today. Ria told her a few times (not rudely, at least, though) that she didn't want to do certain things for the lesson. I'm very frustrated to hear she would do such a thing with an adult outside of our family, but that's definitely a part of the phase we're dealing with lately! I'm glad, at least, to know that she knows what she wants and doesn't want (on the bright side?).
As of this lesson, we have transitioned from working exclusively on the black keys, to working on the white ones. That's so exciting to me, but also daunting because here's where praciticing on a keyboard becomes a bit of a detriment. Ria's little fingers aren't as strong as they need to be to play a piano with any clear sounding notes and the only way to get them stronger is to practice on a REAL piano! So, that's my goal for this weekend. I've already borrowed some money from someone who loves us and I've found TWO absolutely beautiful pianos for $100... now I just have to see if our hometeacher with a truck can take Jess to Jacksonville to buy one of them (assuming one or both are available)! One has a broken spindle (front leg from piano to foot), but they are both sound and gorgeous!!! I feel almost lucky to have missed the previous $100 pianos I've come across because these two are far more beautiful to me! Cross your fingers that it works out so Ria can practice on a real piano and keep making the awesome progress (and even better, strengthen her fingers in the way pianists need) as of this weekend. That's what I'm hoping right now! Actually, I'm hoping lots of things, but this is the one that seems most likely to pan out! ;)
I guess it wasn't really so bad... if you're someone who doesn't mind people talking about you like you #1 can't hear or #2 aren't there! :( Seriously. I would think these people just landed on planet Earth or something. I thought I was of little tact/finesse, but they certainly take the cake right out of my mouth, I must say! I mean, can't they imagine that, yes, I would REALLY like to have this baby, but that maybe I have more on my mind than my personal comfort!? *sigh* It's REALLY depressing to me to realize how LITTLE people (women, especially) know about the processes of labor, birth, and the importance of limiting (eliminating!) drugs from the newborn's experience! I swear they ALL either asked when or if I would be induced. WHY!??! All of them were concerned about how they wouldn't be able to take being pregnant. Yeah, ok, it's difficult and emotionally debilitating, to be completely honest, but MAN, get over it! Seriously, I'd rather feel a little bummed or whatever and have a baby born in its own time and in a TRULY safe way than try to force the bugger-boo along and have complications due to underdevelopment or side effects of pit or the epidural!!! I swear... if I swore... *sigh*
I'm going to try to leave than rant alone, though I would really like to keep purging.
A Dentist in Our Future!
We're going to finally have dental insurance for Jess and the girls as of tomorrow! YEAY!!! Now... to find the money to use it so they can each SEE a denitist! Joke of the century, right? Perhaps that's what my next ChaCha check will be for, instead of the piano or homeschool stuff I was hoping to be able to fully payback/purchase. Rats, foiled again!
Story Time
So, if there was any room for wonder in my mind before, there is no longer. Ria is definitely a performer! Today after Story Time the story time volunteer lady had Ria choose a book to read to her. She'd mentioned she'd like Ria to do as much last week and did, indeed, follow through. Apparently (this is all through Jess and Ria), the other two adults who brought children decided to stay and observe as an audience.
So, Ria read a book she chose from the children's section. It was not a leveled reader, it was not a book she'd read previously, it was just one she randomly selected based on interest. She read it to the story time lady (and audience) and then was emphatically applauded. When Jess and I asked her how she felt about the people clapping for her when they were home, Ria got this sweet whistful/joyful expression on her face and said something like, "I felt like a princess on stage! I love it when people clap for me!" ^_^
The Story Time volunteer lady was duely impressed. She told Jess that Ria was a gifted reader. Jess responded that Ria had a good teacher (and I would add, teacherS!). The lady countered that, no, it didn't matter how good a teacher she had, Ria would be a gifted reader no matter what.
I beg to differ! The woman does not know how much effort and time went into the program we did to get her ABLE to develop on her own. Yes, Ria has made great progress since completing her huge step into reading via HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ IN 100 EASY LESSONS because she reads to herself, Kat, Jess, and me almost constantly, but she didn't teach herself!
To me, a gifted reader is one (like my brother Eddie was, I believe and like Jess was) who teaches him or herself to read by memorizing texts and making inferences based on prior memorizations! Ria IS exceptional, she TOTALLY DOES have an exceptional (perhaps genius of a) memory, but I'm quite sure she's not gifted in and of herself in reading... she's VERY motivated and loves to read (and since she doesn't get to watch TV all the time, she has LOTS of time for reading!), but she's not gifted in the way I think of as gifted. I'm sure she has her genius, but I don't believe we've found it just yet. :)
Still, I do have to admit that it's pleasant to hear that a career kindergarden educator believes my child is gifted. I'd be blowin' smoke where the sun don't shine if I tried to deny that! ^_^
Dance Class and Piano Class
Ria did well in both of her classes. I was able to watch a little of her dance class and she was quite attentive and followed along really well. I love to see her dance! And when the little girls do barr work at the beginning... I think it's about the sweetest and most beautiful thing!
We walked to piano class (the mere 5 blocks round trip) because Kat was tired and I didn't want her to sleep in a hot van! She slept through almost the whole piano class. So, because Kat was sleeping, I didn't get to sit in and watch/listen to her lesson.
Ria was fidgety and easily distracted, but did her lesson pretty well. Mary Kay told me she could really tell we'd worked on memorizing how to find the keys as well as counting notes while playing. I'm so glad! Ria did pretty well for me prior to the last lesson (with regard to counting her beats), but then didn't perform as well for her teacher. It seems her performance did improve this time.
Mary Kay was surprised by Ria's opinionated expressions today. Ria told her a few times (not rudely, at least, though) that she didn't want to do certain things for the lesson. I'm very frustrated to hear she would do such a thing with an adult outside of our family, but that's definitely a part of the phase we're dealing with lately! I'm glad, at least, to know that she knows what she wants and doesn't want (on the bright side?).
As of this lesson, we have transitioned from working exclusively on the black keys, to working on the white ones. That's so exciting to me, but also daunting because here's where praciticing on a keyboard becomes a bit of a detriment. Ria's little fingers aren't as strong as they need to be to play a piano with any clear sounding notes and the only way to get them stronger is to practice on a REAL piano! So, that's my goal for this weekend. I've already borrowed some money from someone who loves us and I've found TWO absolutely beautiful pianos for $100... now I just have to see if our hometeacher with a truck can take Jess to Jacksonville to buy one of them (assuming one or both are available)! One has a broken spindle (front leg from piano to foot), but they are both sound and gorgeous!!! I feel almost lucky to have missed the previous $100 pianos I've come across because these two are far more beautiful to me! Cross your fingers that it works out so Ria can practice on a real piano and keep making the awesome progress (and even better, strengthen her fingers in the way pianists need) as of this weekend. That's what I'm hoping right now! Actually, I'm hoping lots of things, but this is the one that seems most likely to pan out! ;)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Blessings of Love and Tithing
"I believe with all my heart that if they will accept the gospel and live it, pay their tithes and offerings, even though those be meager, the Lord will keep His ancient promise in their behalf, and they will have rice in their bowls and clothing on their backs and shelter over their heads." A statement by President Gordon B. Hinkley in a missionary meeting, Philippines Cebu Mission, 1 June 1996. (“Inspirational Thoughts,” Ensign, Aug. 1997, 3)
Malachi 3:10 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
I felt so very sad and down when, last month, I couldn't put any money toward any of the charitable offerings we can do through the LDS church. Normally we don't do much, we do just enough to stretch (keep things from being too "cushy"), which is the point as I understood it from this one article/talk I read. Anyway... I was so sad and even cried about it and wondered in my small and silly way if I would be reprimanded for not being able to maintain those efforts I'd been making. Well, I have to say, I think NOT!
We've been blessed constantly to have our food storage tremendously supplemented with fresh fruits, veggies, bread, and milk for the past many weeks. If that's not blessings falling from heaven (and confirmation that I'm not being reprimanded), I don't know what is!
In addition to ALL of that, in the last couple of days we've been blessed by living angels! Yesterday, Jess called me from work to let me know that his co-workers had purchased 3 bags of newborn diapers for us! Then today, my dear friend, Heather, showed up to check on me because I'd sounded down on my voice mail. AND another of my dear friends, Sage, came by with pizza (which I've been TOTALLY craving for the last 2 weeks), root beer (my favorite soda!), vanilla ice cream (can you say root beer floats!?), and pickles (just because I'm preggie!) because she'd just been thinking about it for the last few days! Aren't those acts of service and love just the sweetest? I think I have room enough in my heart to receive all that love and I'm certainly trying to accept it without reservation, but it certainly does feel a bit overwhelming.
Ya know, I really feel I have to share (and I want to) that the most awesome part of all this is that when I was feeling my most desperate this past weekend, over the whole CRUD with Jess, I did have some fierce arguments with myself on many topics. One of those subjects of internal debate was regarding Heavenly Father's love and whether I deserved it or not... I thought that perhaps I'd done something wrong and wasn't a cherished daughter anymore. I know, I know... pretty silly and totally lame, but I was SUPER down. I was able to talk myself away from that stupidity, but it still FELT sort of real, even though I KNEW it wasn't. Ya know? Well, then these things happen... and I totally FEEL the love and FEEL cherished... and it makes me feel so totally and completely grateful! What an AWESOME Father in Heaven we have!!!!
Oh, and yes, I'm still preggie
I think the heading says it all! :) My across-the-street neighbor yelled across to ask if I'd had the baby. I think I look totally bloated and pregnant, but I guess not to everyone. Of course, she just realized I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago! (I seriously think I've looked pregnant for AT LEAST the last 2-3 months!) In answer to her query, I turned to the side and held my huge t-shirt over the belly so she could see for herself. She did, as most people do, the pitying facial expressions and then suggested I go for a run on the beach.
And THAT, my friends, is why I haven't left the house lately! I know people mean well, but seriously... pity and weird suggestions for inducing labor?! OF course, they don't know that I can barely walk because of either hip or back pain... and most recently because I'm feeling super front heavy! but if I went for a run and it caused labor to start, I wouldn't be able to labor in motion, which would cause the whole thing to drag out forever! The only really safe and sort of possibly effective methods of self-induction are: pressure points (acupressure, but I don't know enough about it to avoid the points that could cause the baby to pooh in utero!), acupuncture (OFTEN works, but we can't afford it), massage (could work, but can't afford it), and sex (which was just causing false labor and I just am not interested in it anymore for various reasons). So, possibly TMI*, but... I suppose that's still a bit "Tori" for ya. I really have improved in that regard, but it seems, on this subject especially, TMI goes with the territory.
ChaCha
I've maintained my Top Guide status thus far. I'm happy about that and pleased with my performance; especially when I accomplish a number of searches at 30 seconds or less! But even though my searches have improved, I haven't worked as much primarily because I'd felt guilty about working when the girls are awake and decided to curb that (and pretty much stopped it most of the time).
Even though I worked a lot less during the day, I've still maintained either a very heavy part-time job status or a light full-time job status (between 20 and 32 hours each week). My payout for the month was about half as much as last month... HOPEFULLY, though, I can purchase the Math program I want to start Ria on, but I'll have to make sure things work out in the budget as far as everything being covered by Jessie's paychecks. It should because we've still got another 2 checks coming for the month, which means catch-up money and rent... hopefully it'll work out so we can "officially" start Math in a way that doesn't scare the bejeebers out of me (and Jess, for that matter). My goal is to work for a piano in the next month... we'll see how that goes, of course. And if I have to cover bills, it won't happen. :(
*Too Much Information
Malachi 3:10 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."
I felt so very sad and down when, last month, I couldn't put any money toward any of the charitable offerings we can do through the LDS church. Normally we don't do much, we do just enough to stretch (keep things from being too "cushy"), which is the point as I understood it from this one article/talk I read. Anyway... I was so sad and even cried about it and wondered in my small and silly way if I would be reprimanded for not being able to maintain those efforts I'd been making. Well, I have to say, I think NOT!
We've been blessed constantly to have our food storage tremendously supplemented with fresh fruits, veggies, bread, and milk for the past many weeks. If that's not blessings falling from heaven (and confirmation that I'm not being reprimanded), I don't know what is!
In addition to ALL of that, in the last couple of days we've been blessed by living angels! Yesterday, Jess called me from work to let me know that his co-workers had purchased 3 bags of newborn diapers for us! Then today, my dear friend, Heather, showed up to check on me because I'd sounded down on my voice mail. AND another of my dear friends, Sage, came by with pizza (which I've been TOTALLY craving for the last 2 weeks), root beer (my favorite soda!), vanilla ice cream (can you say root beer floats!?), and pickles (just because I'm preggie!) because she'd just been thinking about it for the last few days! Aren't those acts of service and love just the sweetest? I think I have room enough in my heart to receive all that love and I'm certainly trying to accept it without reservation, but it certainly does feel a bit overwhelming.
Ya know, I really feel I have to share (and I want to) that the most awesome part of all this is that when I was feeling my most desperate this past weekend, over the whole CRUD with Jess, I did have some fierce arguments with myself on many topics. One of those subjects of internal debate was regarding Heavenly Father's love and whether I deserved it or not... I thought that perhaps I'd done something wrong and wasn't a cherished daughter anymore. I know, I know... pretty silly and totally lame, but I was SUPER down. I was able to talk myself away from that stupidity, but it still FELT sort of real, even though I KNEW it wasn't. Ya know? Well, then these things happen... and I totally FEEL the love and FEEL cherished... and it makes me feel so totally and completely grateful! What an AWESOME Father in Heaven we have!!!!
Oh, and yes, I'm still preggie
I think the heading says it all! :) My across-the-street neighbor yelled across to ask if I'd had the baby. I think I look totally bloated and pregnant, but I guess not to everyone. Of course, she just realized I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago! (I seriously think I've looked pregnant for AT LEAST the last 2-3 months!) In answer to her query, I turned to the side and held my huge t-shirt over the belly so she could see for herself. She did, as most people do, the pitying facial expressions and then suggested I go for a run on the beach.
And THAT, my friends, is why I haven't left the house lately! I know people mean well, but seriously... pity and weird suggestions for inducing labor?! OF course, they don't know that I can barely walk because of either hip or back pain... and most recently because I'm feeling super front heavy! but if I went for a run and it caused labor to start, I wouldn't be able to labor in motion, which would cause the whole thing to drag out forever! The only really safe and sort of possibly effective methods of self-induction are: pressure points (acupressure, but I don't know enough about it to avoid the points that could cause the baby to pooh in utero!), acupuncture (OFTEN works, but we can't afford it), massage (could work, but can't afford it), and sex (which was just causing false labor and I just am not interested in it anymore for various reasons). So, possibly TMI*, but... I suppose that's still a bit "Tori" for ya. I really have improved in that regard, but it seems, on this subject especially, TMI goes with the territory.
ChaCha
I've maintained my Top Guide status thus far. I'm happy about that and pleased with my performance; especially when I accomplish a number of searches at 30 seconds or less! But even though my searches have improved, I haven't worked as much primarily because I'd felt guilty about working when the girls are awake and decided to curb that (and pretty much stopped it most of the time).
Even though I worked a lot less during the day, I've still maintained either a very heavy part-time job status or a light full-time job status (between 20 and 32 hours each week). My payout for the month was about half as much as last month... HOPEFULLY, though, I can purchase the Math program I want to start Ria on, but I'll have to make sure things work out in the budget as far as everything being covered by Jessie's paychecks. It should because we've still got another 2 checks coming for the month, which means catch-up money and rent... hopefully it'll work out so we can "officially" start Math in a way that doesn't scare the bejeebers out of me (and Jess, for that matter). My goal is to work for a piano in the next month... we'll see how that goes, of course. And if I have to cover bills, it won't happen. :(
*Too Much Information
Friday, October 10, 2008
One Day Overdue
So, it looks like this baby will follow in his/her sisters' pattern in that s/he will be late. I SERIOUSLY hope not as late as either Ria OR Kat. Ria was 11 days and Kat was 14 days late. The last days are the hardest and I'm totally wiped out. I'm still not able to walk and becoming less and less able to be constantly mobile through the day. The hips become agitated after too much (30-45 minutes) constant standing/walking in the house. Also, fatigue definitely plays a part in how much my hips flare up. For whatever reason, they spasm really badly and I literally cannot move until it stops. It takes much longer to stop when standing, but, unfortunately, that's when it happens most! I'm actually becoming afraid to stand for very long at at time because it's such debilitating pain!
Jessie Helping Lots
Thankfully, Jess has been really good to me this time around. He says it's because he has more time, but, honestly, from my point of view it has MUCH more to do with more wise use of the time available! He actually swept the WHOLE house the other day. It was such a sweet gift to me because I'd been wanting to do it, but just couldn't make myself because I knew after two rooms I would have spasms (the last FEW times that's what happened) and if I can't sweep the whole house the dust and dirt left on the floor just goes from one room to another. It just feels really pointless!
Jess is still the "Dish King" which he has been for a while. My belly has made dishes nigh on impossible for a few weeks now. If I tried to do them (which I did this week), my back ends up spasming as badly or worse than my hips! Rough stuff, let me tell you!
What I Can Do
I have been able to maintain the laundry. I actually have NO dirty clothes in the laundry basket at this time and after Jess comes home I'll still have none because all worn clothes (right now) will be laundered immediately tonight. Of course, that means I have drying and folding to do, but one small load versus numerous loads is AWESOME!
I also spend time with the girls and ChaCha, though I didn't do that either of the last two nights. Ria and I have piano practice to work on, regularly, and I try to do reading class with her sometimes, too. I also want to do more writing class, but haven't made that a big priority because of my attention span, short temper, and fatigue (which the last two are certainly SUPER related).
Ria and Kat Contributing
Ria has been the most awesome helper lately! She's been doing many of her jobs without reminders and when asked to do something, she's totally willing and even lovingly responds, "I'll be happy to help you!" It makes me feel so blessed and LOVED! Kat hasn't been quite as helpful, but for 2 (she turned TWO yesterday!!!), and not having the kind of guidance to learn how to work as Ria did, she's really doing quite well. She also doesn't have as much to do because she doesn't (believe it or not) bring as much out into the house as Ria does. Ria has actually gotten MUCH better about her toys and books, too. She brings a LOT less to the living room than she used to. I think it's sort of sunk in that if she brings it out, she'll have to bring it back! Nice.
Kat and Potty Training
It's basically a done deal! :) She has had a few accidents, but they have (almost all) been due to hyper involvement in something and not allowing herself enough time to get to the potty before she had to let it go. She's actually wearing panties when we go anywhere. She even wore panties when we went from Dance class to Piano class yesterday AND kept them dry! I'm SUCH a pleased and impressed Mama! As I've mentioned a few times, I give her training "credit" to Jess, and Kat, of course. She was not interested in the potty at all until he involved himself and tried to get her to use it! So, Ria trained with and for me... and Kat did it for Daddy. Funny, huh?
Updating
I'm updating my voice mail on a daily basis (at night) to share the news regarding the baby. In the updates I share how many days overdue (as of today) I am, and so forth. You'd likely be able to hear, to some extent, my frame of mind as well as the actual message. The first time I left the message I think I sounded almost as tired as I felt, even though I certainly wasn't trying! The main reason for all this is that, even though I have a cell phone, I do NOT keep it with me. I'm aware of and concerned about the radiation issues inherent in and with cell phones, so treat it much more like a land line than most people do their cell phones. Having said that, it takes me a while to get anywhere and I can't stand to hear the phone ring much (I've even considered reducing the number of rings). So, combining my tolerance for hearing the ring (4 is the upper limit right now) and my inability to move quickly, I am rarely able to answer the phone. Most, if not all, of the people calling lately have been friends calling to check on the status of baby's birth/progress. Since I love that people care, but can't stand to repeat myself over much, I'm leaving the stats in my voice mail. If you have the number and think about us, go ahead and call to check! :) If you're lucky (or unlucky, as the case may be) I may answer if the phone is near me, but more than likely you'll get to hear whatever message I made in the evening of the most recent change. If you don't have my number, and want it, drop me an email and I'll send it along. If you want me to call you back about something specific, please state as much in the message AND let me know if I can call after 9pm, when my minutes are free. Otherwise, you might have to wait until the weekend for a call back!
Thanks for checking on us and loving us! We REALLY appreciate it!
Jessie Helping Lots
Thankfully, Jess has been really good to me this time around. He says it's because he has more time, but, honestly, from my point of view it has MUCH more to do with more wise use of the time available! He actually swept the WHOLE house the other day. It was such a sweet gift to me because I'd been wanting to do it, but just couldn't make myself because I knew after two rooms I would have spasms (the last FEW times that's what happened) and if I can't sweep the whole house the dust and dirt left on the floor just goes from one room to another. It just feels really pointless!
Jess is still the "Dish King" which he has been for a while. My belly has made dishes nigh on impossible for a few weeks now. If I tried to do them (which I did this week), my back ends up spasming as badly or worse than my hips! Rough stuff, let me tell you!
What I Can Do
I have been able to maintain the laundry. I actually have NO dirty clothes in the laundry basket at this time and after Jess comes home I'll still have none because all worn clothes (right now) will be laundered immediately tonight. Of course, that means I have drying and folding to do, but one small load versus numerous loads is AWESOME!
I also spend time with the girls and ChaCha, though I didn't do that either of the last two nights. Ria and I have piano practice to work on, regularly, and I try to do reading class with her sometimes, too. I also want to do more writing class, but haven't made that a big priority because of my attention span, short temper, and fatigue (which the last two are certainly SUPER related).
Ria and Kat Contributing
Ria has been the most awesome helper lately! She's been doing many of her jobs without reminders and when asked to do something, she's totally willing and even lovingly responds, "I'll be happy to help you!" It makes me feel so blessed and LOVED! Kat hasn't been quite as helpful, but for 2 (she turned TWO yesterday!!!), and not having the kind of guidance to learn how to work as Ria did, she's really doing quite well. She also doesn't have as much to do because she doesn't (believe it or not) bring as much out into the house as Ria does. Ria has actually gotten MUCH better about her toys and books, too. She brings a LOT less to the living room than she used to. I think it's sort of sunk in that if she brings it out, she'll have to bring it back! Nice.
Kat and Potty Training
It's basically a done deal! :) She has had a few accidents, but they have (almost all) been due to hyper involvement in something and not allowing herself enough time to get to the potty before she had to let it go. She's actually wearing panties when we go anywhere. She even wore panties when we went from Dance class to Piano class yesterday AND kept them dry! I'm SUCH a pleased and impressed Mama! As I've mentioned a few times, I give her training "credit" to Jess, and Kat, of course. She was not interested in the potty at all until he involved himself and tried to get her to use it! So, Ria trained with and for me... and Kat did it for Daddy. Funny, huh?
Updating
I'm updating my voice mail on a daily basis (at night) to share the news regarding the baby. In the updates I share how many days overdue (as of today) I am, and so forth. You'd likely be able to hear, to some extent, my frame of mind as well as the actual message. The first time I left the message I think I sounded almost as tired as I felt, even though I certainly wasn't trying! The main reason for all this is that, even though I have a cell phone, I do NOT keep it with me. I'm aware of and concerned about the radiation issues inherent in and with cell phones, so treat it much more like a land line than most people do their cell phones. Having said that, it takes me a while to get anywhere and I can't stand to hear the phone ring much (I've even considered reducing the number of rings). So, combining my tolerance for hearing the ring (4 is the upper limit right now) and my inability to move quickly, I am rarely able to answer the phone. Most, if not all, of the people calling lately have been friends calling to check on the status of baby's birth/progress. Since I love that people care, but can't stand to repeat myself over much, I'm leaving the stats in my voice mail. If you have the number and think about us, go ahead and call to check! :) If you're lucky (or unlucky, as the case may be) I may answer if the phone is near me, but more than likely you'll get to hear whatever message I made in the evening of the most recent change. If you don't have my number, and want it, drop me an email and I'll send it along. If you want me to call you back about something specific, please state as much in the message AND let me know if I can call after 9pm, when my minutes are free. Otherwise, you might have to wait until the weekend for a call back!
Thanks for checking on us and loving us! We REALLY appreciate it!
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