On Obedience

This post has been a few weeks in the making.  Probably longer, really... but a few weeks ago i read a post on the blog of a woman in my Ward (church group).  There are many things i greatly admire about this particular woman, i am glad, as with almost all the women in my church, to call her Sister.  She has some very different perspectives and political positions from me, but, for the most part, i really respect her.

Unfortunately, my respect did diminish slightly when i read the post about which i'm thinking and have been pondering.  My concern is for her, a little... mostly, though, i feel greater concern for/that any youth in our Ward or the Church at large may find her blog, admire her, read this particular post and then make wrong and detrimentally life changing choices as a result of her and their admiration of her and potential acceptance of her ideas (particularly the one about which i'm thinking and preparing to write about now).

My blog is not popular or well visited, for the most part, so i'm relatively certain that she does not read here, but if she does (you do), please forgive any offense.  Truly, my intention is not to offend or pass judgement or be mean or anything like that.  My hope is to correct in love - but not necessarily the Sister (you?) who wrote the blog, but more specifically: the ideas presented therein.  It seems unlikely that anyone who reads her (your) blog would also read mine, but i rather hope that if there are any youth that read hers, they will also stumble upon this particular post.

The topic of this post is rated R movies.

This is the topic my Sister addressed in her blog.  It saddens me to say that i almost desperately disagree with the dangerous position she presented, which is, basically, that she's smart enough to ignore our Leaders' direction, suggestion, warning... that we should NOT watch rated R movies.  This direction is not age specific.  I do believe the warning pertains to all members of the LDS Church.

One thing i know is that the R rating currently is much worse than it was years ago.  When the Leaders of my Church began to warn against viewing movies of this rating, the contents were bad enough, but as our society descends ever farther and faster into thinking and practicing evil ways as a matter of course, the rating goes right along with it.  Today, PG-13 is comparable to the rated R of years ago.

Confession.  I am ashamed to say that i went against a decision i made when i began to attend church again to avoid rated R movies and watched one a few months ago.  Another confession: while away from the Church, i was exposed to pornography.  These two confessions come together because there was nothing soft about a particularly graphic scene that was also pornographic in the rated R movie i watched.  My regret over having this particular scene now in my mind with all the other crud i have there available for replay at completely inappropriate times, is tremendous.  The movie was neat... but to me, at this time in my life and Spiritual progression, it is and was not worth the price i pay.

Perhaps the Sister whose blog i keep referencing doesn't have such a brain as mine.  A brain that has such issues with images and recall (especially the random remembrances).  But i believe there will be someone who does who is or will be influenced to do what will harm them by her position, which is put and argued eloquently (as is basically all of her writing).   Perhaps watching the movie to which i refer would not be a trouble or a harm to this particular Sister... but that doesn't mean the choice to watch it is right.  Disregard of direction is still a form of disobedience, isn't it?

Bad stuff is still bad stuff regardless of how the world may esteem it.  My position and arguement is not cool.  It's not popular.  It's not pleasing unto the eyes and minds of men.  But i truly believe it is what the Lord would prefer for us.  He has our VERY best interests at heart.  He wants only the best for us.  If we ingest poison - whether into our body or mind - it will harm us eventually.

While watching the rated-R movie i confessed about above, i was very uncomfortable sitting alone during the pornographic scene. Given my recent history and experiences, i would have probably violently turned the movie off and run away crying if i'd watched it with my husband. As it is, it sickens me to know he saw it at another time.  If my Savior had been visible to me, sitting next to me as i watched that movie, i would have been VERY uncomfortable to watch the pornographic scene.  Who am i kidding?  i would've never turned it on if he was visibly next to me!  (Thus my guilt over my wrong choice.)  The most important of these discomforts is how i would feel watching it with Jesus Christ, of course.  I should not have done it.  Knowing this (and i really knew it before i watched), i yearn to "preach it" to others... that YOU may avoid the guilt and necessary repentance and that you may completely avoid the potential replays you'd not prefer to have in your head.

Please be wise!

As Elder Sorensen said in 'You Can't Pet a Rattlesnake' back in a April 2001 General Conference address, "Don’t allow the poison to touch your souls, brethren. Remember, “He that is righteous is favored of God."  Those words, 'brethren' and 'he,' by the way, are as readily applicable to women as men.  It's universal in the context of the talk even though he was speaking to men... it's not just for the Brothers of the church and/or world.

i pray you will receive this in the Spirit in which i have written it.  Love.

Chick-Fil-A

I am grateful for those companies who do the difficult thing.  When I worked for Chick-Fil-A... oh, a couple decades ago, one of my bosses (not the owner) kept trying to push the owner to open on Sundays because of all the potential business he/they missed by being closed.  I was and am thankful, both the owner (back then) and the company (now) stuck/stick to their convictions.

This determination to abide the Law of God (to keep the Sabbath day Holy unto the Lord) does not indicate any hatred in those who keep it of those who choose to do otherwise.  It does not mean that those who choose to keep this commandment think they are better than those who do not.  Yes, I do realize there are those who are sanctimonious and prideful among Christians.  There even are many of such folks who believe they are good Christians.  I believe they really are trying to be.  I definitely realize this about Christians as I was among the "camp" of "Christian."  I used to feel great pride in my righteousness.  I was sure I was better than ___ because they ____ed.  Was.

I still struggle with all kinds of sin, my friend.  Don't get me wrong.  WAS does not refer to my sinfulness.  I still struggle in WAY more ways than I like.  But when the idea to judge comes to my mind, I immediately think of my own sin and KNOW I cannot walk any farther down that mental road (judgement).  I know that whatever I think I know of the other person and their "sin" is only an infinitismally small portion of their whole story!  And in my perspective on existence, it's even smaller than what most people would think because I believe we have a story that stretches back before we were born into our tabernacle of clay... and then some!!!!

Our Father in Heaven has changed me (and continues to change me!) by teaching me my own failings.  He has shown me and daily shows me my sin.  And though I am still a sinner, I praise God daily that He has seen fit to make me better than I used to be and continues to make improvements in me.  Please do not confuse this with pride in myself.  I know it's not about me.  It's about what God can and does do with and in me.  I know the only good in and about me is what is because of Christ.

Given my own life and the changes God has brought about in me and continues to make in and about me, I know that not all Christians are sanctimonious or think they are better than others just because they may be Zealous for Christ.  Zeal does not automatically mean those who feel it think they are better than anyone else.  I promise.  Most people who know me would consider me zealous for Christ, but if they know me to any degree or depth, they would also tell you that while I recognize my worth as a soul is great to God, I don't think I'm any more than anyone else.  In fact, I know I am not.  Because I am almost daily learning more completely the truth that we are all the same and always different.  But we're the SAME!! 

Zeal also does not mean that those who are zealous automatically hate any group of people who choose overt sinful behavior over striving to live in accordance to God's Laws.  Cause let's face it, we're ALL sin... we just sin differently.  And some sinners are actively trying to, through the merits of Christ, overcome the sin that doth so easily beset them (us... I hope I'm part of that group).

For me, as I feel zealous for Christ, I feel love for everyone!  I cannot fathom hatred.  Unfortunately, I do decend into moments in which I can fathom it.  But that's because I'm imperfect like the rest of everyone.  Isn't that comforting?  Not a one of us is perfect!  YEAY!  Back to my point... in my zeal for Christ, I desire to accept those I meet (and REALLY try with those I know) right where they are... and love them where they are.  I strive to, because of my zeal, express love and demonstrate it by acceptance, compassion, and service.  I am not perefect in this effort.  God knows.  But He also knows I really am striving and working and hoping I can accept Him ever more fully to BE like Christ in these ways and more.

Recognition of sin does not mean the person who recognizes it is judging the person who commits it.  Judgement implies sentencing said "sinner" (whether literally or in the "judge's" own mind) to the reward of their choices, which we know, of course, none of us mere mortals can or will ever be able to do... nor, should we desire to have such authority.  But I digress.

It's just that I've just been thinking quite a lot today about homosexuality, marriage, businesses, and so forth.  These thoughts arise as a result of Facebook postings all about the announcement that Chick-Fil-A does not support equal marriage for homosexuals.  I am grateful for Chick-Fil-A's courage in coming forth.  They risk and will surely experience the loss of much business due to this declaration.

One thing I find so very disturbing and disheartening is the way that those who disagree with this position communicate about their disagreement.  No, not all of the pro-Marriage Equality ("me") folks are unkind.  Of course not ALL are.  But I feel a great deal of hostility in comments from these folks.  Yes, there is hostility in some of the Chick-Fil-A supporters (supporters of God instituted marriage).  But I truly feel the majority of the hostility from the pro-"me" folks.  I read more accusations of hate and anger from them.  They accuse those like me of bigotry, of refusing others their Civil Rights, or hating homosexuals, of homophobia... I could go on with the accusations they make against me and people like me.

How is it that declaring my position (or a business doing so) automatically makes them homophobic?  How is it that stating my beliefs in support of God instituted marriage automatically makes me a hater of homosexuals?  And since when is getting married a Civil Right?  Is it?  I mean, if it was, shouldn't that mean that I don't have to pay to do it?  Maybe that's naive.  Well, I never said I was world-wise.

The thing is, I do not hate anyone I can think of right now.  I could.  I'm sure, by many people's standards, I have plenty of reasons to hate any number of people.  But I don't.  Because I've learned a principle that is true across the board: hate hurts me more than anyone else.  Why harbor it and allow myself to feel it?  I don't want to hurt anyone else either... but I'm certainly tired of and done with hurting myself (most of the time, at least).  Honestly, the one and only person I struggle with truly hating is... tori... that's me, folks.  And that's the God's honest truth.

Now, I do realize that there are those among humans who strive to live as Christians who do feel homophobia, who do dislike to the point of hatred those who practice that lifestyle, and who are bigots.  But there are those like me, who really only state our own beliefs and hope that the Laws of the land are not altered in such a way that our freedom to practice our religion is impinged upon...  and this is called being a bigot?  I'm sorry, but I just don't buy it.

I'm not saying that homosexuals cannot live as they choose.  I'm not saying they cannot live together.  I even think there could be (even should be) some legal way for their unions to be recognized.  And, really, isn't that more reasonable anyway?  I mean, being together as homosexuals is not the same as being together as heterosexuals.  It's just not the same thing as marriage between a man and a woman(the kind that has been since forever).  Wouldn't it be more reasonable for homosexual unions to be called something different because they ARE something different?  But this is not acceptable to the homosexual community.  And why not?  I honestly don't understand why.

Just because I state my beliefs and stand by the Word of God and strive to uphold His Will and Ways does not mean I lack compassion for those who live differently than me.  It does not mean that I am intolerant of their creed, belief or opinion.  A bigot is intolerant of those things.  Just because I want the institution of marriage preserved does not mean I desire to force my perspective on another.  In fact, I think it's more reasonable that homosexual unions have a different name with legal protections in place, like marriage... but the different name for the different practice.  You see?  I definitely don't hate any homosexuals... as I mentioned before, the only person I struggle with feelings of hatred toward is me.

To tell you a little more about what I think... since this is, afterall, my blog... ^_^  I truly believe that 99.9% of homosexuals are born that way.  I actually have some theories about why God would allow such a trial (especially in the world in which we live) to overshadow those who have homosexual tendancies from birth.

We all know, if we know the Bible even only a little, that the difficulties in our lives are our crosses - and to follow Christ we must pick up our cross.  For if we try to follow Him without it, He will never accept us.  And anyone (especially if you are straight) who would argue that they bring it on themselves by choosing to live the way they live... well, in a way you're right.  But they didn't choose to BE gay or lesbian or anything similarly difficult.

I'm sure I could go on... but I won't.  "And that's what I have to say about that."

Additional reading:
One way someone has written about CFA declaration to support God Instituted Marriage.
Have you heard of Club Unicorn?  If not, you simply must find out about it on THIS blog.