Saturday Soliloquy #6

Temple Square

because Ria asked (October 7, 2012)

I know the Temple at Temple Square in SLC, UT is beautiful.  I’ve been there.  I’ve even got a picture or two of me in front of it.  However, I don’t really remember anything at all about the Temple or the surrounding grounds.  I went there pretty often.  I remember at least three distinct visits.  I think, honestly, it was probably more.

The only thing I really remember of Temple Square are the sweet Sister Missionaries who were such a blessing and comfort to me.  As I reflect upon those visits to Temple Square now, I think I was seeking Christ in my own limited and rebellious way.  Although I did not find Him in the way He must have desired, I found His Love in those sweet Sister Missionaries.

Their names are gone from my mind.  Their faces are erased.  Beauty is the only thing about their physical appearance that I can remember.  Each one was radiant.  I wanted to BE them.  I wanted to BE a missionary (even though I decried any belief in the LDS Church at the time).  I wanted to feel love for everyone the way they so obviously did.

I knew they felt this amazing love for everyone, you see, because it was so very obvious that they loved me.  Steeped in sin as I was at that time in my life, they loved me.  They listened.  They accepted me.  The comforted me.  And it was just perfectly clear and obvious to me that they loved me.  And I wanted to BE that.

So, even though it took me around 8 years after those sweet visits to Temple Square in SLC, UT to return to church attendance… even though it took me that long to return to Christ overtly… I had found Him in those sweet Sister Missionaries on Temple Square.

Whenever I meet a woman in the Church who inspires me or who I aspire to be like, I feel compelled to ask them if they served a mission.  Whenever I meet a woman who seems to radiate Charity, I question without even considering: “Were you a missionary?”  And ya know what?  I cannot think of an exception, there may have been one, but I cannot remember it.  As I recall, every woman I can remember admiring or desiring to emulate has, indeed, served as a missionary.

Though we cannot change our past and I am mostly happy with who I am (my past is part of that so I have to accept it), there is a small part of me that wishes I would’ve been courageous enough to stick to the restored Gospel of Christ and served a mission.  There is a humungous part of me that wonders what and how I would be (and my life with it) different if I had been the woman our Father surely desired me to be: Faithful.

A potentially positive result of these almost wishes and musings, I desire very much for my girls, my daughters, to become like those sweet Sister Missionaries who worked at Temple Square.  Heck… maybe one or more of them will be such a missionary!  Wouldn’t that be something!?  It sure would do my heart some wonderful good.  But to be missionaries...  THAT is the most important aspect of one of my greatest goals for my daughters; all of my children.

Will I think them a failure if they do not serve a mission?  Certainly not.  If they grow up to know that their life is a mission that should be dedicated unto the Lord… then I will have accomplished something marvelous in them, for the world and, most importantly, for Heavenly Father!

Five Things For Friday

1



Let's see... this week was pretty quiet.  I did experience a marked improvement in my experience of milking Tulip.  Tulip is the last doe we added to our "tiny farm" just nine days ago.  She had a kid on her, so she's in milk.  YEAY!  You would've laughed till you cried if you'd've seen me milk her the first few times!  Seriously.  No stanchion is a serious hold-up, yall!!

 

2

My Mom will be here in less than a week for Tea's fourth birthday.  The fourths are big deals around here (4, 8, 12, 16).  Those are the birthdays that we celebrate with family PLUS friends (whomever the child wants to invite, within reason.  It should be exciting!  Thankfully, the whole not-really-having-big-birthday-parties-every-year-thing has it's side benefits.  Like, for instance, when my children are given the opportunity to tell me all their hopes and dreams for their birthday party, they are actually (almost all) really reasonable and doable!  :) 

 

3

 I made my first batch of goat's milk soap (today, actually).  It didn't turn out as well as I was hoping.  Must try again ASAP since I'm SERIOUSLY hoping to use the soap as end of the year gifts to my family!  We've never been able to give gifts all around because we simply cannot afford it... but there is the possibility this year and I SO hope it works out.  If not this year, I'm definitely shooting for something canned, some honey and some soap to give next year.  Of course, it may not be the end of the year, which would be just great, too.  :)

 

4

 I have a friend.  We've known each other for around two years now.  She is amazing!  We've been spending a bit more time together recently and I've come to love her very much.  The last time we were able to spend time together, as I was leaving, I felt this surge of love for her and almost told her I loved her.  I stopped myself, though, because I didn't want to freak her out.  Well, today, when I was getting together to depart she told me she loved me!  I felt super happy - especially in light of the way I feel Heavenly Father has been telling me He loves me through people this week.  They haven't said those words, particularly, but He's been SHOWING me... well, this dear friend of mine was someone I wanted to be friends with before I received my assignment from Heavenly Father TO BE friends with her... I sure am thankful!!!

 

5

 I gave two guys haircuts this week.  It's so funny when we buzz Jmy... the girls all say some version of, "Oh, look how much he looks like JJ!!"  I think Jmy does look a little like JJ, but mostly, I think JJ is the primary young boy in our extended family upon whom the girls can compare and reflect (they haven't been around his younger brother as much).  Anyway... fun/funny stuff.  :)

 



Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful for my children; both those who are here and those I hope will yet join our family.

Tricky Tuesday #3

Here are some pictures of the almost complete pallet fence Jess has been building.  One gate is made from a salvaged gate I bought for $5 at a local fence place that sells salvages fence panels.  SUCH a great deal (with hardware, too!).  The other gate is almost complete.  It's missing its chicken wire top.  They'll probably open seperately, which I rather like.  :)

Do you see Kiara, our goat, resting in the old chicken tractor?

This picture shows the gate we already had that Jessie installed so well.

The new chicken coop/goat shed is WAY in the back left of this picture, too!

 

 

She's visible here, too... to the left of the picture.

This picture shows the use of a couple pallets that are both vertical.  Nice, right!?

 

 

I know this might look like a mish mash to some,

but to me it is beautiful!  I'd love to paint it, but we'll probably leave it be.

 

This is the end of the longest part of the fence,

which is parallel to our house.

 

 

This is looking at the shorter section,

which is perpendicular to our house and

almost meets it at the corner.

 

 

Here's the pallet gate Jessie created.

Dang, I shoulda taken a close picture of the hinge.

He used some hinged hasps without the looped part

to make the hinge for this door.  Great, right!!?

 

 

Here is the pallet gate closed.

This is the only unfinished part of the fence.

Above the pallet fence there will be a

hinged frame of chicken wire.

We would rather keep out goats and chickens,

thank you very much.  ;)

 

 

A view of the gate and into the yard.

 

 

You might've noticed that my gardens are a bit... overgrown.  Well, my friends, that's what happens when a hard worker like me is laid low.  The unwellness of my body after the miscarriage took a long time to heal.  Thankfully it's all healed up now.  Just have to straighten things out a bit more IN the house and then I'll be able to spend more time out of the house again.  Unfortunately, I haven't gotten a fall/winter garden in and it's looking less and less likely.  :(  ahwell

 

Jess did finish the half gate, I just haven't made time to take a picture yet... will do.



Meditation Monday #13

Meditation continues daily.  It has been more difficult to continue because I have been vociferously attacked with such phrases as, "If you think meditating is doing you any good, you're in fantasy land."  or, "Meditating is just a waste of time.  It's obviously not doing you any good."  The first such attack came merely moments after I experienced a major breakthrough.  Amazing.

Today is day 142 of meditating.

Sunday: Preach It

I'm going to try to post something each Sunday that pertains to "preaching" truth - or aspects of the truth.  This first one is a bit lame.  But it matters to me.  And since this is my blog... well, you can skip it if you prefer.  :)

At the first session of the General Conference for my Church on Saturday of this past weekend, there was a rather historic change announced.  It's exciting and wonderful and I immediately knew that the change was inspired of our Heavenly Father.

In my experience, when I happen upon or experience something exciting, I want to talk to others who may feel similarly about it.  I want to talk about the implications... how the new thing/experience will alter the future and impact me and others like me.  This is true of all aspects of my world from homeschooling, to Motherhood, to my religious practices, and so forth.  I also believe humans need to communicate to enable the process of synthesis more fully.

While I immediately felt the surety of heaven's guidance in the announcement of new, younger, ages that men and women could potentially serve missions, I also very much wanted to communicate with others about it.  Not because I doubted the validity of the Revelation the world's Prophet, his counselors and the 12 Apostles had received, but simply to process through the exciting change more fully.

I was excited and happy to see so many folks posting about it on Facebook (since I really do not enjoy phone conversation and don't live all that near anyone in real life with whom I might discuss this subject at length).  I was especially happy to see the line of comments posted as a result of one particular friend's posting of another person's tweet.  Almost all of the feedback to that post was really wonderful.  It was just the kind of communication that reveals thinking people sythesizing new information into their current paradigm.  This is necessary and good.  Laudable.  Beneficial.  God desires His people to be a thinking people.

One person, however, posted some comments that astonished me.  This particular commentor has become somewhat of a "nemesis" to me.  I refer to her as my nemesis mostly in jest.  Jessie counseled me to unfriend numerous folks from my former Ward (church group) when "my nemesis" and a couple others were commenting in reaction to my Facebook postings in ways that reveal they do not know me or understand how I communicate at all.  Their comments were arguementative and even, a few times, inappropriately condemning because they did not understand my tone and had interpreted my words incorrectly.  I have had this problem all too frequently in the recent past.  And not just among those who don't really (and couldn't really) know me since they never took the time when they had the chance and I just don't roll with the high rollers (meaning I don't "do lunch" with the women of the Ward for lack of funds and desire).  Anyway... I refrained from commenting on the wall of the facebook friend to whom my "nemesis" had commented because I am simply done with being targeted and beat up by her.  (Hereafter I will leave off the quotation marks around nemesis because I hope you get the point that she really is NOT my nemesis... just someone with opinions very different from mine who does not understand me at all.)

Even though I did not comment on my fb friend's wall, I wanted to respond to my nemesis in a non-confrontational way.  I'm relatively certain she doesn't read my blog.  And anyway... I get to do what I want here.  And I don't have to deal with her being nasty to me in response.

After much discussion of implications and reactions to the Revelation about the new ages  for missionary service (none of which was condemnatory or negative at all... just sythesis-type communication, really), my nemesis questionsed why everyone was trying to disect revelation given by a Prophet of God.  She asked if it was just too difficult to say we believe in revelation.

A couple of people responded to her, including my fb friend who originally started the line of discussion.  They responded totally appropriately.  Additional comments were made.  Yet, my nemesis didn't get it.  She didn't comprehend that no one on that line of discussion was trying to pick the revelation apart or doubting the reality of revelation.  They were simply thinking through and synthesizing new information.

She then posted, "Stated twice and repeated as an answer, 'His is God hastening His work. This is not about the youth.'"  I'm sure this comment was one made in the press conference immediately following the session of the announcement.  Regardless of who made the comment, I think it is limiting and short-sighted.  You see, God acts for all who are affected.  When evil is perpetuated against someone, God's sight is set on the perpetrator AND the person acted against.  Not one or the other.  God has in mind that his youth will be prepared more diligently by their parents and the Church to potentially serve Him as missionaries AS WELL AS to hasten the missionary work itself.  Surely anyone with eyes that see can see this.  Right?

She then posted a longer piece to which I desire to respond as if I were speaking to her, yet am not.

"As a convert of over 40 years, a Primary president, a Young Woman's president twice, a Relief Society President, and a Seminary teacher of many years, Elesha there is a vast difference in someone asking questions and someone immediately trying to place a defining statement as to 'why a revelation was received are very different. One example, in the late 60's early 70's here in the USA the word of wisdom started to be defined as a caffine issue, while at the same time in Brazil it was that hot drinks were the offenders since the Portuguese often drink drinks at such a high temperature burned the mouth tissues so much it became like leather. Both discussions omitted simple obedience as the why. The Word of wisdom is one of the issues you speak of, if it had been placed as a commandment when given most of the brethern would have been on the outside looking in. They needed time for simple obedience, which is where you will find the word of wisdom in most indexes. Also in the 70's when the blacks received the priesthood, the issue was the church coming around to the world. Asking questions is good, but no one has posted questions. These are comments and opinions. Seek the guidance of the brethren and if you don't agree with their verbage pray to either adjust your will to be in aligh with the Lord. It is dangerous to be giving reasons for a Prophet's revelation."

I find it interesting and upsetting, nemesis, that you would list the offices of your service to God as if these works that should have been consecrated to the Lord make you some sort of authority in His Kingdom.  If your words cannot stand on their own strength, the fact that you try to bolster them with you resume of Church service is only sad and prideful.  Given that I know you rejected the opportunity to be a temple worker with your husband because you'd "already done that" and told whomever was offering you the calling that you needed to do something different... well, the potentially impressive list of callings is drastically diminished in my esteem.  I wish you could know that rolling out your resume decreases your stature with every "star" you attach to the list.

It's not just questions that are good.  Thinking is also good and highly esteemed by our Father in Heaven.  He is pleased with obedience for obedience sake, I am absolutely certain.  But how much more pleased with us would He be when we are obedient and know WHY we choose to be obedient... Perhaps He is especially pleased when we step out in obedience even though we may step away from our own position to BE obedient.  I imagine that our Father in Heaven and His Angels rejoice when we work to change our own heart TO BE obedient by BEING obedient.  Stepping off a cliff, as it were, not knowing how we will be all right, but knowing that He has commanded it.

How is it dangerous to synthesize new information into your current paradigm?  This simply doesn't make sense!

Another commentor responded beautifully to this part of my nemesis's silliness.  I quote him, "People need to understand why - it is the basis of mental reasoning, and in our case, encourages faithful support through personal revelation and group discussion. I don't like following things from the "Because I said so" mentality. Never have, and I am glad my Heavenly Father understands that about me. So, he provides me reasoning through my own pursuit and his perfect revelations to my heart. There really is nothing wrong with having a desire to explain in logic what is revealed in Spirit - both are a part of us as a human soul."

I know in my own experience, as I attempt to fit something that is God's into my own mind and life (especially when it is in opposition to how I have been), it has helped me greatly to give myself reasons to do it or endure in it.  Are the reasons always Gods?  I don't know.  I don't think they are against His ways.  I think they are lower than the highest of His thoughts, but how does one climb a ladder but by starting on the first rung?

Finally, my fb friend who originally started the discussion responded to my nemesis and I conclude this post by quoting a few of her words, "I believe God wants us to have our own opinions and thoughts and be flexible and teachable by the Spirit. I have found that the Spirit usually teaches me only when I’m mentally engaging in particular content. If I don’t think about something, I get nothing. Respectfully, it looks like you saw a dangerous situation when only good things were happening."

Well said.

Saturday Soliloquy #5

Part 5 and Final: Australia

One of the purchases I made before I left Perth was a didgeridoo.  It was the most expensive decorative item I’d ever bought for myself to that point… and still to this point, too.  Unfortunately, much of the actual (not just sentimental) value of it was removed when the tag snapped off during the packing process when we moved from Virginia to Florida.  It was a result of having the Elder’s Quorum help us move.  But how can I be mad about that?  I mean, I was mad.  But I had to let it go because they helped us so much.  I mean, I don’t think we could’ve loaded the moving truck in time to actually move if it wasn’t for their work for us.  And we didn’t have to pay for their time and effort.

I also bought some other omiage… what are they in English.  Oh, yeah, souvenirs.  I bought Jessie a really nice boomerang (mostly decorative) and a bullroar/outback telephone/bush phone (also very decorative).  I bought t-shirts and ash trays (because they looked cool).  I bought less expensive boomerangs and other less expensive souvenirs.  It was pretty fun to make those purchases, but also expensive.

For my trip TO Perth, I traveled the southern edge of the island continent.  For my return to Sydney, I would travel the northern edge of the continent.  I wanted, very much, to go to Uluru, but because I didn’t have enough time to travel there and get to Sydney in enough time, I had to nix that plan.  The funny and rather odd thing is that normally Uluru is a big red mound-type hill.  The year I was there, it was covered in grass because there had been so much more rain there than normal.  So, instead of a red mound, it was a green one!  I didn’t get to see it with my own eyes, but there were many people who shared this interesting bit of information with me and anyone else they could talk to about it.  It was that strange!

My first stop after leaving Perth was Monkey Mia.  It’s a tourist destination with a dolphin that visits the shore each morning.  When I went, the dolphin had a calf.  I didn’t get to see either up close, but I did see them.  It was neat to see a dolphin in real life and in the wild, for the most part.  I think the only time I’d seen a dolphin before was when I went to an aquarium… I think that was in Australia, too, but I can’t remember for sure.

Monkey Mia also had lots of pelicans.  I hadn’t seen a pelican in real life before, so that was pretty cool, too.  The one very uncool thing about that little vacation was that I was foolish and got a horrible sunburn.  It hurt for days and days and made riding a hot bus very uncomfortable!

From there I went to Broome, Western Australia, I think.  I’m pretty sure I stayed in a hostel there because of the timing of buses, but maybe I only changed buses.  The next place I know I stayed in a hostel was Darwin, Northern Territory.  The bus pulled in quite late in the evening and then I had to catch the next bus early in the morning, so I literally only spent the night there.  I don’t even remember what the city looked like – except, I think, that’s the city I felt like I was back in the USA because it just seemed like a city in the States.  Since I had traveled by bus in the USA before, I actually had a direct experiential comparison.

Still, I wanted to investigate the town.  I didn’t get to, though, of course.  On to the next stop.  Brisbane, Queensland was nice.  If I remember correctly, I remember feeling like that city was very similar to what I’d heard about and seen (pictures and movies) of some southern cities in Florida.  Since I live in Florida now (2012), I can tell you I think I was spot on.  Of course, I think the comparison would be even more accurate of Brisbane to Miami or something like that, but still.  It’s pretty similar.  Palm trees, pastel colored buildings, very open and spread out… that kind of thing.

Newcastle, New South Wales, was a stop, I think, at which I had to change buses.  I’m not absolutely sure about that, though.

I do know, for sure, that I returned to Sydney!  J  I also returned to the hostel I first stayed in because it was just that cool.  It was the Sydney Central Hostel on Pitt Street.  I think it would be super neat to return there with my family.  I’m sure I would have a much more enjoyable time with my children and husband than I did alone!  I liked it, but it wasn’t super enjoyable because I felt so very lonely for someone(s) with whom to share the experience(s).  I guess that’s why I remember those girls who befriended me in Adelaide and Katrin Henn so well.  I wish I could remember my Adelaide girls’ names.  ahwell

There was a big market in Sydney that I enjoyed perusing and visited twice, I think.  The whole area was very neat.  There were so many places for shopping… they were all close together and all too easy to meander from one area to another.  I’m pretty sure that it was on this trip to Sydney that I made the trek out to see the Sydney Opera House.  What a very neat structure!  I mean, I knew that from pictures, but seeing it in person was definitely worth the walking time and effort to get there and back to my hostel!

I remember the hostel in Sydney being a great place.  It was clean and orderly.  The staff was young, so they were distracted, but they were kind.  I think it was at the Sydney hostel that there was a locker room area where you could pay to keep your bags secure until you could get into your rooming area (and keep extra bags even when you were in your room).  I had to pay extra, but it felt good to know they would be safe in their little locker (or, at least, I believed they would be safe).

My return to the USA was, as I recall, uneventful.  The airports were still under tighter security than ever before or since, I think, so that was stressful.  But I didn’t have any problems with flights being super late or missing a connection or having to sleep in the airport (which I did have to do on my return to surprise Jessie back in October).  Oh, I just remembered something about that.  There was one point at which during the whole process of trying to get back to Virginia that I sort of met another family trying to get back to the same area because their son was set to graduate from some military school or another.  We were basically in the same boat.  I don’t remember why, but I ended up almost driving with them to another place to catch another flight, I think… but I felt absolutely sick about it (after we were already on the road), so I had them bring me back to the airport.  It was at that point, I think, that I ended up sleeping in the airport.  It was absolutely nuts!

I was definitely glad to be back in the USA.  I felt very different, though.  Reverse culture shock, upon returning to the States from Japan was rough.  The reverse culture shock really was not so much a problem this time around, but I was still coping poorly with the after effects of the destruction of September 11^th.  I felt like I was horribly altered… changed in a way I felt like everyone should notice… yet it seemed no one really did.

It’s only been very recently that I realized a part of me died as a result of that False Flag.  The part of me that died was not a terribly good part, necessarily… but it was the lighter, easier going, more fun loving part of who I had been.  I became much more serious and goal oriented after my experiences surrounding that September than I’d ever been.  I also became angrier, I think… angrier because I felt this constant looming sort of unsafe feeling.  I still feel it.  I’ve just gotten used to how it feels… and, more importantly, I feel God’s Peace and His lifting power.  I guess, it would be more accurate for me to say that I know the sense of impending danger is constantly sort of looming, but the burden of it is not upon me the way it was back then.  Our Heavenly Father has that kind of authority… to relieve us of burdens in ways that may seem small to the understanding of men, but which are truly miraculous!  Anyway…

I guess that’s all for the story/stories of my time in Australia.  I hope you’ve enjoyed it.  I think I’ll move along to… or move back in time… to my trip to Japan.  My time in Japan and Australia are the two stories Ria asks me to tell most frequently… those two and my wedding and birth stories.  So, that’s what I’m planning to write.  Next Japan, then probably I’ll consolidate some pre-published (on my blog) stories about meeting Jessie and getting married, then share or re-share birth stories for each of my children in Saturday Soliloquy.  Probably, I’ll share whole stories all at once in the future… we’ll see.

Five Things For Friday

1

Even though we had to be out and about in the evening, on Monday, my kiddos accomplished most of their tasks AND school today.  Usually school is done, but other bits left undone... it's nice when it comes together better. (Monday, October 1)

2

I learned something this week that is a pretty big deal to me.  Unfortunately, it's not something I'm comfortable talking about at this point.  (Week of Friday, October 5)

3



 We've had our goats for two weeks now.  We love them and having them!  Kat is especially bonded to the baby who is now almost 3 weeks old!



4

 General Conference was wonderful.  Did you see it?  Do you want to?  It was really awesome.  I highly recommend it!

5

 Kat turned six this week!  She was super excited that we got to do our second October Temple trip on her birthday!  We sure do love going to the temple.  :)



Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful for my Kitty Kat.  She is amazing.  She is really tough, thoughtful, smart, self-motivated (often, but not always), loving, and just wonderful.  (Of course there are difficulties, but she IS wonderful!)

I'm thankful for good, even exciting, news.  My Mom will come to visit for Tea's 4th birthday!  Yippee!

I'm thankful for my life... with all that is part of it.

Tricky Tuesday #2

Pallet Trick #2

Use pallets as the foundational structure for a dual purpose structure.  Goat shed on the bottom and chicken coop on top.  Doors on opposite sides for less confusion and more seperation.

When it is complete, I will share a picture so you can REALLY see what I'm talking about.  It's AWESOME!  My design, Jessie's execution!  ^_^  We're a good team, me thinks.  :)

Meditation Monday #13

Doesn't this picture 

(found at http://drbillwooten.com/2011/06/26/a-quiet-mind/)

embody "quiet mind"?



Meditation continues daily.  I've even been more successful at doing it at a routine time, for the most part.  Lately I've had some difficulties, but throughout I've felt greater peace.  I feel more quiet in my mind.  This is a huge blessing and big change for me.  I'm very glad.

Today is day 135 of meditating.  I'm pleased and somewhat amazed that I've been able to continue so long.  This is one thing I do for me.

Not every time, but often, Jmy will check on me as I'm beginning.  He'll leave after a while.  When he hears my closing song, he often returns and waits until I'm fully done.  Then he'll come up for hugs and smiles.  Sometimes he comes when I'm in Kirtan Kriya and sits quietly in my lap.  He just sits with me.  Other times, admittedly, he has done some rather pestering type things, but more often than not he either watched quietly or sits with me.  He is a super sweet little guy!

Saturday Soliloquy #4

Part 4: Australia

Do you know I actually felt responsible for the attacks of that day?  I did.  I felt like I should’ve been able to warn someone.  I should’ve been able to help or something.  I believe now, that I was doing exactly what needed to be done and that all good that has come of the evil that was done is exactly the best it could’ve been.  I’m grateful to believe that I may have been able to help.  I’m especially glad that my help (if I was of any help) was completely unnoticed.

I went to school and spent time with my friends a little bit.  Mostly, though, I spent time alone.  I felt unable to benefit anyone else, so I didn’t want to bring them down.  My friends Josefine and Keefe interrupted my lonesomeness many times.  Felicia did as well.  I’m still very grateful for their kindness and care!

The missionary dinners still happened every Sunday.  Those were great times.  It became rather burdensome (financially, especially) after a few weeks because the guest list kept growing!  After a while, I finally asked my friends if they could help by cleaning up afterward.  I think I eventually may have asked for others to bring some food to share, but I can’t remember about that for sure.  I know I asked them to help clean up, though.  I enjoyed preparing the food and eating it with them, but having to clean up by myself (or with only Felicia) was a major bummer.

October was the month, I think, that Jessie returned from his deployment.  I returned to the USA to surprise him.  He was definitely surprised!

Before I went back to the States, I made sure to purchase a camera Jessie’d told me about that he wished he had again.  It was a Nikkon film camera, I think.  I no longer remember how much I spent on that, but I spent a lot.  I also purchased some special lenses for it.  We still have it.  Don’t really use it, but we do have it.  He was very happy to receive it.

The return to the USA was rough.  There were problems with flights connecting and the security was ridiculously altered… it was definitely tougher and to the extreme.  All bags were searched thoroughly… it was super time consuming and really stressful.  One of the funny things that happened as a result of the tighter security is when a guy had to go through my bags.  He was getting in to the camera bag.  Well, I had packed it full of panties and bras because I wanted to keep the camera and lenses safe, but I didn’t have any other small bits of anything to stuff in there to keep it safe.  Well, that poor guy was so flustered.

I finally did get back to the States and my brother Josh and his new wife picked me up from the airport.  Apparently Caroline didn’t (and still doesn’t) remember meeting me the first time we met before I went to Australia.  Crazy, right?

Well, I might not remember meeting her, either, except that I had an experience that made the meeting stick in my head.  When I met her Evelyn was angry with me.  My sister was sitting on the couch with Caroline and Josh, so I didn’t want to go over there because I didn’t want to cause a kerfluffle with Evelyn.  Instead, I stood near the front door.  I remember standing sort of in the corner at one point, a little bit behind a floor to ceiling lamp my parents have/had near there.  When I was introduced to Caroline, I learned that she was from a family of six children, too.  When I learned that her family had two boy and four girls (opposite Josh’s and mine), I thought that was really neat/interesting.  The part I had a difficult time dealing with at the time is that immediately after I learned that information about her, I heard, in my mind, “He will marry her and they will have six children.  Two girls and four boys.”

Please remember, because it is important to understanding my feelings about such an experience, that I was not attending church at all at the time.  In fact, although I believed in God again by then, I did not necessarily believe in all the other stuff I was taught as I grew up.  So, when I heard, in my mind, this information about my brother, I felt like I was going absolutely nuts!  I even remember looking around and trying to figure out if anyone else heard it – even though I knew I didn’t hear it in my ears.

Thus far, Josh and Caroline have one girl and two boys.  Unless they make some radical changes, I’m pretty sure they will not have any more children because my brother, Josh, got himself snipped (commonly referred to in our society as being “fixed,” which is revolting to me since, in fact, someone who does such a thing is actually purposefully breaking the equipment the Lord Himself installed!... but I digress).  They felt and still feel, for all I know, that they did not (do not) want to have any more children.  That's totally fine, of course.

Now I’m going back to the main story.

I had reserved a room for Jess and me in a nice hotel in downtown Norfolk.  We stayed there for a day or two.  It was fun and nice.  We went out and walk around the downtown area and had a meal around there, I think.  Mostly we just spent time together.

Because of the trauma of my experiences, I was really happy to be back and seriously wanted to just stay and not go back to Australia.  It would’ve messed up my education a bit, but I didn’t care.  I just wanted to stay with Jessie and get back to school in the next semester.  Jess talked me in to going back to finish up the semester and my travel plans in Australia.  I’m glad he did and that I listened and did finish up that goal.

The return flight to Australia was not nearly as bad as getting back to the USA.  I remember having a difficult time getting back to campus.  I think I took a Taxi, which was rather strange because the driver wanted me to sit in the passenger seat not the back seat and I thought that was odd.

So I finished the semester.  It went fine.  I cannot remember any problems or anything that went particularly poorly.

My final return flight to the States would depart from Sydney.  The bus pass I’d purchased allowed me to travel as much as I wanted, but I couldn’t back track unless there was no other option.  Setting up my trip back to Sydney was a little bit stressful because I had a certain amount of time to travel and I had to work my needs into the scheduled bus travel times.  I managed it, but barely.

Thankful Thursday

I'm thankful for the blessing of increase on our tiny lil' farm.  It's a lot more work to have our goats, but so satisfying.  I'm endlessly grateful for the ability God has given us to realize the goals He set on our hearts.

I'm thankful for the hard work Jess has been doing for our place.  He has been steadily building on an almost daily basis for the last couple/few weeks.  He's almost finished with my goat shed/chicken coop, which he stopped work on only because I asked him to after we had Kiara in the back yard because a fence needed work.  So, he's been working on it and it is looking SO good!  One of the most awesome things about it is that he has sources materials (free wood)... so the only thing we may have to buy are screws if he determines that the nails we have are not sufficient.  Awesome, right!!?  I hope to post a picture of his project upon completion so you can admire his work in building AND sourcing!  ^_^  I, for one, am THRILLED!

I'm thankful that Jessie woke up super early one day and drove a long way to pick up 3 enormouse sliding glass doors that I hope we'll be able to use for winter garden beds and/or a green house....  we'll see what we think/feel we need most.  :)  Exciting, right!!?

Tricky Tuesday #1

I've been thinking about starting a new weekly posting about "tricks" or tips for saving money around the house, garden, garage, farm... as the case may be.  I'm calling it "Tricky Tuesday" because it can be so super tricky to save money when building things up... whether it be the garden, decorating (HA... I don't do much of this), structures necessary for farm animals, or whatever.  I don't know that I have enough tips for every week, but I'm going to share what I think is valuable from my own experience... or what I desire to try out.  Mostly, though, I'm going to stick to what I've tried.  :)

For an introduction into this realm:

Jessie has been building a REALLY solid fence to seperate our chicken and goats (and hopefully, eventually, our rabbits) from the rest of the garden area.  He found a place locally that has lots of discard wood that they are super glad for others to break down and haul off.  They only require that you wear eye protection while you work there.  So, Jessie has scored tons of pallets and other wood.  He's using the pallets to build the lower portion of our fence!  He's hanging chicken wire (we purchased, but already had it on hand) across the top to prevent goats leaping the low wooden portion of the fence.  So far Kiara hasn't tried to get through, even though part of the fence is only chicken wire (and from the ground to four feet high).  We have been blessed that she has remained!  Thankfully Jessie is making is difficult for her to choose otherwise.

So, one way to use pallets as a trick to reduce expense.  :)

Meditation Monday #12

Meditation continues daily.  I've added a new 3 minute meditation... well, it can be up to (and only up to) 3 minutes long.  It's a meditation for releasing anger.

Lately I'll do my tune-in, then meditation for releasing anger (2-3 minutes), kirtan kriya (usually 7 minutes, but sometimes more), conquering anger meditation (I was up at 6 minutes, but I'm back down to 3 right now), calm heart meditation (3 or more), meditation for healing addictions, and finish with a tune-out song.

Today is day 128 of meditating and day 89 since the addition of the conquering anger meditation and day 4 since adding the releasing anger meditation.  I think I'm only going to track the number of days meditating from here on out....  We'll see.  :)