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I Am... Mama and Writer

First Mama.  Then Writer.  Though, of late, the latter has consumed a great deal of time as I work to get things in order to potentially be ...

Friday, January 28, 2011


Life just moves right along, doesn't it?

I'm currently in between 34 and 35 weeks along in this pregnancy and feel like I have so much more to do than I have time to do it in.  I guess that's what I get for my first experience of "nesting" ever!  ahwell...  I mean, I've felt that I wanted/needed to get some crocheting done before a new baby... but nothing like I've been feeling in this last trimester of this pregnancy.

The other day I pulled up this annoying short fence in my side yard.  Yeah, I just pulled it up.  Exhaling whilst pulling REALLY adds some strength - even in this preggie belly!  I was so super tired after that lame exertion, though, that I didn't get much at all done the next day.  Unbelievable!

I DID finish this baby's blanket, but have not made a jacket, shoes OR doll yet.  :(  I figure I'll aim at having the doll done by the time s/he is 18 months old... my girls haven't really noticed their's until around then.  Hopefully that'll hold.  I can't afford to get the yard right now anyway.

I'm working toward a goal of completely writing 12 Lessons of Life for this year.  I figure if I can get 8 done before the baby comes, I should be able to manage 4 in the 8 months after... at least, I think I will.  And I can be a bit like the Little Engine That Could when I put my mind to it.  So far...  dum-da-da-duuuumm... I've completely written 5 (or 6... I think it's 6, but if it is I didn't write down the title of the last one so I can - some day - print them out at the library or somewhere else).

New Year's resolutions and I don't do well together.  However, I do have a tendancy to start new things all year long... if I find something that I want to tackle, I go ahead and try.  If I find something in December of that sort, I make a point to begin on the tast/challenge/goal BEFORE the new year because I know how averse my psyche is to long-term effort on "New Year's" goals.  So... I started working on something I have long been very NOT good at doing with consistency.  Housekeeping.  I consider myself a homemaker and most of my homemaking efforts have, historically, been in making, not keeping things.  heeheehee  So, I'm striving to continue in the making (as much as possible) whilst adding in some keeping.

This week has been a bugger-boo, but I've still been doing all right.  Today I had to catch up on my schedule for sweeping (that's my single biggest job with the square footage of this house and all).  I think I've shared that I'm been maintaining well with laundry.  While there have been a few hiccups (laundry piling ridiculously - especially around the time the washer died and we took laundry to the mat... but even so, I was able to catch that mess up inside a week and I've kept it up really pretty well since then.  I've NOTHING to brag about considering I'm 35, I've been responsible for doing this (solely) for the last 5 years (or a little more) and it's only now that I'm even beginning to get a handle on it.  My point in sharing is this: if TORI can get it under some sort of control, I can tell you that ANYone can... and I mean anyone!!!  Seriously.

One thing that has helped me is my TJEd planning.  I haven't really mentioned that here.  A Thomas Jefferson Education has seriously rocked my world.  My paradigm for homeschooling (education in general) has been significantly ordered.  I say ordered because the principles in A TJEd are things I've been learning and feeling for some time, but didn't have a whole "system" in place to incorporate it any synthesize all that I believed.  Now I do and going through the process of getting it going is a sort of world rocking experience.  I'm glad.  It is what it is.  And it has been difficult, but glorious.  And I'm sure I will continue to experience the rocking for quite a while as the changes necessary are being implemented bit by bit... line upon line... and as I'm able.  It's SO liberating to be forgiving of oneself!

So, I've got a planner.  And in my planner I have a schedule for the basics of my day.  I have it written in through Feb and into March.  The basics include: morning and evening Devotionals, laundry (almost daily), dishes (daily; though they have YET to get completely done by me on a given day... my back starts screaming after washing about 1/4 of the dishes waiting for me on most days), FHE on Mondays, FGN on Sundays, Family Reading Time (daily), feed the chickens, piano practice (daily and, yes, for me... Ria has been doing HER practices MUCH more willingly since I started to catch up to her in skill!... I'm not happy that she's so very HIGHLY competative, but I'm trying to use what I know to inspire rather than require (with yelling too often in the requiring, at that) as TJEd suggests!!), and an area of my home to sweep each day.  The days that the area is smaller, I also have BIG MESSES right in there, so I can't give myself an excuse to leave those alone until the particular area rolls around the following week.  I know FLY LADY has some really great info on home maintenance... I did try her way... it just didn't work for me.  Perhaps jumping in to that program was a bit of going from 0-60mph in 2 seconds for an old Ford Pickup... (the pickup being me, of course).  I could do it, but then I'd fall apart after trying to maintain 60mph for a really unreasonably short amount of time.  So, I'm doing what I can do.  :)  And it's working for me, which is REALLY the key, afterall!

I did have to play catch up today, but I did almost catch up (dishes still not staying done... must work on that...).  It feels really quite good.  Oh, and I've decided to take trash back.  I'm not putting it by the door for Jess anymore.  Why should he be greeted by trash?  I mean, I can empty it and have the girls walk it out.  They may not love it, but neither do I... so we can do something we don't love together!  ;)

Obviously, I'm really happy about this subject... and, really, who IRL is interested?  Probably you aren't either... but if you've made it this far... THANK YOU!  :)  I appreciate your kind interest and care in/of me!

The baby is lovely.  S/he is a good mover and that is ALWAYS a comfort.  Baby also doesn't seem to ride in my lungs this time around.  NICE!  I'm curious to see if this is another girl after Kat's mold (I think she did  not ride in my lungs) or a boy - who would likely be a lot like Kat.  My midwife, when preggie with Tea (we do have the same midwife now, YEAY!) came to our home for a visit toward the end, as homebirth midwives do so they know where you live... and saw Kat REALLY as she is and told me, "You don't need a boy, you have HER!"  And that was after teasing me incessantly about needing a boy.  So, I bet, when we do have a boy, those two will be PEAS in a POD!  It should be interesting to see.  Kat just LOVES boys!!!

Ria is doing well.  She's getting tall.  I know it's inevitable, but it just feels like she's SO much taller lately.  I know her height does not compare to others her age, but it's all relative!  Her self-education is going well.  I'm planning out some ways to teach her better.  She loves Botony (we use Apologia for science and it ROCKS), which is the branch (pun intended) she's been studying this year.  She's read the book at least 9 times now... and it's not a teeny tiny book, either.  She is NOT hating piano currently, though she does try to complain here and there.  But then I point out that I'm doing _____ better than her and she needs to practice to catch up and she gets right to it.  hehehe  I know... not the best motivator.  I'm NEW to this whole inspire not require.  It's a WHOLE new paradigm for me... it's gunna take some time!

Kat is doing well.  She's more than half-way done reading the books listed at the end of How to Teach Your Child to Read In 100 Easy Lessons.  She LOVES to read and is doing well with it.  I'm excited for her to get into chapter books, which will probably happen by the end of next month!  She's still stumbling a lot and guessing a lot, but we just remind her that she's a GREAT reader, but a bad guesser and she works on sounding-out again.  Thankfully.  She loves handwriting class and has begun piano (with Mama).  I'm hoping to get up the guts to ask Ria's piano teacher to take Kat on some day... but I can at least get the really slow and painful stuff done since I can remember how Ria did it and work through it with Kat.  Kat definitely has more initiative and gets to work without a word from Mama.  Actually, she asks for permission and I often as not tell her no... I think this increases her desire.  I'm cool with using reverse psychology.  SO nice that it works!  :)  Especially since most of the time I say no it's really because my head or brain cannot handle another background sound.

My little follower is also a good leader.  Tea is a very good example of choosing the right, most of the time.  She does tend to follow her sisters' bad examples more than I would like, but for a 2 year old, she really does choose better than they do more often than not.  Prayer time is the exception lately.  We're working on that.  Tea LOVES to work.  She asks for piano practice almost every single day (which, in her case, means getting the book that she identifies as "her lesson book" out for her and putting it in place so she can gently pound the keys with a book in front of her), she also must work on handwriting and/or planning (in her planner) on a daily basis... especially if we are sitting down to do any of it.  Tea loves to read and if I sit down to do a reading lesson with Kat, I must also make sure to have the time to do a lesson with Tea.  So far we are on lesson 13 in the 100 Lessons book.  She is NOT reading that well, but I'm going to keep going for a bit longer before I start the book over with her.  We'll see what happens.  :)  She's had a LOT of peepee accidents lately.  I'm not sure if it's a behavioral, physically caused regression or emotional... I haven't been acting all that much differently, so I don't think it's emotional (at least not with me as the cause)... she's very good when we're out of the house, but has a tendancy to pee on herself a LOT when we're at home.  So much more laundry when she's as accident prone as she has been.  ahwell

Must run for now.  If you made it through all that, let me know!  ;)

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Dear Anni

Dear Anni.

Since Jess called to wish you a Happy Birthday on your birthday, I have dickered over whether to write to you here or not.  Since this is the only way I can think of interacting with you... as I do not have your email address (it was lost during my email address change), do not have your snail mail address, and only have your phone number via Jess... and you told me not to ever call again, so I am trying to honor your requirement.  Finally, today, my courage has won out.  So I write.

Anni, how could we know there was anything wrong?  You wrote???!!???  Jessie's email address has been the same for some time (years even).  I changed mine because the hotmail address was hacked and I didn't like the feeling of it being easy prey for future hackers... so I'm with another carrier, also free, but  it feels safer.  Jess never received an email from you in his gmail address.  He doesn't get to check it daily, but he does check it often enough that we would've heard about your difficulties if you'd written where he could receive it.  Do you have a Gmail account address for him?  You could always write to me here via a comment... I DO moderate, so I would not publish yours should you write any personal information.

I know I have not felt any kind of guilt over you or regarding you.  I believe Jess when he tells me he has not, either... He has, though, told me (and I can plainly observe that he has felt) just anger toward you, which I sorrow over greatly.  I don't know why you would think we would or should have guilty consciences since YOU made it very clear that you haven't wanted anything to do with me and fuss at Jess everytime he tries to interact with you via the phone.  I have felt sadness, even great sadness, especially at the beginning of your determination not to have anything to do wtih me, for sure, but not guilt.  Anni, why should be feel guilty?  You have expressed your desire and I have honored it!

Jess called for Christmas and your Birthday because I urged him to do so thinking that you might be kind and willing to communicate in an open and receptive manner.  I have felt urged to contact you (via Jess) because my girls keep asking me to let them write to you for _____ reason... most recently they wanted to write you a birthday letter and send it.  Since I don't have your new address, I haven't made the time for them to write the letters they desire to write.  If I had, they would only get their hopes up of hearing back from you... and since I can't send it, they couldn't hear back from you!  :(  I'm absolutely certain the only reason Jess ever broke down to call you on either Christmas or your Birthday was because of my urging on behalf of our daughters.  I have asked him to call you again, but he refuses.  Our girls have asked when he's going to call you and he gets aggitated and even angry and tells them he'll deal with it when he feels like he can deal with you - so saying in an angry manner.

Honestly, Anni, I feel that you have been most unfair to us.  We have been trying... Jessie has, since you made it ultra clear you didn't want to have anything to do with me - while I attempt to honor your request.  Even now I feel that I am honoring your desire to have nothing to do with me because, although I'm writing to you, it's really passive since I'm writing to you in my own blog.  *sigh*  I honestly cannot figure out what you want from us, Anni.  We love you and would like to have a friendly familial relationship with you, but our every overature is pushed back at us violently... or, at least, that is how Jessie feels.

You have our phone numbers.  They have not changed.  If you truly wanted to get in touch with us, that would be a sure-fire way to do so.  I know you hate me, so don't call me, I'm okay with that.  Call Jess.  Relationships require two parties to participate... not just one making all the efforts while the other rejects them.

I'm very sorry for the tiny bit I comprehend of your difficulties.  I'm sad to hear that you've endured surgeries and we had no idea.  I'm sure we could have only listened, but I, certainly, would have been happy to listen!  I hope we might reconnect in familial friendship and that you will feel able to share about your trials.  Please reach out, Anni.  That's all you need to do.  I am willing.  Jess will be.

With Love,
Tori (and the rest of the Gollihughs here, too)

Sunday, January 2, 2011

"Towards" versus "Away From" Motivation

This past week I read a post by a blogger I really like.  She also has a second post, sort of a follow-up, about the same topic, which I recomend.  But the one to which I've linked is the one that started me in the new mental direction I'm pursuing.  Another paradigm shift to rock the end of my 2010!!!  ^_^  The information containted in that post has been causing many "after shocks" in my mind and conversation since.  I'm so interested in and profoundly effected by the recognition of truth and subsequent efforts to synthesize it and create some change in my mind and life resulting from the recognition, that I feel a desire and even need to share the info with those few who may read my meanderings here.

So, here I go!

Motivation is the thing that gets us going in a given direction.  That's basic.  Everybody knows it.  Well, I would assume so anyway.

Have you considered the KIND of motivation effecting your efforts?  The kind may well determine, at least in part (probably large), the outcome of your efforts to move in the direction of your choice.  How?  Let's look at some examples from my life.... just cause you probably know me some and  may be able to identify with some of the examples or, at the very least, will surely be able to comprehend the message that pertains to you from my story.  Stories are awesome that way, aren't they!?

So, let's say you know this perpetually fat girl.  And, since you know me, you DO know at least one!  :)  Now, most people, to look at me, would not call me morbidly obese, but according to the charts I am.  And, at the very least, I feel morbid about my obesity.  ;)  Seriously, though.  I started getting fat, far as I can tell, when I was 10.  Since then I've had two pretty good runs at being thinner.  My thinnest each time saw me a size 10, but not able to drop the numbers on the scale below 160.  Even when I was running 6 miles a day 5-6 days a week.  Yes.  I'm serious.  So... how does this pertain to motivation?  Well, what has always been the "inspiration" when motivated to lose weight?  To get away from being fat, of course.  Okay, so the "of course" really should not be OF COURSE, but for me it has been.

For a good part of my life (most of it!), I've been trying to move "away from" being fat.  I've been motivated away from being fat.  Well, the thing about "away from" motivation (and I can definitely tell you that in my life this truth is hard, cold, and basically a FACT and not just when it pertains to weight issues) is that when our psyche is far enough away from the source of it's motivation, the effort to move "away from" becomes less and less and eventually most "away from" motivated people (me, me, me!) will stop moving "away from" entirely and slowly slide back into habits that caused the problem from which the away to move "away from" motivation arose at the start of the whole process.

On the other end is our family decision to homeschool.  Okay, so in the beginning it was a TORI-decision.  But after Jess saw some of the fruit (Ria reading at 4 years old), he decided to embrage the hog and hop on board.  ^_^  So, since then we've definitely have "towards" motivation working here in our hearts and home.  And how do I know the difference?  Well, when it's gotten very difficult and I've wanted to give up... we haven't.  We have not stopped homeschooling even though the going has gotten VERY tough at times.  We?  Yes.  Jess has pep-talked me back to determination to keep on keepin' on.  It's definitely a team effort here in the Gollihugh home... whether he actually does any "teaching" or not... which he does do, actually quite often, I need my primary cheerleader!!!!  I was and still am definitely motivated by some "away from" sort of inspiration, but the primary reason we keep going is because our Father in Heaven has communicated to us that this is the Path He would have us follow.  And who would want to move "away from" Him!??!!!??

Another example of "towards" motivation for me is our birthing choices.  Sure, there's the desire to move "away from" interventions and "away from" strangers in the process... but for me the first and foremost motivation has always been TOWARD the best experience for my baby, my man, and me (and now our girls, too, of course).    And, of course, needing to confess Christ in ALL things, I must confess that His direction in this is THE last word. 

In my own self, I have always been motivated toward the healthiest (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) way to give our babies the best very first start.  I have been motivated toward doing what I know my body is capeable of doing and doing it in the best way possible, which, for us, has meant: at home, quiet, with our family, midwife, her assistant, and a close friend and/or my Mom to attend to the needs of littles.  Yes, we have out young ones present to watch the birth because we desire that they should see their siblings born that they may know there are no if, ands, or buts about the new one's belonging in our family.  Once again, this has definitely been a choice for which TOWARD motivation must necessarily be within Jess AND me.  Last time (Tea's birth) my midwife had me so riled up and worried that I asked the Lord many times if I could please go to the hospital.  He said no.  I asked Jess if we could go to the hospital and HE said no.  So, the two most important men in my life urged me TOWARD what I wanted most and we three pulled it off with our midwife present to pull the baby out to prevent shoulder distocia (since she was supposed to weigh upwards of 11.5 pounds according to the ultrasound.  :p)  Ain't God GREAT!??

Currently I am working to change my thinking in lots of ways because of the most recent pradigm shifts I've experienced, this whole motivation thing being the most recent one.  One thing I'm really trying to change to TOWARD motivation is how I think about money.  As a result of God's grace and provision for us, we were able to pay off our credit cards prior to becoming unemployed.  Now, during this down-time (when Jess is working, but his income is NOT entirely sufficient for our needs) I'm striving to change my fiscal mind so that when the time comes and we have sufficient and some excess, we will be able to use what we have to great benefit of our family's future fiscal life.

Of course, I'm also working on TOWARD motivation regarding my body.  And then maintaining the TOWARD motivation!

How about you?  Can you see any goals you could apply a change of TOWARD motivation to increase the probability of long-term success?  I hope you experience some mental earthquakes as a result of this info.  I'm sure it'll only be the good kind... to shake your world up and enable you to make it TONS better!


Saturday, January 1, 2011

Helpful Weight Related Links


Explanation and tiny demo

Leg Lift thingy ANOTHER more complete

Back Fat butterfly exercise

Thread the Needle - lower body, about 4 minutes

Lunges the T-Tapp way

Twist the T-Tapp Twist; midsection

Turbo Charge Fat Burning all day

Tricep tightening And another

Foot Fitness the T-Tapp way

Walking workout to step away inches

Balance with T-Tapp

With the Broom


A Great Yoga Sequence for weight loss.

Hatha Yoga Flow 4: 55 minute class.  Lots of longer classes in the side bar, too!  :)

After-Baby Body Full Program

Low Impact Exercises

The Firm for weightloss

Interesting Yoga for Weight Loss

Yoga for Weight Loss: Beginners (not my favorite teacher)

Tamilee Webb

Buns of Steel 2000 on YouTube 55 minutes

Abs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 55 minutes

Thighs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 54 minutes

Arms and Abs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 55 minutes

Bikini Body Workout free online

Flirty Girl Fitness Upper Body

Legs of Steel 2000 on YouTube 56 minutes

Zumba Basics 1 hour

Zumba one version

Freelea interesting fruit vegan and what she has to say.

Crazy Guy Exercises... I'm gunna try to get to doin'!  :)


Crazy Fast Cardio

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