We Keep Choosing Us

Thankful Thursday: Week of January 19 - 25

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Thursday, January 19, 2012: I'm thankful for the peaceful good day we've had today. I'm especially grateful for those things Jessie did of his own desire and motivation. I'm especially thankful that among the things he accomplished today he did dishes! What a help to me! He also fitted out our newest bunnies in a safer location (on our patio and in the pet-like hutch we sort of bought). Additionally (an no less importantly), he fixed the current rabbit-keeping get-up to be more firmly attached and in place. Hopefully whatever is predating our rabbits will be UNsuccessful in the future!

Friday, January 20, 2012: I'm thankful for the cleaning, letter writing and story-writing I was able to do today. What a productive (though in small ways) day! I love to see results of my efforts! I'm grateful that Jessie took some time out of his work day to get the tags for our vehicles and deposit our paycheck. Unfortunately, he didn't have everything he needed to do the job.... ahwell. He certainly tried.

Saturday, January 21, 2012: I'm thankful for the quiet day at home and the things we were able to accomplish (not much, but also a lot). Shifting the "media/craft room" around.

Sunday, January 22, 2012: I'm thankful for health and the opportunity to go to church together as a family. YEAY! We are all well and hopefully we'll stay this way for a while!

Monday, January 23, 2012: I'm thankful for Peace in my heart even when the world seems to run a-muck around me. I'm grateful to be able to accomplish much (never enough, but still happy for what does get done). Today, phone conversations to resolve ICES stuff and empathize with a Sister are the accomplishment of the morning.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012: I'm thankful for the errands Jessie ran today, which will decrease the stress of running those same errands with all our kiddos. I'm grateful for the work he does, generally.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012: I'm thankful for the serving of our family Jessie did today. He dropped by Tractor Supply to get some chicken wire, then off to the dirt store to buy some more good stuff, then back home to bust his bum some in getting the awesome dirt in place. We normally work together as soon as he gets home with the black stuff, but today I was working on something when he got home. He got right to work, for which I'm super grateful because doing so enabled us to have a more leisurely lunch together before he had to go to work for the night.

Although I am not happy that what has happened HAS happened, I'm so beyond grateful for the opportunity to serve (in my capacity as Compassionate Service Leader) a really wonderful family in my Ward. I have felt some moments of pure joy in service for them, for which I am tremendously grateful!

I'm also grateful for the awesome experience of receiving what felt like to me, a download of information from Heavenly Father which I have high hopes may help the person it is meant to bless. "Oh, use me God!" my soul joyfully cried, when I learned from my friend that the information I'd received sounds good to her!! I'm so grateful to feel to be an instrument in His Hands!!!

Thankful Thursday: Week of January 12 to 18

2012-01-19T15:27:00.000-05:00

Thursday, January 12, 2012: I'm thankful for the garden work we were able to get going today. We now have almost double the space we started with before our efforts! YEAY! I'm hoping I'll have a good planting plan sometime soon!

I'm grateful for the writing I've been able to get done. 27 pages in the past 3 days (not including today). Pretty awesome, yes? :)

Friday, January 13, 2012: I'm thankful for answered prayers. I've been praying the Lord to bless me with Quantum Leaps in my progression... mostly Spiritual, but also hoping for other things and other ways of becoming better... I realized just recently that the Lord has answered my prayer by blessing me with numerous trials. The most recent trial of ill health has been cumbersome, to say the least. Each time I think my sweet babies are better, they barf again. :( It's exhausting. Emotionally, mentally, and even spiritually exhausting. I pray I am truly Leaping... but fear I am barely baby stepping along!

Jessie made some suggestions about writing effort he would like to see me make and since then I have met or exceeded his suggestion. He said it was not an expectation, per se, but I have felt it to be just that. Good progress in the THE story that has been gestating in me for the last eight year is such a joy. I feel such excitment in learning what is happening in the lives of these characters that are almost like friends in my mind! If you don't write, I realize that could sound crazy, but it's really quite normal. I promise. :)

Saturday, Januaray 14, 2012: I'm thankful for all the work my children and I were able to accomplish this afternoon! Kat and Tea did help, but really it was mostly Ria and me working hard to get some more of our front garden area defined so we can pack it full of good dirt. (Our soil here is mostly sand with a little dust-like dirt mixed in. When I dig down far enough, it's a bit of clay mixed with dirt. Amazing, right?) We did get the area completed. It was wonderful to accomplish so much with my kiddos! Jmy was a sweetie almost the whole time. He crawled back and forth, following his sisters in their efforts to gather dirt in a little bucket and move the liner stones we used. I got the easiest work today. I'm still super tired for the 26 hours awake last Sunday.... Anyway... hopefully we'll be able to get the dirt on Tuesday. I'm sure we'll be able to spread it over the whole area, but I think we'll have to make one more haul to fill in the area to the depth we need. I still haven't planned out the plantings....

Plus we have a long strip area in the back that needs work. We're making that area into huglekulture (as well as the third 8x10 bed we fixed up a few weeks ago). I'm hoping this kinda of garden will help us with the dry hot summer!

Sunday, January 15, 2012: I'm thankful for the Sacrament. I went to church to partake and then back home because Ria barfed Saturday night and Kat barfed twice this morning! "/ I'm grateful for the peaceful and enjoyable day we spent together as a family.

Monday, January 16, 2012: I'm thankful for how helpful my girls can be when we have work to do. I'm grateful for their loving dispositions. I'm grateful that I was able to get some work done in our front garden area and then salvage some screws for future projects.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012: I'm thankful for the awesome work Jessie did in getting another load of mushroom compost for our gardens. We've got the front area we've been working on completely covered... just have to get another load to finish it off. We'll probably also be able to start adding soil to the LONG garden box in the back in which I hope to plant lots of peas for eating (and, if I'm truly blessed: canning!). ^_^

Wednesday, January 18, 2012: I'm thankful for Jessie, my husband. Jess is a good human being. He's strong (physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually). He is talented: plays guitar, teaching himself to sing, writes well when he sits down to do it (stories and songs, etc) and he's got a most amazing and enjoyable imagination! Jessie is very VERY skilled! He is a Chef, a musician, a mechanic, a handy-man, a good planner (when he puts his mind to it), a great play-mate for children, and a hard worker when he chooses to be. He is just a really good person. I'm grateful he found me on matchmaker.com these 11 years ago! I'm even more grateful that, even though I wasn't a praying girl or doing right in many ways, that the Lord whispered loud and clear that I should break some of my "rules" to meet this guy. Even with all the troubles, he's really worth it all! I'm grateful for the Father he is and is becoming. I'm grateful for the provider he is and consistently tries to be. I'm grateful for his efforts to become a better man. I'm grateful that he is my husband and pray WE will both continue to successfully KEEP CHOOSING US! ICU, JessieWho. I really do. And I still choose you.

I'm grateful for those things that were accomplished today, especially what Jess chose to do without being asked: fitting a light up in our computer room. It's so much brighter in there at night now. I'm grateful for the time we were able to spend together as a family. It was a GOOD day!

Thankful Thursday: Week of January 5 to 11

2012-01-11T20:00:00.001-05:00

Thursday, January 5, 2011: I'm thankful for all the work we were able to accomplish toward the garden. It was really nice to have a family meal before Jessie went off to work, too!

Friday, January 6, 2011: I'm thankful for my sister-in-law, Anni. Today is her birthday. Although she dislikes me with a vehemence I don't quite understand, I am grateful for her because without Anni in Jessie's life, I know my husband would not be exactly who he is. And since he's my Man, and We
Keep Choosing Us, I'm grateful for who he is and what part she has had in making him HIM! I'm grateful for all those who have been in Jessie's life who have contributed to the man he is. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Anni. I'm grateful for you and hope you have a wonderful day!

I'm also thankful that, even though the day started out difficult, it has been a peaceful day. Kat awakened for the first time around 3 or 4am to throw up, then again a few hours later, another time or two after that. She hasn't hurled for a few hours now, which is wonderful. Hopefully she'll remain well and we'll be able to go to church on Sunday. We'll see.

Saturday, January 7, 2011: I'm thankful for productive and peaceful days like today. I created an "event" in Facebook for Ria's birthday party/activity. I did a tiny bit of organizing food storage to free up some cardboard boxes we're using for gardening. I was able to purchase a couple things from Emergency Essentials with some gift cards I earned (so exciting!). And finally made some headway in getting some information for my ICES job. YEAY!

Sunday, January 8, 2011: I'm thankful for more time as a family than we normally have on Sundays.... I missed going to church to partake of the Sacrament, but illness has been upon us. Kat started throwing up on Friday. Diarhea Saturday and today. Early this morning Tea started throwing up. Jess is feeling nauseous and I have a horrible headache. I honestly do not feel thankful for the illness anymore. Trying to be grateful about what the illness has caused/brought with it.

Monday, January 9, 2011: I'm thankful for an easier day than I expected after Tea and Jmy being ill yesterday. Neither of them threw up again today. YEAY! Praise the Lord for His mercies.

Tuesday, January 10, 2011: I'm thankful for a lovely day trip to Orlando with my family. The children wore their balck and white clothes Brother Kelly gave them for Christmas. Their appearance and enjoyment of dressing alike warmed my heart tremendously. I'm so grateful for my family!

Wednesday, January 11, 2011: I'm thankful that I was able to accomplish some work that needed to be done. I'm grateful for encouragement to write - in the last two days I've written sixteen pages of my story! (That's one long-ish and two short chapters!) ^_^ Jessie heard about Amanda Hocking on the radio Sunday night and has encouraged me to try for similar success. So... I am. :) I hope you may choose to purchase my book and spread the word once I've released it via ebook formatt.

Believed In

2012-01-09T00:12:00.000-05:00

How can words describe the joy
that flexed its wings in my heart
when I realized your words were no ploy?

I think that they, sweet though words are,
fall short in effort to deploy
this hope you've renewed; to describe this new star.

To believe in self is good; and yet
it will carry you only so far.
The light from this star's birth will long be felt, I bet.

A few simple words and suggestions made.
Radiant beams; this star will not set.
It's the most wonderful compliment paid.

Don't you see,
the foundation laid?
A new way to be.

These wings will grow stronger and are sure to flap hard.
The new being burst forth into Light is still me.
Yet not, for the chrysalis has been marred.

A new me filled with this star begins to emerge.
The old doubtings begin to be charred.
Various wings and Ways begin to merge.

Questions, plans, and hopes rise up
as the joy within me continues to surge.
And I am that which runneth over: the cup.

Gratitude falls short to gather the sum.
Am I thankful? Yup!
I hope I'm no bum.

So the tank begins to fill.
Though starved long, this is no crumb.
The adventure begins anew, if God Will.

A Birthday

2012-01-06T07:35:00.002-05:00

January 6, 2012.

Happy Birthday, Anni. I hope it's a lovely day in every way. Truly.

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 29 - January 4, 2012

2012-01-05T12:57:00.000-05:00

Thursday, December 29, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work in our garden. I'm grateful for his thoughtfulness and consideration in providing us with a great dinner so I could continue to rest and recooperate!

Friday, December 30, 2011: I'm thankful for good shopping with my children. We went to 3 stores in 4 hours. They were TROOPERS! Kat said, while we were in the third store, "We've already been here today, Mama!" Nope, we hadn't... they just all look the same. Different prices, though... by a LOT, amazingly enough!

Saturday, December 31, 2011: I'm thankful for a peaceful day and Jessie coming home much earlier than I expected! I'm grateful to still be married... 9 years married 11 years together now.

Sunday, January 1, 2012: I'm thankful for good talks and lessons at church today. I have not, as is MY tradition, set any "New Year's Resolutions". When I used to, I always failed to keep them very long and felt like a failure. So, I simply set and work toward goals all year long... I just refuse to set or start or re-start any the first week of January! ;)

Monday, January 2, 2012: I'm thankful for a peaceful day... for the most part. Spent some money on seeds and such... hoping to get this Florida gardening thing down this next season. I'm good at growing green things... just not much PRODUCE coming from it. :( I REALLY hope to have to can up some good stuff from the Spring gardens!

I spent the day managing my lil' brood and trying to teach what is important.

Life is trial, but I sure DO love it and I'm SO grateful for it... ALL!!!!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012: I'm thankful for the productive day we had today. Off to the Post Office to mail a very small package... hoping it'll be well received. Then off to my midwife's office to finally get Tea and Jmy's blood tests done. Found out their blood types. Neat to see that process... and they were both courageous troopers in getting poked by the lancet! Then off to a treat on the way home. The girls were very well behaved! (As was Jmy!) I'm so grateful for the many blessings the Lord sees fit to bestow upon me!!!!

I'm looking forward to receiving some recent purchases (family gifts, really) in the mail. We're waiting for beneficial nematodes (these are our latest effort to deal with the fire ants naturally... they are such a deterrant to my efforts to work in the garden... the horrible pimple-like welts the ant bites cause and the months-long itching that follows.... then the bite spots are visible indefinitely... ugh! Hopefully these tiny guys (the beneficial nematodes) will make the difference I've read they can!), red wigglers (worms; we're finally beginning our worm composting project!), as well as lots more heirloom open-pollintated seeds. FINALLY I was able to buy some comfrey! YEAY! I'm praying we'll have a great deal of success in our efforts! Pray for us, if you think of it! :)

Wednesday, January 4, 2012: I'm thankful for all the work we were able to accomplish outside. We're getting new garden areas prepared and ready for Spring planting. I'm also grateful for the enjoyable 4-H meeting we had this evening. Planning for our big Service Project went well as well as work on the children's Community Unity Project book (which they'll turn into the Extension Office by the end of the school year). They are enjoying the work, which is a pleasure to see.

Sunbeams and other Small but Special bits around Here

2012-01-03T19:52:00.000-05:00

Our youngest daughter is Tea. She is three. For the first time ever, she went to Primary this past Sunday. I was sitting sort of looking at her later that day and that fact struck me so profoundly that I had to express it with a declaration: "Tea! you are a SUNBEAM!!" She, very calmly and peacefully smiled and said, "Yep." She loved it. As it happens, she was in class with Kat. I'm sure that's the best for my Tea since she's rather slow to warm up to new things and new people... just like her Daddy!

She loved it, though. She was quite happy to be in "Sunbeams," even though she really wasn't in a special class just for Sunbeams. They don't have enough teachers to support a seperate class for the youngest Primary goers right now. Soon, I'm sure, they will. But she's happy to be a Sunbeam! And I'm amazed that three of my four kiddos are in Primary! ^_^

Ria will enter the waters of baptism soon. I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that she'll soon be eight! EIGHT! My children are growing up way too fast!

Time. It's doesn't seem to be linear for me lately. It's been interesting... the way I feel to perceive time. Strange and wonderful.

Gardening is big in my world right now. Even as the weather has turned rather cold (for us here). I've got worms coming in the mail as well as beneficial nematodes. Last week Jess went to a near place to buy some mushroom compost. Good deal for what seems to be really good dirt. It's a pain that we have to buy and bring in dirt, but the cultivated food stuff we'd like to grow will not produce much in the sand that is our land. So, we're building it up as best we can. Hopefully we'll have the additional 2 raised beds I've been working on and we've worked on up and going when it's time to put seeds out in the yard! I started a 4x8 a couple months ago and Jessie helped us get another 4x10 almost compeltely ready last week. I've also got to 1/2 blue barrells - mostly full of weeds currently, but still. I'm hoping to get another VERY long and 1 foot deep bed set up right against the house for vining food stuffs... and maybe some vining flowers I was blessed to receive from someone. I've also got some good flower seeds from varios places I want to get planted... hopefully in the next 6 weeks before the Spring weather sets in well. We'll see. I'm so hoping that the gardens will produce more this time around... lots of green from our most recent planting... lots of radishes, but nothing else. I almost had one zucchini, but something ate it before we got to pick it. grrr... That's the way of it here... great for growing, but hard to collect from my efforts - it seems.

Jess has been able to have more consistent time away from work recently. He's still working too many hours, but it's beginning to improve.

Ria is progressing WELL in all of her studies. She is becoming quite the little baker, too! She's also a wonderful pancake maker! ^_^ She loves to make PB&J and anything else I allow her to try her hand at. She's amazing. She's a wonderful helper and tries so very hard to choose the right. She's getting tall, too. I can hardly believe my little Ria is so TALL. She isn't compared to other children her age, but she IS to me!! She's read and LOVED Eldest (the second book in the Inheritance Series). It's been fun and funny for me to hear them pretending to be dragons and riders, as per Ria's reading and imagination resulting from her reading of Eragon and Eldest! And then Kat, with her input of Fairies, in particular our visiting faries. SUCH fun!!!

Kat is not far behind her big sister, who she adores, of course. She is reading WELL now and voraciously reads anything she can put her hands on. She loves pretend play, too, of course. Though some might think otherwise, these little girls are not book worms. They simply don't spend hours in front of electronic devices... and spend the time that other children may use computers or whatnot READing! Kat doesn't stick to harder reading material without some encouragement, but she's also only 5... and harder material is a book like Eragon! She WANTS to like it because Ria and I enjoy the series so much, but it's difficult for her to wade through at this point. I have heard her declaring quite a few times recently that she wants to be called Kate... interesting!

Tea is trying so hard to work and produce. She's an amazingly hard worker for a 3 year old! She is moving along in her efforts to learn to read. She wants very much to do her handwriting class, but I'm holding her back because her hand-eye coordination is quite low and I know the frustration that would ensue (on both our parts). Also, I know, from experience, that allowing my children to desire something for a while before I allow it creates a longer-lived effort/endurange in them. So, she'll wait a while. I'm impressed and have been quite surprised by what she is retaining! She may be my earliest reader yet... if she has HER way! ^_^ (Latest walker... earliest reader... hmmmm.)

All three girls have LOVED the painting project I've allowed them to begin and/or work on. They have each created materpieces on our walls. And Jmy has had his hand at coloring on the walls, too... he used crayon, but still! This may sound odd, but it's an exciting project! Each of our girls has been given some painting space, taped off, and they have went at it and created beautiful paintings right on our walls. There are going to be a few more... and then they'll be framed by actual wood (if I have my way) and then a chair-rail will go up, rather high, between the paintings. In my mind's eye it is wonderful... and what already IS is also wonderful! ^_^

Jmy is wonderful. He's a sweet lil' guy. He's usually happy and if he's not there is usually a VERY good reason for it! ^_^ He's still nursing well and strongly, but he LOVES table food, too. He's eating basically everything we eat (less peanut butter, eggs all by themselves, strawberries, and things like that which he may be sensitive to). He LOVED the mixed greens and black-eyed peas we had for New Year's Day party. He's on the verge of being a toddler. He totally CAN walk, he just chooses NOT to for the most part! It's so fun and funny to observe his efforts. He walks well and confidently along things (cruising), but to take two steps away from something... u-uuuhh! no way! He is also a very hard worker. He likes to observe how things work (like the wheels that keep turning after being pushed slightly on his monster truck) and take things out (like folded clothes from drawers), and watch things fall (like when he drops something on purpose. You know, all the wonderful sweet baby-learning things. He's a smartie!

I'm doing well. After the two illnesses in December... because of?... I fell off the daily exercise habit wagon. :( grrrr... Before that fall I started to stay up to see Jessie when he came home from work. THAT was more because I was concerned for his job (again!) - our boss had threatened his position and I felt super-duper uneasy... So, I was staying up at night to listen to and try to discern how our position was (firm or almost lost, etc - so I could prepare, at least mentally, for unemployment and the financial difficulties that would follow - should the worst come to pass). Hopefully the reason for my concern is firmly behind us because I desire to regain the two steps I feel to have back-stepped (sleep and exercise)! I also hope for continued improvement in our financial "house"! I dislike how I've been feeling since I've been staying up late, not getting enough sleep, and not being able to exercise daily!

Life is good. Even amid the trials, difficulties and muck of the journey... LIFE is GOOD. I'm so grateful for my family, my life, and the favor I see the Lord let fall upon us! God is Great!!!!

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 22 - 28, 2011

2012-01-02T17:19:00.000-05:00

Thursday, December 22, 2011: I'm thankful for time as a family. I'm grateful for productive afternoons and family time to work together! I'm grateful for the smoked turkey (our turkey he brought to work) Jessie brought home. YUM!!!

Friday, December 23, 2011: I'm thankful for productive days with my children. I'm grateful for actions that prove words. I'm grateful for loyalty and familial love!

Saturday, December 24, 2011: I'm thankful for the wonderful baptism with beautiful talks this morning! I'm especially grateful for it because Ria and I (mostly Ria! with me as overseer) spent some time on Wed, Thursday, and Friday baking in preparation for this dear Sister's Baptism. Ria has 'graduated' from her MUFFINS portion of her Baking Adult Skills Class! ^_^ She (and I did help) made: cranberry sauce muffins, carrot muffins, applesauce muffins with cream cheese frosting, pumpkin muffins with cream cheese centers, sweet potatoe muffins with cream cheese centers, corn muffins, zucchini muffins, and I think there may have been another type, but I can't remember what! hahaha ^_^ What a pleasure! And what a joy to use some of my old Pampered Chef items to make a slightly pretty display of the food. ^_^ We had so many left over, we were able to bring a gift of muffins to Jessie's work for the employees there.

I'm grateful for the blessing of having Jessie home for the evening. The restaurant closed early. I'm grateful for the gift opening time we enjoyed and the wonderful reactions and enjoyment of our children. They each received three gifts; not very expensive, but they were WELL pleased with them! Hopefully family pictures will follow soon... WalMart picture center, here we come! ;)

Sunday, December 25, 2011: I'm thankful for Jesus Christ and all He has done for us!

Monday, December 26, 2011: I'm thankful for another illness? Yep. Just me this time.

Tuesday, December 27, 2011: I'm thankful for indoor plumbing!

Wednesday, December 28, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie being home in the morning. I'm grateful for the opportunity to rest while he was home.

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 1 - 7, 2011

2011-12-09T11:33:00.000-05:00

Thursday, December 1, 2011: I'm thankful for the extra rest I was blessed to partake of this morning. The mastitis seems to be completely abated! YEAY!! This was MUCH faster that the last time I had it (all too recently). I'm grateful for the great workout I enjoyed this morning. I'm also thankful for the visible changes going on in my body! My Ria told me, at day 3, I think it was, "Mama, you look thinner already!" I didn't really see it, so I thanked her for thinking so. Then the next day she said, "No, Mama, you're really looking thinner already!" Then, yesterday, she told me, "Mama you're glowing! No, you really really are! You look so pretty!" No one else has noticed any difference in me (including me, for the most part). However, last night (a little), but more so this morning I could see some differences in my body. And then I remembered that I hadn't taken my measurements since the initial measuring. In this program I'm doing, you're supposed to take your measurements every week. So, I took them today. I'm two days late.

Just as a note, rather important in my opinion: I have NOT been watching what I eat. Imagine how much better my results could be if I WAS! However, I'm not. I've eaten way WAY way too much sugary stuff. Rice crisy treats, pie, pumpkin gooey cake, banana gooey cake, snicker doodles, and more... and this poor eating started before Thanksgiving! I began this every-day 'boot camp' on Saturday, November 26, 2011. Today is December 1. I took my measurements on November 22 (I was planning to start the boot camp right then, but didn't.) However, to fully inform you, I was doing the exercises (from this program) that I could find online for about a week before I got my DVD and then I did the workout video twice after I received it. So, the visual impact of the changes in my body are not "just" from one week. BUT the inches lost ARE from November 22 until today. How many inches would you guess I've lost in that amount of time (9 days, I think)? Well, I've lost 7.25!!!! Isn't that AWESOME!!?!??!! I'm SO freakin' excited!!!! I feel even more hopeful about the changes I feel must happen over the course of the next few months.

Oh, I had this realization, for which I'm deeply grateful. I truly believe the Lord showed me this truth. In fact, He has probably been trying to teach me this truth for the majority of my life, but I would not know... In fact, I believed the exact opposite for most of my life, really. The truth I have realized is that I am a thin being who has trapped herself in a fat body because I mistakenly believed it would protect me. I have bound myself (like as in hand-cuffs or tied by ropes) by unfitness because I thought it would free me. I know, sounds strange, but it's the TRUTH! My truth. My Spirit was not "fat" before I learned how to fit into my baby body. I was thin, just as we all were in the Pre-Existence. I was fit and healthy because by Spirit body was perfect as perfect could be. So, now that I know this truth, I feel so amazingly empowered and more at peace about the whole process of getting fit and healthier. I realize that I simply need to do the work I need to do and my body/Spirit will take care of the rest; for it truly seeks stasis in HEALTH. Since part of health is FITness I simply need to get to work!!!! So... I look forward to watching with peace and enjoyment the changes my body will make as I move toward greater fitness (mind, body, heart, Spirit) than I've ever had before in my life!!!!! ^_^

Ria and Kat just tried to take pictures of me yesterday. They were fuzzy because the battery was almost dead. We're going to try again today... some day I'll be able to post them as well as the changes I'll continue to experience! Don't know when because I still don't have communication between my desktop and camera... someday, though I'll get them up! ;) So, from what I can predict, I'll have to get the pictures from my camera onto a disc and then upload them here as I did before. I do NOT know when I'll be able to do that. So... you'll just have to imagine for now. ^_^

Next week I'll report on the inches for the week AND the total from first measure. I hope you'll look forward to reading as much I do to learning and sharing!!!!! ^_^

Friday, December 2, 2011: I'm thankful for a good night's sleep. I woke up quite early this morning and felt well rested. I stayed in bed and rested some more so Jimmy would stay asleep. He's a much nicer baby to have around when he's had enough sleep!

I'm grateful for fun with my girls. They loved doing some art work today and their creations were wonderful to behold! Took pictures, but still no communication between computer and camera. Sorry!

I'm grateful for days at home. I'm grateful for my exercise class (on DVD) and the hard work of my children! They are amazing!!

Saturday, December 3, 2011: I'm thankful for enjoyable days at home. The girls worked on some ornament making after much requesting. They had a lot of fun with it. We also got some cleaning done, which is always good to do on Saturdays. :) I'm grateful for my "secret" workout and the way it helps me feel SO good!

Sunday, December 4, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Sabbath Day. I'm grateful for Confirmation that the change in our Ward Leadership was correct and right. I'm grateful for the WONDERFUL compliment paid me by a friend who said, "I think you're good for my future." What a great one, right? I think it is the best compliment I've ever received. :) I'm grateful for enjoyable lessons and feeling the Spirit.

Monday, December 5, 2011: I'm thankful for the feelings of GOODness and wellbeing I've been blessed with today and a bit yesterday. I'm so grateful the Lord is seeing fit to bless me in this way because I was beginning to feel a bit despondent... much turmoil in my mind and soul for too long feels to be abating and I'm grateful!

I'm grateful for the awesome workout I enjoy! I believe today is day 10 of my 14 day boot camp and I'm feeling kind of sad that it's almost done and I'll move to doing it every other day.... Weird, right? But I'm trying to do the exercise portion of this system I found in the way suggested by the originator/designer of it. She says frequently, "Less is more." And I have a feeling she's really right! I'm grateful that there are portions of the workout that I can continue to do daily even if not the full-on lil' 15 minutes I've been doing... after a step-down to doing it every other day for a few weeks and then every third day for a couple weeks, I'm planning to do another boot camp of the more intense workout. Should be interesting! ^_^

I'm grateful for the awesome workout I continue to enjoy. I'm looking forward to taking my measurements again on Thursday! :)

Tuesday, December 6, 2011: I'm thankful for a good day full of productivity. Ria and I baked LOTS of cookies after we ran some errands earlier in the day. Ria is such a great little baker. I could've probably left her alone to do the three types of cookies we worked on today, but worked with her because #1 I wanted to and #2 I wanted to be able to say I helped make them! ^_^ So, we made snickerdoodles, peanut butter cookies, and peanut butter chubs (they have reces cups in them). That last type is for Jess, mostly, but I'm also bringing some to the baby shower we're going to on Thursday.

I'm grateful that JMy allowed me to complete my short workout this evening. He did cry cause he pulled something down on him, but he was all right and calmed right down. What a precious guy! :) I'm grateful for the great workout I enjoyed!

Wednesday, December 7, 2011: I'm thankful for some time alone to daydream, read my scriptures, pray and do my back stretch. I'm grateful Jessie took some time at home to work on the computer and finish the part of the project I could not do, of the one he let me help him with. I'm excited to get the bits back to finish it up for him. There is something truly satisfying in feeling that I am directly fullfilling my role and duty as helpmeet.

I'm grateful for the hard work of my Ria in doing her chores, school AND baking lots and lots of cookies. She can be such a good hard worker! I love it when she is!

I'm grateful for Tea's efforts to productively occupy herself. I really need to find work for her to do because she so desires to be helpful!

I'm grateful for Kat; even when she's not obedient and unproductive. She's amazing and wonderful in so many ways. And I love her!

I'm grateful for JMy and his sweet temperment; most of the time. I'm grateful for his funny smiles and sweet laughs and giggles.

I'm grateful for Jessie's work, which enables me to work at him with our children!

I'm grateful for 4H... perfect motivator to do some housework I'd been putting off! Love it! I was blessed with the opportunity to see how quickly I could put a kids' craft together and pull an example together to show what it should look like. What a cool challenge! And THIS is what I found and what we made. We haven't yet made any with the foil between the "petals" of the star/flower, but we have made the basic AND the one with the foil star on both sides.... VERY nice. I could decorate a whole tree with these and feel like it looked quite nice! ^_^ I prepainted the rolls, cut them, and the adults made the foil stars, but the pieces were quite kid friendly (about 5years and up). Tea loved doing it, too, but needed quite a lot of help. What a blessing to my life my 4H Mama-friends are!!! LOVE those ladies!!!

I remain very thankful for the workout program I've found and the changes in my body and feelings of well-being, which I continue to feel and experience. :) (And Ria keeps telling me how much thinner I'm looking. And I can tell she means the compliments sincerely - not trying to get something out of me. ^_^)

Thankful Thursday, Week of November 24 - 30, 2011

2011-12-01T12:30:00.000-05:00

Thursday, November 24, 2011: I'm thankful for my brother John. He is an amazing strong and good person. He has a Spirit that most cannot fathom. I know because we can get a glimpse of the strength of a person as we observe their trials. The most difficult trials come upon those who are strongest... or who must needs become strongest to be the servants God desires them to be. My brother was made to be a mover and a shaker. ^_^ I'm grateful for the friendship we had growing up. I didn't have many friends. He was one of the few. I'm grateful for the hope that I have that some day he may be my friend again. I'm grateful John is my brother. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you have a perfectly wonderful day in every way! And even though I haven't loved you as you would've liked or needed me to; I DO love you!

I'm thankful for a happy, peaceful and eventful Thanksgiving. We enjoyed an early dinner at Pittmaster BBQ. It was a private party and a real pleasure! Mr. Sam, otherwise known as Poppy, outdid himself in the preparations. We brought some items to share and enjoyed meeting his children and some of their families. It was a good experience. Then we headed over to Grammy Jo and Grampy Butch Marks' house. We got to meet Jo's brother Dave, his wife Joyce and their daughter Melissa, or Missy. Jo's brother Rick was also there. Tracy, Shawna and Hunter were there as well, which is always a pleasure. I ended up having a lovely conversation about the Gospel and Doctrines of Christ with Joyce and Dave. And the most wonderful part about THAT, to me, is that Jo and Butch were so happy with how I conducted myself and how I was able to share some certain things that they'd never been able to get in edgewise! What a joy!

Friday, November 25, 2011: I'm thankful for a restful day at home. I did a little work, read a bit, helped Jimmy sleep and snoozed for thirty minutes (REALLY rare for me to nap!), and had a good peaceful day at home. I'm thankful for time at home. I love being in our beautiful comfy home and being with my awesome (though very imperfect, of course) children. :)

Saturday, November 26, 2011: I'm thankful for a mostly good night's sleep. They have been few and far between as of late, so last night was good relative to lately. :)

I'm thankful for time at home to get ready for Sunday and to simply be with my children. We've missed our regular reading time in the evening. I still desire to read before they head to bed, but because it's been so difficult to realize lately, and the reading time together is so important to me, I've decided to do it in the morning as I wait for them to be able to join me for Devotionals. So, I started reading our book while they finished up eating. What a sweet time... and, for the most part, they were more still and reverent during Devotionals, too! Makes me want to keep doing this in hopes of THAT kind of result! :)

I'm thankful for a 15 minutes workout that got the heat rising in my core. Love it! After, I think, four days of a "break" (unintentional as it was) from exercise, it was difficult to get up specifically to exercise today, but I sure am glad I did! When I see how this "secret" works for me, I'll share more about it. ;)

Sunday, November 27, 2011: I'm thankful for a nourishing day at church today. It was a pleasure to hear a talk on Charity based on Sister Allred's talk from the Relief Society broadcast given by Sister Hubbs, a talk on gratitude by Brother Mixon, a wonderful Sunday School lesson about Joy (Love) given by Brother McCombs, and a wonderful Relief Society Lesson taught by Daysha Lassiter on the talk from Conference about looking up. By the end of any give Sunday I don't usually remember who gave what talk - or what the main point of each was about, but I definitely did yesterday! And still remember it today!!!! ^_^ God is soOO good! :)

I'm grateful for the enjoyable dinner we had with the Missionaries. I'm grateful for their desire to discuss with Jessie what he's reading. Such desire that Elder Adriano went out of his way to read Esther just because Jessie was and is going to read Job because that's where Jess is reading. Love our missionaries! It's a pleasure to hear Jess enjoying discussion about subjects (spirituality/scripture) that are so very dear to my heart!

I'm thankful Ria's tooth finally came out. It's been loose way too long and after much work on it, I finally yanked it out myself after Jess and Ria were sort of bickering off and on about it. Hate to hurt my girl, but SO glad her adult teeth now have more of the room they need to grow in straight-ish.

I'm grateful for the amazing and so short workout I enjoyed. I'm in a 14 day boot camp (following guidelines from the program) and today was only day 2. I'm excited about it because of how wonderful I feel after SUCH short workouts and the even shorter back stretch that I'm striving to do at the beginning and end of my days. There have already been some really pronounced (to me) changed/effects from it. Love it!

Monday, November 28, 2011: I'm thankful for a rough night's sleep which reveals to me how well I slept the few days before that! :)

I'm grateful for my girls' improvements in self-accomplishment/self-motivation as a result of this token system the Lord brought into my life. It's SUCH a blessing! I'm so thankful for the exponentially increased statements I get to hear from my girls like, "You are the BEST Mama in the whole world!" God is truly GOOD!!!

I'm grateful for my workout and back stretch time. I feel so thankful for this exercise program in my life. Truly blessed!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the blessing of Visiting Teaching! I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to get to know some really wonderful women better. I'm so thankful for the way the Lord provides for me! ^_^ I'm grateful for the work Jessie did at our house while I was gone with Jimmy to a Visiting Teaching appointment! I'm grateful for the great workout today. (I'm on day 4 of this new "boot camp" I'm doing, which will last another 10 days. It's not as difficult as I really expected. YEAY!

Wednesday, November 30, 2011: I'm thankful forquiet days at home. I'm grateful for the whispers of the Holy Spirit, which remided me that we had 4H tonight. I was able to put the final touches together for my first time conducting our meeting. ^_^ I'm also thankful for another day of my wonderful workout. Didn't sweat as much today, but I think that has more to do with the cold in the house than anything else.

To Store Cans

2011-11-29T18:09:00.000-05:00

I found a neat resource for storing cans, the ones you buy at the grocery store, if you have a lil' money to spend. And I do mean a LITTLE. Nice, right?

If you don't have any money, but you have some cardboard, I think you could still make one. HERE is one example. You can find full directions HERE and the diagram HERE! ^_^ I'm hoping to try it out myself!

Thankful Thursday, Week of November 17 - 23, 2011

2011-11-25T19:48:00.000-05:00

Thursday, November 17, 2011: I'm thankful for a good day; mostly peaceful. I'm grateful for many little jobs accomplished by Jessie during the time he was home today. Things I could do, probably, but can't seem to get to because of all the other things I must do. I'm grateful for his willingness to be helpful.

I'm grateful for the restfulness of most of the day. I'm grateful for what Ria and I were able to accomplish on the patio tonight and what we hope to accomplish over the next few days or so. I'm grateful for the amazing workout, with which I started my day. I've ordered the full thing. What I've been doing (today and yesterday) is only snippets on a website and YouTube... amazing workout in broken up pieces... I look forward to seeing what I will experience when I have them all together with complete understanding of HOW to do them! I'll let you know what it is and how it's going after I've had a bit more experience with the real deal... hopefully it'll get here faster than the 7-10 business days! *sigh*

I'm grateful for the opportunity and blessing of being able to help a friend with a haircut. She has beautiful hair and trusted her long tresses in my hards. I'm hopeful she continues to feel happy with it cause it was a joy to help her. The payment which followed is a blessing, too, but hard to accept graciously because I just loved helping my friend so much!
I continue to feel grateful for the trial of a very painful breast slight case of Mastitis... slight because the fever is VERY low and I'm not flat on my back!). I'm trying to be thankful in/for ALL things. I'm not sure what I should learn from this particular trial, but I am trying to be thankful regardless. :)

Friday, November 18, 2011: I'm thankful for peaceful days. I'm grateful my girls are happy to help me in many ways and even come to me saying, "What can I do for you?" and then following the completion of help they have provided saying, "You're the best Mom in the whole world!" I'm SO grateful for the book the Lord sent into my life via one of my temple angels, which has helped to bring about this gift of good behavior and happy hearts!

I continue to be thankful for the amazing "secret" exercise I'm still doing via tidbits I've been able to piece together. I may go back to Tamilee Webb tomorrow just for some variety, but look forward to receiving the full workouts I've ordered. Early birthday present. And since I haven't had one (cause I couldn't think of anything I'd actually like), the expense is really minimal... but a lot if I just look at the numbers. *sigh* I'm glad Jessie is happy to give me what I'd like to have. It's rare enough that I actually desire any THING, that's for sure. :)

Saturday, November 19, 2011: I'm thankful for Saturdays; the special day, the day we get ready for Sunday. :) I'm grateful for an awesome workout with my "secret" find. I've got the sweat running rivers down my body and I love it! And in only a FEW minutes!!!!

I'm grateful for life, for my children and the amazing wonders that each of them are!

Sunday, November 20, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet morning at home with Ria and Jimmy while Tea, Kat, and Daddy went to church. I'm not "glad" per se, that we were home, but we ended up having a very nice morning just the three of us. By the end (only 3 hours because they missed most of Sacrament meeting), though, Ria and I were a bit lonely for the rest of the gang!

I'm grateful for the time and ability to make a nice family meal to eat upon their return. And a pumpkin pie made from real pumpkin (baked and scraped by moi) to enjoy together after quiet time.

I'm grateful for the unexpected visit from the missionaries. It was a really great visit and I have hope that Jessie is now acting on a "challenge" they/I made him to read more Bible at each reading. Here's hoping! ;)

Monday, November 21, 2011: I'm thankful for children who try to behave well all the time. They (as I) fail miserably at times, but they try SO hard. I'm so grateful for them!

I'm thankful for a great short workout from my "secret" source. ^_^ I look forward to receiving what I have ordered so I can get some experience with the actual workout and share what I've found if it's as wonderful as it already seems!

Tuesday, November 22, 2011: I'm thankful for my brother Josh. He was a bit of a pain in the neck when we were kids. ;) I was sorta jealous of his cocky confidence and lack of concern about the threats our parents made.. okay, truth: I was seriously jealous. Fast Forward to now... I'm not jealous anymore. I'm just happy for him! He's become (and becoming) an amazing man who is an inspiration! He is a really hard worker. He is loving, kind and super helpful. He is service oriented, obedient to the principles and precepts that matter most. He is a righteous Priesthood holder and a strong Spiritual Leader, striving to be better, for his family and in his Ward. He is a GOOD person always trying to be better. I love him and want to say: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! I hope it's a wonderful day for you and yours!!!

Wednesday, November 23, 2011: I'm thankful for a relaxing and productive day. I was so busy from morn until night that I didn't get my exercises in. It's been more difficult, too, since I stopped just leaving Jimmy with Jess. I'm going to ask him to step back in as baby-care provider so I can get the sweat flowin' again. I definitely need it!

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 15 - , 2011

2011-11-22T06:14:00.000-05:00

Thursday, December 15, 2011: I'm thankful for a hubby who will do the grocery shopping when either I and/or the kiddos are ill. I'm grateful for my "secret" workout and the bits I do to start and end my day, which help so much! I'm grateful that we have a little money to spend for Christmas and hopeful that I'll be able to get out and do some Thrift Store shopping SOON. (I was planning to do some today, but ended up sick instead.) I'm grateful for Heavenly Father's Plan of Salvation and Happiness and for my growing understanding of His Ways! God is AWESOME!

Friday, December 16, 2011: I'm thankful for my birthday. It was a peaceful day spent with my family. Jessie even had the evening off (we thought we would be going to my Church Social, but since the kiddos and I were sick, we stayed home). I'm grateful for 36 years in this beautiful life.

Saturday, December 17, 2011: I'm thankful for a restful day at home in which to heal.

Sunday, December 18, 2011: I'm thankful for another restful day at home. I'm grateful for this time to realize how much nicer it is to be well. ^_^

Monday, December 19, 2011: I'm thankful for returning health.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011: I'm thankful for the time we were able to spend as a family as well as the opportunity I was able to go Visiting Teaching with only JMy in tow. I enjoy the decreased responsibility for 2 hours. I sure love coming home to my sweet girls after the time away! There are some who have made it known that they think I'm a little bit nuts, but I miss them if I'm gone for 2 hours or more! I'm so very VERY grateful for the Mother-heart our Lord is blessing into me!!! It's such a change and SUCH a joyous one!

Wednesday, December 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to go Christmas shopping with help from my Ward. We were blessed with some gift certificates and I was able to get each of our girls the one thing they asked for (and a little more)! ^_^ God is SO good to us! Even amid the trials, which, lest you think they are absent, I declare have been coming hard and fast and thick and heavy... even amid them God is mindful, He is providing, and even IN the trials He blesses me and mine. I'm SO grateful!!!

Pride; the most insidious of sins

2011-11-21T13:05:00.000-05:00

I really believe Pride is the root of all evil. It shoots out all kinds of different sins, but if you look back to where the sin came from, it seems like Pride is always at the root of the problems.

Misfit Cignet is one of the blogs I read pretty regularly. She's written some really thought provoking posts and the one I read most recently is, to me, all about Pride. In it, she's actually writing about all the ways that we may, as humans, try to DO things that are righteous for those in observation of us to see and notice our righteousness. See, it's all about pride.

Anyway... I've been thinking about her post, and about pride generally, a lot and seeing problems with pride in little things. Yet even though they may be "little" the problem is still there; and so I must get back to business and so some weeding. I've thought, off and on, that I don't have to worry about pride; "I've got that handled now," I might think for a day or so. But then I only have only to hear a talk, read a Christ-centered blog post, read an Ensign article or some other God-focused, Christ-centered something and I realize that I DO have more to work on. The problem area may require me to dig a little deeper to see the insidious blackness of Pride on my soul, which I haven't yet weeded out.

And so it is never ending. Thankfully, the Lord is Love and desires me; in all my weakness! Bless His Holy Name for wanting a sinner such as I am!

Making Soap

2011-11-19T14:47:00.000-05:00

So, I've been making our laundry soap again for the past few weeks. Instead of doing a liquid soap, I've gone to making it dry. It's much more time efficient for me and I like using it this way, too. I was worried, I must admit, that I might have clumping problems or something similar, because we don't have hot water to our washing machine, but no such problems have come about. YEAY!

As I've been using my MOSTLY homemade laundry detergent, I've wondered how much more enjoyable I might feel the accomplishment if I'd produced the soap for my laundry detergent. I've wanted to make homemade bar soap for a while, but hever had all the equipment and got stuck there. No equipment = no project realization. Well, this is still a reality, but I've begun to invest in what I don't have, but need, to make bar soap at home. My first investment purchase is lye. I do hope, some day, to try my hand at making my own lye from hard wood ash... but I think that experiment is best saved for a day when more of my little ones are not quite so little! :) So, I've purchased some lye. Along with the purchase, I've become an affiliate for the company that sells the lye I've purchased (which is food grade, so I could also make pretzels and bagels with it! Those should be some exciting experiments! ^_^). So, if you have a desire to venture into the world of soap-making, not just melting and molding premade soaps, I hope you'll purchase the lye you'll need via my Affiliate banner! :)

Thankful Thursday Week of November 10 - 16, 2011

2011-11-16T17:41:00.000-05:00

Thursday, Novemeber10, 2011: I'm thankful for the short workout I enjoyed with Tamilee Webb this morning. I've decided I'm not going to feel too baddly about missing yesterday because one of the Apostles in the New Testament (I believe it was Paul) basically said we shouldn't spend too much time exercising... I'm not spending TOO much time, thankfully. But I missed yesterday because of our temple trip and, I think, that is truly more important in the long-term scheme of things! :)

I'm grateful for all that I've been able to accomplish today. I'm grateful Jessie was willing to go on a Daddy-daughter date with Kat instead of what we'd previously discussed. She LOVED it!! I'm grateful he went, for that date, out to pick up some papers I needed and dropped some mail for me. SO much more was accomplished this way than I could've done on my own!

Friday, November 11, 2011: I'm thankful for a good workout with Tamilee Webb. Short, but great.

I'm thankful for a quiet day at home in which I felt restful and happy. Ria and I worked on some crochet class. I got some calling and emailing done for my Calling. I read some of my most recent study books. Jimmy stayed busy and happy, crawling around, napping, giggling... after the scare on Tuesday, I'm just happy he's here. ^_^

Saturday, November 12, 2011: I'm thankful for a good short workout with Tamilee Webb.

I'm grateful for a restful Saturday. I'm happy and thankful that Jimmy seems to be doing better (seemed like he was getting the cold stuff back) after a long nap. And I'm feeling better, too (felt poorly upon waking up this morning, but better after napping a little with him).

Sunday, November 13, 2011: I'm thankful for great talks at church! They were especially wonderful to me... Bro. Larson's talk in particular.

Monday, November 14, 2011: I'm thankful for a good workout with Tamilee Webb. I'm grateful for a smooth delivery of collected foods (representing much service by Ria, others, and me) for a funeral AND for an easy drop-off of cookies made by Ria for a dear friend. I'm grateful for the rest I partook of while Jimmy napped. I've been more tired lately and hoping I can just stay WELL. Too much to do to be ill.

Tuesday, November15, 2011: I'm thankful for a short workout with Tamilee Webb. I'm grateful Jessie was willing and able to do lots of errands as a Daddy-daughter date with Ria. Kat and Tea each got turns in the last couple weeks. Ria was SO excited for hers. And EXTRA excited when she heard about all they would be doing, which she knew meant she'd get an extra long date! So sweet!

I'm grateful for the opportunity to enjoy hearing and observing how well Kat and Tea enjoy time together. I'm grateful for Jimmy's independence and dependence. He sure is growing up and SO busy when he's not tired! :)

I'm thankful for my Visiting Teachers!

Wednesday, November 16, 2011: I'm thankful for the amazing workout I did this morning. I believe the Lord took me on another "walkabout" in the internet last night, which culminated in finding a new workout. There are very few snippets available online, but I did all of them this morning. The total was around 12 minutes, I think, and I was sweating rivers! AMAZING! I'll share WHAT if I continue to experience these workouts in this way. :)

I'm thankful Jessie was home today. I awoke with a VERY tender breast and feeling slightly woozy in my head. I'm grateful he was home so I could rest a bit more than usual this morning and then exercise without worrying about Jimmy. I'm hoping the exercise will help my body heal faster than it otherwise might. I'm grateful for this newest difficulty. I'm certain it is here to teach me something about myself or life... Hopefully I'll understand the lesson!

Thankful Thursday, Week of December 8 - 14, 2011

2011-11-14T21:11:00.000-05:00

Thursday, December 8, 2011: I'm thankful for electric ovens. We are so blessed with such conveniences that our forebearers did not have!

I'm thankful for the blessing of friends with whom to celebrate. I'm so very happy for a sweet family who has been able to adopt a baby (their first) and the wonderful celebration we all enjoyed because of their new addition.

I'm thankful for my great workout, which I can fit in right before things and still have time for a shower! I love it. I'm going to increase my time to the 45 minute workout in a few weeks. Feeling sort of nervous about that, but I'm absolutely sure I'll be able to get quite fit and strong in the time I desire with the increased sweat time. ^_^

Today was weigh-in and measurements day! I've lost another 5.5 inches. That brings me up to 12 and 3/4 inches lost. I went down 1 pound on the scale, too. One pound may not seem like that much, BUT I am nursing VERY often and still JMy's primary source of nourishment... and he is an ACTIVE bubby! So, I'm quite okay with slow pounds loss, as long as the inches continue to show improvement (shrinkage). ^_^

Friday, December 9, 2011: I'm thankful for lunch dates and the gift of getting to know a neat person better. I'm grateful she enjoys my children! I was able to bring Jessie a McRib sandwich, probably one of his favorite foods; since we got to eat there, he should. Right?

I'm thankful for quiet times at home!

I finished my 14 day boot-camp today. YEAY! And it wasn't too difficult and the results... AWESOME! My Ria wrapped her arms around me and declared in surprise, "You've shrunk, Mama! My hands can almost touch and they used to be really far apart!" heeheehee I SO look forward to the day that she will grab hands around me and I know that day is not far away. ^_^

Saturday, December 10, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home. I'm grateful for thoughtful gifts from neighbors. I'm grateful for surprise visits from friends at just the right time. I was stressed about something and their visit helped me relax quite a lot. I'm grateful for my sweet children and their big hearts and desire to help.

Sunday, December 11, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift and blessing of being a Visiting Teacher. I got to help one of my sweet sisters today! I'm so HAPPY to be able to help!!!

I'm grateful for Sabbath days; nourishment via the bread that never molds and the fountain of pure water that truly quenches thirst!; time to read commentaries on an unfamiliar to most parable; and time to study some of Revelations. WHAT an amazing book of Scripture!

I continue to feel so grateful for the gift and blessing of the amazing workout I'm enjoying. I'm in my every-other-day of it now.

Monday, December 12, 2011: I'm thankful for good days to accomplish little things and enjoy a missionary departure open-house and the opportunity to teach my girls to celebrate things even though they may repeat innumerable times; but to find the wonder and magic in each time. The joy of living and being a Mama!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011: I'm thankful for temple trips. I'm so grateful Jessie takes time from work and other possible activities to go so our whole family can be together... AND let me go inside for a bit.

I'm grateful for the fever and cough Kat has come down with after our trip. Not sure what I'm thankful for yet, but from every trouble there is always something good that comes along with or soon after it. Even illness. I certainly wouldn't plan for her to GET sick, but trying to be grateful when it comes around somehow makes it easier to bear when it does.

I'm thankful for friends and good conversations.

I'm thankful for the wonderful exercise program I've been working with. It's awesome and continues to bless my life.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011: I'm thankful for Visiting Teachers! On of my Visiting Teacher came to visit this morning and what a pleasure! I'm so grateful to them for taking time out of their lives to spend with me!

I continue to feel grateful for the workout program the Lord led me to and the effects it is bringing to my body and mind! I get to take my measurements and weigh myself tomorrow. :) I've never been quite so excited about such things. I started to do the tummy exercises since the last time, so I'm guessing it's made some difference (Ria has certainly said it has). ^_^

Thankful Thursday Week of November 3 - 9, 2011

2011-11-10T16:40:00.001-05:00

Thursday, November 3, 2011: I'm thankful for a short workout with Tamilee Webb. I "slept in" until 8am this morning and couldn't make room for a longer workout, but enjoyed what I could do.

I'm grateful for time at home to get things in order and enable my sick-y kiddos to get some rest.

Friday, November 4, 2011: I'm thankful for another short workout with Tamilee Webb. I'm seeing a trend. Jess had to go to work earlier than normal, so I had to rush through my workout. *sigh* Life is getting in the way. I'm beginning to see the truth of what Sage told me a few years ago, "You just have to get it in before the kids wake up, or there's no way to get it in." She was referring to exercise (her choice was running) and now I'm beginning to understand how she truly IS her name in yet another way.

I'm grateful for another quiet day at home. Hopefully the rest the children are getting will enable them to overcome this cold/snotty nose/cough stuff. It's old already.

Saturday, November 5, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout, though again short, with Tamilee Webb. I was in bed later than normal because of feeling cruddy. My head was stuffy and feel VERY sluggish. Jess was off to work before 6am this morning. That is getting old, too! I'm thankful that he has a joy, but not happy that the hours are still up over 70 per week. grrr The girls are starting to behave in ways that reveal their need for Daddy-time.

I'm grateful for quiet time! I was able to rest and nap during quiet time today and felt mildly improved upon getting up. I'm grateful Tea, Jimmy, and Kat actually slept some during quiet time today! I needed the down time!

Sunday, November 6, 2011: I'm thankful for the dimished headache I woke up with. The less pain enabled me to prepared food that needed fixin. I'm also grateful for Jessie's willingness to take Ria and Kat to church while Jimmy, Tea, and I stayed home feeling crummy.

Monday, November 7, 2011: I'm thankful for the good workout with Tamilee Webb. Unfortunately just the 20 minute-er... but still sweaty, so that's good. This begins my 11th week of exercising 6 days of the week... I'm SO trying to keep this momentum going. I know I cannot on my own, so I give Glory to God for supporting me and enabling me in this worthy effort. I KNOW ALL good comes of Him!!! Praise God for His Love and Enabling power!

I'm grateful for the gift of time at home. It's such a blessing to have time to spend working on the things that always need to be done around here.

I'm gloriously pleased and happy AND oh, SO thankful for a small mercy and blessing: the laundry has now been caught up and quite orderly for more than three weeks! I'm excited about this small thing because Jimmy isn't even 8 months old and it is where it is. This is NOT normal for me. In the past, my earliest at getting THAT managed after a baby joined our family was around a year!! So... the fact that it has been in order for the whole month of his 7th month with us... pretty spectacular. Just so you know what is so great to me, I'll specify: laundry is washed and put away daily. This means, to me, that there is nothing on the floor of the laundry room when I go to bed at night. Of course, Jessie's work clothes end up there, but that's after I'm in bed for the night. I allow whites to remain in a basket and still count my job "caught up" because it #1 it takes a WHILE before just whites grow to be a enough to make a load and #2 when they are clean, it's mostly my "underwear" and Jessie's socks which comprise this part of the laudry and those are a huge deal if they are wrinkly. ^_^ So, I'm really happy about this!!! Rejoice with me over this small miracle and mercy! I hope you will!! ^_^

Tuesday, November 8, 2011: I'm thankful for the good workout with Tamilee Webb. Another short one, but got the sweat rollin! ^_^

I'm grateful for the blessing of gardening with a friend! It's been such a blessing in my life to have this time to serve once each week for a few weeks now. :)

I'm grateful for trials which show me who I reall am and how far I really need to go... And I'm especially thankful for miracles.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011: I'm thankful for the family temple trip we enjoyed today. I'm grateful Jessie went even though he was feeling poorly and enabled me to go in for a few minutes to put names on the prayer rolls. Even just a few minutes in the temple is wonderful! And my children got to spend a few minutes in the temple with me, as per our usual (to go to the restroom).

I'm sorry to report that I did not work out today. So, I must end my count at 10 weeks straight of exercising 6 days of the week. I'll still exercise tomorrow through Saturday, all things remaining equal. Just have to start at 1 on Monday. *sigh*

Testimony

2011-11-06T16:48:00.001-05:00

I didn't get to go to church today because of illness among us. So, instead of going up in front of my Ward Family, I'm going to bear/share my testimony here. :)

I know God lives and loves me, and you, and everyone... and loves us all the same... for being just who we are. I know that Heavenly Father is truly the Father of my Spirit, and your Spirit, and everyone here on earth who has a Spirit. I know that He loves us simiarly to, just WAY more than, the way I love my children.

When I was pregnant with Ria I didn't "feel" love for her... not really. I was excited, nervous, even scared. But I didn't FEEL love for her. I didn't even know she was a she until she was born (we're funny like that... no checking on gender in utero, thank you! ^_^). But as soon as she was born I knew I was in love forever! You see, I was absolutely sure that I would be horribly dissappointed if I had a girl instead of the boy I thought I wanted; I would cry. Well, I didn't cry a single tear after Ria was born. Not a tear of disappointment, not a tear of joy... not a single tear. But I did feel this amazing and full-to-the-top-and-bustin-over feeling of elation. I found that the little person I'd been growing was a girl and I was full and overflowing with JOY! Pure, unadulterated JOY and LOVE. I knew that she was perfect and that I couldn't have loved a boy more than I loved who I had. And that, my friends, is only a fraction of the way God loves us! How AMAZING!!! If you haven't had a child, I cannot convey to you how amazing and wonderful this is. If you have... well, you know it! :) What a gift to be loved Perfectly MORE than THAT by our Father in Heaven, right!!?

And no matter what my Ria does... sure I get frustrated and feel disappointed and even angry at times (I'm imperfect!)... but no matter what she does (or Kat, or Tea, or Jimmy, or anyone else who may join our family)... no matter WHAT, I'm always going to love her/them! How could I stop? I love them just because! I mean, as soon as they came forth out of my body I was in love! And this amazing feeling has helped me understand the truth of the phrase in the Bible that says, "and we love him because he first loved us (though this is probably not a perfect quotation)." My children love me because I first love them... so similar to God's Love for us... yet SO much less. It's awesome, though, isn't it!??

So, I know that Heavenly Father is the literal Father of our Spirits. I know a tiny fraction of how He loves me. I do not yet comprehend, though, the magnitude of His sacrifice in allowing Jesus Christ to fulfill His purpose in the Atonement. I cannot imagine having to leave my child (ANY of them) when they are in the most gruelingly painful part of their life.... But God did that for us. He allowed and enabled Christ to fulfill the Atonement so that we may be One. So that we may return to His presence to live for eternity. What an awesome and amazing gift! I can think it, but I cannot understand! God so love us....

I'm grateful for the Atonement. I have committed some doozies... I am a horrible sinner. But Heavenly Father is always there for me... for us. No matter what we do. He loves us and is willing and ready to allow the Atonement to clean us of our stain. What a tremendous gift and blessing! I'm so grateful. I'm SO grateful to KNOW it!!!!

Heavenly Father has restored the fullness of the Gospel of Christ on the earth today. The Apostacy foretold by the Apostles in the Bible occurred. The fulness of Christ's Gospel (including Priesthood authority) was removed from the earth. Joseph Smith was the instrument through whom God the Father and our Savior Jesus Christ restored the fullness of the Gospel of Christ to the earth. We are blessed to live in a day when we have the Bible so easily accessible; so readily available. AND we have the Book of Mormon to confirm the truths in it... we are not reliant upon man's interpretation (which could go in SO many directions) of the Bible alone. The Book of Mormon adds another witness to the truths taught us and available to us in the Bible. What a gift! It is true! It testifies of Jesus Christ, born in Bethlahem to Mary. Joseph acted as his mortal father, but God was and is the Father of His Spirit AND body! God has said by the mouth of two or three witnesses He will establish His truth. So, it makes perfect sense to me that He would use the words from prophets originating in two totally seperate peoples (but of the same house, originating from the same people of the Covenant) to verify what He would have us know. And what a gift and blessing it is to see how totally true it is that He is the same and speaks the same truths regardless of WHERE the people are to whom He speaks!

I'm grateful for the knowledge I have been blessed with about Christ's Gospel. I'm grateful for the Grace Father God has given me which enables me to do all that I do which is right. I'm grateful to know the truth about the duality and Oneness of God the Father and Jesus Christ... and to know that the Holy Ghost is a part, yet not, of the God head. I'm so grateful for the witness of the Holy Spirit that I have felt about all these truths and continue to feel about other aspects of truth associated with the Gospel of Christ as taught in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I'm so grateful for God's Love. I'm so grateful for the Atonement our Savior made for me... for you... for us! I'm SO grateful!

I share this in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Food Storage Analyzer

2011-11-03T15:17:00.000-04:00

Although I haven't written about my desire and efforts toward food storage recently, I do still have great desire to build a strong food storage program for my family. We are NOT there yet. Winning the Traditional Year Supply of 2000 calories for one person certainly gave a huge lift to my hopes that we might be able to get all we need gathered together. With that great gift of winning that contest, I've thought that we might be around 2 months of food storage for our family of 6. This was not based on anything... just a guess.

Well, guessing is no longer necessary because Emergency Essentials has a food storage caluclator! It's really easy to use, though maybe a little time consuming if we're not pretty sure of what we have for food storage. If you have a list of all you have in your food storage, it will be a lot easier for you to use this tool. Even if you have to devote some time to it, though, I think the time you spend will be a good investment. It's rather comforting to see where we stand, as far as the coloric intake for our family which is stored, in our food storage program.

The only real drawback (other than potential time investment; if that's a drawback) is that there is no way to alter the calory counter part for each individual in your family. This is NOT that big a deal to my way of thinking, though. For instance, based on the Calorie Counter I found via a quick Google search, Ria would need right under 1700 calories per day... so, an extra 300... well, I think that's negligible AND who wouldn't want to be OVERprepared by any amount, anyway?!? :)
I recommend this tool. Let me know what you think of it after you give it a try! :)

Thankful Thursday Week of October 27 - November 2, 2011

2011-11-02T21:30:00.000-04:00

Thursday, October 27, 2011: I'm thankful for the good workout I enjoyed with Kathy Smith. Not as much sweat as my best, but got some goin'. ^_^

I'm grateful for the Host Parents I'm able to work with in my job with ICES. They are wonderful and generous and I'm so grateful that they are working so hard with our students and giving so generously of their lives!

I'm grateful for 4H! Ria LOVES it and I love it when it's at my house. That extra push to get things a little more orderly is such a blessing in my life! I've missed having it here the last few weeks!

Friday, October 28, 2011: I'm thankful for a good sweaty workout with Susan Powter (and I added in weights). Got nice and sweaty... earliest wake up day in a while today: right before 6am! :)

Happy BIRTHDAY to one of my ICES Exchange Students! I hope it's a great day for Ida!

Saturday, October 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout with Tamilee Webb this morning. Did only one of the vedeos (normally do two), but still got a little sweaty. Nice. :)

I'm grateful for the opportunity I had to meet with my two ICES Foreign Exchange students. It was a pleasure to see them in real life again and hear about all they are doing. What a blessing to get to know them a little better.

I'm grateful for the Harvest Festival/Trunk or Treat party this afternoon. Jess prepared three pigs at his work (THANKS TO Mr. SAM for donating space in his smokers, which includes the woods chips and energy to smoke them AND was willing to donate the seasonings and spices in the rub on the pigs, but which we not much used because the pigs were of such high quality!!!). We enjoyed that meat at the Harvest Festival/Trunk'R Treat. What a tremendous and unigue part of a pot luck meal!!

Sunday, October 30, 2011: I'm thankful for church. I'm thankful for lunch, which was mostly prepared by Jess. I'm thankful for baptisms and my Ria's great desire to prepare for hers by attending others' special days! I'm thankful I was able to get to sleep really early for me and sleep well through the night.

Monday, October 31, 2011: I'm thankful for a good workout with Tamilee Webb. Another 'only' 20 minute-er, but still very good. Jimmy was awake and crying. Must answer or Daddy becomes unhappy.

I'm grateful for days to be at home, learn, pay bills, make plans, and maybe... DARE I hope... do some decorative painting I wanna do for my home to feel more like what I want it to be... not so cold and un-me. :)

Tuesday, November 1, 2011: I'm thankful for a good 1.5 workouts with Tamilee Webb. (the .5 comes from the last video on my VHS tape ending mid-way in because the tape ran out) GOOD sweat on today.

I'm grateful for the blessing of and opportunity to garden with a friend today. Working in her yard helps me feel more motivated to work in my own! And spending time in service always provides a nigh on magical uplift for the rest of the day. God is MAGNIFICENT in the way He has put together this amazing system of Love, Faith, and Hope! :)

Wednesday, November 2, 2011: I'm thankful for a good, albeit short, workout with Tamilee Webb. I woke up later than I have since I switched to first-thing-in-the-morning workouts... 8am! So, not eough time for a double workout. ahwell... Still got sweaty. :)

I'm grateful for the blessing of our little 4H group. It's a gift to me in two ways. 1: the girls look forward to their friends coming over very much and enjoy the visitors. 2: I look forward to having friends and their children over and feel just a tab bit more motivated, so am able to get the house a little bit more orderly than I get it EVERY day. So... it's easier to get there because it's happening every week AT LEAST once! ^_^ LOVE it! We made wonderful spiders on a stick tonight. A great addition to the Fairy Garden project I have in mind for my girls. Since we already have a "visiting fairy" anyway... we might as well develop a garden area for her! ;)

Gardening

2011-11-01T07:39:00.000-04:00

So, if you read my TT posts each week, you already know I've been working in my yard. But I really haven't posted about it as much as I 'could' because I've been too busy and caught up in other things to post much more than the TT. I'm thinking about changing that for a little while, at least.

I've got one SFG that is up and going. It's got HUGE cucumber, pumpkin, zuchinni, radishes, carrots, peppers, and tomatoes growing now. I'm hoping so much for good produce from these plants. It is QUITE easy to grow big and green plants (at least for me), here in FL. The challenge is getting anything to complete the growing cycle and nourish my family. This is really only my third try... and the second wasn't much of a try. But still. It can get discouraging to have all that lovely green and nothing above the ground to eat.

For whatever reason, I'm also successful at growing root crops. This past success gives me great hope for the garlic I've already got growing in half-barrels (given to me a few weeks ago). I also started another bed. I don't have the surround material I would prefer, so I've just got some boundary wood to outline the area. So far I've got one big load of manure and a couple bags of leaves spread out in there.

Those leaves were a story. Apparently I was wrong when I told my Sister and her Husband that the fire ants down here do NOT all bite at the same time. They do. I discovered this after I dropped a bag of leaves into the bed and found lots of specks on my shirt. Upon closer investigation, I realized that the specks were ants. All biting me in concert. Thankfully it was really my shirt, not ME. But still. Alarming realization!

In addition to this work in my existing and to create a new food garden bed, I've also been working on weeding in my driveway and a front garden area. The driveway is barely discernable as such because of all the weeds/grass growing on/in it. :( The progress is REALLY slow and because I've not been as diligent as I should, new weeds are coming up where I've previously cleared weeds out. This is definitely going to challenge laundry for the title of "most difficult and never-ending task"!!!! Seriously. But... it's enjoyable work that I can do while the children run around and play... all except Jimmy who sits and/or crawls around eating rocks, leaves, dirt, and grass. He is DEFINITELY a boy! :)

The front garden area already has a gardenia bush, two full-size rose plants, one mini-rose plant, and two annoying little trees. I'm going to dig those up shortly. I just don't like them and they are prickly in an unavoidable sort of way... not good for kiddos around. I've only got one little area started there. My goal and dream for that area is to plant all kinda of edible flowers. To this point, the only things I plan on planting will be edible and medicinal plants. I'm VERY excited about this plan and hope it will come together over the next couple years. The seed purchasing is the difficult part. Time I have. Money... not so much. So, I'm leaving it to the Lord. :)

I'm planning to update here with my progress in my garden more regularly. It's going to be an adventure. I hope you'll enjoy hearing about it. And, someday... there will hopefully be some pictures to help you see my words more clearly! :)

What If...

2011-10-30T15:13:00.001-04:00

What if...

What if life is a test?

What if God is with us every step?

What if change is the path to Godliness?

What if pain is simply a fire on the way to purity?

What if suffering is necessary to understand who God truly is?

What if torment is merely a synaptical firing in the brain that I can choose to ignore?

What if being broken enables Larger Hands to create what was meant to be in the first place?

What if becoming who we are meant to be means leaving behind who we already thing we are?

What if drowning in despair opens eyes and unstops ears and births a new-to-Spirit being?

What if struggle is really the point because THAT is what will make us strong enough?

What if relationships are all that really matter in this experience we call life?

What if knowledge is the only thing we can take with us to the next?

What if endings are merely doorways into new beginnings?

What if hopes must die to birth the truth?

What if I had to end to be His?

What if...

Thankful Thursday Week of October 20 - 26, 2011

2011-10-27T09:33:00.001-04:00

Thursday, October 20, 2011: I'm thankful for the wonderful workout I enjoyed with Tamilee Webb. My legs were still a little achey from yesterday's workout with her and today they are wound even tighter! What a tremendous workout! Tighter Assets... I'm hoping it comes (the title to reality). ^_^

I'm grateful for the amazing planning of our Father in Heaven that goes into the smallest details. A friend of mine thought about bringing over some groceries to me and my lil' family on Wednesday night after she found out we'd been feeling ill. The gift would've been wonderful, but under the circumstances, it is even more awesome. You see, last night I was trying to get together an extended meal plan using all of the items in our pantry that I could so that I could try NOT to go grocery shopping until November 1st. This is a big deal because I've never EVER been good at seeing "bare-looking" shelves or cupboards. Why should I need to? Well, because it's important to be able to do difficult things. So, planning out meals for more than a week AND seeing bare shelves... well, I just felt like I should be doing it. Also, I'm trying to "catch up" in a way financially. I've been spending the money from each paycheck on various parts of our budget, including food. Well, this makes me uncomfortable. I'd prefer to spend last week's income on this week's groceries. If that makes sense. Really, I'd rather have money on hand from way back to pay for it... but I'm working on baby steps here. And, although it may not seem like it to many, it's a good step for me/us.

Anyway... I completed the just more than 2 weeks of meal plans this morning. And then my friend brings more groceries that I often buy for a week... and DEFINITELY more meat items!!! Especially since I'm trying to move our family toward eating more in accordance with the Word of Wisdom, I think these groceries will last quite a while! And even if we end up going through them quickly... it's SUCH a blessing to have a full freezer and fewer empty-looking shelves! My friend has blessed us and I'm SURE she was inspired of the Lord to do it and able to do it when she did because the Lord wanted me to complete the exercise I was working on in creating the extended meal plan. God IS Great!!!!

Friday, October 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the Yoga workout I was able to complete this morning. I needed that stretch!

I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend at home. I was working much of the morning on ICES calls. Then I started working on a meal to bring to a friend. Thankfully she and her family enjoyed it! I was worried as it's one of our more plain meals. She's a doll... I shouldn't have worried. ^_^

I'm glad I was able to stop by and see someone I hadn't seen since I was out in her neck of the woods. I'm also glad we got home pretty early and we were all in bed right around "on time" too! YEAY!

Saturday, October 22, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout with Tamilee Webb this morning. Today completed 8 weeks, I think... of exercising 6 days each week. Here I come, week 9! ^_^

I'm grateful for ALL we were able to accomplish today! Went out to buy chicken and rabbit feed, stopped by to see Jess at work, went home and had lunch, worked out front on some weeding in the "flower garden" area around the front door. It should be a flower garden, but mostly it's weeds, a gardenia bush, two large rose bushes, and one mini rose bush. Hopefully it'll look VERY different by this time next year! I have great plans!! ;) After a visit with Mr. Glenn (during which we found out he'd been in the hospital for a week!), we moved to the back yard to work on establishing a new garden bed and planting some lettuce seeds we just received in the mail the other day. We have SUCH plans!!! We're not just planning, though. We're also working, and praying, and hopefully we'll get MUCH produce from our efforts!

Sunday, October 23, 2011: I'm thankful for the Primary Program! The girls (Ria and Kat) LOVE Primary and enjoyed participating in the Sacrament Meeting Primary Program today. This is a special once-per-year event. My girls were asked to recite two verses (1 Corinthians 3: 16-17) together, as well as answer the questions which comprised the whole program. They did wonderfully well. They are a joy. I'm so glad they love the Lord SO much! I'm thankful for a quiet compliment given when someone asked how much weight I'd lost so far. It's nice to feel that it's visible. I'm very thankful for a quiet day at home.

Monday, October 24, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout I enjoyed with Tamilee Webb. When I have some money to spend on me (some day... maybe?) I'm going to see about buying her "Tighter Assets" videos. I recorded some of this type a number of years ago when we got TV stations and they are AWESOME. However, they are only 18-20 minutes long and I have to do 2 to feel like I got my workout on (read: the sweat really starts pouring by the beginning of the second one). Today begins week NINE of exercising 6 days each week! I can hardly believe it. Each time Monday arrives I'm amazed that I'm one number higher in this goal/effort. It doesn't feel like so much!!!

I'm grateful for a quiet day at home with FHE at Gramy and Gramy's house tonight. Life is good. I'm so grateful for it and for my family!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011: I'm thankful for my third daughter, Therisa! Tea turned 3 today! She's been saying she was 3 for almost all of her 2 year... I think, though, she's quite okay with being three, now. :) This lil' gal is quite a character. She is the developer of the "Tea Lip," which is reminiscent of the Elvis lip curl, if you can imagine THAT on a sweet cherub looking little girls face with a bob hair cut... well, then, that's my Tea. She is SMART. She LOVES to learn and constantly asks to do her "reading class" and what's most impressive to me about that is that she seems to truly understand the difference between the "M" and "S" sounds now! It should be interesting to see if she's my earliest reader. So far both Ria and Kat have been strong readers at 4 years old... Tea could totally be where they've been at 4 THIS YEAR, if she keeps on like she has been... Oh, AND I'm able to sit with her as much as she would like! ;) She is an amazing helper when she's motivated. She LOVES to eat... so when she sees that a meal is just about ready, she does something neither Kat nor Ria have done: she determines to get the eating utensils and places them at the correct places for each person to eat. And, YES!, she does put enough out for each of us! She's a DOLL, I tell you! :) And SO smart! ^_^ So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my Tea-D!!!! This Mama LOVES you!!!

I'm grateful for the workout I enjoyed with Tamilee Webb this morning. It was quite good. I'm grateful for the gift and blessing of being able to garden with a friend. We got her oasis nicely weeded... keeping the small growth under control. :) I look forward to working with her again next week! I'm grateful for the time our "adoptive" Gramy and Grampy came to spend with us for Tea's birthday meal and treat. We're instituting a new Family Tradion with regard to birthdays. We've been doing the birthday meal: choice of the birthday kid. But now we're adding a change. Instead of birthday cake and ice cream, we're doing a special birthday treat. It could be most anything, really. Today, for instance, we had butterbear a la Harry Potter-style. It was YUM. And SUCH a hit that the birthday treat tradition was a SUPER easy sell! We may (probably will) have cake and ice cream for/at the 4 year birthday parties (we have a big party every 4 years until each child is 16, then have them at 18 and 21, too). :) I do NOT feel stressed by birthdays the way other Mothers do. I love LOVE love them!

I'm grateful for the GOOD time we all enjoyed peacefully in our home before Jess went to work. I'm grateful for the good quiet time the girls had and the GOOD evening we all enjoyed. Life is GOOD!!!!!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout I enjoyed with Tamilee Webb. Got my sweat on... YEAY! ^_^

I'm grateful for the opportunity to Visit Teach a sister who is "new" on my route! She is wonderful!!! I already knew it, but it's lovely to realize new ways she's wonderful. ^_^ I'm grateful for gifts from loving friends and loans from other loving individuals! Jimmy will be a squirrel for Halloween. Jessie is just tickled about that! Can't you just imagine? Baby as squirrel, Jessie as hunter... since he does hunt and fix up squirell for us to eat... hehehehe ^_^

Prophetess

2011-10-25T17:53:00.001-04:00

I just wanted to share this post by an amazing blogger. This particular post has impacted me deeply (over the last 4-5 months). I hope you enjoy it. It's all about a little prophetess. :)

Thankful Thursday Week of October 13 - 19, 2011

2011-10-19T21:04:00.000-04:00

Thursday, October 13, 2011: I'm thankful for the blesing of being able to exercise with Kathy Smith even though Jimmy woke up. Jessie kept him entertained, which enabled me a more peaceful workout than has become normal. YEAY for blessings!

I'm thankful for the gift and blessing of the opportunity to be of service to the dear Sister in my Ward who must remain sedate (not her natural state) due to breaking her foot. She allowed me to schedule a few other ladies to work together in her garden again. We got her food garden weeded and planted up and lookin GOOD! What a pleasure. After last time, I did not make time to complete the similar tasks that need to be done at my house, but as a result of promptings I heard that went a little something like, "You can make time for her, this is good, but you must make time for you and your family. This is needful. You must provide for your family where you provide for others or your sacrifice is not appropriate."

SOOooooo... NOT only did it feel once again "SO good to do weeding with friends for this friend in need," but I also spent a good deal of time in my yard at home. I took care of some rabbit maintainance, ran off to do Visiting Teaching (she wasn't there, but still went!), went back to gardening, but at my place this time to weed and thin, began working on fire ant termination with boiling water.... I just got SO much done today!!! I'm SO grateful for the gift and blessing of service and the inspiration and determination that my work for my sweet Sister has increased (with nudges from Father God, of course) to do for myself and my own, too!!! God is AMAZING! I'm so grateful I get to go back and spend time with this Sister again and work in another part of her yard on a seed garden (for seed saving). What a gift and blessing to have this continued source of inspiration for work I need to do here, too! ^_^

Friday, October 14, 2011: I'm thankful for the exercise time doing my longer Yoga video first thing this morning. Jimmy woke up and Jessie covered that base, which was wonderful. I'm grateful for the opportunity to Visit Teach my friend I missed yesterday, today! I'm so happy and thankful that she suggested some service I might do for her AND that I was available and able to do it! What a joy to serve such an amazing and wonderful Sister!!! I'm SO thankful that she asked me!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift and blessing of being able to exercise without a fussy Jimmy (Jess has been consistently caring for our baby when Jimmy wakes up in the morning). I worked out with Gilad this morning. An older video (actually on a tape), but still a good workout. And I need/want/desire new workouts, so it fits the bill. :)

I'm grateful for the invitation to participate in the sealing of a friend of mine. Unfortunately, there was no way for Jessie to get any part of the day off today due to catering he wasn't aware of until only a few days ago.... but I went with the girls and Jimmy and spent time just hanging out on the temple grounds. Met a lovely man with his son, both of whom are Michaels... Mazur, I think... a Persian last name whatever it was. Quite neat. And he was just a lovely man. I was able to chat with Brother Pulver and his son Shay, too, since his wife was in with our friend. The girls ran around on the beautiful lawn with a new (to me) border. The girls were like, "It's been like that for a while, Mom," when I said something about it. Well, they do see it far more frequently than I since we go from parking into the temple and they go out again and walk around while I, when I go out again, am immediately looking for them.

So... temple time twice this week! What a joy! My friend kept thanking me for coming all the way for her. How could I mind?? I mean, God will work out the gas money and all, I'm sure.... He always does! And my girls got to see the temple BUSY!!! THAT made it worth it all by itself! :)

I'm grateful one of our male rabbits finally did his duty fully with one of our female rabbits. We may actually have baby rabbits hopping around in 31 days or so! How exciting! :)

Sunday, October 16, 2011: I'm thankful for the blessing of Church and partaking of the sacrament. I'm grateful for the preparation that went in to the talks given today. I'm grateful for the quiet time I enjoyed, while my family slept (even Jimmy for a tiny bit of it). I'm grateful to be alive and to have the family I have!

Monday, October 17, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout with Susan Powter (added in weights). Jimmy woke up and Jessie made breakfast while I exercised away. Not a WONDERFUL workout because, as Kat pointed out by touching my breastbone and coming away with dry fingers, I wasn't dripping sweat. But I know it was good for me.

I'm struggling with being thankful for the YUCK I felt last night and a little bit today AND the fever Jimmy has. I'm hopeful that he's getting teeth and that's all it is. Poor little guy. He's SO sweet through it. He's just a little more mellow than normal. A little more cuddly. I just don't prefer it when my kiddos are ill!

I'm thankful for the organizing work I was able to do in my home today while JMY slept through some of his fever.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011: I'm thankful for the workout with Kathy Smith. Power Push and the sweat was rolling. Yeay! :)

I'm still having a difficult time giving thanks for Jimmy's fever. I am thankful that I feel significantly better after being a bit under the weather. I'm also struggling to feel thankful for marital difficulties I/we have. But I know it is all to a purpose. Many I can see, and for them I feel much gratitude. But there is also much sadness and/or mourning.... "And it came to pass" is as true today as when the prophets of the Book of Mormon wrote it. :)

I'm grateful beyond ability to express for the wonderful visit I enjoyed with a dear friend and her daughters today. It was TIMEly!!! I was rather sad and down when she arrived and felt filled full of acceptance, peace, and even a good bit of happiness by the end of her time here! God is GREAT!!! I'm so thankful that "He is," as Jessie says, "SUCH a GOOD planner!" Praise the Lord for friends in righteousness who call us from our sins! I love you, my sweet friend!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011: I'm thankful for the AWEsome workout I enjoyed this morning working out with Tamilee Webb. A long time ago, in a faraway land, I recoded some of her workouts onto a VHS cassette. I found this gem of a video a while back... days or weeks, I'm not sure. Anyway... I decided to do it even though I couldn't remember anything about it and WOW! The sweat was pouring off me (workout clothese soaked!) and my muscles were BURNIN! So... good times! :)

I'm grateful... okay, really, I'm TRYing to be grateful that I found Tea had a fever as of this morning. I'm struggling to feel grateful for two fever babies in the house. I still have a slight one, on top of it all. I'm functioning just fine, just tiring out fast. I guess their illness is good for me(?) in that it requires me to do less. I'm definitely not going to make it to the Relief Society Activity tonight... I was so excited about it! It's a service project of making cards for our missionaries AND servicemen... *sigh* I know Father has a purpose in this Trial. I know ONE of them is to bring to my awareness how FAR I have to go in developing my Faith so that it swallows all fear. I'm disappointed in myself to find that fear is STILL such a STRONG default in my mind and heart even after all the Lord has shown me to prove His Faithfulness!

I'm grateful Tea's fever broke today. Hopefully she'll stay well now. She's so much more enjoyable as an interactive little girl, rather than the limp mass sleeping on the couch that she was all day today.

Why Everyone Should Post a Thankful Thursday Every Week

2011-10-16T17:32:00.001-04:00

It would benefit you to begin a Thankful day-of-the-week post. Certainly. Regardless of whether it's Thursday or not. But if you join with me and my sister (who started this whole thing)... and anyone else who may join us on Thursday, you'll add your voice/writing to the shining forth of the Light of Christ to that shined out by the others participating. How much greater a Light can we make by joining together? I don't know, for sure, but I can tell you about something I learned a few years ago.

I read about a "metaphysical" experiment. It was proposed that group meditation for Peace on a given day would reduce violent crime by a certain percentage, which would be attributable to the meditiation and not a deviation from the norm/mean... as part of the average. I cannot remember what the percentage aimed for was, but the peace keepers (police) believed it was unachievable. As it happens, it was not achieved, but, in fact, surpassed by a great extent (as these things go). In every way possible. The group meditation for the purpose of Peace surpassed all hopes and expectations - even of those who were hopeful and expected it to impact the stats.

What does this have to do with anything? Light is Light, my friend. Meditation with focused intent is prayer; prayer is a form of purposeful meditation. Giving THANKS is an integral part of prayer = meditation. I try to update my Thankful Thursday posts on a daily basis. This helps me review my day AND ensures that I won't forget something special and/or important that I want to include in my list of things for which I'm thankful. These moments of writing out my Thanks are little prayers, for sure. And I feel Lighter and happier when I do them... which also encourages me to desire to do it daily.

So... if each of us is shining forth a little more Light in this way daily (in addition to our regular personal prayers) and then Posting it... and then, hopefully, at least a few others read it and are uplifted and edified... the Light then has grown exponentially even when only one other person reads and feels some small amount of joy. This is LIGHT! This is the point!

If we could grow this and lots of people post Thankful Thursdays Posts in their blogs or on their Facebook pages or wherever... we're shining forth a concerted amount of Light each of us, on the same day, repeatedly. It's got cumulative power... this shining forth of Light; meditation, prayer... it builds. This is why I keep doing it... to build up the Light in our fallen world... or, maybe... at least, beat back the darkness a tiny bit here and there; week by week. ^_^ Now, should others join and invite others to join... we'll definitely shine that darkness right out. Won't you do it? It'll make you feel SO good! And this, my friend, is POSITIVE peer pressure! ;) hehehehe

Hope to hear you're posting a Thankful Thursday weekly! I'll definitely read it if you let me know. I love to rejoice with my Brothers and Sisters!

We Are One

2011-10-15T22:05:00.002-04:00

Remember how I wrote about how I used to be Ruled by Hatred? (Wow! I just read it for the first time... pretty powerful... I think God was writing for me more than I was writing on that one! ^_^) And then followed that one up a little bit later with talking about how We Become What We Hate? I just read that one for the first time since I wrote it and I got a little misty when I forgave myself... and I feel this filled up feeling cause I'm working on forgiving myself every day... cause I do something wrong (at least one thing!) every single day. I know, I'm so imperfect! *sigh* BUT like one of my friend's pointed out, perhaps I should be glad because the imperfection guarantees me a spot here on this planet... sort of. ;)

So... what's the point in bringing up those posts? Well, they pointed to something that is true, but which I didn't go into explicitly in detail. I feel like I have somewhere else, but I may simply have MEANT to do it and didn't get to it. This has been a problem I'm trying to deal with lately. My memory has been spotty again. It's a struggle. I'm so thankful, though, that Father God gives me little nudges... through Ria, or a friend on Facebook, to remind me of the more important things! I'm SO grateful for His loving guidance!

Back to the point! (See!!! I totally get sidetracked SO easily lately!)

If I become what I hate in someone else... if I used to be a hater and have become a lover... then, more than likely, I'm more like you than either of us realize. Either I was (so part of me is) or I am currently or will be at some point in the future like you. I readily acknowledge that if you are striving to any degree to be Christ's, I am not as advanced as you... and, if you know me, you'll know I'm being completely sincere when I say: I'm sure I'm not as good as you at most things, anyway! I just generally think most people I come into contact with know everything I know. When they don't know some part of it, I almost always feel surprised... and happy that I can share something! (I LOVE to teach and share and just feel a little useful... especially to those who are already friends, but ALSO to those who are yet to BE my friends! ^_^)

So, my point in writing tonight is that I wanted to share something with you. You probably TOTALLY already know about this thing, but I'm STILL so excited about it that I just want to share it ALL OVER! So... I'm going to share it in a couple of ways. First, by name. Have you heard of the Mandlebrot Set?

If not, read on. If you have scroll down until you see some REALLY big letters. :)

The Mandlebrot Set is a mathematical equation which maps/diagrams pictorally the point/skin at which chaos and order meet. I know... isn't that wiggy!?? Okay... so, my first question was (when I learned about this around a month or so ago... it's been so long, yet NO time at all!), "WHAT would such a pictoral representation look like!??" But... before you know the picture, you must know what is in the picture and it's implications.

Now... if you aren't really ready for a paradigm shift today, please move along now. If you're not ready to understand the simple yet profound statements made by Jesus Christ as recorded in the Bible (New Testament specifically) and The Book of Mormon... and simple yet profound statements made by others who understood Him... then please do NOT read further. Because if you're any kind of smart (and I'm sure you are smarter than me), this is going to rock your world.

If you're ready to look at the world differently, then feel free to proceed. :)

The picture of the MS (Mandlebrot Set) is interesting in itself. It's pretty. Neat. Abstract. But still cool.

But what you must know as you view it is that the large picture also has along it's outline various sizes of itself. And each image of itself is perfect and complete in itself. Each tiny dot of a knob on the picture is a whole MS... it repeats over and over and over....

There's more.... If you "zoom in" on the MS... onto any part of it... and you keep going far enough... you'll eventually find that you'll arrive at a point that looks exactly the same as the original you zoomed in on. And you can/could do this on any part of the MS. And you can do this over and over and over... and over again.

Oh... let me not forget one key bit of truth about this MS. If you go in and change a part of the MS... no matter how small the change... the change you make will be reflected in the WHOLE MANDLEBROT SET! You change one small thing on the original and the same thing changes in every part that is the same in every part of the whole.... Every little knobby will have the same change in/to it. The WHOLE thing changes as a result of one change wrought in one spot on the basic MS. Does this totally blow you're mind? Are you in awe and amazed? Do you get it? If you get it... and you haven't heard this before... you should be rockin at least a little. Your boat, my friend, is not the same one you entered... or, more acurately, it's the same one, it's just not what you've seen it to be before now!

So, Jesus Christ told us, "Judge not, lest ye be judged; for by what measure ye mete, it shall be measured unto you again." Not a perfect quote, I know, but the truth is intact just the same. This truth is in the MS. ?Do you see it? Do you understand??

He also said, "I am in the Father and the Father in me and the Father and I are one." Do you see the MS proves this? I truly believe that our Savior was saying this truth about Himself as a lesson for us to understand how this is truth for us also. Awesome and amazing!!! God is AWEsome!!!

Ghandi said, "Be the Change you want to see in the World." This truth is very plainly revealed/pictured in the MS. Do you see it?? Do you understand how?

Okay.... so, on to the picture. :)

This one is nice. It's quite colorful... perhaps too much so, but nice.

THIS one is more perspectives on the MS... in 4D. Very neat and reveals even more ways the picture is within the picture and beyond! :)

This last YouTube that I hope you'll watch is a bit tricky. You'll have to pop on over to it and then skip ahead to the point on the time-line and make it read: 2:20:32 and you'll see a guy with a great curly mohawk. Now, he's going to go through and share with you the things I've written. I first learned them from him, actually. It's valuable to read it and hear it because the brain sometimes takes up to 8 times of hearing/reading/learning something new to truly process it.

I'd like to ask you to avoid the rest of the movie if you are a Christian UNLESS you have the Gift of Discernment, the Gift of the Holy Ghost, and you are firm in your Faith. I ask you to avoid the rest because there is MUCH truth therein, but also MUCH that is untrue. And if you do not know how the Lord communicates with you, then you may be deceived by the whispers of the evil one's angels. Also, the philosophies of men are intermingled with truths VERY liberally. Only if you know God's Word (firm in your Faith) can you truly tell the difference between what the world/men would have you believe and what God has said is true.

So... HERE it is. The MS picture I first learned of/by/from.

What does any/all of this have to do with the posts I referenced in the beginning? Do you see it? Do you understand? We are one. What I hate in you is only a revelation of that which I hate in myself. What I love in you declares to the world what I value and cherish in you AND me. What I accept in those around me reveals what I accept in me. What I reject in you, I rejected first in me. We are little knobbies on the amazingly huge Mandlebrot Set of God. He is the division between Chaos and Order... He IS order. Chaos is held at bay by Him. We are in Him and He is in US! Yet, though this is completely true, it does not reduce the fact and truth that BOTH God the Father and Jesus Christ have bodies of flesh and bone. They do.

We are one.

WE are one.

We ARE one.

We are ONE!!!!

Praise God, we are one!

IF YOU HAVE ALREADY LEARNED ABOUT AND UNDERSTAND the Mandlebrot Set,
then you probably don't really need to read any of this post. Go ahead and continue your reading/reseraching/surfing and know that I'm SO glad you already know and I hope you'll find some ways to share the info and hopefully bring on the 100th monkey! ;) ^_^

Signed Lovingly,
Your Sister in Christ,
Tori

P.S.
If you'd like to read a blog that could possibly help you make some changes... and which inspired me to write about how we are ONE... CHECK IT OUT!

The Gift of Giving Life

2011-10-14T16:03:00.000-04:00

I'm going to be published. ^_^ Pretty neat, right? Yes. Published in an actual book: cover with pages. ^_^ The part of the book that will be me is my story of Post-Partum Depression after children and how it has decreased each time. Regardless of WHAT it is, I'll be published. Pretty sweet, right? I can just hear you asking if I'm being paid. Nope. No payment.... except that the payoff will be, for me, that I know others who suffer from PPD might feel hope as a result of knowing my story! ALL things are possible in and through Christ Jesus!!!

Do you see the linky picture thing to the right? The pretty pink one. Yep. That's it. That's the book my story may be printed in. If not there, then on the website. I'm hoping to get a copy for myself whether I'm IN the book or not. It's a lovely effort and to a good purpose. I simply don't have the funds available right now. Jess and I have prioritized our budget and "extra" expenditures (preparedness supplies). So, there's really no wiggle room for now. If someone would like to get it for me, that would be quite okay with me! ^_^

The blog for the book is WONDERFUL. I've felt awed and inspired by it (the Author!!) more than once. I highly recommend reading the blog AND buying the book! If you feel so inclined, I'd love for you to share via comment that I recommended you to them. :) I'll get nothing in particular for the recommendation, but I'd like them to know I actually DID! ^_^ That I did recommend them, I mean.

You could also check out the website. I believe you should be able to purchase the book there! ;)

Thankful Thursday Week of October 6 - 12, 2011

2011-10-13T08:19:00.032-04:00

Thursday, October 6, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift and blessing of being able to serve a Sister in my Ward who is bound to bed and stillness which is difficult for her. I'm grateful for her willingness to allow us to help. I'm grateful for a quiet afternoon at home during which I was able to workout with Denise Austin doing some Yoga.

Friday, October 7, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home. I should've gone somewhere in the afternoon, but I was feeling really bummed, so stayed home and got a few things done that have been waiting too long. I worked out with Kathy Smith in Project YOU and did the next step up from what I was doing. Didn't do it the way THEY do, but did it anyway. Felt good. :) I'm just happy to get one day closer to finishing this week with six days of exercise in it!

Saturday, October 8, 2011: I'm thankful for the blessing and opportunity of preparing for and attending a dear friend's wedding. It was a lovely evening service and our Stake President did a WONDERFUL job with it. I'm so grateful that she welcomed my little ones, which enabled me to attend. She KNOWS me by so doing! ^_^

I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend working out with Susan Powter. I was able to focus, which is what I really need to do to get the rivers of sweat runnin! It was a good workout.

Sunday, October 9, 2011: I'm thankful for an amazing a wonderful day! Today was Kat's FIFTH birthday! I can hardly believe it! My Kitty Kat is now 5. And, man was she testin her limits a few times today. She feels SO big. She told me she had a WONDERFUL birthday day. I'm so very glad! Even without a special cake made just for her, she LOVED the day. We'll do a special birthday meal (pizza, her choice) and ice cream tomorrow or another day during the week. Spread out the birthday-girl love. ^_^

I'm especially thankful to our God for preparing an amazing Fast and Testimony meeting for today. I'm grateful He made sure I was in Sunday School (studying the New Testament there this year! ^_^) so I could hear the one specific phrase I needed to hear and then for His inspiration to our Relief Society teacher to conduct the lesson she taught in just the way she did so that I was able to more profoundly understand the changes I needed to make in MY heart so that I may experience I positive change in a situation that I cannot actually change (in the world). By changing me (my perspective, reaction(s), and feelings), I change how it affects me and completely alter my experience(s) of/with it.

The testimonies, in particular, today were amazing, inspiring, and VERY touching! I am deeply grateful for the young man who exposed his heart to the core (I cried with him MUCH), for the older man who helped his daughter share, "Jesus is a good Jesus," and then continued on to talk about Jesus Christ's Love and healing Atonement. I'm grateful for the Sister who shared of her experience with the missionaries teaching an invesitgator in their home and how that investigator has helped her see how she (I) as a long-time member need to desire the Gospel of Christ in the same way that King Lamoni's Father (in the Book of Mormon) and the investigator desire(d) it: with a willingness to give up all for it. ThSuch desire is a full recognition of the Pearl of Great Price that we have in the Gospel of Christ which we ALL need to attain and then maintian! (I certainly need to maintain more than I have!!!) I encourage you to read the link to the verse (and Chapter) I've referenced above. It's awesome!

Monday, October 10, 2011: I'm thankful for family. My own little one and my extended one. I'm thankful for my brothers and sisters, neices and nephews, Mom and Dad... oh... and on the subject of nephews... I had one little guy who turned THREE today!!! My second brother's second son... turned a BIG THREE! He's a gift and blessing to his little and our larger family! HAPPY BIRTHDAY Petey!!!!

I'm grateful my Kat who told me her birthday was a wonderful day yesterday. What a soothing balm to a worry-wart Mama.

I'm grateful for the ability to workout to Yoga Booty Ballet. It was good. Got the rivers flowin and excited to workout this week to complete (since today started, I think), my 7th week of exercising SIX days each week!! And it so TOTALLY does NOT feel that it's been six weeks already! I haven't checked again lately, but the last time I had, I'd shed 11 pounds. That's pretty darn hope inspiring! ^_^

I'm grateful to have learned more specifically where I may go to purchase REALLY inexpensive flats of water for our home water storage. It's been depleated over the last 6 months and I feel anxious to refill it. I'm hopeful that we'll also be able to get our barrell system up and in place much sooner than later. It's already been much longer to get it going than I hoped. But I'm sure the Lord has a reason for the wait. He's blessed me with this anxiety to action... but I MUST remember to wait for His timing in ALL things! ^-^

Tuesday, October 11, 2011: I'm thankful for the exercise time with Susan Powter first thing in the morning. I'm grateful for the visit from one of my Visiting Teachers. It was really helpful and relieved me of some of the burden I'd felt on my heart. She's definitely a wise woman and I'm grateful for her friendship! I'm grateful for the really good behavior of my children as we went to the Library so I could Fax something to ICES, then to a friend's house to drop a few things and let her know I love her, then to the grocery store, then to another friend's house to drop something off and meet her in person. My kiddos were just WONDERFUL! And Jimmy didn't cry a bit until we were basically in our own neighborhood. What a bunch of troopers!!! ^_^

I'm grateful for the tremendous bag of persimmons my newest friend gave me when I went by to bring her a copy of the new Relief Society Manual. I go to try to bless her life and she blesses mine way more! I feel like this is a perfect example of God's Love and how He works.... What a GIFT!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011: I'm thankful my Kat told me again today she had a wonderful birthday. Had to be if she's still enjoying it a few days later! What a gift!!!!

I'm grateful for the exercise time I was able to do with Denise Austin and a quick Yoga workout. I'm grateful for Jessie's willing ness to support me in my practice of my religion and developing my relationship with Jesus Christ and God, the Father through temple attendance. It was a LOVELY day! It seems like most of the women with whom I've been becoming friends at the temple were ALL there this morning! It's amazing how, even going only once a month, you can get to love people so much! And what a gift to get so many hugs from such sweet and loving ladies!! It was a joy! I'm grateful for the quiet afternoon we enjoyed at home. Got the kiddos to bed later than I would've liked (this keeps happening!), but all was well otherwise. (I prefer an 8pm IN BED time, but it's been more like 830pm or so... so not ridiculous, but still.)

JUST IN CASE YOU WONDER

Things are not perfect and blissful all the time around here. We have problems. Lots of them. And most of the time they come in groups! Some of them are severe and cause, what I imagine to be, great ripples in "the force" because of the wrongness and pain resulting.

Because there is truth in the saying: What we Focus on reveals who we are... I'm trying to CHANGE my focus and have been, largely, successful! ^_^

This special post each Thursday is one I have grown to LOVE and feel a need for... it helps me to see and focus on the good that there IS to be thankful for. It is helping me to change... to make one LEAP at a time in the development I need to experience to become the woman the Lord would have me be.

I'm SO grateful to have SUCH an amazing sister who has started this whole thing!!! Evelyn is truly gifted in MANY ways. If you haven't read her thoughts at Educating Evelyn... I encourage you to do so!

I hope others may join in posting Thankful thoughts each Thursday and that this effort may grow into a movement so that others may experience the light, happiness, and even JOY that comes from feeling grateful consistently... and over time the feeling just seems to grow! At least, this is my truth. I pray it for you, should you choose to join in giving Thanks each Thursday! :)

A Cult Like Any Other

2011-10-10T16:41:00.001-04:00

Some numerous persons I either KNOW or have heard of through experiences of those I know have heard that I (we LDS folks) are members of a Cult. Well... to determine the truth or fallacy of such a supposition, one would have to first define CULT.

So, according to the Merriam-Webster Free Online Dictionary, I think I am. WHAT???!! Well, are you? I mean, if you're a religious person... then, by this definition you are. And I am. And we are! YEAY!!!

Moving right along. (Yes, I am going to require you to do a little bit of "extra" reading if you want to understand what I'm saying and where I'm coming from. I'm not doing the spoon-feeding. IF you want to believe I'm just agreeing with your fallacious assumptions, so be it. You'd probably find a way to twist what I have to say about my heart and mind to make it fit what you believe anyway. While I'm sorry about that... for you... I can't really do anything to change YOU... I can only (and only want) to change me!)

Just as a note on the #4 from the above link, I'm thinking of orthodox being the majority of Christians.... We LDS do, indeed, have some beliefs that seperate us from the group because Joseph Smith, Jr. actually saw God the Father and our Savior Jesus Christ, he knows (and I know) that they are two individuals who are one in purpose. This differs from "orthodox" Christianity because the majority adhere to the definition of God agreed on in the Nicene Creed. About that Creed... I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father has give us the tremendous gift of Agency... but just because a bunch of us punny humans get together and agree on something... regardless of how inspired it is, if it's not God, it's not. Seeing God with our Savior... that is something irrefutable.

Next, I've found a definition on Dictionary(.)com, which site I like and turn to often for definitions. I'll address each one here (they are almost the same as those found in the previous... so I'm doing it once now). #1: Yes. We have that, do that. #2: Yes, if you realize that Jesus Christ is that person/idea (if you don't think He's a person as I do). #3: Christ is the object. The one born in Bethlehem, of course. #4: Um... yep. Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. #5: Yes, we do this too. The Catholics do. The Baptists do. The Lutherans do. The Seventh Day Adventists do. The Muslims do. The Jews do. Do you get my point?

Moving right along.

I like this NEXT one. Perjoratively... LOVE that word! Sounds so... funky and cool. ^_^ Anyone can use the word "cult" to mock us LDS, or demean, or attempt to mislead others about our beliefs, but such use doesn't change the object/person of our devotion. The members (like me) of The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints worship Jesus Christ, son of Mary and God (Joseph being his eathly father, but God being the Father of Christ's body). We live to submit to His Will, the Will of the Father and the Son. We live to return to their presence to live for eternity... This is our hope.

Yes, we "Mormons" are a minority in any given society (unless you narrow it down to localities and then "we" may be the majority in various parts of the West).

As far as the kind of 'cult' characterized (or opposed in anti-cult movements) by "brainwashing" and mind control or other agency removing efforts; we of the LDS Church and Faith are not a part of that group. We know that angency in all its forms (the ways people choose to do good OR ill) are given of God and we would not remove it from anyone!

My Mom once said, many years ago, something like, "Oh, someone might think Jessie was brainwashed!" I was too shocked to respond (which was usual for me at the time). She paused for a moment, thought, and then said, "Well, I suppose that's not such a bad thing if his brain needed some cleaning!" We do not attempt to exert control over anyone... though we DO encourage ALL to get to know God and then submit to His Will, which should anyone strive to do with their whole heart, might, mind, strength, and soul... such would result in those people who so strive to do similarly... to become ever more and more alike. And this is the point. To become one with Christ, even as He is one with God. To be in Him as He is in our Father and the Father in Him; so then to be in God and God in us. But this is all documented much more poetically in the Bible (and Book of Mormon), should anyone desire to read it and understand with spiritual eyes and ears.

Next and final... okay, so reading this page is good. I'll direct you to where I begin to share about my religion based on this article's statements about "cults." If you will scroll down to the fourth paragraph under the first bold title area of the article (within the article): Looking at the bold area of this paragraph I have to respond: ummm... this is all Christian denominations to one degree or another. I mean, especially those denominations named the name of the man who originated the principles of the subgroup!

I like and prefer that next the Bible is invoked. I definitely believe the part about defining Jesus differently than the Bible does. Thankfully, you'll NOT find this problem with me and my religion since we believe the Bible to be the word of God so long as it is translated correctly (I read the KJV of the Bible).

Thankfully those of us of the LDS Faith do NOT do the second: proclaim salvation by workds. We know, just as all Christians, that the good we do is by the Grace of God and that He, by Grace, overcomes the lack between that which we can do (carried in an by His Grace) over the chasm between what we can do in Him and what is required to live in His presence. Praise the Lord for Grace and the Atonement!!!

Finally (of the three points) we of the LDS Faith believe in the Bible fully and strive to live the principles and precepts laid our for us all within it. Deep doctrine in my church always aims us back to Christ and His doctrines. We experience the testament of truth by the Holy Spirit of God. I know the Bible to be the Word of God in the same way I know the Book of Mormon to be the Word of God to a disparate group of people who were once of the Jews in Jerusalem. The Holy Spirit that witnesses the truth of these things to my mind and heart (and in my body at times) is the same that will witness these same truths to all other groups of Christians. "By their works, ye shall know them." I'm not perfect. The other Mormons I know are not perfect, but we are trying to do good and to live as Christ would have us live. If we are being led by the deceiver to do and live in this way, then he is a house divided against itself as Jesus described when He (Jesus) was said to be doing things by the power of the deceiver. All good comes of God. Nothing good comes of the devil. Not one bit.

It's funny to me that the next paragraph describes the problem of religious extremism. God said, Himself, in the Bible that He wanted us to be either hot or cold. He will spit us out otherwise. I'll not be spit out. So, if someone declares I'm in a cult because I am Zealous for Christ, so be it.

I've already spoken about Agency and will move along to what comes next in the article. So, my Church is directly, yet indirectly named within the article as a cult... *sigh* You'll have to decide for yourself, obviously! ^_^ One thing about how you make a decision... hopefully you already know how the Holy Spirit communicates Truth to you. If you don't, then this is more difficult. But if you DO know, then all you have to do is read the Bible, read the Book of Mormon, ponder on the Truths found validated from one (the Bible) in the other (the Book of Mormon) and then pray about it. If you find, as I have, that the Holy Spirit witnesses TRUTH to you, too, then keep learning. The deeper you go, the more full the hole in your heart that Jesus made just for Him to fill WILL be filled! I know this to be true. I've lived it. I'm living it. I will live it.

Some GREAT talks by some of oure church's leadership about the Book of Mormon and other truths:

The Power of Scripture
The Book of Mormon - A Book from God this is why I believe the Book of Mormon is necessary now
Personal Revelation and Testimony
You Matter to Him
A Witness
Teachings of Jesus is this a different Jesus than the one you know??
The Priviledge of Prayer

If you liked these and would like to watch more of the General Conference from which I took these, click HERE. ^_^ I'd love to know what you think after you watch the first two, especially. :)

Thankful Thursday Week of September 29 - October 5, 2011

2011-10-06T18:26:00.000-04:00

Thursday, September 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the rest I've been able to get which has enabled me to begin the process of changing my schedule. I've known for many years now that the human body is made to sleep at night (1 hour of sleep BEFORE midnight is like TWO hours of sleep AFTER midnight = sleep earlier, get "more sleep" in less hours). Unfortunately, for me, knowing things doesn't equal learning them... since learning requires application to ones life.

I'm grateful for the blessing of exercising, which I completed almost fully before Jimmy woke up from his nap. I did some Yoga, which I still enjoy quite well. I think my body is becoming acclimated... or I'm not pushing myself enough cause the sweat isn't pouring nearly as much. Or... maybe it's not as hot anymore. I'm not sure what.

I'm grateful for the good behavior of my girls and Jimmy while we were grocery shopping! Jimmy was so content he fell asleep! What a sweet lil' guy! Of course, all my babies have fallen asleep in the sling. So, he's as wonderful as his sisters. This bodes well for us in the future. :)

Friday, September 30, 2011: I'm thankful that I was able to exercise before Jimmy woke up today (worked with Susan Powter and added weights on my own to what she was doing... modifying to fit my desire/plan). I was finished by around 830am. YEAY! I'm so very thankful for the rabbits we were given! It took a while to find the home of those who were donating them to 4H kids (because I didn't realize there were two parts of one road!), but when we did find it we were able to pick up two good lookin' Dutch does (sisters) in a cage with all supplies. WHAT a gift!!!! Ria is SO excited about them! :)

I'm thankful for the great deal on Chicken I was able to pick up today. 40 pounds for $1.49 per pound. Boneless, skinless, chicken breast. Some trimming necessary as the breasts are intact other than being off the bone, but SO worth the price! I'm looking forward to pressure canning up some! SO excited!!!!

I'm thankful I was able to be in bed and sleeping before 1030pm... I think (don't have a clock since I cannot find my cell).

The last few days have GOOD practice to NOT have a phone with me... sorta frustrating, but I'm grateful for the difficulty because this is the life I'm moving back into. Sorta scarry and very uncomfrotable... but change usually IS!

Saturday, October 1, 2011: I'm thankful that Jimmy was a sweet baby through most of my Yoga workout today. Today was a different Yoga than I usually do. It's called "on the ball" and interesting. I cannot do all of it ON the ball since I don't have a right sized ball for my height in the house and I keep forgetting to bring the larger one inside. The video I worked out with was still great. Just not nearly as sweat inducing. :)

I'm grateful for all that I was able to accomplish early: exercise, some sweeping, cleaning up the rabbit area, ate, started some pizza crust, and finished my computer work - all before Conference (first session). YEAY! I'm loving the whole early waking thing. Now, just to get up earlIER so I can have some time without anyone else around... that part is getting rather difficult: having no time alone. *sigh* Just need to value THAT more than sleep and I'll be able to DO it! :)

Sunday, October 2, 2011: I'm thankful for the quiet time I was able to spend with my children before the first session of Conference today. We even went on a walk.

The sessions of Conference were wonderful. Jessie even stayed awake for a good portion of the first one. Slept through some of the rest and the last. ahwell. I'm thankful for the girls' good behavior - for the most part.

I'm grateful for the wonderful pizza dinner we enjoyed with the missionaries. I was inspired by my sister Eves to make my own Sour Dough pizza crusts. They were much easier to make than I expected. And my girls love any and everything 'sour dough,' which is a wonderful blessing to me since I know just how very much healthier sour dough is than added-yeast breads.

Monday, October 3, 2011: I'm thankful for ALL that I've been able to accomplish today! Woke up and worked out with Denise Austin. Finished up the Sour Dough rolls, got everyone out the door WITH all necessary supplies! ^_^, stopped by Wal-Mart to buy canning bottles, dropped by a friend's house to pick up the casserole she was supplying for a family who lost their Mom on Friday morning, went to the bereaved friend's home to drop off rolls and casserole, and then back to my friend's home to can up some chicken (which they helped me with TREMENDOUSLY!). It was a long, full, a GOOD day!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011: I'm thankful for the MANY gifts and blessings the Lord sees fit in His infinite mercy and Love to bestow upon me and my family; regardless of how unworthy we are!

I woke up and worked out with Susan Powter (adding in weights) today. Good time. Not as sweat inducing as I prefer, but good work.

I ate something and then checked my email and found an email to let me know that I'd won a contest that is HUGE for me: a year's supply of food from Emergency Preparedness!!! Seriously wonderful! This will increase my Peace and assurance of Heavenly Provision because, as we're told, "If ye are prepared, ye shall not fear," I've found this so be SO true!!! We've purchased most of our supplies (many of which we still have; especially our 72 hour kits, which need to be updated to 7-day kits, per the Brethren's suggestion). I'm just TICKLED pink!!!!

Wednesday, October 5, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift from my husband of taking me and our family to the temple today. It was an especially wonderful temple trip because not only did I get to do an endowment session, but I also got to spend some time talking to a wonderful lady named Judy! It was awesome and delightful to talk with another sweet Sister in the Celestial room! I felt that the Lord used me as an instrument in His hands to share some thoughts that might benefit Judy and the youth of her Stake (since she's Stake YW President now). Wow! Talk about a big calling to bear up under. Thankfully she knows she's yoked with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ!

The rest of the day was quite nice. I exercised with Susan Powter before we left, so I was able to have some sort of quiet time while the girls had quiet time. I haven't had much of that since I've been striving to change my schedule. That's probably the single hardest part of this change. But it's GOOD in SO many ways. :) I desire to continue on and hopefully the Lord will enable me to find ways to be filled with His Peace ever more surely.

Thankful Thursday for the week of September 22-28, 2011

2011-10-01T10:50:00.000-04:00

Thursday, September 22, 2011: I'm thankful for frustrating days because they enable me to enjoy the peaceful, uneventful ones. I'm grateful for the two dogs that were trying to eat our rabbits and chickens... grateful because #1 Jessie got to be our Knight and #2 Jessie got to feel worried about not having us and feeling how much he loves and wants us. I'm sad that at least one of the dogs is dead, but relieved and THANKFUL that neither Jimmy nor I were hurt. I'm grateful for a wonderful SWEET neighbor who heard me screaming (didn't realize I was!) and came RUNNING across the street to help. He picked up an 8 foot fence post and weilded it in defense of me and my home. What a BLESSING to have GOOD neighbors!! I'm grateful for another neighbor fella who had his shotgun out to try to deal with the dog that got away from Jessie. WHAT A MORNING!

I'm grateful for the motivation I felt, which enabled me to accomplish a GREAT deal in our garage toward organizing it. I look forward to having shelves in there at some point... preferrably sooner than later! :) I'm so thankful for my daughters' sweet play and enjoyment of being outside "stuck" under the carport because of rain most of the time - they still had a ball and got wonderfully dirty!

I'm grateful that Jimmy slept through 2/3 of my workout tonight. It really is difficult to focus on exercising when he's sad and wants me. But I'm grateful that he calms quickly when I attend to him! I worked out with Kathy Smith in Project YOU tonight. Not as wonderful as Yoga, but got the sweat on good. :)

Friday, September 23, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home to get some of my ICES work done and just be here... safely. I'm grateful for Jessie's early arrival home. I'm thankful I was able to do my Yoga video. LOVE it!!!

Saturday, September 24, 2011: I'm thankful for Primary Activities! Our WONDERFUL Primary Presidency with special guests did an amazing work in building excitement in our children for missionary work (specifically serving missions, but it's a small task for a Mama to generalize from there!). I'm thankful for the time they ALL dedicated to the planning process, preparations, and flawless and wonderful execution of sending my three girls on a mission for about an hour. ;) It was LOVED by all!!!

I'm thankful for Relief Society Broadcasts!! They are all always wonderful. But this one feels especially wonderful to me because felt so much confirmation! I didn't feel chastised through most of it (as I usually do). I only felt a slight chastisement during President Uchtdorf's talk... and that was lovingly delivered and received without pain on my part. What a gift and blessing to hear from those who lead this wonderful organization! I would like to add my small and perhaps silly testimony that the new Manual is wonderful, inspirational, and full of wonderful lessons. I'm sure we will enjoy our RS lessons this coming year - perhaps even more than we have for the last two years! :)

I'm grateful for Ria's help so that I could finish my exercises before the RS Broadcast. She really is an amazing helper!! My children are definitely the closest "thing" I have to laying up a treasure on earth!!! I worked out with Denise Austin and had rivers of sweat pouring down my body. Nice.

Sunday, September 25, 2011: I'm thankful for wonderful talks at church. I'm determined to keep my armor of Truth girt about me ever more surely thanks to Bro. Donovan Ward. I'm grateful for our High Councelor's talk and Pres. Martell's words as well. I'm grateful for Sister Hardy's preparation for Sunday School! I'm especially grateful for Sister Jalving's prepartion for the lesson today on HOPE! Even though her topic was hope, just like with Sister Allred's talk, the main thing that stuck in my mind was CHARITY!! So, obviously, the Lord is making it clear in my mind that I need to focus, with ever more energy, my work on charity within ME. I thought I was making dramatic strides before. God just wants me doing more and better work in this area, apparently! :) God's Got It! I'm sure he knows what I can accomplish, so I'll just obey and seek Him First... as I TRY to do each day! (I do feel a little nervous about what is coming up if this is such a hugely clear focus for me to work on, directed of the Lord!)

I'm grateful for the promptings to visit a friend. Hopefully she felt the Lord's Love for her through my few minutes with her... cause I totally felt URGED to visit AND even had to turn around to do so! God LOVE US!!!!!

I'm thankful for quiet days at home and Quiet Time during which I could watch some of the RS Broadcast again. LOVE it!

I'm gratful for incidents which may lead to improvements. I can HOPE, anyway.

Monday, September 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the headache I woke up with. It encouraged me to drop my preexisting out-of-the-house plans in favor of staying at home. I exercised earlier in the day (with Denise Austin Ultimate Fat Burner) so that I could get to sleep earlier at night in hopes of changing my routine to an earlier and better and healthier one. The exercise temporarily relieved the headache, too! I'm so thankful for small mercies. :) Ria helped me wonderfully with Jimmy while I exercised. She is amazing! What a blessing to this home, our family, and my life she is!!!

Tuesday, September 27, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home. I exercised today while Jimmy was talking a nap. (Yoga today.) What a GOOD way to do it. Unfortunately life doesn't always work out in the best ways. It sure is nice when it does, though. And I'm SO thankful! I'm thankful for an early to bed time. I was actually asleep by around 10pm. I'm grateful for what I did get done, though hope I can become ever more efficient as time moves along.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's willingness to go to the temple and spend time with our children while I worked inside. I was blessed to run into a number of women I've gotten to know a LITTLE by temple attendance. Don't even know most of their names, but I love 'em just the same. Some of my "angels" and they are SO sweet! Once is sending me a gift in the mail, too. :) Oh, I exercised EARLY this morning (515am) because I knew it would be a BUSY day. Worked out with Denise Austin again. Got the sweat running in rivers down my body. Nice! I'm thankful for the opportunity to do 4H with friends. The kiddos LOVE it and I think we Moms do, too! ^_^

Thankful Thursday, Week of September 15-21, 2011

2011-09-22T07:03:00.001-04:00

Thursday, September 15, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home. I've been feeling head-coldy and was especially glad to be home today. I'm thankful that Ria got much of what she's supposed to do done today and that Kat and Tea wanted to do what they are supposed to do. I'm thankful for the gardening I was able to complete. Seeds are now in the ground. Now, to see how many of them germinate and then survive. THAT is the question! And I pray the Lord will bless us with much fruit from my effort. It has been sweaty work... no blood this time around... at least, not mine. Kat did slam her finger in the door today, but she didn't bleed into the garden... so I guess that's not the same thing. ;) I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend doing Yoga! Jimmy slept through my whole workout... even my relaxation pose at the end. SWEET baby!

Friday, September 16, 2011: I'm thankful for the full and difficult today proved to be. Today is one of my mile markers. I have SO far to go... but I'm making progress. Brought Jess his check, bought chicken and rabbit food, library, Deland Bakery, Grocery Store (where someone told me I should teach parenting classes... HA!), phone call to request a specific act of service I was willing to perform to begin tonight, phone call requiring revocation of invitation made without permission, frustration over non-functional computer, phone call from EllieAngel at just the moment when I was already almost broke down (crying in frustration) in which she helped me resolve my most trouble (fixing dinner, watering garden, crying during all of it), ate dinner, nite nite devotionals, welcomed friends for the weekend, Jess home early and repaired computer, exercised (Jimmy woke up as he often does with just me and my "Knight fought the battle of Jimmy tears" while I finished my Yoga video), and finally went to bed around 1am. What a day! YEAY for God sent Angels and exercise! :)

Saturday, September 17, 2011: I'm thankful for the blessing of two of our young friends here for the weekend. Their presence has increased my motivation to DO things outside (that need done anyway!). So, after breakfast: devotionals and then out to the front yard for work on the driveway. I really should've done a before picture of the driveway. Didn't think about it until now. I will take one today or tomorrow before I pick more grass out of it, though. You cannot image unless you've been here how MUCH I need to weed the gravel portion of my driveway! It's so bad that we have to mow the driveway. Seriously. I'm grateful for the time I was able to exercise with Susan Powter tonight. I wanted to do Yoga, but my index finger was hurting so much that itwas excruciating to pick Jimmy up, much less rest my weight on it!

Sunday, September 18, 2011: I'm thankful for the wonderful behavior of one of my daughters and our two young friends sitting with us in Sacrament Meeting. I'm thankful for the relief of sharing some thoughts in classes at church today. I'm grateful for the time one sister shared with me on the phone today. I am so blessed! I'm so grateful for my sister from my family of origin. She spent a good bit of time with me on the phone and listened and tried to give uplifting feedback. I'm so grateful she still loves me given all she knows of past-me and present-me!

Monday, September 19, 2011: I'm thankful for the very good behavior of my children as we went shopping for a phone (almost landline type). We were in Wal-Mart longer than I anticipated and they were exceptionally well behaved! Then, at the stop at a friend's house, Jimmy did NOT cry! What a gift!!! I'm so grateful for my children. I tend to be pretty hard on them... as I am on myself, just a little less so... but they really ARE amazing! I'm grateful for the sleepiness of my Jimmy - he slept all the way through my Yoga For Weightloss video. I even got to stay in Relaxation Pose until Jess got home (only about 5 minutes, but still!). I'm grateful to feel like my body is changing... My breath is coming easier and the stretches are a little easier. I'm getting fit-ter (at least). YEAY!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home during which I got a lot of computer work done (including some writing!). Not enough house work done... but that is ALWAYS there! I'm grateful for the part of my exercise time that Jimmy was happily playing. It was a bit of a bummer that he started fussing about 15 minutes before I was done, but I'm grateful for the challenge of reminaing focused amid the tumult and trying to share my Peace with him without giving up on my efforts to improve my fitness. He's a sweet little guy... just wants his Mama. How can I be upset about that? Well... unfortunately, sometimes it does get overwhelming. Honestly. But I keep reminding myself about how FAST these 6 months have already passed. I don't have much longer before he's free walking himself! I need to enjoy these days of his complete desire being just to be with me! Need to remember!!! I'm thankful for the workout video (Susan Powter) tonight and the weights I was given by a friend a few months ago, which have come in handy a few times. YEAY for getting this body (under the fluff) in shape! :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the Visiting Teaching visit I received. I always enjoy my sweet Sisters coming into my home! :) I'm thankful for the enjoyable library trip we took today. It was a pleasure. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend with a dear friend in the home in which she lives. It was a blast! I'm grateful for the speed with which my children went to sleep tonight. I wish I could just keep them up later and enjoy this every night. But I HAVE tried it and it is NOT a good idea in practical application. ahwell.... I'm grateful for tonight. I'm grateful for the desire to workout which continues to motivate me. I'm grateful for the changes I already feel in my body which encourage the continuation of this desire. I did Yoga tonight. LOVE Yoga!!! ^_^

We Become What We Hate

2011-09-17T16:25:00.001-04:00

Perhaps it's overgeneralizing. Perhaps it is not true for everyone... but as a rule it seems to be a true principle: we become what we hate, despise, resent, etc. If we have supercharges negative feelings toward or about something/someone, we either already are (perhaps to a much smaller degree) OR become what we dislike. Do you see this truth in your life? In observation?

I see it in me!

I used to hate things about some very close to me. I used to hate the laziness I observed. I hated that there was always time for TV or a movie (or multiple movies), but never time to spend actually BEing with others... or DOing the things that needed to be done. The explanation for incomplete tasks: "I don't have time." And, in a way, this explanation is always correct. We do NOT have time for all the important things AND all the completely UNimportant things. I could see, from my outside observer's POV, that the time available was simply being spent in worthless/fruitless/selfish ways.

Just for the record, I am NOT talking about just one person right now. I am thinking about a number of qualities in a number of different people I know really very well - as far as knowing others goes. And aren't those the people I should be most Charitable toward? And I don't mean the kind of charity the world refers to! I mean Charity... The Pure Love of Christ, which pure Love includes unconditional forgiveness. I have been commanded, in a personal commandment just to me, to forgive unconditionally, and I still struggle to obey with certain people (those closEST to me)! :-(

The point? I hated those quality characteristics. And I am only beginning to realize the extent to which I hated myself... and/OR BECAME those things I hated.

It seems to me an inextricable sort of thing... like a black hole kind of deal. The only power that can free us from the power of a black hole is the power of God. For even though the scientists don't know this yet (haven't proven it through mathematical equations), even the darkness of a black hole must flee at the Light and Power of Our God, for He is Master of even those!

My Love still needs to grow. My Charity must be dug deeper. I know it. Yet the me of today, compared to the me of 4... 5... 6 years ago... I'm ever more and more leaving behind the hater and becoming a true Lover. And what LIGHT! I mean, LIGHT in every sense of the word.... I feel brighter. Not as in intelligence... though I do feel that as a result of other things... but brighter as in full of actual Light. I feel ever more and more relieved of burdens as I forgive myself for being what I used to hate and forgive others for being less than I know they could be... isn't that what it boils down to? We hate (feel extreme emotion to the negative) because we see in others what we don't like about ourselves... Or, see in others a way that we know they could be better than they are and we hate the bad of ourself or the shortcoming because we KNOW they could be SO much BETTER!

I have so much more to improve. I totally know it. But as I reflect on the distance I've come, I wonder: WHY did I ever sink so low as to hating??? How did I not KNOW that I was hurting me most of all?? Oh, I heard that. But I just didn't KNOW! I forgive me. I hope YOU will forgive me!

Thankful Thursday; Week of September 9-14, 2011

2011-09-15T08:00:00.005-04:00

Thursday, September 8, 2011: I'm thankful for diligent daughters who worked hard today, without complaint (mostly) to do what they are supposed to do daily. AND some of it was even done without request, reminder, or promptings from moi! YEAY! I love my girls! I'm thankful for a sweet 2, almost 3 year old, who desires SO much to learn like her big sisters and who pleads with me to do reading classes with her (when she sees me do them with Kat). They are my treasures... after God, of course. I'm grateful for the enjoyable YBB I was able to do from start to finish even though Jimmy woke up. He fussed because he couldn't get out of his seat for a minute, but once out, he entertained himself wonderfully and only fussed that little bit when he needed help out of his seat! Another treasure! I'm grateful for the fever Ria has/had tonight which helped me feel greater compassion for some friends whose kiddos are ill. I'm grateful for the peace I feel in knowing God's Got It.

Friday, September 9, 2011: I'm thankful for my Mom. Today is/was her birthday! She's 20 years older than me and I think she's been my best friend forever. She tells me that I hated her at one time because I wanted to marry my Dad and was mad that I couldn't because she did... but I think that must have surely been when I was 5 or something! ;) My Mom... she is amazing. She is smart, though underestimates her intelligence far too often. She doesn't think critically about things as often as she could, but she is SMART in the MOST important way: she knows when the Lord is speaking to her and she abides His direction without question and more quickly than many (me!) I know. My Mom is the best and most important example in my life of how to live as she felt/believed the Lord would have her live. I'm so thankful for her Spiritual strength, her dedication to Truth, her determination to stick through seriously tough times, things, and experiences (from childhood on up!). I'm thankful for her grace, her sweetness, her service... she is simply amazing! Mom, I'm still trying to be like YOU!

I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend working out with Denise Austin workout video. Jimmy was wonderful again. He slept all the way through and only woke up for a few moments a couple times and watched the TV and then fell back to sleep in his swing chair. I'm also thankful for the continued illness Ria is battling. I'm grateful for the continuation of this trial because it is giving me more time to practice being loving and compassionate toward her. I need practice with that sometimes... and especially when she's ill because I have a tendancy to stress overmuch over illness and make things worse by being that way. Father God is having me work on this weakness right now and I am thankful!

Saturday, September 10, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to work with a wonderful family to clean our church building! I'm grateful for Stake Conference. The kiddos and I went to the Adult's Session and spent time together in the Primary Room so that I could listen to the speakers in the Chapel. I'm grateful that my kiddos love me so well! I believe they know that what feeds my Spirit will result in good for them, which makes it easier for them to do what they may rather not do. I'm grateful for the continued feelings of inspiration and motivation to do what I need to do to get into better shape cardiovascularly and to shed the baggage, generally, but specifically and especially that which cumbers the "outside" of my body! (I DO know that my internal organs have too much fat in them since my body does... but it's definitely most visible on the outside!) I enjoyed another Yoga workout today. I think Yoga is my preferred workout currently. This time I tried a video I've had for a while, but haven't done much. I did it and enjoyed it, but not as well as my preferred Yoga video. However, I know the variety is good for me. :)

Sunday, September 11, 2011: I'm thankful for Stake Conference. I went with just Jimmy because Jessie has had headaches this week and all three girls have had a bit of a cold-type thing. I figured he wouldn't get much out of it... (he'd fall asleep), so I went and really enjoyed it! I'm thankful for a day of rest from workouts and other word that I'm pressed to do during the week. I do enjoy (and even sometimes love) the workouts, I'm glad for the day of rest.

I'm thankful for all the people who helped me 10 years ago. 9-11-01 was a rough day for me... night actually, since I was in Australia. But my Mom, Jessie, Keefe, Josefine, Feli, Meijke, and a couple others were SUCH loving support to me. THANK YOU!!

Monday, September 12, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet and restful day at home. I'm thankful for thegood running use of the mower. It wasn't working a couple days last week, so I couldn't finish the backyard cut job I wanted to work on. It's still not finished, but the part closest to the house (at least in back!) is done. That was about a 2 hour job... and only half of it was left after last time! It was seriously tall, though, which is why it took so long. Now... I know, you might think tall is, maybe, up to your shins... but this stuff was up to my thighs and hips. I'm 5'4". Seriously tall! Good workout. I'm thankful for the desire to do Yoga, too. I'm grateful to my Jimmy for sleeping right through the whole thing... even though he did wake up a couple times to check on me. ^_^ Oh, and I've "lost" 6 pounds now. YEAY! I'm so thankful for Heavenly deadlines! :)

Tuesday, September 13, 2011: I'm thankful for my brother Ben. He's the 5th child in our family (I'm the oldest) and he was, as I remember, one of the funniest kids! He was a pleasure and he loved us so very much! I remember that he would repeatedly do silly things (that probably hurt him) BECAUSE he knew that what he was doing was causing our laughter and he wanted us to be happy more and more. He's still a sweet guy in that way... he wants to help others be happy if and when he can. He's no longer a totally cute chubby little toddler. *sigh* He is, however, a huge handsome hunk of a fella with a gorgeous wife and two amazingly beautiful little girls and a big, smart step-son. I'm grateful that he is my brother and that he loves all of us so much - even still... after all that we put him through as a kid! ^_^

I'm thankful Jimmy slept through my Project YOU workout tonight. What a sweet SWEET lil' guy!

I'm grateful for the learning Path the Lord is leading me on. I'm grateful for the amazing fount of pure knowledge, understanding, and Peace I feel as I traverse this Path. I'm grateful for my sweet girls' work with me on our driveway. It's a gravel thing, ya know, and covered with grass. We began the gigantic task of removing the green from the gravel. I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend working on the dirt in our garden. I'm hopeful that seeds will be down before the end of the week! I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend exercising. My Jimmy seems to know that I need this time and, when he sees that I'm exercising, either entertains himself happily, or falls back asleep. What a joy!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011: I'm SO thankful for the time Jessie took away from work to take our family to the Temple in Orlando. It was a really wonderful morning! I feel like going to the Temple* is the absolute BEST way for me to recharge... it does the job SO completely and well! I'm especially thankful for the wonderful fun I heard my kiddos had with their Daddy...how Jimmy was so GOOD and the Golly Gang had such a great time in my absence during which time I was doing work for someone who cannot do it for herself. Today's Temple work time was especially neat for me because I've been feeling really strongly, when I pray, to ask for the Gift of Tongues and the Gift of Interpretation of Tongues. Now, I know this is unlikely to do much without effort on my part. However, with the ICES work, gardening, lawn maintainance, in addition to the regular extra things and regular things I have been doing, I haven't made much time to do much Spanish study (which is the first language I feel pressed to become proficient with... French being second). So... what does this have to do with my Temple work time? Well, today, in the session I was blessed to attend, there was a native Spanish speaker going through the Endowment for the first time! What does that mean? I didn't know until today that when this is the case, the whole session is done in the language of the 'first-timer'! ^_^ The English speakers had to wear the headsets the temple provides to hear English, should they do desire. I thought I would do that. But I sent up a quick prayer asking if I should (since I did feel some hesitation), while I was waiting for someone to bring one to me. The answer was a distinct, "No." I was a bit surprised, but then, as I pondered on it, I was impressed with any MANY reasons why the Lord would put me in such a situation. And what a BLESSING! It was a REALLY good experience! Also, this was my first time to get to do an endowment since Jimmy was born. 6 months ago. And I still remembered the important stuff word for word! WHAT A JOY!!!! I'm just so happy today!!! I'm grateful for the knowledge I have that the Lord has re-established the fullness of His Gospel in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints! I know the Temples built by The Church of Jeuss Christ of Latter-Day Saints are truly houses of The Lord. This truly is a Gospel full of MANY good words, good works, hope, faith and Love!

I'm thankful for what seems to becoming a routine for Jimmy... he slept through my Susan Powter long workout tonight. He did wake up to look around, which usually results in crying if I'm not the one holding him. But he saw the TV going with me moving nearby and fell right back to sleep. I have the feeling his angels are working nearby when I set him down with the intent to workout! Praise the Lord for his Tender Mercies!!

Ruled By Hatred

2011-09-09T17:20:00.001-04:00

I used to be, ya know. I used to be ruled by hatred. Did you know that? Could you tell? Try reading a post from 2008. Could you tell that I was full of hatred?

Well, I reviewed some posts from back then and I couldn't find one that really revealed much of that part of my heart. "In the quiet heart is hidden, sorrows that the eye can't see..." That's a line from 'Because I Have Been Given Much,' which in our Hymnal is song 219 (because of copyright that song is not avaiable to listen to via the music portion of http://lds.org/).   It's a lovely song! I think that was the first one we memorized in the beginning of doring devotionals last October.  I guess, even though I was significantly louder a person back then, I kept my hard heart deeply hidden and very quiet.

So, since it's not terribly visible or apparent... do you want to know what I hated? To give myself some credit, I think I was already making SOME good progress in regard to this subject by 2008... but from my point of view now, I can see myself so much more clearly and I see how I was still strugling with hatred heavy in my heart.

Since this post is, initially, about being ruled by hatred, I'm gunna tell ya what I hated! First of all, I hated just about everyone and anyone. Not in an all-consuming rolling-boil sort of way... but in a simmering sort of way. I was, in truth, waiting to take offense to just about everything. In October of 2006 I listened to General Conference.  Along with anyone else who listened to that Conference, I heard a particular talk by Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twleve Apostles entitled: 'And Nothing Shall Offend Them' .  That talk began the process of a tremendous change of heart in me, of which I enjoy many fruits today. I still have much progress to make, but I'm becoming a new woman and, in many ways, AM a new woman already. I continue to try to change daily, of course. I feel like the big changes in me... in my effort to be New, began as a result of this talk. I feel it has truly played a pivotal role in my life.

Why did I hate everyone and anyone? Well... because, at the bottom of all the reasons I could tell you #1 I didn't like me... I didn't LOVE me... in fact, I probably truly hated me!  #2 I was full of pride (an unwillingness to forgive pains inflicted by others is prideful). My unwillingness to change and become as Christ is, is a clear indicator of the Pride I had. Pride has many MANY guises! It is the root of all evil, afterall.

Hatred, like all the other tools of the deceiver (fear, envy, pride, anger, etc), binds the one feeling the emotion he has inspired. Initially the bonds are as flaxen cords. But over time the flaxen cords, because there are so many, bind as surely as the heaviest chains. They can become as a cocoon around a developing butterfly... but in this analogy, the bonds of the deceivers tools do not enable metamorphosis into something beautiful as a butterfly, but rather, starve the Soul and bring about eventual spiritual death of the kind that cannot be redeemed.

From within the binding (having been in hatred myself; and still struggling to cut some bonds of one of the evils I used to be consumed by, but still struggle with) it is nigh on impossible to see how to stop the cycle of what we're caught within. "I'm caught, this is a closed cocoon! There's no hope for me. Why bother?" These are thoughts I had and I felt the related feelings, too. But I'm not caught in hatred anymore. And if I can get out of the closed room (locked from outside), I guarantee you: Anyone Can!

How did I do it? The short answer: I did it in and through Christ Jesus and His Redemption brought about by His Atonement which He has already completed for each of us who will believe on His name: have Faith in Him, confess/repent, and be baptized!

Yes... that IS actually the short answer! ^_^

Want more details? If I were you, I would. Thus I share: I tried by praying for the ability to keep trying. That's how I started.  And then I kept trying. :) I fell more times than I can count. But I kept getting up and kept praying for support to change.

The greatest leaps forward came when I focused more on myself... not the selfish kind of way that the World declares is important... the, "I need ME time!" kind of way.... But, rather, the kind of focus on "me" that the Lord prescribes. I spent time by myself (usually after everyone else was asleep) to be in prayer. I was guided to record my prayers. And I have to tell you, I LOVE those journals!!!!! It has been absolutely a blessing to me and my life that I followed the promptings to write down impressions, images, and eventually words and sentences that I perceived the Lord whisper to my mind and heart.... I have great hope that all, but especially my prayer journals will bless the lives of my progeny. God willing!

I've always told the Lord I love Him when I pray. But one time, after I'd been praying with my journal - writing what I said and writing what was said back to me... I felt unable to continue after I told Father God that I loved Him. And so, since I couldn't think of anything else to say, I waited in listening mode. The response was FULL of pure LOVE!!!! I realized, as I wrote down what the Lord would have me know about His Love for me that I'd never waited to hear what He had to say on this subject because I didn't think I was worthy of it. I didn't want to know that He Loved me because I didn't love me and so I thought, "How could HE!??" But that time I listened... and at the time that I listened, I was only in acceptance of myself. I did not actually LOVE me. I do now, though!!! If He does, how can I NOT?? Am I greater than He? Do I know more than He knows? No. Surely not. So I must love me!!

The same realization has come about the rest of my fellow brothers and sisters on this planet. HE Loves them the SAME way He loves me. And what... do I know more than He? Should I not love them as He Loves them? If He loves me... and I KNOW me and how unworthy of His love I am... then I must MUST must Love others!!! (and I feel this "must" in a joyous and rejoicing way!)

Another thing that has enabled me to come to peace and FEEL the Love of God for others (even those who hate me, hurt me, speak unkindly about me, etc) is the profound realization I experienced of the truths I've sung repeatedly throughout my life in 'I Am a Child of God'. I had a sacred experience in which I saw the truth of this principle... this song... the truth of God's Love... and as a result I know the truth. I know that I am a part of God, that you are, that we all are. And if I profess to Love HIM, I must... I just MUST love me and you and everyone else, too!

So, in my weakness, the Lord has made me strong. I was once ruled by hatred. Now I am filled with Love. I'm not perfect in this area (nor any area) yet, but I have Faith that I can become perfect in and through Christ Jesus. I know that I will not be perfect in all things and in all ways so long as I reside in this tabernacle of clay... BUT I can become perfect in small (yet large) principles like this one. I pray you may come to know and understand these things AND MORE! I pray that you may be filled with the knowledge of how the Lord our Father God and His Son Jesus Christ, our Savior and Redeemer Love YOU! Amen.

Thankful Thursday; Week of September 1 - 7, 2011

2011-09-08T15:33:00.001-04:00

Thursday, September 1, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home, during which I was able to accomplish much and write another 4 pages on my story. I'm grateful for my Ria and all the goodness she desires to be and do! I'm grateful for her efforts to help me with the laundry! I think it's beginning to "pay off," all that time I spent with her as toddler... letting her "do" laundry. Now, when she does it, it's actually helpful! ^_^ I'm also grateful for the continued feeling of being inspired to exercise. Worked out to Susan Powter tonight. Felt the workout from last night... GOOD tightnesses! ^_^

Friday, September 2, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home during which I was able to finally respond to a very interesting discussion on my religion that I'm having with a friend. We're around 20 or 21 email exchanges in now and that's been over the last almost three weeks, now, I think! So NEAT!! I'm sad that cardio dance class at church for today and tomorrow were cancelled, but thankful that I have lots of videos and whatnot to use at home. I'm so happy to feel so excited and hopeful about getting fit. It also helps that I feel a sort of heavenly deadline! Praise the Lord for His Heavenly Helps, Tender Mercies, and Great Gifts!!!! ^_^

Saturday, September 3, 2011: I'm thankful for another day at home!! I love being here and am grateful when it works out that I get to enjoy my children (sometimes said sarcastically) and get things done around here! Currently, as a result of our "many" days at home, I've been able to catch up washing laundry (though not necessarily the folding and putting away... Ria's been providing some service in that area... what a JOY!), keeping the floors swept, staying on top of the communications I need and some that I desire to do, AND exercising. I'm thankful for the wonderful workout Yoga provided today. LOVED it! I think that's going to be my preferred exercise for a bit... LOTS of sweating, not so much with the out-of-breath-ness. :)

Sunday, September 4, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Spirit present in the Fast and Testimony Meeting today at church. It felt wonderful! I felt and still feel SO happy! So many youth bore testimony today. It was a pleasure! :) I'm thankful for the opportunity to have the Missionaries over for dinner tonight. One of the two is my most favorite (yes, I know that's not good grammar) missionary in forever! And he's SO much like Jessie... hmmm... YES! OF COURSE!, that's why he's my favorite in forever... I'm sure of it! :) I'm also thankful for the calling extended to Jessie at church today and hopeful that he will accept it. Don't know HOW the Lord can work things to provide him (Jessie) time to DO anything with the calling... but God's ways are not [my] our ways! I'm sure He can and WILL... after the trial of Jessie's Faith... assuming Jess accepts the calling. I'm rootin for acceptance! :)

Monday, September 5, 2011: I'm thankful for good weather, which enabled me to work in and on the back yard. I'm slowly choppin down the forrest of grass we've been growing. I was rather hoping to get a goat or two back there to do it for me, but my hope has blown away... down to the nitty gritty... and with this sand it sure CAN be gritty work (mowing, I mean)!!! I was also able to work on one of my SFGs. ^_^ YEAY!!! I've felt like we've had SUCH a naked yard this last year... no food stuffs TRYing to grow and all. Now it's feeling better that I'm trying to get things goin'. :) (I perspired so much in the outside work, I gave myself a break from video workouts. Seems Jimmy's in a growth-spurt, for which I AM grateful, but it's disconcerting when the milk maker's don't feel like they're getting full! hehehe ^_^

Tuesday, Septemeber 6, 2011: I'm thankful for a smooth and enjoyable library trip. It was quite fast, which was fine sincemy head was poinding out an unsteady rhythm. ;) I continue to be amazed and full of gratitude for my funny little girls who love shopping so much that they are almost totally little angels when we go GROCERY shopping! It does feel good to receive compliments on their sweetness and good behavior!! Jimmy was happily hanging in his pouch in my sling. He's almost always happy there! ^_^

Wednesday, September 7, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home in which to get some things done that needed to be done. I'm grateful for Jimmy's sweetness, in the evening, which enabled me to do my Yoga video. What a pleasure to get through it even with him awake!

Ria's Tooth

2011-09-06T22:43:00.000-04:00

Ria is now almost exactly 7.5 years old. As of today, she has just lost her first tooth. She's been fiddlin' with it for almost two weeks now and has complained over how annoying and painful it's was. Just tonight she pretty much started crying over the pain and annoyance. I said to her, "I'm sorry, Ria. But you know, along with change come these kinds of feelings. We just need to accept the part we don't like, so we can enjoy the part we do like." She was very thoughtful over that, still fiddlin' with her tooth, when an expression of shock came over her face and she said, "Something just happened to my tooth!" and ran to the bathroom. It had just falled out! It was AWESOME! ^_^ I have pictures, of course, but currently no way to upload them. When I do, make sure to check Facebook! Who knows when that'll happen, though. *sigh* I'm grateful she's done with that tooth... now I'm wondering when the next one will come loose. She's got a whole bunch left to go!

The funniest thing about this whole process is how MUCH Kat and Tea WANT to have loose teeth, too! Kat has even been wiggling and tooth so much that it may just be loose! :( Well, I suppose it wouldn't be unheard of that she could lose a tooth so young since she got her first at 4.5 months, while Ria got her first at 13 months!

Tea, though.... OH DEAR! I'm trying to convince both Kat and Tea that they really need to just let their teeth alone. We'll see.

Thankful Thursday, Week of August 25-31, 2011

2011-09-02T18:57:00.000-04:00

Thursday, August 25, 2011: I'm thankful for the enjoyable day spent with my kiddos. We went to the library for a while. They love it when we get to stay for longer than the time it takes to pick out books. And I made a new friend! Good times. I'm grateful for the first class of Cardio Dance, which a friend of mine from church started to teach tonight! It was FUN and good exercise! The girls enjoyed it, too. Jimmy... not so much. Hopefully he'll be better with it next time. :) I'm also so happy that my Jessie's sister friended him on Facebook... I'm hopeful that he will accept the friend request (and urging him to do so). I'm so hopeful that his side of the family may begin to heal! So hopeful....

Friday, August 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the enjoyable day at home with my wonderful and trying children. It was a good day, though, overall. And I was able to write a bit when it was all said and done.

Saturday, August 27, 2011: I'm thankful for another Cardio Dance class. So enjoyable! The shared salad afterward was wonderful, too! It's so nice to laugh at myself as I "dance" and then get to enjoy good food (that's also good for us) and conversation when it's all done. :) I'm thankful ALSO exceedingly thankful that the tornado that hit around these parts did so just about 2 miles away... rather than nearer our home. The crazy wind and rain at precisely that time caused me some mild feelings of wonder and even slight panic. Praise God for His Tender Mercies in sparing me and my sweet children from having to endure that kind of thing without Jessie! I know what I'm supposed to do when the situation doesn't warrant a cool head (ie: there is no problem), but I worry about acting under pressure... *sigh* I'm sure the Lord will prepared me if the time will yet come for me to have to face such situations. He always has in the past. He is ever Faithful. I'm the one that has to work on that!!! :)

Sunday, Agusut 28, 2011: I'm thankful for the Sabbath Day and the rest I'm commanded to allow myself! I thoroughly enjoyed the talks at church today. And after church, while everyone else had quiet time, I spent some time painting... what a pleasure... except for Jimmy's fussies... but still wonderful. Then read the September New Era... all of the girls' half, anyway. Good stuff. Inspiring me to work harder with my girls! Love feeling uplifted and inspired to WORK! ^_^

Monday, August 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the inspiration my friend, Daysha, has provided. Daysha is the Cardio Dance class teacher and has shed 25 pounds by her efforts. I'm so inspired I've begun to work on my own as well as with the class. Today I was sweating with a manula weedwacker in my hands so I could wack down some of the back yard to a more mowable height. And if you think that's not exercise... well, my arms hurt like it was. And I sweat buckes, so I'm counting it! Plus, I did some MORE cleaning in the van. Cleaning so as to locate and eliminate the foul odour which has been tormenting me these past couple of weeks. It's a PROCESS, let me tell you. AND as a result: NO MORE EGGS IN THE VAN!!!!! Generally, I'm just feeling super determined to have a much enjoyable time in this tabernacle of clay... and the best way to ensure that is by regaining my fitness! THANK YOU Daysha for helping me kick off!!! :)

Tuesday, Agusut 30, 2011: I'm thankful for well-behaved children in two grocery stores today. I'm thankful that they love to shop so very much that any opportunity to do so is a joy for them! I'm also grateful for chances to write during quiet time and after the kiddos are in bed. This baby is getting bigger! ;)

Wednesday, Agusut 31, 2011: I'm thankful for the inspiration from my friend to actually begin to exercise again!! Monday: whackin' weeds manually and today worked out to Yoga Booty Ballet. Love it. Sweated much, too! :)

Biodynamic, Deep Bed, Organic Farming

2011-09-01T18:18:00.011-04:00

This page is just for me. This is the kind of "garden" I'm aiming toward. Long-term thinking here, of course. Ria recently said she wanted to buy 60 acres. Yep, I think we could do biodynamic farming with deep beds (and within biodynamic is the necessary assumption of organic production). Awesome!

http://www.motherearthnews.com/Sustainable-Farming/1986-03-01/The-Deep-Bed-Farming-Society-Breaking-New-Ground.aspx

http://www.sharingsustainablesolutions.org/biointensive-mini-agriculture/

http://www.motherearthnews.com/Real-Food/1981-03-01/Chinese-Raised-Gardens.aspx

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMH_Hq2ZcuQ&feature=list_related&playnext=1&list=PL0D4532ADEFFDB36D This, I believe is the way God, the Father, has intended us to have dominion over the earth. Not the way that all too many of the current systems/organizers/leaders do it.

http://www.frenchgardening.com/aupotager.html?pid=3130818325605936

Christian

2011-08-26T16:55:00.000-04:00

I am one... a Christian, I mean. My Faith is in Jesus Christ of Nazareth, born in Bethlahem, known as a Galilean, to Mary and Joseph. Joseph was his earthly Father, while Heavenly Father was and is the Father of His body as well as His Spirit. And so He, Jesus Christ, became God living as a human.

Jesus Christ is my Hope and my Light. He is my Life. As I keep Him in His rightful position in my life, even the heaviest burdens are bearable (because I am yoked with Him!). Jesus Christ is my Savior and Redeemer. I know that without His Atonement, I could not have any meaningful Hope in or for the future. WITH and because of His Atonement, even the worst that could happen to me in this life will not truly hurt me, in the eternal scheme of things, because my Hope is in Christ and His saving GOODNESS, Grace, and acts (The Atonement).

I love the Gospel of Christ! It has brought all that is GOOD in my life to my knowledge and ability to feel. Christ is what is good about me and who is most important to me. Through His Gospel, I have come to acceptance of almost all things with which I previously struggled. I know the few things I have not yet come to accept are things I will shortly be in complete acceptance of because I am striving in Christ to truly be His. Beyond acceptance, I have come to Peace in and over many things with which I have struggled. And even beyond Peace, I have come to happiness and even joy concerning some (perhaps even many) things that I should feel happiness and joy in and about, but which I could not prior to making Jesus Christ BIG in my life and putting Him in His correct place in my heart, mind, and life/actions.

The Gospel of Christ, as taught in the Bible, is (in my understanding, knoweldge, and experience with God's Word via the Holy Spirit (wich constitutes my Faith)) magnified and expounded upon in The Book of Mormon. The Pearl of Great Price, Doctrine and Covenants, and Articles of Faith add additional Light to my understanding of Jesus Christ's Gospel. I'm so grateful our Heavenly Father has given us so much of His Word that we may grow in knowledge and understanding of Him and His ways that we might become ever more like our Savior and our Heavenly Father.

I bear my testimony that The Church of JESUS CHRIST of Latter-Day Saints contains within it the greatest amount of Truth and Light available through any of the religions practiced on the face of the earth today. I'm grateful that our Heavenly Father condescends to communicate to us via His Holy Spirit of truths which are necessary to our eternal salvation.

I bear this, my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Thankful Thursday, Week of August 18 through 24, 2011

2011-08-24T22:31:00.001-04:00

Thursday, August 18, 2011: I'm thankful for enjoyable busy days. We went to the library, received free kids meal cards for each of the girls, went to McDonald's, enjoyed a surprise visit with one of our sweet Sister Missionaries, and went to a lovely Eagle Scout Court of Honor. Exhausting, but wonderful, too. The girls were lovin' the GO of the day. (Not so much so for me with the love of GO, but glad they do!) Rather, I GO because I love! ;)

Friday, August 19, 2011: I'm thankful for opportunities to show my appreciation and love, even if only by going somewhere to support someone (sweet party Kenyon!).

Saturday, August 20, 2011: I'm thankful for my children's wonderful behavior at one of my Host Family's homes. We completed the orientations for the Host Families as well as the Exchange Students and it went very well (all things considered, especially!). What a gift and tender mercy of the Lord!

Sunday, August 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the Sabbath day and the physical rest it sometimes provides. And BOY! did I need it this time. Nap AND early to bed!

Monday, August 22, 2011: I'm thankful for a Monday at home to try to relax and rest in hopes of vanquishing the headache I've had for the last few days.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011: I'm thankful for a 5th day of headaches, which remind me how WONDERFUL it is to have been so very healthy for quite a long period of time!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011: I'm thankful for reduction in the pain in my head AND for the wonderful time had by all who participated in the 4-H meeting tonight. Heather, you are amazing!

Day 3

2011-08-22T14:39:00.001-04:00

Day three of the intense no-sugar fast, but actually day 8 total.

I think day three is always the hardest when trying to make changes. Why is that? I'm not sure. Haven't checked into it. But MAN! My head has been aching and pounding like crazy the past few days. Today it hasn't been as constant, but the moments of pain have been intense!

Why the pain? Well, last Monday we started a 40 day augar fast; as a family. The first 5 days, though, were kinda like what I'd been doing for myself already, except that I couldn't eat the hunny nut cherrios-type cereal we had and I couldn't make and eat anything with honey (like muffins, which I LOVE way too much!). But we could all still have all the fruit we wanted. Friday night was the end of that. Saturday was all right, but did have the headache.

Sunday was quite okay. Super tired and headache right behind my eyes. AND my eyes hurt, but I think that's just from being so flippin' tired!

Today has been the rockin day. The headache I've already mentioned. The fatigue... one would think that after having a nap on Sunday and going to sleep at 10pm I would have had enough sleep. But I suppose given the withdrawls from sugar that we're all going through at least a little bit... my body just wants to sleep and heal up.

Anyway... keep me in your prayers, if you think of it. And Jess, Ria, Kat, Tea, and Jimmy, too (Jimmy by way of breastmilk, of course). ^_^

What I Used to Be

2011-08-19T11:00:00.000-04:00

I used to be a show it all, all the time, kinda girl. Not physically in risque clothing, mind you. But emotionally. I used to "say it like it IS," or, in reality, like it was to me. My truth had to be said at the expense of all else. I had to say what I needed to say in and of myself.

This problematic behavior still troubles me, but not nearly as much as it did in the past. And when it creeps out, it's really more as a result of forgetting to guard my mind and tongue than with a feeling of "this opinion of mine, personally, must be shared, come hail or high water."

But, I think, the Lord has taken this personal weakness and turned it to His Glory and to support His purposes.  I used to be unable (or unwilling, probably, is more the truth) to control my mouth in support of and profession of my thoughts, considerations and opinions. Now I feel compelled to NOT control my mouth in profession of God's precepts, principles and truths.

I used to be open with any and all about everything with which I was dealing and/or struggling. I would monopolize conversation time with my personal problems and frustrations. I still do this at times... mostly with my Mom and a very few select others. This is totally new to who I am and I like it, but it is also a difficult change to endure in because it is NOT natural to Tori. I still have a tendancy to monopolize with vocalization (talking) communication opportunities when I'm around other adults. But not because I feel selfish (which I know I did in the past), but, rather, because I just want to talk to other adults and share stuff that I don't get to share as much as I'd like. Or to use big grow-up words as often as this woman wants to use em. (Men have far fewer words to use each day and often use more than they would like, while women have MANY words they want to use and, especially those who stay home full-time, rarely use them all up on a regular basis!) There is still selfishness in my desire to talk because I don't usually get to, I know it and I know I need to work on this character flaw. I am. Recognition of a problem/flaw is the first step to change, right!? :)  It's just so wonderful to share things (mostly good stuff) and hear responses in real-time! ^_^

In the past, during a time like my most recent bout with negative circular thinking, I would've verbally vomited here and to anyone else who would hear me. I am striving to change. Yet, I think it important to share the trouble from my current perspective because I am a frail woman full of problems and I would NOT want to give anyone the impression that I think I'm not simply because I tend to share mostly positive stuff anymore. :) I truly am trying to be and tend to be mostly positive anymore, but I have my down days just like anybody!

So, Jess and I had this arguement before I went to Louisiana. Yes. It's been a WHILE! July 13, I think, is when I left for that trip and the arguement started about 5 days before that. Anyway... the fussing and frustration was, eventaully, resolved and satisfactorily. I felt quite good about things. And then I went on the trip. I did try to keep us in regular contact with Jess and doing Devotionals as a family and whatnot, but it was far more difficult than the last time the kiddos and I went on a trip. Then it came time for me to return home. I was not feeling excited... I even felt some dread of it. Because of that arguement I mentioned above.

16 hours to think, given the feelings I felt when I depared, is not a good thing. I'm sure the lack of sleep contributed.

Family visited. Jess said something that was just one of those things he probably shouldn't have said while my brothers and their families were visiting. And from there I just felt the full return of all the negative feelings attached to the last two big arguements we'd had.

Anyway.... Basically, I was having unkind, intollerant, and even some uncalled-for thoughts about my husband. I was unforgiving. I refused to forgive. I felt justified in my unforgiveness even though I knew, in my heart, that I was wrong. I hardened my heart and stiffened my neck against the whispers that were telling me exactly how wrong I was. I'm so thankful the Lord didn't give up on me!!!

The only thing that has ever worked well to get me out of the negative circular thinking is God. He's always there and willing to help us with our silly little efforts to learn to walk with Him! And I know, truly, that I'm not even to the 'drunken baby' stage of my spiritual toddlerhood!  (Don't you LOVE that analogy!??)

I used to feel stuck in the muck of those negative circular thoughts. I sorta did again these past couple weeks. Honestly, though, it was chosen... as it always is. I was just much more consciously rebellious this time around. I'm so glad and so very thankful that God gives us ample opportunities to change... and provided our Savior that we may endure in change through Him and hope for a future in Their presence!

There are lots of other ways I used to be that I'm able to see great growth (especially during difficult times). But these suffice for now. :)

Even Though I'm Not Worthy....

2011-08-18T11:15:00.001-04:00

I know I am less than the dust of the earth because the dust will go when Father says. I dicker and dither and don't right away. I'm a fallible human, for sure!

Even though I know I'm not worthy, I know the Lord loves me and I'm so grateful!!! I'm so grateful for the ways He shows me of His Love! And how He desires to help me look up from the muck of life through which I'm trudging to see the beautiful sky, clouds, birds, rainbows, and all other wonderful things He has in store for my view when I stop focusing on the immediate mess.

As a result of the negative circular thinking of the month (or just less) after my LA trip, I was feelin blue. Down and sad and all that jazz.

Father God was knocking with lovliness this last little while. I know He was showing me of His Love that I might refuse to focus on the muck through which I walk and, rather, look to all else He has provided (and remember that the muck is fertilizer for the future!

Father showed me He loved me by inspiring my husband to drop in at the house to get a deposit envelope so he could mail his earnings AND take the time to apologize to me for something; on Friday (8-12).

Heavenly Father showed me He loved me when my friend (who I'd been trying to visit with for the preivious 4 days) was able to come visit and listen to me blubber about problems and talk "adult;" on Monday (8-15).

He showed me He loved me by inspiring my hubby called to thank me for my work as wife, Mama, homeschool administrator, housekeeper (and all other jobs I must fulfill) AND apologize for something.

Our Father showed me He loved me when two previous Sister missionaries and one Elder wanted to and then did come to visit me on Tuesday!

He showed me He loved me when He arranged things such that I got to go the temple in the morning and then spend a lot more time than I expected with a dear friend on Wednesday.

He showed me He loved me when He inspired another previous Sister Missionary to come by for a visit with her new husband!

These are some of the "bigger" things in my little life that I recognize as tender mercies of the Lord and ways that He is showing me that He is mindful of me. He wants us all to feel of His Peace and Love. "Men are that they might have joy." It's true today as ever!

I know, of course, that The Atonement is THE greatest gift for which we all should be endlessly grateful! These little things are simply special for my little life. :)

Thankful Thursday, Week of August 11 to 17, 2011

2011-08-17T22:18:00.018-04:00

Thursday, August 11, 2011: I'm thankful for time at home during which I was able to get a good bit of writing done.

Friday, August 12, 2011: I'm thankful for food from my church. It was our last pick-up. We sure are going to miss seeing Brother Kelly every other Friday!

Saturday, August 13, 2011: I'm thankful for the time I was able to write another Lesson of Life that needed to get out TODAY. I'm also glad I was able to attend a sweet lady's baptism. I was able to talk to her hubby and hopefully he'll be working for Jessie soon!

Sunday, August 14, 2011: I'm thankful for John. Today is his birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad (PopPop)!!!!!) John is extremely important to me. He is my Jessie's Dad. Without John living his life the way he did, my Jessie could not be the man he is. Although Jessie is not as perfect as many believe him to be, he is an amazing man. So, Dad G., I'm SO grateful to and for you!!! I'm grateful for the son you've raised to be my man and Daddy to our babies. WE LOVE YOU!!!!!

Monday, August 15, 2011: I'm thankful for another trip to Orlando to meet the other exchange student I will be helping and her family. Another Norwegian. How fun!

Tuesday, August 16, 2011: I'm thankful for Visiting Teaching and the opportunities to spend time with wonderful ladies that the assignment to visit teach create! I love the ladies the Lord has assigned me to be friends with!!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011: I'm thankful for my Jessie's consistency in helping me and willingness to help me attend the temple regularly! I'm thankful for a first 4-H meeting with wonderful ladies and their kiddos! We're going to have such a good time!

Thankful Thursday Week of August 4 to 10

2011-08-10T21:56:00.002-04:00

Thursday, August 4, 2011: I'm thankful for a dear friend who loves me enough to speak her mind and fortify me in belief in myself and Faith AND utter words straight from the Lord to challenge me to do that which I've neglected doing for fear and lack of self-confidence.

Friday, August 5, 2011: I'm thankful for some exciting progress in writing a story I've been only half-trying to write for many years now. It's moving right along so far! ^_^ Now I just need to make time to SIT and write on it as much as possible each day!

Saturday, August 6, 2011: I'm thankful for whispers of the Holy Spirit* that prompted me to check on flight info for one of my exchange students. She arrives the 8th! and I didn't find out until today!

Sunday, August 7, 2011: I'm thankful for Fast and Testimony meetings, wonderful lessons prepared by diligent teachers, sweet kiddos who love the Lord and want to do the right, and an awesome dinner with Missionaries of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Monday, August 8, 2011: I'm thankful for the sweet woman my brother Ben married and their lovely and amazing eldest daughter. Kirsten turns THREE today! I can hardly believe it. She's one of the "quads" born within 5 months of one another. My Tea has a slew of cousins within a few months of her age! HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIRSTEN!!!! We LOVE you!!!! I'm also grateful for the opportunity to meet one of the foreign exchange students I'm responsible for communicating with for my job with ICES and her host family. It's going to be such a fun year!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011: I'm thankful for my Dad. Today is his birthday. (HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dad!!!) I'm glad he's here for another one. My Dad would've died a few years ago if he was HIS Dad. I'm hopeful that we may grow closer and build bridges of understanding and love with this time granted us all with him (you), granted us of the Lord! I'm also grateful for the time I was able to spend with a dear friend and her children today. We are going to be a 4H club together!!! I'm so excited for my kids AND for the gift of spending more time with my friend!

Wednesday, August 10, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home to write some more on the story the Lord is urging me to get out of my head.

*The Holy Ghost (Holy Spirit) and Personal Revelation
AND a talk by Elder Bednar about the Holy Spirit

Thankful Thursday, Week of July 28 - August 3, 2011

2011-08-05T13:52:00.000-04:00

Check out EDUCATING EVELYN to join a link-up for Thankful Thursday! Let's shine some light in the darknened world!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home to rest and try to get things in order.

Friday, July 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the food we have been blessed to receive of the church and thankful for the comfort, peace, and nourishment it has provided through this time of difficulty in joblessness and underemployment.

Saturday, July 30, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home.

Sunday, July 31, 2011: I'm thankful for gifts from a sweet family as they prepare to move. I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend time with our Ward Family and enjoy food together. I'm so grateful for the blessing of working with a friend on her life story!

Monday, August 1, 2011: I'm thankful for the job Jessie started today. I'm glad he's happy with it and pray it will be a long-time position.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011: I'm thankful for the lunches we've enjoyed with Jess during his break between shifts at work.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to watch the last Harry Potter movie.

A Mother's Ten Commandments

2011-07-31T00:41:00.000-04:00

Thou shalt know that God selected these children for you, and you for them, for a special reason.

Thou shalt remember how to be a child again–laugh, play, sing, dance, pretend.

Thou shalt not worry about messy faces and places.

Thou shalt pray daily for patience, energy and strength.

Thou shalt affirm thy children’s feelings, but be firm with their behavior.

Thou shalt instill in them respect for you, themselves and others.

Thou shalt give thy children roots–grounding them in faith and tradition.

Thou shalt give thy children wings–teaching them how to fly on their own.

Thou shalt show and tell them you love them every day.

Thou shalt entrust them into the Father’s hands.

Found on: http://www.naturalfamilyawareness.com/parenting/ and LOVE it! Wanted to find it easily so decided to post it here. Now... bed.

Thankful Thursday: Week Beginning July 20

2011-07-27T11:56:00.000-04:00

Thursday, July 20, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home to prepare for the arrival of my brothers and their families.

Friday, July 21, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift of having SO much of my family in my home. What a joy!!! I'm grateful for the cool weather brought by the rain.

Saturday, July 22, 2011: I'm thankful for the time we were all able to spend at one of the Springs near us. It was FUN. I'm also thankful for the dinner my brothers treated us to at a local BBQ place which we enjoyed thoroughly.

Sunday, July 23, 2011: I'm thankful for my family's visit! I'm glad I was able to get to church, though I did miss taking the Sacrament. I'm also thankful for the visit we enjoyed with our new Elder and Sister Missionaries.

Monday, July 24, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day during which I rested and cleaned and prepared for FHE at Gramy and Grampy's house.

Tuesday, July 25, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day spent all at home. It was so nice to not worry about leaving or anyone coming all day. YEAY! I'm grateful for Jessie's desire to be of service to others. He worked for two households and performed many good works. I'm grateful for his Christ-heartedness.

Wednesday, July 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the meeting Jess had with our new boss. I'm just sorry that we have to wait until Monday for him to start. Just another delay in being able to discontinue church assistance. I'm grateful that we've had it and been ABLE to have it, but I want us to pay our own way again!

Thankful Thursday: Week Beginning July 14

2011-07-27T11:42:00.000-04:00

Thursday, July 14, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day of rest while my girls enjoyed movies. I'm grateful to have had some time to spend with my Aunt Barbara. She is a TREASURE!

Friday, July 15, 2011: I'm thankful for the time I was able to spend with my Mom at her Mom's house.

Saturday, July 16, 2011: I'm thankful for the Memorial for my Grandpa. It was a good and enjoyable event.

Sunday, July 17, 2011: I'm thankful for a sweet girl named Molly. She was the only one in the Ward I was visiting to approach me and introduce herself. SUCH a kind young woman! I'm grateful for the opportunity to drive around with my Mom and see the town of her youth.

Monday, July 18, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to have a good talk with my youngest sibling (brother) and then an outing to New Orleans with all my brothers and their families. What a GOOD day.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011: I'm thankful for an ejoyable and restful day at my Uncle Mark and Aunt Barbara's house. It was a pleasure to be in their home. I'm SO grateful to two of my brothers, their hard work and the gifts they provided to repair and renew my van. My van now has tires fit for travel, windows that go up and down at the touch of a button, and buttons that are situates properly in the door. They did so much for me and my family in their desire to help me/us and there are not enough words of thanks to explain my gratitude! I'm grateful for the time I was able to spend with my sisters-in-love and talk and share and hopefully repair some of the pain of life.

Wednesday, July 19, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet evening at home to rest from the LONG trip home. I left Tuesday night around 9pm (10pm FL time) and got hom around 1:10pm Florida time. It was a rough trip. Thankfully the trip TO Louisiana was MUCH easier!

I'm so grateful to all those in my family who joined us for our morning and evening Devotionals. It is STILL a tremendous joy to me... the feelings of being bound in Unity and Love with those who joined to worship our Lord and Savior with us during those few days/times we had together. THANK YOU!!!!

Thankful Thursday Week of July 7, 2011

2011-07-27T11:29:00.000-04:00

Thursday, July 7, 2011: I'm thankful for busy and productive days. I'm grateful for a phone call and a subsequent gift of something I need and something I radomly thought would be nice to have! :) I'm glad for the girls' first rabbit business purchase! I'm thankful for the opportunity to attend a dear friend's baby shower. :)

Friday, July 8, 2011: I'm thankful for difficult times and the blessings that result from them. I'm grateful that the girls have reason to trust me more as their business manager and hope that they will abide the lesson in the future! I'm grateful for the opportunity to better understand promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Saturday, July 9, 2011: I'm thankful for a good Orange-ade Stand day... spur of the moment to make it two for the week even though we were rained out the day before. I'm grateful to be able to make it for the end of two sweet girls' baptisms!

Sunday, July 10, 2011: I'm thankful for a really amazing Bishop! I'm grateful for sweet sisters in Relief Society!!

Monday, July 11, 2011: I'm thankful for conflic resolution and the prayers of a friend. Peace IS priceless!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home before my trip to Louisiana.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity and gift of the blessing of going to Lousiana for a family reunion/memorial. (We leave/left around 9pm.)

Thankful Thursday Week of June 30, 2011

2011-07-07T08:00:00.043-04:00

Visit EDUCATING EVELYN to link-up with your own Thankful Thursday!

Thursday, June 30, 2011: I'm thankful for the rain! I'm thankful for a day at home to do lots of things. I'm grateful for Jessie's work. I'm so glad Ria LOVES baking class so much. She is progressing REALLY well now! I'm so pleased. :)

Friday, July 1, 2011: I'm thankful for all the wonder customers the girls enjoyed today. Ms. Alena, Mr. Gale, and Mr. Bill in particular because they each came by twice. Ms. Chelsea was their first customer and SO kind. We also enjoyed visits from four neighbors (two couples), which surprised and pleased us all. We are so thankful for the generosity and encouragement of strangers, neighbors, and friends! Ria and I stayed up late to place her order for homeschool supplies. She is VERY excited to have a new package of study materials arriving before too long. Her greatest excitement is over her Science: Anatomy and Physiology (for the young crowd) by Apologia Science.

Saturday, July 2, 2011: I'm thankful for the energy I felt which enabled me to get my house more in oder in preparation for the Sabbath. It feels GOOD to come home to an orderly home!

Sunday, July 3, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Bishop who fit us in without advance notice.

Monday, July 4, 2011: I'm SO thankful to be born in the USA. I'm grateful for the freedoms I'm ABLE to take for granted, but which I also strive to be mindful of and work to protect. I'm grateful for service men and women who become the property of the USA so that we may remain free. I pray God's guidance and protection to all our leaders and EVERY person here that we may continue to enjoy the freedoms our forefathers worked so hard to preserve for us! I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend some time with my Ward Family. AND I'm blessed beyond measure to feel so loved by all of my family when I extend my hand in need. Family ROCKS! ^_^

Tuesday, July 5, 2011: I'm thankful for a meeting with my Bishop on Sunday, which has relieved me of some burden and decreased some heart-achey-ness. I'm thankful for the opportunity to speak with someone I met via a Craigslist Ad... someone who already feels like a friend. :)

Wednesday, July 6, 2011: I'm thankful for the customers who stopped at the girls' Orange-ade Stand. We had a good time! :)

Today

2011-07-01T23:45:00.000-04:00

My girls have completed their 9th week of their Orange-ade Stand. They are pleased with it and excited to continue. I think Ria is particularly happy about it lately because it means she gets to have more time working on her baking class. She LOVES to bake so far! She's graduated out of cake mix cookies AND peanut butter cookies. She'll probalby move on to some sort of rolled out cookie dough next. She's also close to finished with muffins (from scratch) and bread (kneaded in the Kitchen Aid, though). She's making SUCH good progress!!!
Today was a good day at their Orange-ade Stand. They had a number of repeat customers who came for the first time today and then came back again. :) What fun for all of us! Two couples of our neighbors dropped by and frequented the girls' Stand. That was a treat, too.

Ria and I spent some time tonight working on the Homeschool Supplies order. Ria is SO excited that she's been able to choose her books!! She's going to study Anatomy and Physiology for Science. That is the subject over which she is most excited. She's also going to be doing Math, History (Ancient Romans), Spanish, Piano, Poetry, Grammar, and Business and Economics (via their Orange-ade Stand and other businesses to follow). So, we are all excited about new books to arrive in the next couple weeks! :)

I'm thinking a bit about how the Lord uses difficulties to make us what He would have us be. I'm sure this is, in large part, because I'm feeling the "grind" of some of my own difficulties.

There's this comparison of us to a clay pot in the master potter's hands. I'm sure you've heard it before. Our Lord forms us and then places us in a fire (kiln) to finish us. To test whether we are finished or not, he takes us out of the kiln and thumps us. If we thud, we are put back in the fire to finish. When we are finished, He will thump us and we will sing. To my way of thinking, the "sing" is referring to literal singing in praise, but also simply to thankfulness for the test or thump.

I don't know about you, but it seems like maybe I get all screwy when I'm put in the fire. So Father God takes me out and sees that I'm not right (formed as He wanted me to be), so He drops me to the ground to smash me up, then picks up those pieces and proceeds to grind me into powder so that he can add water,stir me into the correct consistency and then proceed to begin anew the process of forming (spinning on a wheel as in the movie Ghost or building me via slabs or coils or whatnot). Perhaps this is a bit extreme... but it definitely feels like it fits in these last few weeks.

Either that OR perhaps I just keep on NOT singing right when He takes me out of the fire, so then He puts me into hotter and hotter fires... probably that's more correct. That's more reasonable, for sure. But it sure FEELS the other way lately.

I'm also feeling frustrated about other people's opinions when expressed as if they are THE way rather than an opinion. I was just told today that every child needs to go to public school so that they could be socialized. I gave my opinion in return. Of course, though, I was wrong because I'm "so young." Seriously? Well, I have news for anyone who thinks I'm wrong for my children in our family... in essence, you are saying our God is wrong because ultimately HE is the reason we homeschool.

It would certainly be MUCH easier in SO many ways to put our children in public school.... but every time I have asked our God, He has directed that we should continue on course: homeschool. And so I do and will.

These children do NOT suffer with or from any socialization problems or issues. They are able to be far more social than most children in public schools. They do not sit locked in a desk for somewhere around 6 hours each day; required to be silent and work. They are not threatened with silent lunches when the lunch room gets too loud (though I do require a quiet time each day, but that is because I know my children need naps and/or alone time).

My greatest concern over other people's opinions is that when they are expressed the way the one was today, they obviously think I am doing something WRONG. And in my experience with such individuals, they want to prove to me how wrong I am. :( I do hope that this particular person is just expressing their opinion in a strong manner and will NOT try to hurt me or my family to prove me/us wrong. Another example of the increase in the heat of my fire lately. And, honestly, this isn't one of the greater of the increases in temp!

Thankful Thursday Week of June 23, 2011

2011-06-30T08:00:00.008-04:00

Head on over to EDUCATING EVELYN to participate in a Thankful Thursday Link-Up!

Thursday, June 23, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home without outside obligations. I'm grateful for my girls hard work and their tolerance of me on my bad-mama days.

Friday, June 24, 2011: I'm thankful for all the sweet guys and one sweetie lady who stopped to buy some orange-ade and other goodies from my girls today. :) They made some good money and had some really good experiences. It's SUCH a pleasure to fascilitate this learning environment for my girls!!! I'm SO grateful for the work Jess was able to occupy himself with today (working for a friend) and earning some money.

Saturday, June 25, 2011: I'm thankful for the work Jess was able to do. I'm grateful for the sweet friends who are using him as much as they can (and maybe even a little more)!

Sunday, June 26, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Ward family, for wonderful hugs (especially one from a dear sister I Visit Teach!), and wonderful Sisters who are so very supportive and loving.

Monday, June 27, 2011: I'm thankful for a sister. She had her birthday today and I cannot remember how old she turned... either 28 or 29... I was either preggie with my #1 or had only 1 one year old at those ages respectively. She has 2, exactly two years apart and is an amazing woman! I'm thankful for the work Jessie was able to do to earn money today. I'm so grateful for those of my Sisters who were able to come over and help in specific ways to lift up my hanging hands. Because I only just learned some upsetting news, I'm especially grateful for their presence and loving service. I'm thankful for the understanding and compassion of others of my Sisters who go to Park Day for forgiving me my double booking myself. I'm not with it, ladies. That's all there is to it. I'm thankful for FHE with Gramy and Grampy Marks. Their FHEs rock!

Tuesday, June 28, 2011: I'm thankful for the sweet reception we received when we called to wish an Uncle a HAPPY BIRTHDAY! We hope it was a joyful day!!! I'm grateful for the blessing of being able to help a friend with something she cannot physically do herself. Today it was particularly special and gratifying to be of service after feeling SO needy and being SO served yesterday! I got to spend lots of time with my friend, which is a huge gift to me! I'm grateful to know of some of the inner workings of Ward leadership who have worked together to Love one of our own by providing temporally. It's such a gift and blessing to me to know SOME of the work of those leaders AND to know their effect on the wonderful person who received of their Love! I'm so GLAD and grateful that Ria enjoys baking classes with me SO much. I'm beginning to feel a renewal of my enjoyment and even Love of baking (and kitchen creating) that I experienced as a young woman as a result of my sweet Ria joyful Kitchen demeanor!!!

Wednesday, June 29, 2011: I'm thankful for the kindness of strangers and some who are becoming friends. We had FOUR repeat customers today and are beginning to learn their names. What FUN to enable my girls to have a business! They are blossoming in totally new ways and SO excited about their prospects. :) I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work. He found a spot where he will be able to collect wood. Right now (as of today's work), he has collected enough wood to get another couple fence panels up AND build out some (if not all) of the girls' first rabbit hutch. HOW EXCITING, right!?? :)

Giving Even When We Lack

2011-06-29T00:24:00.001-04:00

My Mom said it the other day in Facebook. She was responding to someone when she quoted one of our favorite songs: "Because I Have Been Given Much," which goes: "Because I have been given much, I too must give. Because of thy great bounty, Lord, each day I live. I shall divide my gifts from Thee with every brother that I see, Who has the need of help from me." I've been thinking about this theme a LOT more in the last couple or few weeks.

Almost two weeks ago we picked up food from our church. It doesn't feel good to be in such need. I've been struggling very much with being so needy lately. But there is a certain comraderie among those of us who are struggling to obviously. One sister and her daughter helped me load my van and commented on the pineapple. She mentioned that she hadn't ordered a fruit in season cause you never know what you're going to get, but they love pineapple and she wished she had. I figured it was God's food anyway (and isn't ALL of it!), AND I had two, so why not give her one of 'em! So, I did. She was SO happy! And she told me that she'd given one of her milks to someone who had inadvertently not placed an order for milk. How NEAT is that? And we're all of us there in some pretty serious financial LACK. But we're still givinging and sharing with one another! What a joy to know and experience!!!!

Not only have I been in financial need (and it's getting more alarming as we keep on cause though Jess has had some work (I pray the Lord will BLESS our friend who has employed him so frequently!) we're getting further behind), but I've felt rather beat down emotionally and some mentally, too, as a result of certain... events. I cannot explain here because I would end up speaking poorly about another person. Feeling the horribleness is far too much. I should not have spoken any, I am trying NOT to speak any more of it. The result is the same, though... I've been feeling like pooh.

Well, remember how the Lord figuratively cornered me and told me I had to ask for help otherwise the pretty words I'd spoken to a friend who needed help were just pretty words and not me living the truths I was speaking? Well yall, I'm living 'em!! Seriously. It's probably one of the most emotionally difficult things I've actively done. And I totally had a way out of actually DOing anything. But the Spirit kept prodding and pushing me to SPEAK my need. Let me tell you... NOT easy. NOT comfy. NOT... LOTS of things. But I did it. (pouting child that I am) And the help came. FOUR sisters and one young man who ALL worked to help me. They did it with cheerful countenances and sweaty brows and upper lips (cause we don't AC 'round here ya know!). *sigh* And they were SO kind and so VERY loving in all they did!!! I'm so very grateful and feel an ever stronger urgency to serve so that I may Love others in kind!!

So, I did some today. I helped with something that was not urgent, but was desired. I did something my friend could not physically do and it felt GOOD. Of course, I also got to spend time with a wonderful person and talk and learn. So, really, I think I benefited far more than any good I did (which was FAR less than it shoulda been cause Jimmy was a bit needy). And I gave from my lack. I've been lacking cheerfulness, but I feel cheered after receiving and giving! I've lacked feeling the Hope I had been feeling before the really rough patch of last week... but now I feel truly LIFTED!

There is a song I love on z88.3 that says, "Before my God fall on my knees, And rise, I will rise." It's a God thing: how such seeming contradictions happen. They can. They DO! Like the whole: in giving you have more. That's not as obviously possible in the temporal world, but in the Spiritual... it's almost (if not) immediate!!! What a GIFT to experience it!!!

So, obviously, I believe that giving is important even if I think I'm the needy one. In giving I'm more, so I can handle more... or, more likely, it's handled for me by virtue of the death-to-self thing. Our God IS an AWESOME God!

And since I've been sharing some of our favorite songs, I figure I might as well share some more! ^_^ HERE is another one. It is another worship songs we love to hear on the radio entitled: Our God is Greater. Apparently we really like Chris Tomlin! ;) I had no idea until now that we so thoroughly enjoy SO many of his song. And HERE is another of his, which we enjoy on the radio. And LEAD ME by Sanctus Real is still a huge fave on the radio! And THIS one is the one I think of when I think the phrase, "Our God is an Awesome God!" Another GOOD song. :)

On Requesting (or accepting) Service

2011-06-25T15:00:00.000-04:00

So, the other day I was speaking to a really wonderful lady. She has just had a surgery and must take some time to rest and heal. I'm Compassionate Service Leader in my Ward and so I was asking her what I could gather our Sister (the ladies in our Ward) together that we might do to help her while she is less able and in recovery. She welcomed meals, which is kind of standard operating proceedure when someone is going through a rough patch. We of the LDS faith LOVE to bring in food. Well, at least I do! It just makes everything more endurable, doesn't it? Good food. Delivered by a smiling Brother or Sister! It's basically LOVE in physical form! :)

Well, during the course of the conversation I was trying to ascertain any other need and did. But when I asked for permission to schedule Sisters to come in and meet those needs I met resistance. And I feel that same way! But I spoke of what I believe. What do I believe? I'm glad you asked!

I believe that Father God blesses us with weak times so that those around us may gather together to strengthen and fortify us. In my mind I see it as a chain. Each link gets a chance to be weak. What is meant to happen is that when the chain knows a link is weak, they bunch up around that weak link and give of themselves until the weak link is strong. Then, the chain is stretched out and it is ALL strong. Now, this wouldn't work QUITE this way in the solely temporal world, but Spiritually, when we give Love away (in any of it's various forms, including Service), there is actually MORE Love in the giver than there was before the giving. I know you know it. It's a God thing. ;)

So, I said all these nice words. And I TRULY believe them. And my Sister was slightly swayed. I told her I would give her about 2 days to think about it and get comfy at home and then let me know when she would allow the "cleaning party" of Sisters to come.

During that same time the Spirit was working on me. Almost constantly for 2 days. You see, I'm having a hard time myself. Things look just fine from the outside. I'm able to feel Peaceful and even happy out and about and even at home when certain things are where they should be... namely one person I will leave unnamed. But if you come to my home... some days everything looks good. Generally, the livingroom is in order most of the time. The kitchen and dining room are, too, for the most part. Even the kids' toy room is quite ok. Sometimes toys are out and about and all, but that's what a TOY room is for, right!? The computer room is a bit messy, but that's really only because I haven't figured out where to put things... where they belong. However, if you were allowed to walk down the hall and into my bedroom, which, for the most part, is not allowed because we have a thing about bedrooms... you would see my need plain as day. My need is, currently, in the form of MOUNTAINS of laundry. Literally. Okay, maybe they are small mountains. But mountains they be. Especially considering that I was keeping laundry COMPLETELY done for a good while (including after Jimmy's birth).

Having a hubby unemployed and home really just sets a girl off track. It just does. Maybe it doesn't for YOU. But it HAS and DOES for me. I'm not proud of this, but it is what it is thus far. I'm hoping to overcome this problem, but it has not happened thus far so I just have to deal. Right?

Well, that's the subject about which the Spirit was working on me. Finally toward the end of the second day, I realized that my words were pretty words, but until I did something different than what I was doing, they were just words and did not reflect who I really AM in deed. So, I'm feeling Led. I am going to get permission and all, but my plan is to stand before my Sisters in Relief Society tomorrow and invite them to a cleaning party at my house. Mostly it'll actually be a laundry folding party. But I do also have a really pretty couch and chair, new-to-me, which are dirty and with which I need help (I've already scrubbed the chair at least two times and it still need scrubbing and I've only started on one arm rest on the couch and it still needs SCRUBBING)... so I'll be asking for help with cleaning those, too. Father has laid it heavy on my heart that if I expect others to ask for and/or accept help, then I need to do what I'm asking them to do. Now, generally, they will not have to do what I'm being told to do. They will not have to ask for help for themselves. And let me tell you. I am completely dreading it. I've got my Pride. But Father is saying I should not. So He is guiding me to submit and humble myself and ask for help with that which I cannot seem to manage currently.

And why can't I manage it?? Jess is home, afterall! HE should be able to help, shouldn't he? Well, one would think so. But, you see, there are ALL these jobs around the outside of the house that need done. And I literally canNOT handle all of it. So, he's either been job hunting (computer or out and about) or working on the fence or working outside in some other way. Also, it's much better for him to NOT be in the house. Especially lately. I'm not going to go there, but TRUST me.

Heck, I should be doing it right NOW instead of writing. In my head, though... if you were or could be in my head, you would understand why I do this and not that. :( Not a good reason, but there it is.

Others, about other people, might say: They have a husband and an older/adult child at home. Those two (or however many) can totally handle it together. Yes, they SHOULD be able to handle it, more than likely. BUT, wouldn't you acknowledge that, even in YOUR life, SHOULD and what really DOES happen are really far divergent over some things at some time or another? I mean, I SHOULD exercise EVERY day and I SHOULD eat mostly veggies. DO I do those things? Ummm... I want to. I mean to. But no. I do not. Isn't there something in your life like this?

I can say, unquivolcally, that we canNOT know what is going on with those others who SHOULD be able to carry the burden that they are not carrying well. So, do we allow our Sister to be burdened in an unweildy weight, or do we step in and lift up her hanging hands? Do we sit in our currently comfortable life and think. "She should be able to handle it. I've handled the very same situation in my life just fine. She'll be able to handle it. I did. I'm sure she can! I'll let her handle it." I know, and you know, that we have been charged with doing some lifting rather than judging. So, let's get to and DO! Let's identify and then step in to make life easier for someone else. I'm sure that our own life will be easier on our mind and heart - even if our difficulties truly ARE greater than those we perceive in another.

About Birth

2011-06-25T12:02:00.000-04:00

Women are made to make babies and give birth. We just are. Period. End of story. But not.

The etablishment has brought uncalled for amounts of fear into the process because it LOOKS for problems. Problems that are, admittedly, possible, but not necessarily probable. Labor to get our baby does not have to be painful. Mine have been to one degree or another, but that was not necessary. I know this absolutely because in my last experience I had discomfort (the kind resulting from hard work), but not pain through the majority of my laboring to birth Jimmy. I ended up in pain because I stopped working hard on maintainging my Faith OVER fear. The pain came furious then and I had a good bunch of hours of almost constant pain (since I was stuck at 8cm dilated because Jimmy was acyclitic). Birth is not MEANT to be painful. If it was, then men would be MEANT to have pain in eating... and/or in doing all that is required to get to the point of eating.

We're good strong women, aren't we? We can handle basically everything that comes our way. We desire to keep our temple bodies clean and pure from all the things that we could otherwise use to make our way easier... UNLESS, of course, you're talking about labor to deliver our babies... and then so many women say: "Give me the drugs, give me the epidural!! I don't know and I don't care what kind of effect it could have on my child! I don't care that I could end up parlayzed!! I just don't want to have any pain in labor!" And I say, then focus on God and use your Faith to push out fear and become an overcomer!

I am in awe that SO many STRONG women are so willing and ready to "give up" when it comes to labor. They even desire to give up before they've begun because they don't WANT to experience what they've heard it could end up being. WHY!!??? Even if the process was a nightmare of constant pain to get your baby, you know that pain will end at a very specific point: BIRTH!

And don't you know, the more interventions, the more likely there will be more and greater interventions. C-section anyone? That's FULL ON surgery. And I truly believe that deceiver has in mind that C-Sections become THE way to have children because then he wins in limiting family size right off the bat. There are not many uteruses that can handle being cut more than three times. Regardless of how many Spirits the Mama and/or Daddy promised to bring to the earth in their pre-existance.

Finally, giving birth is part of fulfilling the measure of our creation. Giving birth under influence of drugs does NOT satisfy. Look at it how you will, you do NOT know how much you can do until you have given birth completely naturally (and especially true if birthing in Hospital because at home it's SO much easier!). Even a marathoner, who has run several, will be amazed and empowered by her womanhood when she endures and comes successfully through natural childbirth. I'm sure of it cause I know one.

I know labor is difficult. Trust me. I KNOW. But it DOES end. The trickiest part is that we don't know WHEN it will... that's the kicker that makes it most difficult. But neither do when know when lots of things will end. But we still do 'em. Like life. And, for the most part, we don't go around in a drug-enduced pain-free short-term paralysis to avoid the difficulties and trials we encounter in life. Sure, plenty do. Both legal and illegal. But I truly believe MOST of us do not. So why do it for a MUCH shorter difficult period: labor?

Of course, I DO understand that there are extinuating circumstances: like emergent C-Sections after extended labors. My Mom had one. The baby came out 11 pounds 13 ounces. Yeah, maybe that was really necessary. Perhaps, though, that babe was simply acyclitic and could've been born naturally if the Doc had known to suggest certain positions during contractions. Who knows. Under the circumstances of the birth that was, it was an emergency C-Section.

However, if our Heavenly Father has directed you to have #1 a planned C-Section, or #2 an epidural... and you are completely assured that your discernment is clear AND your husband has verified this plan of action under guidance of the Spirit... then THAT's ALL you gotta tell a girl like me. Cause if Father God says so, HE's the last word any of us needs.

But make sure your hubby is completely supportive. Perhaps he feels powerless to advocate for the child you carry because you carry it in YOUR body. He may not be thrilled with the whole "automatic drug acceptance and even request" that may be your plan. Unfortunately, we live in a time and culture that does not cherish and esteem our Patriarchs. But we have commited, by marriage, to hear our husband's council. And, I believe, to hear the word of the Lord through our husbands when they are in righteousness and speaking under Guidance of our Father.

So, that's what I think about that.

If you got all the way to the bottom here, thank you for reading. There will be a test later. ;) not really

Thankful Thursday Week of June 16th

2011-06-22T22:18:00.002-04:00

Make sure to pop over to EDUCATING EVELYN to join Thankful Thursday Link-Up! ^_^ It's such a pleasure and joy to keep track of the things and events for which I need to be thankful. And to share it here is, to my way of thinking, just another way I might be able to shine forth the Light of Christ and draw others to Him! You know ya wanna do it, too!!! ;)

Thursday, June 16, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift and blessing of being able to go to the temple as a family. The afternoon of this day was a big test for me. I was accused of thinking I'm more righteous than everyone around me. This is also something for which I'm grateful because I have been very introspective and watchful of my motives since the accusation (writing a few days since the experience).... I have also prayerfully considered this accusation. I have come to understand even more fully the truth of the sin it is to rely upon the arm of the flesh. Also, I have come, once again, to experience the truth that when someone hurls an accusation at me in anger, the accusation really has more to do with the accuser (in some way and on some level) than it has to do with who I am and my character. Certainly didn't help to think and know this truth when the accusation was hurled, though! But the Peace in my heart and mind has come in much fuller and faster than ever before. Also, though, the Peace has rushed in in large part, THANKS to a WISE friend's words spoken in the Spirit. Thank you, sweet Friend.

Friday, June 17, 2011: I'm thankful for food. I'm thankful for a second day of work for Jessie. I'm also DEEPLY thankful for the test that resulted in the timing of the offer of work to Jessie. We were planning for him to go pick up our food. I received a phone call offering him some work.
we were supposed to be in place to pick up our food at 9am. The call arrived at 8am. The decision for Jess to work was made and I was up and getting 4 kids and me ready to go at 817am. We were only a tiny bit late... and the truck was later, so it was sorta like we were on time! ;) I'm so thankful for my girls' continuing desire to earn money for their homeschool supplies. I'm amazed by the blessing of and thankful for the opportunity I have to go and do Visiting Teaching. I'm grateful for the sacrifice my sister (and her family!) made tonight. My sweet sister works outside of her home and enjoys (and needs) quiet evenings to rest and even sleep, but she allowed me to come visit her. It ended up being a delightful family visit! She and her family are just WONDERFUL!

Saturday, June 18, 2011: I'm thankful for a third day of work for Jessie this week. I'm grateful for the opportunities Father is providing to make me ever more flexible. It's very difficult for me (in my natural self to have things changed up without notice), but increasingly it is becoming easier. I attribute this to the changes Christ is bringing about in my very nature as I turn to Him with desire to truly BE His! It's hard work (this letting go of "my" dross!), but TOTALLY worth it! :)

Sunday, June 19, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to honor Jessie on this day in an even more focused way than we try to do each day of the rest of the year. I'm grateful that he's really so easy to please and willing to support me in the things I feel Led to do. His "gift" this year was two cans of saurkraut. Some of which kraut we ate with chili cheese hot dogs with onions and condiments on em. He was well pleased. :) He also enabled me to go to my friend's home to work on compiling her life story. I was there for 6.5 hours and in that time we almost doubled the writing I'd done over the two previous times we'd been able to work on it! ^_^

Monday, June 20, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work to become gainfully employed. I'm so grateful that he is striving to understand the Word of the Lord. I'm SO glad to have such sweet girls as I have. (Of course we DO have our problems.) But they were just really WONDERFUL about going to Park Day and ending up as the only ones from church there. They still had a wonderful time and they were wonderful together. I'm grateful I'm their Mama and they are my daughters!!! Jimmy was wonderful, too... he slept both ways in the van, which was a huge gift cause he didn't fuss or scream at all! He's a darling boy! ^_^ I'm thankful for the lovely evening we spent with a friend and the awesome dinner she made all of us and the sweet gift she gave us for FHE!! We will enjoy leftovers from dinner and making use of her gift to us FOR SURE!! I'm also thankful for a heart-felt apology from the person who hurled the accusation. What a sweet added balm to the healing I'd been feeling as a result of turning to and relying on Christ Atonement.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's determination to pursue the job leads he learns about and how very diligent he has been without any coaxing! I'm thankful for the visit with friends and our Missionaries. It was an unexpected visit in which they delivered green beans and a cucumber. Yum! We're so grateful to be so loved! And I continue to feel thankful for the "difficulty" of learning to be flexible! :)

Wednesday, June 22, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work in the blistering heat to put up our fence, his efforts to figure something out to contain our roosters so our neighbors don't kill 'em, and then his endurance in heading off to work for a loving Sister who have provided Jess with some work (lifting and moving heavy stuff after his hard work at home, WHAT A MAN!!!)! I'm also grateful that my girls love their business so much. They were SO excited to get to do an extra Orange-ade Stand today! I'm so glad because they made more money today than they've made at any other single orange-ade stand!!! I'm so thankful to all those individuals who stopped by to purchase orange-ade and other goodies from our girls. :) We had a REALLY enjoyable time!!!

The Fire; My Fire

2011-06-21T13:56:00.001-04:00

Burning hurts. I'm not even talking about the burns I've experienced in my tabernacle body. But I'm grateful! I'm thankful that the Lord knows my strengths and weaknessses and knows the exact temperature to which He raises my purifying fire so that He may burn out of me the dross that I've only ever thought was part of me. Part of me, it surely has been, but it should not there remain. And He knows it. I'm so thankful for a Loving Father in Heaven who is guiding my life journey and providing all. God is GREAT! He is the Master of my Story! I praise Him for His goodness, His guidance, and His tender care!!

I Believe In Christ

2011-06-15T22:29:00.000-04:00

Thankful Thursday Week of June 9th

2011-06-15T08:12:00.000-04:00

Thursday, June 9, 2011: I'm thankful for the blessing of being able to do Visiting Teaching without kiddos. I'm grateful for all the work my Sisters do without any acknowldgement in the world. I'm grateful for the Restored Gospel of Christ in my life!

Friday, June 10, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work in our home and in efforts to find work to sustain us as we seek to fulfill the Lord's plan for us! I'm so GLAD that my girls are excited about this week's orange-ade stand after last week's REALLY poor sales! I'm prayerfully hoping that things will be better this week!

Saturday, June 11, 2011: I'm thankful for our annual Primary Water Day Ward ACtivity! What FUN! I'm grateful for friends and fellowship and the opportunity we had to enjoy it together as a whole family (unlikely if Jessie was working full-time in a restaurant!). I'm so GLAD I got to meet some really neat ladies who I hope to see in the future at Park Day and maybe even church!

Sunday, June 12, 2011: I'm thankful for Home Teachers and Missionaries and the opportunity to have them over when we're together as a whole family.

Monday, June 13, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's diligence in trying to find work. I'm also grateful that I was able to take a nap with Jimmy today. The last couple weeks have been taking their toll and I'm so glad to feel more rested after my nap AND to have a happier baby after he got the sleep he did!

Tuesday, June 14, 2011: I'm thankful for the gift and blessing of spending time with my sisters in the Lord at a great park down the road from us. What a blessing! And even more, a seemingly unlikely blessing: running into the girl I met the last time we were there. I think this is not just a coinkydink. ;) And I'm thankful! I'm thankful for the gifts of phone calls and emails Jessie received about possible jobs, which helped him bear up under the burden of being the primary/sole provider (though currently unemployed) for our family. I'm SO grateful for prayers for him for I feel certain that they have made his way easier than it would've otherwise been! THANK YOU for praying for him/us!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011: I'm thankful for the blessing of a friend having extra work in her business and giving Jessie the opportunity to do the work. Everything helps!!! I'm thankful for Relief Society Activities. It was so fun to learn yogurt making from a pro. I'm so thankful for the Gospel of Christ in my life and the amazing people with whom I get to associate because of it!

Become a Host Family!

2011-06-13T22:29:00.000-04:00

If you have a little "extra" space in your home and heart, you might consider hosting a Foriegn Exchange student. They are flying in during the month of August. In my area, they stay 10 months. Elsewhere they may be able to stay one semester.

Are you interested? Curious?

If you have little ones at home (not quite teenagers), you'll need a room with a bed for your student for the duration of his or her stay. If you have teenagers of high school age, your student can share a room with your child of near age and same gender. They simply need their own bed.

Our students represent countries all over the world including: Brazil, Germany, France, Korea, China, The Netherlands, Sweden, and more. Your student will come with their own insurange and money (you do NOT have to pay for any of their extra-curricular activities). They are NOT allowed (under any circumstances) to drive their Host Family's car. If the school will allow it, they may take a driver's ed class, but cannot drive any other vehicle.

You will provide breakfast and an evening meal during the week and all meals on the weekend and holidays. They either purchase a school lunch or pack a lunch to bring. They can shop for their own food to pack or you can let them choose from what you have. Exchange Students are meant to become another member of the family. So, they should have chores just like your child(ren) and abide all house rules.

If this sounds interesting to you, let me know. We'll talk more about it and if you decide you'd like to Host a student from somewhere else in the world, we'll get you in the system. :)

Linkin'

2011-06-10T19:16:00.002-04:00

come on, you know ya want to! :)

Thankful Thursday Week of June 2, 2011

2011-06-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

Thursday, June 2, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's willingness to continuously support me in temple attendance. This trip made three weeks in a row to meet our current goal of once monthly temple trips and twice monthly, once each quarter. What a great guy, right?! ^_^

Friday, June 3, 2011: I'm thankful for sweet girls who love their work even when they make very little money. Their Orange-ade Stand is going up this coming Friday, not because they did well this time, but because they have HOPE for the future! I'm grateful that my sweet friend came over to spend some time with us. I love my friends!

Saturday, June 4, 2011: I'm thankful for the yearly Nathaniel's Hope Buddy Walk. What a great way to teach my girls that those with special needs are people who are more similar to us than it may appear! We especially loved that Daddy came with us this year!

Sunday, June 5, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to help a friend with a project. The blessing of serving her is a gift in itself!
Monday, June 6, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work to find a job and work to build an alternate stream of income for our family. I'm grateful our girls and their patience with us as we fumble through parenting them. I love my family so much!

Tuesday, June 7, 2011: I'm thankful for quiet days at home during which phone calls can be made.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to work on a writing project with a friend and to give service to another friend and work to fulfill my calling!

Confessions

2011-06-06T22:37:00.000-04:00

So, Jessie found out last night (Sunday), when he called to see when to come in to work today, that he wasn't needed. The boss knew Jess was looking for employment that would meet our needs better, so he (the boss) was looking for someone to stick with him and replace Jessie. Unfortunately for us, the boss won that race. Not surprising, really, but it's still upsetting and stressful.

I confess that I was feeling SUPER down today as a result of this turn of events. I was trying to keep my head up while furiously "doggy-paddling" in my mind. The doggy-paddle amounted to some circular thinking that wasn't helpful to my situation. I called my Mommy. I sobbed, cried, verbally vomited, cried, confessed some feelings of resentment, cried some more, confessed my frustration with the situation and the repetition of it, cried, sobbed, and finally got myself together.

Before that 'fessing time, I was really down. I read two emails that were lovingly sent by sweet sisters, but which I interpreted as negatively as possible in the initial reading of them. I was feeling dark and projected onto the senders dark intent. After the confessings to my Mama, I was able to think clearly about those emails and send responses that were loving - or, at least, which I was hoping would be received as loving because I was FEELING loving when I wrote.

My Mom, before our conversation ended, said she wished there was something she could do or some direction she could give to help our situation. But, really, just listening with no judgement (as my Mom is GOOD for) was exactly what I needed! I needed to just let go of what I was harboring in my mind and heart and not feel like a horrible person in the letting. That accomplished, I was free to be me... the better me that I want to be. What a GIFT and BLESSING to have such a Mama as I have! What a tremendous example to me! I sure LOVE my Mom!!!

Later in the day I tried calling one of the three contacts I'd made at the Boy Scout Round Table at which I spoke about the ICES Host Family opportunity. As a result, I'm hopeful that I may have 1 Host Family lined up. At the very least, if the family doesn't end up hosting, the Lord is giving me a "bone," as it were; something to extend my hope that I might be able to find a host family or a few before the students need to fly over here. I yearn to serve my Lord and God and I know that He has directed me to this work. He desires that I should have contact with whomever ends up in my care, for whatever reasons He has. I yearn to fulfill His plans for me. Yet I'm reliant, in this circumstance, upon others' desires. It seems that those with whom I have contact do NOT have desires which include hosting a foreign exchange student! ahwell. God's Got It!!! :) I'm working to Let Go, Let God!

Last week we began singing HOW FIRM A FOUNDATION (you can hear and read the hymn at this link!)for our main practice Hymn in devotionals. It has been SUCH a blessing and a comfort to ME in these past few days! (I felt REALLY tremulous Spiritually after coming home from the Buddy Walk Saturday and sang Hymn 85 to myself and Jimmy in the van and I felt SO much better afterward!) I'm so grateful for the truths available to us through the Hymns and in the Scriptures!! God is our perfect provider, I bless His name!

Thankful Thursday Week of May 26, 2011

2011-06-02T08:00:00.001-04:00

Thursday, May 26, 2011: I'm thankful for the swimming get-together hosted by a sweet friend. It was so nice to see my sisters in the middle of the week!

Friday, May 27, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home during which I was able to "bake up a storm" as Ria has been heard to describe such days. I'm ESPECIALLY thankful that Jimmy was so much more willing to allow me to NOT hold the whole time and to allow his big sisters to entertain him. They love the "job," but he doesn't always welcome it.

Saturday, May 28, 2011: I'm thankful to Mr. Sam for being such a kind boss to Jess and a super sweet business dealer and ice provider to the girls for their Orange-ade Stand. I'm thankful for all the strangers that bought Orange-ade from my girls. I'm thankful Jessie was along to feel out the situation and act as our bodyguard. I'm thankful to Randy for being our favorite customer of the day (he bought 4 cups!), a kind business owner who sent business our way, and who (with his wife) gave us a bunch of awesome produce for free. We did give them some Orange-ade, but they gave far more!

Sunday, May 29, 2011: I'm thankful for really wonderful phone conversation! What a gift and blessing telephones can be. :)

Monday, May 30, 2011: I'm thankful that Jessie is determined and working hard to make our financial situation better. He is such a great man! I sure do love him!

Tuesday, May 31, 2011: I'm thankful, so VERY thankful that Jessie works so close to home currently! He was able to rush home to help me when I couldn't move. What an awesome husband! I'm also thankful for an awesome piano teacher for Ria who is SO flexible! She is so very good to us. And such a good friend!

Wednesday, June 1, 2011: I'm thankful for the opportunity to spend time with some of my wonderful Sisters, to get to know them better, and spend time at a great playground my girls enjoyed thoroughly. I'm grateful that our missionaries don't mind that we can rarely have them to dinner. They are always some good guys and I'm so thankful for them and the work they do!

As It Turns Out

2011-05-31T22:04:00.001-04:00

As it turned out today was NOT as quiet a day as I was hoping for before our outing this afternoon.

Right around 3.5 years ago I collapsed with a horrible pain in my back. I later found out about some stuff that could've been the spiritual root of my physical problem. My back pain and the incident occurred at basically the same time - if not exactly the same time. Interesting, no?

Since then I did have one other time when my back hurt, but not to the point that I collapsed. It just hurt a lot out of nowhere.

Anyway. My back hurt so baddly that I had to get to the floor. It was more painful than it may have otherwise been because I was holding Jimmy when it happened and had to carefully set him down. Additionally, I couldn't breath properly. Literally like a knife in my back, pointing up into my lungs. Once on the floor I called Jessie. THANKFULLY he works so close to home right now! He was home in a flash and was able to do as he did last time, which resulted in me being able to stand again.

What an experience. No quiet early part of the day today! *sigh*

Quiet Days

2011-05-31T11:56:00.000-04:00

Quiet Days at home are my very favorite. I had a busy week last week and this week is pretty darn busy, too, but I have to say that quiet days at home are nearly heaven on earth to me. Of course, I could do without the bickering as well as the out-right fighting that sometimes occurrs after a bunch of days staying at home. And it's really apparent to this home-body Mama that my girls tend to prefer to be out and about (at least Ria and Kat do so far)! ahwell...

Yesterday was a nice day. At home. NICE!

I'm still looking for homes for some Foreign Exchange Students. If you're interested in becoming a Host Family, please DO let me know! :)

I'll be posting a Thankful Thursday post on Thursday. Until then I think I'll be quiet again. Those are SUCH a great way for me to remember my week. I actually come in and edit my post for TT almost daily sometimes. QUICK journaling... I want to do more handwritten entries in my actual journal, but it's much harder to take the time for that. At least I have these small reminders! I hope you'll join, too. Educating Evelyn is also just a great blog generally, but check her out on Thursdays especially (esepcailly if you want to link up a Thankful Thursday post! ^_^

Thankful Thursday: Week Starting May 19th

2011-05-26T19:45:00.003-04:00

Thursday, May 19, 2011: I'm thankful that Jessie was home for a second whole day in a row! If he were making enough moolah hourly for us to even just subsist upon (namely pay our own bills AND buy our own food), I could TOTALLY get used to him being home so much as he has been! We had an enjoyable temple trip in the early-ish morning. We came home for a late lunch and then headed over to Gramy and Grampy's house for dinner and to print out some things we needed (including a job application for Jess). Finally, the day ended with Mama heading to a Boy Scout Round Table to talk about ICES and Host Family-ing. No takers so far. If you think of it, please pray that I will find some families who are both willing AND able so that I might place a few (or five) students in the next... oh... week! *sigh*

Friday, May 20, 2011: I'm thankful that Jess was home and happy to let me go, taking only Jimmy, to complete my Visiting Teaching in the morning. Another Sister from my Ward picked up a new (to us) mauve leather couch and brought it to our home for us. I'm totally grateful for that sweet service! We're trying to/hoping to replace our fabric furniture with leather because we hope it will stand up better to children. Our one leather recliner (given to us long ago of the Lord) is in nearly the exact same condition as when we received it!!! Since we expect more children to join our family, we need furniture appropriate for them and those we have already, too. Thankfully the Lord agrees!! The couch He brought to us is mauve and in very good condition! I'm curious to see what the next one will look like (or next two couches as, apparently, Jess wants more seating than we already had because we need more room for all the entertaining he desires/expects to do?)! I'm also SUPER thankful for all the kind strangers and some friends who stopped by my gang's Orange-ade Stand! They did pretty good business. Almost as much in gross income as last week with fewer outrageous tips! ^_^

Saturday, May 21, 2011: I'm thankful for a quiet day at home in which we were able to prepare for the Sabbath.

Sunday, May 22, 2011: I'm thankful for a wonderful Ward family!

Monday, May 23, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's awesome self-motivation and determination to provide for our family. He got up EARLY and went out trash hunting to find any treasures we might resell - which is another stream of income we feel led to pursue. He also searched online for work, made the girls breakfast, replaced our mailbox into the ground, and then headed off to work for a catering double shift. I'm so grateful for his hard work, diligence, and dedication! He is becoming the man I've always believed him to be!!!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011: I'm thankful for a sweet baby boy who trusts his Mama implicitly. This character trait made for a really easy first clipper cut with baby on Mama's lap whilst Mama cut baby's hair! :)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011: I'm thankful for even the little trials that enable me to see progress in my personal development. I reacted much more calmly to realizing Kat cut her hair this time than I did last time!

Forgiveness

2011-05-22T22:27:00.001-04:00

"Learning to forgive is a great gift you give to yourself and others. The power of forgiveness lies not only its ability to heal relationships, but even moreso, to heal yourself." I found that quote HERE. And, really... I can't top it! ;) However, I have experience the truthfulness of it and testify that it has been the best gift I've ever given myself: to forgive others and strive to forgive "seventy times seven," which, in fact, is simply a verbal analogy of perfect forgiveness (which fact I learned from my super smart brother, Josh!). ^_^ A final quote from the page linkes: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping your enemy will die. Author Unknown" Awesome. Just awesome. And totally true! I've lived it!!!

A Quiet Saturday

2011-05-21T18:26:00.000-04:00

I could've... and by some people's standards, I should've, been very busy today. There were at least 5 activities in/for/related to my Ward today. I may be forgetting one. Four of them have overlapping time frames. Yes, all 5+ were/are today. Amazing, right? I wanted very much to attend (and could've made it with my children) to three or four of them. Two of them haven't happened yet, as of this writing. But we (the kids and I) haven't done one of them and will not do the other two (that I could've possibly done).

"But... you SHOULD given any understanding of the gospel and the fact that one should be at all church things at which one is expected." I disagree, but the specifics are a bit of semantics and generalizing. I'm not going there here. I'm going somewhere totally different. :)

You see, I know the week my kiddos have had. I know it has been a busy, a VERY busy week, relative to our family lately. I know that when my daughters do not get to bed at a reasonable time at night for too many days in a row they begin to be very difficult and, in the past, have often ended up ill when I have pushed us to participate in too many activities all in a row.

I know that they need some time at our house to just BE. (As do I... to CLEAN!) They need time to play. To rest. ~~To aggravate me.~~ To get ready for other activities of utmost import (like taking the Sacrament.)

I know that my daughters' behavior yesterday (especially Ria's!) and today has been extremely similar to that which I've experienced and observed in the past just before they have a melt-down of one or two kinds (emotional and/or health). I have contrasting experiences from our past together, from which I pull in considering how I schedule our lives. The times I've said NO and NOT done things others may have expected me to do and the times I pushed it and did them even though I saw "the signs." Without exception, the times I said NO turned out far more favorably for all involved. And so, I have made a commitment to myself that I will err on the side of NOT doing things (even things I personally WANT to do very much) when I see the signs I've been seeing. I am the Mother, afterall.

I know my children's (and my own) breaking points. I know our needs. I know the Lord's Will. I know that my first and highest calling now and forever-more is and will be Mother. I know how the Lord Forgives. And if I'm wrong today, and come to understand that later, and then repent, I'm sure He will not only forgive me, but He will tell me (as He has in many other instances about other subjects for which I needed to repent!) that He knows I was doing my best given my understanding at the time.

Regardless:

If you want to remember, re-learn, or learn for the first time about my above reference (the picture above), please GO HERE! ^_^ It is a wonderful article for any woman who yearns to be A Mother Who Knows!!!

Thankful Thursday: Week Starting May 12th

2011-05-18T22:07:00.001-04:00

To Joing the LINK up for this week's Thankful Thursday, make sure to check out THIS awesome blog!

Thursday, May 12, 2011: I'm thankful that we had SUCH a peaceful day even with Jessie gone all of it working a double. My girls can be SO nice to be around! I'm GLAD when they ARE! :)

Friday, May 13, 2011: I'm thankful for the kindness of strangers. I didn't advertise my girls' Orange-ade Stand for this week and we still had really great sales (and even BETTER tips!!!). So neat, right? I'm so GLAD to encounter so many kind people!

Saturday, May 14, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's self-motivation.

Sunday, May 15, 2011: I'm thankful for an amazing dinner with wonderful friends-in-the-making!

Monday, May 17, 2011: I'm thankful for a day at home full of phone calls and self-motivated children.

Tuesday, May 18, 2011: I'm thankful that I have a wonderful midwife who will talk with me about any and everthing!

Wednesday, May 19, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's fishing trip with the girls this morning which enabled me to sleep pretty deeply for about an hour longer than I would've been able to otherwise. I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work to get shelves made for our pantry-like cabinet in our kitchen. He's been frustrated with the disorganization in the kitchen and has been busy enabling me to make a change. What an awesome support! I'm thankful for Relief Society Activities that enable me to enjoy my sisters. I love them! :)

The Parable of the Walk in the Dark

2011-05-18T00:03:00.000-04:00

There went out a woman, holding her newborn child, at night to find tools with which to accomplish her work. She went from her well-lit home quickly, slowed her pace as she approached the deepening dark on her way into the cavernous darkness of her garage. Therein she turned on a light and quickly found that which she sought. She turned again and put out the light, closed up the cavern, and made her way slowly around obstacles, difficult to discern due to the dark. As she approached her home, the light increased and her pace with it. She returned to the comfort of her home and once more felt the peace therein which peace she had not realized was absent until it was renewed. Let them that hath ears to hear, let them hear.

The interpretationS thereof:

The Temporal Reality

When we are in a well-lit area (home), we see easily. We carry our responsibilities calmly and well. (The newborn baby.) When we move from the light to the darkness, it takes time for our eyes to adjust and we may encounter objects in our path that we cannot see and thus we may get hurt, so we walk more slowly that we may feel our way and avoid pain. When our eyes do adjust, we still cannot see far or well, so we must tread carefully and slowly. When we experience light once more, we can see easily to do what we need to do. IF we have been accustomed to the darkness for some time, and our eyes have been able to see as well as possible in the dark, we will experience some pain if the light is full and bright quickly. When we encounter darkness again, the cycle of pupil dilation repeats followed by constriction as we enter the light.

The Spiritual Reality (Two Ways)

When we are living in the Light of Christ, all things are clear and discernable to our understanding. We feel greater clarity and peace because we can move about freely and accomplish all that must be done. If we move away from the Light (whether in sin or in Faith) [the home] we tend to move/do more slowly because in darkness we know we might get hurt. If we are stepping into the darkness of sin, we often move slowly because the Spirit is directing us away from that which we think we desire. If this is the case, we surely know it and probably "dabble" with being righteous and faithful along the path of sin. [Thus the light in the garage.] If we remain in sin very long, and then encounter light once more, it can be painful to us for many reasons. If the darkness is that of sin, even when we choose to return to the constant Light of Christ, we must pass through darkness at least once more on our return trip. Because we are focused on Christ more than anything else (when we truly desire to return and are not doing it only half-heartedly), the darknesses we may necessarily pass through will not be nearly as difficult to manage as the darkness experience prior to and immediately after the momentary "dabbling" with Light. But passing through darkness again is necessary that we may return to the peace and constant Light of Christ. [The home... our eternal home with God the Father and our Saviour.]

If we are moving into darkness in Faith, we are striving to do the Lord's Will, not knowing much or what it may be, and trusting that He will Light our way when and as He sees fit to do so. (Thus the light in the garage.) There are repeating cycles of this, not just the two mentioned in the Parable, but the parable is a condensed version of Life. If we are striving to do what we understand to be the Lord's Will and striving toward further Light and we endure to the end, we will come to the end of our mortal sojourn and experience the gifts of peace and constant Light in our eternal home in the presence of our God, which will be our rest from every care. (Thus the Light and Peace in the home, obviously.)

What a great experience these ideas were for me tonight! I hope you've enjoyed them!!! Have another interpretation? Do share!

Trials and Then Blessings

2011-05-16T16:30:00.000-04:00

I truly believe that all things are a compound in one. Blessings can/are trials and trials are (contain within them) blessings. Even though that is true, in my experience, Heavenly Father doesn't stop at giving us the blessing within the trial, but continues beyond that and loads blessing upon blessing into our lives when we pass through "trials" trying to keep our eyes on Him and seeking always to do His Will. Seriously awesome, good, kind, and over-generous stuff to my way of thinking! And that is descriptive of our God! :)

In my experience and comparing my life to the analogy of the orchard-man in the Bible... the trials of my life are the times of pruning. The pruning is necessary at those times because those times happen to be the oppropriate "season" in the development of my "tree-self" for them. The trials are the cutting away of certain places of my tree-self which result in either humbling and/or refining (usually AND! ^_^). I often, if not always, see how the "pruning" work is really necessary because of how hugely imperfect I am. Ever more and more I can see how the pruning is changing me to become a more productive and better individual in the whole orchard that I may provide more and better fruits for my "orchard-man." And these times of pruning are truly and hugely necessary. Whether I pass through with stellar performance (keeping my eye on Christ and striving with all my might to be as He is) or sub-par, Heavenly Father provides solace, comfort, and blessings so long as I've been striving in Christ, regardless of my actual performance.

I told you about the full van load of blessings the Lord gave me through my dear friend just this past Saturday.

Well, yesterday He gave more! Truly pouring out the blessings!

I've been feeling VERY urgent about preparing our 7 day kits. We have 72 hour kits (minus cash in small bills and quarters... working on that!), but building thos kits up by 4 more days is a rather big task to my small mind - considering our very small income currently! One thing I've been worrying my little head about is the entertainment issue of children in emergency situations. Silly, you may think... but we've been through some stressful situations just at home, and let me tell you... some "new" things to do are SUCH a relief and blessing! Games. Color books. Books. You know the drill. Well, among all the gifts my friend gave us are loads of new-to-us books. I will sneak some away to our 7 days kits! YEAY!!

Yesterday, a dear sister in my ward family gave me a bag of wonderful school supplies. Among the supplies I was blessed to find more than SIX new card games. Among those were GO FISH, OLD MAID, and more! I've snuck them off to load into the 7 day kits! God IS Great!!!

Another sweet sister gave us a bag of girls shoes. Awesome! God is THE provider! I just noticed among the bags of clothes my friend gave me on Saturday are shoes for Ria... sneakers in the size she needs! I've been worrying my little head over that lately... when I should not, for I have had enough witness that the Lord will provide for ALL our needs. Not just some. ALL!!!! Praise God, my Father in Heaven. We are so very blessed to be loved by Him who loves us without condition!

Why all of these blessings? I'm certainly not deserving and I recognize this truth poignantly. I must stipulate that truth which I acknowledge and declare first. Yet, I've done better in and through our more recent series of trials than ever before. I love that I can see my personal progress by way of the mile markers of my trials! The trials? Here are some of them, starting with the tougher and moving down the list: the job at Capt's Tavern. That was a huge trial for me as well as (obviously) for Jessie. When he suffers, I suffer. And though I listen and advise, I cannot MAKE him do what is best. He must. So, in essence, I end up in a rather powerless position, which is excruciatingly painful and difficult for me. Kat, Tea, and I being ill. My Grampa Storms dying. Worrying about my Mom (that was her Dad who died). Worrying about my neice who was ill and had 2 febrile seizures within 24 hours. Unemployment. Uneremployment (which continues). No success in finding host families for the foreign exchange students I've committed to find placements for. And, of course, there are the constant and necessary stressors of: being a Mama. Homeschooling. Maintaining our home. Entertaining. Visiting Teaching. etc. etc. etc. These are all just part of life and living. Yet they combine and compound at times. We must endure... AND endure it WELL! Although I could always do better... I did better than I've ever done. And the blessings have come pouring out to us. We are SO grateful! God IS Great!!!!!

The Windows of Heaven

2011-05-14T17:31:00.001-04:00

I wished for bowls. We don't have enough for our family (we have 3 ceramic and 1 plastic), much less than enough if we were to have guests and serve something that should appear in a bowl (like soup).

I wished for silverware. We've got just enough for guests... so long as the family we've invited to join us to dine is not "too" large. And if you know me, you know that I do NOT think any family is too large... but when you have a limited number of _____ and you want to have a family over... you need enough of ____ for each additional person you desire to welcome.

I've realized quite often lately that we do not have enough glasses from which to drink for guests. We totally make do. I finally gave up feeling embarrassed that I was directing my sister and her hubby to use our "canning" glasses as drinkware. But, OH!, how I wished for glasses enough for my family AND guests!

This past winter was not cold. I mean... it was cold for where we live in Florida, but it wasn't as cold as, say, Michigan. I know we have it easy as far as the cold goes. Truly. I DO know! But after a year anywhere, one becomes accustomed to the fluxuations of their clime. When we moved down here, it was November and we thought it was hilarious that people were wearing jackets, coats, etc. We thought AND said to one another, "We'll never need a coat down here! Feel this WEATHER!" HAhaHAha The Lord has His way of humbling us!!! A year later we were wearing jackets with shorts. A year later full on coats and shivering in them (even me!). Another year or so and we went "up north" to visit family and were freezing our Florida acclimated tushies off! Amazing. And then last year. Living without AC all the year through... okay, well, come winter, we moved into living without heat because our central unit no longer functions at all and we were in no way able (especially given the joblessness) to repair it... and probably couldn't have afforded the utility bill had we been able to use the central heat. We did buy a couple space heaters. But folks, it gets COLD when you don't have any heat! Even here. And we found ourselves wishing we had better blankets under which to sort of hibernate the coldest months. Oh, a down comforter would be heavenly, we realized. Oh, how we wished for a down comforter!

We have a few mixing bowls. But not nearly enough for my Sour Dough Starter when I get into propogation mode (like trying to make enough to make a BUNCH of bread in any given week). And I found myself wishing I had some nice serving bowls. How nice it would be to have nice bowls in which to serve things when people came over to eat. How nice it would be to bring a pretty bowl of something to a pot luck dinner at church or someone's house... we (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints) have them at least once a month somewhere! Even all the way out here in the "mission field" (read: where not quite as many "Mormons" live relative to the area.)) ;) Oh, it would be lovely to have pretty bowls for food transport and dinner service... and enough bakeware in which to prepare meals that I might bring to those in need... *sigh*

A friend gave me some lovely sheers to hang over a window somewhere in my home. I truly love them. But I didn't have a rod on which to hang them. So, I determined to wait patiently until I could afford the items necessary. She gave them to me. Now I'm simply waiting for Jessie to help me hang them. But after sheers (and especially as we are trying to keep sunlight OUT during the summer to keep the inside of the house cooler), I'll need some heavier curtians and a big rod is necessary to hang that sort of thing. Don't have it. I wish I had a sturdy, pretty rod so that I could hang curtains (which I also hope to have sometime soonish)!

Tea has some great little potties and uses them. But sometimes she really prefers to use the big toilet. In one bathroom that's not really a problem because we have a stool in there, but in the other we do not. I've wished on a few occassions that we had a stool for that bathroom so Tea could transition at her discretion (wihtout nagging Mama and Daddy) to using the big toilet regularly.

Now, all of these thoughts and wishes of my heart did not transpire in the course of one afternoon... or even one week... or even one month. I've had a thought here or there. A little thought would come as almost a whisper to my mind as I would ponder on some thing or other since October 2010.

I think it was Wednesday when a friend of mine from our last neighborhood called, after a year or so!, to see if I might be able to come visit her because they'd sold their vacation home and she was coming to pack up the last things in it and wanted to give me a bunch of clothes and things she didn't want or need anymore. I would've gone out of my way to just go visit her (which, in my perception of reality I sort of did because I completely forgot she wanted to give me stuff and left ALL the orange-ade stuff in the van when I went to visit her! I'm such a goof-ball. I know!). It had been so long since we last talked that she didn't know I had another baby!!! Fun surprise, eh!?? ^_^ heeheehee

Anyway, so we went to visit her. It was a joy to see her, speak with her, and be in her presence. She was lovely and sweet as ever. She fed us and I enjoyed her company very much! In addition to all of that she loaded our van. Seriously full! And among all the lovely and wonderful things: THREE stools and I could easily use any one of them for Tea in the bathroom that did not have one before! She also gave me a really pretty rod for the curtains I'm determined we will get eventually! She gave me bowls in which to serve food at table, serving platters, and glass bakeware. She gave me a full on down comforter in a duvet as well as a smaller throw-type down blanket. She gave me 8 glasses, silverware, and the bowls I'd been wishing for. She also gave me plates of various sizes (ALWAYS useful! especially with children using them and some breaking here and there!) and coffee cups. The list goes on of the wonderful things she gave me and I'm certain I probably had thoughts about them at some point or another. :)

Other than the full-on curtains I mentioned, the Lord has answered every wish of my heart that I can remember thinking in the last 7-8 months PLUS MORE!! all in one fell-swoop via my dear friend and earth angel! God IS Great!!! How awesome is He who knows the wishes of our hearts and answers them in His time and in His way. Our God is an AWESOME God!! Thank you, my friend angel!

Malachi 3:10 "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it."

Is not this story a relation of the windows if heaven being opened and God pouring our a blessing upon us? I can testify that we are definitely on the verge of not have enough room in which to receive it! :) Our God is an AWESOME God!

Orange-ade

2011-05-14T00:30:00.022-04:00

Yesterday was our girls' second time to run and work their Orange-ade Stand. I did not advertise for it this time around. The girls, but Ria especially, are so excited to have this little business with which they are striving to increase their savings and buy some more homeschool supplies. It's such a gift and blessing to me to enjoy how very excited they are to do the work required to pull their Orange-ade Stand off! They bicker (working on that, for sure!) about who gets to squeeze the oranges, who gets to pour the Orange-ade into the cups, who gets to collect the money, what else they might sell at their Stand... but they LOVE the work.

Ria, as a result of her age and dexterity, mixes the drink and pours their product into cups for their customers thus far. Kat is a mighty juicer! Tea likes to hang out with Daddy when he's picking the oranges and LOVES to hand oranges out of the 5-gallon bucket up to me for cutting. This is especially helpful when I'm wearing Jimmy... I'm not good at grasping round objects with my feet and people probably wouldn't prefer it anyway. :) Our girls are indefatigable at the jobs they enjoy.

The most wonderful aspect of their step into business ownership is all the lessons it's providing me opportunities to teach and enabling them to learn! The money is also quite nice. If the Stand were run by only one child, that child would be "making" more, per hour, than Daddy last week and just less than he makes this week. Of course, they only work right around 2 hours each time the stand goes up (1 day per week) and there is a good bit of time spent at home preparing things... but still. They are making some REALLY good money for how old they are!

In addition to Orange-ade, they sold cookies and break last week. This week they sold only Orange-ade. Last week Kat sold her painting for $0.10 and Ria sold her painting for $1.10. This week Tea sold her painting for $5.00!! What fun, right?

One of the lessons that seems to be sticking REALLY well with Ria is the necessity of dedicating the work to the Glory of God. Today she said, after I reminded them that we needed to have our prayer for their Orange-ade Stand, "Yeah, we have to pray or we won't have as many sales." And then after a few customers had come, "I knew Heavenly Father would send lots of people to buy our Orange-ade!" And He did!

This week they had 7 vehicles stop. The first 3 each bought two cups. The first customer gave the girls a $5.00 tip! They received another $4.50 tip a little later. One lady stopped (but only in a drive-by sort of way) to give the girls a 1 dollar bill. She didn't want any drink, she just wanted to contribute to their efforts! Their last customer stopped as I was packing everything away. We were happy to serve them (Ria had been pleading with me to allow her to keep her Stand up a while longer). They bought 3 cups ($0.50 each) and paid for those and gave the girls $4 tip! So, obviously, the Lord is blessing them beyond measure for their efforts to shine His Light through their business. It's just wonderful to hear them request, "Do you think we could put our Stand up on Thursday next week so we don't have to wait ALL THE WAY til Friday to do it again?" ^_^ And last week Kat kept trying to convince me that we could put the stand up the next day, "or what about the next," and so on. :)

Last week they had, I think, 5 vehicles (4 customers in 1, and a couple customers in another) stop to make purchases. They also had 3 walk-up customers. 2 of those each bought multiple cups of Orange-ade. One customer last week bought 1 cup and gave them a $4.50 tip! Last week we put the Stand up near homes and visible to people in their homes. This week we were in a more deserted part of that same street.

I choose our locations for shade and enough room to park the van. Our street is not busy enough to provide many customers. The effort to pack everything necessary and set up away from home is really worth it to me because my girls are having SUCH success! If they did this same thing in front of our house they MIGHT make a fraction of the gross they've made these two weeks. While their excitement to pay tithing would be the same, I'm sure... I don't think the overall drive to continue would be quite as great.

An experience I have truly loved that is a result of this business is Ria and Kat's TREMENDOUS excitement about paying tithing. Honestly, I think they are more excited to work to earn money so that they CAN pay tithing than anything else! It's like the addition to their savings accounts and purchase of supplies for homeschool is secondary to their joy and excitement about paying tithing. Ria was radiant this past Sunday when she went off to hand her tithing envelope to one of the Counselors in the Bishopric! What a pleasure!

There are SO many lessons to teach and to be learned. So many opportunities! I think that if all we did during this summer was the Orange-ade Stand once a week, it would be an AWESOMELY productive couple months for homeschool! Of course we will continue to do the regular book studies as well! But this is just such a wonderful addition to their home education! I'm grateful that I felt the nudges of the Spirit to enable our girls to pursue this business. Ria's been asking to do it since she was 4 years old. It took me 3 years to DO it... but perhaps those 3 years waiting are part of the reason she LOVES it as much as she does. :)

Are you doing anything to enable your children (especially young ones) to earn their own money? Is it worth all your efforts on their behalf?

Thankful Thursday: Week Starting May 6th

2011-05-10T18:57:00.029-04:00

CHANGE... is GOOD! ^_^ This is my transition week. After a change by the originator of THANKFUL THURSDAY, I'm going to begin next week with Thursday the 12th and conclude with the Wednesday following that so that I can post before Thursday and link up to her earlier. :)

If you want to LINK to the Thankful Thursday originator, hop on over and INPUT your data! :)

Friday, May 6, 2011: I'm thankful for a food order placed against my stated understanding of Father's Will because the placing of it impacted my Jessie so positively. I'm thankful for a conversation which clarified a sticking point in my brain, which led to a flood of revelation I'd probably been blocking because of lack of understanding around that sticking point! I'm thankful for daughters who are an inspiration to me in their desire to earn money just so they can pay tithing. The more money they earned at their little Orange-ade stand, the more excited Ria became to pay tithing on Sunday. What a gift and blessing to this Mama!

Saturday, May 7, 2011: I'm thankful for a phone conversation which alerted me to baptisms which would take place that very night. I'm so GLAD I was able to attend as a result!

Sunday, May 8, 2011: I'm thankful for Moms. First, my Mom for being my Mom and always trying and doing her very best in everything she set out to do. Second, for the Moms I have been blessed to observe and learn from and, as a result have had a better time at my efforts to improve myself because of association with and observation of them.

Monday, May 9, 2011: I'm thankful for a hard-working hubby who got up bright and early even though he didn't actually HAVE to and subsequently accomplished a great deal of work toward putting our fence up in the back AND made breakfast and lunch, to boot!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011: I'm thankful that Ria did her school and other work with such a cheerful and peaceful heart. She is SUCH a joy when she chooses to follow our Saviour!

Wednesday, May 11, 2011: I'm thankful for Jessie's hard work which enabled him to finish putting in posts and putting up panels all across the way back of our yard. Now, to fill in the even longer sides... I'm so GLAD he's willing to work so hard for our family!

Just Like My Mom: HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, MOM!! (And Sister, and Sisters-in-Love (that's you, too, Anni), Mama Jo, and Diane!)

2011-05-08T18:49:00.000-04:00

What makes for a Happy Mother's Day?

Oh, I'm sure the answer is a bit different for every woman. Breakfast in bed. Flowers. Jewelry. Baubels. Cards. Candy. I'm sure those could all contribute to a heavenly day for many a woman. Here and now I'm going to answer for myself, though, of course. ;)

My Mom always ask my siblings and me for the one thing she wanted most. She asked us to be kind to one another and completely obedient for the whole day of Mother's Day. That's all she wanted. She didn't need flowers. She didn't want jewels. She didn't need a THING in the world. She did, most assuredly, accept all tokens with grace and appreciation, but she was always disappointed. Why? Cause we never could come through that one day a year (or two, cause she often asked for this same precious gift for her birthday) without bickering, outright disobedience to her, or some other form of unwanted behavior.

I get it now. I TOTALLY and completely GET IT! I also understand our Father in Heaven's declarations: "If ye love me, keep my commandments," more fully, though, I'm sure, not to the fullness with which I some day will understand His declarations as a result of being a human in a fallen world. Understanding a bit better here and there, though, IS something! :) These declarations of the Lord are found throughout the Bible and Book of Mormon... restated over and over again in various forms. I GET IT!!! I do appreciate the "things" and what they represent of my children's and husband's love for me, for sure. When those things are given, I am grateful for the expressions/representations of their love and do try to accept them with grace and appreciation. But the only gift I really want from my children is the same one my Mom asked of me and my siblings. Just kindness and obedience. Just for one day (or two, cause I think I ask for it for my birthday, too.) Haven't got it yet, but I'm still hoping. Probably, just like my Mom did. Year after year, over and over she asked and hoped.

Thank you, Mom, for teaching me the most important lessons and leading us by example. I'm sorry I didn't GET IT (SO much of it!!) until these later years of my life... but at least I didn't make you (us) wait 'till you were on the other side! ;) I'm so grateful for your endless supply of hope in and for my siblings and me. I'm grateful that you have loved us without condition. I'm grateful for your examples of service and acceptance. You are truly an Angel, Mother! ^_^

Thank you, Mama Jo, for loving me and mine like we were always yours. You are a bright and shining example of Christ's Love and I'm so grateful He brought us to where we could become yours! We all love you!!!

Thank you, Evelyn. Thank you for being an amazing woman who is an awesome example to me of the kind of woman Christ would have us all aim at being. ^_^ You are a woman of strength and faith, so much like our Mom and I'm so GLAD you are my sister! I'm thankful, OH so thankful, that you accept me as I am rather than holding who I used to be over my head and tormenting me with my past transgressions. You are an example of forgiveness. I'm grateful for your kindness, for your easiness in sharing of your wisdom. I'm grateful for the opportunity you provided me to be in the presence of your family and to meet the littlest niece I have in your family. You are a gift. I'm GLAD you are my sister!

To my Sisters-In-Love, I'm going to address you in the order in which you became known to me. :)

Caroline, you are awesome. I'm so glad Josh chose you to be his wife. The woman with whom he would work through this life, come what may. The woman with whom he will strive to be raised to Glory for the eternities. Out of all the women he could've chosen, I'm GLAD he chose you!. You are a wonderful Mother. You are a sweet and GOOD person. You love God and have an amazingly strong Spirit. I love you. Thank you for dealing with us in all our craziness. Thank you for loving us and accepting us and being a part of our family! I love you!

Anni, I love you. I miss you. I wish I knew what I could do to be rewarded with your acceptance. I'm grateful for who you are because who you are has impacted who Jessie was when I met him and who he is today. I love my man, so no matter what, I will always ALWAYS love you. You are family. I love you.

Barb, you are such a sweet woman! You are an wonderful Mother. You are gentle, quiet, calm and exude peacefulness (even if you don't feel it ^_^). I appreciate and value your example. My Brother made a superb choice when he made you his wife and eternal partner. I'm thankful for you and grateful that his choice of you blesses me to have the opportunity to call you Sister forever! I love you. I'm GLAD you are my sister.

Diane. I'm GLAD you married who you did. I'm thankful that you love him and bless our lives by being his wife. I'm glad you love Jessie and Anni. We love you.

Sage. I didn't address you in the title and I don't know if you'll ever see this, but I feel compelled to address you here and now. You have, above any woman not directly attached to me as family (blood or adopted), have influenced me in my pursuit of enjoyment of my highest calling more than any other woman ever has. You have always spoken your heart and changed mine in so doing. You have truly been a Sage in my life. I'm more grateful to you than words can declare. I believe, with great swellings, that YOU are among the most important reasons that Father brought us to the area in which I was blessed to observe and meet and come to know you a little bit. You provided me the wise words, feelings, thoughts for which I esteem you a Sage. You also administered to me of a healing balm, much like that which could be made of the herb sage. You are a truly amazing and wonderful woman. You are an example of striving in Christ to be His and to become ever more like Him. I'm so much more thankful for you and to you than I can ever convey! I love you. I'm GLAD I know you. I miss you achingly sometimes. But I'm thankful that you love me still!

To all the other mothers I have not directly addressed: I know the Lord has put you in my life and I'm SO grateful to know you. I love you. I'm GLAD you are who you are because without you I could not progress to become the woman the Lord would have me be... the Mother He wants me to become. THANK YOU for being who you are!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Educating Evelyn: Two Tidbits and Then.... Thankful Thursday

2011-05-06T15:48:00.000-04:00

Educating Evelyn: Two Tidbits and Then.... Thankful Thursday