Perhaps it's overgeneralizing. Perhaps it is not true for everyone... but as a rule it seems to be a true principle: we become what we hate, despise, resent, etc. If we have supercharges negative feelings toward or about something/someone, we either already are (perhaps to a much smaller degree) OR become what we dislike. Do you see this truth in your life? In observation?
I see it in me!
I used to hate things about some very close to me. I used to hate the laziness I observed. I hated that there was always time for TV or a movie (or multiple movies), but never time to spend actually BEing with others... or DOing the things that needed to be done. The explanation for incomplete tasks: "I don't have time." And, in a way, this explanation is always correct. We do NOT have time for all the important things AND all the completely UNimportant things. I could see, from my outside observer's POV, that the time available was simply being spent in worthless/fruitless/selfish ways.
Just for the record, I am NOT talking about just one person right now. I am thinking about a number of qualities in a number of different people I know really very well - as far as knowing others goes. And aren't those the people I should be most Charitable toward? And I don't mean the kind of charity the world refers to! I mean Charity... The Pure Love of Christ, which pure Love includes unconditional forgiveness. I have been commanded, in a personal commandment just to me, to forgive unconditionally, and I still struggle to obey with certain people (those closEST to me)! :-(
The point? I hated those quality characteristics. And I am only beginning to realize the extent to which I hated myself... and/OR BECAME those things I hated.
It seems to me an inextricable sort of thing... like a black hole kind of deal. The only power that can free us from the power of a black hole is the power of God. For even though the scientists don't know this yet (haven't proven it through mathematical equations), even the darkness of a black hole must flee at the Light and Power of Our God, for He is Master of even those!
My Love still needs to grow. My Charity must be dug deeper. I know it. Yet the me of today, compared to the me of 4... 5... 6 years ago... I'm ever more and more leaving behind the hater and becoming a true Lover. And what LIGHT! I mean, LIGHT in every sense of the word.... I feel brighter. Not as in intelligence... though I do feel that as a result of other things... but brighter as in full of actual Light. I feel ever more and more relieved of burdens as I forgive myself for being what I used to hate and forgive others for being less than I know they could be... isn't that what it boils down to? We hate (feel extreme emotion to the negative) because we see in others what we don't like about ourselves... Or, see in others a way that we know they could be better than they are and we hate the bad of ourself or the shortcoming because we KNOW they could be SO much BETTER!
I have so much more to improve. I totally know it. But as I reflect on the distance I've come, I wonder: WHY did I ever sink so low as to hating??? How did I not KNOW that I was hurting me most of all?? Oh, I heard that. But I just didn't KNOW! I forgive me. I hope YOU will forgive me!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thankful Thursday; Week of September 9-14, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011: I'm thankful for diligent daughters who worked hard today, without complaint (mostly) to do what they are supposed to do daily. AND some of it was even done without request, reminder, or promptings from moi! YEAY! I love my girls! I'm thankful for a sweet 2, almost 3 year old, who desires SO much to learn like her big sisters and who pleads with me to do reading classes with her (when she sees me do them with Kat). They are my treasures... after God, of course. I'm grateful for the enjoyable YBB I was able to do from start to finish even though Jimmy woke up. He fussed because he couldn't get out of his seat for a minute, but once out, he entertained himself wonderfully and only fussed that little bit when he needed help out of his seat! Another treasure! I'm grateful for the fever Ria has/had tonight which helped me feel greater compassion for some friends whose kiddos are ill. I'm grateful for the peace I feel in knowing God's Got It.
Friday, September 9, 2011: I'm thankful for my Mom. Today is/was her birthday! She's 20 years older than me and I think she's been my best friend forever. She tells me that I hated her at one time because I wanted to marry my Dad and was mad that I couldn't because she did... but I think that must have surely been when I was 5 or something! ;) My Mom... she is amazing. She is smart, though underestimates her intelligence far too often. She doesn't think critically about things as often as she could, but she is SMART in the MOST important way: she knows when the Lord is speaking to her and she abides His direction without question and more quickly than many (me!) I know. My Mom is the best and most important example in my life of how to live as she felt/believed the Lord would have her live. I'm so thankful for her Spiritual strength, her dedication to Truth, her determination to stick through seriously tough times, things, and experiences (from childhood on up!). I'm thankful for her grace, her sweetness, her service... she is simply amazing! Mom, I'm still trying to be like YOU!
I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend working out with Denise Austin workout video. Jimmy was wonderful again. He slept all the way through and only woke up for a few moments a couple times and watched the TV and then fell back to sleep in his swing chair. I'm also thankful for the continued illness Ria is battling. I'm grateful for the continuation of this trial because it is giving me more time to practice being loving and compassionate toward her. I need practice with that sometimes... and especially when she's ill because I have a tendancy to stress overmuch over illness and make things worse by being that way. Father God is having me work on this weakness right now and I am thankful!
Saturday, September 10, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to work with a wonderful family to clean our church building! I'm grateful for Stake Conference. The kiddos and I went to the Adult's Session and spent time together in the Primary Room so that I could listen to the speakers in the Chapel. I'm grateful that my kiddos love me so well! I believe they know that what feeds my Spirit will result in good for them, which makes it easier for them to do what they may rather not do. I'm grateful for the continued feelings of inspiration and motivation to do what I need to do to get into better shape cardiovascularly and to shed the baggage, generally, but specifically and especially that which cumbers the "outside" of my body! (I DO know that my internal organs have too much fat in them since my body does... but it's definitely most visible on the outside!) I enjoyed another Yoga workout today. I think Yoga is my preferred workout currently. This time I tried a video I've had for a while, but haven't done much. I did it and enjoyed it, but not as well as my preferred Yoga video. However, I know the variety is good for me. :)
Sunday, September 11, 2011: I'm thankful for Stake Conference. I went with just Jimmy because Jessie has had headaches this week and all three girls have had a bit of a cold-type thing. I figured he wouldn't get much out of it... (he'd fall asleep), so I went and really enjoyed it! I'm thankful for a day of rest from workouts and other word that I'm pressed to do during the week. I do enjoy (and even sometimes love) the workouts, I'm glad for the day of rest.
I'm thankful for all the people who helped me 10 years ago. 9-11-01 was a rough day for me... night actually, since I was in Australia. But my Mom, Jessie, Keefe, Josefine, Feli, Meijke, and a couple others were SUCH loving support to me. THANK YOU!!
Monday, September 12, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet and restful day at home. I'm thankful for thegood running use of the mower. It wasn't working a couple days last week, so I couldn't finish the backyard cut job I wanted to work on. It's still not finished, but the part closest to the house (at least in back!) is done. That was about a 2 hour job... and only half of it was left after last time! It was seriously tall, though, which is why it took so long. Now... I know, you might think tall is, maybe, up to your shins... but this stuff was up to my thighs and hips. I'm 5'4". Seriously tall! Good workout. I'm thankful for the desire to do Yoga, too. I'm grateful to my Jimmy for sleeping right through the whole thing... even though he did wake up a couple times to check on me. ^_^ Oh, and I've "lost" 6 pounds now. YEAY! I'm so thankful for Heavenly deadlines! :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011: I'm thankful for my brother Ben. He's the 5th child in our family (I'm the oldest) and he was, as I remember, one of the funniest kids! He was a pleasure and he loved us so very much! I remember that he would repeatedly do silly things (that probably hurt him) BECAUSE he knew that what he was doing was causing our laughter and he wanted us to be happy more and more. He's still a sweet guy in that way... he wants to help others be happy if and when he can. He's no longer a totally cute chubby little toddler. *sigh* He is, however, a huge handsome hunk of a fella with a gorgeous wife and two amazingly beautiful little girls and a big, smart step-son. I'm grateful that he is my brother and that he loves all of us so much - even still... after all that we put him through as a kid! ^_^
I'm thankful Jimmy slept through my Project YOU workout tonight. What a sweet SWEET lil' guy!
I'm grateful for the learning Path the Lord is leading me on. I'm grateful for the amazing fount of pure knowledge, understanding, and Peace I feel as I traverse this Path. I'm grateful for my sweet girls' work with me on our driveway. It's a gravel thing, ya know, and covered with grass. We began the gigantic task of removing the green from the gravel. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend working on the dirt in our garden. I'm hopeful that seeds will be down before the end of the week! I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend exercising. My Jimmy seems to know that I need this time and, when he sees that I'm exercising, either entertains himself happily, or falls back asleep. What a joy!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011: I'm SO thankful for the time Jessie took away from work to take our family to the Temple in Orlando. It was a really wonderful morning! I feel like going to the Temple* is the absolute BEST way for me to recharge... it does the job SO completely and well! I'm especially thankful for the wonderful fun I heard my kiddos had with their Daddy...how Jimmy was so GOOD and the Golly Gang had such a great time in my absence during which time I was doing work for someone who cannot do it for herself. Today's Temple work time was especially neat for me because I've been feeling really strongly, when I pray, to ask for the Gift of Tongues and the Gift of Interpretation of Tongues. Now, I know this is unlikely to do much without effort on my part. However, with the ICES work, gardening, lawn maintainance, in addition to the regular extra things and regular things I have been doing, I haven't made much time to do much Spanish study (which is the first language I feel pressed to become proficient with... French being second). So... what does this have to do with my Temple work time? Well, today, in the session I was blessed to attend, there was a native Spanish speaker going through the Endowment for the first time! What does that mean? I didn't know until today that when this is the case, the whole session is done in the language of the 'first-timer'! ^_^ The English speakers had to wear the headsets the temple provides to hear English, should they do desire. I thought I would do that. But I sent up a quick prayer asking if I should (since I did feel some hesitation), while I was waiting for someone to bring one to me. The answer was a distinct, "No." I was a bit surprised, but then, as I pondered on it, I was impressed with any MANY reasons why the Lord would put me in such a situation. And what a BLESSING! It was a REALLY good experience! Also, this was my first time to get to do an endowment since Jimmy was born. 6 months ago. And I still remembered the important stuff word for word! WHAT A JOY!!!! I'm just so happy today!!! I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that the Lord has re-established the fullness of His Gospel in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I know the Temples built by The Church of Jeuss Christ of Latter-Day Saints are truly houses of The Lord. This truly is a Gospel full of MANY good words, good works, hope, faith and Love!
I'm thankful for what seems to becoming a routine for Jimmy... he slept through my Susan Powter long workout tonight. He did wake up to look around, which usually results in crying if I'm not the one holding him. But he saw the TV going with me moving nearby and fell right back to sleep. I have the feeling his angels are working nearby when I set him down with the intent to workout! Praise the Lord for his Tender Mercies!!
Friday, September 9, 2011: I'm thankful for my Mom. Today is/was her birthday! She's 20 years older than me and I think she's been my best friend forever. She tells me that I hated her at one time because I wanted to marry my Dad and was mad that I couldn't because she did... but I think that must have surely been when I was 5 or something! ;) My Mom... she is amazing. She is smart, though underestimates her intelligence far too often. She doesn't think critically about things as often as she could, but she is SMART in the MOST important way: she knows when the Lord is speaking to her and she abides His direction without question and more quickly than many (me!) I know. My Mom is the best and most important example in my life of how to live as she felt/believed the Lord would have her live. I'm so thankful for her Spiritual strength, her dedication to Truth, her determination to stick through seriously tough times, things, and experiences (from childhood on up!). I'm thankful for her grace, her sweetness, her service... she is simply amazing! Mom, I'm still trying to be like YOU!
I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend working out with Denise Austin workout video. Jimmy was wonderful again. He slept all the way through and only woke up for a few moments a couple times and watched the TV and then fell back to sleep in his swing chair. I'm also thankful for the continued illness Ria is battling. I'm grateful for the continuation of this trial because it is giving me more time to practice being loving and compassionate toward her. I need practice with that sometimes... and especially when she's ill because I have a tendancy to stress overmuch over illness and make things worse by being that way. Father God is having me work on this weakness right now and I am thankful!
Saturday, September 10, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to work with a wonderful family to clean our church building! I'm grateful for Stake Conference. The kiddos and I went to the Adult's Session and spent time together in the Primary Room so that I could listen to the speakers in the Chapel. I'm grateful that my kiddos love me so well! I believe they know that what feeds my Spirit will result in good for them, which makes it easier for them to do what they may rather not do. I'm grateful for the continued feelings of inspiration and motivation to do what I need to do to get into better shape cardiovascularly and to shed the baggage, generally, but specifically and especially that which cumbers the "outside" of my body! (I DO know that my internal organs have too much fat in them since my body does... but it's definitely most visible on the outside!) I enjoyed another Yoga workout today. I think Yoga is my preferred workout currently. This time I tried a video I've had for a while, but haven't done much. I did it and enjoyed it, but not as well as my preferred Yoga video. However, I know the variety is good for me. :)
Sunday, September 11, 2011: I'm thankful for Stake Conference. I went with just Jimmy because Jessie has had headaches this week and all three girls have had a bit of a cold-type thing. I figured he wouldn't get much out of it... (he'd fall asleep), so I went and really enjoyed it! I'm thankful for a day of rest from workouts and other word that I'm pressed to do during the week. I do enjoy (and even sometimes love) the workouts, I'm glad for the day of rest.
I'm thankful for all the people who helped me 10 years ago. 9-11-01 was a rough day for me... night actually, since I was in Australia. But my Mom, Jessie, Keefe, Josefine, Feli, Meijke, and a couple others were SUCH loving support to me. THANK YOU!!
Monday, September 12, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet and restful day at home. I'm thankful for thegood running use of the mower. It wasn't working a couple days last week, so I couldn't finish the backyard cut job I wanted to work on. It's still not finished, but the part closest to the house (at least in back!) is done. That was about a 2 hour job... and only half of it was left after last time! It was seriously tall, though, which is why it took so long. Now... I know, you might think tall is, maybe, up to your shins... but this stuff was up to my thighs and hips. I'm 5'4". Seriously tall! Good workout. I'm thankful for the desire to do Yoga, too. I'm grateful to my Jimmy for sleeping right through the whole thing... even though he did wake up a couple times to check on me. ^_^ Oh, and I've "lost" 6 pounds now. YEAY! I'm so thankful for Heavenly deadlines! :)
Tuesday, September 13, 2011: I'm thankful for my brother Ben. He's the 5th child in our family (I'm the oldest) and he was, as I remember, one of the funniest kids! He was a pleasure and he loved us so very much! I remember that he would repeatedly do silly things (that probably hurt him) BECAUSE he knew that what he was doing was causing our laughter and he wanted us to be happy more and more. He's still a sweet guy in that way... he wants to help others be happy if and when he can. He's no longer a totally cute chubby little toddler. *sigh* He is, however, a huge handsome hunk of a fella with a gorgeous wife and two amazingly beautiful little girls and a big, smart step-son. I'm grateful that he is my brother and that he loves all of us so much - even still... after all that we put him through as a kid! ^_^
I'm thankful Jimmy slept through my Project YOU workout tonight. What a sweet SWEET lil' guy!
I'm grateful for the learning Path the Lord is leading me on. I'm grateful for the amazing fount of pure knowledge, understanding, and Peace I feel as I traverse this Path. I'm grateful for my sweet girls' work with me on our driveway. It's a gravel thing, ya know, and covered with grass. We began the gigantic task of removing the green from the gravel. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend working on the dirt in our garden. I'm hopeful that seeds will be down before the end of the week! I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend exercising. My Jimmy seems to know that I need this time and, when he sees that I'm exercising, either entertains himself happily, or falls back asleep. What a joy!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011: I'm SO thankful for the time Jessie took away from work to take our family to the Temple in Orlando. It was a really wonderful morning! I feel like going to the Temple* is the absolute BEST way for me to recharge... it does the job SO completely and well! I'm especially thankful for the wonderful fun I heard my kiddos had with their Daddy...how Jimmy was so GOOD and the Golly Gang had such a great time in my absence during which time I was doing work for someone who cannot do it for herself. Today's Temple work time was especially neat for me because I've been feeling really strongly, when I pray, to ask for the Gift of Tongues and the Gift of Interpretation of Tongues. Now, I know this is unlikely to do much without effort on my part. However, with the ICES work, gardening, lawn maintainance, in addition to the regular extra things and regular things I have been doing, I haven't made much time to do much Spanish study (which is the first language I feel pressed to become proficient with... French being second). So... what does this have to do with my Temple work time? Well, today, in the session I was blessed to attend, there was a native Spanish speaker going through the Endowment for the first time! What does that mean? I didn't know until today that when this is the case, the whole session is done in the language of the 'first-timer'! ^_^ The English speakers had to wear the headsets the temple provides to hear English, should they do desire. I thought I would do that. But I sent up a quick prayer asking if I should (since I did feel some hesitation), while I was waiting for someone to bring one to me. The answer was a distinct, "No." I was a bit surprised, but then, as I pondered on it, I was impressed with any MANY reasons why the Lord would put me in such a situation. And what a BLESSING! It was a REALLY good experience! Also, this was my first time to get to do an endowment since Jimmy was born. 6 months ago. And I still remembered the important stuff word for word! WHAT A JOY!!!! I'm just so happy today!!! I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that the Lord has re-established the fullness of His Gospel in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I know the Temples built by The Church of Jeuss Christ of Latter-Day Saints are truly houses of The Lord. This truly is a Gospel full of MANY good words, good works, hope, faith and Love!
I'm thankful for what seems to becoming a routine for Jimmy... he slept through my Susan Powter long workout tonight. He did wake up to look around, which usually results in crying if I'm not the one holding him. But he saw the TV going with me moving nearby and fell right back to sleep. I have the feeling his angels are working nearby when I set him down with the intent to workout! Praise the Lord for his Tender Mercies!!
Friday, September 9, 2011
Ruled By Hatred
I used to be, ya know. I used to be ruled by hatred. Did you know that? Could you tell? Try reading a post from 2008. Could you tell that I was full of hatred?
Well, I reviewed some posts from back then and I couldn't find one that really revealed much of that part of my heart. "In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrows that the eye can't see..." That's a line from 'Because I Have Been Given Much,' which in our Hymnal is song 219 (because of copyright that song is not avaiable to listen to via the music portion of http://lds.org/). It's a lovely song! I think that was the first one we memorized in the beginning of doring devotionals last October. I guess, even though I was significantly louder a person back then, I kept my hard heart deeply hidden and very quiet.
So, since it's not terribly visible or apparent... do you want to know what I hated? To give myself some credit, I think I was already making SOME good progress in regard to this subject by 2008... but from my point of view now, I can see myself so much more clearly and I see how I was still strugling with hatred heavy in my heart.
Since this post is, initially, about being ruled by hatred, I'm gunna tell ya what I hated! First of all, I hated just about everyone and anyone. Not in an all-consuming rolling-boil sort of way... but in a simmering sort of way. I was, in truth, waiting to take offense to just about everything. In October of 2006 I listened to General Conference. Along with anyone else who listened to that Conference, I heard a particular talk by Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twleve Apostles entitled: 'And Nothing Shall Offend Them' . That talk began the process of a tremendous change of heart in me, of which I enjoy many fruits today. I still have much progress to make, but I'm becoming a new woman and, in many ways, AM a new woman already. I continue to try to change daily, of course. I feel like the big changes in me... in my effort to be New, began as a result of this talk. I feel it has truly played a pivotal role in my life.
Why did I hate everyone and anyone? Well... because, at the bottom of all the reasons I could tell you #1 I didn't like me... I didn't LOVE me... in fact, I probably truly hated me! #2 I was full of pride (an unwillingness to forgive pains inflicted by others is prideful). My unwillingness to change and become as Christ is, is a clear indicator of the Pride I had. Pride has many MANY guises! It is the root of all evil, afterall.
Hatred, like all the other tools of the deceiver (fear, envy, pride, anger, etc), binds the one feeling the emotion he has inspired. Initially the bonds are as flaxen cords. But over time the flaxen cords, because there are so many, bind as surely as the heaviest chains. They can become as a cocoon around a developing butterfly... but in this analogy, the bonds of the deceivers tools do not enable metamorphosis into something beautiful as a butterfly, but rather, starve the Soul and bring about eventual spiritual death of the kind that cannot be redeemed.
From within the binding (having been in hatred myself; and still struggling to cut some bonds of one of the evils I used to be consumed by, but still struggle with) it is nigh on impossible to see how to stop the cycle of what we're caught within. "I'm caught, this is a closed cocoon! There's no hope for me. Why bother?" These are thoughts I had and I felt the related feelings, too. But I'm not caught in hatred anymore. And if I can get out of the closed room (locked from outside), I guarantee you: Anyone Can!
How did I do it? The short answer: I did it in and through Christ Jesus and His Redemption brought about by His Atonement which He has already completed for each of us who will believe on His name: have Faith in Him, confess/repent, and be baptized!
Yes... that IS actually the short answer! ^_^
Want more details? If I were you, I would. Thus I share: I tried by praying for the ability to keep trying. That's how I started. And then I kept trying. :) I fell more times than I can count. But I kept getting up and kept praying for support to change.
The greatest leaps forward came when I focused more on myself... not the selfish kind of way that the World declares is important... the, "I need ME time!" kind of way.... But, rather, the kind of focus on "me" that the Lord prescribes. I spent time by myself (usually after everyone else was asleep) to be in prayer. I was guided to record my prayers. And I have to tell you, I LOVE those journals!!!!! It has been absolutely a blessing to me and my life that I followed the promptings to write down impressions, images, and eventually words and sentences that I perceived the Lord whisper to my mind and heart.... I have great hope that all, but especially my prayer journals will bless the lives of my progeny. God willing!
I've always told the Lord I love Him when I pray. But one time, after I'd been praying with my journal - writing what I said and writing what was said back to me... I felt unable to continue after I told Father God that I loved Him. And so, since I couldn't think of anything else to say, I waited in listening mode. The response was FULL of pure LOVE!!!! I realized, as I wrote down what the Lord would have me know about His Love for me that I'd never waited to hear what He had to say on this subject because I didn't think I was worthy of it. I didn't want to know that He Loved me because I didn't love me and so I thought, "How could HE!??" But that time I listened... and at the time that I listened, I was only in acceptance of myself. I did not actually LOVE me. I do now, though!!! If He does, how can I NOT?? Am I greater than He? Do I know more than He knows? No. Surely not. So I must love me!!
The same realization has come about the rest of my fellow brothers and sisters on this planet. HE Loves them the SAME way He loves me. And what... do I know more than He? Should I not love them as He Loves them? If He loves me... and I KNOW me and how unworthy of His love I am... then I must MUST must Love others!!! (and I feel this "must" in a joyous and rejoicing way!)
Another thing that has enabled me to come to peace and FEEL the Love of God for others (even those who hate me, hurt me, speak unkindly about me, etc) is the profound realization I experienced of the truths I've sung repeatedly throughout my life in 'I Am a Child of God'. I had a sacred experience in which I saw the truth of this principle... this song... the truth of God's Love... and as a result I know the truth. I know that I am a part of God, that you are, that we all are. And if I profess to Love HIM, I must... I just MUST love me and you and everyone else, too!
So, in my weakness, the Lord has made me strong. I was once ruled by hatred. Now I am filled with Love. I'm not perfect in this area (nor any area) yet, but I have Faith that I can become perfect in and through Christ Jesus. I know that I will not be perfect in all things and in all ways so long as I reside in this tabernacle of clay... BUT I can become perfect in small (yet large) principles like this one. I pray you may come to know and understand these things AND MORE! I pray that you may be filled with the knowledge of how the Lord our Father God and His Son Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer Love YOU! Amen.
Well, I reviewed some posts from back then and I couldn't find one that really revealed much of that part of my heart. "In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrows that the eye can't see..." That's a line from 'Because I Have Been Given Much,' which in our Hymnal is song 219 (because of copyright that song is not avaiable to listen to via the music portion of http://lds.org/). It's a lovely song! I think that was the first one we memorized in the beginning of doring devotionals last October. I guess, even though I was significantly louder a person back then, I kept my hard heart deeply hidden and very quiet.
So, since it's not terribly visible or apparent... do you want to know what I hated? To give myself some credit, I think I was already making SOME good progress in regard to this subject by 2008... but from my point of view now, I can see myself so much more clearly and I see how I was still strugling with hatred heavy in my heart.
Since this post is, initially, about being ruled by hatred, I'm gunna tell ya what I hated! First of all, I hated just about everyone and anyone. Not in an all-consuming rolling-boil sort of way... but in a simmering sort of way. I was, in truth, waiting to take offense to just about everything. In October of 2006 I listened to General Conference. Along with anyone else who listened to that Conference, I heard a particular talk by Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twleve Apostles entitled: 'And Nothing Shall Offend Them' . That talk began the process of a tremendous change of heart in me, of which I enjoy many fruits today. I still have much progress to make, but I'm becoming a new woman and, in many ways, AM a new woman already. I continue to try to change daily, of course. I feel like the big changes in me... in my effort to be New, began as a result of this talk. I feel it has truly played a pivotal role in my life.
Why did I hate everyone and anyone? Well... because, at the bottom of all the reasons I could tell you #1 I didn't like me... I didn't LOVE me... in fact, I probably truly hated me! #2 I was full of pride (an unwillingness to forgive pains inflicted by others is prideful). My unwillingness to change and become as Christ is, is a clear indicator of the Pride I had. Pride has many MANY guises! It is the root of all evil, afterall.
Hatred, like all the other tools of the deceiver (fear, envy, pride, anger, etc), binds the one feeling the emotion he has inspired. Initially the bonds are as flaxen cords. But over time the flaxen cords, because there are so many, bind as surely as the heaviest chains. They can become as a cocoon around a developing butterfly... but in this analogy, the bonds of the deceivers tools do not enable metamorphosis into something beautiful as a butterfly, but rather, starve the Soul and bring about eventual spiritual death of the kind that cannot be redeemed.
From within the binding (having been in hatred myself; and still struggling to cut some bonds of one of the evils I used to be consumed by, but still struggle with) it is nigh on impossible to see how to stop the cycle of what we're caught within. "I'm caught, this is a closed cocoon! There's no hope for me. Why bother?" These are thoughts I had and I felt the related feelings, too. But I'm not caught in hatred anymore. And if I can get out of the closed room (locked from outside), I guarantee you: Anyone Can!
How did I do it? The short answer: I did it in and through Christ Jesus and His Redemption brought about by His Atonement which He has already completed for each of us who will believe on His name: have Faith in Him, confess/repent, and be baptized!
Yes... that IS actually the short answer! ^_^
Want more details? If I were you, I would. Thus I share: I tried by praying for the ability to keep trying. That's how I started. And then I kept trying. :) I fell more times than I can count. But I kept getting up and kept praying for support to change.
The greatest leaps forward came when I focused more on myself... not the selfish kind of way that the World declares is important... the, "I need ME time!" kind of way.... But, rather, the kind of focus on "me" that the Lord prescribes. I spent time by myself (usually after everyone else was asleep) to be in prayer. I was guided to record my prayers. And I have to tell you, I LOVE those journals!!!!! It has been absolutely a blessing to me and my life that I followed the promptings to write down impressions, images, and eventually words and sentences that I perceived the Lord whisper to my mind and heart.... I have great hope that all, but especially my prayer journals will bless the lives of my progeny. God willing!
I've always told the Lord I love Him when I pray. But one time, after I'd been praying with my journal - writing what I said and writing what was said back to me... I felt unable to continue after I told Father God that I loved Him. And so, since I couldn't think of anything else to say, I waited in listening mode. The response was FULL of pure LOVE!!!! I realized, as I wrote down what the Lord would have me know about His Love for me that I'd never waited to hear what He had to say on this subject because I didn't think I was worthy of it. I didn't want to know that He Loved me because I didn't love me and so I thought, "How could HE!??" But that time I listened... and at the time that I listened, I was only in acceptance of myself. I did not actually LOVE me. I do now, though!!! If He does, how can I NOT?? Am I greater than He? Do I know more than He knows? No. Surely not. So I must love me!!
The same realization has come about the rest of my fellow brothers and sisters on this planet. HE Loves them the SAME way He loves me. And what... do I know more than He? Should I not love them as He Loves them? If He loves me... and I KNOW me and how unworthy of His love I am... then I must MUST must Love others!!! (and I feel this "must" in a joyous and rejoicing way!)
Another thing that has enabled me to come to peace and FEEL the Love of God for others (even those who hate me, hurt me, speak unkindly about me, etc) is the profound realization I experienced of the truths I've sung repeatedly throughout my life in 'I Am a Child of God'. I had a sacred experience in which I saw the truth of this principle... this song... the truth of God's Love... and as a result I know the truth. I know that I am a part of God, that you are, that we all are. And if I profess to Love HIM, I must... I just MUST love me and you and everyone else, too!
So, in my weakness, the Lord has made me strong. I was once ruled by hatred. Now I am filled with Love. I'm not perfect in this area (nor any area) yet, but I have Faith that I can become perfect in and through Christ Jesus. I know that I will not be perfect in all things and in all ways so long as I reside in this tabernacle of clay... BUT I can become perfect in small (yet large) principles like this one. I pray you may come to know and understand these things AND MORE! I pray that you may be filled with the knowledge of how the Lord our Father God and His Son Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer Love YOU! Amen.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Thankful Thursday; Week of September 1 - 7, 2011
Thursday, September 1, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home, during which I was able to accomplish much and write another 4 pages on my story. I'm grateful for my Ria and all the goodness she desires to be and do! I'm grateful for her efforts to help me with the laundry! I think it's beginning to "pay off," all that time I spent with her as toddler... letting her "do" laundry. Now, when she does it, it's actually helpful! ^_^ I'm also grateful for the continued feeling of being inspired to exercise. Worked out to Susan Powter tonight. Felt the workout from last night... GOOD tightnesses! ^_^
Friday, September 2, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home during which I was able to finally respond to a very interesting discussion on my religion that I'm having with a friend. We're around 20 or 21 email exchanges in now and that's been over the last almost three weeks, now, I think! So NEAT!! I'm sad that cardio dance class at church for today and tomorrow were cancelled, but thankful that I have lots of videos and whatnot to use at home. I'm so happy to feel so excited and hopeful about getting fit. It also helps that I feel a sort of heavenly deadline! Praise the Lord for His Heavenly Helps, Tender Mercies, and Great Gifts!!!! ^_^
Saturday, September 3, 2011: I'm thankful for another day at home!! I love being here and am grateful when it works out that I get to enjoy my children (sometimes said sarcastically) and get things done around here! Currently, as a result of our "many" days at home, I've been able to catch up washing laundry (though not necessarily the folding and putting away... Ria's been providing some service in that area... what a JOY!), keeping the floors swept, staying on top of the communications I need and some that I desire to do, AND exercising. I'm thankful for the wonderful workout Yoga provided today. LOVED it! I think that's going to be my preferred exercise for a bit... LOTS of sweating, not so much with the out-of-breath-ness. :)
Sunday, September 4, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Spirit present in the Fast and Testimony Meeting today at church. It felt wonderful! I felt and still feel SO happy! So many youth bore testimony today. It was a pleasure! :) I'm thankful for the opportunity to have the Missionaries over for dinner tonight. One of the two is my most favorite (yes, I know that's not good grammar) missionary in forever! And he's SO much like Jessie... hmmm... YES! OF COURSE!, that's why he's my favorite in forever... I'm sure of it! :) I'm also thankful for the calling extended to Jessie at church today and hopeful that he will accept it. Don't know HOW the Lord can work things to provide him (Jessie) time to DO anything with the calling... but God's ways are not [my] our ways! I'm sure He can and WILL... after the trial of Jessie's Faith... assuming Jess accepts the calling. I'm rootin for acceptance! :)
Monday, September 5, 2011: I'm thankful for good weather, which enabled me to work in and on the back yard. I'm slowly choppin down the forrest of grass we've been growing. I was rather hoping to get a goat or two back there to do it for me, but my hope has blown away... down to the nitty gritty... and with this sand it sure CAN be gritty work (mowing, I mean)!!! I was also able to work on one of my SFGs. ^_^ YEAY!!! I've felt like we've had SUCH a naked yard this last year... no food stuffs TRYing to grow and all. Now it's feeling better that I'm trying to get things goin'. :) (I perspired so much in the outside work, I gave myself a break from video workouts. Seems Jimmy's in a growth-spurt, for which I AM grateful, but it's disconcerting when the milk maker's don't feel like they're getting full! hehehe ^_^
Tuesday, Septemeber 6, 2011: I'm thankful for a smooth and enjoyable library trip. It was quite fast, which was fine sincemy head was poinding out an unsteady rhythm. ;) I continue to be amazed and full of gratitude for my funny little girls who love shopping so much that they are almost totally little angels when we go GROCERY shopping! It does feel good to receive compliments on their sweetness and good behavior!! Jimmy was happily hanging in his pouch in my sling. He's almost always happy there! ^_^
Wednesday, September 7, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home in which to get some things done that needed to be done. I'm grateful for Jimmy's sweetness, in the evening, which enabled me to do my Yoga video. What a pleasure to get through it even with him awake!
Friday, September 2, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home during which I was able to finally respond to a very interesting discussion on my religion that I'm having with a friend. We're around 20 or 21 email exchanges in now and that's been over the last almost three weeks, now, I think! So NEAT!! I'm sad that cardio dance class at church for today and tomorrow were cancelled, but thankful that I have lots of videos and whatnot to use at home. I'm so happy to feel so excited and hopeful about getting fit. It also helps that I feel a sort of heavenly deadline! Praise the Lord for His Heavenly Helps, Tender Mercies, and Great Gifts!!!! ^_^
Saturday, September 3, 2011: I'm thankful for another day at home!! I love being here and am grateful when it works out that I get to enjoy my children (sometimes said sarcastically) and get things done around here! Currently, as a result of our "many" days at home, I've been able to catch up washing laundry (though not necessarily the folding and putting away... Ria's been providing some service in that area... what a JOY!), keeping the floors swept, staying on top of the communications I need and some that I desire to do, AND exercising. I'm thankful for the wonderful workout Yoga provided today. LOVED it! I think that's going to be my preferred exercise for a bit... LOTS of sweating, not so much with the out-of-breath-ness. :)
Sunday, September 4, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Spirit present in the Fast and Testimony Meeting today at church. It felt wonderful! I felt and still feel SO happy! So many youth bore testimony today. It was a pleasure! :) I'm thankful for the opportunity to have the Missionaries over for dinner tonight. One of the two is my most favorite (yes, I know that's not good grammar) missionary in forever! And he's SO much like Jessie... hmmm... YES! OF COURSE!, that's why he's my favorite in forever... I'm sure of it! :) I'm also thankful for the calling extended to Jessie at church today and hopeful that he will accept it. Don't know HOW the Lord can work things to provide him (Jessie) time to DO anything with the calling... but God's ways are not [my] our ways! I'm sure He can and WILL... after the trial of Jessie's Faith... assuming Jess accepts the calling. I'm rootin for acceptance! :)
Monday, September 5, 2011: I'm thankful for good weather, which enabled me to work in and on the back yard. I'm slowly choppin down the forrest of grass we've been growing. I was rather hoping to get a goat or two back there to do it for me, but my hope has blown away... down to the nitty gritty... and with this sand it sure CAN be gritty work (mowing, I mean)!!! I was also able to work on one of my SFGs. ^_^ YEAY!!! I've felt like we've had SUCH a naked yard this last year... no food stuffs TRYing to grow and all. Now it's feeling better that I'm trying to get things goin'. :) (I perspired so much in the outside work, I gave myself a break from video workouts. Seems Jimmy's in a growth-spurt, for which I AM grateful, but it's disconcerting when the milk maker's don't feel like they're getting full! hehehe ^_^
Tuesday, Septemeber 6, 2011: I'm thankful for a smooth and enjoyable library trip. It was quite fast, which was fine sincemy head was poinding out an unsteady rhythm. ;) I continue to be amazed and full of gratitude for my funny little girls who love shopping so much that they are almost totally little angels when we go GROCERY shopping! It does feel good to receive compliments on their sweetness and good behavior!! Jimmy was happily hanging in his pouch in my sling. He's almost always happy there! ^_^
Wednesday, September 7, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home in which to get some things done that needed to be done. I'm grateful for Jimmy's sweetness, in the evening, which enabled me to do my Yoga video. What a pleasure to get through it even with him awake!
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Ria's Tooth
Ria is now almost exactly 7.5 years old. As of today, she has just lost her first tooth. She's been fiddlin' with it for almost two weeks now and has complained over how annoying and painful it's was. Just tonight she pretty much started crying over the pain and annoyance. I said to her, "I'm sorry, Ria. But you know, along with change come these kinds of feelings. We just need to accept the part we don't like, so we can enjoy the part we do like." She was very thoughtful over that, still fiddlin' with her tooth, when an expression of shock came over her face and she said, "Something just happened to my tooth!" and ran to the bathroom. It had just falled out! It was AWESOME! ^_^ I have pictures, of course, but currently no way to upload them. When I do, make sure to check Facebook! Who knows when that'll happen, though. *sigh* I'm grateful she's done with that tooth... now I'm wondering when the next one will come loose. She's got a whole bunch left to go!
The funniest thing about this whole process is how MUCH Kat and Tea WANT to have loose teeth, too! Kat has even been wiggling and tooth so much that it may just be loose! :( Well, I suppose it wouldn't be unheard of that she could lose a tooth so young since she got her first at 4.5 months, while Ria got her first at 13 months!
Tea, though.... OH DEAR! I'm trying to convince both Kat and Tea that they really need to just let their teeth alone. We'll see.
The funniest thing about this whole process is how MUCH Kat and Tea WANT to have loose teeth, too! Kat has even been wiggling and tooth so much that it may just be loose! :( Well, I suppose it wouldn't be unheard of that she could lose a tooth so young since she got her first at 4.5 months, while Ria got her first at 13 months!
Tea, though.... OH DEAR! I'm trying to convince both Kat and Tea that they really need to just let their teeth alone. We'll see.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Thankful Thursday, Week of August 25-31, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011: I'm thankful for the enjoyable day spent with my kiddos. We went to the library for a while. They love it when we get to stay for longer than the time it takes to pick out books. And I made a new friend! Good times. I'm grateful for the first class of Cardio Dance, which a friend of mine from church started to teach tonight! It was FUN and good exercise! The girls enjoyed it, too. Jimmy... not so much. Hopefully he'll be better with it next time. :) I'm also so happy that my Jessie's sister friended him on Facebook... I'm hopeful that he will accept the friend request (and urging him to do so). I'm so hopeful that his side of the family may begin to heal! So hopeful....
Friday, August 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the enjoyable day at home with my wonderful and trying children. It was a good day, though, overall. And I was able to write a bit when it was all said and done.
Saturday, August 27, 2011: I'm thankful for another Cardio Dance class. So enjoyable! The shared salad afterward was wonderful, too! It's so nice to laugh at myself as I "dance" and then get to enjoy good food (that's also good for us) and conversation when it's all done. :) I'm thankful ALSO exceedingly thankful that the tornado that hit around these parts did so just about 2 miles away... rather than nearer our home. The crazy wind and rain at precisely that time caused me some mild feelings of wonder and even slight panic. Praise God for His Tender Mercies in sparing me and my sweet children from having to endure that kind of thing without Jessie! I know what I'm supposed to do when the situation doesn't warrant a cool head (ie: there is no problem), but I worry about acting under pressure... *sigh* I'm sure the Lord will prepared me if the time will yet come for me to have to face such situations. He always has in the past. He is ever Faithful. I'm the one that has to work on that!!! :)
Sunday, Agusut 28, 2011: I'm thankful for the Sabbath Day and the rest I'm commanded to allow myself! I thoroughly enjoyed the talks at church today. And after church, while everyone else had quiet time, I spent some time painting... what a pleasure... except for Jimmy's fussies... but still wonderful. Then read the September New Era... all of the girls' half, anyway. Good stuff. Inspiring me to work harder with my girls! Love feeling uplifted and inspired to WORK! ^_^
Monday, August 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the inspiration my friend, Daysha, has provided. Daysha is the Cardio Dance class teacher and has shed 25 pounds by her efforts. I'm so inspired I've begun to work on my own as well as with the class. Today I was sweating with a manula weedwacker in my hands so I could wack down some of the back yard to a more mowable height. And if you think that's not exercise... well, my arms hurt like it was. And I sweat buckes, so I'm counting it! Plus, I did some MORE cleaning in the van. Cleaning so as to locate and eliminate the foul odour which has been tormenting me these past couple of weeks. It's a PROCESS, let me tell you. AND as a result: NO MORE EGGS IN THE VAN!!!!! Generally, I'm just feeling super determined to have a much enjoyable time in this tabernacle of clay... and the best way to ensure that is by regaining my fitness! THANK YOU Daysha for helping me kick off!!! :)
Tuesday, Agusut 30, 2011: I'm thankful for well-behaved children in two grocery stores today. I'm thankful that they love to shop so very much that any opportunity to do so is a joy for them! I'm also grateful for chances to write during quiet time and after the kiddos are in bed. This baby is getting bigger! ;)
Wednesday, Agusut 31, 2011: I'm thankful for the inspiration from my friend to actually begin to exercise again!! Monday: whackin' weeds manually and today worked out to Yoga Booty Ballet. Love it. Sweated much, too! :)
Friday, August 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the enjoyable day at home with my wonderful and trying children. It was a good day, though, overall. And I was able to write a bit when it was all said and done.
Saturday, August 27, 2011: I'm thankful for another Cardio Dance class. So enjoyable! The shared salad afterward was wonderful, too! It's so nice to laugh at myself as I "dance" and then get to enjoy good food (that's also good for us) and conversation when it's all done. :) I'm thankful ALSO exceedingly thankful that the tornado that hit around these parts did so just about 2 miles away... rather than nearer our home. The crazy wind and rain at precisely that time caused me some mild feelings of wonder and even slight panic. Praise God for His Tender Mercies in sparing me and my sweet children from having to endure that kind of thing without Jessie! I know what I'm supposed to do when the situation doesn't warrant a cool head (ie: there is no problem), but I worry about acting under pressure... *sigh* I'm sure the Lord will prepared me if the time will yet come for me to have to face such situations. He always has in the past. He is ever Faithful. I'm the one that has to work on that!!! :)
Sunday, Agusut 28, 2011: I'm thankful for the Sabbath Day and the rest I'm commanded to allow myself! I thoroughly enjoyed the talks at church today. And after church, while everyone else had quiet time, I spent some time painting... what a pleasure... except for Jimmy's fussies... but still wonderful. Then read the September New Era... all of the girls' half, anyway. Good stuff. Inspiring me to work harder with my girls! Love feeling uplifted and inspired to WORK! ^_^
Monday, August 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the inspiration my friend, Daysha, has provided. Daysha is the Cardio Dance class teacher and has shed 25 pounds by her efforts. I'm so inspired I've begun to work on my own as well as with the class. Today I was sweating with a manula weedwacker in my hands so I could wack down some of the back yard to a more mowable height. And if you think that's not exercise... well, my arms hurt like it was. And I sweat buckes, so I'm counting it! Plus, I did some MORE cleaning in the van. Cleaning so as to locate and eliminate the foul odour which has been tormenting me these past couple of weeks. It's a PROCESS, let me tell you. AND as a result: NO MORE EGGS IN THE VAN!!!!! Generally, I'm just feeling super determined to have a much enjoyable time in this tabernacle of clay... and the best way to ensure that is by regaining my fitness! THANK YOU Daysha for helping me kick off!!! :)
Tuesday, Agusut 30, 2011: I'm thankful for well-behaved children in two grocery stores today. I'm thankful that they love to shop so very much that any opportunity to do so is a joy for them! I'm also grateful for chances to write during quiet time and after the kiddos are in bed. This baby is getting bigger! ;)
Wednesday, Agusut 31, 2011: I'm thankful for the inspiration from my friend to actually begin to exercise again!! Monday: whackin' weeds manually and today worked out to Yoga Booty Ballet. Love it. Sweated much, too! :)
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Biodynamic, Deep Bed, Organic Farming
This page is just for me. This is the kind of "garden" I'm aiming toward. Long-term thinking here, of course. Ria recently said she wanted to buy 60 acres. Yep, I think we could do biodynamic farming with deep beds (and within biodynamic is the necessary assumption of organic production). Awesome!
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Sustainable-Farming/1986-03-01/The-Deep-Bed-Farming-Society-Breaking-New-Ground.aspx
http://www.sharingsustainablesolutions.org/biointensive-mini-agriculture/
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Real-Food/1981-03-01/Chinese-Raised-Gardens.aspx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMH_Hq2ZcuQ&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=PL0D4532ADEFFDB36D This, I believe is the way God, the Father, has intended us to have dominion over the earth. Not the way that all too many of the current systems/organizers/leaders do it.
http://www.frenchgardening.com/aupotager.html?pid=3130818325605936
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Sustainable-Farming/1986-03-01/The-Deep-Bed-Farming-Society-Breaking-New-Ground.aspx
http://www.sharingsustainablesolutions.org/biointensive-mini-agriculture/
http://www.motherearthnews.com/Real-Food/1981-03-01/Chinese-Raised-Gardens.aspx
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMH_Hq2ZcuQ&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=PL0D4532ADEFFDB36D This, I believe is the way God, the Father, has intended us to have dominion over the earth. Not the way that all too many of the current systems/organizers/leaders do it.
http://www.frenchgardening.com/aupotager.html?pid=3130818325605936
Friday, August 26, 2011
Christian
I am one... a Christian, I mean. My Faith is in Jesus Christ of Nazareth, born in Bethlahem, known as a Galilean, to Mary and Joseph. Joseph was his earthly Father, while Heavenly Father was and is the Father of His body as well as His Spirit. And so He, Jesus Christ, became God living as a human.
Jesus Christ is my Hope and my Light. He is my Life. As I keep Him in His rightful position in my life, even the heaviest burdens are bearable (because I am yoked with Him!). Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I know that without His Atonement, I could not have any meaningful Hope in or for the future. WITH and because of His Atonement, even the worst that could happen to me in this life will not truly hurt me, in the eternal scheme of things, because my Hope is in Christ and His saving GOODNESS, Grace, and acts (The Atonement).
I love the Gospel of Christ! It has brought all that is GOOD in my life to my knowledge and ability to feel. Christ is what is good about me and who is most important to me. Through His Gospel, I have come to acceptance of almost all things with which I previously struggled. I know the few things I have not yet come to accept are things I will shortly be in complete acceptance of because I am striving in Christ to truly be His. Beyond acceptance, I have come to Peace in and over many things with which I have struggled. And even beyond Peace, I have come to happiness and even joy concerning some (perhaps even many) things that I should feel happiness and joy in and about, but which I could not prior to making Jesus Christ BIG in my life and putting Him in His correct place in my heart, mind, and life/actions.
The Gospel of Christ, as taught in the Bible, is (in my understanding, knoweldge, and experience with God's Word via the Holy Spirit (wich constitutes my Faith)) magnified and expounded upon in The Book of Mormon. The Pearl of Great Price, Doctrine and Covenants, and Articles of Faith add additional Light to my understanding of Jesus Christ's Gospel. I'm so grateful our Heavenly Father has given us so much of His Word that we may grow in knowledge and understanding of Him and His ways that we might become ever more like our Savior and our Heavenly Father.
I bear my testimony that The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints contains within it the greatest amount of Truth and Light available through any of the religions practiced on the face of the earth today. I'm grateful that our Heavenly Father condescends to communicate to us via His Holy Spirit of truths which are necessary to our eternal salvation.
I bear this, my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Jesus Christ is my Hope and my Light. He is my Life. As I keep Him in His rightful position in my life, even the heaviest burdens are bearable (because I am yoked with Him!). Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I know that without His Atonement, I could not have any meaningful Hope in or for the future. WITH and because of His Atonement, even the worst that could happen to me in this life will not truly hurt me, in the eternal scheme of things, because my Hope is in Christ and His saving GOODNESS, Grace, and acts (The Atonement).
I love the Gospel of Christ! It has brought all that is GOOD in my life to my knowledge and ability to feel. Christ is what is good about me and who is most important to me. Through His Gospel, I have come to acceptance of almost all things with which I previously struggled. I know the few things I have not yet come to accept are things I will shortly be in complete acceptance of because I am striving in Christ to truly be His. Beyond acceptance, I have come to Peace in and over many things with which I have struggled. And even beyond Peace, I have come to happiness and even joy concerning some (perhaps even many) things that I should feel happiness and joy in and about, but which I could not prior to making Jesus Christ BIG in my life and putting Him in His correct place in my heart, mind, and life/actions.
The Gospel of Christ, as taught in the Bible, is (in my understanding, knoweldge, and experience with God's Word via the Holy Spirit (wich constitutes my Faith)) magnified and expounded upon in The Book of Mormon. The Pearl of Great Price, Doctrine and Covenants, and Articles of Faith add additional Light to my understanding of Jesus Christ's Gospel. I'm so grateful our Heavenly Father has given us so much of His Word that we may grow in knowledge and understanding of Him and His ways that we might become ever more like our Savior and our Heavenly Father.
I bear my testimony that The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints contains within it the greatest amount of Truth and Light available through any of the religions practiced on the face of the earth today. I'm grateful that our Heavenly Father condescends to communicate to us via His Holy Spirit of truths which are necessary to our eternal salvation.
I bear this, my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Thankful Thursday, Week of August 18 through 24, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011: I'm thankful for enjoyable busy days. We went to the library, received free kids meal cards for each of the girls, went to McDonald's, enjoyed a surprise visit with one of our sweet Sister Missionaries, and went to a lovely Eagle Scout Court of Honor. Exhausting, but wonderful, too. The girls were lovin' the GO of the day. (Not so much so for me with the love of GO, but glad they do!) Rather, I GO because I love! ;)
Friday, August 19, 2011: I'm thankful for opportunities to show my appreciation and love, even if only by going somewhere to support someone (sweet party Kenyon!).
Saturday, August 20, 2011: I'm thankful for my children's wonderful behavior at one of my Host Family's homes. We completed the orientations for the Host Families as well as the Exchange Students and it went very well (all things considered, especially!). What a gift and tender mercy of the Lord!
Sunday, August 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the Sabbath day and the physical rest it sometimes provides. And BOY! did I need it this time. Nap AND early to bed!
Monday, August 22, 2011: I'm thankful for a Monday at home to try to relax and rest in hopes of vanquishing the headache I've had for the last few days.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011: I'm thankful for a 5th day of headaches, which remind me how WONDERFUL it is to have been so very healthy for quite a long period of time!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011: I'm thankful for reduction in the pain in my head AND for the wonderful time had by all who participated in the 4-H meeting tonight. Heather, you are amazing!
Friday, August 19, 2011: I'm thankful for opportunities to show my appreciation and love, even if only by going somewhere to support someone (sweet party Kenyon!).
Saturday, August 20, 2011: I'm thankful for my children's wonderful behavior at one of my Host Family's homes. We completed the orientations for the Host Families as well as the Exchange Students and it went very well (all things considered, especially!). What a gift and tender mercy of the Lord!
Sunday, August 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the Sabbath day and the physical rest it sometimes provides. And BOY! did I need it this time. Nap AND early to bed!
Monday, August 22, 2011: I'm thankful for a Monday at home to try to relax and rest in hopes of vanquishing the headache I've had for the last few days.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011: I'm thankful for a 5th day of headaches, which remind me how WONDERFUL it is to have been so very healthy for quite a long period of time!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011: I'm thankful for reduction in the pain in my head AND for the wonderful time had by all who participated in the 4-H meeting tonight. Heather, you are amazing!
Monday, August 22, 2011
Day 3
Day three of the intense no-sugar fast, but actually day 8 total.
I think day three is always the hardest when trying to make changes. Why is that? I'm not sure. Haven't checked into it. But MAN! My head has been aching and pounding like crazy the past few days. Today it hasn't been as constant, but the moments of pain have been intense!
Why the pain? Well, last Monday we started a 40 day augar fast; as a family. The first 5 days, though, were kinda like what I'd been doing for myself already, except that I couldn't eat the hunny nut cherrios-type cereal we had and I couldn't make and eat anything with honey (like muffins, which I LOVE way too much!). But we could all still have all the fruit we wanted. Friday night was the end of that. Saturday was all right, but did have the headache.
Sunday was quite okay. Super tired and headache right behind my eyes. AND my eyes hurt, but I think that's just from being so flippin' tired!
Today has been the rockin day. The headache I've already mentioned. The fatigue... one would think that after having a nap on Sunday and going to sleep at 10pm I would have had enough sleep. But I suppose given the withdrawls from sugar that we're all going through at least a little bit... my body just wants to sleep and heal up.
Anyway... keep me in your prayers, if you think of it. And Jess, Ria, Kat, Tea, and Jimmy, too (Jimmy by way of breastmilk, of course). ^_^
I think day three is always the hardest when trying to make changes. Why is that? I'm not sure. Haven't checked into it. But MAN! My head has been aching and pounding like crazy the past few days. Today it hasn't been as constant, but the moments of pain have been intense!
Why the pain? Well, last Monday we started a 40 day augar fast; as a family. The first 5 days, though, were kinda like what I'd been doing for myself already, except that I couldn't eat the hunny nut cherrios-type cereal we had and I couldn't make and eat anything with honey (like muffins, which I LOVE way too much!). But we could all still have all the fruit we wanted. Friday night was the end of that. Saturday was all right, but did have the headache.
Sunday was quite okay. Super tired and headache right behind my eyes. AND my eyes hurt, but I think that's just from being so flippin' tired!
Today has been the rockin day. The headache I've already mentioned. The fatigue... one would think that after having a nap on Sunday and going to sleep at 10pm I would have had enough sleep. But I suppose given the withdrawls from sugar that we're all going through at least a little bit... my body just wants to sleep and heal up.
Anyway... keep me in your prayers, if you think of it. And Jess, Ria, Kat, Tea, and Jimmy, too (Jimmy by way of breastmilk, of course). ^_^
Friday, August 19, 2011
What I Used to Be
I used to be a show it all, all the time, kinda girl. Not physically in risque clothing, mind you. But emotionally. I used to "say it like it IS," or, in reality, like it was to me. My truth had to be said at the expense of all else. I had to say what I needed to say in and of myself.
This problematic behavior still troubles me, but not nearly as much as it did in the past. And when it creeps out, it's really more as a result of forgetting to guard my mind and tongue than with a feeling of "this opinion of mine, personally, must be shared, come hail or high water."
But, I think, the Lord has taken this personal weakness and turned it to His Glory and to support His purposes. I used to be unable (or unwilling, probably, is more the truth) to control my mouth in support of and profession of my thoughts, considerations and opinions. Now I feel compelled to NOT control my mouth in profession of God's precepts, principles and truths.
I used to be open with any and all about everything with which I was dealing and/or struggling. I would monopolize conversation time with my personal problems and frustrations. I still do this at times... mostly with my Mom and a very few select others. This is totally new to who I am and I like it, but it is also a difficult change to endure in because it is NOT natural to Tori. I still have a tendancy to monopolize with vocalization (talking) communication opportunities when I'm around other adults. But not because I feel selfish (which I know I did in the past), but, rather, because I just want to talk to other adults and share stuff that I don't get to share as much as I'd like. Or to use big grow-up words as often as this woman wants to use em. (Men have far fewer words to use each day and often use more than they would like, while women have MANY words they want to use and, especially those who stay home full-time, rarely use them all up on a regular basis!) There is still selfishness in my desire to talk because I don't usually get to, I know it and I know I need to work on this character flaw. I am. Recognition of a problem/flaw is the first step to change, right!? :) It's just so wonderful to share things (mostly good stuff) and hear responses in real-time! ^_^
In the past, during a time like my most recent bout with negative circular thinking, I would've verbally vomited here and to anyone else who would hear me. I am striving to change. Yet, I think it important to share the trouble from my current perspective because I am a frail woman full of problems and I would NOT want to give anyone the impression that I think I'm not simply because I tend to share mostly positive stuff anymore. :) I truly am trying to be and tend to be mostly positive anymore, but I have my down days just like anybody!
So, Jess and I had this arguement before I went to Louisiana. Yes. It's been a WHILE! July 13, I think, is when I left for that trip and the arguement started about 5 days before that. Anyway... the fussing and frustration was, eventaully, resolved and satisfactorily. I felt quite good about things. And then I went on the trip. I did try to keep us in regular contact with Jess and doing Devotionals as a family and whatnot, but it was far more difficult than the last time the kiddos and I went on a trip. Then it came time for me to return home. I was not feeling excited... I even felt some dread of it. Because of that arguement I mentioned above.
16 hours to think, given the feelings I felt when I depared, is not a good thing. I'm sure the lack of sleep contributed.
Family visited. Jess said something that was just one of those things he probably shouldn't have said while my brothers and their families were visiting. And from there I just felt the full return of all the negative feelings attached to the last two big arguements we'd had.
Anyway.... Basically, I was having unkind, intollerant, and even some uncalled-for thoughts about my husband. I was unforgiving. I refused to forgive. I felt justified in my unforgiveness even though I knew, in my heart, that I was wrong. I hardened my heart and stiffened my neck against the whispers that were telling me exactly how wrong I was. I'm so thankful the Lord didn't give up on me!!!
The only thing that has ever worked well to get me out of the negative circular thinking is God. He's always there and willing to help us with our silly little efforts to learn to walk with Him! And I know, truly, that I'm not even to the 'drunken baby' stage of my spiritual toddlerhood! (Don't you LOVE that analogy!??)
I used to feel stuck in the muck of those negative circular thoughts. I sorta did again these past couple weeks. Honestly, though, it was chosen... as it always is. I was just much more consciously rebellious this time around. I'm so glad and so very thankful that God gives us ample opportunities to change... and provided our Savior that we may endure in change through Him and hope for a future in Their presence!
There are lots of other ways I used to be that I'm able to see great growth (especially during difficult times). But these suffice for now. :)
This problematic behavior still troubles me, but not nearly as much as it did in the past. And when it creeps out, it's really more as a result of forgetting to guard my mind and tongue than with a feeling of "this opinion of mine, personally, must be shared, come hail or high water."
But, I think, the Lord has taken this personal weakness and turned it to His Glory and to support His purposes. I used to be unable (or unwilling, probably, is more the truth) to control my mouth in support of and profession of my thoughts, considerations and opinions. Now I feel compelled to NOT control my mouth in profession of God's precepts, principles and truths.
I used to be open with any and all about everything with which I was dealing and/or struggling. I would monopolize conversation time with my personal problems and frustrations. I still do this at times... mostly with my Mom and a very few select others. This is totally new to who I am and I like it, but it is also a difficult change to endure in because it is NOT natural to Tori. I still have a tendancy to monopolize with vocalization (talking) communication opportunities when I'm around other adults. But not because I feel selfish (which I know I did in the past), but, rather, because I just want to talk to other adults and share stuff that I don't get to share as much as I'd like. Or to use big grow-up words as often as this woman wants to use em. (Men have far fewer words to use each day and often use more than they would like, while women have MANY words they want to use and, especially those who stay home full-time, rarely use them all up on a regular basis!) There is still selfishness in my desire to talk because I don't usually get to, I know it and I know I need to work on this character flaw. I am. Recognition of a problem/flaw is the first step to change, right!? :) It's just so wonderful to share things (mostly good stuff) and hear responses in real-time! ^_^
In the past, during a time like my most recent bout with negative circular thinking, I would've verbally vomited here and to anyone else who would hear me. I am striving to change. Yet, I think it important to share the trouble from my current perspective because I am a frail woman full of problems and I would NOT want to give anyone the impression that I think I'm not simply because I tend to share mostly positive stuff anymore. :) I truly am trying to be and tend to be mostly positive anymore, but I have my down days just like anybody!
So, Jess and I had this arguement before I went to Louisiana. Yes. It's been a WHILE! July 13, I think, is when I left for that trip and the arguement started about 5 days before that. Anyway... the fussing and frustration was, eventaully, resolved and satisfactorily. I felt quite good about things. And then I went on the trip. I did try to keep us in regular contact with Jess and doing Devotionals as a family and whatnot, but it was far more difficult than the last time the kiddos and I went on a trip. Then it came time for me to return home. I was not feeling excited... I even felt some dread of it. Because of that arguement I mentioned above.
16 hours to think, given the feelings I felt when I depared, is not a good thing. I'm sure the lack of sleep contributed.
Family visited. Jess said something that was just one of those things he probably shouldn't have said while my brothers and their families were visiting. And from there I just felt the full return of all the negative feelings attached to the last two big arguements we'd had.
Anyway.... Basically, I was having unkind, intollerant, and even some uncalled-for thoughts about my husband. I was unforgiving. I refused to forgive. I felt justified in my unforgiveness even though I knew, in my heart, that I was wrong. I hardened my heart and stiffened my neck against the whispers that were telling me exactly how wrong I was. I'm so thankful the Lord didn't give up on me!!!
The only thing that has ever worked well to get me out of the negative circular thinking is God. He's always there and willing to help us with our silly little efforts to learn to walk with Him! And I know, truly, that I'm not even to the 'drunken baby' stage of my spiritual toddlerhood! (Don't you LOVE that analogy!??)
I used to feel stuck in the muck of those negative circular thoughts. I sorta did again these past couple weeks. Honestly, though, it was chosen... as it always is. I was just much more consciously rebellious this time around. I'm so glad and so very thankful that God gives us ample opportunities to change... and provided our Savior that we may endure in change through Him and hope for a future in Their presence!
There are lots of other ways I used to be that I'm able to see great growth (especially during difficult times). But these suffice for now. :)
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Even Though I'm Not Worthy....
I know I am less than the dust of the earth because the dust will go when Father says. I dicker and dither and don't right away. I'm a fallible human, for sure!
Even though I know I'm not worthy, I know the Lord loves me and I'm so grateful!!! I'm so grateful for the ways He shows me of His Love! And how He desires to help me look up from the muck of life through which I'm trudging to see the beautiful sky, clouds, birds, rainbows, and all other wonderful things He has in store for my view when I stop focusing on the immediate mess.
As a result of the negative circular thinking of the month (or just less) after my LA trip, I was feelin blue. Down and sad and all that jazz.
Father God was knocking with lovliness this last little while. I know He was showing me of His Love that I might refuse to focus on the muck through which I walk and, rather, look to all else He has provided (and remember that the muck is fertilizer for the future!
Father showed me He loved me by inspiring my husband to drop in at the house to get a deposit envelope so he could mail his earnings AND take the time to apologize to me for something; on Friday (8-12).
Heavenly Father showed me He loved me when my friend (who I'd been trying to visit with for the preivious 4 days) was able to come visit and listen to me blubber about problems and talk "adult;" on Monday (8-15).
He showed me He loved me by inspiring my hubby called to thank me for my work as wife, Mama, homeschool administrator, housekeeper (and all other jobs I must fulfill) AND apologize for something.
Our Father showed me He loved me when two previous Sister missionaries and one Elder wanted to and then did come to visit me on Tuesday!
He showed me He loved me when He arranged things such that I got to go the temple in the morning and then spend a lot more time than I expected with a dear friend on Wednesday.
He showed me He loved me when He inspired another previous Sister Missionary to come by for a visit with her new husband!
These are some of the "bigger" things in my little life that I recognize as tender mercies of the Lord and ways that He is showing me that He is mindful of me. He wants us all to feel of His Peace and Love. "Men are that they might have joy." It's true today as ever!
I know, of course, that The Atonement is THE greatest gift for which we all should be endlessly grateful! These little things are simply special for my little life. :)
Even though I know I'm not worthy, I know the Lord loves me and I'm so grateful!!! I'm so grateful for the ways He shows me of His Love! And how He desires to help me look up from the muck of life through which I'm trudging to see the beautiful sky, clouds, birds, rainbows, and all other wonderful things He has in store for my view when I stop focusing on the immediate mess.
As a result of the negative circular thinking of the month (or just less) after my LA trip, I was feelin blue. Down and sad and all that jazz.
Father God was knocking with lovliness this last little while. I know He was showing me of His Love that I might refuse to focus on the muck through which I walk and, rather, look to all else He has provided (and remember that the muck is fertilizer for the future!
Father showed me He loved me by inspiring my husband to drop in at the house to get a deposit envelope so he could mail his earnings AND take the time to apologize to me for something; on Friday (8-12).
Heavenly Father showed me He loved me when my friend (who I'd been trying to visit with for the preivious 4 days) was able to come visit and listen to me blubber about problems and talk "adult;" on Monday (8-15).
He showed me He loved me by inspiring my hubby called to thank me for my work as wife, Mama, homeschool administrator, housekeeper (and all other jobs I must fulfill) AND apologize for something.
Our Father showed me He loved me when two previous Sister missionaries and one Elder wanted to and then did come to visit me on Tuesday!
He showed me He loved me when He arranged things such that I got to go the temple in the morning and then spend a lot more time than I expected with a dear friend on Wednesday.
He showed me He loved me when He inspired another previous Sister Missionary to come by for a visit with her new husband!
These are some of the "bigger" things in my little life that I recognize as tender mercies of the Lord and ways that He is showing me that He is mindful of me. He wants us all to feel of His Peace and Love. "Men are that they might have joy." It's true today as ever!
I know, of course, that The Atonement is THE greatest gift for which we all should be endlessly grateful! These little things are simply special for my little life. :)
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Thankful Thursday, Week of August 11 to 17, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011: I'm thankful for time at home during which I was able to get a good bit of writing done.
Friday, August 12, 2011: I'm thankful for food from my church. It was our last pick-up. We sure are going to miss seeing Brother Kelly every other Friday!
Saturday, August 13, 2011: I'm thankful for the time I was able to write another Lesson of Life that needed to get out TODAY. I'm also glad I was able to attend a sweet lady's baptism. I was able to talk to her hubby and hopefully he'll be working for Jessie soon!
Sunday, August 14, 2011: I'm thankful for John. Today is his birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad (PopPop)!!!!!) John is extremely important to me. He is my Jessie's Dad. Without John living his life the way he did, my Jessie could not be the man he is. Although Jessie is not as perfect as many believe him to be, he is an amazing man. So, Dad G., I'm SO grateful to and for you!!! I'm grateful for the son you've raised to be my man and Daddy to our babies. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!
Monday, August 15, 2011: I'm thankful for another trip to Orlando to meet the other exchange student I will be helping and her family. Another Norwegian. How fun!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011: I'm thankful for Visiting Teaching and the opportunities to spend time with wonderful ladies that the assignment to visit teach create! I love the ladies the Lord has assigned me to be friends with!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011: I'm thankful for my Jessie's consistency in helping me and willingness to help me attend the temple regularly! I'm thankful for a first 4-H meeting with wonderful ladies and their kiddos! We're going to have such a good time!
Friday, August 12, 2011: I'm thankful for food from my church. It was our last pick-up. We sure are going to miss seeing Brother Kelly every other Friday!
Saturday, August 13, 2011: I'm thankful for the time I was able to write another Lesson of Life that needed to get out TODAY. I'm also glad I was able to attend a sweet lady's baptism. I was able to talk to her hubby and hopefully he'll be working for Jessie soon!
Sunday, August 14, 2011: I'm thankful for John. Today is his birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad (PopPop)!!!!!) John is extremely important to me. He is my Jessie's Dad. Without John living his life the way he did, my Jessie could not be the man he is. Although Jessie is not as perfect as many believe him to be, he is an amazing man. So, Dad G., I'm SO grateful to and for you!!! I'm grateful for the son you've raised to be my man and Daddy to our babies. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!
Monday, August 15, 2011: I'm thankful for another trip to Orlando to meet the other exchange student I will be helping and her family. Another Norwegian. How fun!
Tuesday, August 16, 2011: I'm thankful for Visiting Teaching and the opportunities to spend time with wonderful ladies that the assignment to visit teach create! I love the ladies the Lord has assigned me to be friends with!!
Wednesday, August 17, 2011: I'm thankful for my Jessie's consistency in helping me and willingness to help me attend the temple regularly! I'm thankful for a first 4-H meeting with wonderful ladies and their kiddos! We're going to have such a good time!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Thankful Thursday Week of August 4 to 10
Thursday, August 4, 2011: I'm thankful for a dear friend who loves me enough to speak her mind and fortify me in belief in myself and Faith AND utter words straight from the Lord to challenge me to do that which I've neglected doing for fear and lack of self-confidence.
Friday, August 5, 2011: I'm thankful for some exciting progress in writing a story I've been only half-trying to write for many years now. It's moving right along so far! ^_^ Now I just need to make time to SIT and write on it as much as possible each day!
Saturday, August 6, 2011: I'm thankful for whispers of the Holy Spirit* that prompted me to check on flight info for one of my exchange students. She arrives the 8th! and I didn't find out until today!
Sunday, August 7, 2011: I'm thankful for Fast and Testimony meetings, wonderful lessons prepared by diligent teachers, sweet kiddos who love the Lord and want to do the right, and an awesome dinner with Missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Monday, August 8, 2011: I'm thankful for the sweet woman my brother Ben married and their lovely and amazing eldest daughter. Kirsten turns THREE today! I can hardly believe it. She's one of the "quads" born within 5 months of one another. My Tea has a slew of cousins within a few months of her age! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRSTEN!!!! We LOVE you!!!! I'm also grateful for the opportunity to meet one of the foreign exchange students I'm responsible for communicating with for my job with ICES and her host family. It's going to be such a fun year!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011: I'm thankful for my Dad. Today is his birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad!!!) I'm glad he's here for another one. My Dad would've died a few years ago if he was HIS Dad. I'm hopeful that we may grow closer and build bridges of understanding and love with this time granted us all with him (you), granted us of the Lord! I'm also grateful for the time I was able to spend with a dear friend and her children today. We are going to be a 4H club together!!! I'm so excited for my kids AND for the gift of spending more time with my friend!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home to write some more on the story the Lord is urging me to get out of my head.
*The Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit) and Personal Revelation
AND a talk by Elder Bednar about the Holy Spirit
Friday, August 5, 2011: I'm thankful for some exciting progress in writing a story I've been only half-trying to write for many years now. It's moving right along so far! ^_^ Now I just need to make time to SIT and write on it as much as possible each day!
Saturday, August 6, 2011: I'm thankful for whispers of the Holy Spirit* that prompted me to check on flight info for one of my exchange students. She arrives the 8th! and I didn't find out until today!
Sunday, August 7, 2011: I'm thankful for Fast and Testimony meetings, wonderful lessons prepared by diligent teachers, sweet kiddos who love the Lord and want to do the right, and an awesome dinner with Missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
Monday, August 8, 2011: I'm thankful for the sweet woman my brother Ben married and their lovely and amazing eldest daughter. Kirsten turns THREE today! I can hardly believe it. She's one of the "quads" born within 5 months of one another. My Tea has a slew of cousins within a few months of her age! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRSTEN!!!! We LOVE you!!!! I'm also grateful for the opportunity to meet one of the foreign exchange students I'm responsible for communicating with for my job with ICES and her host family. It's going to be such a fun year!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011: I'm thankful for my Dad. Today is his birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad!!!) I'm glad he's here for another one. My Dad would've died a few years ago if he was HIS Dad. I'm hopeful that we may grow closer and build bridges of understanding and love with this time granted us all with him (you), granted us of the Lord! I'm also grateful for the time I was able to spend with a dear friend and her children today. We are going to be a 4H club together!!! I'm so excited for my kids AND for the gift of spending more time with my friend!
Wednesday, August 10, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home to write some more on the story the Lord is urging me to get out of my head.
*The Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit) and Personal Revelation
AND a talk by Elder Bednar about the Holy Spirit
Friday, August 5, 2011
Thankful Thursday, Week of July 28 - August 3, 2011
Check out EDUCATING EVELYN to join a link-up for Thankful Thursday! Let's shine some light in the darknened world!!!
Thursday, July 28, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home to rest and try to get things in order.
Friday, July 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the food we have been blessed to receive of the church and thankful for the comfort, peace, and nourishment it has provided through this time of difficulty in joblessness and underemployment.
Saturday, July 30, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home.
Sunday, July 31, 2011: I'm thankful for gifts from a sweet family as they prepare to move. I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend time with our Ward Family and enjoy food together. I'm so grateful for the blessing of working with a friend on her life story!
Monday, August 1, 2011: I'm thankful for the job Jessie started today. I'm glad he's happy with it and pray it will be a long-time position.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011: I'm thankful for the lunches we've enjoyed with Jess during his break between shifts at work.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to watch the last Harry Potter movie.
Thursday, July 28, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home to rest and try to get things in order.
Friday, July 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the food we have been blessed to receive of the church and thankful for the comfort, peace, and nourishment it has provided through this time of difficulty in joblessness and underemployment.
Saturday, July 30, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home.
Sunday, July 31, 2011: I'm thankful for gifts from a sweet family as they prepare to move. I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend time with our Ward Family and enjoy food together. I'm so grateful for the blessing of working with a friend on her life story!
Monday, August 1, 2011: I'm thankful for the job Jessie started today. I'm glad he's happy with it and pray it will be a long-time position.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011: I'm thankful for the lunches we've enjoyed with Jess during his break between shifts at work.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to watch the last Harry Potter movie.
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