So Sorry the Silence

I've been busy... and busy not thinking... thinking does get in the way of allowing sometimes.

I've been told I think too much.  Generally, I wholeheartedly disagree.  However, there ARE times...

So, there are some great things coming up for me and my family.  Difficult and rather scary things, but truly great, too!  I'm really excited to share them with you, but must forebear.  Not entirely sure why, but I'm sure that'll be made clear at some point in the future... at some point in the future.  :)

One thing I can tell you is: I am happy.

This seems to be the Spring/Summer of my 'seasons' and I am striving to enjoy the sun and warmth available.  Sorta storing up spiritual nourishment for the dark night that will eventually follow.

Wonderful seasons.  I love seasons.  Both the kind that we can look out the window and observe AND the kind that can be compeltely unknown to the casual observer in some people who do not show emotions much.  I'm not one... even when I attempt to play it low-key, I'm relatively sure it's quite obvious what season I'm in.  I don't always love this about myself, but I'm working hard to remain accepting of it.  I AM grateful for seasons.  It sure is difficult to bare the winter sometimes, I admit freely.  But always ALWAYS worth it.

Do you remember that I write over at One Roll at a Time?  I do!  Make sure you check in there.  I'm one of the writers for the first week each month!

Putting Myself Out There

I was recently told, in the form of a suggestion, that maybe I shouldn't put myself (and my business) out so openly because people will interpret what they will and read into what I share as they may.  While I definitely realize this is true, when I encounter repeated instances of people misconstruing what I communicate, when I deal with people twisting my words and making something I said or wrote into something else entirely, well, I think 'that-there' is a good reason for frustration if ever there was one.  I mean, I recently had someone lie directly to my husband (in real life conversation) about something this person said I put on Facebook.  Thankfully my husband actually knew what I HAD written in this case.  And, as a matter-of-fact, in this case the person speaking the lie was speaking a combination of something I had written, my husband had written, and their own interpolation*.

Anyway, this is not only a gripe fest about what other people say that I don't like.  Actually, I'm done with that part.  ;)

My main purpose in writing this itty bitty post is to simply let you know why I put myself out there.  Why in the world do I share as much as I do (though I honestly DO keep a lot to myself)?  Why do I speak candidly about much?  Why I do I put myself out there?

Here it is:

I put myself out there because I have found that life can feel awefully lonely at times.  But in the lonliest of times, I have consistenly been taken to places in this interesting and, dare I say, amazing world-wide-web, where I find someone whose story is a bit like mine.  And I feel a kindred-spirit-ness... and for a few minutes... maybe a few days... I don't feel so alone.

Now, one might say, "You should turn to God to fill that hole."  And I would say, "You are absolutely correct!  And I strive to do just that.  Yet there are moments (and days) when I feel a great urgency and desire to feel like I'm not the only one who ____... just for a little while."

I believe this feeling is not one that I alone feel.  And because of my experiences with being guided or Led to certain items, sources of information, peoples' blogs when I needed what was contained therein, I believe firmly that what I feel a need to share may be used by our Awesome God to help someone else whose story is similar to mine and who desires a few moments of feeling like they aren't alone.  Just like I do.  Because, when it comes right down to it... no matter how different we are, we are ALL the same, too.

*interpolate (the definition I like best, though in this case the falsification was spoken):
#3. To change or falsify (a text) by introducing new or incorrect material.

Personal Update

We're busy. But things are good, for the most part.

This week has not been quiet. Tuesday I actually left the house with just the baby! We went to the library and grocery shopping. She sat in the cart seat for only the second time (but this time was a lot longer than the first). She LOVED it. She seemed to really enjoy having me all to herself, too. :) What a sweet girl our Tea is!

She is, amazingly, not walking without holding on to someone or something. She's a bit of a scaredy-cat. Like me. :( But she's standing without holding on to anything much more frequently. She CAN walk, she just won't because of the whole scaredy-cat thing.

Thursday we brought Jess to work so we would have the van to get to our Homeschool Group's Open House. That was really interesting and nice. I enjoyed being among many women/families I knew were making the same tough choice we have! I still felt quite alone most of the time... ah, well. I think it's very much related to the depression I've been tied up in since my Uncle left. Ugh. Let me tell you, this stuff is NO fun. A sweet sister, Jean, from church called me as I was on my way home. One of my earth Angels whispered to by God to remind me that though I may FEEL alone, I'm not really. She just wanted to make sure I was okay because I didn't seem myself at church on Sunday (4 days prior). How kind of her! One of the "small" miracles in my life.

We arrived home in enough time to get something to eat and for the girls to "do school" and play a little bit before it was time to get going to church for Ward Council. I'm really glad it's only once a month just because keeping the van is not easy AT ALL. Right after WC was done, we went to pick Jess up from work. Thankfully we didn't have to wait for him this time!

Another "small miracle" followed the very next day. Friday I believe I posted the link to an article I read that effected me tremendously. My friend Stacy called while I was reading it, I called her back after I finished it. I was very upset, she'd been calling initially to see if we'd like company. She and her 2 daughters came over for the evening. It was LOVELY!

Jessie's family is coming to visit on Monday. We're very excited about the visit. As with all such good stress, it is still stress... probably mostly for Mamas. I haven't been able to clean as I would like because of my focus on politics... but it's not a pig's sty, either. :)

Today is actually a "down" day and I will hopefully accomplish more in the house than I have heretofore accomplished. We'll see.

Life will get busier for us coming in the foreseeable future. We have homeschool activities, volunteer opportunities, and Church activities/responsibilities to see to and attend. So, September (particularly 1 week in that month) will be quite busy. That one week will require me to take Jess to work 3 days in a row. Can we say... "Tired children"? I think there will be some! But I'm excited to be more often among women who really understand the realities of homeschooling. I've been homeschooling more often than not for around 3+ years now, but it's been quite lonely. I look forward to the feeling of buoyancy I have already felt in knowing some women who've made the same choice Jess and I have! It has already been sweet relief to know a few and become good friends with at least one such lady. ^_^