Dream Tea and Remembering Dreams

Found Picture

I think dreams are neat.

I don't particularly like the ones after which I feel yuck, but even those have their worth. I'm not sure what the worth is of too many of them, but I'm sure they serve some purpose or other.

Although I know we are told we dream every night, it’s been some times since I regularly remembered my dreams.  I like to remember them.  I feel some sense of accomplishment when I can remember them.  And then there are those that are actual communication from above.  Those, I have to say, are THE coolest.  But if I’m not remembering my dreams, maybe I’m missing out on some of those communications.

Yes, I know my subconscious retains it, but I want to remember it at the front of my mind and have the opportunity to ponder on and consider the dreams.

So, when I was, as far as I knew, still preggie, Jess and I decided to buy some bulk herbs that could help with the pregnancy.  Mountain Rose Herbs is a great company to go with, I think. I've purchased from them before and I have always been pleased with their products.  This was my first bulk herb and tea purchase.  I continue to feel just as pleased as I did with the other products I'd purchased previously.

One tea I bought is supposed to help the drinker remember their dreams.  Thus far, it is DEFINITELY working for me.  I've remembered bits and pieces since the first night I drank it and last night I remembered quite a bit more.

For instance, I remembered that I was single and there were a hand-ful of guys wooing me.  This was particularly pleasant because I have been asking Jessie to do just that... woo me.  It would've been better if HE had been the woo-er.  But the dream was nice, none-the-less.

So, the point?  I highly recommend this tea.  That's all.  Hopefully I'll be an affiliate soon and you can buy through me!  ^_^  I'm not one yet, but I'll let you know if I become one... or look around here and maybe you'll see a button or banner to get to them through me.

A Walker

No... I'm totally not old enough to need one of them YET. :) And if you know us, you know our babies don't go IN them... So, that's leaves: Tea to take her first steps.

AND she DID!!! It was exciting for all of us. She did it rather matter-of-factly... even sitting down and standing right back up. Of course, it was a total of about 4 steps (the walking part), but STILL! The whole squatting, standing, sitting, standing thing (she did that more than the number of steps!) seems to indicate to me that she's completely ready (I've been saying as much), but wanted to take her own sweet time. :)

Oh, guess WHO she walked to... Any guesses? I hope you'll share who you think she walked for in my comments. The person to whom she walked was cheering her on... Okay, ready for some release from this tremendously tingly temptation? ... Well, I'll let you know tomorrow! Hopefully. It's a busy day, after-all. ;)

^_^ heeheehee

New-ish Stuff

TEA
Can you believe she'll be a year old in less than 2 months now? I marvel over that each day!

A couple of weeks ago, now, Tea gave me a HUG!!! It was probably right before she turned 10 months old. It was wonderful and I felt giddy with warm-fuzzies. :)

She has taken some steps without holding on to anything. BUT she's still not willing to strike out on her own. Still a bit of a scardy-cat like Mama. :( ahwell... they can't all have only good qualities. ;)

Tea LOVES to play the face game. While nursing she grabs my finger and points to parts for me to name. Sometimes I'll ask about a part and she'll try to point to the correct one. It's pretty neat how often she gets some of them correct (like nose, lip, hair, and chin) and others wrong.

I think it was about 10 days ago that I realized Tea was telling me she needed to get her butt changed when she came over to me fussing. The way she was fussing was basically the same as asking for some nursing time. So I nursed her. But as I held her I could SMELL her. When I commented that she needed butt change, she smiled SO huge! She wasn't super happy to be popped off the boob, but she WAS happy to get a clean butt! Oh, and Chris, I stand by my phrase "butt changed" because I'm changing her butt from a dirty to a clean state. ;) (Chris, my brother-in-law, made fun of that phrase, in a kind way, when he and my sister visited a while back.) Anyway, since that first realization, Tea comes to me each time she needs her butt changed! She's SUCH a smart baby!!!

KAT
ALMOST THREE YEARS OLD!!!

This little lady is excited about learning. She asks, almost every day, to "do school". As a result she is in lesson 20 (out of 100) of my favorite book. She recognizes her numbers well (out of order) and seems to understand that they represent a number of things (only the first five, but still).

She started Dance again last Thursday and LOVES it. Tap is still her favorite, but she happily "tolerates" ballet. Kat is super excited about going on stage. She still doesn't understand that it won't happen for quite a while.

Kat still LOVES to color. She asks for the crayons at least once a day. Very recently she started coloring one picture more than ONE color! Actually, she's adopted big sister's rainbow theme. :)

That provides a nice segue into the idea that Kat still absolutely adores Ria and thinks everything Ria does is golden. Thankfully, Ria is mostly a good girl. But MAN... it sure is rotten when she isn't!

RIA
Daily "school" activity has grown. She used to do mostly just Reading and Math. Then we added piano when Mary Kay, her teacher, moved into town. Now she does those daily as well as: Writing/Penmanship, Spelling (almost every day), Science (about 3 days a week), History (4 or 5 days a week), Bible Character Study (daily), Spanish (4-5 days per week), and Language Arts (4-6 days per week). I would like to focus on fewer subjects each day and accomplish the weekly goal in concentrated packs of time, but Ria does better with more variety. So, we do variety! She LOVES Astronomy (her Science subject for this year) so far and still loves Math. YEAY! Hopefully she'll like History better than her first day with it. All in all it's going very well, the introduction of more work. I'm so glad.

Ria still loves Dance. She was disappointed that she didn't get to go to class this past Thursday. But because the studio is in transition, her class doesn't start until this coming Thursday. She's very excited to get back into it. Hopefully things will work out so that she will be able to continue through, without interruption, until her recital at the end of the school year. If you think of it, and want to, please pray for our van. If we have to pay for another repair anytime soon, THAT will eat up the budget for Dance (which is obviously higher with 2 in it now).

Ria finished the Chronicles of Narnia series last week. She's only got a couple more books by Laura Ingalls Wilder (and one by her daughter) left to read in that "series". She continues to enjoy the Nancy Drew Mysteries (she LOVES mysteries!) and read the most recent Magic Treehouse book in a couple hours, just for fun! ^_^ She's a big reader! She does enjoy other entertainments, but throughout the day (after "school") she often sits with a stack of books from her room to read! I'm so lucky!!!

A few days ago Ria said to me something like, "I'm so glad you wanted me to take piano! I just LOVE to play piano!" The thing about that is that she doesn't seem to remember that she asked to learn how to play piano. That fact is kinda funny to me because she obviously only remembers the time she's recently passed through of wanting to QUIT taking piano, but she's glad I wouldn't let her. Jess was actually willing to let her quit, but because of my own issues with giving things up way too easily (less endurance than I would like), I feel really strongly about enabling our kids to have stronger self-control than I developed as a child.... Thus, not quitting things on a whim. If we did, we would've left Dance class the week she complained. It was only a week (one day's class) that she didn't want to continue. She loved it before, she's loved it since. If she wanted to quit dance again, we would make a deal about giving it a certain number of months to continue and then she could make that determination. But I think doing it on a whim is just not the right way (for US). That's what works for us and Jess is glad to support it, since we had a discussion about the subject of quitting, in general. Thankfully he seems to have the gift of discernment pretty naturally! Sometimes it just requires a little effort on my part to begin to paint a possible outcome of our actions for him to see how things could continue on a wrong course from there.

The Girls
Ria and Kat still pretend Tea is their puppy sometimes. She's still called Muffie, as a puppy! :) Tea still crawls away from me (more and more, actually) to search out her sisters IN THEIR ROOM. They play so nicely among each other as well as together! Tea actually enjoys bath time now! I think she didn't enjoy it so well before because she didn't GET that it could be enjoyable. I had her watch her sisters a couple months ago and since then she's LOVED it. Of course, they take baths together. Ria and Kat love to have "their baby" in the tub with them. They've asked if I will leave her to play with them. I've made a deal that I will start to leave the room once in a while for short periods of time when the baby is 15-18 months old. (That's still a ways off, right? heehee) I'm so lucky my girls enjoy each other so well and WANT to spend time together!

Jessie
Still working hard. He is still working 12+ hour days Wednesday through Saturday. Sundays are still 3pm until about 10:30pm. Unless their not. Sometimes he has to go in early (like 1pm, or 8am!) and some days off he actually has to work... or do inventory. *sigh* I think this is what it will be for a time, though. As much as the girls would like to have him around more (and I certainly wouldn't mind), we have to sacrifice now to experience the reward of it later. Thankfully, Jess loves his job (most of it). He rarely complains about the parts he doesn't love.

He's been fishing more recently. And since we have PE on Tuesday mornings, he'll get to sleep in one morning a week! I hope he does.

A buddy of his from the Club will become a Daddy soon. And another buddy from Church, too. So, Jess has become the experienced Father! Isn't that cool? Those guys really are lucky to have a good example of how to be a good Dad in Jess.

Mostly his life is consumed by work and just hanging out with us. :)

Tori
I'm still working on learning about the politics stuff. Mostly, though, I've been trying to share what I know with people I meet and spend time with. It's difficult to find that so few people know what's happening (especially when subjects as important as our Parental Rights hang in the balance!).

In other news about me... I'm going to begin working on becoming a La Leche League Leader. I know, right. :) About time, don't you think? Well, I think it's perfect timing.

My time has been consumed lately. Most of it is eaten by lesson preparation, but I'm still trying to read ahead (of Ria). All in due course for a homeschoolin' Mama, of course.

I'm also trying to read to become a better person. I recommend THE PROPER CARE AND FEEDING OF MARRIAGE. It's helping me change my heart and thoughts about some things that I know I need to change.

There have been more outside "time eaters" since the beginning of the "school year". Good things (and, obviously, since I'm DOING them, I deem them the best for the circumstances). One "time eater" is the PE group we're meeting with once a week to get outside and spend time with other homeschoolers and for the girls to have exposure to a wide variety of sports. It is good fun and SUCH balm to my feelings of NOT belonging anywhere I have been for the last 3 years (actually much longer than that). I've found more women who think/feel as I do about conception planning (or not), child rearing, God fearing, health, nutrition, treating illness, and education (of course) than I think I've ever found in my life before becoming involved with the homeschool groups around here. And yes, that does include, in large part, ladies from Church. It's nice to feel a sort of belonging!

A one time "time eater" happened last Wednesday. The girls and I were able to participate in a Community Service activity. It's actually in preparation for another one (on the 19th), so I guess it's a two time "time eater". ^_^ One of the PRIZE moments of Wednesday morning was when Kat was rinsing out some bottles. Ria, Kat, Tea, and I were in a room away from the rest of the volunteers. I'd just been thinking what a bummer it was that my kids were not going to get to work with others... that they had to get stuck with Mama AGAIN. And Kat says (almost exactly, if not exactly), "It feels good to work together in here!" And she said something along those same lines no fewer than two other times as well. I realized that it doesn't matter if they get to do the service/volunteer work with others or not, what matters is that they know what they are doing because the resulting feelings come regardless of who else is around! WHAT A BLESSING! I also realized that being put in a separate room gave us more time to increase the Unity in our family. And THAT is always ALWAYS a blessing!

Another sweet experience of that morning is the realization that Tea could tell what we were doing! AND for a while, she participated by taking the bottles we were rinsing out of the origin box and handing them to Ria who unscrewed the lid, took off a paper, and set them on the table for Mama to move to the sink. (Tea was a step in the process!) That didn't last long, but she participated, too! (And she is only 10.5 months old!) Isn't that awesome?!?!!

We did end up working with the other volunteers before all the work was done. I think the main organizer thought it was iffy that my little ones could contribute in any meaningful way. He and that other volunteers were pleasantly surprised, based on their reactions, at how well my girls worked and how MUCH they accomplished. Work that was supposed to last until Noon was finished at 10:30am. Now, that's not just because of my daughters, of course. But they didn't hurt the process, either (as I'm pretty sure some feared)! ^_^ What a good experience it was for me to feel that they were pleased and impressed and by so feeling, hope that Father may be pleased by our efforts to become civic minded and involved in our community! I know one of the volunteers was happy to get to know us because she heard me reading aloud to my girls in the public library a few days later and came to find me just to say hi. What a pleasure! I'm so thankful for the opportunity that homeschooling affords us ALL to be involved in the community in this way (and hopefully others as well, in the future)! What a blessing to feel that we can make a difference, little bit by little bit! :)

I haven't really lost much more pounds on the scale, but I've been hearing more comments about looking thinner. Ria has even told me that she thinks I'll have to get clothes that are small like hers soon. (Of course, she also tells me, at other times, that she loves my fat rolls!) ^_^ Who knows. I think I just look like a little bit smaller me... not as distinctly different as I would like to look (and how I feel I looked at my smallest points before). I do feel better (as long as I stay away from sugars and the carbohydrates that are NOT a part of the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. My guts are better, too, as long as I stick to SCD. I rather hope I won't have to always remain so strict, but for now I do (and I have tested that recently). I'm all right with it. I'm glad to feel I am healthier and my guts are healing! THAT is a huge blessing.

I'm sorry, if you like to read my personal posts, that I haven't been writing as much here. I've been very busy, though. Well, just busy. :) I feel really mentally and emotionally well... even amid some really painful sorts of things that have happened recently. Heavenly Father is merciful! We are very blessed!!!

It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's a...

TEA!!!

It's the funniest thing. I want to get a picture, but my batteries died and they are currently recharging.... Anyway, Tea's been doing this funny little thing with her arms. She'll sit and play with something and then crawl a bit, and then sit again. Thus far I haven't been able to observe any aparent rhyme or reason for what follows, but she'll raise her arms up, like she's doing a bit of backstroke (swiming) in a sitting position. Both arms move up and back at the same time... so it's also like she's trying to fly through the air backwards. Every time I get lucky enough to see her do this it makes me smile and even giggle to myself because she just looks SO funny. I really am going to try to get a picture/video of it.

About pictures...

I have lots I want to upload. Video, too. But we've been having some technical difficulties. :( I'm worried that our only online capeable computer is on the fritz. It's okay, I suppose, in one way... I'm spending more time reading books I need to read (as well as some I don't NEED to read - like finishing the last TWO Potter books in 5 days - two of which Jess was home and I was totally engrossed in the world of You-Know-Who!) and studying information I feel Father wants me to know. But the bad part is that I've been feeling an ever increasing need and desire for communion with other homeschooling Mom's. For my situation, the internet is an absolute must for me to be able to connect to other Mom's in similar circumstance to mine. So, if you feel it worth your time, it would mean a lot to me if you would say a prayer for my computer! I know, maybe that sounds silly, but I know the power of prayer is mighty, even to the right-ing of electronic blunders!!

Over the Two Week Mark

Since I always write about what is most present on the front of the stage of my mind:

Tea is SUCH a sweet baby!!! WOW!! She's been having some growth spurt sleeping (in a way I have not encountered with either of my previous daughters). She barely wakes up to nurse my OVER-full food producers. This has caused me some seriously painful food factories! OWWW! I've had to wake her and TRY to wake her more times that I can count, already!! This is REALLY strange for me because both Ria and Kat almost always woke up to eat EXCEPT for during growth spurts. This little one has slept right through MANY times my food makers are letting me know they need some relief prior to this growth spurt as well as during it. Interesting....

My Mom Visiting
I haven't made it to loading the rest of the pictures or videos because we've been rather busy with my Mom's visit (much, if not most, of it regular life stuff - like tomorrow's midwife visit and today's Primary Activity Day).

It has been lovely to have my Mom here. She's been SUCH a help around the house and with Ria and Kat. They are not starving for as much as attention as they desire the way it seemed they were before she was here.

I'm already dreading her departure in a week (as of tomorrow). The dread is definitely due to more than the things I've previously mentioned. I've been through some truly cruddy emotional stuff due to circumstances NOT hormones (this time!) and it has been a comfort and relief to have my Mom around - even though I really haven't spoken much about the issues... not as much as I used to, anyway. She is still a HUGE comfort!

Desensitization
You know "nasal fatigue"? It's the experience of living or being near a foul odor long enough that your nose sort of stops smelling the rottenness (or your brain stops perceiving it). Well, due to some stuff that's happened recently, I think that hearts can experience a sort of 'ache fatigue' OR 'break fatigue'. In my personal experience it involves an experience of KNOWING that you feel something, but not REALLY feeling it. Or, maybe the feeling is present for a few moments and then it winks out, like a lightbulb whose fuse has been worn out and given way. What do you think? Have you had such an experience with your heart (or other emotional center)? Or am I, yet again, just a major weird-o?? Well, if it's the latter rather than either of the former, I suppose I have to wear the shoe! hahaha

More Pictures

The day after birth.

Kat prepares to hold Tea for the 1st time!

Mary Kay and Tim, our 1st visitors.

Mama brushing out that hair.The result. :)


Kat was very upset about something before she
fell asleep & the only thing that calmed her was
my promise that I would make sure she could hold
Tea before she went to bed. Even though she's
obviously not coherent, this is the kept promise!

Weirdness-ES

Blues
So, it seems the baby blues have subsided... I'm no longer crying between 6:30 and 9pm. YEAY!! That was really annoying and frustrating, but, in a way, sort of convenient, since it happened like clockwork, really. Weird!

Voting
I took a stand. I tried to make my "voice" heard in the vote... and still the liar has taken office. Oh, I'm so disappointed in my countrymen. For the first time... opposite Michelle Obama, I'm disappointed in my country!!! :( I feel rather fearful as well. Jess isn't so pessimistic. He figures "the man" will do SOMEthing good. I do hope so... but that hope is rather hollow. *sigh* The media certainly is fully behind this guy. Seems sort of... fitting, in a disturbing and WERID sort of way.

Dispositions
Tea is a smiler! She tends to be a bit of a night owl (at least her natural tendancy leans that way), BUT she's most smiley in the morning. Weird, right? My friend Erin visited on Sunday and Tea was smiling like nothing could stop her practically the whole time Erin held her! Of course, Tea had just awakened, so I think that was a lot of it... this baby REALLY smiles when she wakes up. Kind of fitting since her older sisters are both at their best (and happiest) in the morning. Neither Jess nor I prefer morning hours... we're much better/happier in the afternoon/evening than first thing. So, we don't know where our girls get it, but we certainly feel lucky. Unfortunately, for us, Kat TOTALLY takes after Mama in her BAD MOOD wake-ups from naps!!! Fortunatley, for us, she's slowly coming out of the need for daily naps. Happy for the day they're all but eradicated. ;)

Mental
This is my own personal weirdness. The thoughts have been really... odd. I've had this really strange, overwhelming, feeling of pointlessness. Like nothing really matters anyway. This seems to be a sort of cyclic thing in my brain... it's not a thought process I prefer and I certainly aim to depart from it as soon as I recognize it, but it's also a way of thinking that seems to settle in me periodically. It seems to happen most when I'm busiest doing things that feel like nothing... like after a baby joins our family and I'm busy sitting on my bum nursning a LOT! This time around I've been nursing "on the go" more than ever - specifically because of the weirdness of 'pointless-ness' thoughts.

Visitor
Our special Mimi visitor arrives sometime tomorrow!!!!! We're SO excited!! The girls are just generally excited. Jess is excited that he's going to get a bit of a break from his daughters' attentions (hahaha!!). I'm excited to see my Mom after more than a year!! Jess will probably start working a part-time job (possibly two of them) again while my Mom is here... so I'm glad to have her companionship to look forward to during this expected transition. I've done it before (the transition from having Jess around to him ALWAYS being gone at one job or another), and know it to be difficult for me... this time, with 3 girls and an anticipated VERY weirdly wonky schedule with the 3 jobs, I'm SUPER glad to look forward to having my Mom here!!!

One Week Old

It's been a long, yet fast week. Tea is a sweet SWEET baby. She has cried, but generally she talks for quite a while before she belts out a complaint. WHAT a blessing!!! I've had many opportunities to feel grateful over such behavior from this newborn. The times I am most thankful, I'll admit freely, are those that occur in the middle of the night. She wakes up to eat and she talks to us and waves her hands about to get my attention. Last night I got out of bed when she was just barely stirring because I felt absolutely famished. I was gone at least 10 minutes. When I returned, her conversational tone had diminished and she was into some more demanding noises, but still not crying!! What a treasure!

She is lovely, to boot. :) Of course, I would have to think so, but seriously... she's had NO real jaundice (her nose looked a little yellow one day, but that's IT!). I attribute this absence (both Ria and Kat were pretty jaundice, Ria more than Kat) to the extended attachment we allowed Tea to her placenta. Ria had about 30 minutes (and that was stretching it for the hospital), Kat had just about an hour, and Tea had about 1.5 hours. I think that last 30 minutes really made a difference. Anyway... she's just adorably pink and, of course, plump. What a beautiful girl!!

The Family
We are doing pretty well, all around. Baby blues set in for me the night of the day my milk came in. Pretty typical. I've been weepy at least once daily, but nothing moving deep into the darker stuff. In a way, I'm grateful to have had the experience of PPD after Ria's birth so that I can recognize it, were it to try to sneak it's nasty head in my head and heart again. I can totally deal with weepy... and even the roller coaster emotions SO much more easily than that rougher stuff!!! I wouldn't wish PPD (especially the way I had it) on the most despicable person in the world! UGH.

Adjustment for the sisters
Ria and Kat have had some adjustment issues. Who wouldn't!? My midwife put it this way: It's like your hubby coming home with a new woman and saying, "Here's my new wife. She won't ever leave, you have to like her, and you don't have any say about the matter." Well, I can certainly put up with some tantrums from my sweet elder daughters in light of THAT sort of emotional tumult, eh? I do think Ria and Kat are having far fewer issues than many children have... they mostly throw tantrums to hold Tea... or because they can't hold her. There have been some weird, "Where did that come from" sort of episodes, but that's understandable (in my opinion - especially remembering some of the things I thought when there was a new kid brought home!).

Visitors
We've had TONS of visitors. It's amazing how many people have dropped by unexpectedly. I can't say I've minded, exactly, but I know they expect to hold the baby... and when there's already someone here who'd made plans to come (for some baby time, I'm sure) I don't feel like I can take Tea away from someone with whom she's happy AND someone who made an 'appointment'. Ahwell...

I know this baby was anticipated greatly! Everyone who knew us has asked constantly about her. And then, with the scarry stuff after the ultrasound - and my state of mind... I imagine they can't really help themselves. I think it has to do with how much concern they've sort of invested in the whole situation, ya know? So, really, it's quite sweet that so many people have shown, in the very concrete way of showing up at the door, that they care.

I can't help but think/feel that many of my unexpected visitors have come to see what the 'weird homebirthing woman' looks like only days after her "harrowing" experience. The adjective I used is what I imagine they think about it, not what I think or feel. When my midwife asked me to describe my labor and birth experience (for some paperwork) my immediate reaction and verbalization was, "Long and drawn out." And that's really all there is to it. It was hard work (okay, perhaps that's an understatement), but totally and completely worth it. Would I wish to have the duration of this last labor repeated? Heck no!! But the product (sweet Tea) is totally worth all that effort! :)

Jess
Jess is, once again, an awesome Dadddy. I've tried to make sure he gets to hold Tea at least once each day (sort of difficult on the days he's had to work). Up until yesterday she cried each time he held her. Yesterday, however, she was totally content to be with him and just looked! She was still not fussing when he turned her back over to me. When he took her that time I'd said something about how she wasn't crying and I wanted him to have some time to hold her while she was happy. He said, "Oh, I'll change that." But he didn't! This is THE earliest that any of our newborns have stayed calm when Daddy held them, I think. It really bothered Jess with Ria, but this, the third, time around he's of the mind that it's just the way it goes when they are so small... they want to food factory... Mama. So, it was a nice surprise when Tea was totally content and alert with him AGAIN today! :) Great... already turning into a Daddy's girl! This usually doesn't happen until they are 9 months old, or so... *sigh* Makes sense, though. Jess talked to Tea while she was in utero a LOT more than either of her older sisters.

More pictures will follow soon.